Aftermath 5: Who Botched the Mission?
"You fucking what?"
Sasuke and Kankuro had reunited with Kakashi, Naruto and Sakura on their way back to Suna. Kankuro was busy talking to Sakura, stood with his brother's body. Sasuke had...other concerns.
"His eye changed pattern." Naruto recited. "Then he said 'Kamuiy' and absorbed the entire explosion."
"You-" Sasuke rounded on Kakashi. The Jonin had his headband down over his eye, and a smug look on his face. "You have a Mangekyo Sharingan?"
"Yeah." Kakashi replied.
"HOW? HOW DID YOU EVEN GET A SHARINGAN IN THE FIRST PLACE?"
"Well you see..." The jonin paused, looking for the words. "Because I'm Hatake Kakashi. Fuck you, I can do whatever I want."
"I-You-" Sasuke threw his hands up in the air, walked away a few steps, then turned back. "Why have you never used this before?"
"When have I ever needed to use it before?"
"When-" Sasuke thought about it. "The Wave mission. You were stuck in the water prison, we had to bail you out."
Kakashi snorted. "You think I was stuck in there?"
"You-" Sasuke connected the dots. "It was a test? You were testing us?"
"Yeah."
"Zabuzza was almost Kage Level!"
"You're still alive, aren't you?" Kakashi pointed out. "And Zabuzza was not Kage level. He could have assassinated Mei, probably, because Mei's fodder, but that's it."
"I don't believe this." Sasuke walked off in a sulk.
"What was all that about me needing to be a better Jonin?" Kakashi called after him.
"Fuck you!"
Sasuke stopped his dramatic exit as three forms blurred past him in the other direction, landing in front of the group. Two healers, supporting one blond kunoichi.
"Oh, good. You're all still alive." Chiyo remarked.
"Mostly." Temari winced, pointing.
"His body's intact." Sakura told Kankuro, running glowing green hands over Gaara. The red haired boy was laying on the floor, perfectly still. "Physically fine, no poison...just sort of empty."
"Bijuu extraction." Chiyo explained, walking up. "Seen it before. The relationship between Jinchurikki and Bijuu is symbiotic; the beast's chakra and the human's mix, chakra coils expand to compensate, and if the beast's chakra is removed, all the jinchurikki's is ripped away with it. Then before they can regenerate it..."
"When have you ever seen this before?" Kankuro asked her.
"About fifteen years ago." Chiyo told them. "In Shukaku's previous host, after I'd just transferred it into Gaara."
"You did-"
"Do you know what happened to the bijuu?" Chiyo ignored Kankuro's outbreak. "It's not a great idea to leave them running around unchecked."
The rest of the group looked at Naruto.
He frowned, looking off into the middle distance. "Nnnno. Actually. Kyuubi couldn't sense him anywhere in the cave, or chasing after Deidara. And Sakura's right, there's no Big Sandy in Gaara anymore. It's like he's..."
"In a new host. An Akatsuki host." Kakashi frowned. "That's not good."
"If we found Shukaku." Kankuro 'looked' up, knuckles white. "Put the bijuu back, do you think-"
"Not enough." Chiyo sighed. "You could jumpstart the body but his soul's already in the pure lands. You're not getting that back, not without..." she paused.
Everyone's eyes slowly turned to her.
"Shit." She muttered.
"You have a way?" Temari asked, voice cracking.
"Please. He's our brother." Kankuro begged her.
Chiyo growled to herself. "Damn kids and their damn puppy dog eyes...'Kisho Tensei'. It's a suicide jutsu; if the body is in good condition, it lets you sacrifice your own life to restore theirs. Can't help if he's been cut in half, poisoned, or is dying of old age, but in special cases like this, yeah, it could bring him back. Problem is I'm old and frail; I don't have the chakra to revive him successfully."
There was silence. The group looked at Gaara, each other, Chiyo, and back again.
And then...
"Aaight. Teach it me."
Temari's eyes widened and she looked up in surprise. "Kankuro-"
"I'm strong enough." The middle sand sibling rolled his shoulders. "Teach me the suicide jutsu. I'll bring him back."
"Kankuro, you can't." Temari hissed. "It'll kill you."
"Yeah. That's what 'suicide' does."
Chiyo gave them both a critical eye. "I remember a boy," She said, "who thought his youngest sibling was a monster. Who preferred the company of puppets to that of his family. What's changed now, Sabaku no Kankuro?"
