Chapter 29: Is being Blonde and Angry just a Xiaolong thing or...
-At the Airport-
The afternoon air was warm, signaling the ever-encroaching season of summer. It was peaceful days like these that the dragon leader wished to simply live in the moment and savour the serenity... yet he couldn't help but feel the prickling nervousness that bubbled in his subconscious. Nova, Yang, and Ruby were boarding the bullhead to Patch, their bags in tow. Luna, Weiss, and Hex stood to see them off.
"Are you sure you'll be okay without me?" Nova asked, placing a hand on his sister's shoulder, searching her eyes for confirmation. He felt incredibly nervous to be willingly leaving his sister behind, even if she was staying with their mother. Being metaphorically joined at the hip since birth, it was like tearing off a band-aid.
The blue dragon smiled, "I'll be fine, mom. Besides, I'll be with actual our actual mother, I'm a big girl now so I can take care of myself." She poked her brother, pushing his hand off her. If she was being honest with herself, she had no idea what she would do with her time. She wanted to stay with him since he was some weird combination of her brother, her mother, father, best friend and leader, but she knew more than anything that he needed time away from her. They both did.
Nova stuck a finger into her cheek, "Just don't give mom too much trouble, she hasn't had the chance to raise you so I told her if anything goes wrong, especially with your power training, to give me a call."
"She'll be fine, stop being a worrywart and go spend some quality time with your girlfriend."
Nova turned red, "Pssh It's not like we're going alone... Yang and their dad's gonna be there..."
"Think of this as a miniature vacation. We'll go on an actual relaxation trip once the tournament is over." Hex said pushing him toward the ship. Ruby and Yang had long since boarded.
Weiss flicked his forehead, "Make a good impression on Ruby's old man. Remember the table manners I taught you." She said referring to the time she spent training him on how to be a proper lady. He just rolled his eyes and waved goodbye as he boarded the aircraft.
Nova took up his seat at the side of Ruby, near the window of the three-seater row, with Yang at the front. Since this was technically considered a vacation, they weren't allowed to use the usual military-grade bullheads and were subject to traditional passenger planes. The primary downside to this was that they forgot 'first-class' was a thing and ended up booking economy, so the legroom was in short supply. Even if they did remember to get first-class tickets, he doubted Yang or Ruby would want to spend the extra cash, though he didn't mind sponsoring them.
He never was one to pay money much mind, even when he was living on the streets, he didn't see money as an object. As long as it kept his sister from getting sick or going hungry, he didn't care how much he had to spend.
Even now, Randolf didn't leave them with much, but... with the help of the world's greatest hacker they... may or may not have forged a few bank accounts, and stole one cent from every single bank account across Remnant and deposited it in their own.
They took advantage of the bank's tax systems so whenever there was a money transfer the one extra cent would show up as tax. The money was bounced across several locations before inevitably ending up in their virtual pockets.
It wasn't stealing as long as nobody cared. He didn't feel bad about it, Luna never questioned it and frankly, they didn't care either, especially when most of their income came from taxing the SDC.
"What took you so long?" the blonde asked as Nova was one of the last people to board the ship, barely squeezing his way into their small aisle.
"You know the drill, gotta make sure everything is secure with Luna before I leave." He said closing his eyes and leaning against Ruby's shoulder.
The red leader smiled and kissed the top of his head, "You are such a caring brother."
Yang smirked, "Bet he'd make a great dad to…"
Nova's eyes went wide but he made no move to react as he was mentally shocked, staring blankly at the wall, while Ruby turned the colour of her hood. "YANG NO! Well… maybe not now…"
Yang had to mentally slap herself at that response, even Nova shrunk further down into his seat, his eyes staring up at her in awe.
"Holy shit… don't let dad catch you two saying stuff like that, pretty sure Nova wouldn't even get the chance to… you know…" she made the gesture of pushing her index into a hole made by her other hand's thumb and index.
"CAN WE NOT DISCUSS THIS RIGHT NOW?!" Nova almost died of embarrassment.
"I'm just saying If I wake up in the middle of the night and I hear…"
"YANG PLEASE!"
"ARF!" came a familiar barking sound from above their head.
Nova paled, "Ruby you did not…"
"Well… they wouldn't let me bring him on board because you can't exactly travel with pets so…" she said nervously.
