1st September 2022 -Hogwarts

James potter II

It was the first day back at Hogwarts and, to James, nothing felt the same. Everything looked the same, the horseless carriages, sweeping hills, majestic castle and homicidal tree. But it just wasn't the same, nothing felt right to James, not since he'd been released from hospital.

James had pretended while he was at home that everything was fine, that nothing had changed. He had took special measures to act like normal, tease Albus, tweak Lily's nose and plot with Freddie. But no matter how much he tried he still didn't feel right.

He couldn't shake the disturbing feeling even though he kept telling himself to buck up and stop acting like a Frankie first year. At home it was easy, there was the seclusion of his room. Her,e he just knew that pretending would be far more difficult. Hogwarts just had that way about it. At home, everyone had been painfully normal, no one had asked how he was feeling (fine) no one had asked him if he was okay and, especially, no one had stared at him. Not that James had never been stared at before, he was a Quidditch hero and he had the-father-who defeated-the-dark-lord for a dad. Staring was normal. This staring wasn't. He'd only been back with these people for less than a day and they were regarding him with either sympathy or suspicion. He didn't like it. He liked attention for when he'd done something cool, not for surviving a terrorist attack. Especially when half of them seemed to think his dad had something to do with it. His cousins had rallied round; Fred jinxing anyone who made a comment; and they blocked the onlookers, but that only seemed to make it worse. Even his own family thought he couldn't handle it.

As he got off the carriage, he averted his eyes to the floor, burning with intense rage. He wondered if this is how his father had felt while he was at school. The thought of his father calmed him slightly, his dad was never ruffled (except for his hair) and he could deal with looks probably better than the Queen! His dad wouldn't stare at the floor he thought with a surge of anger.

James squared his shoulders and stood straight, head high against the onslaught of looks. Someone squeezed his hand and he looked down and saw Maddy, her blonde hair bouncing as they walked. She let go quickly but it didn't matter, her affection bolstered him and James knew that he could remain standing tall. He felt Fred step beside him, his shoulder brushing against his. He was aware of his other friends standing close, but not like before- this was in solidarity. Together they walked into the hall and sat down at the long table.

The candles glittered above them and James sighed in relief, he was here, he was back. He was safe. James looked up at the imposing table at the front of the hall. He caught Neville's eye and winked over dramatically causing the professor to laugh so hard he spat out his juice. James turned to Proffessor Cleese, who sat beside his head of house, she was much younger but had taught James since his third year. She had straight blonde hair a bony face and eyes that could stare a hole in a wall. Although she'd taught him for ages, James still thought she was rather intimidating. She was one teacher that James had vowed to never find the invisible line with.

He then looked towards the headmistress, Professor Sinistra. She sat in robes of pale blue, almost like the sky and she observed the students with a soft smile, she caught his eyes and James beamed; they knew each other pretty well by now. James had been in her office at least once of month since the start of his first year. She rolled her eyes at him but smiled just the same.

The staff at the school hadn't changed in years. Neville- or Professor Longbottom as James had to call him- taught Herbology and had done for at least ten years. Flitwick (James favourite teacher- apart from Neville of course) still taught charms, James' favourite subject and the one in which he excelled. Defence against the dark Arts was a subject which James found tricky- to his eternal shame. His dad was a prodigy, but James had always found it hard- it didn't help that it was taught by Zabini, the Slytherin Head of House. Zabini was alright, James supposed, but he was almost impossible to please and James found it hard to concentrate in his lessons. Over the holidays, James had debated (mostly in his head) whether he should drop it but a nagging voice in the back of his head (that sounded a lot like his dad) told him not to. James had decided eventually that he wanted to take Charms (obviously), Potions, Herbology, Transfiguration and DADA for his NEWTs. James was sullenly aware that those were the exact subjects his dad had intended to take. Of course, his dad had never even sat the exams since he was off fighting dark lords.

James first week was awful. He'd heard Teddy moan about NEWTs, Merlin, even Dom had muttered a few curse words about them, but he hadn't actually realised how much harder they were than OWLs. James felt like he was suffering a constant headache from the stress of it all and after two lessons it had become apparent that taking DADA was a mistake. He hadn't managed to do a single spell correctly and it was driving him mad. Maddy had softly suggested that he request to change subject but James couldn't do that- not with his dad so excited about it all.

