Yeah, but, Gai is Gai.
"Alright, Listen up!" Hinata shouted as she ran. "You're not here to fight Madara! You're here to try and blow up the Ten Tails!"
Jiraiya laughed. "What, you think we can't-"
"He is nothing like Nagato!" She interrupted. "Get your head out of your pants! This guy just beat up the Fourth and Second at once without even trying! And then got even stronger than that!"
Jiraiya shut his mouth.
"HINATA!" Guy shouted from her left. "POWERSCALE HIM FOR ME!"
She frowned. Her first thought was to tell him 'don't even think about it', especially after the shit she'd seen from the Madara. But, if there was one person she trusted not to let his ego cloud his judgement, it was...Might Gai? Really? Wow, her life was weird.
"Base speed comparable to the Fourth, without Raijin!" She told him. "Susanno's over twice as big and powerful as the Kyuubi avatar! You already know the Rinnegan powers, and he's a pro with them!"
"How pro?" Haku asked.
"Don't even bother casting anything at him, he'll absorb it. If you let him attack you from range, you're dead. If you get in close and he grapples you, you're dead. If you hesitate, even for a moment, you're dead." Hinata replied, frankly.
The Kage (who had already had to fight him once) were looking positively ill at the thought.
"This is why I want Naruto and Sasuke back on their feet!" Hinata refused to look back at her teammates because no matter what she saw, it wasn't going to do her focus any favours right now. "Nobody we have left stands a chance unless they're as powerful as me! That or they're a taijutsu...god..." She looked left again.
Might Gai had a very interesting expression on his face. It was the expression of someone who's entire life had been leading up to this moment.
"HINATA!" He shouted. "I WOULD LIKE VERY MUCH TO ACCOMPANY YOU TO FIGHT MADARA UCHIHA!"
She couldn't help but smile back at him, just a little. "Permission granted! Let's go!"
"EXCELLENT!" Gai turned forwards. In front of them, a very large writhing monster stood behind a very small and infinitely more terrifying man. The Taijutsu master, grinning like a manic (Hinata was quickly trying to take back any statements she'd made on his objectivity) held out an arm and made a thumbs up. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" He shouted. "IT HAS BEEN AN HONOUR! EIGHTH GATE-" (oh, shit, thought Hinata) "OPEN!"
He plunged the thumb into his chest.
Madara scowled. "What is that." He demanded.
Tenseigan. Replied Zetsu, sounding agitated for the first time Madara had heard. Hamura's dojutsu. Opposite side of the family tree. Oh, this is probably why Obito wanted me to keep an eye on her...
"Can I beat her?" Madara asked, simply.
Its an equal dojutsu to yours. Zetsu replied, equally simply.
"Powers?"
Fragile powerup, chakra nullification. I...Don't know if she can use the truth seeking orbs or not.
Madara's eyes narrowed. Unknowns. How he hated them. He'd only been confident taking on Hashirama because there hadn't been any alternatives. That and, inside, he'd known he had the capacity to win. But this girl...
As much as he ached to tousle with her, the plan was too close to fruition to risk it now.
"Slow her down." He instructed.
What? Zetsu sounded affronted. If I try and possess her with that cloak she'll be able to-
"You want this as much as I do. Can you keep her occupied for another ten seconds?" Madara interrupted.
There was a millisecond pause.
Yes, came the reply, and then Zetsu was gone.
Madara jumped backwards, landing atop the growing Ten-Tails, and waited.
Naruto's eyes opened, and he was laying on his back in his mindscape. The room was darker than usual, lit only by a few floating lights high above him, but that was more than enough to illuminate that he was still in a bloody sewer. "Getting real sick of this place..." he grumbled, sitting up. "Kyuubi! You there?"
"Gone, for the most part." Said another voice. Naruto turned to see...some dude in a white robe, apparently. Sure, why not, nothing else in here makes sense. "There are fragments." The dude admitted, gesturing up at the air above them. "See those? You've got chakra from all nine Bijuu up there. Kurama knew all the tricks you can pull with something like that, of course. Love that guy."
"Uh, cool?" Naruto stood, taking the young man in. He looked...entirely unobtrusive, really. Brown hair, paler skin than standard... "Uh, who you be? I'm more used to voices in my head than you'd think, but usually there's some reason for them to show up..."
