Training Montage #8: The Dangers Of Sentimentality


Tsunade looked up from her desk suspiciously. "Hidden Stone."

"Yup." Sasuke was stood with perfect posture.

"May I ask why you chose this mission in particular?"

Sasuke shrugged. "I just felt like this was a mission that would best assist the glorious village of Konoha."

"Uh huh."

He maintained eye contact for a few more seconds before breaking. "Also one of the seven swords of the mist is presumed to be there."

"Ah."

"The one that explodes."

"Does Mist know about this?"

"Probably."

"It would be in the spirit of cooperation to let them reclaim their artefact."

"And it would be in the spirit of my growing sword collection to not do that thing."

"How many of those do you have?"

"Four of the seven so far."

Tsunade maintained eye contact for a few more seconds before smirking. "Go."

"Yes ma'am!"


"How long have they been going at it for?" Karin whispered.

"About fifty minutes." Kabuto admitted. "I'm not sure how she's kept the cursed seal active for this long."

"Damn." The redhead reached over and grabbed a handful of Kabuto's popcorn.

In front of them, through the large hole in the wall of the Northern hideout, was a wide expanse of desert. Out on that desert was what could be accurately described as two kids with superhuman strength beating the shit out of each other.

Hinata, in the second stage of her curse mark, was seemingly having the time of her life, grabbing her opponent and taking him on a joyride across the desert, slamming him into various stone structures as she went. Beneath her, Jugo, the primary experiment of this hideout, was roaring incessantly. He was fully transformed, with black skin and red eyes, and had completely lost his mind. Crashing into a boulder, he grabbed it in both hands and heaved, tearing it out of the floor and flinging it up to collide with Hinata. There was a flash of lightning, and she split the rock in two, flying down to land in front of him.

"Woo! This is fun!" She chuckled, before her eyes hardened. "But seriously."

With a blur, she appeared in front of Jugo, with a palm on his forehead. "I will literally blow your brain out if you don't calm down."

Jugo froze. Then, slowly, he began to transform back, the bestial features disappearing from his body until he was left in his usual form, with pale skin and bright orange hair.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered. "I just, I can't control it. The anger comes and then I just-"

"It's fine." Hinata reassured, removing her hand to pat him on the shoulder as she reverted back to her own base form. "I know it's not your fault." She looked back where they'd come from and wrinkled her nose, waving at Karin. "Do they really just keep you locked up in there?"

"They do." He sighed. "They don't have any other way to control me. Kimimaro was the only other person who was safe in my presence, except Orochimaru of course."

"Ooh, Kimimaro." Hinata winced. "He's, uh..."

"Dead." Jugo exhaled. "I know." He looked at her. "He came to visit me before he went out to get you. Said you were his legacy."

"I don't know about that-"

"You can control me." He told her. "You're stronger than me. And with you I know that I won't hurt anyone if you don't want me to."

"With threat of death?" She tilted her head.

"If it works." He chuckled.

She shrugged. "Alright. I'll talk to Rochi, see if I can't get you freed. In the meantime though..." she squinted, more for his sake than hers, at the hole in the wall. "We'll probably have to find you a new cell."


Kankuro stood, panting, amidst the remains of scrap metal and wood.

From his right, there was a clapping sound, and an old voice. "That was quite a show of temper, young man."

"Who are you and how did you get in here?" He replied, unconcerned.

"My name is Chiyo." Said the voice. "And I go where I want. Tell me, why did you just destroy all of your puppets?"

"They're not much use to me any more; I need to make new ones for my eyes to fit in." He replied, turning to face where she probably was. "And these puppets failed me once before. So they need replacing."

"No sentimentality, hm?" The woman cackled. "Do you throw out everything that doesn't serve a purpose?"

"Not everything." Kankuro replied. "Don't try to make everything a morale dilemma; puppets aren't people."

"Most of the time." Chiyo muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing. Did you know, my grandson created those puppets sometime before he left?"

"Oh." Kankuro didn't feel particularly sorry. "My bad. Would you like them rebuilt, or?"

"Nah." The old woman chuckled. "He's an asshole. So what are you going to do now?"

"Make new puppets." Kankuro replied. "Better ones. Ones I know I can trust. And if I fuck up with those then I can blame myself."

"In that case." Chiyo chuckled. "I may be able to help you."


Sasuke was currently sat in a dark, dingy cave. A fire was too likely to attract attention, so as cold as it was, he would have to cope. That or attract bloodthirsty Mist jonin he was technically at peace with.

"You've got it?" Itachi asked, appearing in the cave a moment later.