Kankuro looked down. His fingers twitched, as though he was attempting to manipulate a puppet that wasn't there.
"You know, I've made a lot of mistakes in my life." He started. "Failing entirely to dodge this one sword swing, that was a mistake. Failing entirely to aim my turret-puppets properly, that was another big one. But the biggest mistake I've ever made was not being there for my little brother when he was growing up. Because he thought that everyone hated him, and he might just have been right. And then," Kankuro choked a little, "after the mess in Konoha? He thought he had to apologise to me."
Chiyo stared at him, unmoving.
"So I'm not fucking this bit up." The young puppeteer sighed. "If I've gotta die to give Gaara an actual life, then I'll do it. Just...let him know I loved him, alright?"
There was silence. Naruto sniffed.
"Well then." Chiyo shrugged. "I suppose the bitchiest thing to do right now is make you live with the embarrassment after giving that speech."
"What-"
"Whiskers, come here. I need to borrow some chakra."
Chiyo walked over to Gaara, cracking her knuckles, and Naruto hesitantly followed.
"I thought you said you didn't-"
"I don't have enough chakra, but you should have plenty to spare." Chiyo chuckled. "I just need a temporary pulse of bijuu goodness to set him off with, and then once he's back on his feet he'll start replenishing it on his own. Don't worry, you won't have to die to get this to work."
"Are you actually gonna die to do this?" Naruto asked, laying his hands on Gaara's body as instructed.
"Kid, good rule to live by." Chiyo explained. "If ever you're in doubt about a decision, pick the one with the coolest way to die."
"I think you're my new role model." Naruto gaped.
"Damn right. Now, start pouring when I say."
It wasn't a very dramatic event, bringing Gaara back from the dead.
There was no swelling musical orchestra, no bright lights, no powerful whirlwind that lifted up Gaara's form.
Naruto poured some of his chakra into Gaara, and Chiyo did the same, and over a few minutes her posture sagged, and her eyes closed. Eventually she leaned back, exhaled, and daintily-as-you please lay backwards onto the grass.
And that was that.
A few moments later, Gaara coughed. "The...fuck?"
Everyone clustered around as the ex-jinchurikki slowly sat up, wincing, and looked around at them all.
"Gaara? You okay?" Temari asked.
"Huh. I told them I had good friends." Was all he responded with, smiling.
The Konoha-nin stayed for Chiyo's funeral.
It was a fairly grand affair, as she had been a well respected member of the village for a long time.
Gaara, as Kazekage, gave a speech, pointing out that he was the last in a long line of people who owed their lives to the woman, and the Leaf five respectfully ignored the part where he talked about how many people from the other villages she'd killed. "Suna has not known many like her," Gaara concluded, "and now it is up to us to follow in her example."
"Two dead Akatsuki for one old woman." Kankuro said after the speech, stood beside foreigners. "I'm pretty sure that qualifies as mission success. I know Chiyo would have made the trade in a heartbeat, so I can't really complain."
"Did you know her well?" Naruto asked.
"We got pretty close after that one time we attacked your village." Temari explained, walking up. "It was nice to have some sort of parental figure, if only for a few years. Kami knows we had a lot to catch up on."
"Shukaku is still missing." Kakashi reminded them. "So I can't really say we succeeded-"
"The big softie is trying to say that this was on the house." Sasuke interrupted. "Gaara's our friend, as weird as that is, so you don't have to pay us to help save him. Plus," he smirked, "the bragging rights for Konoha is payment enough."
"I'll let you have that one." Kankuro sighed. "But don't expect Suna to come begging for help anytime soon. We can go it alone, as long as we remember to stick together. Uh, does that make any sense?"
"About as much sense as you can expect a ninja to make." Naruto grinned.
Gaara walked off the stage to meet them. Physically he'd recovered very quickly from, well, death. As a matter of fact, he was looking better than they'd ever seen him. "How was the speech?" He asked, impassively.
Naruto opened his mouth, but was beaten by a pink form flying past him and colliding with Gaara.
"You did amazing, darling!" Sakura said, draping herself over the Kazekage's left arm. "I'm so proud of you!"
"Thank you, Sakura." Gaara replied, wrapping the arm around her waist and smiling at her.