"So, you stuffed him in your bag? How did you make it past security?!" he asked incredulously, this wasn't like the mission where they had military clearance, this was a passenger flight, so they had to go through the normal processes.
Ruby waved her hand dismissively, "Pfft no, of course not! I'm not stupid. I had Yang stuff him in the mailing cylinder so he would make it through the scanners. Everyone knows the scanners don't pick up Aura sealed mailboxes."
"They can't pick up a dog in a mail cannister but they can pick up my precious baby?" He asked incredulously, referring to Asura.
Nova shuddered, remembering how they pulled him aside during the scanning process because he and Ruby had their weapons in their carry-ons. They'd be damned if they let the baggage guys man-handle their precious babies.
It was even more awkward when he had to try to explain why he had women's clothing and 'necessities' in his bag, which he brought in case he was forcibly regressed into his female body. Thankfully Ruby came to his rescue saying they were for her, and Ozpin came to their rescue by granting them Beacon Academy weapon's clearance. He might not be loyal to the headmaster, but he was damn grateful they were on his good side.
Patch was, peaceful if to summarize in one word. An island without the bustling of towns and big cities. Just miles and miles of untamed wilderness and white sandy beaches. The weather was warm and the air smelled clean, it did absolute wonders for his Dragon senses.
The girls, plus Nova, finally arrived at the airport, and after passing through the formalities, exited to find a tall man with a tanned complexion, blue eyes, and a khaki outfit. He looked like Yang except his hair was a lighter, more tame blonde.
"DAAADDDD!" Ruby squealed tackling her father, Yang coming up behind her. The older man chuckled and ruffled his youngest daughter's hair.
"Hey kiddo, Firecracker. Looks like I made it just in time to pick you up." He said giving both of them a warm hug. "I missed you two so much!" he squeezed.
Yang laughed and pushed him off lightly, "Great to see you too dad."
The man folded his arms and looked around, "Where's that so-called, co-leader, you've been telling me so much about? Ruby just would not shut up about him… He didn't chicken out, did he?"
Yang and Ruby glanced around curiously to see if they spotted Nova. "No… he was with us up until a minute ago…" the reaper trailed off until she heard disgruntled complaints coming through the doors.
"OH FOR THE LOVE OF… How many times do I have to tell you, people, if I'm going to have to pay nine Lien for a single bottle of cola, I might as well just stay thirsty!" the familiar male voice could be heard as he stomped out of the automatic doorway, with a bottle of cola in his hands.
"I swear to Oum, these airports overprice their drinks on purpose… bunch of lousy money-grubbers…" Nova said looking rather irritated, before taking a sip from the cold soda.
"OOOH IS THAT CHERRY COLA?! GIMME!" Ruby squealed running to meet her boyfriend as he approached the trio.
"Ruby… what have I told you about intaking both caffeine and sugar at the same time?" he asked raising his eyebrow.
Ruby pouted, "That it makes me way too hyper than I already am but you love me anyway so you always give me?" she offered her cutest puppy dog eyes.
Nova rolled his eyes, "Only because I can't say no to that face…" he handed her the bottle to which she gratefully drank from, ignoring that it was an indirect kiss or the fact that Yang and her father were watching the interaction with amusement… and irritation.
"AHEM!" the older male coughed into his hand, garnering the attention of Nova and Ruby. The dragon in question was a little confused at first but once he saw the resemblance between Yang and the man, and the smug look on the brawler's face… he instantly went on alert mode.
In a millisecond he detached himself from Ruby and shifted to a healthy distance, walking up to meet the man. "Mr. Xiaolong, I'm…"
"Nova, right?" He finished for him. Nova nodded. "Qrow and my daughters refuse to shut up about you. I feel like I actually know you already before even meeting you…" he said exasperated.
Nova felt his sweat drop, "Um… is that a good thing?"
"Well if you count all the praise, my brother-in-law… who almost never has anything good to say about ANYONE… gives you, and the fact that my daughters won't stop praising you either, a good thing then… yes." He said with a smug look.
"Taiyang Xiaolong, father of these two miscreants. It's good to finally meet the esteemed hero of Vale." He smiled while Ruby and Yang shot double peace signs at being called miscreants.
"Hero? Are you referring to the breach?" Nova turned to him curiously as they stepped into the car.
"That very same one."
