THE MORTAL REALM, STEELPORT, USA:
Krieg found himself on a beach along with his new impish cohorts. According to Millie, they were someplace called "Earth". Krieg had a feeling he had been there before, likely prior to his mutation into the freak he was now. "WHY AREN'T MY FINGERS IN SOMEONE'S EYE SOCKETS RIGHT NOW!?" screamed the masked maniac. "Patience, big guy, Loona's scoutin' out for targets right now." Millie said, reassuringly. Loona, who had disguised herself as a human, walked to the group, who had been hiding behind a conveniently large shrub beneath a boardwalk. "Alright, managed to find most of the targets, you go kill them or whatever, and I'll go... find... more, yeah." As she spoke, Loona seemed to lose focus as she turned to look at a large muscular man in a sleeveless leather jacket. "Ok, people, just keep an eye out for the poor saps on this list Loonie gave us." Blitzo ordered. "Oh, and Krieg, since you have that whole no-innocents stigma, you just patrol the beach and look out for succubi in disguise. Just look for the magenta pupils."
As Krieg wandered across the sand, the feeling of familiarity continuing to come to him. "It's almost as if we've been here before, as if we enjoyed doing things other than bathing in people's innards..." lamented Krieg's Sane Personality. Krieg then noticed something peculiar. A group of people standing together, wearing outfits with what appeared to be a purple fleur de lis. Krieg was suddenly flashed with previously unknown memories of that symbol. Shootouts with law enforcement, drug-fueled raves, and... punching people in gimp suits?
As Krieg wondered just where the hell that last one came from, he was approached by a short, dark-skinned woman, who was only slightly taller than the imps. "My, aren't you just the sexiest? Care to show me if the curtains match the drapes?" said the woman as she suggestively motioned towards Krieg's crotch. Krieg noticed her magenta eyes and realized she was a succubus. "AGH! STRANGER DANGER!" shouted Krieg as he panickedly punted her a small distance.
Following that little incident, Krieg recomposed himself, and looked to the stage where a familiar woman was performing. Above the woman, he saw in giant, neon pink letters: "VEROSIKA MAYDAY" "Hey, that's the succubus lady from the magazine." noted Sane Krieg. "Didn't know she toured out of Hell." As Verosika stood onstage, she grabbed a microphone and shouted to the crowd "Y'all ready to get FUCKED up and make some BITCHIN' bad choices!?" She then took a swig from a fancy looking flask and threw it into the ocean behind Krieg. "SHE'S PERFEEEECT..." said Krieg, lovestruck. "Cool your jets, buddy, focus on the task at hand. Maybe if we've got time, we can try to ask her out or something." said Sane Krieg in attempt to make sure the Psycho personality didn't do anything stupid.
"Hard to look away from her, eh?" Krieg turned to see a young man standing next to him. He had short, black hair, an expensive looking pair of shades, and wore jeans with a custom white and purple leather jacket with that same fleur de lis from earlier. "Name's Gat. Johnny Gat. Me n' the crew noticed you starin' earlier, mind 'splaining why ya drop kicked that girl 'cross the whole damn beach?" "SHE PULLS THE FLESH WOOL OVER OUR EYES!! HER AND THE OTHERS WITH THE SALMON EYES HIDES THEIR STRANGLING STATUS OF A SOBER, SAUL-CALLING SUCCUBUS!!!" "Wow" said another member of the fleur de lis crew, a black woman with dreads and a purple bandana. "Whatever you're smoking, I want some."
As Krieg and the fleur de lis clan continued talking, Millie was busy rescuing her husband from a keg of beer. "MILLLIIEEEEEE! Hai." slurred Moxxie, clearly unable to hold his liquor. As Millie helped him onto his legs, a giant creature rose from the sea, a fish that had mutated due to that flask Verosika threw into the water from earlier. As everyone at the beach looked at the monster, the dreadlocked woman, Shaundi, had something to say. "Is anyone else seeing this, or am I just high again?" "You ain't the only one, Shaundi." said Gat. "OLEG, GET THE MINIGUN!" he shouted towards a man almost as large as Krieg.