Naruto held up a finger and pointed between them. "Wait, is that...mutual?"
"I respect her determination, drive, dry wit and skill with medical ninjutsu." Gaara summarised. "Also she has a nice ass."
Kakashi choked.
"He's unfallibly polite, respectful and powerful." Sakura explained. "Also he has a nice ass."
Kankuro choked.
"Oh yeah, sorry Sasuke." Sakura turned to him with a scornful look. "But Gaara's actually nice to me, which is more than I ever got from you."
"What do you-" Naruto elbowed his best friend, and Sasuke recovered quickly, and made a sorrowful face, lowering his head respectfully towards her. "Right, I understand. I hope he makes you happy."
He turned around to Naruto and mouthed YES! with an ecstatic look on his face.
"You do realise we're gonna have to find you a girlfriend eventually, right?" Naruto checked in with his best friend.
"Eventually." Sasuke nodded. "Not now."
"That was a decent excuse back when we graduated but you're, what, fifteen now? And you've never even had a date."
"Oh like you're one to talk."
"Hey, my first crush turned out to be a dude. What do you think put me off Sakura? I'm never trusting anyone that flat ever again."
"You what-?" Sakura shouted-
"You had a what-?" Haku gasped-
Kakashi sighed as the two medics entered the heated debate, leaving him and the three sand siblings watching in amusement. "Does it make any sense that I've missed this?" He remarked to them.
Kankuro chuckled. "About as much sense as you can expect a ninja to make."
Fifth Hokage Tsunade put the mission report down and whistled. "Well, that was a rollercoaster."
"The Akatsuki traded two members for a jinchurikki. A jinchurikki one of them beat. They've failed, right?" Naruto asked, concerned.
"Treated on its own, this is a serious blow to them, yes." Tsunade admitted. "But if you look at the bigger picture..."
"It's not the first time they've gone Bijuu hunting." Kakashi frowned. "Naruto. Remember right after your chunin exams?"
"They went after the Kyuubi." Naruto gulped. "You think this is just step one?"
"I'll warn the other villages." Tsunade decided. "Lightning has the eight tails, Mist has the three, two's still under lock and key, but more than one of the jinchurikki are out of the hidden villages' control. We won't be able to warn them."
"We can protect me, though, and the nine tails can beat most of the others at once." Naruto pointed out, smugly, then winced when everyone looked at him, "Sorry. Kyuubi talking."
"You think they want all the beasts?" Haku asked. "What for?"
"The last person to hold all the Bijuu was Senju Hashirama, and he could have ruled the world if he'd fancied. Though he hardly needed them to do that..." Tsunade shrugged. "Whatever their reasoning, my sources say they're moving."
"We have sources?" Sasuke asked. "How do we have sources in the Akatsuki?"
Tsunade smiled, wryly. "Your brother just got back. I don't know how he does it, but he's not been wrong yet."
Itachi shuffled his cards.
"Do you have any fours?" Asked Neji's shadow clone.
Itachi sighed, and flicked one over. "This is no fun when you can see what's on my cards, asshole. Also, what's your murder club doing?"
"But we have more pressing concerns." Tsunade turned on Sasuke. "Namely, what you heard about Orochimaru."
The room fell silent, and the killing intent in the air went up by about fifty percent.
"We're not letting that slide, are we?" Naruto tried not to make it a threat, and failed.
"No chance." Tsunade rolled her shoulders. "I doubt I need to give you much in the way of instructions about this next one. I take it you all want to go?"
"Can't." Haku held a hand up apologetically. "Mei wants me back in Mist over the next few days. Something important, apparently. I can be the one to warn her about the Akatsuki?"
"Alright. I'll sort out a replacement. I'm sure I can scrounge up someone of your skill level." Tsunade agreed. "Any other concerns?"
"Uh; yeah, actually." Kakashi held up his hand. "One small problem-"
He promptly collapsed face first onto the carpet.
Tsunade sighed. "I suppose I'll also have to get you a new team captain."
Sasuke walked into the Uchiha living room, and sat down on the sofa. A few moments later, Itachi appeared in the doorway, and sat down next to him.
"Kakashi's Sharingan has the thing." Sasuke said, immediately.
"I know." Itachi replied.
"And you...don't care?"
"Your father actually decreed no harm was to come to him for having one." Itachi admitted. "Respect for his work in the war, maybe? Or just that Obito was such an embarrassment dad didn't want people thinking about him..."