"Got it." Sasuke grinned, tapping a sealing scroll against his leg. "Shibuki. 'Splash'. I don't know what maniac decided to make a sword out of explosive tags, but I'm not complaining."

The two sat in silence for a few minutes, but there was obviously something bugging Itachi. Eventually, he vocalised it. "I hear you've been spending a lot of time back at the compound. With mum and dad."

"Yeah." Sasuke tensed. "We made up."

"He's playing nice, then?"

"Not sure what you mean." Sasuke shrugged, eyes on the scroll rather than his brother. "We eat. We talk, a bit. It's chill."

"You know you can't trust him."

"What am I trusting him with?" Sasuke bit back, a little angrier than he'd planned. "I go home for dinner sometimes. That's it."

"You're letting him talk to you." Itachi replied, evenly. "And I'm worried about what he says."

"You'd know what he said if you showed up." Sasuke remarked, bitterly.

"You want me to sit down and eat with him-"

"Okay enough of this." Sasuke span around to face his brother. "What the hell is your problem with dad?"

Itachi tilted his head, in almost believable confusion. "Other than the part where he tired to force his way into the old man's job-"

"Nope." Sasuke cut across him. "That's not it. You've had beef with him since long before that. About as long as I can remember. What is it really?"

Itachi sighed and looked down. "Classified."

"How classified?"

"Very."

"Alright then." Sasuke thought about it. "Has he killed anyone innocent?"

"What?" Itachi looked at him like he'd grown an extra head.

"I don't want specifics." Sasuke held out his arms. "You don't have to break confidentiality. Has dad killed any innocent people?"

"I...no, not as far as I know." Itachi answered.

"Has he tortured any innocents?"

"No!"

"Has he down anything to jeopardise the wellbeing of Konoha?"

Itachi's mouth set into a line. "No."

"Do you hate him because of some idealistic difference? Because you disagree about what's important?"

Itachi opened his mouth. Closed it.

Sasuke flopped onto his back. "Look. If you'd spent more than an hour around Naruto and Hinata before the team formed, you'd know they were not happy people. Probably still aren't. And neither of them had families. Period." He sat up. "Well I do, Itachi. And call me selfish but I'm not about to give that up because you don't think dad is a good person."

Itachi looked at him for a moment. Then sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry; I've said I should stop trying to tell you how to live your life. I'll try to-" He broke into a coughing fit.

Sasuke started forwards in surprise as his older brother began retching up phlegm. "Shit, bro, what-"

"I'm-ugh- I'm fine." Itachi waved him off, recovering somewhat. "I must have picked something up; that's what I get for sneaking around in the cold for hours on end."

"If you say so." Sasuke shuffled backwards, trusting him. "I've set a clone on watch, so I'm going to try and get some sleep. See you tomorrow."

"You too, little brother."

Sasuke rolled over.

He didn't see Itachi bring his hand away from his mouth covered in blood.


"No way." Gaped Hinata. "Sasuke?"

"You knew him?" Karin asked, puzzled.

"Knew him? He was my teammate!" The Hyuuga laughed out loud. "You have a crush on my teammate!"

"I wouldn't-I mean-" Karin blushed.

The two were in Hinata's room. It was dark outside; Orochimaru's apprentice had wanted a sleepover and Karin had been too amused to refuse her.

"I'll have to introduce you to him." Hinata mused. "Sometime, after I'm done here. This is assuming he doesn't immediately try and arrest you for working with Orochimaru, of course..."

Watching closely, Karin was able to catch it. Subtle, but there; Hinata's face took on a melancholic expression for just a moment. It happened every time her old friends were brought up.

"Hinata?" Karin asked, tentatively.

"Hm?"

"You know you don't always have to smile, right?"

Hinata tilted her head. "I don't know what you mean."

"You're always smiling." Karin continued. "And I don't know if you're trying to cheer us up, or there's something deeper to it, but...you're allowed to be sad."

Hinata kept up the mask for another few seconds before sighing, and dropping into a much more neutral, almost wistful expression. "You know, someone once had to tell me that I was allowed to be happy. Seems I'm always one for extremes."

"Are you okay?" Karin asked.

"No." She admitted. "Not really. I'm practicing the Naruto method of acting happy so that even if it doesn't help me, I don't bring down other people."

"Well, it's working." Karin assured her. She grabbed her hands. "Look. When I was young, my mom died. She used up too much of her chakra trying to heal the wounded from some war or another. After that, it became my job. And they thanked me when I healed them, blessed me, promised me everything for saving their lives. Right until the hospital got attacked, they all died, and I went off to be a ninja...the point is that since I lost my family, you're the only person who's ever been nice to me without expecting anything in return. Except those hugs you demand when you get really homesick..."

