Aftermaths 6: Petulance
Shimura Danzo sat at his desk, slowly and methodically working through paperwork. His was not the same as the Hokage's; for one, almost everything he wrote down would have to be burned before it ever left the room. He was in one of very few locations in Leaf he felt private enough to commit to ink his many plans.
Which was why it was a little surprising when the door got kicked off it's hinges.
He looked up slowly to see Uzumaki Naruto walk in, with a body over his shoulder and an expression on his face indicating he was 100% done.
"May I help you?" Danzo asked, calmly.
Naruto heaved the unconscious form of Yamato onto Danzo's desk with a loud thud.
"Control your minions better, asshole. And keep your dirty claws out of Sai." He shot, before walking back out the door. The forms of a few similarly knocked out Root operatives, (Danzo's guards) were lied in the corridor outside.
Danzo pushed Yamato off the desk, and went back to his paperwork.
Kakashi, sat in his hospital bed, looked up from his orange covered book to see a furious looking Naruto and Sasuke storm into his room.
"Those are the faces," He remarked, "of two ninja who have been quite thoroughly humbled."
"She kicked our asses." Naruto snarled.
"Destroyed us." Sasuke growled. "Fucking dismantled us."
"She?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow.
"Hinata." Naruto bit out, pacing. "I thought I'd gotten stronger. I was like 'yeah, I'm pretty good now'. And then she just finesses me and Sasuke at once!"
"Well as ninja, the best thing to do is evaluate the experience and see what you did wrong and what you can improve on." Kakashi offered, turning the page in his book.
"Gee, where did it go wrong?" Sasuke threw his hands into the air. "Maybe it was the part where she blocked the rasengan and the chidori at the same time!"
"Okay." Kakashi shrugged. "So how do you fix this mistake next time?"
"Get a bigger rasengan." Answered Naruto, at the same time as Sasuke replied "Get a bigger chidori."
Kakashi sighed. "I was hoping for something along the lines of 'learn to better yourselves, don't rest on your laurels, don't get too confident-"
"We're shadow clones." They both interrupted in unison.
"The real Naruto and Sasuke are off training." Sasuke said.
"That's not quite-"
"With Gai."
Kakashi shut his mouth. "Ah."
"IT IS ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE YOU!" Gai shouted, grinning from ear to ear as the pair approached him. "IF POSSIBLE, YOU HAVE GROWN EVEN MORE YOUTHFUL SINCE LAST WE MET! How may I help you?"
"We need training." Naruto explained.
"I am humbled by your request, but I'm certain that my great rival Kakashi could better-"
"Lee style training." Sasuke extrapolated.
There was a pause.
"You do know-"
"We know it will hurt. We don't care."
Anyone who knew Gai would tell you he didn't have a malicious bone in his body.
But his grin in that moment was a very scary thing.
"Well, now that you mention it..."
"Yikes." Kakashi remarked. He closed his book, and sat up in bed. "So. New jutsu. You are aware that the rasengan is A-rank, right?"
"Yeah. So we want something S-rank." Naruto replied, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Kakashi hummed. "Some people would call it unsafe to teach children techniques of that magnitude..." he got confused stares in return. "Yeah, I don't get it either. So!" He threw off the covers and stood up.
Sasuke blinked. "Aren't you still-"
"Oh I've been recovered for the last week, but while I'm in bed I get free food and Gai doesn't make me train with him." Kakashi smiled at them through his mask. "Now then, manifest a rasengan."
They quickly complied. Naruto held it out triumphantly. "Boom! Done. But I don't know what your plan is for Sasu...ke..." he turned his head.
Sasuke was holding out a swirling blue ball with a guilty expression.
"You can-" Naruto pointed a finger between Sasuke and his technique. "When did you learn the rasengan?"
The Uchiha coughed. "I'd like to say that it took me years of intense practice, but what actually happened was I watched Kakashi do it. Once."
"The Sharingan is bullshit." Naruto whispered, looking incredibly crestfallen.
"Tell me about it." Kakashi agreed, holding out his own rasengan. "Now then. This is the most powerful jutsu in my possession. The thing about it is that it's pure chakra and shape transformation; no yin, yang or elemental effects. As I imagine Jiraiya told you at some point, Naruto, the fourth Hokage developed this jutsu based off the bijuu bomb, and tried to apply a nature transformation to it. Keyword is 'tried'. He wasn't able to do it before he died in the Kyuubi attack."
