The festivities were overwhelmingly crowded, as usual. The smell of Moonberry wine was filling the air, paired with the subtle notes of dwarven ale. Bonfires were lit, and various people, from every race that the alliance had, were drunkenly dancing and laughing around them. Every single piece of structure and building was decorated with flowers, ribbons, and all kinds of colorful baubles. Vendors were shouting over the loud clamoring of the crowd, their voices raspy from useless screaming, selling their wares and taking food orders.
Kyra's lip was in a thin line, her eyes darting from side to side. Her heart was thumping in her chest as her gaze scouted the vast gathering. Crowds were not her cup of tea, and surely the naive and careless joy of the festival-goers were not to her liking. In this kind of grand commotion, you never knew what to expect. An unsettling feeling made its room inside her chest, slowly gripping her throat with its invisible claw. The entire celebration kind of felt like a battlefield, except that it wasn't one. She hated that feeling.
She took a deep breath, as she decided she was going to step into the chaos. Not because she wanted, but because she had to. And with a low, annoyed growl, she took one step.
"Oh my, who do we have here?" a familiar voice exclaimed, too close to her for her comfort, making her jump slightly in surprise.
"I hate it." Kyra retorted before she could control her wording. She looked at the owner of the voice and rolled her eyes.
Sivera Lightray let out a loud string of laughs.
"Of course you do! You look mighty funny dressed like that! In full armor at such unofficial gathering. But, I have to admit, I expected no less from you!"
Kyra simply crossed her arms on her armored chest.
"I don't want to be here...It makes me want to throw up..."
"I know, honey, I know" Sivera approached her and snaked an arm around her shoulders, squeezing lightly and playfully her friend's arm, much to the warrior's surprise.
"What say you if we go, get a drink and pick a fight with someone?"She gently nudged her friend, forcing her to start walking beside her, towards the crowd.
Kyra swore quietly under her breath but nodded in response anyway. Sivera squeezed her arm tighter for a brief second, giggling.
"Perfect!" Sivera announced in an uncalled loud tone "I saved a seat for you in a fairly quiet corner."
Kyra grunted.
"You sound like an old dwarf bartender"
"Who knows, maybe I am." Sivera patted her shoulder. " I am very versatile, my dear friend!" she looked at the warrior, and a sad smile spread across her features."We have a lot to catch up on, my dear friend!"
And with this, the two women walked next to each other, as the odd pair they were. One in full armor, with her backpack strapped tightly on her shoulders, seemingly ready for departure, and the other one in a simple white silk gown.
Yet they both shared awfully similar traumas. It was the very thing that united them, yet they never discussed it.
The secluded place that Sivera mentioned was indeed, far from the crowd. Placed near a dwarven ale stand, the table was dirty and greasy, a half-burned fat candle was reigning in the middle of it, as some sort of decoration. Few people were there, mostly because no one particularly liked dwarven ale this time of the year. Most of the festival-goers went for Moonbery wine or other kinds of weak beverage. Plus, most of them wanted to stay sober as contests were taking place, and everyone wanted big prizes.
Kyra looked at the bench next to the table, and her lip curled in disgust. The seat was even filthier than the table. Long, dark streaks of caked, sticky grime were covering the wooden surface. She was not usually the one to complain about a bit of dirt or dust, as she was a soldier, pretty much used to even dirtier and uglier things. But there was something about filthy, sweaty, and drunk partygoers that deeply disgusted her.
Sivera seemed to catch Kyra's disgust and chuckled. The warrior rolled her eyes and sat down.
"Stay right here. I'll be back with some ale" Sivera smiled and turned on her heels, disappearing around the corner of the wooden makeshift tent.
Kyra scouted her surroundings. One thing that she hated about crowds and large gatherings was the lack of control. You could be invaded by an alien army and you would be oblivious to it. The loud, drunken sound of laughs, singing, and voices would drown even the loudest call to battle. Or, more trivial, you never knew what kind of people you would bump into. And she never liked small talk or meeting new people, just for the sake of it.