"Oh, my bad." The guy jumped up, holding out a hand, grinning a wide, friendly grin. "Good to meet you! I'm Ashura Otsutsuki. Professional shitbag extraordinaire."
"Oh, wait, you can get that as a profession?" Naruto smiled back, shaking the hand. "I've just been doing it in my off-time!"
"Oh don't put yourself down, you're a natural." Ashura chuckled, stepping back. "So, yeah. Why am I in your head? Great question. Uh, I'm sort of...a ghost?"
"A ghost?" Naruto deadpanned.
"Sort of. To be fair this is like the first time this has happened properly I'm not super sure on the process." Ashura looked a little sheepish. "I'm your ancestor. But like, hella far back. My Dad's the sage of six paths."
"Oh." Naruto blinked. "For real?"
"Yep."
"Damn. My Dad's the fourth Hokage, which beats...basically everything except that."
"Yeah, pops is pretty cool. Anyway since I'm basically ninja Jesus, when I died I turned into a force ghost, and this is that. It's pretty neat." Ashura stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned away. "Right, yeah, shit, we should probably focus, we've got stuff to decide...most importantly, what we're doing about your ongoing NDE."
Naruto frowned. "ND-oh, near death experience, got it."
"How do I know more modern vocab than you."
"Hey fuck you, I literally never went to school!"
"Hehehe." Ashura sniggered. "But yeah, you're totes dying."
"Bummer." Naruto frowned, and sighed. "Alright, hit me. What's the gimmick?"
"Gimmick?" Ashura asked.
"The gimmick. Checkov's gun if they bothered to hint it earlier, Deus Ex Machina if they didn't." Naruto cracked his knuckles. "How you gonna get me back in the fight?"
"You really wanna go back out there?" Ashura checked, looking concerned. "You've got no Bijuu anymore. No KCM. And your body has literally no chakra in it right now."
"Eh, no big deal." Naruto waves his hand dismissively. "I'll manage. There's a bunch of natural chakra around: if I plan it right, I can probably get like a full hundred clones in sage mode. At the very least I can support Sasuke."
"The Ten Tails might end up taking all the natural chakra in the immediate area." The ghost warned.
"Wow, you say that like I give a shit." Naruto looked him dead in the eyes. "Buddy. I don't care what the odds are. You're talking to the kid who became a ninja on zero talent, zero real education, zero friends, and a power source that actively wanted to kill him. I'll crawl over to Madara if I have to."
"You won't let anything stop you?" Ashura asked.
Naruto smirked. "I never have before."
Ashura looked at him for a moment. Then made a relieved noise. "Thought so. You're perfect."
"Uh." That wasn't a complement Naruto had ever received before. "Exqueeze me?"
"You aren't me, Naruto Uzumaki. But you've certainly inherited some of my traits." Ashura walked up, and put a hand on his shoulder. "The most important one of which, by far, is determination. The drive to keep trying even when everyone tells you you can't succeed. In you, Naruto, is a burning desire to prove the world wrong."
"Hm?" Naruto tilted his head. "Oh, sure, kinda. At first. But I've actually met some real nice people since this whole shebang started. People I need to protect." He shrugged. "I'm not trying to prove the world wrong, here. I'm trying to keep it safe."
Ashura looked surprised, for a moment. Then he laughed aloud. "Oh, even better. Then you've learned what I had the hardest time learning. Naruto Uzumaki: I choose you."
"...wait was that a Pokemon-"
There was a bright flash.
Sasuke woke up in his mindscape, and looked around, extremely confused. His, of course, was carefully and artfully designed; a replica of the Uchiha district, though with Naruto and Hinata's individual homes dropped in in certain key places. He'd even built in a day-night cycle, so the moon was hanging high in the sky and illuminating everything in...not the cool white he was used to. It was red.
He looked up to the roof of his own house, and narrowed his eyes. "Who are you and how are you affecting my mindscape?" He asked the dark haired figure in a white robe.
"Because I'm Indra Otsutsuki." The man replied, looking down at him. His eyes were red, with three tomoe. "Fuck you, I can do whatever I want."
