Act VIII: The Fourth Great Ninja War


Closure: Made Easier with Zombies


Shikamaru, Choji, and Ino darted forwards through the trees, accompanied by hundreds of others spread out across miles and miles of terrain. Together, they formed a walking (or rather, tree-running) wall of ninja moving across the country.

Shikamaru was fully aware that this was the most ridiculous 'war' in the history of the Five Elemental Nations.

They were fighting one person. Terrain claimed had no meaning, neither did number of soldiers, neither did...anything. This 'Madara' (and Shikamaru had bet fifty ryo that wasn't who it was. Odds on it were five to one, apparently) had exactly two goals, and if his intentions with them were anything like Naruto said Pain's had been, then his success meant instant game over.

But if they put Naruto and B in a fortress, set everyone to guard them...well, whenever two ninja are in an asymmetrical battlefield, the favour would always go to the attacker. That's just the way they were trained; infiltration and tactical demolition was their whole thing.

The current plan was simple; raid everywhere Madara might be hiding, and once they find him, throw ninja at him until he drops dead from exhaustion. Crude, but effective. Even with the Kyuubi, against Hashirama, Madara had reportedly only been able to fight for a day or so before exhausting himself to death. Unless he's gotten stronger, rather than weaker, in the centuries since then, said the rational voice in Shikimaru's head. He tried to ignore it.

The strategy necessitated the scouts, which Ino-Shika-Cho were a part of. They were the ones supposed to actually find this guy; composed of those who were best equipped to capture threats, best equipped to transmit information quickly...or best equipped to die without much cost.

Shikamaru was confident his team was in the first category, but it didn't make him feel much better.

He glanced left to give a suggestion to Ino-

And saw It.

"Contact!" He shouted, throwing a kunai and immediately sending his chakra through the shadow.

Ino and Choji both jumped away as the thing appeared out of the tree bark reaching out for them, only to be caught by Shikamaru's extended shadow and held in place, what in the six paths of...

It had white skin, yellow eyes, green hair and a grin pasted across its face, and the arm that it already held pointed out extended as Shikamaru watched.

His eyes widened as a spear of organic something jetted out towards him, Wood Release-

He was saved at the last minute by his teammates, an oversized palm by Choji batting the organic weapon away while Ino dropped down behind the paralysed thing and slit its throat with a kunai.

It fell. Not bleeding, but dying just like any other human.

"Thanks." Shikamaru grunted. "Ino, what-"

"It was...it had a soul." She shivered, looking at it's corpse. "It's mind was empty, simple, but...but it was awake. It felt like-"

They were interrupted by shouts from their left and right, calls echoing from across the line of scouts throughout the forest.

Shik gulped. "Choji." He told his teammate. "Boost me."

The Akimichi didn't need to be asked twice, reaching out with a palm the size of a horse. Shikamaru jumped onto it, nodded, and then Choji shoved, sending Shikamaru up above the canopy and letting him see all the way to the horizon.

His heart froze in his chest.

The treeline stopped a few kilometres ahead of their position. That much had been expected.

What wasn't expected was the sea of white bodied monsters all charging straight towards them.

Oh, this is such a...no, not saying it, this is serious.

"INO!" He shouted, (shouted, him!) the moment he dropped down again, getting a shocked look. "RECONTACT BASE! NOW!" Looks like this is going to be a proper war after all.


Naruto, Hinata, Sasuke and B all stopped on a large rock outcropping. All the other ninja who'd been on the island with them had returned to report to the main shinobi army, leaving the four of them alone to...well, in Naruto and Hinata's case, gawk.

"What the..." he began,

"Fuck..." she finished for him.

"Uh." Sasuke held up a hand. "Some of us don't have hyper enhanced Kyuubi senses or dojutsu built for reconnaissance. Little explanation?"

"War." Naruto said, numbly. "I can...guys, I can feel them. The ninja are every combination of terrified, angry, hurt, but they're fighting...I don't know what they're fighting. I don't even know if they're people, but...they're suffering."

"Zetsu." Hinata breathes. At everyone's confused glances, "At least, I think that's what they are. Orochimaru explained all the Akatsuki members to me, and I've seen this one once or twice, watching me. Or, well, not these specifically, more...look, he's like them but black."

"Uh, careful with what you're saying there." Sasuke glanced across at B.

"No, I mean he's not human."

"Whoa, okay. Be really careful." Stressed B.

"No, he's a-" Hinata stopped. Glared back at them. "Don't do this to me right now.

