He had not expected much, but he'd hoped for more than this. He had fought and nearly died in the arena absent the mark of the brotherhood. He'd killed his own brother, a man he'd born no affection toward, but a brother all the same. He'd spilt blood for the House of Batiatus and all he'd been rewarded with was wine he did not drink, women he did not want, and gratitude from a dominus he did not know.
His position among the men had risen considerably; no longer something to be mocked, but a brother, a friend. It meant little to him in her absence. A day passed, then another, and more after that until he began to question if she had been no more than a fever dream. Something fabricated within his own head to cope with his life in the ludus, to give purpose to all the blood, a reason to rise every morning. All that tethered her to reality were feverish, desperate looks from the champion of Capua that matched his own, always searching for the girl upon the balcony and always coming up empty.
Days turned to weeks and weeks grew into months before she returned, standing on the balcony beside a man he did not recognize, as if it had been hours instead of months since the last time she'd done so. He need not fear Barca turning his distraction to advantage as all movement upon the sands had halted. "Dominus!" greeted the Beast of Carthage, a smile upon his face that seemed terribly out of character.
But he was not the only gladiator who seemed oddly pleased to see the man they called dominus, as if he were an old friend returned, and not the father of the dominus Crixus had known. "You see," said Octavia, smiling down at the men who greeted her grandfather. "Your return lifts the heart."
"Only for those still possessing one," Titus replied with a smile. "I can scarce recognize half the men and find many I recall strikingly absent. Where stands Doctore? Auctus?"
"Oenomaus is Doctore now," she explained. "Auctus fell in the arena against Crixus, one of the newer recruits."
"I recall the name from the ledger," said Titus. "A sapling of exceeding cost."
"He has already earned the mark and won several battles in the area," she told him, glancing to where Crixus currently stood beside Baraca. "Father thinks he may even be champion upon a day."
Crixus looked more like a wild beast than a man he'd stake the future of his house in, and yet … his eyes searched for Gannicus, the Celt who'd risen to prominence in his absence. Even in Sicilia he'd heard over embellished tales of the prowess of the Champion of Capua, but he looked to Titus much the same as when he'd left him. Ever a boy, overripe with squandered potential, whose true love was women, not the arena. Even now, the boy's attentions were focused on his granddaughter, not on the instruction Oenomaus had given. "He would be a welcome replacement for the current," he muttered.
Octavia could not bring herself to look where she knew he stood. It had been two long months since that night. She had not seen him nor spoken to him, or any from the ludus in that time. A trip to visit her grandfather in Sicilia had taken precedence, feeling almost necessary in the wake of what had transpired. It hurt to look at her mother and father, to be in the villa, to look down upon the ludus. Time away had done little to balm her wounds. "He has won countless battles for the House of Batiatus," she said, choosing to stick to something factual instead of letting her feelings influence her. "He's the greatest gladiator in the Republic."
"There is more to a champion than skill," her grandfather said. "Gannicus possesses little beyond talent with a blade. I have had several offers to make purchase of the man since arriving in Capua. If your man Crixus is as good as you say, we may have a new champion soon."
"You would sell Gannicus?" she asked, her head feeling light at the notion. What a fool she had been to waste precious moments in Sicilia while he still lived beneath her roof.
"Your father overinflates the man's value," said Titus. "I do not share his confidence."
"Apologies, but you have been gone for many years," she said, speaking out of turn though she knew she should not. "He is not the boy you knew. To send him away absent even proper chance …" Titus smiled as he watched her fluster, desperate to convince him of the man's value. She had gone too long under her father's guidance and he feared she would possess all the same shortcomings. "You should have a contest to see how the men perform," she said, surprising him. "Learn of the men beneath your roof before you deem them unworthy."
Had a man ever known greater torture? What had he ever done for the gods to curse him so?
She stood within his reach, mere steps away. It was all he could do to remain standing when a breeze blew the floral scent of her hair through him. To be denied her presence for so long had been agony, but to be at her side now and still unable to touch her was more than any man should be asked to endure. She would not even give him her eyes and he thought a crueler woman had never existed.