James sat down with a 'plonk' in Zabini's class, the man hadn't entered yet and the others were just taking their seats. James could feel his stomach clench with anxiety, knowing that every time he failed people would notice, especially Zabini with his glittering eyes and sneer. Zabini strode in, he was wearing a finely made robe made of soft green silk, his dark complexion looking fierce. "From now you will not be sat in these seats," he said stiffly glancing round the room at the Gryffindors sat on the left with two Hufflepuffs and seven Ravenclaws whilst the Slytherins sat on their own at the right side of the room. "I'm pairing you up, you will be working with a partner to practice your spells and write your essays. I will not have any complaining. You will go with who you are paired with, anyone who feels that this is unsatisfactory can see the headmistress." James could feel dismay fill the room, not only did they have to partner up they also had to work with them outside oflessons.

He called them all to the front and slowly paired them up. James was hoping beyond hope that he would be paired with someone he knew, not a Slytherin. Not that there was anything wrong with Slytherins, Roxie was a snake and he liked her… it was he just didn't want them to know just how bad he was at this subject.

"Alison Higgs and James Potter," James' eyes darted up to the girl in question. He didn't really know her very well except that she was quiet and a snake of course. She gave him a small smile and together they sat down.

Very quickly, James realised her skills were far superior to his. He could also sense her growing frustration at being paired with him. They were currently practising non-verbal skills, but no matter how much James tried he simply couldn't do it. His face was turning red from the effort and he felt like he was close to passing out when the girl besides him sighed heavily and tapped him on the shoulder to stop him.

"Look, Potter you need to treat it like a normal spell. Do everything the same but think the words." She had of course been able to do it the first time.

"Thanks," James muttered rolling his eyes. He was pretty sure that was obvious advice. Wasn't that what he was already blood doing?

She frowned at him, "Look trust me, you are over complicating this. Just relax."

He sighed before trying to do as she said. To his surprise, he could feel the magic and, although it was not nearly as powerful as verbally, it did manage to half explode the apple in front of him. He stared at the apple and then the girl with wide eyes and a slack jaw. Had he actually managed to do something in Defence?

"Not too bad, Potter." She said, nodding towards his apple, "Just keep practising."

"Cheers Higgs." A true grin lit up his face as he turned to his apple with new determination. Maybe, he did it have it in him to pass Defence this year. Maybe he didn't have to be a complete disappointment to his father.

He was still struggling with what had happened in the alley. He could feel himself tense everytime it was mentioned and he struggled to control the flinch caused by loud noises. He hated himself for being so weak. He kept his mouth closed and shoved everything down. The days weren't as hard for James, he had his friends and his work and his distractions. It was the evening where he could feel everything falling apart. Sleeping, it seemed, was the major issue.

The clock chimed, the bell echoing dimly through the unlit room. James sat propped up against the tantalising cushions of his bed, his book open -yet unread- before him. His back was ramrod straight; he stared off into the distance, lost in the crawling horrors of his mind. He had pulled his hangings half shut and had long since dimmed his wand. He couldn't sleep but he also couldn't escape the horrors his mind liked to replay at this hour.

James wasn't new to nightmares, but since his 'accident' they tended to be far more violent. Booms echoed through his dreams, causing mayhem and destruction.

Sometimes it was WWW and he scrabbled back through the dirt, grime, death and destruction to find his broken family. Unearthing a flame of red hair, and two unseeing brown eyes…

He shuddered.

"Mate," a voice whispered through the darkness, the slap of bare feet against the stone floor echoing across the still room. Fred approached his friend slowly like you would a wild animal. "Jimmy, are you okay?" he asked delicately. James, who was physically trembling in his bed, couldn't bring himself to lie. He shook his head, tears falling softly from his eyes. "Come here," Fred said comfortingly, "Scoot up." Fred pushed his way onto the bed and pulled his unresisting cousin into his gangly arms. "It's okay," he whispered into his closest friends ear. "It's okay. They stayed like that for hours, Fred murmuring reassurances and by morning, James could feel the old him approaching.