"Calling me a hero is a bit of a stretch...with all due respect sir, I can't take full credit for that. Most of it goes to my team, especially Ruby… she saved most of us that day." He said refusing to accept praise.
"From what Ruby's told me, if not for your plans and quick thinking they'd all be worse for wear so…" Tai responded, leaving almost no room for Nova to argue.
The ride to the house wasn't as awkward as he'd expected, since most of it consisted of the girls catching up with their dad while he just sat in amusement, petting Zwei on his lap.
The Xiaolong-Rose abode was a simple… but rather large, wooden house, it looked more akin to a giant log cabin than a house, as it sat nestled comfortably in the middle of a small clearing of the forest.
"HOME SWEET HOME!" Ruby screamed as she used her semblance and dashed hers, and everyone's bags, and Zwei inside while the rest of them were still walking up to the front door.
Nova sighed and rubbed his temples, "This is why I don't like giving her caffeine…"
Tai chuckled, "Tell me about it… that's why I hid the coffee from her for years, good thing she doesn't like the taste of the stuff otherwise we'd be missing a few years of our lives…" he shuddered
Nova grabbed hold of Ruby as she zipped past them and set her down next to them, "Ruby… I know Weiss isn't here but I'm gonna need you to chill for a few minutes okay?"
Yang snickered, "Nice…" while Tai just looked on in bewilderment.
Ruby pouted, "Fineee…" before she, unwillingly, walked into the house, like a normal human being for once.
Tai was surprised, "Wow… you managed to get her to calm down… instantly… that's actually impressive…" he marveled.
Nova snorted, "Trust me, I live with her on a daily basis, either you adapt or you get swept away…"
As the two girls walked inside, Tai held Nova back. The dragon looked up at Xiaolong senior curiously. Once the two girls were practically out of earshot Tai placed a hand on Nova's shoulder.
"What's the deal Mr. Xiaolong?" Nova raised an eyebrow, wondering if this was going to be the classic dad to daughter's boyfriend lecture.
"I want to thank you." This caught the dragon by surprise.
"Excuse me?"
"I want to thank you for keeping my daughters safe. I know how the life of a Huntsman is. I used to be one myself… before I became a teacher at Signal. I know how crazy things get, how easy it is to lose your life. Not a day goes by when I'm not worried that they'll be okay… but the fact is you've kept them alive… on more than one occasion if what Qrow says is true. So… thank you… as a father, and as a fellow Huntsman, thank you."
Nova was completely caught off guard. He hadn't expected such a heartfelt string of words from the older man.
"I uh… no thanks, necessary Mr. Xialong… I was just doing my duty as a Huntsman… and as their friend. Oum knows where I'd be without them… I'd lay down my life to protect them." He smiled firmly shaking the blonde's hand.
Tai chuckled, "Of course, of course… you can drop the Mr. Xiaolong. Just call me Tai or whatever you want once it's not old man."
Nova smiled, "Alright 'pops'. " he snickered.
Tai pinched the bridge of his nose, "Fine, I did say you can call me what you like… come on the girls are probably wondering what we're doing outside."
As they stepped inside, Nova marveled at the humble yet classy living space of the Xiaolong-Rose family. The living room took up the majority of the downstairs, with a long green couch and a separate armchair atop a large mint green rug. A projection television screen most likely a Light Crystal Dust Display, sat atop a small table. The kitchen was a rather standard size, with the addition of a dining table atop a yellow rug.
Zwei had a little doggy bed at the side of the couch in the living room. Speaking of Zwei, the moment Nova entered the house the dog came running down the stairs and jumped into Nova's arms, licking him on the face.
"ZWEI! Doggy spittle nooo! It's good to see you too boy." He said putting down the corgi and wiping his face.
Tai smiled, "Looks like the dog likes you, that's always a good sign." He teased causing Nova to blush. For some reason Tai hadn't brought up the fact that Ruby and Nova were dating… which was strange…
"AH Zwei! I told you not to jump on Nova like that! Sorry, Zwei is just excited to be home again." Ruby said sheepishly as she reached up and used a handkerchief to wipe Nova's face.
"Ruby, you've got a fine leader with you I must say." Tai commended placing an arm around Nova.
The dragon chuckled, "See Ruby? I got your dad's approval." He said with a thumbs up.
