AN: Late again. I'm sorry...
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Chapter 25: Under The Moonlight...
On his way to Marinette's, Chat Noir thought about what and how he wanted to tell her. He didn't want to go like a bull at a gate and say that Luka had sent him to talk to her. First, it wasn't true. He'd wanted to do this anyway, and Luka's worries for her had only encouraged him to do it now. And then… however, this evening turned out, he didn't want it to cast a damaging light on Luka for not giving her space. They were still giving her space—just with more information and communication.
But then, maybe he wouldn't even get to talk to her at all. Grimacing, he remembered their last meeting—or, well, the last time she'd been aware that it was him. The school didn't count—when they'd almost kissed and he'd left her standing with barely any time to react. She had to think that he didn't like her, that he hadn't wanted for that kiss or anything else like it to happen. So the first thing he would have to do was rectify that misunderstanding.
However, when he reached her balcony, she wasn't there, and Chat almost laughed at himself for how much he'd come to expect her standing here. Surely she had enough other things to do than just idly standing around outside. Eyeing the skylight that lead to her room, he briefly hesitated. From all the times he and Ladybug had fought supervillains in there, he remembered that her bed was right below it, so she would hear him. Even though he hoped she wasn't asleep yet.
Knocking, he frowned when he heard voices coming from inside. That was odd. Did she have a visitor? That would be… most inconvenient. However, the voices abruptly fell silent before she opened the skylight, so it probably had only been the TV.
"Chat Noir?" she asked upon recognising him, clearly surprised. Or was she flustered about seeing him? He couldn't say for sure.
Shaking his head to chase away such too-hopeful thoughts, he smiled at her. "Hey. Yeah, it's me. I'm sorry to disturb you. Can we… talk?"
Biting her lip, Marinette crossed her arms in front of her. "Uhm… sure," she said, not meeting his eyes. "Let me just…"
Chat watched her carefully as she reached for her trademark blouse and put it on and then joined him on her balcony. Now that he knew what to look for, he could see what Luka had meant. Marinette was far more tense than usual, missing her easy cheerfulness. It almost pained him to see her like this, and even more than before, he hoped that him talking to her might help her in any way.
"So…?" she eventually asked, eying him with an unreadable look.
Chat cleared his throat. "Uh, right. Uhm… First, I hope I didn't wake you up? Or interrupted you?"
Marinette snorted with light amusement. "No, you didn't. I… I wasn't really doing anything important."
"Good." He took a deep breath. "I… wanted to talk about what happened the other day."
Her eyes grew wide and a deep blush pained her cheeks pink. A lovely sight, as he had to admit, but she said nothing, so he went on.
"First, I need to apologise for leaving you standing here, after… You know… That wasn't exactly gentleman-like, and I'm sorry for that. And I'd wanted to come here and talk to you earlier, too, but… I… There was a lot on my mind, and I needed some time to think."
Marinette snorted again, though not as amused as before this time. "Yeah, to that I can relate…"
Chat cocked his head at her, but she didn't elaborate, only averted her face and again chewed on her lip. He had to fight the sudden urge to pull it free with his own lips, to soothe away all worries. That wasn't his place—not yet, hopefully.
Instead, he beckoned her to follow him over to the railing, relieved when she followed after only a moment of hesitation. Holding her gaze and her attention, he swallowed and said, "Marinette, I came to tell you that… when I left after that near-kiss, I wasn't bailing because I didn't want it. I was… confused, I guess. Scared to make things too complicated."
She watched him with a strange expression. "And now?"
Chat smiled. "Now, I'm not scared anymore," he said with conviction. "And I don't want to waste any more time." He reached for her hand, cheering inwardly when she let him, and lightly caressed his thumb over her knuckles. "Marinette… I like you. A lot! Actually, I… I think… I'm in love with you." He gave her a moment to react, but when she only stared at him with wide eyes, he went on. "I know this probably comes as a surprise to you. And I didn't tell you this because I have any specific expectations. If you don't feel the same… then that's okay. I mean, I know you're with Luka, and I don't want to get between you two or something. I just… wanted you to know. To not treat my feelings for you like a secret that must stay hidden."
This time, he waited for her to react, his nerves too frayed to say more.
Marinette's eyes were unreadable, her expression too full for him to comprehend what might be going on inside her head. Slowly, she pulled her hand away from his, though not before giving him something of a reassuring squeeze. Turning, she leaned against the railing, her eyes shimmering as she gazed out over the city.
"I like you, too," she eventually whispered, her voice so low that he might not have heard it without his enhanced senses.
Chat's heart made a joyful leap. So Luka had been right! There was a chance, the possibility of them all…?
But he could also see that Marinette wasn't entirely comfortable, so he contained his feelings and stayed calm for her sake. He mimicked her position, leaving enough space between them to not impose on her. "But?"
At his question, Marinette let out a strangled noise and buried her face in her hands. "It's just like you said. It's all so complicated!"
Chat hummed in understanding, knowing just too well how she felt. "Maybe it helps to talk about it?" In the back of his mind, a memory sparked up, one that made him grin. About how he'd once said something similar to Ladybug. Well, in her case, talking had helped, so why not now as well? Communication was always good.
Marinette threw him a strange glance, her eyes unreadable. "I don't think it's that easy," she eventually said, going back to gazing unseeingly at the city in front of them.
"But what if it is?" Chat insisted. He didn't want to give up, not yet. He at least wanted her to know that… that there were many options to choose from. "How does this sound to you; you just tell me what feels so complicated to you, and maybe I can help clear some points up? Only if you want to, of course."
