"Nevermore to leave here, nevermore to leave here; you should never be here!
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know; I know my love can be… the killing kind."
I remembered the silence more than anything. Standing there at attention, arms pressed to my sides, body completely still. So still that it was hard to tell if I was even breathing. Watching with tired eyes as Velga marched back-and-forth across the field, shouting orders and delivering threats, her glare more often than not focusing solely on me when she declared the time limit for the current obstacle course we were supposed to be running. Though no one spoke, I could tell the other children were certain I wasn't going to survive it this time.
My wrist was so badly broken; it was hard to use during our regular training sessions. In fact, all the movement only made it worse- especially when I tried to use both hands as there was no other way out of certain situations. Handlebars are incredibly difficult to get through… it eventually got to the point where I had to pull myself up onto them and climb across instead of swinging- something that actually earned me a beating from Velga and Mistress Augusta. In order to get through I had to think outside the box, but that wasn't what they wanted.
Why though? Is it because they felt it was the "easy" way out? Did they not want their puppets to stray from the determined course? Was it just another way to feel as if they had control over us? I could never quite figure them out. I wasn't even sure how old I was when this had been taking place. I can't… recall… when I had gotten injured as I did; only how it had happened. But… it was that day- the one that was sure to be my last- that Richard suddenly appeared. He was begrudgingly carrying what appeared to be a newborn, a wailing toddler strapped to his back.
Rich and Velga argued for a very long time over something, which soon came to be revealed when he marched over and shoved the infant into my arms- demanding I help him with the nursery. I was a kid and they were kids, so I should know what to do, right? That was his logic. He saved me that day, giving my injury some more time to rest. Yet it never healed right. He acted as my caretaker, going so far as to shield me from some of the worse punishments, but he never truly cared. I was just a pawn in making him stronger- a present to his boss in hopes of obtaining a promotion.
I watched him when he took care of the little ones; there was not a single shred of affection or sympathy. The hand that would rest upon my head and ruffle my hair was not gentle; it was not kind. It was a show of power; a symbol of how he had control over me. I was nothing more than a marionette whose strings he pulled.
I was… nothing.
That's all I was.
So why was I so determined to be something? To have a purpose, to save the other children and pōkemon? To meet with the boy who had most definitely already forgotten about me?
This desire burning inside of me…
I wanted to hold onto it. To reach out and grasp it, no matter how far it tried to escape me…
This place, this nightmare; it was in no way, shape, or form how we were all meant to live. Our happiness was stolen from us. We had to get it back. If the others can't do it, then… I'll do it for them. I'll rescue them. I'm… not alone anymore. Am I? Where… am I? I can't…
It's so cold. It's so cold yet my body feels like it's on fire. What's happening to me?
I can't… breathe. Why can't I breathe? I can't- what is-!?
"-alm down! Going… shock!"
Not again… I don't want to drown again! I haven't made it out yet! That promise I made is still-!
"-runt, it's… -donna, stop! Ansem-!"
I'm scared. I'm scared, I'm scared; I don't want to die! Pressure welled up on my shoulders and I gasped, thrashing about in a desperate attempt to escape the water. It was pulling me down, screams ringing in my ears as buildings collapsed all around me. The sunlight was so bright, digging deep into the watery depths despite the stormy skies. It was as if the weather itself was clashing, whirlwinds and tsunamis flooding the expansive area. There was no escaping this danger; it encompassed all that was around it. Everyone and everything was dying. And I… I was, too.
I could see her standing above me- Mistress Augusta. Her black lips curled up in a manic smile, her laughter ringing loudly over all the screams and sounds of destruction, her red eyes glimmering maliciously. She took pleasure in this, watching as everything fell apart around her. She thrived in the chaos. My limbs flailed against her and the water, struggling to swim up to the surface and failing. My lungs needed air badly; I was going to suffocate like this. She had a hand wrapped around my throat, the other pulling at my hair violently and making sure I couldn't escape her wrath.
I wasn't even aware of the people around me. This wasn't a nightmare anymore; it was a terror. A night terror. One that haunted me continuously, yet somehow more vivid than any other dreams I had before. It was just so real and there. And then… it wasn't.