Look, Zetsu's a monster-man who's 50% black-chakra-manifestation-thing, and 50%...Well, I'm not sure. But it's white and freaky and the same thing in Tobi and Danzo's arms, and it's exactly what the massive army of monsters attacking the shinobi forces is." She turned back, squinting. "But that's not all. There's...oh no. Edo tensei. They have reanimated undead on their side. Who created all these?"

"Maybe, oh I dunno, Madara?" Sasuke offered.

"Point." Hinata breathed out. "Okay, where to go...dammit, where's Kakashi when we need him?"

"Uh, help the armies? Duh?" Naruto offered.

"We can't just wade in there and exhaust ourselves killing fodder enemies." Sasuke shook his head. "All the manga dictate a clear pattern here. Nameless characters fight these 'Zetsu', side characters fight the reanimated ninja, and we take on the main villain. Can you see him yet, Hinata?"

"Not from here. We'll have to move in, get closer, but...guys, EGB is so busted. By the time we're at the warfront, I'll be able to see the whole country. There won't be anywhere for him to hide."

"Hold on, backtrack." Naruto held out a hand, concern on his face. "We're just, what, leaving our allies to die? That's not cool."

"No, we're doing what we have to do to save them all the fastest." Sasuke countered. "Phantom Menace rules; kill the big bad and all the minions go down."

"We need to go where we're most needed." Hinata agreed. "And that means going right to the top. I'm sorry, Naruto, but we can't be in multiple places at once."

Naruto blinked. "Wow. Right, multiple places at once, way to make me feel stupid, why didn't I do this immediately..."

He put his hands together in a familiar gesture.

"Uh, Naruto?" Sasuke put a hand on his shoulder. "Listen, even if you make a few hundred shadow clones and throw them out at the army, (and trust me, I know you can) they'll be left weakened, and so will you. If we're going against someone who makes the Kage look like jokes, we can't do it at one one-hundredth strength."

Naruto looked at them. Snorted. Shook his head. "Oh, wow. You guys really don't get it, do you?"

They exchanged glances.

"Shadow clone jutsu." He created one duplicate, continuing, "I mean, you all know I have a lot of chakra. I've shown I have a lot of chakra, Kakashi's told you I have a lot of chakra. But I...don't think you quite realise how much chakra."

He nodded to his clone, who took up it's own hand seals. "Multi Shadow Clone jutsu!" It shouted.

And there was light.

B, with no special dojutsu, only looked like he was about to shit himself, but Sasuke and Hinata each actually screamed as their surroundings were filled with Naruto.

Thousands of them.

Literally, upwards of two thousand Naruto.

All wearing Kyuubi cloaks, glowing golden, shining brighter than the sun that had only just started to rise above the horizon.

"FOR KONOHA!" Naruto shouted, and "FOR KONOHA!" The cry was echoed a thousand times from all around him, and then they were off, charging in a 120 degree arc in front of everyone to reach all corners of the fighting.

Naruto Prime turned back to his teammates, and grinned. "They all could summon Gamabunta, if they want to use all their chakra at once."

"But...they're weaker, right?" B gulped.

"Nope." Naruto shrugged. "Shadow clones are only physically weaker if they don't have the chakra to spare on propelling themselves around, and that caps at around...well, nothing, for me. And the cloaks are coming straight from the Kyuubi, so I don't even need to worry about that until we merge our chakra completely."

"You did that...with half your chakra." Sasuke gulped.

"And I've still got more than all of you combined times five. Ish." Naruto smiled.

"Haah...You have no idea how hot that was." Hinata said, very quietly, but not so quietly that he didn't hear.

"SO, Madara." Naruto clapped his hands together, blushing. "Let's go catch this asshole!"


"Soooo~" Tobi appeared next to Kabuto. "How's the war going?"

"It's only just started, give it a minute." Yahushi Kabuto was trying his hardest to stay cool, but couldn't stop the grin that passed over his face. This was the most exciting thing he'd ever done. He was fighting...everyone. Like, literally everyone. He was getting giddy just thinking about it.

"So set the scene for me." Tobi dropped into a sitting position next to him. "What's the warfront like? How are we doing?"

"Well, since you insist." Kabuto gestured to the map laid out in front of him. "This is the battlefield. The rough shapes are the mass forces; the Alliance's divisions and our hordes, and the shogi pieces represent our Edo-nin. Since those can't die and don't get exhausted, I imagine they're going to be quite a hassle for our enemies to deal with. How effectively they can do so mainly depends on how quickly they adapt, how long it takes them to realise what sealing jutsu they need. Since only a few ninja in Konoha have even seen the Edo tensei, I imagine that will take them a while."

