Chapter Two: Dreams vs Hope
It felt no different than waking up from a dream one I wasn't ready to wake up from, I even found myself asking if it was real. I was quickly pulled back into reality, realizing there was no way for our conversion to be possible when I felt Peter's head falling onto my shoulder. The only difference from waking up peacefully in my bed was the sharp soreness throbbing through my body and mournful mumbles coming from Peter. I could feel that he was holding me in his arms which was something I had craved— no, desired— as I was falling.
When I realized vibrations were coming from his body because he was crying I was ready to open my eyes. I needed to tell him I was okay, but I couldn't. My body was so exhausted I couldn't lift a finger, let alone open my eyes. For a moment I feared that I was paralyzed, I quickly ruled out the option when I felt no numbness radiating through my body but only the throbbing pain, and then my mind quickly worried as to what could be causing my soreness. The only conclusion I had come to was the force of the web saving me from receiving much worse pain, but maybe I broke something? I tried to recall if I ever hit the floor, even if I had, luckily, it would be nothing worse than my foot or a hand.
Even though my breathing was faint, I knew he wouldn't be able to tell just yet that I was somewhat conscious. Fortunately, I felt myself regaining more and more control over my body each second. I found myself being able to sense more, remembering that the clock tower won't look as it did in my dream leaving me with reminders of the events that led up to this moment. I became aware of the possibility of Harry still lying unconscious up above and my heart shuttered.
"Hi, bug boy," I whispered so softly, you could hear the exhaustion in my voice, I worried if he would even hear me.
I forced my eyes to flutter open to see if he had heard. Although my eyes were open for no longer than a second at a time, it was hard to put together his reaction from only a few glimpses but I could tell enough that I knew he had heard me. I knew he was sitting straight mainly from the lack of touch between our bodies and I found myself hoping he would shift closer to me. Once again desiring the comfort of him.
"Gwen?" He stammered unsure of my consciousness, his voice was thick and you could hear the residue of the sadness in his voice. The hand that was on my neck was now placed to hold my head up which he slightly shook to get another response. "Hey, hey."
I gave him a weak smile, and finally, I managed to keep my eyes open even though there was still an unimaginable amount of heaviness to them. He breathed a deep sigh of relief as he wiped tears away from his cheeks. It was as if he was waking from his own dream, more likely could be described as a nightmare, although in some ways we experienced the same types of pains in a matter of minutes. Fortunately, none of it matters now. I was okay, Peter never lost me nor did I lose him. Although I could tell he had tried not to more tears fell down his cheeks, only for other reasons than before, he bent down to bury his face in the crook of my neck.
Even though I knew we hadn't been in that position for all I still gained the strength to be able to wrap my arms around his body pulling him in closer. I placed one hand on the upper half of his back while I rested the other on his head while soothingly rubbing my thumb back and forth against his hair. And after a while, he shifted his body so that he could hold my face in his hands without me having to hold my weight just yet.
"Your okay?" He asked and I watched a tear roll down his cheek, I reached and gently wiped it away with my fingertips. "Your okay, right?"
"I'm okay, I promise" I smiled softly while grabbing onto either side of his neck with both of my hands, I rested half of my fingertips on his jawline and some just under. I tried my best not to showcase my stiffness with any noise or facial expressions, although sometimes I catch myself wincing after a wrong move. It wasn't much pain and I figured I was hiding my achiness well but he saw through me.
It was strange he didn't necessarily look happy but he wasn't sad or angry anymore if anything he seemed relieved. His face was hard and intense, although, every once in and awhile he smiled softly and let out a laugh that could nearly pass like a sigh. It didn't seem like this normal smile, the one that touches his eyes which eventually reaches his entire face causing anyone around him to smile back. I wanted to ask what he thinking, however, I also knew. He was hiding some type of emotion but it's hard to put together which ones. I'm happy, can't he see? I'm also okay, can't he see that either? Perhaps, something happened while I was unconscious.
