AN: Here we go again. A LadyNoir chapter. I had a lot of fun writing this and hope you might enjoy it, too.
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Chapter 7: Too Bad Life Is Not That Easy
"Chat? Do you have a minute?"
Chat Noir, in the process of heading home after their usual patrol through Paris, paused in his steps and looked back at Ladybug. She still stood at the edge of the metal beam that was part of the Eiffel Tower's top construction, one arm wrapped around her middle. Her eyes were cast to the side, across the gleaming city.
"Of course, Milady." He jumped back and curiously cocked his head. "What can I do for you? Do you need my help with something?"
She hesitated, biting her lip, before she sat down, her legs dangling off the beam. "There's something I'd like to ask you."
Chat Noir sank down next to her. "I'm all ears," he said, grinning as he tipped against his artificial cat ears.
But Ladybug didn't even roll her eyes at his joke. "It's about… about you and Viperion."
"What about us?" he asked, unable to help the smile that tugged at his lips. It really was incredible how merely someone mentioning his boyfriend made him happy.
"I've been thinking about what you told me. How you're both also in love with someone else. I think I get that. Because I feel the same."
"What's that, Bugaboo? Are you telling me you're finally ready for us to be more than just partners?" Chat said teasingly, even as he wasn't able to suppress the sudden flare of joy in his heart? Could it be? Was she returning his feelings, after all? Despite the feelings she had for that mystery other boy?
However, this time, she did roll her eyes, accompanied by an unnerved sigh. "Don't be ridiculous, Chat."
"Ouch! That hurts," he said, even as he tried to hide the true depth of how much her words hurt. "But why is that idea so alien to you? Am I really that off-putting?"
"Of course, you are not!" she assured him without hesitation, and the small smile she gave him helped patch up his heart, too. "You're great and I really like you. But… but we don't even know each other! How can you say you love me when you know nothing about me, about who I am?"
"But I do know you," he objected. "You're strong, trustworthy, caring. You help everyone, no matter the cost. You're smart and creative, always know what to do, even when your plans often make no sense to me at first. I trust you, wholeheartedly. I don't need to know your real name or anything else about your life, because I already know you."
With an adorable blush on her cheeks, Ladybug looked away. "That… that was actually beautiful, kitty cat. Thank you. But I fear the real me is quite different. I'm too clumsy, and when it comes to the important things, I never have the courage to pull through with them."
Having difficulties picturing her that way, Chat Noir shrugged. "Maybe that's what you do, but deep inside, you're still the same person. As for me… My 'normal' self might as well be non-existent. It is nothing but a front, not really me. It's just a mask I was taught to keep up at any moment. My family doesn't really know me at all, and I'm only learning how to have friends, always scared to make a mistake. The only time I actually can be myself is up here, where nobody judges me. So you already know me, all that's important about me."
Ladybug threw him a long look, thoughtful, unreadable. Then she averted her gaze, a weird shimmer in her eyes, and whispered, "I'm sorry."
Chat Noir's shoulders slumped, his eyes dropping as well. "Yeah, me too." It had been a far fetch anyway… But still, her rejection kept nagging at him. It was as he'd always feared. What he did and said; it wasn't enough. He wasn't enough.
But no, that wasn't true. He had Luka, he reminded himself, and Luka was definitely enough to make him happy. More than enough. He would have liked for him and Ladybug to be more than friends, but he didn't need it.
He took a deep breath and pushed aside all those hurt feelings. Her suddenly falling in love with him had been a stretch anyway, and what she'd asked for—who she needed now—was a friend. So her friend he would be.
"So, what was it you wanted to talk about?" he asked in a lighter voice. "You're feeling the same? Are you in love with more people than just that one boy you told me about?"
At first, he thought she wouldn't want to talk anymore. But then she threw him a measuring look before a grateful smile spread across her face. "Yeah, I am. Or… at least I think I am. And what I wanted to talk about is… How do I know what to do? How did you know what to do?"
At that, Chat Noir laughed. "You think I know what I'm doing?" He shook his head, still chuckling. "I don't. I… Viperion and I, we just roll with it. Neither of us is Bunnyx; we don't know what the future will bring. So we just make the best of what we have, and think about the next step when it arrives."
Ladybug hummed. She pulled one leg up and wrapped her arms around it, her head resting on her knee. "When you say it like that, it sounds so simple. But to me, it's all so… so confusing."