"Didn't you-" Sasuke began to interrupt.
"I tried to apply Lightning release to it, but couldn't. I made the chidori by accident in the attempt, which is why I don't think that would make a good starting point. If you want a stronger jutsu, you'll have to succeed where me and the fourth failed. So no pressure."
"Fire." Sasuke decided, after a pause. "Lightning is Hinata's only element, and hers outclasses mine by a long shot. It's time I went back to my Uchiha roots."
"Wind." Naruto decided, soon after. "Because, uh, I don't have any other elements. And since Sasuke doesn't have wind, he won't be able to copy this one."
Kakashi chuckled. "I have to warn you, it won't exactly be easy. The fourth mastered the Flying Thunder God, but even he couldn't do this."
"Sensei has a point." Sasuke reminded his teammate. "I know you did the rasengan in a week, but you can't assume this is gonna be that simple. It's a bit of a stretch to think we'll be done before Hinata gets back."
Naruto nodded, thinking hard. "You have a point...but I think I know how we're going to do it."
"Oh yeah? How?"
Naruto looked his teammate dead in the eye, and uttered two words.
"Race you."
One second.
Two seconds.
And then both ninja vanished out the door.
Haku knocked on the door.
"Come in!" The response was immediate.
He sighed, braced himself, and entered.
"Haku! How are you!" Mei Terumi stood up immediately.
Haku winced and prepared himself as the woman stood up, walked around her desk and moved in for an incredibly sloppy kiss on his cheeks.
"You really do not need to do that every time you see me." Haku grit his teeth.
"Come on, you know you love it."
I really don't- Haku kept his expression under control. "What was it you needed, Ma'am? I was told it was important."
"Always straight to business with you, Haku. I like that in a man." Mei backed up and sat up on her desk, legs crossed. Her gaze darkened a little. "The Sanbi is gone."
Haku gulped. "The three tails? How?"
"An attack." Mei sighed. "After Yagura's...unfortunate accident, we moved the three tails to a new host. That host was killed not two weeks ago. We don't know who or why, the few surviving witnesses say they saw black cloaks with red clouds."
"That...is not good." Haku replied. "I have similar news from Konoha. The One tails was recently extracted from the Kazekage, only a few days before you lost the Three. Same culprits."
Mei grimaced. "The Kyuubi?"
"Safe, for now. But I'd hazard that they've already taken the two tails, maybe more. I just didn't think they'd move so fast..." Haku started pacing, stressed. "How's the six-tails?"
"Safe, for now." Mei echoed. "We have it's jinchurikki well under guard."
"Is that what you wanted me to help with?"
"Not at all." Mei stood up. "I want you on the hunt."
Haku blinked. "Wait, hunt? Wait, me?"
"I'd hate to stroke your ego, darling, but you're one of the strongest jonin in Mist right now." Mei purred. "And we aren't letting the people who did this get away with it. I want my bijuu back, and if possible I want the Ichibi and Nibi as compensation."
Haku blanched. "That's..." rude, immature, possibly a declaration of war, "bold. But I'm not sure it'll be that simple. We have no idea where the Akatsuki are keeping the bijuu, and every member we've encountered so far has been an S-class missing nin. Two of them laid siege to the whole of Suna. I'm not sure any squad fast enough to catch them will be strong enough to take them down. If you let me contact Konoha-"
"We don't need Konoha." Was what Mei said, but Haku heard 'I'm not sharing with Tsunade'. The Kage's smile turned sweet. "We have you!"
"With respect, ma'am, you might lose me."
"Well I doubt I have to tell you that risk is part of the job." Mei dismissed. "Of course I'd let you stay in Mist if you had a reason. If you felt an urge to settle down, perhaps."
Oh you sly, sly bitch.
This was not the first time Mei had tried to push something similar onto Haku. Nor the second, nor the fifth, not even the tenth. He wasn't sure which was worse, her trying to set him up with some stranger (who was obviously also not interested) or her coming onto him herself (where she was obviously much less turned on by him than she was by the idea of three different nature release bloodlines in their kids).
And now she was trying to threaten him into it with death. Wonderful.
Inner Zabuzza, what do I do? Haku asked.
Kill the Mizukage! Said inner Zabuzza.
Not helpful right now. Haku shot back.
"Not complaining Ma'am, just pointing it out." He said, aloud. "I'll go. But I'm taking the ANBU."