I wanted to do something to not only prove I was okay to him but to prove to myself that there wasn't anything else other than relief running through his mind. I wasn't sure what to do, so I did the only thing I thought of. Before I did so I considered my choice as I moved my hands up to his cheeks placing my index fingers on his temples, never looking away from his eyes. I quickly pulled our faces together before either of us gave it another thought. Warmth touched my chest as our lips met, I brushed my lips against his and I could feel he was hesitant. I fought the urge to question it and only came up with the conclusion that if he wanted to pull away from me I wouldn't fight him. Even if I did have the strength too. But he surprised me, so, I'm not gonna make it out to be something that it wasn't: It was perfect. He did more than just stop kissing me, he kissed me back, with more passion I had been using.
The moment he glided his hands behind my back was the moment he pulled us into a sitting position. Peter pulled me closer to his body, with both arms, and my chest pressed against his. And for a while, Peter kissed me as I followed his movements. I followed still stunted by his kiss, one that started with me hoping for an answer and the same one which is being guided by him leaving me with more questions.
His nose nudged against mine, and our lips melted together. Warmth consumed me as I leaned deeper into the kiss, Peter's lips impossibly soft aghast mine own. I was looking for a way to pull myself closer to him, but we were already as physically close together as possible. Still, I managed to find a way. Against my body's complaints, I slid my hands behind the back of his neck then I knotted my fingers into his hair pushing his face closer against my own. Butterflies imploded inside me, and I quickly felt dizzy again while Peter's rich scent consumes me as he pulls back for a quick breath of air giving me a chance to look at his face. It was only a second but it gave me enough time to see him, his soft eyes, his perfect lips, his full hair, and the list goes on.
He pulled away first but instead of pulling away completely, he rested his forehead on mine. He rested his head on my forearms as we both paid attention to our heavyweight breathing. I kept my hand just above my heart feeling the fast-paced beat. The warmth in my chest slowly shrunk and soon enough I was left with dizziness in my head and slowly steadily breathing. Either of us made a motion to move our position or speak to each other.
It still felt off, Peter went back to handling me as if I was a thin piece of glass and I considered the circumstances, no sane person would be acting overjoyed after thinking they had lost a loved one, no matter what way I viewed our current situation he still wasn't himself. Even when we heard the sirens growing closer he slipped on his mask and half carried half guided through the piles of metal leading us to the exit of the clock tower.
Outside the clocktower looked much worse than what was inside, poles, wires, and metal were everywhere including on top of the police car I had hijacked to get here. I snuck quick balances trying to take everything in as my feet dragged across the ground. During the fight, I never knew just how much Peter and Electro caused until this moment. I found myself feeling sorry for anyone who had to fix their fight scene.
We made it past the gate and we were quickly greeted by a large crowd of first responders. Three police officers ran up to us quickly asking Peter questions. He told them about Electro and Green Goblin— as they know them by— as we walked forward.
"Where are they now?" The Sargent asked over the loud chatter of the crowd. Peter adjusted his grip on me, I knew he wished he could just show them where both of them lay but I could sense he wasn't ready to leave me alone just yet.
"Green Goblin should be in the upper level of the clocktower– but it might be blocked off by now, so, I'll bring him down. I doubt he was moved from the last time we saw him." I recoiled at the memory but the officer didn't protest and only nodded while Peter continued to speak. "And I'm not sure where Electro is now, but he's not moving either."
I was tired, and after a while never tried to fight it. I laid my head on Peter's shoulders as he guided me somewhere, I didn't pay enough attention to know where we were heading. I let my eyes close nearly forgetting I had a life before tonight events, for a moment I forgot about moving to London, I forgot about my friends, and my hard work to get to where I had been. It was all over, that's all I cared about. In my mind Peter was holding me in a comforting way, nothing awful had happened and he was walking me home after spending a night together, but I could imagine what this might look like to others outside of our relationship. Spider-Man had just heroically saved the helpless girl and in hindsight the whole city of New York. Which is true, I wouldn't deny them but thinking he hadn't just risked his life to save one helpless girl made the pit in my stomach dissolved. It made things fall into place easier and I could allow myself to ask what tomorrow had in storge without questioning whether I saw the angle of my father or if I had only dreamed of him.
None of my family members had bothered to wake me the morning after, I knew they wanted to. Every so often I heard chatter outside the bedroom door and it wasn't always my mother hesitantly worrying outside my door but my three brothers would route between each other as well. There was only once where my mother peeked her head into my room not being able to handle the suspense for much longer.
"Gwen? Are you awake?" She spoke softly from behind me, her words were gentle and just from the sound of her voice I knew she was worried.
