(Or "Moosehammed Ali!")
"WELL, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE CERTAINLY HAVE HAD AN EXCITING TIME SO FAR, THEY'VE ALREADY CHOSEN THEIR IDENTITIES…"
"They call me Macho man ROCKY SAVAGE!" Rocky exclaimed, flexing his muscles in that jumpsuit, gritting his cute little squirrel teeth.
"I'm STONE COLD STEVE MOOSE-TON!" Bullwinkle exclaimed, starting to flex alongside his friend.
"AND AS SUCH, ARE NOW READY TO PARTICIPATE IN A WRESTLING MATCH OVER AT THE FROSTBITE FALLS REC CENTER!"
——————
"MEANWHILE, OVER IN POTTSYLVANIA, THAT ZIT ON THE FACE OF EASTERN EUROPE, FEARLESS LEADER HAD JUST DISCOVERED ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE'S INTENTIONS, AND HE DIDN'T LIKE IT, NOT ONE BIT."
"I don't like dis, not VONE bit!" Fearless Leader exclaimed, watching a video of Rocky and Bullwinkle from within a large bathtub (complete with bubble bath and a rubber duckie that bore his resemblance, monocle and everything). He emerged, placing on a bathrobe, and pressed a button nearest a speaker. "BADENOV! FATALE! GET EEN HERE DEES INSTANT!"
"WITHIN A SECOND, BORIS AND NATASHA ARRIVED."
"Da, Fearless Leader?" Boris and Natasha asked their superior, then immediately covered their eyes upon seeing him in the bathtub.
"Ower ze past year or so, I've been lookink at Amerikanski TV wrestlink program called "Wrestle Sprain-Ya", und I've noticed zat everyone appears to be treatink wrestle-men like gods or sometink." Fearless Leader explained.
"Da? So vat ex-sac-tly ees point, here?" Boris replied.
"Da, tell us, sir." Natasha replied as well, the two of them both extremely inquisitive.
"You've got to become great wrestlers, zat vay you can take ze vorld by storm, und I von't ewen have to lift eh finger!" Fearless Leader explained. "Now zat you've been given your mission, GO!"
"Da, Fearless Leader, sir!" Boris and Natasha exclaimed, saluting their boss.
——————
"WELL, WHILE BORIS AND NATASHA FLEW OVER TO MN, BACK IN THE STATES, THE FIRST COMPETITION HAD BEGUN…for the time being, I'll just let the announcer do the talking."
"WELCOME EVERYONE TO THE FIRST FROSTBITE FALLS REC CENTER WRESTLING COMPETITION! IN THIS CORNER…" the announcer spoke, picking up the microphone. "WEIGHING IN AT A COMBINED 415 POUNDS, IT'S STONE-COLD STEVE MOOSE-TON AND MACHO MAN ROCKY SAAAAAVAAAAAAGE!"
Rocky and Bullwinkle immediately jumped over the ropes and into the wrestling ring.
"YEEEEEAAAAH!!" Bullwinkle exclaimed, yelling directly into Rocky's face.
"YEEEEEEAH!!" Rocky replied, attempting to do a yell in a much deeper tone of voice than he was used to. He coughed, clearing his throat. "Um…what he said." The squirrel pointed back at Bullwinkle.
"Anyway," the announcer spoke, walking back into the ring. "IN THIS CORNER, weighing in at 299 pounds, we have none other than the notorious WOLF MAN!!"
"The wolf man?" Bullwinkle inquisitively asked.
"A RATHER SKINNY MAN WALKED INTO THE RING. HE LOOKED LIKE SOMEONE BULLWINKLE AND ROCKY COULD EASILY BEST. AT THAT EXACT MOMENT, THE RELATIVELY SKINNY MAN FLEXED, REMOVING HIS BATHROBE TO REVEAL AN EXTREMELY HAIRY, MUSCULAR BODY IN A SPEEDO."
"Eughhh.." Bullwinkle shivered, sticking out his tongue.
"I know." Rocky replied. "But we've got to beat this guy, how else are we gonna win?"
"I think we should come up with a plan right about now, Rock." Bullwinkle replied.
"Why's that?" Rocky asked.
"Look." Bullwinkle pointed.
"THE WOLF MAN WAS NOW FLYING DIRECTLY AT ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE, BUT BULLWINKLE HAD AN IDEA THAT SEEMED A LITTLE UNORTHODOX…"
"HALT!" Bullwinkle exclaimed, sticking out his hand.
