I couldn't help it I was so giddy today, date with Jax had been running through my mind like crazy. Changing out of my sweaty clothes I quickly showered washing my body, my mind ticking over ever glance and smile we had, I've never felt like this.

Stepping out of the shower I stared at the mirror last night was the first night I didn't wake up thinking of him or my time in the military. It was refreshing.

Reaching for a bag in the back I opened it smirking, pressing my lips together I checked my watch. Nodding I decided to do it.

Arriving to grams and gramps I walked inside to the smell of food cooking "Where is he?" I asked stealing a celery stick as grams shooed my hand away.

"he is sleeping, got back from his ride real late" nodding "Is that what I think it is?"

"yeah, mind telling gramps"

"be my pleasure" she smirked at me "how was your date?"

"first night ever without that memory coming up" I nodded.

"maybe the outlaw not as bad as his reputation makes him out to be"

Shrugging "maybe not hey...I'm going to punish the girls and Jules" I winked turning on my heels, I ran upstairs finding the twins in their rooms.

"put your gear on" I wiggled my eyebrows

"wait what"

"really"

"yep, about time I kicked your asses on the track" I winked backing out walking into my room I changed into my riding gear I brought years ago but hadn't worn them.

Uncontactable for the next hour. See you at 6pm - Jax

Be safe. See you than. - Lillian

Shaking my head, I threw my phone on my bed and headed into Julian room finding him dead asleep snoring the walls down "hey sleepy head wake up"

"What…no, lily no"

"lily yes now get up let's get riding"

"riding?" Julian turned around one eye squinting at me "get out of town…alright" Julian stood up "face the wall"

Rolling my eye, I sat on his bed facing the wall "how was your date? Know Jax was furious at Clay for calling him"

I couldn't help but smile at hearing that "it was good I yelled at like three people for being rude" I shook my head "my first night Jules without thinking of him or military" I pressed my lips together "I've never felt like this, and it scares me like hell but excites me"

"Turn around" turning I looked at Jules he had a huge smile on his face his eye watering "if he can make all that hurt go away than he gets my stamp of approval" I know it effected Julian he witnessed a lot, witness me at my worse, took care me best a little kid could.

His hand gripped mine "but if he hurts you, I'm going to have to take him down" I scoffed "hey I can throw down"

"Not against a charter VP"

"Die trying" he winked "now let's go Beat those girls" nodding I got up.

"Happy birthday"

Julian kissed my cheek, his eyes watering "best present ever my sister is happy" walking outside the twin were reeving their bikes waiting for us "alright little ones need a lesson"

"Oh, hell yeah" Julian nodded clipping his helmet smirking I followed him to gramps who was sitting next to the spare bike.

"Give them hell" gramps whispered in my ear.

...

"Oh, you cheated" Addison hissed at Julian.

"You need to teach me that move" Alexis nodded.

"In due time little one" I winked

Sound of clapping made my head turn "jeez babe I didn't know you could handle bike that well" he winked.

"Want me to show you how to really ride your bike?"

"ha-ha" Jax mocked as he came forward kissing my cheek "you look good in mud" he whispered in my ear causing goosebumps to run up the back of my neck.

"I'm going to go shower make yourself at home"

"Sure, no problem Darlin...do you need a hand?" Jax whispered in my ear. I felt my cheeks began to burn as I walked away.

Quickly showering and changing I found Jax in the kitchen cutting carrots "you don't need to sell me on her Mary, she's already got me putting down a down payment and getting insurance"

"Just be patient with her" grams hand cupped his cheek "be kind, keep her on her toes, never doubt her worth she might seem like she has it all together, but she broken" leaning against the door frame was I that bad "you've noticed thing you've picked up on a lot she'll tell you one day and when she does don't pity her"

"I don't think I could ever pity such a strong woman but I'm almost afraid to hear it"

"she'll give you an out and opportunity to leave she'll push you away to try and protect you"

"She doesn't need to protect me" Jax confirmed "I got this Mary, thank you"

"Anytime now young man how about you go check on miss lily"

Taking a step, I made a loud sound "here" I smiled "need a hand?"

"Yes, Baby can you set the table sweetie?"