She made another strange strangled noise but then nodded, though hesitantly. "We can give it a try, I guess…"
She shifted her weight into a more relaxed position, and Chat waited for her to form the questions in her head.
"Does Luka know?" she eventually asked. She didn't look at him but instead was gazing at her hands.
"About my feelings for you? Yeah, he knows. I told him, back when I was still confused by these feelings, and… well, since then, he always encouraged me to tell you." He chuckled, a little sheepishly. "Guess I needed some time to process. But yeah, he knows. We keep no secrets from each other."
She made yet another strange sound and, wondering what was going on in her head, Chat watched her curiously from the corner of his eye. She was wringing her hands, still not looking at him, when another thought occurred to him. Had she maybe meant a whole different secret?
"It can be the same between us, eventually," he added cautiously. "If we were to get to know each other better, I wouldn't want to keep secrets from you, either."
Now, Marinette looked up at him after all, and her eyes were filled with… longing? Could that be right? "But isn't that forbidden?" Her voice was so weak, so brittle, that he felt a sudden urge to hug her. "The identities of superheroes are supposed to be a secret. An important secret."
So he'd been right about her thinking about another secret than merely his feelings for her…
Chat grimaced. She was probably thinking about her brief time as Multimouse and how Ladybug wouldn't give her a Miraculous ever again because he knew about her identity.
"They are," he agreed. "And it's true that the fewer people know about a secret the safer it is. But…" He fully turned to her again. "I don't think that nobody must know about them. I at least am not down with risking or downright destroying what few close relationships I have by keeping a secret. Especially when I don't even know why it's supposed to be such an iron-clad secret."
Marinette averted her eye again, but at least she didn't turn away. "So… you'd go behind Ladybug's back?"
"I—" Chat bit his lip. Would he do that? With Viperion, he'd had no choice but to tell him who he was, and telling Ladybug had felt futile. She had to know, right?. With Marinette, the situation would be different. "No, I wouldn't. She… gained a more important position lately, so if I were to tell you who I am, then I'd have to tell her about it. Lying to her about something like this wouldn't be fair. But no matter what she says, this is my secret. And I think I'm allowed to decide for myself with whom I share it."
He just hoped Ladybug would see it that way, too. And that she wouldn't try to take his Miraculous away instead.
Slowly, Marinette nodded, her lips pressed into a thin line. "I see…" She paused, mulling over even more thoughts in her head, then frowned. "I always thought you loved her, though. Ladybug, I mean. Has that changed?"
Chat's lips twitched into a smile. "No, it hasn't. I still love her. I mean, how could I not? She's brilliant, brave, always does everything she can to help others. She's kind, funny—when she wants to be—and so beautiful, and—" He broke off, blushing. Swooning about another girl was probably not the best way to convince Marinette of his feelings for her.
However, she didn't seem to mind, just watched him with a soft smile, and he shrugged, grinning sheepishly.
"So, how… how could this work?" she asked after another pause. "With you, Luka, and me, I mean." She shook her head, looking sad now. "Isn't that… too complicated?"
Chat shrugged. "It doesn't have to be. It can simply be an extension from how it is now, with each couple spending time together. You and Luka keep meeting as you do now and I come to visit either of you whenever I can manage to get away. Or whenever it works, we can also spend time together as three, if you like. But this is not something you or we would have to decide now. We'd have to see what suits us better. As long as we talk about everything that's important and don't keep our feelings or wishes hidden from one another, it can work. I'm sure of it."
Saying this out loud filled him with a sense of mild euphoria. Just imagining how it could be was enough to make him happy. Oh, how he hoped she'd agree to give it try.
Marinette leaned back against the railing, but this time with her back toward the city, gazing at the floor of her balcony. She looked thoughtful, chewing her lip, and Chat was content with giving her the time she needed and just watching her. She looked so cute like this.
"You were right," she eventually murmured. "Talking about it all helps." She laughed, weakly, then smiled at him. "Thank you. For coming here and…" She shrugged.
Relief and joy washed through him. "You're more than welcome." Without really thinking about it, Chat stepped closer toward her and reached for her hand.
Marinette let him take it, her cheeks turning red again. "I… I still need some time to think. But… at least it's less confusing now." She chuckled.
He smiled softly. "I'm glad to hear that. And don't worry… take all the time you need. I'm just glad I could help clear some things up."
"You were. But I think I should head inside now. It's getting late, and…"
She trailed off, and if possible, her blush deepened even further. Then, after a brief moment of hesitation, she stretched to stand on her toes and kissed his cheek. It was placed closer to his lips than an ordinary kiss, though, almost touching the corner of his mouth. Chat's heart leapt in his chest. If he only did so much as turning his head a tiny bit then they would be kissing for real. it would be so easy.
But Marinette had deliberately not kissed his lips, and he respected that. Even as holding back felt like the most difficult thing he'd ever done.
Pulling back, she all but beamed at him. "Thanks, Chat Noir. For everything!" Again, she squeezed his hands. "And I… I'll let you know when I made a decision. I know how to contact you, after all", she added with a light chuckle.
"True," he replied, smiling. And if she made the decision he hoped she would, Luka would be thrilled to deliver her message, too.
With her lips twitching, Marinette climbed back through the skylight down to her room after throwing him another cautious smile. "Have a good night."
Chat gazed after her, his heart filled with pleasant warmth and his mind whirling.
"Sweet dreams, Princess…"
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AN: Ah, if only he knew... O:)