"You can have some jonin." Mei countered. "We only have a few ANBU left after that one time a guy in a mask came in and killed them all, and those are required to guard the six-tails."
"You know what? I'll just do it myself." Haku sighed, and squared his shoulders. "Brb." He bowed, turned on his heel, and stormed out of the office.
Deidara sat down heavily at bar, somewhere in some village or other.
"You look like shit." The bartender remarked.
"Oh yeah? Guess how I feel." Deidara gestured vaguely at something alcoholic, and the bartender chuckled and got to work. "Relax missy. You're not the first blonde lady to come in here looking like a train wreck. Although the last one was a lot bustier..."
"I'm not a-" Deidara scowled. "You know what? Whatever." He grabbed the glass when it was passed to him.
"Blondes, am I right?" Sighed the figure in an orange mask sat to his left.
"Yeah, tell me about it." Deidara sighed back.
Then he almost jumped out of his chair.
"What the-who the-fucking-Tobi?"
"'Sah dude." Tobi replied.
"Why the hell are you here?" Deidara hissed, looking around.
Tobi was sat there in full Akatsuki uniform, but nobody seemed to particularly care. He gasped. "Senpai, you didn't miss me?"
"Miss you-we've never met in person!"
"Well I missed you." Tobi admitted, looking down dejectedly. Deidara didn't know how he looked dejected in the mask, but he was doing it. "Before today I lied awake at night, thinking of you, hoping that one day-"
"Alright, I get it!" Deidara shuddered. "I, uh, missed you too. But seriously, why are you here?"
"Uh, duh?" Tobi kicked his feet up on the bar. The bartender glared at him, but didn't push it. "Starting today, I am your new partner!"
Deidara paled. "No."
"Yep."
"No."
"Uh-huh."
"No."
"Aww; why not? I asked for you specifically!"
"I-" Deidara grimaced. "You know what? Whatever. Just-just stay out of my way, okay?"
"No problemo! I will be like a ghost in the night. You won't even see me, it'll be like I'm some sort of ninja!"
"Some sort, yeah." Deidara was figuratively shitting bricks. Nobody knew anything about Tobi. Like, anything. One day, Pain had showed up with this masked lunatic trailing behind him, said that he was part of the Akatsuki now, and that had been that. And now he was focusing his madness on Deidara. Great. "Alright, fine. Our next target is the Sanbi, it lives somewhere in hidden Mist-"
"Nah I already took care of that."
"...what?"
"Yeah Mist was on the way here so I already sealed the three tails. He was cool, had all these spiky bits-"
"You already...right, okay." Deidara gulped. Nobody had ever seen Tobi fight, either. "So what are we doing now?"
"Well, bigboss Pain gave me two jobs to do on the way back. One, he wanted me to stop for groceries, and two, call in with his ex."
"...what?" Deidara wasn't sure how many times he'd said that in the last five minutes, but it was still appropriate.
"Orochimaru." Tobi explained, brightly. "We're going to go assassinate him."
Hinata knocked on the door, and upon hearing a bored "Enter." she opened it and walked through.
"Hinata, dear. Good to see you." Orochimaru smiled. He was currently sat in bed, with a drip attached to his arm. "How was the moving process?"
"Tolerable." Hinata shrugged. "Any dank cave can be home if it's where your heart is."
"Quite." Orochimaru chuckled, though it turned into a cough. Kabuto, stood in the corner of the room fiddling with chemicals, immediacy rushed over, but Orochimaru waved him off, limply. "I'm fine, Kabuto. Calm down."
"You're not." Hinata remarked, calmly. Her Byakugan traced briefly across his vitals. "Those arms are getting worse. How bad was your fight with Naruto?"
"Bad." He admitted, with a scowl. "Your old teammate's tennant is remarkably powerful. And with most of my jutsu sealed, I was unable to effectively corral it."
"And when you use your snake-body techniques, it accelerates the...decay." Hinata winced. Her master's arms had started turning purple again.
"Indeed." He admitted. A moment later though, he brightened. "But let us not speak of such dreary things. I have much better news for you."
"Oh?" Hinata tilted her head.
"Oh yes." Orochimaru smiled. "You'll like this one. I think I know how to awaken the Gokei."
Well, this was late, and im sorry about that, but there's an annoyingly low amount of wifi on fuertaventura. I wonder if any of you are here? That'd be wild, knowing someone was posting fanfiction within a few miles of you but not knowing who they were...
Anyway, I'll see you next week!
