Sagwa didn't want to open her eyes. She didn't want to see a horde of strangers. The pillow she had been spared was infinitely softer than the ground and even the tower bed at the palace. If she kept her eyes closed, she could pretend that she was someplace even nicer; where cats were treated well out of the goodness of someone's heart and not just because they could write. Her legs were still sore, her feet still ached, her grandmother was dead...No, she didn't want to mingle right now.
And then she remembered that today, Sheegwa would find them there. Waiting for her.
Hopefully she wouldn't be too upset with Sagwa when they told her how long they looked. How far they went. How many animals they had found support with. Was it normal for Sagwa to wonder if her family would do the same for her? It wasn't something she had been wondering long; but as she practically slid off the cushion to stretch her limbs, she found herself unable to just let it go.
Sagwa picked up her pillow and dragged it to a pile of them that grew every time someone woke up. Looking towards the pier, she saw Siao-Po looking out at the water...and a young Siamese cat by his side. Suddenly feeling an onslaught of emotion, Sagwa bounded closer, until she began to hear their words. She skittered to a stop, listening to the cats converse. The Siamese had a powerful accent that turned her words into art.
"When are you going to stop making excuses for your mate? You can't pardon this."
"You know what I can and cannot do? You've been here five weeks."
"That doesn't make me a fool. Don't get caught up in your own little world."
"If my world is too small for you, Hana, there's a bigger one out there. We don't need your negativity. There are no rivals here."
"So this is how you treat your friends?" Hana spat. She stood up with a scoff. "We will see how small your world becomes today." She turned around, eyeballing Sagwa as she left.
Alone with Siao-Po, Sagwa delicately cleared her throat. He spared her a hasty glance over his shoulder, looked out at the water for another moment before approaching her.
"Can I ask?"
"You can," he acknowledged.
"What can't you pardon?" she asked falteringly.
He made a dismissive sound, looking quietly over his camp; and Sagwa reflected his words to her grandfather: My mate invited him, and they're buddies.
"Something about Wu-Ming?" Her question startled him.
"Yes! That's...I should have known you were smart." He looked begrudgingly at her. "Wu-Ming and I had words, and he..." Siao-Po scoffed. "Ruined the food supply."
"I'm sorry, Siao-Po."
Again, that dismissive noise.
"You might know Sheegwa better than I do," she began hesitantly. "But does she...always go missing when this guy acts out?"
His laugh did not taper the cold look he gave her. "You're right, I do know her better." He began to walk by. "And she is not missing," he added. "She's hunting."
Sagwa watched him walk away. And tried to fathom the concept of her baby sister, out on a hunt. And also being a mother. And a leader.
She couldn't.
Sagwa would have preferred speaking to any other relative, but Dongwa was the next one to awaken and Jet-Jet was nowhere in sight. She approached him. They had apologized to each other and forgiven each other, but it was still bumpy. They didn't quite know how to recover.
"Dongwa?" Sagwa asked him. "Listen, Wu-Ming ruined all the food, so I'm going hunting."
"Okay. Watch your back."
"Of course. By the way, where's Jet-Jet?"
Dongwa made a face. "I was afraid you'd ask. He took off with Wu-Ming."
Sagwa's eyes widened. "Really?"
"Yeah. I thought Jet-Jet had bad taste!" he teased.
Sagwa smiled. "Well, Hun-Hun admitted that she did..." she answered suggestively, and walked off as Dongwa sulked.
Alone, she walked through the forest, occasionally glancing up to see a cat running across or resting on the branch. Every once in awhile, laughter would float down to her from a tree house. Still mourning her Nai-Nai, the sound of joy couldn't touch her...although in a weird way, it almost felt nice to be sad about someone else. But she was upset nonetheless, and when she saw the mice, her spirits hit a new low. They did not wear robes, and they rushed away from her in fear; casting dispersions on the way they reminded her of her mice friends.
"Hey, you blind?"
Sagwa spun to see Wu-Ming, his friends, and Jet-Jet. "No."
"Why'd you let them get away then?"
"Didn't you hear?" Jet-Jet added. "There's a food shortage."
"Yeah, I heard. And he's why!"
"Whoa, hey. Don't be spreading rumors about me," Wu-Ming began.
"It's not a rumor. Siao-Po told me!" Sagwa turned her eyes to Jet-Jet. "Why are you hanging out with the lowlife?"
"Why do you care?" one of the pack members demanded. "It's not like you're a couple!"
Sagwa tried to wrap her mind around what she had just heard. She looked up at Jet-Jet, who suddenly appeared speechless.
"Yeah, I hate to break it to you, but you're available. And we're both awfully cute..." Wu-Ming waggled his eyebrows and stood proudly. "What do you think?"
"I think I wish I were blind!" she retorted. Again, she turned her eyes to Jet-Jet. "What have you been saying?"
Jet-Jet still didn't know what to say. Sagwa turned around and walked away from him; and she vaguely heard Jet-Jet make a hasty excuse. When she heard him running after her, he was alone. She turned quietly away and kept going.
"Sagwa, wait! Let's talk about this! I can explain."