Ruby instantly paled, and Tai's grip around the dragon suddenly increased. "Umm… Approval?" He asked in a low voice.
Nova who was unaware of the growing danger to his side responded, "Well yeah you know? Approval since I'm dating Ruby. I'm just glad you didn't freak out and try to kill me as soon as you saw me…"
Ruby instantly flinched and shrunk behind the couch.
Nova noticed this reaction and deadpanned.
"Ruby is there something you forgot to mention?" Tai said dangerously, and Nova felt his blood run cold.
"Um… Nova… Remember when I said I told dad that you were my boyfriend and that he wanted to meet you?" She asked with an awkward look.
"Yeah…?"
"I lied… He just wanted to meet you…. I didn't actually tell him you were my boyfriend…. IT WAS YANG'S IDEA!" She squealed at ran up the stairs with her semblance.
Nova shook his head in dismay and pried himself from Tai's iron grip. "So uhh… Tai… are we going to sit and talk about this like civilized people or… are you going to do the same thing Yang did and try to kill me?"
To say Taiyang Xiaolong's face was angry was an understatement. He was practically livid.
"Come on Tai, what about all that stuff of approving of me earlier huh?"
"That was before I knew you were dating my youngest daughter." He said in a quiet tone.
Nova sighed in dismay. "Fine, can we discuss this outside? Where things won't break?"
"Gladly."
The two men strode back outside and stood squaring off in the open field in front of the house. Yang and Ruby followed shortly after, sitting themselves down on the front stairs just outside the door.
"Dad, are you seriously doing this right now?" Yang asked chewing on what seemed to be beef jerky. She was completely unphased by the scene before her. On the other hand, Ruby was quite nervous.
"Of course I do sweety, I am NOT giving up my youngest daughter without a fight." He said without looking at her.
Nova sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was so done with this. "Tai, you're being a little irrational right now. I've already gone through the phases with Yang and gotten the lecture. I do NOT need this right now."
The elder Xiaolong stared him unwaveringly, "Hmph you talk as if you're not scared that I'm about to bash your skull in."
Yang almost spat out her food in laughter, "Oh dad! That's rich! If that's what you think's going to happen then you'll be royally surprised!"
Nova stretched his arms in the air, not even bothering to draw Asura. Tai wasn't using his weapon either so it wouldn't be fair.
"What's so funny?" The blonde asked his daughter, looking a little annoyed that she wasn't on his side. "You know most people would be terrified if they were in your position." He said turning back to Nova.
The dragon just continued to stretch and warm himself up, "Honestly Tai? I've seen scarier things come out of my sister's closet. I've faced more than enough of my fair share of battle to even be remotely intimidated by you."
Tai wanted to be angry, he wanted to flare up in rage at the boy before him, but he could tell he was stating facts, not just mouthing off hot air. His scars and eyes told a story of someone who'd seen countless death. He wasn't just some kid… he was a warrior.
"Dad just… be careful…" Ruby said nervously, finally finding her voice. "Nova, please don't actually hurt dad."
Tai looked at her confused, "You're worried about…. Me?"
"Dad, did Qrow never tell you?" Yang asked tilting her head.
"Tell me what?"
"That Nova here's beaten him… several times… and that was before the power-up…"
The man looked at Nova incredulously, "That true?"
"Unfortunately. Kicked the old man's ass enough times to say I could probably fight one on one with any professional huntsman." Nova said without a shift in his gaze.
"Well colour me impressed. Still… you'll find I'm nothing like him." With that Tai launched himself at Nova in full swing.
Nova blocked the oncoming left hook and countered with his own right. Tai blocked that and tried for an uppercut but missed by a hair's fraction of a space. Nova reacted almost instantly, using the momentum of his dodge to turn a spin kick onto Tai, sending him sprawling into a tree.
The fact that Tai challenged him despite all his previous praise was irritating. That coupled with the inherent raw pig-headedness that seemed to be ingrained into the Xiaolong blood had set his anger to a boiling point... so he took his frustrations out on the nearest thing... or person. He almost felt a little bad about using Tai as a form of stress relief…. Almost.
Before he had time to relish in his moment, Tai came out of the smoke in a flurry of golden hair and red eyes, very similar to Yang's semblance. His power was increasing with each hit taken.
Nova barely blocked the flurry of punches only to be blindsided by an elbow swing from his left.