Everything just went silent.
And when I woke up… I only remembered the memory I had of the day Richard took me under his wing. My head was throbbing and my body felt a little sore, but it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. It was surprising that I could move at all given that Velga was there in the cave; I wouldn't have put it past her to attack me while I was down and out. Still, that didn't mean the world didn't start to spin when I tried to sit up. My stomach twisted and churned and I nearly threw up, body swaying sideways, and I would have fallen back down had it not been for a pair of hands resting on my shoulders.
I flinched and recoiled away at the touch, fearing the worst, not yet having realized my surroundings, momentarily believing it to be one of my attackers before a face came into view. A young girl with blue hair and a pretty face, wearing a white shirt with red overalls. She looked like she was in her early twenties. She wasn't… anyone I knew. "I'm so sorry if I startled you… H-How are you feeling?"
I stared at her for a long moment, confused and a little bit alarmed. Gaze drifting around, I hurriedly took in my surroundings. It appeared that I was in some kind of house- one filled with several pōkemon, all of which were surrounding us. Ansem and Belladonna happened to be curled up against my sides, sleeping soundly save for their unpleasant expressions. Were they… having bad dreams? Why?
I reached out towards them, briefly noting I was covered in several band-aids and bruises, and gently shook them awake. "Vaa?" Ansem blinked groggily, disturbed, before his eyes widened and he shot up onto all four paws, leaping onto my lap and barking at me. "Veva! Vaaa! Eeva!"
Belladonna bounced in the air, flapping her leafy arms, tears welling up in her eyes. It was hard not to flinch at the contact, their weight as they climbed onto me bringing only more pain to my already aching body, but I didn't push them off. I let them remain. "Weepinbell! Weepin!"
She… She was weeping. She and Ansem were both… crying. Why? Were they that upset? Over what? What had happened to us? We were in the caves and then… here? How did we get here? Where was here? I'm so confused. We had fought the fossil nerd, then Rich and Velga showed up, Rich attacked me while Velga went after Brock…
Oh no.
Eyes wide and head snapping up, I kicked the blankets off me and attempted to stand. The woman beside me cried out in protest, getting onto her feet and trying to push me back down, but I smacked her hands away and crawled to the side, staggering sideways when I finally stood. Full of emotion and heart naively panicking, my mind could not take control. There was no time for me to build up a mask, to focus on hiding my expression. This is bad- really bad. When I had finally agreed to let Brock travel with me I claimed in front of his entire family that I would not bear responsibility if he got hurt.
It was his decision to come with me despite my warnings, after all. I would not feel guilt if something happened to him. But… I was lying. I'm always lying. Bottling up my emotions and forcing myself not to feel had become a sort of coping mechanism, building up from a habit needed in order to survive Team Rocket. "No, no, no…!" This wasn't happening. "Brock! Wh-Where is he!?"
All because of my fear… my pride…
He could be hurt. Maybe dead. Velga had attacked him, but what happened after that was a mystery to me. Maybe if I had been more honest, if I hadn't lied to him- to myself- then he might not have gotten put in such danger. He would have been more prepared. This is all my fault. I stumbled across the floor, several pōkemon moving out of the way to avoid getting stepped on, and the woman followed after me with Ansem and Belladonna at her heels. "Th-The caves! I need to back! The caves are-!"
"You need to calm down!" The woman exclaimed, reaching out and grabbing my arms. I reacted poorly, thrashing in her grip and only making myself more nauseous when my skull began to throb. My legs gave out and I fell back, the woman catching me as I collapsed against her chest. It was so cold, but I felt like I was burning up. "You aren't well! Bulbasaur, can you go fetch her friend, please? I don't think she's doing very good…"
It's… all my fault. His father, his little brothers and sisters… they told me to watch over him, to keep him safe. I promised. I said I didn't care, but I had promised. He was so nice to me- for no reason, he reached out his hand and tried to help me. A complete stranger. I don't understand it. I just know that… he's kind. He's kind and was always trying to help me, no matter how much I pushed him away, and in the end I got him hurt.
