Chapter 12:
The days slipped by and before he knew it, it was time to return to the base. Soap was picking him up later in the afternoon so Gary had the morning to say goodbye to his family. His mother had gone all out on a farewell breakfast and now he was paying the price for eating so much. The thought of a two-hour car ride followed up by a several hour-long plane journey wasn't appealing.
"Are you sure you're ready?" His mother asked him for the umpteenth time that day.
"Yes, I'm fine." He replied patiently.
It was hard when he felt the guilt threatening to overwhelm him. But in those moments he would tell himself over and over it wasn't his fault until it went away. Sometimes it only took a minute, other times several. But it worked so he would keep doing it. He owed it to Rook to see the mission through.
"Did you eat enough?"
"I can't take another bite." Gary smiled. "Don't even try or I'll throw up."
"At least take something for the road. It's a long journey isn't it?"
"Yeah, but we'll stop to eat before flying." He glanced up as Amber walked in and was surprised to see her not only wearing makeup but dressed up too. "Why do you look like that?"
"What?" She asked coyly, sitting down next to him. "Can't I look nice?"
His eyes narrowed. "It's because of Soap, isn't it?" When she didn't meet his gaze, he knew it was true. "My Captain?!"
"He's nice!"
"Oh, I'm sure he is," Gary muttered, folding his arms and sinking into the sofa. "I'm going to kill him."
"Yeah and I'm sure you'll be allowed back after that," Amber replied flippantly as she fixed her hair. "Don't sulk! Just because you're not getting any action, doesn't mean I cant."
"Please don't put that image in my head."
The doorbell rang and Amber jumped up. "I'll get it!" And with a wink at Gary, she ran off. He watched her go with narrowed eyes. He couldn't believe Soap was trying to get with his sister.
"Your face will get stuck like that if you keep on frowning." His mother laughed. "She's happy, and I'm sure this Soap is a nice man, isn't he?" She asked, getting up to go into the kitchen.
Gary sighed. "Yeah, he is." But that didn't mean he was comfortable with the idea of him dating his sister. When they entered the room, Gary sat up straighter again and appraised Soap who looked slightly abashed. "Soap?"
"Roach." He sat down next to him. "How are you feeling?"
"Better." Amber sat down on Soap's other side and glared at him behind the man's back. Gary sighed. "My sister man, seriously?"
"Sorry, it just kinda happened." Soap smiled. "We can talk about it on the way back if you want."
"Can't wait."
His mother came back with several food packages. "For the journey." She said, handing them to Soap.
He smiled and accepted them. "Thank you, Mrs Sanderson."
"Oh please, call me Jenny."
Gary caught Amber's eye and gagged. Unfortunately, his mother saw and he stood quickly. "Shall we get going?" He asked Soap.
"If you're ready."
Saying goodbye to his family was hard. It had been the longest time he'd spent at home in years and even though he was looking forward to returning to the base he was going to miss his home comforts. His mother was taking it the hardest, she was crying from the moment he got up and even at the door tears were still pouring down her face.
"I'll see you soon," Gary promised. "Don't worry about me too much, ok?"
"You know your mother, she'll worry no matter what." His dad said before clapping him on the shoulder. "Stay safe, son."
"I will." He had already said goodbye to Amber, who had now pulled Soap to one side. Quickly looking away he swung his bag into the back of Soap's car and got in. His Captain joined him a minute later and he was smiling. "I can't believe you."
"You have no room to talk." Soap told him as he pulled out of the driveway. "You started a relationship with your Lieutenant. You know I could have you both sanctioned for that."
"You wouldn't."
"No." He agreed. "I'm sorry she's your sister. But this is the first time in years I've felt a connection with someone so I'm not willing to let it slip away."
"Well if I could pick anyone for her to love, you're not a bad choice." He caught Soap's eye and grinned. "But we're going to have problems if you hurt her."
"I'll try my best not to." They were silent for a while and Gary began to think of the base again. He had been away for so long now and he could feel apprehension starting to build up inside him. "Roach," Soap started. "We need to talk about Ghost."
"What about him? Is something wrong?"
"No, but I need you to promise me you won't start anything when we get back. He's getting better and I need to know you won't destabilise that."
"I won't. We've already agreed it's not the time." He glanced at Soap again and smiled. "You're a good friend to him, you know that?"
"I'm his only friend."
"What about me?"
Soap snorted. "You aren't Ghost's friend. I don't know what you two are to each other, but even I can see that friend is too casual a word."
"I just want what's best for him."
"Don't we all. One day this war will be over and when it is, I feel I've got a future outside the army. Do you?"
Gary considered this. "Yeah, I have a family to come back to. I can build a life back home again."
"Do you think Ghost can?"