"FUCK That hurts!" He rubbed the spot where Tai hit. The old man packed a serious punch, and he was fighting dirty. It seemed anger tended to blind one's sense of honor.
"Come on, don't tell me that's all you had in you?" the blonde was clearly enjoying himself now.
"Ugh, you sound like Yang…" Nova groaned before kicking up with his legs and sending a flying kick toward the man, only to be caught mid-air and swung like a shotput. Nova latched himself onto a nearby tree and kicked off, this time with much more force and sending a fist into the older blonde's gut.
There was an audible 'ACK!' as Tai cratered into the forest.
"Uh... Should I go look for him?" Nova asked pressing his hand over his brow, scanning the treeline for Tai.
"Nah he'll be fine..." Yang said with a dismissive wave. As she spoke a loud snapping sound was heard in the forest and a few birds flew out of it, "Oh there he is now..." Tai had come back out with what looked to be a tree.
"You took up a log? Really? That's what we're doing now? " Nova shook his head in dismay as Tai threw the log like a javelin. Curiously enough there was an unfortunate family of squirrels living inside a hollowed-out hole in the trunk. Nova caught the log mid-air, carefully placed the squirrels on the ground and uttered a quick apology to them before he used it as a bat to smack Tai into the ground forming a crater.
"Seriously, I might be the Aspect of Fire but you are being really hot-tempered right now. You should probably let off some of that steam before you overheat yourself." He started laughing at his own puns. Ruby wasn't sure, but she could've sworn she saw one of the squirrels facepalm...
Yang was reeling on the floor in a fit of giggles, "Ruby, I wholeheartedly hope you two get married, this guy's a riot!"
Ruby just blushed and twirled her thumbs in embarrassment, "Maybe one day..."
Tai got up from the crater, his hair and eyes now glowing like shining lights. He'd taken maximum damage, so now he was on maximum output.
"OH, fu-" Was all Nova could manage to say as Tai sent a light speed fist crashing into his gut, sending his aura into the red zone before he landed.
Tai stood up looking rather pleased with himself. His smug look was quickly wiped when Nova got pissed, and rose up from the crater, a giant ball of fire in his hands, looking like a miniature sun in the middle of a fiery scaled palm. the grass around the ball was drying up and dying from heat.
Tai marveled in awe at the power the boy was wielding, the fact that he'd given all of his strength to push the dragon to this point, and the boy was still holding back was incredible. He was willing to accept his loss.
"NOVA DON'T!" Ruby yelled pulling away both their attentions. Instantly Nova dissipated the fire and calmed down, he dusted himself off and stretched a bit.
"You are so lucky you're her dad. I was about to cook you six ways to Sunday." Nova sighed and walked up to the beaten brawler and helped him up. He was standing there looking like he'd been in a train accident four times in a row.
Tai groaned and stretched his back, a few audible pops and cracks were heard. "You kidding me? That last punch took all my aura and you're still standing…"
Nova smiled, "Yeah well it helps that my semblance is adaptation. I'd adapted to your constant punches a while ago so I was just taking reduced damage with each hit. It also doesn't help that I'm an Aspect of Remnant…." He said without thinking. Instantly holding his hands over his mouth as if it would stop further secrets from spilling.
Tai gaped, "Did you just say… Aspect of Remnant?"
Now it was everyone else's turn to be confused, "You know of my kind?" Nova asked.
"Know of you? One of my old friends was obsessed with them, he used to tell me this story about the Faunus and their so-called forgotten history… 'course he was a dragon so it made sense that he would know something…" Tai's words faltered when he noticed Nova's Faunus traits. "What'd you say your last name was?"
"Flareheart. I'm Nova Alexandrite Flareheart. Prince of all Faunus and current Aspect of Fire."
"Flareheart? You're related to Flint?" Nova was taken aback by the mention of his father's name.
"Yeah…. he's my dad. You know him?"
"Know him? We went to school together. I trained as a huntsman and he worked in the weapons engineering department at Beacon. He would do all the upgrades for me and my team…" he said wistfully.
"I can't believe it… after all these years… his son is dating my daughter… what a weird twisted turn of events." Tai looked as if he was remembering the past.
"So, how is the old dragon doing?"
Everyone else visibly flinched while Nova looked nervous. "Umm…. I haven't seen him in… nine years…"
"Oh… I'd like to know what happened... if that's alright with you."