"I'm sorry, your chakra looks like Naruto's-" It was Hinata's turn to blush.

"It's fine." Karin waved her off. "Look, you care. I don't mind if it's just an act, it feels the same to me. So I'm sticking with you, got it? Not Orochimaru, you."

"I don't-" Hinata shook her head. "Karin I don't expect your service-"

"I know." The redhead smiled. "That's why you have it. And it means if you need to, and your teammates aren't there, you can come and talk to me, okay?"

Hinata smiled, and she knew this one was real. "Thanks, Karin. I will."


Haku let herself into the house, closing the door with a deliberate rattle. "I'm home!"

"Hey dear!" Shizune shouted, from the kitchen. "Dinner's fish pie, in ten minutes."

"Were you able to get the Wave fish?" Haku called, taking off her shoes and leaving them by the door.

"Damn right I was!" Called Tsunade, from the living room. "Persuaded the Fire Daimyo to let Konoha in on the trade deals. You're welcome!"

"Thank you!"

Haku walked in to crash on the sofa opposite the Hokage. He hadn't been formally adopted or anything, but Tsunade had realised soon after her promotion that he was still technically being held by T&I. Lacking an alternative, she had let Haku crash in the house she shared with Shizune, and eventually decided the dynamic was fun.

"Oh yeah, congratulations on your chunin-ness, in case you didn't get that enough in Suna." Tsunade remarked.

"Thanks. Again." Haku paused. "Did you notice that the Mizukage was present?"

"Notice?" Tsunade chuckled. "It was hard not to. Bitch is almost as stacked as I am..."

"What?"

"Nothing. Why, did you meet her?"

"She came up and talked to me." Haku explained. "Kept talking about my 'unique position' and stuff." He wrinkled his nose. "I think she wants me to betray Konoha."

"Sounds cool. Go ahead."

"Of course I-, uh, what?"

"Go for it." Tsunade shrugged. "Mist's a cool place. Very...misty. Good mist to hide in, in hidden Mist."

"This is a joke, right? Terumi wants me to go work for her."

"Uh-huh." Tsunade acknowledged. "Whole 'nuther ninja executive ladder right there."

"Why would you-" Haku narrowed his eyes. "You're scheming."

"Now whatever could you mean by that?" Tsunade was making a sly smile.

Haku thought through it in his head. "Executive ladder...Mei mentioned that I would be able to access senior positions in Mist, what did she...you sly dog."

"Hm?"

Haku gaped. "You're setting me up to be Mizukage!"

"That's a bold statement."

"I'm fifteen!"

"Gaara's younger, and look at him."

"Gaara's a jinchurikki!" Haku shook his head vigorously. "He nearly blew up Konoha on his own; I'm Jonin level at best-"

"For now." Tsunade raised a finger. "You have a powerful bloodline limit," the finger pointed towards the diamond shape on Haku's neck. "And in a few years, that is going to mature. You've had years of unofficial training under a very powerful Mist ninja, and you're about to get a load of official experience from two separate hidden villages, not to mention the personal tutelage you're getting from me. You have potential, mister."

"So you want me to, what, continue with the 'assassinate the Mizukage' schtick?" Haku asked.

"As much as Mei is a massive bitch, and admittedly she's trash compared to the rest of the Kage, and you can technically challenge her to a duel to the death for the position, no I don't want you to kill her." Tsunade stretched. "But she gonna die someday, ninja always do. Most don't live as long as the old man did. Or she'll be deposed in some other way. But if you're there to take her place..."

"So what's in it for you in all of this?" Haku looked at her suspiciously. "Because being a puppet ruler for Konoha kind of sounds like bad practice."

"I don't want that." Tsunade rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't mind friendlier relations with Kiri, sure, but mostly...well, it's your choice. I'm not going to make you do it if you don't feel like it, I just...want what's best for you."

Haku looked at her like she'd grown a second head, but Tsunade was still there, blushing slightly.

"...I'll think about it." Haku allowed. "It's something my old master was after for his whole life. And it's good to have something to strive for."

"But make sure not to knock up anyone over there until you've taken over."

It was Haku's turn to roll his eyes.

"I'll try, mum."

"What was that?"

"Ma'am. I'll try, Ma'am."


"I have the key to your seal."

Kyuubi glared. "You do not know how to leave well enough alo-come again?"