She looked in the distance and saw the stage being assembled by busy workers, and felt her skin crawl. Soon, Tyrande will get up on that stage, and charm the community once more with her carefully prepared speech.
She will announce her annual pardons, and this time Kyra will be one of the few forgiven. In theory, this will mean she will have access to a higher ranking job than that of a Sentinel, and it will mean that all of her rights as a night elf will be restored.
If only this grand gesture could erase people's memory and shut up the filthy mouths that ran rumors. If only this formality would make everything right, turn back time, and change the past. If only this speech will heal the ever bleeding wounds...If only.
"As promised!"
Sivera slammed two giant tankards on the table with a wide smile on her face, some of the amber liquid splashing the dirty table.
"Two now, more to come if we feel like it. I and I have a feeling we will need more tonight" Sivera sat on the wooden bench, struggling for a second with her dress, and grabbed one tankard with a steady hand.
"Very "ladylike" from my part" she winked towards Kyra "You'll have to...You know...To drink..." she smiled, one of her hands pointing towards the warrior's face.
She had to remove her faceguard.
Kyra nodded and shifted uncomfortably in her seat for a second. She looked around at the patrons, and no one seemed to pay them any attention. As a matter of fact, half of them were so drunk that if a full-fledged dragon would land next to them, they would not notice it nor remember the encounter the next day. She took a deep breath, lowered her gaze, and slowly started to work on the slippery back clasps of her faceguard. Her hands felt sweaty and her heartbeat started to increase its pace. She took another barely audible breath and steadied herself.
The cool night air caressed her face, a feeling she was not used to. It felt strange like she lost a protective bubble that used to follow her all the time. She carefully placed the faceguard on the table. She hesitantly raised her eyes to meet Sivera.
The woman had a strange smile on her face. The warrior felt her gaze tracing her features, uncomfortable resting - for just a split second - on her scar. She knew that look. That smile was fabricated and a mile away from being honest. That smile was covering the awkwardness of the situation and the dodging of a question that was on everyone's mind.
But in Sivera's case was something more. Guilt. Guilt covered by a trained, untruthful smile.
Kyra met her gaze with an icy stare, one that had no place in this friendly situation. Her stare made the other woman's smile vanish for a split second.
But Sivera did not earn her diplomatic reputation without merit. Immediately her half of a second scared expression was replaced with another smile, forged specifically for friends and acquaintances.
"Let's celebrate, let's drink!" she announced giddily, in a light tone, meant to dissipate the tension. She raised her tankard with one swift and steady movement. "To us, and to the ones that are no longer here, but are the reason for us standing!"
Kyra smiled and nodded. She grabbed her mug with her gloved hand and raised it to her lips. Her nostrils were filled in an instant with the fruity - sweet smell of the ale, making her thirsty. She pressed the cool mug to her lips and drank hungrily. The drink was slightly bitter but cooling at the same time, sliding down her throat with no effort, leaving behind a strong liquor taste in her mouth.
She and Sivera slammed their empty tankards on the table at the same time.
"Still got your edge, Moongaze" she smiled as she wiped her mouth" Another one?"
Kyra waved her hand in disapproval.
"Let's wait for a second, might need my clear head soon"
"I retract my words" Sivera laughed out loud.
Kyra smiled. She felt slightly lightheaded – not drunk, necessarily – but more relaxed than usual. She let her backrest against the bench backboard, exhaling loudly, her legs sprawled in front of her, under the table.
"I always admired you, you know" Sivera smiled towards the warrior, her tone unusually calm. Kyra's brow shot up, genuinely surprised by her drinking partner's sudden confession. She shot her an amused and curious look.
"Oh...How so?"
"Well," Sivera continued, seemingly deep in her thoughts "Firstly you are ...I don't know how to put it" she tapped her finger on the table, her mind racing to find the word "... Relentless. Yes, that is the word. Relentless."