I could have turned my body then to let her know that I was awake, but I didn't. I stayed still with arms wrapped around my body as I hid the rest of my body underneath the blanket. It only took her a few seconds to believe my tiny lie, when I heard the door close the weight fall back into my shoulders and my eyes started to water, though I never let any tears go further than the rims of my eyes.
My mother must have been holding her tongue ever since she witnessed her only daughter get out of the passenger seat police cruiser. Although she must have had some idea of what happened. I knew the police officer who had driven me home spoke to my mother after she told me to get some sleep saving me from having to burst out into tears in front of him. I heard parts of their conversation while I climbed the staircase and slowly walked through the hallway that lead me to my bedroom, he told her the story of a masked hero saving the defenceless girl. It was the furthest thing from a surprise. That was the only story he would ever know, or at least until my words didn't leave my mouth sounding like mush, then they would ask me to a proper statement to the police. Even then I would have to play into their story to keep Peter's face behind the mask.
I wanted to see him after he handed me off to the paramedics I only saw him from a distance. I could have fought seeking medical attention. I knew there was nothing wrong only the soreness which had gotten worse of the night but I didn't, largely because I wasn't always fully awake let alone I could barely speak for myself nonetheless I couldn't fight to stay with Peter. To everyone else, Spider-Man and I were only strangers. I could call him. I turned over under my covers so that I would face my phone which sat around still air on my side table. Questions started to pore over, would he answer? Did he leave shortly after I did? Where is he right now?
After a while of internal fighting I gave in, I sat up and brushed my hair behind my ears just before I could pick up my phone to call him. One try, you have one try. I told myself. I closed my eyes hoping he would pick up, after each ring my hope faded quickly.
Then I heard his voice, "Hey, you've reached Peter Parker. Uh, I'm busy at the moment, so, I'll get back to you when I can." His voicemail was quickly followed by a monotone voice. "Please leave a message after the beep."
My shoulders slumped and my hand holding the phone dropped into my lap, I stared into nothingness. It was still early. He could have been sleeping, he must have had a longer night than I had. I wondered how much longer, then, I thought about the last moment I saw Spider-Man last night. I was waiting in the passenger seat of the police officer's cruiser who volunteer to drive me home while he finished talking to another officer when Peter came up to my side of the car. He opened the door and crouched down to my level.
"Hey," He whispered.
"Hi," I smiled back softly leaning my head tiredly on the headrest.
I knew who I was talking to, it wasn't Peter, he stayed masked for a while longer, "You're still okay?"
"Yes, thank you," I said a little too formally.
There was a moment of stillness between the two of us as our pause grew longer and longer. Then, without any other words, he surprised me. "I love you," Only for a second did he leave his guard down, and I knew instead of speaking to the hero I was talking to mine. My heart skipped a beat and even it was stupid I felt the warmth touch my cheeks. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Seven words were spoken by Peter before the officer got into the driver's seat again. Within the few seconds of Peter saying his last words and the officer getting into his car there was no time for me to respond because I would have. I would have the words back, I wanted to but our characters were unpaused as soon as the car door opened and closed.
Spider-Man tapped on the car frame and strung up only to bend down one last time to say, "Drive save, officer"
I watched as he swung the door closed and walked back to the scene, after a few paces he found something low to swing off of. It didn't get him far nor was it as impressive compared to the other things I've seen him do but that little action seemed to make the officer impressed. I turned my head to see him smiling with a sense of impression on his face at Spider-Man as we slowly rolled pasted the scene. It reminded him of just how successful Peter had been, he had always set out to give hope to people. Which he had provenly done with great success. I thought about this, and about everything leading up to last night. I thought about the hope Peter gave me on the bridge and now it would be unfair if keep for myself when he now had a whole city to pay attention to. He told me he would move to London with me, but he knows he can't and now I would never let him. My heart ached as I was pulled back into the present as I came to the realization that we had to fight between our dreams and our hopes.
He can't leave New York, but I have too.
A/N I'm so sorry I haven't posted Chapter two! But my reasons are valid, I swear. Anyways, I hope the end doesn't seemed rushed, I just really wanted this out there for everyone aha, plus I never did a final read. Hopefully, chapter three goes a little quicker than two! And maybe it won't feel as rushed!