"I don't know..." Now that he thought about it, Gary realised he didn't know anything about Ghost's family, or if he even had one. The man never went anywhere during their time off, always stayed at the base so he assumed that he didn't have anywhere else to go. "He can come with me."
"Stay alive then." Soap smiled. "Not just for Ghost but me too, Amber would kill me if I let you die on my watch."
"Wow and here was me thinking you were just giving out advice. Always playing an angle huh?"
"All's fair in love and war."
Love. Gary knew how he felt about Ghost, knew he would do anything for him, be whatever he needed him to be. The real question was, did Ghost feel the same?
...
The sun had begun setting when they touched down back at the base. Nobody was there to greet them so Roach was able to reach his room quickly to dispose of his belongings. He was starving after the long journey so made his way to the cafeteria and was glad to see most of the team sitting inside. He was greeted warmly and quickly dragged into the group as everyone began talking rapidly about recent events.
"We took out a fortress in Prague!"
"Makarov's whole weapon cache, up in smoke."
"He's running out of options."
It took a long time to get the whole picture, but Roach got the gist of it. The team had infiltrated an old fortress of Zakhaev's in Prague and destroyed everything inside, which sounded like a whole lot of weaponry Makarov would surely be missing now. When asked what he'd been up to, Roach could only reply relaxing. Compared to everybody else his last two months had been very boring.
Once everybody had gotten over his return and resumed their normal conversations, Poet pulled Roach aside. "How are you after Prague?"
"I'm better. Ready to get back into things."
"I've got your back if you need me."
"Thanks, Poet." Roach glanced up and saw Ghost walk through the doors. He paused as he caught sight of him, waiting in the doorway. "I'll catch up with you later, ok?"
Poet looked around too and spotted Ghost. His smile was a little too knowing for Roach's liking. "Yeah, we can speak later."
Roach joined Ghost and followed him out into the corridors. He wasn't sure where to start so left it in Ghost's hands. But the other man didn't speak either, only led the way. Finally, they stopped in front of Ghost's room and he opened the door.
"Privacy is the best policy." He said, stepping back for Roach to enter first.
So Roach went inside. The room was exactly like his own but Ghost's was very neat. He also didn't have any pictures anywhere, the place was bare aside from a hoodie thrown over the back of a chair. Roach sat down in the chair and Ghost took the bed. They looked at each other for a long time.
"I've missed you, Roach." Ghost said the words softly, leaning towards him but not reaching out to touch him. "There are so many things I want to talk to you about, but I don't think I'm ready for it yet."
"But there is something you want to say?"
"Yeah, you wanted to know more about me right?"
Roach nodded, still feeling very nervous. He wasn't sure where Ghost was going with this. Ghost sighed and then took off his mask and shades before looking at him again. There was an intensity in his eyes that made Roach's stomach flutter.
"So I'm going to tell you how I became Ghost."
It took a long time for him to explain it all. At one point paused, seemingly unable to go on. But when Roach took his hands and held them tightly, he managed to continue. The story wasn't pretty. Roach could barely believe what Ghost had been through and the fact he was still alive, sitting in front of him was a testament to the man's strength and willpower. When he was finally finished, Roach didn't know what to say. He was still holding Ghost's hands tightly and didn't want to let go.
"So you tell me," Ghost said after a long pause. "Do you still think you could love someone like that?" Their eyes met and Roach knew it made no difference. Nothing Ghost could say or do would change how he felt. This must have shown on his face because Ghost smiled. "Of course you can."
"Nothing's changed," Roach told him firmly. "Nothing."
Ghost chuckled. "You are something else, Roach."
"In a good way?"
"Definitely." He smiled warmly as their eyes met again. It made Roach's stomach flutter harder and he smiled back. He wanted to kiss Ghost but knew he shouldn't. "You make it so hard. I know what's best, but it's hard to resist something you want so badly. Do you understand?"
"More than you could ever know." Roach let go of his hands and sat back. It helped clear his head to put a little distance between them. "But we both know we shouldn't."
"Every man meets his downfall and it's never quite what they expect." Ghost put his balaclava and shades back on. "But I'm not willing to risk my friendship with you when I know I'll wreck it so easily."
"You're getting better though?"
"Yeah. I've been speaking to someone, sorting myself out. But it isn't easy to open up doors that have been locked a long time." Ghost sighed and after a moment stood up. "It's getting easier to talk about it. Maybe one day I'll feel like Simon again."
Roach stood too and hugged him tightly. He pressed his face into Ghost's chest and whispered, "I'm here Ghost. Whatever you need from me." Slowly he felt Ghost return the hug. "I'm with you."
"I'm with you too."
A/N:
So originally I did write out what happened to Ghost, but it felt too dark to put into the story so I've made a seperate story for it instead. If anyone want's to read it, I've included the link or just go to my works and it's called 'Ghost's Story'.
s/13987718/1/Ghost-s-Story
