"And now it's time for—" Rocky spoke, but was interrupted by Bullwinkle once again.

"IT'S TIME FOR BULLWINKLE, THE BEAST-TAMER!!" Bullwinkle exclaimed, wearing a leotard and walking out onto the stage.

Someone lowered a massive cage onto the floor, Bullwinkle opened it to reveal a massive bengal tiger, then pulled out a whip and chair.

"BACK, tigger, BACK!" Bullwinkle exclaimed, cracking the whip. "—AAAGH!"

The tiger immediately opened his jaws and shoved Bullwinkle's head inside.

"And now here's something we hope you'll really like!" Rocky spoke, pulling Bullwinkle from the jaws of the massive tiger.

——————

Dudley Do-Right of the Mounties in: "Poutine on the Ritz!"

"AH…THE UNPARALLELED MAJESTY OF CANADA…AND ITS DELICIOUS NATIONAL FOODS, SUCH AS MAPLE SYRUP, NANAIMO BARS, AND BEAVER TAILS. THE NUMBER-ONE FOOD IN CANADA WAS BOUGHT OVER BY THE FRENCH, IT'S A WONDERFUL COMBINATION OF FRIES, GRAVY, AND CHEESE KNOWN AS…Poutine. YES, POUTINE IS CANADA'S…and Dudley Do-Right's FAVOURITE FOOD, AND AS SUCH, IN TOWN THAT DAY, A SMALL FESTIVAL WAS TAKING PLACE HONORING THAT CHEESY DELICACY. UNFORTUNATELY DO-RIGHT COULDN'T ATTEND, AS HE HAD TO STOP SNIDELY WHIPLASH'S LATEST SCHEME."

"Oh, sir, can't Underdog stop him?" Dudley asked.

"But Do-Right, Underdog isn't a Mountie, nor Canadian." The Inspector explained. "Also, if you'll recall, he got arrested not too long ago for his...ahem...vice."

———

(Flashback)

"—It's not an addiction, sir, I swear!" Underdog protested as the cops dragged him off. "These pills grant me superpowers, I do declare!"

"Yeah, that's what they all say." The police chief replied, placing a large cone around the huge-nosed canine's head, as well as handcuffs. "TELL IT TO THE JUDGE, FIDO!"

"—Oh, SHOESHINE—uh, I mean—UNDERDOG!!" Polly Purebred hollered, running from her cameraman to stop her boyfriend from getting arrested. "I'LL CALL YOU!! Officer, he didn't do anything..."

"MY GIRLFRIEND'S RIGHT, SIR! SHE'S A WITNESS!" Underdog exclaimed, still trying to resist. "THESE PILLS HAVE A LOT TO DO WITH IMPROVING MY PHYSICAL FITNESS!!"

———

(Present Day)

"Ah, yes, I do recall that..." Dudley sighed. "It's a shame what happens to heroes these days..."

"Yes, I only hope Mcbragg isn't on the chopping block next—truth or not, I rather enjoyed his stories.." The Inspector replied. "Well, anyway, you must undertake this mission, as you are in fact Canada's proudest son! Why, isn't your chest hair in the exact shape of a maple leaf?"

"DUDLEY PROCEEDED TO REMOVE THE TOP BUTTONS OF HIS MOUNTIE SHIRT, SHOWING INDEED THERE WAS A PATCH OF BLONDE CHEST HAIR OVER HIS PECS, IN THE EXACT SHAPE OF A MAPLE LEAF."

"Indeed it is, Inspector!" Do-Right replied, joyously. "Now watch me make it move around like the Canadian flag, it's a neat little party trick I sometimes—"

"I DON'T think a demonstration is required, Do-Right." Fenwick immediately shielded his eyes. "Anyway, go stop Snidely, that is an ORDER!"

"Yes, sir, Inspector Fenwick!" Dudley saluted.

"AND SO DUDLEY RAN ALL THE WAY INTO TOWN, WHERE THE ANNUAL POUTINE-FEST WAS TAKING PLACE. NEVER BEFORE HAD HE SEEN SUCH A DELICIOUS ASSORTMENT OF CHEESE, FRIES, AND GRAVY IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE…"

"My GOODNESS!" Dudley exclaimed, then slapped his face. "No! This is not the time for poutine, I must remain ever-vigilant!"

(*stomach growling sound*)

"DUDLEY GAZED DOWN AT HIS ABDOMEN, FOR WHILE THE SPIRIT WAS WILLING, THE STOMACH WAS HUNGRY…HE'D SKIPPED LUNCH THAT DAY AND POUTINE DID SOUND PRETTY GOOD RIGHT NOW. HE GAZED OVER AT ONE OF THE MANY STANDS, UNAWARE THAT HIS ARCHENEMY WAS ACTUALLY MANAGING THAT PARTICULAR ONE!"

"Good afternoon sir," Dudley spoke, not knowing the proprietor of the poutine stand was none other than Snidely Whiplash himself. "Let me get one bowl of your finest poutine, please."

"ZUT ALOURS!!" Snidely exclaimed, doing a fake French accent. "Aren't you Dudley Do Right of Le Mounties?!"

