"Don't you guys think we should be finding a way back to Pandora?" asked Gaige back at the Hotel. "None of us are sure as to where to look, and according to Charlie, Lucifer won't let her use any of his magic stuff." replied Maya. "We'll, maybe we could, ahem, 'b o r r o w' it." said Salvador, rubbing his hands together while snickering slyly. "Robbing the Devil himself!? Are you outta your mind, Sal!?" shouted Axton at the pint-sized berserker. "That can't be any more crazy than the crap we've pulled off before! Like killing literal physical gods? Remember the Warrior? Or Terramorphous? Or Hyperius? Or The Ancient Dragons of Destruction?" "Sal, we're talking about Lucifer. The Fallen Angel. Second only to GOD HIMSELF." "Fine, be that way. Last time I try to come up with a badass plan."
"What're you guys talking about?" inquired Charlie as she walked into the lobby with Vaggie following. "Eh, nothing." answered Sal. "Just discussing the ethics of borrowing a few magical relics from your old man." "Yeah, well the day Dad trusts me with any of his stuff will be the day he thinks the hotel will be a success." "Daddy issues, huh?" asked Axton. Charlie sighed and said "Yeah, he's much more interested in watching the damned suffer and spiting God at every opportunity than doing anything that could benefit either. He was also very disappointed that I preferred making others happy over tearing their still-beating hearts out through their throats." "I feel ya, Charlie." said Sal. "My dad's idea of making me stronger was throwing me into a pit of rabid skags as a toddler. I mean, I did throttle them all into submission, but my point still stands." "I actually had a good relationship with my pop." stated Axton. "My ma on the other hand, she was a real control freak. She went absolutely berserk one night when I brought a boyfriend home. Screamed at me about ruining her chances of having grandchildren. She left me n' Dad the very next day..." Maya then stepped in with "The closest thing I ever had to a father figure was a corrupt priest who was using me to enforce his will on the planet I was born on."
Mr. Torgue decided to join the conversation, tears welling up behind his sunglasses. "MY PARENTS DIED TESTING THERMONUCLEAR WEAPONRY." "Oh! That's... tragic." said a rather surprised Charlie. "AS THEIR BODIES DISINTEGRATED IN THE BLAST, I SWORE VENGEANCE UPON EXPLOSIONS." "And how did you accomplish that, exactly?" "BY OBTAINING COMPLETE AND TOTAL MASTERY OVER THEM. AFTER YEARS OF RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT, I FINALLY BUILT WEAPONS THAT ALLOWED ME TO MAKE EXPLOSIONS MY B*TCH!" "If your parents are dead, then who looked after you?" asked Vaggie. "MY GRANDMA." replied Torgue. "SHE IS A WONDERFUL WOMAN. SHE'D REALLY LIKE YOU N' CHARLIE."
"Say, Torgue, how did you make your guns as dangerously explosive as they are?" asked Salvador. "WELL, ONE DAY I WAS STROLLING AROUND THE HIGHLANDS, PUNCHING STALKERS AND LOOKING FOR INSPIRATION FOR MY NEW LINE OF GUNS, WHEN SOMETHING LANDED ON THE GROUND IN FRONT OF ME. I LOOKED CLOSER AND IT WAS REAL FREAKY LOOKING. HORNS, WINGS, AND A WEIRD-ASS FACE THAT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS GLITCHING OUT. IT WAS ALSO HOLDING THIS FANCY LOOKING SPEAR. I GRABBED IT AND INSPECTED IT, AND WEIRDLY ENOUGH, IT SMELLED JUST LIKE GUNPOWDER." As Torgue continued spouting exposition, Charlie began growing rather concerned about what he had just described. "SO I TOOK THE SPEAR BACK TO THE TORGUE LABS, AND WE FOUND THAT WHATEVER IT WAS MADE OF WAS EXPLOSIVELY VOLATILE ON A SCALE PREVIOUSLY UNIMAGINABLE. SO WE DIGISTRUCTED A BUNCHA COPIES OF IT AND USED THE MATERIAL TO MAKE THE GYROJETS AND ROCKETS TORGUE GUNS FIRE."
"Wait, you're telling us that you made your weapons' munitions from an EXTERMINATOR'S SPEAR!?" screamed Vaggie with a furious look on her face. "SO THAT'S WHAT THAT THING THAT FELL OUTTA THE SKY WAS CALLED?" inquired Torgue. "Mr. Torgue, the spear you replicated and used to make your munitions was a holy weapon, meaning that your guns are not only capable of destroying damned souls like Angel or Husk, but can also kill high-ranking demonic royalty, such as Stolas, Satan, or even my father." explained Charlie. "MY GUNS CAN KILL SATAN!? THAT IS MOTHERF&@KING AWESOME!!!" "What I'm trying to say is that anyone carrying one of your weapons is automatically one of the most dangerous beings down here!" cried Charlie. "Wait, wasn't Krieg carrying that gigantic shotgun earlier?" asked Vaggie. "YEAH, THE CARNAGE, WHY?" "The other day, he blew Alastor across the city with it, but I don't think it killed him." Everyone present processed this information and vocalized their realization with: "OH SHI-"