Kyra laughed out loud. The sound of it took the other woman by surprise, and she looked visibly annoyed.
"I would hardly call myself that, Sivera..."
"Don't mock me, Moongaze. I am being serious. For once. "
Kyra made a short gesture with her hands, apologizing
"Go on..."
"My admiration for you wasn't without merit, might I add. It was always fascinating for me that nothing ever stopped you. This is why you had the job that you had as a Warden, I guess. I could've never brought myself to do it. Truth be told, I know no other person that could've done what you did. "
"You mean torturing prisoners?"
Kyra's cold tone made Sivera roll her eyes. She shook her head and shot Kyra a scolding look, clicking her tongue in disbelief.
"You are still not supposed to say it out loud, Moongaze. It is still frowned upon. But as usual, you are you and you are doing whatever you want. But, just...refrain from mentioning it to other people..."
"Why? You think it will damage your reputation if anyone heard?"
Kyra's glacial tone and cutting stare made Sivera frown and defiantly meet her gaze.
"Why would you even say this?... Of course, you would say that, what was I thinking - complimenting you..." she let out an audible sigh "We did what we had to, at that time. Many of us regret it. But we all believed in her quest. It was ours as well. We all thought that we were doing the right thing. Now, after hiding for so long, some of us decided to live again in the public eye"
"The few, that are still alive..."
Sivera let out a loud sigh, plopped her elbows on the table, and cupped her face, shaking her head
"Oh, Elune..." she added in a low tone, hiding her eyes from her drinking partner. "Can't you let a thing or two slide? I know...Trust me...I share your feelings... I even gloated in happiness when you attacked Maiev. I only intervened when others did...My knuckles were aching, to be honest...I never condemned your decision. Not now, not then...I swear, I even pondered on leaving the Wardens myself, but unlike you, somehow, I could not bring myself to do it."
Sivera finally raised her eyes to meet Kyra's gaze. The warrior scoffed.
"Ah...the Diplomat..."
"Don't be like that..." The priestess added in a pleading tone "I held you back then, at the meeting, for your own good..."
"It always seemed odd to me, you know..." Kyra uttered in a low voice, leaning against the table. "Everyone pretends as nothing happened...We can move on with our lives, traumas and all like the past hundred years were just a bad dream? Why am I the only one that has a problem with that?"
"You know very well why. You never let anything go, and once you set your mind on something, there is no turning back for you. I trust you with my life in battle, but you are difficult to befriend, Moongaze. You burn bridges and never come back. Me...and the others...We need to keep all kinds of doors open...We need those bridges...You know that..."
Kyra scoffed once more and looked in the distance, at the preparation going on stage. Some Sentinels and guards were arranging themselves on every side of it, proof that Tyrande will be soon to follow. That entire, pointless ceremony made her stomach turn and she hissed low in her throat.
"Well," Sivera smiled, looking towards the stage herself " You will soon be pardoned, and all will hopefully be in the past. For once. And for the love of all that is sacred...Please be civil. Just this one time..."
Kyra looked down at the dirty table, one gloved finger tracing a drop of ale that she spilled earlier. On the wooden surface, the liquid looked like oil. Maybe it was oil, given that the dwarves never shared their secret recipe for their ale. She toyed with the drop of liquid, drawing a circle with it on the table, absently.
" What are you up to?"
The worried tone on Sivera made Kyra look up. The priestess's brow was furrowed, she felt that there was something on the warrior's mind, something that was eluding everyone else. She knew Kyra well enough to draw a simple conclusion – she might do the unexpected.
"You are going to do some stupid shit, aren't you?" Sivera asked in a hushed tone, anger and worry coloring her tone. Her eyes were narrow, and they looked like they were about to pierce the mind and soul of the person in front of her.
"Moongaze..." she added in a threatening tone."Whatever it is, I can't let you do it..."
Kyra smirked, and turned her gaze towards the spilled ale on the table, tracing its slowly evaporating shape with her gloved finger.