"Oh. Fair enough." Sasuke shrugged, then frowned. "Hold on, did you knock me out?"
"In a way." Indra dropped down, landing on the gravel pathway and walking over to him. "Though the biological process would have happened regardless. Sasuke, you mind telling me what in the seven hells you were doing?"
"Mind telling me why you're such an asshole?" Sasuke retorted, before he could help himself.
"Well considering the only reason I'm here is because of how similar we are, that's what my brother would call a 'self burn'." Indra replied, crossing his arms. "For real though. You were literally just killing yourself."
"Oh, right, that." Sasuke shrugged. "Naruto was dying. I made him not die."
"You weren't saving him. You were trying to pump chakra into an ex-Jinchurikki." Indra replied, flatly. "You were about to join him."
"Okay admittedly, I was mid-panic at the time." Sasuke allowed. "But I needed to keep him alive long enough for someone to come and resurrect him, so it worked out."
"Why bother?"
Sasuke's eyes narrowed again. That was too far. "Excuse the fuck out of you?"
"His Bijuu was extracted. His combat ability was greatly diminished. You're fighting for your life." Indra listed. "Some might say that you were wasting your time, and should have left him in order to fight alongside Hinata."
"Direct me to the people who say so, and I'll go kick their asses." Sasuke replied hotly, a flame of righteous indignation blooming in his stomach. "Two problems with that statement. Problem one: Naruto could kill Madara with two D-rank jutsu and a paperclip if he really had to. Anyone who ever decides he isn't the biggest threat in the room, whatever state he's in, is making a fatal error." Sasuke leaned back. "Problem two: He's my teammate. That means he's family. I shouldn't need to qualify that with anything else."
Indra looked at him curiously for a while. "No." He said eventually, slumping slightly. "You shouldn't. If only I had thought the same...but I suppose that's why you're here. We didn't just need a pair who could follow in our footsteps, as so many have before you. We need two brothers who can be better."
He straightened. "Sasuke Uchiha." Indra said. "I choose you."
"...Wait was that a Pokemon-"
There was a bright flash.
"Reference?" Said Naruto and Sasuke at once, before immediately turning to see each other.
"NARUTO!"
"SASUKE!"
They collided into each other.
"Holy fuck dude I was so worried-"
"You were worried? I thought I was dead-"
"I thought you were dead!"
"I feel like my situation was worse-"
"Fuck off I had to watch!"
Across from them, stood nearby in the empty white void, Ashura glanced sheepishly across at Indra. "Can...can we-"
"We are not hugging." Indra stated, not looking at him.
"Please?"
"No."
"It's been millennia!"
"Tough."
"You're no fun." Ashura pouted.
A ghost of a smile crossed Indra's face. "Nope."
"Children, please. All of you." Boomed an old voice. "We have a limited amount of time, and I have a lot of dope exposition to drop on you, so we'll have to be quick."
Naruto and Sasuke extricated themselves from each other, and turned to see...
"God?" Sasuke guessed, at the exact same time that Naruto said "Gramps?"
"Neither, I'm afraid." Said a man who did look an awful lot like Hiruzen Sarutobi. Except that he had two Rinnegan in his eyes, a black staff across his lab, and a great red rinnegan with Sharingan tomoe in it. Rinne-Sharingan? Sharinnegan? Oh yeah, and he was floating.
"I'm the guy they've been referencing since, like, the very start of this whole thing. I believe your teammate has already met my brother.." He told them. "My name is Hagoromo Otsutsuki. The Sage of Six Paths."
Hinata looked across at Gai, and in absolute horror, thought oh, fuck, I don't know if I can heal that. Hearts aren't meant to do that.
On the other hand, Gai looked like he was being possessed by Ares, Hades, Zeus, Son Goku (the bijuu and the anime character) and General Chaos all at once. His hair was red, his skin was black (A, watching from a distance, internally gave Gai the N word pass) and the air around him was literally on fire.
It was terrifying, and that was good. If Hinata's instincts were screaming at her to stay the hell away from him, hopefully Madara's might be doing the same.
She focused back on their target-
And the Tenseigan was the only reason she didn't get her head punched off.
