She hated to admit it but she loved living with Stefan. She didn't know if it was because she hasn't lived with anyone in a while and now having someone to always talk to, cook for her, clean, and sometimes massage her was just a thousand times better than living alone. Or was it just living with Stefan period; that if he didn't do all those things would she still feel the way that she is now?
"I made you nachos the way you like," he said rounding the reclined couch she was sitting on then kissed her once.
She gave him a look but couldn't help herself from smiling. He did so back sitting close to her.
"You told me to show you that I love you so you can't get mad at me, I'm just following orders."
"Don't push it," she said then ate a cheesy, sour creamed, lettuce'd, meaty chip. "Thanks by the way."
He nodded then leaned in to rest his head on her thighs. "I can't wait to see my baby." He extended his hand just a little touching her stomach smiling.
"A few more days. I'm kind of scared."
"Don't be. I'll be there."
She smiled slightly. "Stef,"
He sat up. "Yeah?"
Her lips parted but couldn't let the words fall from her mouth. He saw the look in her eyes. This was it, he'd done it, he succeeded. He would smile and let out a breath of relief but he needed to hear her say it. Please say it.
"I just," her eyes closed gently as his hand met the side of her face making her feel weightless. "I-" she was interrupted by knocks on the door.
He ignored it. "What is it?" He needed to hear it.
"Never mind,"
He frowned then stood to go answer the door when the knocks didn't stop. Bonnie took the interruption as a sign. Maybe it was the hormones taking over her thoughts. She then decided that she wouldn't make any major decisions until the baby was out for at least a month.
"Hey, baby girl."
She was so distracted by her thoughts that she didn't notice her dad was standing right in front of her. "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see you."
"Why? I thought you shamed me to hell."
"I didn't mean that. I was just surprised to learn that you were sleeping around, I needed time."
"Nine consecutive months long enough for you?"
"I'm sorry, that's why I'm here." He sat next to her. "I was just meaning to talk to Stefan alone, but I see that you've moved in."
"I figured it was best."
"I think that too."
Bonnie nodded slightly then ate several nachos before they got cold. Stefan sat behind her bringing an arm around her knowing how difficult this must be. She remembers her vividly crying in his arms when she told him about how horrible her father took the news and he wanted to know that he's here for her.
"So are you two back together?"
"No. I'm seeing someone else, actually. He's okay with…everything."
He nodded knowing to not comment not wanting to make things worse. He noticed the look on Stefan's face and he almost felt bad for the kid.
"Well um. I should get going, maybe we can talk later?"
"Maybe. The baby should be here any day now so-"
"I'll help you out. I mean I basically raised you alone so I know a few tricks." He offered a smile and was relieved when she smiled back.
"Okay."
"Alright. Call me when you go into labor."
"I will. Bye, dad."
Stefan stood and walked him out before joining her again. He knew he shouldn't but he couldn't help himself when he asked, "So you forgive your dad that easily but not me? I begged and pleaded with you for months."
"Stefan, can we not start this right now,"
"I just need an explication. You weren't the only heartbroken one, Bonnie."
"Because it's different. He's my dad, you heard him, he practically raised me on his own, he's family-"
"I'm your family too. You can like it or not, but I'm your family too. Just as you are mine."
"I don't know what to say,"
"Just forget it then."
"Stefan," she sighed as he stood and walked upstairs leaving her alone. Bonnie fought back the tears she felt and finished off the rest of the nachos to distract her mind.
...
After constantly changing her mind over and over again, she decided to suck it up and walked into his room. She was a bit relieved when she didn't see him and was going to take that as a sign and turn to leave, but a voice told her to walk in and wait for him on the bed, so that's what she did. Bonnie laid down and decided to close her eyes at first just to close them but then it felt like she was having short contractions that would go just as they came. She placed her hand on her stomach shutting her eyes tighter.
"Are you okay?" Stefan asked stepping out of the bathroom. At first, he was confused to see her there and was going to ask what she was doing, but then he noticed that she was in some type of pain.
"I'm fine, I just. Just give me a minute."
"Want me to take you to the hospital?"
"No, I'll be fine. My water hasn't broke yet so I'm good."