If Batiatus knew he'd not heard a single word being said, he did not show it. The man had been speaking for ages about the return of his father, about what was expected of him, of things that mattered very little to Gannicus and only served to prolong his pain. Until one word managed to slip through. "I'm to be sold?" he demanded, his hazy brain clearing instantly as he gaped at the man before him.
Batiatus seemed surprised to have finally garnered a reaction from the man. "Yes," he said. "But only if you should lose to one of the men. Prove yourself the man I know you are and you will remain within these walls. That is what you want, is it not?"
"Yes," he answered without hesitation.
Quintus nodded, glancing between the gladiator and his daughter, who had been rather fascinated with a spot on the floor since the man's arrival. Caesar had been a plague upon their house, leaving no blessings but nearly taking his daughter from him. He was not certain she would have returned from Sicilia at all had his father not made the trip himself. As much as allowing that night to pass may have cost him, it also presented opportunity. A blind man could see what stood before him now. The childish affection his daughter bore the man had grown into something else entirely. The man was in love with her; a desperate kind of love that he would do anything to keep. Men who fought for glory did well enough, but men who fought for love? They fought like gods. "Octavia," he called and she finally looked up from the ground. "See Gannicus returned to the ludus."
A slave's job and they both knew it, but Gannicus would certainly not protest and Octavia knew she couldn't. "Yes, Father," she murmured, sparing the man a disdainful look before leading Gannicus from his chambers.
She did not manage to get him very far before he called out to her, "Domina."
"Yes," she replied briskly, his voice only serving to make her walk faster. Warm, coarse fingers wrapped around her shoulder and pulled her to a stop. "Gannicus," she warned, but hearing her say his name after going so long without offered little but encouragement.
His fingers grazed across her shoulder and up her neck, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. "I have been absent your gaze far too long," he said. "How much longer will you keep it from me?" She was certain she was breathing but the air never quite seemed to reach her lungs. She turned to meet him and found the same beautiful, golden man she had always dreamt of. How many sleepless nights had she envisioned him giving her the same look he was offering her now? Like she was all he knew and all he ever cared to know. "There you are."
But he was no longer only the man she'd always wanted. Behind him now stood her mother and father. Gaia, Crassus, Caesar. Betrayal. Manipulation. Cruelty. They had only been together for a game to entertain Caesar. They were only together now because of a game her father seemed to be playing to garner a strong sense of control over the gladiator. Her affection for the man had been fruitless in her youth, but it had been her own. Now it was tainted and misused and she no longer knew where her desire ended and her father's began. "You should return to the ludus."
Gannicus flinched as if she had struck him. "Octavia-"
"Domina," she corrected.
Melitta had been wrong. Her mother would not love her if she married a slave. What life could Gannicus provide for her? Would she visit his private chambers once per week as Melitta did Oenomaus? Would she lie with him atop his stone bed? Would their children serve as her mother's body slaves? She had seen their future together and all it offered was blood and death. She would not suffer Gaius Julius Caesar, but there would come another man, a proper Roman. Perhaps even a senator. She would live in his villa in Rome and have his children and Gannicus would grow older and slower and weaker until he met his end in the arena. She was not a little girl anymore; Gannicus had made her a woman and it was time she acted like it.
Gannicus himself seemed less keen on her plans. "Tell me what I have done," he urged. "I will do whatever I must to fix it."
"All you need do is return to the ludus," she replied. "You know the way, there is no need for me-"
She tried to sidestep him, to return to her chambers where she could stop her hands from trembling, but he grabbed her, all sense of propriety gone now as he nearly enveloped her. "Do not do this," he pleaded, a desperation in his voice that she had never heard before.
"I must," she said, "don't you see?"
Could he see why the gods had dangled love in front of him only to snatch it away when he reached for it? "No." He knew she couldn't see it either. There was a reason her hands trembled at her sides, why she was trying to blink away the tears that were forming. "I love you and you love me, too."