Over the next few weeks James could feel himself regaining his normalcy. He still felt shaken by the events in Diagon Alley but at least he was now moving past them. Another change was that James was actually trying in lessons- a change that surprised even his teachers. While James had always been bright, he'd never really applied himself except in charms and he had always scraped by in Defence. However, being paired with Higgs had changed that. They worked together in the library or empty classrooms- Higgs demanded perfection, she wanted to succeed in defence and James didn't want to disappoint. She'd coached him on the basics, gone over and over rudimentary skills until he was miles better than he'd ever been before, if only he could take his OWL again, he'd have an outstanding. James couldn't figure Higgs out, though. They spent an evening or two a week together but they never spoke about anything other than the work they were doing. He knew she was a Slytherin (Obviously) and that she had an older brother (she'd mentioned it when James pointed out a seventh year Slytherin that was glaring at them) but apart from that they really knew nothing about each other.

"No, Potter- you're doing it again!" Higgs exclaimed in exasperation, grasping his wand arm to stop his frantic movements. James raised her eyebrow at her and stared pointedly at his arm, she dropped it in haste. "You are twisting your arm too much, you need to be light, delicate with these sort of defence skills- not just jabber your arm around." This was a conversation they'd had more than once these past few days and they were both at the end of their tether. Higgs liked to get in front of the rest of the class so she was making Potter practice spells that the class wouldn't be covering till next week. Why? James had no idea.

"James, Higgs. Just call me James." She startled slightly, staring at him in confusion, "You shout at me that much you might as well call me James."

"Call me Alison," She smiled softly at him. James just couldn't fathom her, she was shy and yet oh so bossy, he didn't understand her and he wasn't sure he even liked her. But somehow she had become important to him in some strange way. He certainly spent more time practising with her than he did hanging out with his own family in the common room... Something he knew that Fred wasn't happy with, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to do well this year, and he finally felt like he could. He didn't know what he wanted to do with his life after Hogwarts, but he knew he didn't want his options limited because of his own lack of work ethic, and if it made his dad proud, was it actually so bad? Still, it's not like Fred was missing him too much seeing as every night James had seen him recently he'd had a different girls tongue down his throat.

"Nice to meet you, Alison," James said with a small grin, "So, is defence your favourite subject?" James asked curiously, watching as she wrote notes from the large tome in front of her.

"No, and it isn't potions either," she said with a teasing grin, James flushed slightly realising that she knew how much he had stereotyped the Slytherins in the past. She took pity on him, sighing before answering, "I prefer Herbology, but I've always been good at defence. My dad," she paused licking her lips and pushing her hair behind her ear, "He always made me practice before I started here."

"Why?" James asked curiously, strangely enamoured with the way her hair shifted as her fingers ran through it.

"He's a bit weird like that. He wanted me to be able to defend myself, he was the same with my brother." As she spoke about her brother, her nose wrinkled and James sensed that the two, perhaps, didn't get on as much as James did with his family.

"Ah, you'd think that my dad would teach me, but no. He said he had faith in the education system." He frowned at that but was surprised when Alison snorted. He stared at her incredulously.

"What? Seems like he's a funny guy."

"He likes to think so, you should hear his dad jokes." Alison laughed for real this time and James liked the way it made her face light up, she looked freer than he'd ever seen her before and it was a good change. She looked at the clock and smiled apologetically he as she gathered her things together.

"I best go before curfew. Night James." He bid his goodnight and watched her leave, confused to why he was so interested in her when he hadn't even known who she was mere weeks ago. Distracted, it took him a couple of minutes to realise that she'd left her jacket on the chair. He quickly gathered his things, determined to catch her before she reached the dungeons. He raced down to where he knew the Slytherin rooms lie, wanting to make sure he caught her and still had time to reach his own dormitory before curfew.

James skidded round the corner to the dungeons and came to sudden stop when he heard loud voices down the corridor. James stopped and looked around wearily before grasping his wand and shifting his bag until it was out of the way. He peaked round the corner.

Further down the corridor a large boy with a beaters physique was pressing a girl against the wall while he held his arm other her throat, whispering menacingly at her. James wasn't close enough to see who they were but the chestnut hair and the fact that he'd been mere seconds behind Higgs left no doubt in his mind to who it was. James paused, he wanted to rush out and defend her but if he'd got Higgs pegged right (and he thought he did) she would a) be mightily pissed off if she knew he'd seen her like this and b) was strong enough and powerful enough to fend off any attacker, he could see that her wand was in her hand. She should have blasted him back by now, and she hadn't. Which in James' mind this meant that she knew the guy who was whispering so close to her, in an embrace that spoke of violence and power. He had the same colour hair as her and with a thud it struck him that it could only be her brother.