Wait… what did that lady say? Friend?
I don't have any friends, unless…
After being forced to sit down on a couch, I found my eyes widening when I saw a young male teen enter the house from the front door. His eyebrows raised when he saw me and a relieved smile spread across his face. "Grunt!" Brock dashed over, squatting down in front of me so we were closer in height, beaming. "You're finally awake! How do you feel? Are you hungry? It's been a couple of days, so I imagine so! You won't believe how worried we've been... "
What?
"Is there anything specific you want to eat? I can whip you up something real quick! Oh, wait, that's probably going to be a "no" isn't it?" He frowned, scratching his head as he thought. "Still, maybe if you can think of something you might like to try, you might end up actually tasting it! You never know! Uh, Grunt?" He paused, seeing the way I wasn't responding. I was stunned.
"You're… okay?"
Speaking hurt, voice raspy and throat still pained, but I was scared. Brock tilted his head at my question, smile dropped into a confused frown. "What?"
My shoulders began to shake, vision blurring as a lump formed in the back of my throat. "Y-You're… You're okay? Not… Not hurt?"
"Um, I don't think I am?" He chuckled, giving himself a quick once over and even patting himself on the chest and arms to prove his point. "See? Perfectly healthy! That Team Rocket lady thought she could land a hit on me! Ha. She has no idea what it's like training with rock-type pōkemon everyday! I'm as fit as a Geodude! Check out these guns!"
He rolled up his sleeves, flexing his arms. A strange sound escaped my lips, a mixture between a strangled sob and a weak laugh. Hands flew up to my lips, muffling the noise and covering my face, and I hunched over with my eyes squeezed shut. "I-I'm sorry! I-I'm so sorry…" Brock stopped what he was doing, startled, and stared at me sadly. "This is… a-all my fault; I'm so sorry."
If I hadn't been so determined to hide everything… we could have come up with some kind of plan. He might not have even come along if I told him the truth. My fingers twisted into my hair, which was freed from its messy braids and left to be a tangled mess. Strands fell into my face, sticking to my skin from the falling tears and dripping snot, and I sniffled painfully. Air was coming in-and-out in stuttered bursts; black spots were dancing into my vision.
"I'm sorry…"
"Hey." He hesitated momentarily before reaching out and placing a hand gently on my arm, trying to get me to look at him. "It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong."
"I-I should have-" I hiccuped, feeling as if needles were pricking the inside of my throat with each word I spoke. "-if I told you then-!"
"The same thing would have happened." He stated calmly. "I would have went with you and we still would have gotten attacked." I cringed at that, practically burying my face in my arms at this point. My head was throbbing was so badly; I felt like my skull was going to split apart. I felt so sick. "You warned me, Grunt; that was all you could do. I understand that. You weren't ready to tell me about them. What they must have put you through… I can't even imagine it."
"Th-They could've… They c-could've k… killed you…"
"But they didn't." He said softly, releasing my arm and gingerly grasping my wrists to reveal my puffy red face. I blinked several times, trying to clear my blurry, spotty vision. "Ansem attacked Richard, and Belladonna and Onix helped fend off that Velga woman." He crossed his arms and sighed, leaning away with a shake of his head. "I can't believe that such a beauty could be such a villain… hmph. She's crossed off my list for a potential wife."
I let out a shaky breath upon hearing that, inhaling and exhaling deeply as I tried to calm down. Head lowering once more, I closed my eyes and just concentrated on getting oxygen in-and-out of my aching lungs. "G… Good. That's… good."
Yes. Everything is… fine. He's fine. They're fine. I'm fine. Everything is fine. He wasn't even mad at me. Something I found strange, but was starting to learn was part of his extremely king nature.
"Did… Did they say where they were going?"
"Um, no…" He scratched his chin. "I don't think so. Why? You're not thinking about going after them again, are you!?" Brock looked alarmed when I didn't answer. "After what they did to you? I don't… I don't understand a whole lot, but you lived with Team Rocket, right? That man said he raised you, so were you like… his daughter or something? And you ran away?"