"Ohh, c'est correcc..." Dudley tipped his hat, then continued in absolutely perfect Québécois-French; "Bon Soirée, Monsieur bonhomme vert, un bol de votre meilleur poutine, si'l vous plait."

"Uh, could we zpeak ze Engleesh?" Snidely asked, trying to cover up the fact he didn't know a lick of French. "I need ze practice."

"Oh uh, alright." Dudley replied.

"Anyvay, zat vill be five, er, how you say—bucks…" Snidely replied, still doing the accent but losing it a little at the end.

"Here you are my good man…" Dudley handed Snidely a five Canadian dollar bill.

"WHAT DUDLEY DIDN'T KNOW WAS THAT SNIDELY JUST SO HAPPENED TO HAVE SLIPPED ONE SMALL MIND-CONTROL PILL INTO THE POUTINE. AS SOON AS THE FIRST BITE OF CHEESY GOODNESS WENT INTO HIS ESOPHAGUS, IT QUICKLY TOOK EFFECT.."

"WHAT IS THY BIDDING, MY MASTER?!" Dudley spoke in a monotone, he had a blank stare.

"Attention, Do-Right!" Snidely spoke, bonking the Mountie on the head with his fist to get his attention. "You are under my command and as such you're going to rob the bank!"

"YES, MY MASTER…" Dudley replied, off to execute Snidely's bidding.

"Oh wait—" Snidely continued. "We've got to leave no evidence so I suggest you finish off the rest of the poutine…"

"YES, MY MASTER…" Do-Right spoke, and lifted up the enormous skillet, pouring the rest into his mouth, leaving him very swollen in the midsection as he stormed off.

"Oh I'm ever so glad it worked!" Snidely exclaimed. "Five years of inventing a mind-control pill and its paying off at last! My only problem is that it stops it's effect whenever someone says that blasted code word."

"MEANWHILE, DUDLEY AMBLED ALONG THE STREET, DYNAMITE IN HIS HANDS. HE TOOK THE IGNITION BOX THAT WAS WIRED TO THE DYNAMITE AND PREPARED TO PUSH IT ON DOWN. HE WAS ABOUT TO BLOW UP THE FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF CANADA, WHEN THE INSPECTOR HAPPENED TO BE WALKING ALONGSIDE NELL."

"Ah, Dudley, coming to thwart Whiplash's latest scheme? Good on you, man!" The Inspector gave Dudley a pay on the back.

"OUT OF THE WAY, DO-GOODER—" Dudley spoke, still under the effect of the mind control pill.

"I say, Dudley!" The Inspector exclaimed, extremely surprised as Dudley lifted him up, preparing to quite possibly break every bone on his old body. "Don't you know who I am?! I'm the Inspector and that's my daughter, Nell!"

"THAT FINAL WORD, "Nell", JUST SO HAPPENED TO BE THE PARTICULAR CODE WORD THAT MADE DUDLEY SNAP BACK TO BEING HIS USUAL SELF."

"Oh good heavens Inspector!" Dudley exclaimed, placing the Inspector back down, upon noticing the dynamite placed around the First National Bank. "How on EARTH did all this dynamite get there?!"

""How", indeed, from the looks of it, you've clearly placed the dynamite yourself!" The Inspector retorted.

"Something's come over me, Inspector, the last thing I recall was buying some poutine from this green chap, and then—" Dudley began choking, grasping at his neck.

"DUDLEY COUGHED AND OUT CAME A LITTLE, HALF-DIGESTED RED PILL."

"Why, father, look!" Nell gasped, picking up the small, red pill, and reading the tiny inscription on the side. ""Whiplash's Patented Mind-Control Supplements"—however did he get that on such a small pill?"

"Never mind that, daughter, the question is, however did he get it inside Dudley?" The Inspector pondered, then it hit him. "Do-Right…he didn't slip it into the poutine you'd bought, perhaps?"

"Snidely!" Do-Right exclaimed. "I should've known!"

"AND WITH THAT, DO-RIGHT RAN ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE POUTINE STAND."

"Bonjour, Monsieur—" Snidley attempted to do his phony French accent again, but was promptly knocked down by Dudley.

"SNIDELY, SURPRISED THAT DUDLEY WAS NO LONGER UNDER THE EFFECT OF THE CHEESE-COATED MICKEY HE'D SLIPPED HIM, GULPED IN ABSOLUTE SHOCK."

"D-Do Right?!" Snidely exclaimed.

"That's right." Dudley replied, holding a hose connected to a massive tank of liquid cheese from the poutine fest. "Now say CHEESE!!"

(*SPLORCH!*)

"SNIDELY WAS INSTANLY SPRAYED WITH WARM, GOOEY LIQUID CHEESE WHICH SPLATTERED AGAINST THE SIDE OF A WALL. THE CHEESE HARDENED A LITTLE, MAKING IT THE PERFECT PRISON."

"Well Do-Right, M'boy," the Inspector spoke. "Once again you've done a very "Gouda" job."

"EVERYONE GROANED AT THAT PUN THE INSPECTOR MADE."

——————

"And now, back to the show!"