Naruto held his hand out. A glowing key looking thing appeared above it. "Jiraiya has a toad that guards it. I can use it to strengthen and weaken the seal."

"So, why should I care?" The fox waved a claw dismissively. "You can get rid of my escape progress. It's not like you'd ever be stupid enough to weaken the seal."

Naruto waited.

The nine-tails looked at him. "No fucking way."

"Powers."

"Fuck you."

"Do you want to get out?"

"Do I-" the fox had stood fully to attention now, looking down at him. "You're crazy. I'll kill you if you let me out. You know that right?"

"Right now, sure." Naruto shrugged. "I'm hoping we'll be able to work on that."

"You absolute-"

"I'll weaken the seal." Naruto promised. "If you're willing to offer me some chakra. If you're not going to be of any help I'll tighten it up so I can't even hear you until I'm about to die. But," he grimaced. "I...really don't want to do that. Because it sounds like it's been really nasty for you while I was a kid and I don't want to do it to you again."

"You're feeling empathy? For me? You're really screwed up."

"But if you'll cooperate I'll weaken the seal so you'll cooperate more. And eventually, when I'm confident you won't try to kill everything I care about or I'm strong enough to stop you, I'll let you go."

"You're lying."

"I don't usually do that."

"I've watched every prank you've ever committed."

"I don't lie about anything that's important, and I don't go back on my word. If we can work together, then eventually I'll free you."

"I'm still under your control." The fox growled. "No matter how nice you are, the final decision will always be up to you."

"You're trying to guilt trip me and it's not working." Naruto deadpanned. "I'll be an asshole if it stops you killing people. But I'm willing to give you a chance."

Kyuubi glared at him suspiciously. "Are you using genjutsu on me?"

"I literally cannot cast genjutsu to save my life."

"Hn." The fox leaned back, and mumbled "Fine."

"What?"

"Fine!" It snapped. "I'll lend you some power when you need it."

"Woo!"

"A little."

"How much?"

"More than you'll ever need until you're fighting people who're Kage-plus. If you want the really cool powers you have to beat me up and take my chakra (good luck with that) and then finally release me and have me keep cooperating (good luck with that) but I doubt you'll ever need that much."

"You're the best!"

"I know." The fox preened. "Now. Have you done anything with the passive chakra I've been feeding you?"

"I can make the basic chakra cloak." Naruto answered. "No tails appear, like one did when I was fighting Hinata, but it still makes me stronger and faster. I can mostly control myself when I'm doing that one, I'm just pretty annoyed at everything."

"Okay, so let's call that Kyuubi cloak version zero." Said the fox, taking on an almost lecturing tone. "One through three tails of power is version one, that's what you failed to defeat your teammate with. Do better next time, by the way. You're not allowed to lose while using my power anymore. And version two is four through eight tails. Entering version two is a significant power boost, so naturally has a lot more risks, and each tail past four gives you more power and less self-control."

"What happens when I have all nine?" Naruto asked, innocently.

"That would require you completely removing the seal, at which point right now I'd kill you." Kyuubi replied, nonchalantly.

"Oh."

"So, where to begin..." the fox mused. "I can output a bunch of chakra into your technique if you give me time to build it up, but if I try that for most of your attacks they'll explode in your hands. The summoning and shadow clones are lucky exceptions; the former was a massive skill-less chakra dump and the fattie has already explained the latter one's workings...I know, let's try and get you into two tails version one."

"Uh." Naruto shifted. "Not that I don't appreciate the sudden burst of enthusiasm, but are you sure we want to start with further than I've ever gone before?"

"You'll be fine." Reassured the fox, with a very un-reassuring grin. "You don't have anything to get angry at and this time I'm trying to regulate it. It's just a matter of getting used to it and controlling it."

"Alright." Naruto sighed. "This is me extending the initial olive branch. Hit me."

The Kyuubi's form glowed. Red light suffused the water that flowed down the centre of the sewer, approaching Naruto hungrily. Gulping, he stepped into the stream.

With a jolt, he was back in the clearing. His form glowed. And he howled to the sky.


After the fight of his life, Naruto stomped back into his mindscape, glaring daggers at the Kyuubi. "You bastard."

The fox raised an eyebrow. "How did it go?"

"I tried to kill Ero-sensei!" He shouted.

"Did you win?"

"No!"

"I thought I made it clear that-"

"I went insane! Completely nuts!"

"You didn't ask for any more chakra though. What happened?"

Naruto shrugged. "Turns out this cool pendant I got from Tsunade suppresses bijuu chakra."

"Shame, I hoped you would level the forest." The fox shrugged.