She spun back to Gai in shock as she ducked, and his fist thrust barely over her. For his following kick, she had to jump up, and wouldn't have been able to avoid the elbow that came next if not for Gai freezing up in place, muscles clenching and pain on his face.
"WHAT THE HELL?" She demanded-
Then froze, as she saw the shadows crawling across her once-teacher's body.
"You know, I must admit." Tutted the black, chakra-built thing attached to Gai. "I really wasn't expecting any of your ilk to become a real problem. Especially after that nonsense with the clan massacre (which, by the way, I had nothing to do with)."
"Zetsu?" Hinata gaped. "You can fight?"
"Not really, no." Zetsu chuckled. "But he can."
Oh no.
"HINATA!" The half of Gai's face that remained his own was staring at her pleadingly. "RUN! I...CAN'T-"
And then he blasted towards her.
"You're the Sage of Six Paths?" Naruto's jaw dropped.
"Yes. That is what I just said." Replied Hagoromo.
"Oh, man." Sasuke blew out a breath. "Yeah the world's kinda gone to shit since you left."
"Oh, I'm aware." Hagoromo rolled his eyes. "Even though I left someone the duty of making that not happen."
"Hey! I'm not immortal either, dad!" Ashura shouted from the sidelines.
"No, I suppose not." the Sage sighed. "I would like to blame it all on Black Zetsu, but I suppose humanity will always be driven to conflict in some degree. Whether that desire is greater than their desire for companionship and community...well, I suppose that remains to be seen."
"Oh yeah, speaking of Black Zetsu." Sasuke held up a hand. "What in the name of your left testacle is actually going on?"
"Right. Exposition." Hagoromo waved a hand, and a tapestry appeared in the space behind him, unrolling to reveal a...
"Is that...is that a PowerPoint presentation?" Naruto snorted.
"And what's wrong with that?" Hagoromo narrowed his eyes, flicking a finger and causing the title "history of the world" to appear with a very flashy animation. It was in comic sans.
"Dad-" Indra sighed-
"Not now, son, I haven't been able to dramatically explain anything for millenia. Let me have this." Hagoromo coughed, and his voice dropped by about an octave. He flicked his finger, and the screen did one of those showy particulate transitions as it switched to the next slide. "Now then. Even I do not have the complete story. For that, you will have to wait until...I don't know, a sequel anime starring your children. Regardless, a long time ago, there was a world. It contained mankind, and an abundance of other life, from the mighty beasts, to the smallest insects, to the grasslands and trees. Conjured by (or perhaps responsible for) this life, was an energy field. One that surrounds and penetrates all living things..."
"The Force." Sasuke breathed.
"...No. Nature Energy, Sage Chakra."
Naruto looked like his mind had been blown "Oh my God Senjutsu is totally just the Force-"
"Anyway." Hagoromo interrupted. "Certain beings, the Sage creatures, came to be. Born of the natural energy, and capable of harnessing it. So the world remained for some time, until...She came." The slide changed, to reveal a woman with white hair, pale skin, and Byakugan. "Kaguya Otsutsuki. My mother."
"Wow. That's coming out of absolutely nowhere." Naruto blinked. "Sure would suck if she showed up last second and replaced the final boss fight."
"It sure would." Hagoromo nodded. "Let's hope that doesn't happen. Now, Kaguya brought something with her. A seed, or perhaps an egg. It was both plant and creature, the ultimate tool of the Otsutsuki clan. What it grew into...was something called the Shinju Tree. An enormous tree with roots that slowly spread across the entire planet. It fed upon natural energy, grew, and bore fruit."
Sasuke frowned. "Wait, you said this Kaguya chick 'came'. First of all, hehe, 'came', second of all, came from where exactly?"
"Space." Hagoromo answered.
"...You're kidding me."
"Nope. Specifically, another dimension of space. At least I think so, they certainly can travel between dimensions." Hagoromo shifted, almost nervously. "This may be somewhat hard to believe. But the Otsutsuki clan is a clan of dimension hopping space wizards. They seed life-bearing planets with God Trees, consuming all life on them, bringing home the fruit to use as fuel, and abandoning the husks they leave behind."