"Who asked you to talk to me?"
Her gaze met Sivera's, defiantly. A smirk adorned her dimly lit face. The smile was bitter, disappointment coloring her words. The priestess's expression remained contained, not a flicker of doubt or worry shading her stern expression.
"I am talking to you of my own volition, no one asked me..."
"Cut the crap, Sivera... For a seasoned diplomat, you are very bad at lying."
A moment of pure silence descended upon them, letting only the drunken partygoer's laughs waste in the background. The priestess smirked as well like a kid caught lying. She shook her head and exhaled loudly. Her stance relaxed, and for the first time since they sat at the table, she was not playing diplomatic games.
"Shandris asked me."
Her tone was even. Not a single note of hesitation could be heard. Kyra smiled and clicked her tongue.
"So you chose to become their pet."
"Now, now..." Sivera's tone became menacing. "I am not judging you for being a stubborn fool, so refrain from judging my choices." She clenched her fists. "I need a home, Kyra...I am tired of running and hiding..."
"I see..."
Silence threw its cover over them one more time. Their eyes met. Invisible daggers were exploding from both of their gazes, aimed towards the other, in an absurd, playful contest for supremacy of this particular conversation. Kyra's features were lit by a strange smile that would send shivers to anyone's spine. She lowered her gaze, slowly towards the spilled ale on the table, leaving the other woman to watch her every movement.
"You know, Sivera, something kept bothering me. I could not put my finger on it. Months of torment, and I did not know what it was." She started in a barely audible tone. "Remember...Illidan's prison escape?"
The priestess's gaze darkened, her eyes narrowing. She was taken by surprise. Out of all the scenarios she imagined for this conversation, none of them was this. Her previous stern posture disappeared, and a shadow of worry was looming over her now
"Yes...?" she uttered cautiously
"Well..." Kyra continued " Funny thing," Kyra smiled ". That day I had something to do urgently for my mother, so I asked for permission to leave, and Merideyl replaced me. That day, she died there, alongside others. It could've been me, of course. Or you. Or any other. By Tyrande's hand. To free Illidan. She killed them, to free the one she would later condemn. Isn't that funny?"
"Yes, but you know why she did it..." Sivera whispered under her breath, low tones of anger emerging from her phrase.
"Let me finish."Kyra's glacial tone shut down Sivera's weak vocal protest. "Then, the Tomb happened. Naisha is under that rubble. Alongside others that we used to call sisters. Sisters... And Maiev's cold judgment to leave them behind raised my first question: Are we following Illidan for the greater good or Maiev's pride?"
"Moongaze...You know that Naisha insisted..."
"I am not done, Sivera..."Kyra raised her arm in the air, without looking at the other woman. The gesture alone made Sivera swallow her words "We lost some in Outland . " she continued, her voice getting raspy and menacing "I do not remember much of the details, but... I do remember their pale faces and bleeding frames. And still, we left them there, to rot. All of them died without a proper burial. Rotting unknown corpses under the scorching sun of Outland. I felt displaced, disoriented, uneasy. Without a proper plan, we were grasping at the straws of Maiev's initiative. For me, things lost their meaning...Until we captured that demon hunter and I got the order..."
"That demon hunter killed some of our sisters..."
"He defended himself. From us." Kyra's gaze met Sivera's. The warrior's face was contorted with anger, her lips in a thin line." We attacked him, Sivera. But the problem was, we all knew him. From before. We all saw his sorrow when he joined forces with Illidan. We all knew what he lost. He was doing nothing wrong to us, to our people. He only wanted to avenge his family, to destroy the Burning Legion from within. And I got the order to torture him. To find information, a weak spot, and if things don't work, to kill him." She shook her head and plopped her frame onto the backrest of the wooden bench. " I could not bring myself to do it. For the first time, I could not ... And that was the moment a second question popped into my head: are we in the wrong? "
"Moongaze, stop it... You are treading on dangerous grounds right at this moment...you know, you know it very well that you are in the wrong now." Sivera's tone was pleading
"Resenting forever what happened, won't bring you peace. We all made mistakes. The important thing is to learn to live with them, and whenever possible, repair the damage. And you know, that for many people you are responsible for the deaths at the Black Temple. For some, you are their Maiev"
Kyra scoffed and shook her head in disbelief.