"Yeah well-" Naruto paused. "You hoped?"

The bijuu looked at him.

"You knew it would happen?"

It snorted.

"Did...did you just prank me?"

The most dangerous demon in the lands rolled onto its back and laughed.

"You are an asshole. A massive, gaping asshole."

"You are far more entertaining than most of my owners."

"Alright, ha ha." Naruto rolled his eyes. "Now do it without the madness."

"No."

"Why?"

"I...can't."

"What do you mean you can't?"

The fox craned its head to meet his eyes. "I'm not all here."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You are an immortal demon beast with incredible power don't try and tell me you're having an off day-"

"No, I mean I'm literally not all here." The fox rolled back over and huffed. "You're talking to half a demon beast. The yang half, to be precise."

"...Explain." Said Naruto, very confused.

"After I was brainwashed for my little romp in Konoha-"

"Too soon!"

"-and the Fourth Hokage did the reaper death seal to put me in you, he decided that he was going to literally split me in half. Probably thought if he put all of me in you I'd have taken over by now, which is probably true. I'm not elemental like some of the other bijuu; so you're currently talking to the yang half of my chakra. The yin half...I have no idea."

"Maybe he sealed it inside himself when the reaper ate him so he could come back later under a reanimation jutsu and dramatically give it to me?" Naruto suggested.

"That would be stupid." The Kyuubi dismissed.

"Why?"

"Because even if there was a plot device with the power to bring people back from the reaper's body, he wouldn't have known about it." The fox reasoned. "And if he did, he would have told someone about it long before now. And more importantly, if us bijuu could be permanently removed by sealing us into the reaper it would have been done generations ago. My other half is probably sealed into someone else, or hidden somewhere. But I think that imbalance is part of the problem."

"Isn't yang the good one?" Naruto scrunched his head up. "I'd think less shadowy dark stuff would be a good thing."

"Yang is light, yes, but it's also masculinity. Confidence. Aggression. Too much yin chakra would make you dark, depressed, calculating and broody. And your penis would shrink."

"What!"

"Joking. Mostly. But the yang overload you get whenever I pour my chakra into you makes you enraged, overconfident, unthinking. A picture perfect demon host. It's not just that I'm sabotaging you, at least not deliberately. Your spirit is just massively 'out of whack'."

"So how do we fix it?" Naruto asked, skipping to the point.

"Ideally, get my other half back." The Kyuubi growled. "But lacking any leads...you're going to have to balance it yourself. If you provide the yin chakra yourself, you should be able to stay sane enough."

"But I suck at yin!" Naruto complained. "Loud, flair, explosions, yang is where I'm at!"

"Shadow shuriken? Multi shadow clone?" The fox dismissed. "You probably act all yang because your chakra is yin up the wazoo. Look, if you can learn to focus that nature transformation you should be able to access higher levels of my power without going crazy."

"You want me to master a nature transformation? That sounds like it would take a while." Naruto frowned.

The kyuubi shrugged. "Well, you have...two and a half years. Hop to it. I'll be here if you need me, tormented eternally by loneliness and imprisonment."

"Aww, c'mon. You've got me?"

"And the good news just keeps on coming!"

Naruto sighed, and turned away.

There was a jolt, and he was back in the clearing. "Jiraiya! I have a plan!"


Seas glistened. Mountains cut stark gray lines through the greens of forests, the yellow of deserts, the whites of the snowy poles.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" The man declared.

"I wouldn't know." Remarked a female voice from behind him.

"I suppose not." He sighed. "I hope to show you, one day."

"Me too! It sounds really pretty, to hear you talk about it. I don't remember it being all too special, though..."

"Likely due to your birth circumstances." The man replied, darkly. "Those who raised you were despicable."

"Hey! My family was the best!"

He bit down on his tongue. "Of course, my dear. I apologise. Still, events progress down there that worry me. The Akatsuki are about to move, the beasts are converging, that schemer continues exerting his influence over the world, and those two..."

He cut himself off again. "My ancestors were quite right. Mankind has more than proven that it has failed in it's duties."

"What do you mean?" The female voice was concerned.

"Nothing, my dear. Don't worry. Soon, we will both be able to see." Arms crossed behind his back, eyes still closed, Toneri Otsutsuki looked out at the ninja world.


And with that, our interlude comes to an end. Oh come on, I couldn't make a Hyuuga-centric story without introducing moon boi, could I?

The battle lines begin to draw, the pieces begin to move, and other self-aggrandising metaphors are abound. Next week, Shippuden begins.

Your buts.

Hold onto them.