Nova nodded and followed the elder Xiaolong inside. He then explained his story as they sat around the kitchen eating dinner as if they weren't just trying to kill each other.
"Well, Nova… I do feel bad for you… what you had to go through… I'm sure it must've been awful." Tai said holding the boy at arm's length.
Ruby looked at the interaction curiously.
"It's fine Pops."
"About today… no hard feelings right? We can call it a draw?"
Nova smiled, "I understand man, I'd be the same if someone told me they were going to date my sister, Luna."
Yang snickered, "Dad... he totally kicked your ass."
"Pffttt no…" He tried so hard to deny the truth.
Ruby poked her father in the rib cage, earning a yelp of pain, "You specialize in hand to hand combat... Nova primarily uses his weapon, plus I think he also has claws so he was on the disadvantage the entire fight." she explained as she walked up, leaned over Nova as he sat in the char and buried her head into her boyfriend's hair. The action caused the elder Xiaolong to visibly twitch with irritation... but he held it in.
"So... you got like a spare bedroom or something where I can go dump my stuff?" He asked, glancing around for his bags. "Wait where is my stuff?"
"I took the liberty of putting it upstairs in the room I share with Yang..." Ruby began to explain but faltered when she realized what she'd said out loud... in front of her father.
Nova instantly turned red, "R-Ruby i-it's fine... I'll crash on the couch downstairs, pretty sure me and Zwei will be the best of roommates..." he tried to amend before he incurred the wrath of the elder blonde again.
To his surprise, Tai laughed, "Are you sure? It's quite alright if you bunk with the girls... as long as you sleep on the floor..."
The dragon blinked incredulously, "It's fine Tai... pretty sure the girls would feel weird sleeping in the same room as a guy..."
"Oh please Nova, we've slept in the same close quarters on multiple occasions so you can't pull that bullshit, just admit you want to stay close to your girlfriend and be done with it," Yang said folding her arms.
"What was that?!" Tai felt a vein in his forehead throb.
"N-Nothing, I'm staying downstairs, it's decided. Zwei we're roomies you hear that buddy?" Nova called across the house. The dog in question just sat up in his bead and tilted his head curiously.
Ruby and Nova sat on the couch watching tv, Yang was upstairs on her scroll while Tai was in the kitchen cleaning up after their earlier dinner. Nova offered to help but the elder Xiaolong refused saying something about being terrified Nova break something. It seems even he was aware of the stories of Nova's clumsiness.
"Your dad is... different than what I'd expected," he said as he slouched down on the couch.
"How so?"
"I'm not sure what I expected but he seems like a more mature version of your sister. Don't take this the wrong way but you and he are almost nothing alike." He explained, hoping he hadn't accidentally offended her.
Ruby smiled, "I get that a lot... he says I inherited everything from my mom..." she trailed off, thinking on how much she missed her mother. Nova saw the look in her eyes and instantly pulled her into a warm hug, letting her head lean on his left shoulder while he stroked her hair.
"It's okay to be sad about her you know... just because you're sixteen doesn't mean you have to hide your emotions..."
She kissed his cheek, "I know but... I shouldn't dwell on it like that. Besides, I should be more like you... you spent so many years without your mom and dad, yet you handle it so well. I wish I had that strength..."
"It's not strength... and I don't handle it well... it takes real strength to be true to your emotions. Bottling it up and fighting it as I have just led to anger, eventually when you break, it spills out like a broken dam and there isn't any stopping it."
Her eyes widened in surprise, she hadn't expected that from him. It felt like the more time she spent with him, the more she was learning and, just when she thought she knew it all, she found a little bit more.
"I just hope that if I find my dad, he turns out to be just as cool as yours." Nova smiled, caressing her cheek with his thumb.
She responded by reaching up and kissing him full on the lips, "When you find your dad."
"Right."
Unbeknownst to the two, Tai had been listening in the whole time, he had a newfound respect for that boy, more than he already had.
Nova finally met the father and earned his approval. How will the rest of their vacation go? Who knows... I certainly don't... or maybe I do...
Kinda slacked on the writing today cuz I was hungover from yesterday's party, I think I downed like 16 beers, either way, I woke up like absolute garbage. Don't mix your drinks...or be like me and drink inhuman amounts.