She turned so quickly that he had to skitter to a stop to avoid a collision. "Fine! Explain it!" she demanded. "Explain why you stuck with us for six months. Taking risks for my family if it meant nothing to you..." She stopped, waiting for an answer that didn't come. "Well? You wanted to talk. I'm listening."
Jet-Jet looked at her apologetically. Took a deep breath. And said words that shocked and pained her.
"I'm going back to the alley."
She blinked a few times. "What?"
"Wu-Ming and his friends are coming with me."
"But I'm not!"
He nodded slowly. "I know. But you got your sister back..." He shrugged. "I want my brothers back."
She withdrew, eyes flashing.
"You understand, right?"
"You'd think I would, wouldn't you?" she retorted. "How could you do this to me?"
"This isn't about you."
"No! It's about you. It's all about you."
"Yeah, Sagwa. It is. For the first time in six months. Six months that I never left your side. You're right, I did take risks for her. I have a permanent scar because of her! It feels good to think about myself! You never asked for my company, I gave it to you! And you never even thanked me for it!"
He turned and ran from her presence. She stood frozen in the forest, feeling her tail slowly droop.
Sagwa was heartbroken and furious at the same time as she ran back to camp with a mouthful of dead rats. She was following her mother, who was carrying fish on her back. Mama came up to an old shed that was concealed nicely in the forest, very close to camp. She let herself in and unloaded, smiling at her daughter as she neared. But Sagwa walked silently past her in a cloud of misery. And stumbled into a very empty storage room.
She dropped the rats, partially in shock. This place had been picked clean; and it made her wonder who was the biggest jerk; Wu-Ming, or her sister's mate...
"Now, now, Sagwa. I know we're all grieving Hui-An, but it's nothing to be angry about! She loved you! And this is a natural part of life."
"It's not about Nai-Nai!" Sagwa snapped.
"Then what's the matter?"
"I don't want to talk about it. I just need to be alone. But there's cats everywhere I go!"
"I can show you a place you'll be alone."
"Great. Where?"
Smiling sadly, Mama turned away, latching onto the door with her tail; and as she left, she pulled it shut.
Sagwa sat down hard on the floor, blinking back tears as her eyes adjusted to the dark.
Much sooner than she would have preferred, the shed door came slowly open with a loud creak. Sagwa jumped to all paws, whirling defensively to stare at the form of a long-haired monster glaring at her.
"Oh, hi," Sagwa began. And screamed as the cat lunged, knocking her off her paws. "Wait! What are you..."
"Nasty thief!"
"No! No, I made a delivery; it was Wu-Ming!" Sagwa yelled, trying to shield her face from the onslaught of swinging nails and gnashing teeth. "A black cat! With blue eyes!" She managed to squirm away, and made a beeline for the door. And something slapped into her hind legs. She whirled, narrowly dodging a swinging boot.
Sagwa grabbed onto the boot with her teeth. Fighting for the weapon and growling with effort, the pair pushed each other out of the shed.
And Sagwa's eyes flicked up to the folded ear. And down, to the plain, stinky antique collar.
She let go of the boot, causing her rival to lurch back.
"Sheegwa?"
Her opponent lunged again, still holding the boot. Sagwa raised a paw and pushed on the toe of the boot, refraining her wild sister from coming any closer. "Sheegwa Miao!" she said, her voice hard. "From the Magistrate's palace!"
Sheegwa just stared at her, with an intense look of...well, possibly hatred; Sagwa didn't dwell on it. She took a step back, surveying the changes in her sister. They were the same size and their markings were identical.
Not liking the confusion in her eyes, Sagwa felt compelled to jog her memory. "Uh, the gang's all here," she said. "Well, except Nai-Nai; she...didn't quite make it this far. And Jet-Jet is leaving; but he...he stuck with us for six months. We looked everywhere! We broke out of cages for you, we wrote signs for you, we asked every kind of...animal," she said, hesitating when Sheegwa spat out the boot. She tried not to show how nervous she was as Sheegwa walked closer; her neglected, filthy nails clicking on the floor. Sheegwa sat down and slowly raised her terrifying claws. "Uh, so Fan's pretty cute," Sagwa blurted, and suddenly Sheegwa was hugging her.
Sagwa felt her head turn. "Don't leave me."
"Oh, no, no, no. Jet-Jet is on his own," Sagwa said, sinking her paw into her sister's neglected fur. She lifted it up, seeing dirt and dried mud matting her hair. "I thought you hated me," she said breathlessly.
Sheegwa stepped backwards. "Why?"
"Well, because of...the window."
Sheegwa's smile was an instant reminder of how she looked when she was clean, taken care of, and...a child. "You didn't close it on me! The human did!"
Sagwa smiled, overwhelmed with relief as six long months of life-draining self-hatred was chased away by the happiness on her sister's face.
"I can't believe you're here."
"I can't believe you're here!" Sagwa echoed. They stood still for a moment as each of them memorized her sister's face. Then Sagwa smiled, walking forward and putting a paw on her sister's head. "Sheegwa," she said, "We have a lot of catching up to do."
They hugged again.
"So! Are you ready to see Mama and Baba and Dongwa and Yeh-Yeh?"
"Yes. No. Yes." Sheegwa examined herself and held her head up high. "Yes," she said firmly. "No."
Sagwa giggled as they began to wander back to camp. "I understand exactly how you feel."