"Not that we actually give a shit about what happens between the main armies." Tobi pointed out.

"Oh, of course, but I'm getting to that. See, I resurrected a Yamanaka or two and used them to plug in to the Alliance's communications network."

"Ooh, sneaky! I love it." Tobi rocked back and forth on his haunches like a child enraptured by their parent's stories.

"Thank you. See, obviously all we need to do is get our hands on the Jinchurikki. Lucky for us, by the reports I'm getting, B and the whole of team 7 is making a beeline straight towards us. All the eggs are in one basket, ripe for the poaching."

Kabuto reached into his pocket and drew out a few small figurines. "So all we need to worry about is where we're putting all of our 'big players'. You still sure you want to throw Madara at the five Kage?"

"Mmhmm." Tobi nodded. "Not like he can't handle it. And it'll give him a nice warmup. Now as for our other allies...who're you planning on dropping on those four first?"

Kabuto chuckled. "Hmm. How about we send..." he very deliberately placed down three of the figurines on the map. "...everyone?"

Tobi looked across at him. The Rinnegan now prominently displayed in one eye seemed to flash in the darkness. "You know what? I like the way you think."


Hinata's eyes narrowed. "Contact." She called back. "I...think? There's a body in a coffin under the floor, but it's not-Nope, it's moving, positions people-"

The four landed in power ranger poses on the ground, quickly taking stock of the forest around them and the coffin emerging from the floor.

The front of it popped off, and everyone (everyone) flinched.

"The fuck." Said Nagato Uzumaki.

"Aw, shit..." Sasuke glanced across at Naruto. "Game plan?"

Naruto's mouth drew into a line, as Nagato walked out of the coffin, and he started to think.

He didn't want to get his friends hurt. That was concern number one. Concern number two was that they were much more likely to get out of this working as a team, especially if Nagato could still do the six-body trick. Concern number three was that they needed to get to Tobi as fast as possible, and every moment they wasted here was a moment where their fellow ninja were dying. Concern number four; he'd thought a lot about how to restrain someone who was immortal and didn't run out of chakra, but knew that it would be pretty damn hard...

He was considering leaving a shadow clone here as a distraction while they all moved on, when-

"Shit!" Hinata swore. "Oh, fuck. Oh, fuckity-fuckity-fuck fuck fuck."

"What's up?" Naruto looked across.

"Bad news." Hinata grimaced, looking past Nagato (who was, respectfully, staying silent and letting them talk) to something in the distance only she could see. "Naruto...can you and B handle this?"

Naruto could feel chakra signatures from the direction she was looking, but didn't know who they belonged to. "Probably, why? What's-"

"Trust me." She told him. "Me and Sasuke need to go take care of this next one."

Naruto blew out a breath, then nodded. "Yeah, we can take him. Go." He focused on Nagato. "Unless that's an issue for you, 'Pain'?"

"I'm meant to target the Jinchurikki." The Uzumaki shrugged. "They're irrelevant."

At another nod from Naruto, Sasuke and Hinata vanished. Then the Eight-Tails and the Nine-Tails squared off against the man with the Rinnegan.

"So, I got the feeling we'd sorted out our differences last we talked." Naruto called across. "What's the deal, buckaroo?"

"Obviously, I don't want to do this." Nagato replied, calmly. "I'm only talking to you because my summoner is allowing me a limited amount of pre-match banter. But there is going to be a match, as much as I don't want to attack either of you."

"Any idea who the summoner is?" B asked.

"No. But I only have one suspect; Tobi. An old...'ally' of mine. We founded the Akatsuki together." Nagato held out one hand. He looked weak, and small, beneath his simple, dark-red robe. But anyone who had seen what happened to Konoha could tell that was a terrible underestimation to make. "Our time is up. Please do not let me kill you. I have no idea what he plans to do with the weapon if he completes it."

"Don't die?" Naruto grinned, putting his hands together. "Noted."

I kicked your ass before, and I've only gotten stronger since then. Let's make this quick. "Shadow cl-"

There was a flash, and Naruto felt a sharp stab of pain as a small needle-thin part of his stomach started complaining.

He noticed the red laser beam extending from a hatch on Nagato's shoulder, saw in horror that it was punching right through his gut, and then threw himself to the side as the laser rapidly drew a line upwards to his brain. He was barely able to move so that it only tore in a curve across his upper torso and out above his shoulder, and growled in anguish as he landed in a roll, now that there was now a giant cut almost bisecting him.

"Try harder please." Nagato incentivised, the laser vanishing. "I won't be able to deliberately target a nonlethal area again."