"Who?"
"The guy Kakashi's Sharingan came from. Weak, even by regular ninja standards, though he was only a genin when he died."
"Well, either way, Kakashi can't use it very well." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "He used some space-time ninjutsu once, acted fine all the way back to Konoha, then faceplanted in Tsunade's office. Drama queen."
"Hmph." Itachi smiled. "I heard you killed one of the Akatsuki. How did that go?"
"Kankuro helped." Sasuke defended. "And...I had to use it to win."
Itachi's face fell. "One, or-"
"Both."
"That's not good."
"I know. In hindsight I should have kept Naruto with me, a few hundred shadow clones would have done me a lot of good, but apparently he was integral to beating Deidara, so..."
"You're alive." Itachi reassured. "That's all that matters. It's alright to use it as a crutch until you're strong enough without it, but...be careful. I'd rather you be able to see the candles on your eighteenth birthday."
Sasuke was forced to concede Itachi's point. He'd used his powers seven times total (hadn't even managed the Susanno yet) but comparing it to memories of his battle with Kimimaro, yeah, there was difference in clarity. His Sharingan still blew normal vision out of the water, but it was a scary thing.
"Not to mention now you're going after Orochimaru of all people." His elder brother continued. "Just remember-"
Itachi was interrupted as he broke out coughing.
Sasuke winced, patting his brother on the back. "You alright? That's getting worse."
"I'm-eugh-fine." Itachi shook his head. "Caught something nasty while I was scouting the-"
"That's what you said the last two times." Sasuke gave him a look. "Have you tried going to Tsunade about it?"
"Tried, sure." Itachi mumbled. He wiped some blood from the corner of his mouth and sighed. "Anyway. Good luck."
Itachi didn't quite vanish, more blurred out the door. If Sasuke had had his Sharingan on, he'd have been able to track it, no problem. He wasn't sure if that meant he was getting faster...or, worryingly, that his brother was slowing down.
He shook off the nasty thought as his father walked in through the door, a few seconds later. "Are you alright son? That was a nasty cough."
"I'm fine, dad." Sasuke stood up, smiling. "Must have caught something in Suna. Did you want help laying the table?"
"Hey Sai!"
The Root member, assassin, spy, torturer and otherwise bad egg turned around with a smile to see his boyfriend walking towards him. "Good morning, Haku."
The Mist native walked forwards and gave him a quick kiss, before leaning back with his hands in his pockets. "I hear you're replacing me on Team Kakashi. Or, well, I suppose it would be team 'Yamato' now. You know the other new guy?"
"ANBU captain, inherited the wood style somehow, experienced and talented." Sai listed off the things he was supposed to know. "We've worked together before. I think we'll do well."
Haku nodded, but something was obviously bothering him. "Hey, Sai. You know your dark master?"
Sai winced. "Please stop calling him that."
"Right, it's just..." Haku met his eyes. "There aren't any evil plans going on around this mission, right?"
And Sai said "No." You know, like a liar.
Haku sighed, visibly relieved, and Sai immediately felt like shit. "Thanks for reassuring me. I just...well, Sasuke and Naruto are my friends, you know? Actually," Haku's eyes took on a gleam. "Tell you what. If you pull off this mission successfully-" he leaned forwards and whispered something in Sai's ear.
The pale boy's eyes widened to the size of saucers and, for the first time in years, a full on blush appeared on his checks. "You'll-"
"Uh-huh." Haku grinned.
"How will you get Ino-"
"You know she'd jump at the chance to join in with that."
Sai coughed, and straightened his posture. "I...look forward to it."
"Great!" Haku clapped him on the shoulder and smiled. "Send me a letter when you all get back, okay?"
Sai watched him jump away. He wondered, not for the first time, if it was even possible to avoid this particular command from Danzo.
But there never had been before.
And now to forget Suna exists until the kage summit.
Kankuro finishes up his character arc of becoming less of a prick (better than canon, where he didn't have a character arc) and forces turn their eyes towards a perfectly innocent snake man in the woods. Sai is still feeling the massive overbearing guilt of being an evil murder child who works for a treacherous eye man, and Haku is still prettier than any of us will ever be. Up next, Tenshi Bridge Reconnaissance time! Also, Fuck the word reconnaissance.
Bloody french...