"...Wow." Sasuke summarised. "If I hadn't been fighting a Snake-Man in a cave with a sentient shark-sword and the summoned spirit of my dead brother like, less than an hour ago? There is no way I would believe you. But at this point pretty much anything is possible."
"But our planet isn't a dead husk." Naruto pointed out. "I mean, not that any of us have felt really alive in a while, EYOO!" He made finger guns, then hi-fived Sasuke. "No for real though, what happened?"
"Most planets that the Otsutsuki 'farmed' were populated only by mere animals. Yet humanity was sentient. They were equal to the Otsutsuki in intellect, if not in sophistication or power. And the Otsutsuki were...compatible with them." Hagoromo coughed. "Kaguya fell in love."
"Awww..." Naruto swooned, while Sasuke made a grossed out face.
"Indeed. Mother grew fond of a certain human ruler, and-" the Sage of Six Paths was blushing, "Look, you can extrapolate what happened next. Regardless, Kaguya decided that she didn't actually want to destroy the entire world. So, she betrayed her clan and did the unthinkable: Ate the fruit of the Shinju Tree. Unprocessed, pure, with absolutely no idea what the consequences would be. As it turns out, the result was...this." He pointed at his own head. "The Rinne-Sharingan. And also Rinnegan too, because, you know, why not. Kaguya suddenly held all of the chakra in the world. Ninjutsu chakra, of the kind you are all most used to. For that is what the God Tree does, convert the natural variety into the much more malleable, 'standard' version. Mother ruled as a benevolent Goddess, became the most powerful being in the world...but only the world. She feared that the Otsutsuki would learn of her betrayal, and send pursuers to reclaim what she had stolen and destroy all she cared about. So she enacted a power known as the Infinite Tsukiyomi."
Sasuke winced. "Having seen the ordinary version of the jutsu, I'm very much afraid of what it can do with the infinite prefix stuck in front of it."
"It was about what you might expect, from the name." Hagoromo explained. "It allowed her to entrap living souls in the grasp of the Shinju Tree, showing them endless dreams while draining the chakra from their bodies. She only did it to certain groups at a time, but humanity still began to fear her. Those that were entrapped...became what you know today as Zetsu."
"Oh, fuck." Naruto muttered.
"And the very first human to receive this treatment, whom Kaguya allowed to maintain his consciousness, and granted certain special powers to...was her human husband. Who you now know as Black Zetsu."
"Oh, fuck." Sasuke exclaimed. "She put her husband in a tree? And turned him into a fucking shadow demon?"
"From what I'm told, mother was...changed, after eating the fruit." Hagoromo sighed. "Perhaps the consequences were greater than she thought."
"Still not seeing how we're all still alive and well, though." Naruto pointed out. "And not, you know. Also in a tree."
Hagoromo smiled. "For that, you may thank me and my brother. We were born some time after she ate the fruit, but before she started...Treeing people. What mother didn't realise for some time was that we had inherited a significant portion of her chakra. I developed the Rinnegan, and my brother Hamura, the Tenseigan. But as we slowly discovered what she was doing...what she would do to us if she found out...we hid them from her. We went to the Sage creatures to learn what she wasn't telling us, and they taught us how to wield the weapon she could not: Natural Energy, pure and unaltered. We became the first Sages."
Naruto didn't break eye contact, but held a hand out to his side and beckoned. Sasuke obligingly pulled a scroll from his pocket, unsealed it to reveal a box of popcorn, and handed some over.
"Of course, with our mother's dojutsu, there was no way to hide our burgeoning powers from her forever. When we were still young men, not much older than yourselves, she grew enraged and attempted to reclaim what we had 'stolen' from her. With our newfound Senjutsu abilities, we were able to fend her off. Until..."
Hagoromo pinched his forehead. "Have I mentioned that Kaguya was absolutely batshit crazy?"
"It was implied." Naruto answered, through a mouthful of popcorn.
"Right. Well, as far as she was concerned, she needed Sage Chakra to combat ours. And the perfectly logical way to do that? She merged with the Shinju Tree."
"She..." Sasuke blinked. "Like. Like fusion in Dragon Ball? With a tree?"
