Lucy got ready and picked up the keys from her bag. She drove to the restaurant where Kate told her they were. She was nervous about seeing Philips in this setting. She is coming to that place as a wife, not fellow agent. She braided her hair, put on white pants and red shirt, the same color as Kate's dress. She even did some makeup and kept her rings on her finger. She stood in front of her shoes shelf and picked black sandals with heels.
Ride to the restaurant didn't last long. She was nervous to meet Kate and her boss. During their years in DC, she never met any of the people Kate worked with. She walked into the restaurant and went where Kate told her they would be. Philips saw her and got up.
''Special agent Tara.''
''Chief Philips.''
''I hope you are not holding against me taking your wife's time on Saturday? I had a lot to talk to her about. Your wife is precious gem of our agency.''
Lucy smiled at him.
''Thank you Sir. I know she is precious gem. After all, no one knows that better than me.''
She put her hand on Kate's shoulder.
''My wife is incredible woman Sir… I am glad someone else sees it too.''
''Yes, she is an asset.''
Kate felt a bit uncomfortable. Lucy smiled at him.
''I hope you can excuse us. I promised Kate to talk her to lunch…''
She squeezed Kate's shoulder.
''Are you ready to go babe?''
''Yes, let's go.''
They said good bye to Philips and walked out of the restaurant. Lucy noticed that Kate was a bit absentminded. Lucy drove to their favorite restaurant and from time to time she would look at her wife wondering what is going on.
''Are you all right?''
''I don't know.''
''Do you want to talk about it?''
Kate just looked at her and closed her eyes.
''I would love to, but I can't…''
''Can't or won't?''
''It's work related. I am not allowed to.''
''Oh… Just work related?''
''Yes and no, but I still can't talk about it with anyone who doesn't have clearance. I will tell you as soon as I can. I promise.''
Lucy just nodded. She hated Kate's job sometimes, especially now when they were trying to fix their relationship.
''I just have to ask…''
By Lucy's tone, Kate knew.
''No, he did nothing of the sort. It was very professional and work related. Nothing he did or said crossed any boundary. I may not like Philips very much, but he is professional to the bone, an old school intelligence officer. I might admire that about him. He reminds me of my dad and how he sees duty.''
''You hated your dad's loyalty to the state and all.''
''I did, but then I became intelligence officer and understood him better. He and I didn't see eye to eye very often, especially when it came to my sexuality and how he took it, but when it comes to his work ethics and loyalty to this country, that is what I admire.''
''I know… I just wish he was better dad.''
''Me too, but we can't have it all Lucy.''
''I know.''
There was moment of silence and then Lucy spoke again.
''I know you can't talk about the meeting, but I am glad he didn't do anything to hurt or humiliate you. I see that whatever you spoke about has you unsettled and I am here if and when you need or can talk about it.''
They got into the restaurant and took a seat at their old table. It had beautiful ocean view and both women had nice memories of this place. They ordered their usual and just sat in silence looking at the water and how it was sparkling under the sun.
''Do you ever wish we had normal lives? Normal jobs and just… I don't know… Have that boring life of nine to five without too much risk?''
Kate looked at Lucy and kept quiet for a moment.
''I do… But I also know that if we had that life, it wouldn't be us. We both took our jobs for a reason. Our line of work is not something easy to get into and also something you choose without million other reasons. I love…No, appreciate my work. I feel useful and like I am doing something important. And I am sure your job gives you some of those feelings too.''
''I sometimes daydream that I have normal job… Like I work in retail or as an accountant…or in a bank… Simple nine to five without too much danger and stress…''
''Working in a bank could be stressful and dangerous… Also accountants do some ''creative work'' that puts them in danger.''
Lucy just rolled her eyes at her.
''That is my fantasy… Leave it alone!''
''Please, continue…''
''It's just that… Sometimes I daydream about having normal life. Going to the movies without being called in the middle of it. Going to dates where I don't have to leave because of the new case we've got.''
Kate just looked at her.
''I did date…try to at least…It was weird.''
''Ok…''
''You sound angry…''
''Am I supposed to be happy you were trying to date?''
