You say I took the name in vain

I don't even know the name

But if I did, well really, what's it to you?


"Why don't you follow me, Bella," Carlisle said as he tugged on me gently.

He led me through the house until we were both in his office, he motioned for one of the chairs, I sat gingerly and finally pulled the finger from my mouth, it was slightly pruned but there was no blood in sight.

"That was really smart of you, Bella," Carlisle told me as he handed me a wipe.

I smiled at him as I rubbed my entire hand with it, focusing on the finger, "thanks, contrary to popular belief I do have a survival instinct."

The corners of Carlisle's mouth twitched in amusement, "I don't think any of us have ever doubted it." he said, then extended his hand to me, "may I?"

I placed my hand on his and observed as he examined the small cut.

"What's the verdict, will I live?" I asked, a grin on my face.

"Mmm… I'm afraid we're going to have to amputate, very little can be done in these cases," Carlisle said, his face serious.

I laughed as I removed my hand from his and held it close to my chest, letting out a very dramatic gasp.

"Please, Mr. Doctor, there must be another way," I drawled dramatically.

Carlisle smiled at me before he gently took my hand again in his and cleaned the microscopic wound with a small cotton ball and then covered it with a bandaid.

"You'd do well to remove it once you're home," he advised me.

"Will do," I promised, "So… is your exceptional control something that comes easy or?"

"Years upon years of practice," he explained, then a smug smile crossed his beautiful face, "I barely notice the smell anymore."

"That's neat, given your line of work," I said.

"It is certainly a plus," Carlisle agreed with me, "given the fact that I enjoy greatly what I do."

"Anything in particular that you truly like?" I asked, curiously.

Carlisle offered me a grin, it made his beautiful face seem even younger, "it is very gratifying to be able to use my abilities to save someone who otherwise would have been lost, there is a sense of satisfaction and gratefulness that add to my existence, knowing that some people's lives are better because I exist."

"That's a very noble way of thinking and yet it also seems like you're trying to atone for something that's completely not your fault," I told him.

Carlisle frowned and tilted his head to the side, "I've never thought about it that way, I just felt the need to do something productive with what I had been given in life, or in death if we're being specific."

I couldn't help but to smile at him, " you know, I have a great deal of respect and admiration for you and what you do, because despite your extremely problematic upbringing you manage to be one of the greatest people that I know."

"Problematic would be an understatement," Carlisle chuckled, "you know that my father was a clergyman with a harsh view of the world, I was already questioning him before I changed."

"That's good, it means that you've always had a good head on your shoulders," I praised him with a smile.

Carlisle nodded a little bashful, "his particular brand of faith was something that I didn't agree with, but I have to tell you that in all of the years that I've lived, have I ever seen anything to make me doubt whether God exists in some form of the other."

"That's good," I said softly, "I am a firm believer that we all need something to hold on to and to put our faith in, it's rather weird to hear it coming from a vampire but then again, you are a peculiar vampire, you've hold on to your humanity and that's what makes you stand out."

"I am glad that you think like that, I mean, it's rather foolish, perhaps even innocent of me to think that perhaps, despite the fact that we're damned , I will get some points for trying," he explained, he was leaning on the table, looking relaxed despite of the conversation that we were having.

"I don't think that you're damned, regardless of what you are, and forgive me if I step out of place, and this is me, someone who considers herself agnostic to a point, cause I like the idea that there's someone or something out there for us beyond this life, but, I think it is rather stupid of your part that you consider yourself damned, biblical damnation suggest that you are in a point beyond redemption and yet you seem very repentant to me," I argued.

Carlisle blinked slowly, too slowly even for a vampire pretending to be human, "that's a really interesting viewpoint that you have."

"Thank you," I beamed at him.

"Edward, for his part, he thinks that we've lost our souls," Carlisle added.

I tilted my head to the side, "that's bullshit, a soulless being wouldn't care about others as you do, hell a soulless being wouldn't even revel in destruction because the world would have no meaning for it, I mean, yes, perhaps your soul is a little different from mine, but you're technically immortal, something was bound to change, but I have the personal believe that our souls are what makes us… well us."

Carlisle's face looked troubled as he realized the meaning behind my words and my beliefs. Suddenly his eyes were on me, golden eyes looking at me as if I was some sort of deity.

"Carlisle?" I asked softly.

He shook his head lightly and then offered me a soft smile, "thank you, Bella, I… that was enlightening."

I grinned at him, "anytime Doc!"

He continued to smile, "why don't we rejoin the others? You still have a couple of gifts left to open."

"Sure, as long as one of you guys remove the wrappings, I've tempted fate enough today," I told him as I stood from the chair that I had been occupying.

"Fair enough," Carlisle laughed as he led me out of his office.

I followed him back to the living room, everyone was back, including Jasper whose eyes shone golden indicating that he had fed while I had been talking to Carlisle, even Edward's eyes were different and I couldn't help but to appreciate the effort.

Alice was the first to reach me, handing me a neat box devoid of wrapping.

"This is from me and Jasper," she said with a grin, "no wrapping this time."

I grinned at her, "good," I said as I took the box and realized that Alice had just handed me an ipod mini, with the carjack included, I laughed as I pulled her into a hug.

"I'm glad you like it, Bella," Alice said as she returned the hug.

"Like it? I love it, you know how much I like my music and having to carry all those CDs around is so not cool, thank you guys," I said as I let go of her.

"There's a gift left for you," Esme informed me as she handed me a box, "it's from me and Carlisle."

I took the box and smiled, "A Rarz phone, and it's in hot pink," I looked up from the box and smiled at the two vampires, "thank you so much."

"It's nothing, Bella," Carlisle assured me with a smile.

Esme nodded, "we're just glad you like it."

"I love it," I said softly, "I love all the gifts, you guys are the best, and not because of the gifts, but because you took your time to do this for me."

I was suddenly pulled into a hug by Alice, I laughed and hugged her back tightly, feeling completely at peace with myself while surrounded by people that I loved.

After our small emotional moment, Esme led me to the kitchen where she had dinner and a cake laid out for me. I ate while in the presence of my vampires, between good banter and to be honest it had been the greatest birthday that I had in awhile.

Edward ended up driving me home. He carried my bag of gifts inside the house while I carried the leftovers, Charlie was asleep on the couch when we walked in and I couldn't help but to smile at the sight of him.

"Thank you Teddy," I said softly as I walked Edward to the door.

"You're welcome, Bella, I am glad you had a good time," he told me with a smile.

"I had a great time," I assured him, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Of course, Alice and I will pick you up," he told me with a smile.

"Good, I'll be waiting for you," I said.

I walked back into the living room and carefully shook Charlie awake, he grumbled until I reminded him that I had food and cake and I sat with him at the table while he ate and I told him about my gifts. He was a little surprised by all the gifts that I had received from the Cullens, but I assured him that they were all a little odd and that they really liked birthdays.

"Have a good night, Bells," Charlie said as we walked upstairs.

"You too, dad," I said with a smile.

"Oh, and Bells," he told me as I was to walk into my room, I stopped, hand on the doorknob, Charlie was grinning at me, "Happy Birthday."