"It's not enough. Not for this world."
Gannicus had little interest in what she'd said, but words she had not spoken held the world. "You don't deny it?" She couldn't. She didn't think her heart was strong enough to survive the attempt. "Say it."
"It won't make-"
"Say the words," he all but commanded.
"I love you."
A silence hung over them as his grip on her arms went slack. He had held her so tightly she was certain she would bruise. "Those are the only words in this world that mean a damn thing to me. Do you understand?" She nodded. "Do not try to take them from me again."
No, she realized, staring up at him. He was not the beautiful, golden man she had always wanted anymore. With naught but a teasing smile to offer her as he drank and fucked his way out of ever taking anything seriously. He was the Gannicus she had dreamt of, capable of more love and depth and sincerity than she had ever thought his physical form could muster. She did not see her father when she looked at him, not Crassus nor Caesar. All she saw was him.
A/N: Unfortunately, we're nearing the end of Gods of the Arena material. :( The good news, however, is that I fully intend to cover all four seasons. :) While I do have an ending mapped out and a few key points I really want to hit along the way, I'm not super duper set in how Octavia gets there. SO, my dear readers, now I must pass a question onto you!
As I said a while ago, this was originally written as a roleplay between me and a friend. We combined basically all of the seasons, meaning Spartacus was in the ludus at the same time Gannicus was. This was done for our personal enjoyment but it would've been GOD awful to read, so I removed everything with Spartacus. However, I do have a fair amount of things with Octavia and Spartacus written that I could start using when we hit Blood and Sand.
So, the question is, for the Blood and Sand era, do you want:
Spartacus and Octavia
Crixus and Octavia
Spartacus/Crixus/Octavia
For Octavia to be #foreveralone because Gannicus is her one true love
Some other pairing?
Let me know! I'm open to pretty much anything as long as it's not like … Octavia/Solonius. I'm perfectly happy letting her pine over Gannicus forever, but if everyone wants Octavia/ … Varro? I'm happy to write a bit of that, too.
Special thanks to:
Bookkeeper88: Ha, I'm glad I managed to make it subtle enough for people to be surprised by it! I thought for sure everyone would know, so I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it. :)
Acwwluver: I'm so happy that you love it enough to want to comment! Reviews are, after all, a huge motivator for a lot of people on this site. It really lets me know that it's worthwhile for me to sit down and write because at least one person is enjoying it, so I really appreciate it! :)
Vikihungerrgame1: Your reviews continue to be my absolute favorite! :) It actually made me laugh! I really did think everyone would know based on the cover picture alone, so it cracks me up that you're looking at it now feeling stupid. :P I'm stoked it still managed to be a surprise!
You have to look at Caesar this way! He was a total shithead in the first few episodes! He grew along the way and you could see what a huge heart he had and how much he really cared about the Romans, but he was an absolute entitled shithead twat in the beginning, and he's about five years more immature in the Gods of the Arena. Give him time to pull his head out of his ass. :P
Yes, definitely Kore will make an appearance! I can't believe you only just finished the series now. Are you as emotionally devastated as I was? I'm pretty sure I cried over Gannicus for three straight hours. Thank you so so so sooooo much, as always, for the hilarious and encouraging reviews! They really do make me want to sit down and keep writing. And YOU have a good day too! :P
Swingrim: I can definitely include more Crixus! If you want to see more of him or see a fleshed out romance with him and Octavia, like I said up above, please do let me know and I'll try to make the most amount of people happy! Thanks for your review, I hope you keep enjoying it!
Kallene: Whooooaaa high praise! You really don't know how much I appreciate reviews like these. They make my entire week and hugely inspire me to keep writing and keep posting, so thank you so so much!
Helinahandcart: Hahaha I don't know how you saw the original version of this unless you have access to my google drive, but I'm glad you're enjoying the rewrites more! Thank you so much for your reviews, I really hope you continue to enjoy! :)