"Yes ma'am" grabbing the plates, had I really freaked people out this much. The sound of the doorbell rang but I was stuck in my own head. My mind ran with thoughts of what if he ran, what if I told him. Maybe I could keep it a secret forever.

Felt arms grab me jumping "Just me darling" my nose scrunched up automatically "darlin, darlin, darlin" he mocked kissing my cheek "Grams is one scary lady"

"Oh yeah?"

"yeah" he nodded "but she did inform me about a few things"

"oh"

"To never pity you...To be brutally honest and never lie and to stand taller because you're still putting yourself together" smirking I grabbed his Kutte pulling him closer I pressed my lips to his "Also that I don't cut carrot correctly"

"Where do you think I get my brutal honesty from?"

"Ah I see" he smirked pulling me closer

"Thank you" I whispered.

Jax pulled a confused face "hey you two cut that out" pulling away I turned to see Brittney in the hallway "I don't know if she likes me" she whispered.

Looking at Jax I couldn't help but laugh and Jax laughed with me. Grabbing his hand, I walked him into the lounge room "Jax Britt this is my little sisters Addison and Alexis"

"Nice to meet you girls" Jax smiled

"Oh god yep drop dead gorgeous" Addison smirked eyeing Jax.

"Nice to meet you Brittney prettier than what Julian described" Alexis smiled shaking her head at Addison.

"Thank you-"

"DINNER UP...WELL IF YOU COULD HAVE DONE IT WHY YOU ASK ME... OUCH WOMEN...ALRIGHT ALRIGHT" Gramps voice echoed through the house. The banter between those two was what made me believe in love.

Nodding we walked back to the table quickly finding our seats my eyes found Brittney fidgeting. Holding my laughter in I turned to Jax "she going to eat her alive tonight" I whispered

"Should we save her?"

"Maybe will see"

"Evil...you know I can't wait to have you to myself tonight"

"behave"

Dinner began and Brittney was putting in a lot of effort my grams was tougher with Julian it was her only grandson.

"So, you meet at the pub" grams asked

"Yes ma'am" Brittney smiled

"So, you're a big drinker"

"No ma'am it was a hard day for Lillian and me so we um went and had a girls night that Julian and Jax crashed"

"Hmm"

Brittney was white as a ghost I felt a swift kick to the shins looking up it was Julian with a pleading face. Smirking "alright grams retract the claws" grams smirked looking at me "she's only busting your balls Britt" the twins and Gramps erupted in laughter.

"Sorry love lily and Julian told me how nervous you were, and I couldn't help myself"

Rolling my eyes, I took $50 out of my pocket handing it to her "other words we had a wager" I shrugged

"Thank you" grams smirked pocketing the money. Poor Britt stared at me mouth wide open "it's nice to meet you Brittney but you don't need to impress me you've impressed the hardest and most protective one of the family" grams nodded at me.

Smirking "she's my person" I shrugged.

"You're mean…and so going to cop it tomorrow, but I love you"

"You like me mean" I winked.

Jax hand gripped my thigh close to my knee under the table, his hand moved back and forth rubbing it slowly but never high enough for Alert.

We ate happily chatting away, wasn't long before I was mounting Jax bike my hands wrapped around his stomach brushing up and down his abs.

Stopping at the red light "you need to stop that instantly" he whispered in my ear. Stopping in my tracks I moved my hands, but Jax gripped my hand putting it back "don't step back"

He began to ride again, and I turned to see Britt driving her head bobbing along to the music. Julian staring at her like his head over heels.

Pulling up to the club the smell of liquor and grease affected my senses. Jax got off first offering me his hand smiling softly I took Jax hand pulling myself up "hey" looking up at those blue eyes "don't step back"

2ws

"I'm trying"

"I know and I appreciate it" moving forward his lips brushed mine "did I tell you ever I love you in jeans" Raising my eyebrow he spun me around turning my head he was staring at my ass "yep love them"

Turning I smacked his chest "Jackson"

"Come on love birds" Britt called out.