"THE WOLF-MAN SLAMMED RIGHT INTO BULLWINKLE'S GLOVED HAND, AND OH BOY, IT FELT LIKE HE'D RAMMED HIS ENTIRE HEAD INTO A ONCOMING TRUCK!"
"—And I didn't even mean to do that." Bullwinkle replied, his hand feeling perfectly fine.
"Hokey smokes, Bullwinkle!" Rocky exclaimed. "I had completely forgotten about your strength! Listen, I've got an idea…" he began to whisper in Bullwinkle's ear.
"AS THE WOLFMAN PREPARED TO ATTACK ANOTHER TIME, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE DEVISED A WRESTLING MOVE ROCKY CALLED "The Squirrelly Supplex!" NOW, THEY HAD TO VERY QUICKLY TRY IT OUT…."
"ALLEY…!" Rocky stuck out his tail and tripped the Wolfman.
"—OOP!" Bullwinkle exclaimed as well, and pulled the Wolf man into a suplex, slamming him onto the floor.
"ONE! TWO! THREE!" The announcer exclaimed. "AAAND HE'S OUTTA HERE!!"
"YEAH!" Bullwinkle and Rocky high-fived each other.
"I can't believe we pulled that off!" Rocky replied, still very stunned.
"AND SO, AFTER THAT TRYOUT SESSION, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE WON EVERY WRESTLING MATCH THE REC CENTER HAD TO THROW AT EM'!"
"INNNTRODUCING FROM THE FAR EAST, IT'S OOOOONE TOOOOONNNN!!" The announced moved back as an ENORMOUS sumo wrestler entered the ring, covered in tattoos and practically naked.
"*SHINU TAME NO JUNBI*!" One Ton shouted.
("*Prepare to die!"*)
"What?" Rocky asked.
"I dunno either." Bullwinkle replied. "I got too distracted by his thong...eugh..."
"Okay, you ready?" Rocky asked.
"YEP!" Bullwinkle replied.
"ALLEY--"
"OOP!" Bullwinkle flung Rocky between the massive Japanese man's fat legs, and Rocky grabbed hold of his mawashi, thereby giving him a massive wedgie.
"DAAAAAGH!!" One Ton exclaimed, then immediately fell to the floor, shaking the entire rec center.
"Yeah!" Rocky and Bullwinkle high-fived each other.
"NEXT UP, FROM THE BUKUVU PROVINCE OF AFRICA, HE'S THE SWINGIN' JUNGLE KING, AT 250 POUNDS OF SHEER MUSCLE, IT'S GEOOOOORGE OF THE JUN-GLLLLEEEE!!" The announcer exclaimed.
"Hey Rocky, Bullwinkle!" The muscular ape-man spoke, entering the ring and wearing a leopard skin and string of crocodile teeth around his neck, along with his usual loincloth. "It been real long time!"
"Hi George—" Rocky whispered so the audience wouldn't hear, taking him into a half-Nelson. "Yeah, Bullwinkle and I were gonna go for pizza after this, wanna come?"
"Sure!" George responded. "George wrestle you now?"
"Yep!" Rocky replied. "You ready for the Squirrely Supplex?"
"Ready as George'll ever be!" George replied.
"ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE ONCE AGAIN DID THEIR SIGNATURE MOVE, WHICH IMMEDIATELY TOOK GEORGE OUT."
"Not…bad…" George responded before fainting.
"ONE! TWO! THREE! THE WINNERS!!" The announcer exclaimed, lifting up Rocky and Bullwinkle's hands. "AGAIN!"
"Congratulations, boys!" The coach spoke after they'd finished that wrestling match. "You've been invited to go to the greatest wrestling match of all time…."
"Who's our opponents?" Rocky asked.
"ALLOW US TO EENTRODUCE OURSELVES!" Boris exclaimed all of a sudden. "VE, ARE IVAN DRAGGEM AND NATALYA KIKKEMOV!"
"BORIS AND NATASHA HAD SHOWN UP, DRESSED IN SPARKLY LEOTARDS WITH ENORMOUS 80's STYLED HAIR AND ELABORATE MAKEUP."
"Sink yu can take us DOWN?!" Natasha exclaimed.
"That voice…where've I heard that voice?" Rocky asked.
"Ve, are VORLD RENOWNED VRESTLERS!" Natasha replied. "Of COURSE YOU'VE HEARD US! So, again, I yam askink, YU SINK YU CAHN TAKE US DOWN EEN RING?!"
"YEAH!" Bullwinkle retorted along with Rocky.
"WELL, ANYWAY, MAKE SURE TO BE WITH US NEXT TIME FOR "No Train no Gain!" OR, "Yeah Mon-tage!"!"