He nodded still unsure about the whole thing but joined her on his bed laying face to face with her. Her eyes remained closed and instead of touching her face like he was going to do, he decided to gently run his hand over her stomach along with her hoping that it could provide some comfort.
"I'm sorry, Stefan."
"No, I'm sorry. I was a jerk for asking you that."
"I get why you did. I'm not sure if I would've voiced it if I was in your position, but I would've thought it. The truth is that I couldn't trust you. If I would've forgiven you and you cheated on me again then I would've hated myself. I- I do love you, Stefan," she opened her eyes, "but I can't. Not right now."
"Why?"
"There's always a possibility and there always will be one and I'm not sure if I can let my guard down yet. Plus I'm with—"
"Let's keep him out of the conversation, please. This is just you and me right now." She nodded. "And I get it. But like I told you before I was just- I was falling so hard for you, Bonnie and I was scared honestly. You know the type of guy I was, marriage and love just wasn't my thing."
"The type of guy you were?"
"I want it. I want it all with you."
She was speechless.
"I want more babies with you, I'll marry you, we'll move away nowhere too far but far enough so nothing will be awkward so we won't be trying to avoid certain people." Her lips slightly curved as did his seeing her. Bonnie closed her eyes as he kissed her a few times and was surprising herself kissing him back. If she was honest, it wasn't all that surprising but she's not ready to admit it yet. He pulled away connecting their foreheads as they breathed deeply but Stefan kissed her once more. "Just say yes. Say yes."
They looked into each other's eyes and as she opened her mouth ready to give her answer, her leg was suddenly soaked. "My water broke."
"What?"
"It's time,"
He blinked several times then processed what she just told him. He quickly got up and was ready to carry her to the car, but Bonnie wanted to change her pants first. He grunted but followed and helped her then carried her away.
On the ride there, Bonnie called Caroline letting her know the news and asking her to call everyone. Caroline was surprised when her friend told her to call her father because she thought that they weren't speaking, but decided to ask for the details later.
...
Since the baby was still breeched, Bonnie had to get a C-section, something that she never wanted to in her life. She was terrified.
"I can't, Stefan,"
"Hey, yes you can. I'll be right by your side, I promise." He leaned in ready to kiss her but heard her name being called. It was Matt.
"Is everything okay?"
"I have to get a C- section,"
"Alright, Bonnie, they're ready for you." A nurse stated and began pushing her towards the room.
Stefan and Matt followed. "I'll be there with you,"
"We only like to allow one person in there with the mother." The nurse informed noting that two were following after her.
Bonnie looked between the two knowing that she had a decision to make. "Um,"
"Bonnie," Stefan was shocked that she was actually considering letting Matt be in there instead of him for the delivery.
"I'm sorry, Matt,"
He nodded. "It's fine."
"Alright, sir, just follow me so we can get you ready." Another nurse that was helping push the bed told Stefan then walked off.
"Back the hell up." He grabbed Matt by the collar pushing him against the wall. "Bonnie is with me now, she's mine, so why don't you run home. She wants to be with me, she told me so, so how about you do everyone a favor—including yourself—and leave." He let go but pushed him back before jogging to catch up with the man he's supposed to be following.
Caroline watched the whole scene unfold and she would tell Matt that Stefan was lying about the whole thing, but personally, she didn't know if it was completely a lie. "Matt,"
"I just need some space." He said walking past her.
She frowned but respected his wish allowing him to walk out.
...
After her tear fest, Bonnie could actually appreciate her beautiful baby girl who was now the perfect blend of Stefan and herself with curly blonde locks covering the top of her head. Stefan sighed blissfully running his thumb along her small cheek before kissing her.
"My sweet Stella," he kissed her again.
Bonnie smiled then handed Stella over to Stefan smiling even more by how close he's holding her. He smiled hearing his little girl hum as he did so and he knew that his plan worked. She will want no other man but her daddy.
"We should let people in," Bonnie said calmly.
"Just a few more minutes." He replied in the same range then kissed his little girl again.
After those minutes passed, Stefan walked out and told everyone the news stopping a wide smile not seeing Matt in the midst of it all.
Bonnie smiled seeing her dad and Caroline walk in then frowned a little. "Where's-"
"Shh, everyone that's here wants to be here." Stefan joined her on the bed.