Struck with indecision James flapped, did he attack? Did he trust this girl he barely knew to handle a situation that she was obviously familiar with? He dug his hand into his pocket, scrabbling past the empty wrappers and crumbs until he found it, a soft object attached to string. He pulled out the extendable ear and pointed his wand at it, encouraging it to wriggle down the corridor. He gathered up the other side and listened carefully.

"Be careful, sister dearest." There was a pause, "I'm always watching you, you fuck this up and you won't need to wait for daddy to sort you out, I'll do it myself."

"I don't need you to tell me what to do."

"You've always been weak, little Allie. I don't trust you, you need to be careful- you don't want me as your enemy."

"Might want to get the fuck off of me before anyone sees." Alison's voice was low, fierce and like James would never imagined that soft looking brunette to sound.

"Perhaps I don't care, perhaps I'm tired of living in the shadows waiting..." He broke off stepping back from his sister as he looked past James down the corridor. James listened and he felt his throat close as footsteps approached from behind him, leaving him trapped.

"Get in the dormitory. This conversation isn't over." The eldest Higgs punctuated this with a harsh push that made Alison yelp and almost fall. "In."

The disappeared behind the portrait and James leapt around the corner, he scrambled for cover, seeing only an alcove behind a statue, he ducked in, heart in his mouth as he cursed his decision to leave the cloak and map in his room.

It was Zabini that turned the corner, wand aloft and brow furrowed as he scanned the corridor for any wandering students. James pressed himself into the shadows and waited, hand clamped over his mouth for the professor to leave. After a few agonising seconds Zabini strode off. James waited, panting in the shadows until he was sure he was alone before heading back to the common room his mind whirring over what he'd seen.

As he reached the common room Fred and Dan stared at him from across the room and James made his decision then and there, no one would know about what he just saw in the dungeons. Allies secrets were her own and it wasn't up to him to get involved. Fred and Dan were sat in front of the fire; the common room was mostly deserted with only a few sixth and seventh years sat leaning over unfinished homework. Of course, James had finished his homework- thanks to Alison.

"Alright Jamsie boy?" Dan asked, smiling slightly.

"Not bad, what have you been doing?" James asked, taking in the obviously untouched homework.

Dan and Fred eyed each other warily before admitting, "We sort of, maybe, pulled the first prank of the year." Fred winced as Dan spoke.

"Jim, it's not like we ever see you anymore," Fred said softly, glancing around them to make sure no one was listening, "You are always off with that Higgs girl."

"Doing homework," James said shortly, he didn't care about the prank, not really. He cared more that his friends were leaving him out, after years of being inseparable.

"Look, mate, don't take this the wrong way..." Fred said slowly, looking at Dan for reassurance, "It's just that, well, she's a Slytherin."

"So?" James questioned sharply.

"Well, you know how things are on the outside, muggle baiting increasing, another muggleborn disappearing..."

"This has nothing to do with Alison, or with me."

"James it's obvious. You fancy her. And the thing is James, can you be sure that she's not just using you?"

Colour rose in his cheeks; he did not fancy her. Not at all. They were working together and he could trust her, couldn't he? The push that he had witnessed replayed in his head, her face sad and determined as she walked into the common room. James knew, then, that no matter what, she needed him, as a friend, as a partner, whatever. Perhaps in the past he would have judged her far more harshly, but he spent most evenings with her. He didn't know her that well, but he knew her well enough to like her. He didn't know if that was as a friend or because she was pretty. It didn't really matter. He liked her company; why should it matter that she was in Slytherin? "I can't believe you're asking me that."

"Look James, don't you think it's weird that suddenly she's helping you out and being all friendly?"

"No," James said shortly. "She isn't helping me because of my dad, she's helping me because Zabini partnered us up." They fell into an uneasy silence as James' jaw clenched and unclenched in fury. Not everyone just wanted him because of his dad.

"Okay, James." Fred said quietly. "Just be careful mate."

"I don't need to be." With that James left the common room, stalking upstairs and throwing himself onto his bed.

James was determined that not only were Dan and Fred wrong, but that he'd prove it.