Smirking I leant forward kissing Jax my hand cupping his face as our tongues began moving against each other. It began to get hot and heavy Jax hand gripped my ass pulling me closer against him. Panicking softly, I stepped back I walked off to Britt. Touching my lips, they tingled. Turning I looked back and Jax was staring at me shaking his head as he adjusted his jeans.

Walking into the clubhouse I was welcomed by the guys and some crow eaters. Walking to the bar chibs smiling from behind it as he began pouring liquor into a line of shot glasses a mischievous smile on his face.

Hands gripped my waist from behind placing my hand ready to rotate "you're mean" my body automatically relaxed as his hot breath tingled down my neck "let's get you a drink puzzle"

My mouth opened I wanted to tell him I wasn't trying to tease him that I was enjoying the kiss it's just when he gripped my ass I panicked "here you go love…Jackie boy" drinks were handed to us by Chibs, downing the shots I felt the burn instantly.

"And another love"

"Chibs you trying to get me drunk"

"Yes, you need a good night out, no longer in pain" taking the shot glass I looked at Jax dinging it together we both downed the shot "god you two need to fuck already"

"Chibs shut up" Jax gripped me pulling me away from the bar and chibs bad influence.

"Sorry about before- "Jax cut me off by kissing me his hand in my hair pulling me closer his hand wondering over my ass and this time I didn't freak out "fuck babe" he huffed out of Breath his forehead on mine.

"We are staying here tonight?" I asked

"Do you want too?" He asked

"I want to get to know your family" I nodded

"Well, if you continue to drink like that you won't get to hang out you light weight" he smirked

"Sorry"

"Stop it, I want you to have fun and to not kiss me like that and walk away" he gripped me pulling me towards his chest.

Jax grabbed two beers pulling me over to a seat "Lillian probably don't remember him, but this is Opie"

"Ah yeah right hi"

"Hi good to see you again"

"Likewise," Opie was shut off and tall. He looked uncomfortable here like he didn't fit in.

"Donna didn't come" Jax asked

"Uncomfortable" Opie nodded "so you're the girl that gives him blue balls"

"Opie" Jax glared. Did he talk about me not having sex with him?

"Lillian it's here" Britt came up to me.

"I'll get everyone outside" Jax whispered.

Leaning forward I kissed him "thank you babe" Jax nodded talking a step back. Grabbing Britt, we searched for Julian.

"Britt am I a horrible person for not having sex with Jax" Britt stopped in her tracks.

"No, you're not and if he's said something"

"He hasn't"

"Good" she nodded

Finding Julian at the bar "Hey down this" I said grabbing few shots.

"And this" Britt grabbed one too. Julian frowned downing the two shots "beautiful here" grabbing the scarf I covered his eyes.

"What?"

"Surprise" I stated.

Grabbing his arm everyone was outside and I smiled at the bike as I walked Julian out "okay Jules" Julian took the scarf off "happy birthday"

"Get fucked" Jules smiled "Lillian no"

Smiling "yeah Jax helped. You need a better ride if you get in" I shrugged.

Julian turned picking me up and spinning me around "fuck I love you thank you thank you thank you" finally putting me down he ran off to his bike the boys cheering as he reeves the throttle.

"Jesus can you be my sister" Bobby elbowed next.

"Mine too" tigs put his head on my shoulder

"Get off me" pushing him a way he winked at me "he deserves it"

"Oh my god girl go talk to him stop avoiding him"

"I'm not" I shrugged gripping my beer.

"The guy is in love with you Lil- "

"We aren't even together" I cut her off.

"He likes you though very much and of course his spoken to his mates"

"Yeah, but what if he just thinks I'm a tease"

"Lillian, I know something dark happened just by the way you and Julian shut off when asked about it. Not here to judge my ex-boyfriend use to beat me why his locked up right now" she signed "I was his punching bag for years but we both stopped being a punching bag…now go find your man"

Smirking I pushed off the stool and began looking for Jax "Hey have you seen Jax?" I asked Piney.

"Went upstairs a few minutes ago" thanking him I Headed towards the dorms, Sound of sex evident behind almost every door.

Stopping at Jax door my heart in my lungs as I slowly opened the door "Jax? holy fuck I'm so sorry I will leave"

"Lillian wait-"