Chat Noir thought back toward the beginning, of when he and Luka had been trapped in that locker. Of what a mess his mind had been in those minutes and the hours that had followed. Yeah, he could emphasis on the confusing part all too well. "How about you just tell me about what's confusing you? Maybe just talking about it helps you sort through your feelings."
Ladybug looked up, a little perplexed. "You'd do that? Listen to me rambling about… about some other boys?"
Chat leaned back on his propped-up elbows and grinned. "Sure. Give me all the juicy details. I can't give you advice when I don't know what's up, after all."
Her smile nearly made his heart stop beating, so beautiful. And he wasn't even joking, he idly noticed. Just like with Luka when he got that dreamy smile as he told him something Marinette had done, the idea of Ladybug swooning about her crushes didn't put him off as he'd once expected it would. In the end, it was just another way to learn more about her. And, maybe, to help her, too.
"Okay, um… uh… right…" she hummed, hiding her face against her knee. "I… don't even know where to start."
Chat felt the urge to wrap an arm around her and pull her into a hug, but held himself back, nonetheless. He didn't want her to take such an action the wrong way, especially not now. "How about you start at the beginning?" he suggested. "What about that boy you once told me about?"
She took another moment to compose herself, then nodded. "Right, that sounds sensible. So… there's this boy I've been in love with for… I don't know, it feels like forever." She chuckled, a little embarrassed. "He's… he's amazing, you know? His family situation isn't easy, especially when it comes to his father. But even with that difficult background, he's… he's so purely good, you know? Kind and understanding, with never a single bad word, not even about the meanest people."
Chat listened quietly, an absent smile on his lips. Her description reminded him of Luka. He didn't even know who his father was, and even though he didn't talk about this often, Chat knew it weighed on him more than he let on. And the rest certainly fit, too.
"He sounds like a good person."
Ladybug nodded. "He is," she sighed. "One of the best I've ever met. It's as if… he's perfect, you know? Everything he does he excels in, everything he says is so well thought through, he helps and supports wherever he can. He's funny, too. I love his sense of humour."
"Are you sure he's even real?" Chat teased, even with that fond smile tugging at his lips. He could tell that Ladybug really had it bad for this boy. "I mean, he has to have a flaw, too. Maybe he's ugly? At least a little?"
Ladybug's lips twitched, her eyes wandering across the city below. "Nope, not ugly either. Not even one little bit. His hair and those gorgeous eyes..." she said dreamily.
"No, no, no, I can't believe that," Chat Noir exclaimed in mock-offence as he jumped to his feet. "Surely he can't be as handsome as I am. I mean, come on! With my fabulous looks, I could be a supermodel." He even put in the effort to adopt one of his well-practiced poses, mimicking the one Adrien used on the poster that covered the entire wall of a nearby house.
"Mmh, if you say so."
Ladybug giggled, and Chat Noir couldn't help grinning, either. Fooling around with her was so much fun, and knowing that she at least occasionally found his jokes funny helped, too.
"Anyway… he really sounds like a decent guy," he said as he sat down again. Like I would want to be, if only I could do what I want, he thought to himself. "I'm glad to hear you have such a worthy partner."
Ladybug let out another sigh, heavier this time. "If only…" Puzzled, Chat Noir cocked his head at her, and after a few moments of awkward silence, she continued. "We're… not a couple. He doesn't even know how I feel about him."
"What? But… why haven't you told him? If your feelings for him are this strong, then why are you hesitating?"
"I'm not hesitating!" she cried. "But it's not that simple. I can't just… just go to him and tell him that I love him. He's so so so far out of my league. He's perfect, everything, his life full of adventure and excitement. And I… I'm just me, just an ordinary girl with an ordinary life, nothing special, boring. I'm lucky and grateful that he notices me at all, that we occasionally talk. But everything else is just… just fanciful dreaming. He'd never notice me as anything more than a simple friend."
Chat grimaced. Hearing her talk so self-deprecatingly about herself hurt. "I don't think you're boring," he said quietly, smiling as Luka's voice saying those exact same words echoed through his mind. "You're special, in every way, Milady."
She gave him a pained smile, but then turned away again, gazing into the distance. Chat Noir wanted to say more, to convince her of her worth just like Luka had done for him. But he felt that she wouldn't appreciate his praise of her right now. "So, you're just silently pining, without ever getting anywhere?" he murmured. "I can see how frustrating that's got to be."
"You have no idea," she whined, shaking her head. "It's… it's hopeless."
