Chapter 13:

It was two weeks before they had a mission. In those two weeks, Roach trained hard to get back in focus and ready. It wouldn't be good if he went into action still rusty so every day he trained until it felt like he was going to drop from exhaustion. Ghost helped him but nothing more than normal banter passed between them. For the present moment, they were friendly but nothing more.

Roach was still processing everything Ghost had told him. Sometimes he would find himself wondering how many other scars Ghost had hidden, how he could still smile and laugh after everything he'd been through. Then he would shake himself out of those dark thoughts and remember that Ghost was still healing, he wasn't fixed.

So Roach made himself a promise that he would do everything he could to make sure Ghost got a happy ending. He deserved it more than anybody.

Shepherd had loaned the task force out to help the marines retake a city in the Red Zone in Afghanistan. Insurgents had managed to push their forces back and were holding hostages in the city, including a school full of children. Their mission was to retake the school and protect the kids at any cost whilst the marines pushed back in to reclaim the city.

Once the push had started and the insurgents were distracted they moved fast to surround the school. It had very little protection outside and within a few minutes, they had control of the area. Soap and Ghost led the way inside to find and secure the children whilst the rest of the team took up defensive positions in case they were attacked.

Roach was standing guard outside the front entrance when Poet joined him. His pale, drawn face made Roach's stomach drop. "What's wrong? The kids…"

"Dead." He said quietly and he sat down on the steps, holding his head in his hands. "All of them, dead. We were too late."

Roach closed his eyes momentarily and sighed. But then he returned to watching the empty street, Poet wasn't looking too good right now and one of them had to keep watch. He tried not to think about those kids, what was inside.

"Ghost's gone crazy in there."

"What?" Roach asked sharply and forgetting about the watch he crouched down next to Poet. "What's wrong with Ghost?"

"He's stood in there with all those kids… laughing." After a pause, Poet looked up at him. "Dude, it's kinda scary. I think he's lost it."

"Keep watching ok? I'm going to go see."

"Roach, what are you going to do?"

He just shook his head in reply and ran inside the school. It didn't take long to find Ghost, all he had to do was follow the laughter. The closer he got the more terrifying it sounded. He found Meat and Ozone guarding the room and they both exchanged dark looks and shook their heads.

"Roach you really don't want to go in there."

"Seriously, it's bad."

"I'll be fine. Go and help Poet at the entrance." After hesitating they both left.

The room was dark and heavy with the smell of death. Roach's eyes took a moment to adjust and then he could see Soap crouched on the floor next to Ghost. He was speaking but Roach couldn't hear his words over the laughter. Holstering his gun he crouched down on Ghost's other side.

Soap looked up with a frown, but upon recognising it was him, he sighed. "I'll be just outside." Then he stood and left to take over the watch.

"Ghost," Roach said softly, moving in front of him and taking his hands. They were shaking. "Ghost, I need you to calm down. I'm here with you, be here with me." His hands tensed and Roach squeezed them as the laughter started to subside. "Come on Ghost, come back to me."

After a few minutes, the laughter stopped and Ghost started taking deep, calming breaths. They didn't speak for a long time and Roach sat waiting, keeping a firm grip on his hands.

"Roach…"

"Welcome back." He stood up and pulled Ghost to his feet. Making sure to keep his back turned on the room he led the other man back into the brightly lit corridor. Soap looked at him questioningly but he only shook his head and sat Ghost down against the wall. "You're gonna be ok." Sitting down next to him, Roach put an arm over his shoulders and gripped his hands again.

After a while, Soap came over and crouched down. "All good, mate?"

Ghost chuckled weakly. "All sunshine and rainbows."

Squeezing his shoulder, Soap stood again. "Alright. I'll leave it to you, Roach. I've got to contact Command." And then he left.

They didn't speak for a long time. Roach was trying to forget how insane Ghost had sounded. He knew it wasn't his fault, that seeing all those bodies must have triggered it. But the laughter had scared him, scared the whole team. Even Soap had looked strained.

After a while, Ghost pulled his hands free and removed his mask. Roach was surprised to see his face wet with tears. "Shit." He cursed and his hands balled into fists. "I'm sorry, Roach. I guess once you open a door, it's hard to keep the demons out."

"It's ok."

Ghost shook his head. "No, it's not. I just… I lost my head. I forgot how small Joseph was…" He started shaking again.

"Hey," Roach said firmly. "It's not your fault. Not Joseph, not these kids… They told us the kids were still alive but they've been gone a long time. The intel was wrong. We couldn't save them." He paused before saying tentatively, "How were you supposed to know they'd kill your family?"

"I should have known the moment Sparks turned up!"

Roach was ready for the outburst so he didn't flinch away. The pain in Ghost's voice made it hard for him to speak. "But you didn't. Look at me," he grabbed his hands again and Ghost looked up. "It wasn't your fault."

"You have no idea how badly I want to believe that."

"Then trust me. Trust what I'm telling you." He looked into Ghosts eyes, hoping he would see the conviction in his own. "Nobody blames you so stop blaming yourself."

He hated seeing Ghost like this, hating the pain he was putting himself through. But how could you get through to a man who had been blaming himself for so many years? All Roach knew was that he had to keep trying and then maybe one day, Ghost would hear him.

Roach also knew what he was talking about and for a moment his thoughts turned to Rook. "Just like Prague..."

"Roach don't-"

"Blame myself? Like you blame yourself over your family?"

They looked at each other for a long time. Finally, Ghost smiled bitterly. "I wish you didn't understand so well."

"So do I." He looked down at their entwined hands and sighed. "But in a way, I'm glad because at least I can say I know what I'm talking about. You're not alone, Ghost. You never will be again." Ghost's arms were around him, sudden and tight. Slowly Roach hugged him back and smiled into his chest. "I'm here with you, always."

The sound of gunfire broke them apart quickly. Soap came running back down the corridor. "We've got to move, the marines have pushed the insurgents back to this block. There's nothing left to protect so we're clearing out so they can continue their advance." He paused and looked at Ghost. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah." Ghost stood and pulled his balaclava back on. "I'm good now. Let's get the hell out of here."

Roach followed them outside to find most of the team had already moved out. It wouldn't be easy to move in a big group so they were splitting up and heading towards the marines to help. By the end of the day, the city was back in their control.

"It always helps when they call the big boys in." Ozone joked, pulling off his shirt and wiping the dirt off his face with it. "After all, we're the best of the best right?"

"Yeah but don't go shouting that too close to the marines," Scarecrow warned him. "Unless you want to find yourself dangling from the rooftops."

"I'd like to see them try." Ozone made a show of pumping his biceps and kissing them. "Have you seen these guns?"

"Alright ladies, the show's over." Soap threw the discarded shirt over his head. "We're moving back to base so let's get our asses in gear shall we?"

Ghost had been quiet in the aftermath of the battle and keeping to himself. Not that anyone had made an effort to talk to him. Roach knew the others had been unnerved by their Lieutenant's crack up in the school. Hell he had been too. But he was one of the few who knew how deep the scars ran in Ghost's head.

So when they boarded the carrier to head back to base, he sat down next to Ghost and smiled reassuringly at him. "Still here?" He asked tiredly.

"Still here." Roach replied confidently. "Got a problem with that?"

"No." And Ghost squeezed his hand quickly. "I'm glad of it. Thank you, Roach."

"Anytime."