He didn't want to get his hopes up by too much. He knew he had to be rational and compose himself in case he looked like an idiot if it wasn't her. He also had to ask himself several questions including if it was Rose, why had she come all this way and if it wasn't Rose, should he try contacting her?
What if she was happily married, unlike his marriage to Tess had been mainly all about Tess getting her own way and he'd deserved what she had thrown at him for giving up on Rose so easily. Rose hadn't deserved that, he should have at least tried to call her and ended it properly but would he have had the courage?
Ever since finding the youngest girl in the river the night before, he'd been haunted by it and knew he'd never be able to shake it off fully, no matter how much time went by. It was comparable with losing Rose all that time ago.
Tess saw him leaving his office. She was going to ask him where he was going but thought better of it. She had seen him on the phone and could guess it was the desk sergeant telling him he had a call. This was it, now he would go back to Rose, if she would even have him after all this time.
Tess had no idea how strong Rose and Alec's love had been until she'd transferred to the police station in Paisley just as Alec was going back. She let him leave as Dave got up to stand by her desk.
"What's with him all of a sudden?" Dave wanted to know.
Tess shrugged her shoulders as the door closed behind Alec.
"How would I know?" Tess tried to sound disinterested. "He's hardly likely to tell me now, is he?"
Dave just shook his head.
"I would have thought you'd want to know Tess," he goaded her.
"Leave it out Dave, I'm not in the slightest bit interested in what he does," she tried to bluff.
She had been the one who had strayed. Alec could have left at any time he'd wanted to, if he'd had the nerve to try and patch up with his lost girlfriend after all that time. Why hadn't he even bothered or had he learned Rose had also got married and he'd not wanted to try to convince her to go back to him?
Playing around with Dave behind Alec's back had been dangerous and he'd finally found out, prompting him to seek a separation order, leading to divorce. Now, it was almost final and he'd not appeared to have changed his mind and try to get her back. Well if Alec didn't want her back, why should she fight for him?
That had been her attitude until yesterday, when she'd had this feeling the person leaving messages for Alec was none other than his old girlfriend. Now, it was beginning to get to her. She couldn't let on to anyone though, not even Dave or it could put him off for good.
Now she knew that if Rose was the mysterious caller, Alec would be straight to the court to rush the divorce through, even if he had to pay to do so. Rose was trying not to look so nervous as other officers passed her while she waited for Alec to arrive. The desk sergeant had asked for a name but she'd shook her head.
The sergeant had been asked again who it was by Alec.
"Sorry Sir, she won't give her name," he'd been told.
Now, Alec's stomach was doing somersaults as he walked down the flight of stairs to the ground floor. He could see people in the distance as he turned the corner of the stairs and could just make out someone sitting at the bottom of them. Rose somehow sensed he was walking down the steps and wanted to get up and run out of the police station but found she couldn't move.
She looked up from staring at the marble patterned floor as Alec was almost level with her. He knew it was her as he'd got nearer but up until now, he'd never dreamt she would somehow find out where he was but she would have seen him on the news. Well Jackie would have done anyway. He was now standing in front of her as she dared to look up.
"Rose?"
Rose put her hand over her mouth and tried to get up. Alec noticed the canvas bag on the seat at the side of her. He took her arm to steady her.
"Alec. Hi. Is this a bad time?" she asked as people buzzed by and two plain clothes officers were heading for the stairs.
Alec kept hold of her arm though, not caring who was passing.
"No. Come this way," he motioned at the side of the desk.
He offered to take the extra bag and led her along the corridor to a less formal interview room. Once inside, he put the bag on a chair and gestured for her to sit.
"You kept calling for me?" he asked, thinking it was rather a stupid question.
Who else would have called for him after seeing him on TV?
"I tried, yeah," Rose had to admit. "So, how long have ya been here?"
He wanted to say for too long.
"A good few years. What are you doing here?" he asked her.
"I saw ya on TV. I had try to see if you would talk to me," she admitted.
She couldn't see a wedding ring on his finger but he saw hers. She hadn't been able to part with it after losing James.
"You got married?" Alec dared asked her.
What was she doing here if she was still married, he wondered.
"Yeah, to James," Rose smiled nervously. "Not any more though. He died a few years ago."
"Rose, I'm sorry," he started to tell her but Rose took his hand that was holding her arm again. "What happened?"
"Car accident," Rose replied, trying to sit down. "It was all my fault. He went out, late at night."
"How was that your fault?" he wanted to know.
She had never told anyone else that they'd had a argument which had resulted in James's death.
"We argued but I swear I never knew he'd gone out in the car, until the police showed up," she admitted to him. "He found out he looked a bit like you. He already knew about ya but he found some old photos of us together. He said he was just going out to clear his head but I thought he might go for a walk or go round to Donna's."
"You were not to know he'd take the car Rose," Alec tried to assure her.
"I should have told him before he found out for himself," Rose replied. "If I had, he might have just left me but he wouldn't have died."