''Here we go again!''
''Fine, I will stop. Go back to your story.''
''Doesn't matter anymore.''
''No, please continue. It's clear that to you it has some point.''
''That sounded so condescending.''
''It is not.''
''You are angry that I dated other people. But you were not here. We were not together.''
''And yet, you never stopped being my wife Lucy. If you wanted to date, I was one phone call away, one signature away from your freedom to date and do what you want and who you want. It's just… I never expected you to be one of those people…''
''Those people?''
''Who cheat…''
''How did I cheat when we were not together?''
''For us not to be together, there had to be a conversation where at least one of us sayse she needs time or wants to end this marriage. None of us did it. I kept it clean on my end. I never did anything with anyone since we've been together Lucy and even if I felt attracted to someone else, I stopped myself because I am hat person. I don't cheat on my spouse because I am angry and hurt.''
''Well, we can't all be saint Katherine Whistler with ice in her veins and too rational decisions and choices.''
Kate opened her purse and put the money on the table. She threw it on the table and left the restaurant. She hailed the cab and went home. Lucy stayed in the restaurant few moments more and then payed the remaining of the bill and drove off to the beach. She spent some time just sitting there and thinking about what just happened and why did she let herself say all those words. She knew they would hurt Kate. She knew how Kate was sensitive about her inability to easily express her feelings and be comfortable to talk about them. She also knew she and Kate had different view on the marriage. Lucy had supportive parents and to her that marriage was one more thing she could have if she ever wanted, to Kate it was hard earned right and freedom. Her father was very angry at her for marrying at the age of nineteen and even more angry for marrying a woman. Kate had to claw and fight for every inch of her freedom and approval from her parents. She always had financial support and they never threatened her to cut her off if she didn't do something they wanted, but there was a lot of cold shoulder moments and ignoring when they didn't get things to go their way. So, Lucy knew she hit the wrong nerve with her wife and it would take something big to fix this mess. She didn't want to go home. She had no idea what would happen when she gets there. Will Kate ice her out or would they have full blown argument like they did few years ago when Lucy called her the robot and the ice queen. Somehow she ended up at Tennant's house. Her boss was surprised to see her, but by the look on her face she knew that Lucy wanted to talk about something. Julie and Alex were getting ready to go to their dad's so there was a chaos in the Tennant household.
''Give me a minute. Those two are a mess when they get ready at the last minute. Go outside and make yourself comfortable.''
''Ok… Thank you.''
About fifteen minutes later Tennant was outside with a bottle of good whiskey. She poured some to them and took a sip from her glass.
''What is going on Lucy?''
''I screwed up… Big time.''
''Are you talking to me as an agent to her SAC or as a friend about something personal?''
''I think work is the only thing I am doing good at. Everything else is falling apart.''
''What is falling apart?''
Lucy took a sip of her drink and Tennant saw her rings. Lucy knew Jane saw them but as usual she played it cool pretending she didn't.
''You can ask…''
''How long?''
''About thirteen years… Actually in a month will be our anniversary.''
''I had no idea you were married.''
''I had no idea I was still married either.''
''What?''
Lucy finished her drink and offered her glass to Jane.
''I need more of that for this story.''
Tennant poured them some more and got comfortable. This was going to be fun. She had no idea Lucy was married and now she will get all the details of it.
''How come you didn't know if you were married.?''
''Well, I packed my bags and came here leaving my wife just a note… And I sort of avoided her calls for some time….actually, all the time.''
''And what happened next?''
''She came here… After I stopped waiting for her. She just came here.''
''She showed up at your door?''
''Not really…''
Now Jane was confused.
''Was she stalking you?''
''No, that is not her style…''
''Will you tell me how she showed up and where?''
''She showed up in all her bitch suit glory and heels. She was still so beautiful…''
''And what is going on now?''
''My building had some water hazard… So yesterday I moved in with her. It's so strange to live with her again. Waking up in our bed and with her by my side hit me hard.''
''You slept with her?''
''No, we just slept in the same bed.''
''Oh…''
''But I was thinking about sleeping with her. It would be interesting to see if we still work in that way.''