"So… what about the other one you have feelings for, then?" he asked, out of curiosity but also to hopefully distract her or even cheer her up. Seeing her so sad just didn't sit right with him.
Ladybug sniffled, but quickly caught herself again. "Right. We only started out as friends so far. We don't know each other for that long yet, and it's all just developing, you know? I'm pretty sure that he has feelings for me beyond just friendship, but so far, I didn't feel like I could honestly return those feelings. Not when I'm still thinking about someone else."
"And that changed after we talked back then?" Chat Noir guessed, seeing where she was going.
Ladybug nodded. "Yeah, it… gave me some perspective, I guess. It gave me room to think about what I feel for Lu—for the other one."
"And that is?"
Ladybug sat up straighter, both legs dangling again and a soft smile on her lips. "I… really like him. What I feel for him is not the same as what I feel for the first one, but it's still real, you know? I tried to see him as just a friend, but I see now that I've just been lying to myself. Around him, I feel… like I can be myself. Secure. Warm. It's still awkward sometimes, but he sees right through me, understands me. It's as if he knows me. He makes me feel good, light, happy. And… and I want to be that for him, too. Someone who makes him happy."
Chat Noir ducked his head, averting his eyes so she wouldn't see the shadow of sadness and pain on his face. The person she'd just described… that was him. Or it was who he wanted to be for her. A friend who eventually became more than a friend, someone who made her feel good and who she cared enough about to want to make him feel good, too.
"That doesn't sound so complicated," he murmured, voice rough with emotions. "There's nothing wrong with taking the simple way, and you have the right to be happy. If you already know that second boy likes you, too, then it should be easy to tell him how you feel."
"Maybe," Ladybug said, quietly. "I just don't want to hurt him. So what if it doesn't work out? What if I can't forget the first boy? What if my feelings for him overshadow everything else? It would ruin everything. And that wouldn't be fair to him."
Letting out a heavy sigh, Chat Noir reached for her hand and squeezed it, drawing her attention from where she'd chewed on her lower lip, lost in her worries. "You're overthinking it, Milady. The simple truth is that you'll never know for sure how things will go. All you can do is try your best. And in this case, doing your best means being honest. Tell this second boy how you feel. About him, but also about the other one. Let him decide whether he can accept you, with all your feeling. If he can, great. And if not, you can still eventually tell the first one how you feel. Or, if everything else fails, you'll always have me."
Ladybug's laughter was like music to his ears, free and true. "Maybe you're right, kitty cat," she eventually said, sounding more relaxed than before. "It really does sound easy if you say it like this." She let out a deep sigh, then rose to her feet. "Thank you, Chat Noir. For listening. And for the advice. I… I better head home now. Just one thing…" She leaned down and placed a quick peck to his cheek. "See you soon, kitty cat!"
Chat Noir gazed after her as she jumped away without awaiting his reaction. But he would have been too dazed to do anything, anyway. With his heart beating in his throat, he reached up to where her lips had touched his skin. The spot still tingled.
It took him a minute to sort through his thoughts, but then a wide grin spread across his face. Talking to Ladybug like this just now, open and free, it had felt good. Right. Like their friendship had reached a new level, deeper and more mature. He would have to thank Luka for this when he next visited him. Because there was no doubt in him that this development was thanks to his influence, to the wider perspective his open-minded approach to love had given both him and Ladybug.
And who knew, maybe it would also help make them all be a little happier in their lives. He genuinely hoped that Ladybug would find a way to express her feelings and find happiness, in whatever way worked for her with those two boys. Because she deserved it. He was certainly already feeling happier for having sorted through his emotions, and for being with Luka, even as Ladybug was still as far out of his reach as she'd always been. And he hoped that Luka felt so, too, with Marinette as his own personal Ladybug.
A random thought occurred to Chat Noir then, one that made him laugh hysterically. He let himself fall back onto the metal beam, laughing into the wide open sky above him.
Because wouldn't it be too funny? If Ladybug was actually Marinette? If those two boys she'd talked about just now were him and Luka? If he and Luka were actually in love with the same girl, a girl who had a crush on them both? How easy everything would be? If only?
He laughed until his stomach hurt, and tears leaked from his eyes. Yeah… wouldn't that be great? Such a simple solution to all their problems and heartaches.
Too bad that life wasn't that easy…
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AN: Ah, yes... wouldn't that be easy? 😇
Next chapter: Some Lukanette bonding