"Rich of you to assume that the situation is that simple. Maiev doesn't have to prove anything to get pardoned. Besides, murder is not a mistake."
"Moongaze...Stop it..." Sivera's tone was slightly menacing this time. "You are hellbent on not moving on. No one can help you if you do not choose to give up those tormenting thoughts."
"Maybe I don't want to. Maybe one of us doesn't have to."
Sivera slammed her fist on the table, making Kyra's brow shoot up and meet the priestess's gaze. Tears could be seen in the priestesses' eyes, the candlelight flicker reflecting a frantic dance in them.
"Stop it..." she whispered." You are carrying the memory of all of our dead on your shoulders. They will be everywhere you go, clouding your judgment, plaguing your thoughts, making you half alive, bringing you to the brink of madness." Tears escaped her eyes, rolling down her cheeks, but she wiped them with a fast gesture.
" Kyra..." she murmured, her voice trembling " They died in a war. A war... They died believing in something, they died for something. I was prepared to die as well. Weren't you?"
The warrior let out an audible exhale, feeling her own eyes begin to sting, as traitorous tears were gathering in the corner of her eyes, and she desperately tried to hold them back. She closed her eyes shut
"I was prepared to die. Until I saw what death looked like."
Sivera scoffed.
"Damn you, Moongaze..." she lightly shook her head. "And here I am thinking that for once, you would accept the normal course of life, some rules, some advice..." she smiled bitterly. "But you would rather set yourself on fire than take a step back from your principles. That crap that goes around, wreaking havoc in your head."
"I do not belong here, Sivera."
Silence descended once more upon them like a light fog. The invisible weight of the words spoken by the warrior brought an unexpected heaviness to the conversation. Sivera's features darkened, as the realization of the true meaning behind the warrior's words dawned on her. She quickly leaned over the table, hastily whispering.
"Are you...Really?." Sivera's murmured in a hushed tone "You heard Tyrande..." she shook her head "You know what this means...You will be banished. And for what? I don't even get it!".
"See?" Kyra smiled "You don't get it. If you can't get it, a witness to all those events, a sister in arms, what can I expect from the common folk of Darnassus?"
Sivera leaned closer over the table, adding in a hushed tone, through her teeth:
"Why the fuck do you need their approval? You get your pardon, you move on. Who cares what they think?"
"No, Sivera...I don't need a pardon. If I need one, so do you...Or Maiev...Or Tyrande... Aren't we all murderers?"
Another short, painful pause that seemed like an eternity dawned on them, making the gap between the two former sisters in arms even bigger. At that moment, it felt like their souls, forged together by battle and sisterhood changed irreversibly, becoming strangers. In that pause, in that very moment, they drifted apart. Forever.
"Do whatever you want to do." Sivera's calm tone flew through the silence between them, cutting it with a conclusion they both knew, but none was brave enough to say out loud. "You understand that I can't, I...I am sorry..."
Kyra nodded and smiled towards the priestess.
"I know...Go... "
Sivera rose hesitantly from her chair, visibly distressed. She locked her gaze with Kyra, and small tears were reflecting the candlelight in her beautiful amber eyes.
"You are one of a kind, Moongaze." She smiled bitterly as she arranged her robes. " I wish I was like you, in a way. On the other hand, becoming like you would be my biggest nightmare."
Their smiles slowly faded, making room for something more serious, a heavy feeling that confirmed that they will side on opposite sides of an issue. That their common ground was a tiny piece of land, where they both agreed on their mutual hate of Maiev. And as Sivera slowly departed from their table, Kyra knew that there was no coming back.