"Have you told this to anyone else? Your mother?" he wondered as he saw tears in her eyes.
Rose shook her head.
"How could I admit it, especially to Donna?" Rose wanted to know.
Alec could see her problem. She would have lost a good friend.
"Rose, it's okay, you are in no way to blame for what happened. It was his choice to go out and take the car, in that frame of mind. Was it ever investigated?" he wondered.
"No, not really. Someone had seen the car crashed and called the police. By the time I got to the hospital, they were trying to treat him but it was already too late. Donna met me there, my mum was too far away," Rose tried to explain and trying not to bring his unknown fifteen year old son into it.
"Where did you move to?" Alec asked.
"Chiswick, not far from Donna's," she admitted.
That explained why he wasn't able to find her then? Jackie must have been visiting her at those times he'd gone off and called Tess's bluff over it. He had already suspected he looked a bit like Donna's cousin but had never said anything. It hadn't really bothered him until now. He supposed it was some odd form of consolation that Rose had found someone who looked like him though obviously, the other man hadn't taken it so easily.
"Rose, I may have read about it at the time," he suddenly remembered looking over some accident reports. "When exactly was it?"
"It doesn't matter Alec, you weren't to know who you were reading about," Rose replied. "It was six years ago now."
"You've been on your own all that time?" he asked, touching her hand.
Rose tried to shake herself out of it.
"So, did ya marry Tess then?" she had to ask.
"Rose, what can I say?" he wanted to know. "You know things were awkward between us that last time I saw you."
"Alec, only because ya were a week early," Rose reminded him. "I knew something was wrong, I could always sense it. She got to you and stopped ya coming back for me."
He knew that much was true.
"Rose, whatever happened, I regret all of it now. Well not just now but for a long time now. She used me," he admitted. "She wanted to get back here after she bettered herself because of the training programmes in Scotland. Something had happened here and she had to leave. She thought getting herself a husband would make coming back possible."
"Yeah? What gave her the right to choose you Alec?" Rose wanted to know
"I swear I had no idea what she was up to," he tried to defend himself. "I just got caught up in it. Rose, can we forget about it?"
"I should let ya get back to work," Rose suddenly realised he was still holding her hand.
"They will manage, this is more important to me," he assured her. "Can we talk later? Please Rose, don't just go back home? Stay a few days?"
Was she going to let him get off so easily, he wondered. He could see she was considering what he was asking.
"Ya might not want me to Alec," she began to tell him. "So, ya didn't really want to be with Tess?"
"What? No, I swear I don't know what possessed me to let her get to me," he held up his free hand in his defence.
"We just drifted apart Alec," Rose tried to tell him. "James was so good to me when I was upset ya didn't come back for me. I started going out with him as a friend but I knew it was already too late for me and you. I never stopped loving you Alec and he knew that but he said he could live with it."
"You were lucky then?" Alec had to agree.
"Alec. You weren't so lucky then?" Rose began to feel sorry for him though she'd never been able to bring herself to be angry with him. "Yeah, I grew to love James. I thought you'd made your choice and that was it. Maybe I got it wrong?"
"Rose, I tried to find you – twice but no-one was there. I expect your mother was out working somewhere? If you'd moved though, she may have been with you. Hold on, why do you think I would not want you to stay?"
Rose did that thing of rolling her tongue around that used to drive him crazy.
"Alec, ya last came to see me a week early, remember?" she tried to get him to realise without coming out and telling him she'd got pregnant because of it.
Would he just walk away when she told him and he'd tell her she should have told him and he would have been more careful and gone out and bought something?
"Alec, are ya still married?" she tried to be evasive.
"Almost divorced, it was bound to happen but I found out she was seeing someone," he had to admit. "We have a daughter, Daisy, she lives with Tess. I had my own place but I'm in the middle of moving, I'm just in a small hotel at present. Rose, please stay, at least tonight so we can talk?"
He looked at the canvas bag on the other chair. She must have been prepared for at least one night away, he supposed.
"Rose, what did you mean by reminding me I last went to see you a week early?" he suddenly realised.
He saw the look on her face.
"A few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant," she finally broke the silence as they'd looked at each other. "How could I have told ya Alec? I knew the reason you'd not come back for me and it was Tess, getting her claws into ya."
Alec got up and she thought he was going to walk away without hearing her out. He just paced up and down as he now tended to do when he was thinking about something. How had he been so stupid and let Tess take Rose's place? There was no comparison between them when he'd thought about it.
"Alec, ya have a fifteen year old son, he's called Jamie. Me and James told everyone Jamie was his, only my mum knew."
"I have a son?" Alec tried to take it in. "Rose, you should have told me."
"How could I Alec? I had already convinced myself you'd got involved with Tess and 'cos I wouldn't go back to Scotland, that ya'd finally given up on me."
"Rose, I should never have given Tess the chance to take your place, I was wrong in doing so," he admitted.