Naruto spat. Kyuubi?

On it. I've been waiting for a rematch against this guy.

Naruto's cloak burst into life, his body healing the damage within moments, and he stood up, giving Killer B a quick nod. Alright then. We're taking this seriously.


Hinata and Sasuke didn't have to run for long before they encountered their own opponents. They both stopped, balancing on tree branches and looking out towards the two reanimated ninja facing them.

"Oh, you've gotta be-" Chorused Sasuke and Hinata.

"Shitting me." Finished Neji and Itachi.

"Seriously, of course this would happen." Sasuke groaned. "I mean, it's just the laws of dramatic storytelling at this point, right?"

"This is being done by a little twink called Kabuto Yahushi, and I'm pretty sure that's the only reason, yes." Itachi replied, before smiling brightly. "Also, hi bro! Hi Hinata!"

"Hi! Wait, Kabuto is the one doing this?" Hinata suppressed a snort. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." Neji rolled his black, broken eyes that still held his Byakugan in perfect condition. "The guy completely lost it when you killed his boss. I should've gone and murdered him, but I didn't think his sage training was going to go anywhere. And..." his eyes dropped to the floor. "Hello, Hinata. It's been a few weeks."

"Yeah, it has." Hinata paused. This certainly wasn't a conversation she'd expected to be having. "I...know about Hanabi."

Neji flinched.

"Is she safe?" Itachi asked.

"She is, yes. We straightened some things out with Toneri." Hinata inhaled, deeply. "I...I've forgiven you, just so you know. Both of you. It took me far longer than it should have, but..."

"Really?" Neji looked up at her. "Hinata, you know I never expected you to-"

"I know. I'm sure." Hinata nodded. "The simple fact of the matter is...I can't say I wouldn't have done the same. Or, well, I might have done something worse, but I've been turning it over and over in my head for weeks and I can't think of a better way I would have handled it."

"Try doing that for a decade or more." Itachi chuckled. "We had a couple of ideas eventually, but, well. Dwelling on the past isn't going to help anyone."

"We're sorry." Neji switched in. "So, so sorry for what we put you all through."

"Oh come on." Sasuke laughed. "We're ninja. It's in the job description."

"So..." Itachi fell into a fighting stance. "Fanservice sibling battle?"

Sasuke looked across at Hinata, nodded, and did the same. "Fanservice sibling battle. Prepare to die."

"...Uh, die again."

"Yeah no, we get it."


Tsunade heard her tent flap open and groaned. "If you're not my elite guard, I don't give a shit, now's not the time."

"On the contrary, Lady Hokage, I think you'll have to make time."

Tsunade recognised the voice, growled, and spun on Konan. The blue haired woman stood unmoving in her doorway.

"Listen, honey," The Hokage managed through gritted teeth, "great to see you here, but I absolutely cannot 'make time'. Shit's gone fucking crazy out there, we've got an army of green men and an army of Naruto and an army of undead, and frankly our army is starting to look a little flimsy. Right now Onoki and one of the Naruto clones are out there and literally Madara, AKA the scariest Uchiha to ever live, AKA the fucking unstoppable god of death, AKA my granddad's boyfriend, is on the battlefield. The five Kage are assembling to fight him, and I need to get a Flying Raijin jump in there right the fuck now. Whatever this is, it can wait."

Konan inclined her head. "Hm...Alright. If they want five Kage, they'll have them. I'll take your place. I'm strong enough, and I suppose as the leader of my hidden village, I would be 'Amekage' or some such."

"That's not how the naming system works!" Tsunade threw her arms in the air. Sure, technically the leaders of hidden Grass, Waterfall, Sound (before it had been outed as a terrorist organisation) were considered Kage, but not proper Kage, just-whatever, not important.

"And even if so, why don't we just both go?" She pointed out. "What could possibly be important enough that I wouldn't-"

Konan stepped to the side.

A figure walked through the doorway.

Tsunade froze.

Then threw herself forwards, fist outstretched.


Oh, how I love cliffhangers. Despise them as a reader, but when you're on the writing side, it's hard to resist.

Much like the Chunin exams, we have a blistering series of fights coming up. Though, in this case, it's literally fights until the end of the fic. Like this is it. It's fighting and fighting and fighting and fighting and then epilogue and we're done. No idea how many more chapters, but we're in the home stretch.

And also like the Chunin exams, I'm going to try and make sure that the fights stay interesting throughout. We've got a lot of matchups about to happen I've been excited to write since I planned out Shippuden in, like, October 2018. Christ, I've been doing this for too long...