I shook my head at that, biting hard on my trembling bottom lip. It was so hard not to start crying again right now; between my inner turmoil and my throbbing skull, it felt like my brain and heart were both going to shatter.
"Okay, well… it's… I don't know, Grunt." He sat down beside me, the woman from before peering nervously from her spot on the other side of the room. She looked like she wanted to speak, but was holding herself back from doing so because of the tense atmosphere and the conversation Brock was attempting to have with me. "They're dangerous just like you said. Even more than I thought. That man- he… he tried to kill you. There was… There was so much blood and I almost didn't get help in time."
Pain flickered onto his expression and he turned away.
"We were lucky Melanie lived so close by. If she wasn't so skilled with medicine you might not have made it. I did my best to stitch up that wound on your head, but… we should focus on getting you proper treatment. Cerulean City is only a day or two away; we should aim for the hospital there. Maybe… Maybe they can even fix what's wrong with your wrist, too, if that's possible. Get them to look at the burn on your arm."
I don't… know. I need a plan, but… is that really the best one?
"What happens to me," I began slowly, having a difficult time thinking, voice soft and quiet, "doesn't matter. I need… I need to stop them. To save the others."
Brock actually looked angry at that, betraying my earlier observation. "You can't save anyone if you can't save yourself!"
I recoiled away at the shout, shrinking down and clamping my mouth shut, growing quiet immediately. He faltered, realizing at once what he did and seeing how badly I reacted to it, pieces of a puzzle clicking together in his mind. He attempted to relax, lowering his voice.
"G-Grunt, I… I'm sorry; I just… you need to care about yourself more, that's all I'm trying to say." He reached out and I went completely still, holding my breath as he placed a hand on my shoulder. Brock spoke even softer this time, not wanting to scare me any further. "Hey, look at me…"
I don't want to.
When I made no movement Brock shifted, moving off the couch and kneeling in front of me again. I bit the inside of my cheek hard, trying to steel myself so as to not react anymore, telling myself this was all going to be over soon, that it was just another day, that the pain would be gone soon. But then he brushed some of the hair out of my face, trying to get me to meet his gaze. I choked up, shoulders starting to shake.
"Your health matters. I don't know what you were taught or told, but you matter. Okay?"
"...But…"
"No. Do you have any idea how worried I was? How worried Ansem and Belladonna were?"
That was… why they were crying? Because they were upset? Worried since I had gotten hurt? My tired eyes lifted up to look at my pōkemon, seeing them staring at me with pained eyes. They were having bad dreams earlier… just what were they about? I know they liked me, they chose me as a trainer after all, but to care so much about me?
My life, my health, having importance…
It feels wrong. All this time I had been worried for other people, forced to bottle up my emotions and feelings towards what happened to me. In the time and effort it took to survive, I forgot the most important thing. I'm so focused with finding a purpose, in stopping Team Rocket and saving everyone, in finding the boy I met so long ago, that I forgot how to love myself. I forgot how to be happy.
Sometimes… when I'm with Ansem and Belladonna… I feel something close to it. A sense of security. I can almost forget the world around us, focused solely on them. They were so precious; I adored them so much. Yet trying to get close to people, to trust them, was somehow much harder. Trying to let myself open up was… even more difficult. I just felt so alone.
But I'm not alone anymore, am I? Brock reached out and grabbed my hands, holding them with his own, and I flinched again. His fingers were calloused, but not rough. They didn't hold so tight I couldn't pull away. He knew exactly what I was doing; that I was trying to delay the inevitable. He knew I didn't believe what he wanted me to say. But that was exactly why he was trying to get me to say it. To convince me. But why?
I barely even existed.
"Those people you're trying to get back to- they care about you, don't they? That's why you're trying so hard to get back to Hoenn."
No…
I shook my head. He was all wrong. "They… don't. They haven't in… years."
"What?" He was startled. "What makes you say that?"
I almost didn't answer. When I finally did speak my voice was just barely above a whisper, shaking with every word. "It's… what they were taught. I-If it gets them ahead, if it keeps the hurt away, they'll… do anything. They used to be like me at the beginning, scared and a-alone, and I was able to make them smile a little with…"
"With?"