"Yes. Like...in Dragon Ball." Hagoromo looked less than pleased with the comparison. "She became a true monster, inside and out. A beast that felt nothing but hunger for power. She became...the Ten-Tails."
"Oh, FUCK." Said Naruto and Sasuke, simultaneously.
"And then we had to fight it." Hagoromo smirked at their expressions. "It was myself and my brother against the most powerful creature on the planet. And let me tell you...
It was fucking biblical."
It was Hinata's turn to be absolutely bricking it, and oh boy, was she using that opportunity to its fullest.
"WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME!" She screamed, desperately flying away from her pursuer.
Might Gai was not demonstrating the incredible Taijutsu prowess that had earned him the nickname 'the maginificent Green Beast' (Though Hinata suspected he might have started that entirely on his own). He was swinging at her with reckless abandon, wild kicks and haymakers replacing his ordinarily flawless technique. Of course, that would be because his actions were being controlled by an inexperienced puppeteer, and Gai himself was fighting back against every single move.
"You are awfully resilient, you know that?" Black Zetsu tutted, from the other side of Gai's face. "For goodness sake, I'm only trying to make you murder a child..."
"HINATA!" Gai shouted at her, struggling to even get the words out. "FLEE! MY BODY WILL GIVE OUT IN JUST A FEW SECONDS!"
"I CAN'T!" She shouted back, grimacing. Even besides the fact that she knew he would die when this technique ended; a few seconds was all Madara would need to absorb the Ten-Tails. The Juubi's power in the hands of someone actually cognisant of it? The very concept terrified her. Desperately, she turned aside two of Gai's punches, then twisted around and brought an axe kick down on his head.
Gai blurred.
Space itself seemed to bend around him, and his third punch took her in the stomach before her next attack could land.
Without the Tenseigan cloak, it would have obliterated her entire torso. As was, it only tore a gaping hole in it, sending her tumbling away to crash through a nearby rock and land on the ground. Her cloak had shattered upon the impact, because of course it had, which left her bleeding profusely onto the stone on her knees and significantly slower as Gai blasted down towards her and-
Just stack all your powers use all your powers right now!
"FOURTH GATE OPEN!" She shouted, using Kesshotoketsu to cover Gai in crystal as her skin flashed red, then white, as her Vishnu covered her body and blocked off the hole in her stomach.
He shattered through the crystal immediately, but it bought her barely enough time to dive haphazardly away as his fist buried into the earth just beside her head. She froze him there again, making hand seals, and then when he'd ripped free he was faced by half a dozen shadow clones, which he tore rapidly through but not before two or three of them could punch him with tenketsu strikes. Not that any of those did anything. Blocking his chakra points in this state was like trying to close the top of an erupting volcano. "KESSHOTOKETSU-CHIDORI SHARP SPEAR!" She hurled her strongest standard attack at him as he turned back to her.
A perfectly ordinary punch obliterated it, and he charged.
"OH COME ON!" Maybe the Kage are having a better time of it than I am?
"ATTAAAAAAACK!" Raikage A roared, leading the charge of some of the worlds strongest ninja on the forming Ten-Tails.
A very much not distracted Madara Uchiha glanced at them.
"RETREEEEEEAT!" Raikage A screamed, leading the charge of some of the world's strongest ninja away from a storm of fire and a giant blue sword.
Fuck.
Hinata grit her teeth, and span into a "LIONFIST-KESSHOTOKETSU-HEAVENLY SPIN!" that was barely able to block one kick from Gai, giving a clone time to substitute with her to stop the following punch from burying into her head.
Her Tenseigan glowed blue as she tried to call up another counter-chakra cloak, but she was still inexperienced and it took time, something she absolutely did not have. "WHEN WERE YOU PLANNING ON TELLING US YOU WERE THE WORLD'S MOST POWERFUL MAN!" She shouted at Gai, genuinely a bit miffed about it. Seriously, Might Dai had only been seven swordsmen level with the Eighth Gate, what bullshit was this? Then again, Dai had still been a Genin even as a grown man, while Gai had been a rival to Kakashi, who was almost Kage level...
"HUMILITY IS A VERY YOUTHFUL TRAIT!" Came the predictable response. "AND EVEN I WAS NOT AWARE OF THE-DUCK!"