But before anything could happen, the giant mutant was suddenly swallowed by an even larger creature. As it continued to rise to the surface, it revealed itself to be a massive serpent, with scales of steel. The snake turned to face Krieg. "Sssso,we finally meet, chosen one of Odin." Needless to say, Krieg was confused. "WHAT!? TODAY IS NOT WEDNESDAY!!" "Who the hell are you and what do you want with our friend!?" demanded Millie, axe in one hand and drunken husband in the other. "Do you not know who I am?" asked the serpent. "I AM JORMUNGANDR, THE MIDGARD SERPENT! BANE OF THOR!!" One of the random humans on the beach worked up some courage to speak. "So you're telling me all the Norse myths were true!?" "Do you find me so unbelievable when demonsss walk among you!?" roared Jormungandr as he used his tail to send a wave unto the beach, revealing the disguised succubi and hellhounds. As the partygoers started panicking, the World Serpent turned back to Krieg. "And as for what I want with you, the one they call Krieg, you are a threat to my father's plans for Ragnarök! And when I bring him your severed head, FATHER LOKI WILL REJOICE!!"
A ballistic missile impacted Jormungandr, taking him by surprise, but did little to actually hurt him. "Loki's gonna hafta take it up with the Saints if he's plannin' on ending the world!" said Johnny Gat, holding an RPG and flanked by other members of the 3rd Street Saints. "Hehehe, we shall see about that, mortal." said Jormungandr with a sinister chuckle. He then lunged towards Krieg, plowing through anything in his warpath. He attempted to bite down on the berserker, only to find his mouth unable to close. He looked down to see Krieg, holding his jaw open with nothing more than his sheer strength. "I'LL SLICE YOUR EYELIDS SO YOU CAN WATCH THE END!!!" screamed Krieg. And with a single punch, Krieg managed to send the Midgard Serpent back into the water. Jormungandr re-emerged in absolute shock.
"It seems you're stronger than I gave you credit for, Odin's chosen. But no more! TIME TO DIE!!!" With a thunderous roar, Jormungandr sprayed out a massive jet of corrosive venom onto the beach. Some managed to avoid the poison, others screamed in agony as the flesh melted from their bones. Krieg looked behind him to see Verosika Mayday had taken cover from the venom on the stage. He then noticed that the venom was corroding through a massive light fixture above, and was about to crush her. Without hesitation he ran towards the stage. "LOOK OUT, LADY LUST!!!" He pushed her out of the way as the venom covered metal fell, and landed on him. Verosika looked as the man who saved her pushed the fixture off his body, and grunted in pain as the serpent's venom slowly ate through his skin. "Rrrrrrgh, it hurts..." "Awww, does it now?" said Jormungandr, mockingly feigning sympathy. To the snake's surprise, Krieg still continued to get up, despite the venom. "It hurts...hehehe...it hurts...hahaha...HAHAHAHAHA! IT HURTS! HAHAHAHAHAH! IT HURTS SOOOO GOOD!!!!"
Jormungandr recoiled in terror. This lunatic enjoyed the agonizing pain of his venom!? "It cannot be! That's it! I'LL DROWN YOU IN THE OCEAN'S DEEPEST DEPTHS!!!" As Jormungandr lunged in for the killing blow, Krieg heard Millie calling for him. "KRIEG! Throw me!" Krieg proceeded to grab the imp, and threw her into the serpent's face. And with a swift thrust, Millie drove her axe into Jormungandr's eye. "AAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!" The now half-blind snake reeled in pain, and started to sink back into the depths. "I may retreat now, but this is not over! My father will free Fenrir, and come Ragnarök, WE WILL HAVE OUR VENGEANCE UPON ODIN AND HIS GODS!!"
As everyone on the beach that hadn't been killed in the fight between Krieg and the World Serpent recomposed themselves, Johnny Gat had developed a theory about the 8-foot tall psycho. "There's only one person I ever knew who could fight like that..." "Johnny, the Boss disappeared years ago, you're not seriously suggesting that that guy could be him?" asked Shaundi, concerned for Gat's mental health. "If it ain't him, can't be anyone else." insisted Johnny.
Krieg sat on the remnants of the stage, Millie and a recently-sobered Moxxie tending to his wounds. "Yo! Big guy in the orange pants!" Krieg looked up to see Gat and the Saints approaching him and the I.M.P. . "The way you fought that giant-ass snake back there, that was fuckin' awesome. We're the 3rd Street Saints, infamous gang and national celebrities. We get the feeling you may have worked with us before, and are offering a position, if you happen to be interested." Despite working for both the Happy Hotel and The I.M.P., Krieg wanted to know just where those memories of the Saints came from. So of course, he took Gat up on the offer. "Alright! Just meet us back here in Steelport when you're ready, and we'll put ya through initiation."
As Krieg and the IMP walked through a portal back to Hell, they were met by Charlie and the others standing on the other end. "You have a LOT of explaining to do." said the princess.