"He got a last minute call," Caroline excused.
Bonnie nodded hoping that everything was ok. Caroline then knew that Stefan was lying about the whole thing by the expression on her face and would make sure to pull Stefan to the side later.
"Can I hold her?"
Bonnie nodded then handed Stella over to her father.
"So how did everything go?" Caroline asked.
"It was good. Weird, but good. No complications so that's great."
Caroline smiled then shortly it was her turn to hold the little girl. "Do you remember my voice Stel-Bell? I'm your Auntie Caroline."
Bonnie smiled then looked over at Stefan. He noticed then looked over at her wondering what was on her mind as she just kept looking before she turned away. He narrowed his eyes slightly but chose to ignore everything for now.
...
Stefan opened the door as Bonnie was taking their little girl out of the car seat then moved to the trunk to get their bags. He barely left the hospital but he knew that he needed to clean a few things and change their sheets but other than that, he was there.
"Babe, you should get some sleep."
"I'm not tired,"
"You said that you were having a hard time sleeping at the hospital,"
"I know, but I'm just not tired."
He sighed. "What did I do?"
"Caroline told me what happened."
"What happened with what?"
She shook her head. "Oh, I don't know, does threatening my boyfriend ring a bell to you?"
"Boyfriend?" He chuckled. "So all the things I told you meant nothing to you?"
"I didn't say that,"
"You just did. I spill my heart out to you and you stomp all over it."
"Stef, I didn't—"
"What?"
"I told myself that I wouldn't make emotional decisions anymore and I was very emotional."
"Well, what are you feeling now?"
"I just need some time. I just got back from the hospital,"
He dropped his defensiveness. "You're right. I'm sorry."
She nodded slightly then headed upstairs to lay down. He went to the kitchen to get her some water then went upstairs himself joining her in their room. He sat the glass down on the nightstand then walked to the other side of the bed laying down in front of her. He moved his hand to the side of her face seeing that she was asleep as well as their little girl who was rested beside her. He kissed them both before moving in closer.
Stefan watched her as her eyes opened and smiled a little. "I thought you weren't tired."
She rolled her eyes getting up slowly before smiling watching Stefan bounce slightly holding Stella. "How long was I out?"
"Seven hours. Give or take."
She met her palm to her forehead. "Man I hope Stella still latched on after that."
He chuckled. "Don't worry, she was asleep through most of it too." She let out a breath. "Matt called."
Bonnie was speechless for a second. "Oh,"
"He uh," he sighed. "I told him that he could come over tomorrow. I guess since he's your boyfriend he should see his possible future stepdaughter."
"When I said that-"
"It's okay. I just want you to be happy. I want you to be happy with me, but right now it's not seeming possible."
"I wouldn't go that far."
"I just need to know where your heart is. I won't ask you again, or not for a while at least, but I just need to know where you stand so I'll know what to do."
She looked at him then closed her eyes briefly, opening as she told him, "My heart. It's with you. It always has been. I don't love Matt which is understandable since we just started dating, but I love you."
He nodded. "Alright then. My heart is with you too. Just in case you were wondering. I love you too."
She smiled because, for the first time since he's spoken those words to her, she believed him.
"Why did you cheat on me?"
"As I said, I was fall—"
"So your first instinct was to sleep with someone else? That just doesn't make any sense."
"I know it doesn't. Thinking back now, I wish I just would've told you, but I was scared. Frankly, I was terrified to tell you how I feel."
"Didn't you know that I loved you though? Why were you so afraid when I loved you so much?"
"I'm so sorry. Bonnie, it's the mistake that I will regret for the rest of my life. I know you loved me, I knew, but at the time I wasn't focusing on that, I was focusing on myself. You know what I've been through and I don't want to use that as an excuse, but I didn't think that there was a such thing as staying in love. Love happens but keeping it that way seemed impossible and I just knew that we were bound to fall apart so I didn't care. I didn't think."
"What about now? How is it all now?"
He shook his head, "The way that I feel about you, I know that it won't just go away. And it's going to be a bitch seeing you with him and even with that thought, I can't let you go." Her body relaxed as he held her gaze. "When you're ready," he started up again. "All you need to do is say yes."
She nodded.