He went in his jacket pocket and brought out a business card and scribbled his mobile number on the back of it
"This is where I'm staying, just tell them you're with me, I will try and call them. You'd best take a taxi there. Please Rose, go and wait for me?"
"Well okay then?" Rose debated. She had come all this way, hadn't she? "I wasn't sure ya'd want me to?"
He went to put his arm around her shoulder then Rose went to put her arms around his back and leaned on his shoulder.
"I should have tried to explain before," he admitted further. "I missed you so much Rose."
He leaned closer and kissed the top of her head,
"I never stopped loving you Alec," she told him as she tried to look up at him.
They were just about to kiss when there was a knock on the door, which broke the spell. Alec just kissed her forehead and got up to find out who had dared to interrupt him.
"What?" he snapped at the young officer who looked like he was scared to death.
"Sorry Sir but Sergeant Grant asked if you'd finished with this room?"
Alec stood back and wondered how anyone knew he was even in there, the cameras were always off unless it became a formal interview.
"There are other rooms, what's your name?" Alec replied.
"It's to interview a friend of Pippa Gillespie's," the poor new recruit tried not to stutter.
"Five minutes," Alec told him, hoping it wasn't Tess or Dave that were coming down to interview someone.
He went back to where Rose had remained seated, holding his hand out to help her up. He went in his pocket and brought out two keys for where he was staying, since no-one had been around to hand them to before he'd left.
"Get a taxi there," he suggested as Rose found herself taking them.
"I'll go back to the shopping area and get a few things," Rose agreed. "I'll get something to eat, I was so nervous on the way here."
"I can imagine," Alec had to smile, something he'd not done in a while. "I would join you but I got something earlier."
"Alec, about the case you're working on? Was it you who found that girl?"
"Yes. How did you know?" he wondered.
"I knew it would have been," she admitted. "It had to have been you."
"Rose, I went after Bob for you, like I promised but I let you down. I could not let anyone else down, not after that."
"Alec, ya did the best ya could," she reminded him, putting her hands on his shoulders. "I should have gone back and finally faced him."
"It may not have made any difference, with it being in the past," he replied, putting his arms around her and leaning on her shoulder. "So, does Jamie want to meet me?" he dared ask.
"Yeah. James and I always planned to tell him together but we never did. Donna only guessed a few years ago. Alec, I'm sorry I never told ya."
"I know love," he replied, trying to look at her.
After all this time, she was just as beautiful as ever. They'd known each other since they were thirteen and though then, they didn't know what being in love was but they had soon learned. They kissed briefly, making Rose feel the same as all that time ago.
"My divorce will be through soon but I will see if I can speed it up. Tess was taking her time signing the papers until she realised I was not going to try to get her back."
"Ya won't tell her I'm here will ya?" Rose was worried.
"She may guess I suppose? She took a message for me and purposely never told me about it," Alec told her.
"Alec, what I said, about what happened to James. Should I admit it? I mean should I have told the police?" she wondered.
"Rose, it was not your fault. What would happen if your told your friend or your mother?" he asked her. "It would be even more devastating than when it happened. Rose, you should not feel guilty over it."
"Yeah, I suppose you're right? Donna may never forgive me and I don't want to lose her, Jamie needs her," Rose replied. "She helped him so much when James died."
"We can talk later, we have a lot to catch up on. Do you have photos of Jamie?" Alec wondered, as if any mother didn't have photos of their children on their phones these days?
Rose quickly brought a few recent ones up on the screen.
"I have loads that I put on from when he was born but a lot are of him with James or both of us."
"It does not matter to me Rose. You did what you thought was best for both of you," Alec assured her, looking at Jamie posing with the school football team.
When she'd got a phone with a better internet connection, she had copied all the photos from her laptop onto the memory card.
"I went to look for you a couple of times," he reminded her.
"I moved in with James when I found out I was pregnant. He said he'd look after me. What could I do Alec? I could've stayed on my own or with mum but what then?
"Rose, I do not blame you for doing so," Alec told her. "Please, don't go getting the next train back to London? Promise me?"
"Okay, I promise," Rose assured him. "Jamie was just as nervous about thinking you'd want to meet him."
"Where did you say you lived?" he asked her. "Rose, John moved to London, he got married and they adopted a boy, he's around the same age as Daisy. Did you mention Chiswick?"
"Yeah, James already had a house there, it was left to him by his parents. My mum moved in when he died. So where does John live?"
"Not far away. His wife, Sarah-Jane was left this big old house by her uncle. I'll let him know you're here then?"
After kissing briefly again, he thought he'd better get Rose out before Tess or Dave ventured downstairs and see her. Tess would know instantly who was with him even if he denied it was Rose, not that he was going to hide the fact she was here if he was asked.
"When you get to the hotel, make sure you tell the owner we will be in for the evening meal. I've not been bothering but meals are included," Alec told her. "Rose, you have no idea how happy I am to see you," he added putting his hand on her shoulder as she picked up the canvas bag.
He walked back along the corridor with her but stayed behind the desk, daring the desk sergeant to say anything.