''Do you have feelings for her?''
''I will always love her. She is the love of my life.''
''But you left her.''
''No! I left DC and life I hated. I never wanted to leave her… I was unhappy there. But I was never unhappy with her. If she accepted to move here with me, we would be still yucky and all over each other.''
''And now you are not?''
''Now I don't know even how to talk to her without fucking up. I told her she is cold and has no emotions.''
''Ouch!''
''Yes.''
Lucy kept drinking and giving Jane bits and pieces of what was going on. At one point she realized she was very drunk and couldn't drive home so Tennant took Lucy's phone and texted person under ''wifey''.
This is Jane Tennant. Your wife's boss. She is drunk at my place and this is my address. Can you please pick Lucy up. She is very sorry and that is why she is drunk. My door is open. Just come in.
Moments later she got the text back.
I will be there in thirty minutes. Give her a bit of lemonade and sparkling water. That will get her to sober up a bit. Thank you for the call.
Lucy had her lemonade and she was napping on the chair outside and Jane was enjoying her whiskey. She was a bit excited to meet the famous Mrs. Tara. She wondered who is the woman who still had Lucy wrapped around her little finger after all these years and two years of separation. Tennant heard the door and got up to great the woman. She took a sip of her drink and turned to the living room where she heard the steps. Jane spit out her whisky. Kate fricking Whistler was standing in her living room in a sun dress and flats playing nervously with her rings. Lucy woke up and saw her boss look at her in shock.
''YOU ARE MARRIED TO WHISTLER?''
Then she turned to Kate.
'' YOU ARE THE WIFE?''
Kate just nodded.
''I could never imagine two of you being married… I did see all the looks and all the teenage brooding around the office when the other one is not looking, but I never imagined… Wow!''
Jane poured some whiskey to herself and some into Lucy's glass she gave to Kate. They all needed this drink.
''Why haven't you told me Lucy?''
''That I am married to the DIA officer who is our pain in the ass? I don't see that helping either of us.''
''Not just that, but the fact that you are married. Why haven't you told me?''
''I didn't want to explain why my wife is not here with me and why I am the only one showing up alone with all of you knowing I was married. And if I told you about her, all of you would start digging...''
''So, now what?''
''Now you know that Lucy is my wife.''
''And the rest of the team?''
Kate looked at Lucy and then at Tennant.
''We haven't really talked about sharing the marriage news. Especially now when we don't really have it clear where do we stand in all this.''
''So, are you ending your marriage?''
Kate looked at Jane and then at Lucy and then back at Jane.
''We agreed last night to try and work on our marriage. We are looking for couple's therapy. So, that is the plan for now.''
''I have a good therapist…''
''You got divorced Tennant.''
''True, but I knew even before therapy that my marriage was over. We stopped loving each other as partners. We became parents and friends… There was no attraction anymore. And all the feelings of love for a partner were gone too. I didn't want to trap either of us in loveless marriage.''
Lucy looked worried.
''You don't think you could have fallen in love again?''
''Some people can, but I was never one of them. I never came back to anyone. I always moved on. It didn't work out for me, but it does for some people. My friend from college married the same man three times and it looks like third time was their charm… It doesn't make me or her right or wrong, just different. I wished I could fall back in love, that would be much less complicated than getting a divorce with two small kids in the mix. I knew that I was hurting my kids with the choice I made, but it was for the best. Now they have very happy father in a marriage with a woman whose entire universe is revolving around him. And I am happy being single. I am not looking for a new romance or romance at all. I am happy with myself.''
She was looking at Lucy and Kate giving each other looks and she smiled.
''I wouldn't worry too much if I were you. You have no reason to think about falling in love again. From where I stand, you never really fell out of love. You just forgot how to nurture what you have and put it above all. Now you have to make a choice. Will your professional live be more important than personal?''
She gave Kate meaningful look.
''What will you sacrifice now? Is it going to be fancy job or your marriage again?''
With that she got into the house and left two women sitting alone on her terrace. It was clear to her that those two had to make a lot of radical choices and brave decisions.