A deep breath. I shook my head, cringing at the memories, attempting to call back the past events that I had long since locked away. "Just… jokes. I-I told… bad jokes a lot. Puns. It's… I don't know. I thought it would cheer them up. But time passed a-and Team Rocket got angry with me, so they convinced them all to focus their hate and anger towards me. It… made them feel better, so I let them. I would just get in trouble if I didn't anyway, so…"
"Grunt…"
"It doesn't matter. I just… want to get them back to their real families." If they're alive. "Team Rocket has to be stopped first, though, and since I'm here I figured I can… do that. After they're defeated in Kanto, I can go back to Hoenn and take them down there as well. I-I know where the hideout is; I can inform the police and… they can do it. It's fine. I'm just a puppet, anyway; all I'm good for is being a stepping stone for other people. But I figured… maybe this time I can do something positive. I can help."
That's really all it was. The need to be useful. To do something right in the world of pure wrong that I've lived in for so long.
Brock squeezed my hands. "You're not a puppet. There are people who care about you; I care about you! You're small and quiet, and maybe a bit distant and cold at times, but that's just because you care."
I inhaled sharply at those words, eyes snapping up to meet his own squinty ones. He was smiling so warmly now, everything he said piercing deep and tearing into a part of my heart I didn't even know was there. A wall that had been built, one that had slowly been coming down during my time spent with my pōkemon yet still standing strong.
"You care too much, I think, about everyone around you. You lie and pile your feelings up inside of you, and all to protect us. But who's protecting you, Grunt? You can't hole yourself up forever. Your emotions, your pain; it will just eat you up inside and leave you with nothing but misery."
I turned away, unable to respond to those words. I felt so dizzy. Suddenly, the woman spoke up. I think her name was Melanie?
"He's right, you know." She stepped forward, a Bulbasaur and several other pōkemon surrounding her. There was an Oddish and a Staryu, a Weedle, and even a Weepinbell. They all appeared to be quite close, yet something in their eyes was… lonely. "These pōkemon you see here were all abandoned or hurt by their trainers, left in the forest to rot. Their hearts have been aching for a very long time and their pain was almost too much for them to bear. But then I took them in and gave them a temporary home; searching for new trainers to take them in. They've learned to open their hearts… and were able to become happier because of it."
Melanie knelt down, picking up a large Bulbasaur and holding it in her arms, making her way over and setting the pōkemon down on the seat seat next to me. The Bulbasaur flicked its little grass whips and gazed at me with narrowed eyes, uncertain… yet concerned. Melanie's expression was a soft one.
"If you can do the same… I'm sure you can become even stronger. But you have to let other people in." She placed a hand on her chest, closing her eyes. "I don't know what exactly happened with you and Team Rocket, but you can't let it haunt you like this. You have to fight back against the pain, to let someone else help you carry the burden. You should reach out to your friends- grasp the hand that they're already reaching out towards you. It'll help you a lot."
My… friends?
I only had one friend that I knew of- two, if you count the pōkemon that boy had with him, but they were so far gone from my memory that I only had the promise to cling onto. The notion that they were real. The hands that were reaching out to me…
Brock broadened his smile, catching my attention, and I stared at our hands, recalling Professor Oak, his assistant Yuna, and Blue. Were they my friends as well? Could I… allow myself to have friends? It's been so long I'm not even sure what friendship was anymore. Besides, there was no need to worry about me; I was a needless existence that lacked memory or purpose. Or, at least, that was what I learned to believe growing up. All these people that had reached out to me, who helped me, who worried needlessly about me… were they speaking the truth?
That I…
"I… matter?"
"Yes!" Brock exclaimed, looking very pleased. He stood, startling me and causing me to look up at him. "You do!"
The pōkemon all jumped about, letting out noises of agreement, and Ansem and Belladonna hovered about my legs. "Veeva! Vaa!"
"Weepin!"