She did, then jumped up to avoid a low sweep. Gai grabbed her foot, and yanked her back down, slamming her ten feet deep into the floor. Well, that leg's broken.
She pulled out a certain lightning release technique she'd used once against Sai, blowing up everything around her and allowing her to hop up on her good leg, landing some distance away and firing a bolt of electricity at Gai.
It hit him.
It didn't really do anything though.
"Hurry up Madara..." Black Zetsu muttered, whirling Gai's body to face her again. "I've only got a few more milliseconds here..."
Forcing her broken leg back into place, not so much healing it as using the Vishnu to ignore the problem, Hinata was able to smile. Zetsu said earlier that he wasn't sure how the Tenseigan worked. He doesn't know I know he's telling the truth.
She turned, and charged for the Ten-Tails.
"Oh no you don't!" Zetsu snarled, charging after her. Gai's body was still faster than her, and she'd barely made it halfway before he was almost within punching distance of the back of her head. Her wings blasted air faster than they ever had before, her 360-vision simultaneously tracking Zetsu's rate of approach and the distance between her and her target.
To her relief, she was barely able to make it.
Not to the Ten-Tails, of course.
To a long, thin fissure in the ground she'd spotted, formed by a missed attack from a rampaging Juubito.
She grabbed the lip with both arms and ignored the burn as she flung herself downwards, thrusting her wings outwards to dig into the rocks to either side of her and halt her descent (for those at home keeping track, this meant that she was now hurting basically everywhere).
Zetsu wasn't able to stop Gai fast enough, he went careening right over the gap before trying to slide to a stop. By which point, Hinata had already jumped back up...and started running away again.
Because really, how else was she going to beat Might Fucking Gai.
"Get back here!" Zetsu snarled, charging right back after her-
But he stumbled, and fell to one knee. "Dammit." He hissed, trying to stand once more, and collapsing again.
That was what Hinata had been waiting for. She about turned, and tore back towards him.
"No. No, no, not now." Zetsu growled, grin finally falling from his face. "Just a few more seconds-" Hinata wasn't giving him a few more seconds. She sprinted in, batting away a weak attempt at a block, and pulled one arm back, generating a lionfist. The Tenseigan cloak wasn't charged yet, but if he was made out of chakra, this should still work.
"Get the fuck out of my teacher!" She snarled, throwing her arm forwards.
It didn't reach it's destination.
Gai's fist snapped out, grabbing her about the neck and lifting her off the ground, before slamming her into the floor. She gasped in pain, vision blurring, neck damaged possibly seriously, even as Gai's voice screamed a pained "NO!"
"Three lessons, little girl." Zetsu chuckled, clearly having a whale of a time even as his host's body burned beneath him. "Lesson one; I may know little about the Tenseigan, but I worked with Neji long enough to understand the Gokei. Lesson two; your eyes' truth-seeing relies on observation of biochemistry, which I don't have. But I learned rather quick how to fake the little signs that a truth or lie gives off. Lesson three; if you maintain a facade of perfect confidence for long enough, and then it drops? People will scramble to capitalise on the perceived 'weakness'." He pulled his other fist upwards. "And Madara would be furious at me for wasting time gloating like this, so lets minimise the rest of the risk. He was right, after all. I am desperate to see mt darling again."
What the hell does that-
"Goodbye, little Hamura."
Hinata thrust up with a chidori, but it barely grazed the skin of Gai's shoulder. It was nowhere near enough. Face a rictus of hurt and rage fist tore down towards her head.
Kishimoto, slamming his hands on his desk: "HE DID IT AGAIN! HE'S FUCKING HEADCANONING AGAI-"
The Boruto manga is flipping enlightening, guys. The anime is trash, but the stuff they're dropping in the book is crazy. I'm making the stuff about Black Zetsu up, but the deets on the Ten-Tails? The God Tree? I'm extrapolating a lot from what they say, but...It definitely wasn't there before Kaguya showed up. And the Otsutsuki was no joke.
The stuff about Hagoromo's past was just me trying to put together a vaguely consistent plotline from the (*cough* contradictory *cough*) stuff in the anime, manga, and filler.
And Gai...is Gai. Namely, an absolute Mad Lad.