"You really do!" Melanie said, lacing her fingers together. She looked so happy. "Everyone on this planet matters, as do the pōkemon and animals we surround ourselves with! They all deserve joy! That includes you, Grunt!"
"I matter…" I hung my head, eyebrows furrowing as my headache grew, trying to process this. "I… matter?"
Ansem jumped onto the couch and climbed into my lap, standing on his hindlegs and nuzzling my neck, his fur tickling my skin. I blinked and looked down at him, reaching over and scratching behind his ear without thinking about it. Belladonna started to get jealous and Brock had to move out of the way, releasing my hands as the girl wrapped her leafy arms around my legs and whined. A small, very quiet chuckle escaped me and I leaned down, trying to pet her and Ansem at the same time. Bulbasaur watched as I did so, frowning deeply, before reaching out and touching my thigh with his little stubby front leg.
I sniffled, seeing the way it was staring at me. His reddish brown eyes bore into mine. "Saur?"
He must want to be pet too. "O-Okay. I-I guess we can take turns… my hands aren't- well, there's only two of them."
Melanie giggled as she watched, seeing the way all the pōkemon were fighting over who got pet next. I was currently trying to stretch over to cuddle an Oddish, who was almost getting pushed by the other Weepinbell. Ansem had settled himself onto my lap, declaring dominance over the other pōkemon, though Bulbasaur was trying to shove him off so it could sit there. Belladonna had settled for cuddling my legs, her leafy hands wrapped around them. Staryu was leaning against the couch, sitting next to her. "Pōkemon really like you, don't they?"
"You're telling me." Brock said, leaning back with a sigh, laughing. "We were chased by so many on our way to Mount Moon and when we were inside of it! They were all so jealous and wanted her as a trainer; they hardly gave me a second glance! Heck, it was a miracle I even managed to carry her here in time; they were all so furious when she was unconscious!"
"What?" I paused, frowning. That wasn't true at all. "They went after you, too…"
"Not a whole lot. I only managed to get my new Zubat when we were leaving; he kept trying to pick a fight with me!" He claimed, crossing his legs. Bulbasaur and Ansem were now sharing my lap, though both were so big it was hard to say they were actually on my lap. It was like they were overlapping each other. Belladonna huffed, but otherwise appeared content to sit by my feet. "I bet it's 'cause they can sense how nice you are beneath that aloof exterior! You try to hide it, but you're the sweetest little girl, Grunt!" He turned to Melanie, beaming at her. "Don't you think so, beautiful?"
Melanie giggled awkwardly, not sure how to respond to the praise. "Oh, well, Bulbasaur seems to have taken a liking to her; he's normally very distrusting of strangers, so… yes?"
Oh. This Bulbasaur is a he? Well, now that you mention it… hm. It does appear a bit bulkier than the last one, not to mention the rougher texture of the leaves. I wondered if there were any visible differences, though considering my lack of intel on this specific pōkemon I wouldn't even know what to look for.
"I'm actually surprised the pōkemon all like you so much. They're normally very shy with strangers. Ah! I just got an idea!" Melanie clapped her hands together, the loud noise startling me, and we all looked at her. "Why not take Bulbasaur with you when you're feeling better? You're clearly a trainer I can trust and, well, I think he'd like to be a part of your team. What do you think, Bulbasaur?"
"...Bulba!" He stood, nodding his head at her and looking up at me with expectant red eyes. Wait, seriously? I know I made jokes to myself about getting a pōkemon like him before after I fought that one trainer, but she was just going to let me have him? It was hard to accept. "Bulbasaur?"
"I-I can't- what?"
Melanie smiled. "The more the merrier, right? If you truly are aiming to do something about Team Rocket, you'll need all the help you can get. Bulbasaur pōkemon are well known as being one of the most powerful Kanto region pōkemon, especially once evolved, and you already have a Grass-type on your team! I think he'd make a perfect edition!"
Oh my gods. They're not giving me a choice in the matter, are they? Brock stood, placing his hands on his hips and grinning ear-to-ear. "That's a great idea, Melanie! You truly are incredible; a blessing, really! Too great for this world! Oh, Melanie, the goddess!" He placed his hands on his face, gushing and over praising her, the woman taking a timid step back as he flirted. "Will you marry me!?"
"Um, I-I appreciate the offer, but…"
"No?" The rejection hit Brock harder than either of us expected. Tears welled up in his eyes and he sunk down to the floor, sniffling. "I should have known… Hello darkness, rejection called. I need a ferry to single island."
Uh, what? I am so confused.
Bulbasaur leaped off the couch and waddled his way over to where my backpack was sitting, trying to open it with his face. Setting Ansem onto the ground I stumbled by the pōkemon, dizziness and nausea washing over and nearly making me fall over. I landed on a knee, a hand against my forehead, and both Melanie and Brock called out to me. "I-I'm… fine. Eugh…" I want to throw up so bad. Slowly making my way to the backpack, I sat down and pulled it into my lap. Bulbasaur stared at me intently. "You're not… giving me much of a choice are you? Fine…"
I wanted one anyway. He's lucky he's so cute.
Unzipping the bag and opening the box with all the extra pōkeballs, I pulled one out and enlarged it. Holding it out towards him, Bulbasaur tapped his forehead against it and allowed himself to be enveloped by a red light. After a few seconds he was completely swallowed up, the light in the middle of the ball flashing several colors until it finally clicked green.
Nice…
So dizzy…
Crying so much was not good for my health. Hitting the button and letting out a heavy sigh, I released Bulbasaur with a weak smile. "Name… you need a… name…"
Think, think, think. Weepinbell is Belladonna, so… Lilly? No, that's not good. Thyme? Lame. I feel like I'm gonna throw up. I need food. My skull won't stop pounding. Mint, Thyme, Lilly, Hawthorne, Sage… oh.
"Guuh… Basil?"
"Bulba!"
My eyebrows furrowed and I blinked, looking down at him. "You like Basil?" He nodded, smiling a little at me. Bulbasaur appeared very relaxed for a pōkemon that had supposedly been abandoned. "Okay, Basil it is. Basil is… good..."
Without warning the world around me went spiraling and I found myself falling over, collapsed across my backpack, Brock and Melanie shouting out to me as I passed out. I wasn't sure how long I ended up being out of it, only knowing that I was awoken several times and realizing that I didn't really remember any of what happened during those moments. When I woke up for the final time I was spread across the couch, a wet rag on my forehead and the smell of food wafting from the kitchen. Brock was walking through the livingroom with a bunch of groceries, thanking the woman for taking such good care of us, no longer seeming to flirt with her after having been rejected.
I mumbled incoherently and grimaced, pulling the cold rag off my face. Sitting up I noticed that Ansem was curled up on my belly, the pōkemon stirred awake by my movement, and his barking caught the male teen's attention. "Wha-?" His eyebrows shot up, surprised, before he relaxed. Brock looked relieved. "Feeling any better? Sorry for waking you up so much before, but we wanted to make sure your head injury wasn't affecting you too badly... Melanie is making breakfast right now!"
Urk. The very thought of food, nonetheless the idea of eating something tasteless, made me sick.
Brock set the groceries down and made his way over, helping me sit up, and he pulled over a nearby trashcan. "Here. You're looking a bit green. But… uh, your hair is- well, it's gonna get in the way." He reached into his pocket, pulling out what appeared to be the hairbands Yuna gave me. Is he the one who took my hair out of its braids? Then again, they were already coming apart by the time we wound up in Mount Moon. "Sit still, okay?"
I did not move or speak, keeping a hand against my mouth in case I vomited. I was shaking, fear of touch still strong in my heart. I did not like others being near my hair or my face or my shoulders. My neck was covered in bruises from when Richard had strangled me, several stitches lining the side of my forehead from when it had been slammed into the rocky cave ground. Brock really saved me back there.
He was so quiet about it, too. The kids and adults back in Hoenn always bragged or complained about what they did- whether it was an accomplishment or failure. This was so different. He wasn't talking as much as usual either, probably trying to give my brain time to rest and heal. Maybe he finally realized I wasn't good with socialization? Brock pulled my hair back in a simple pony tail, bangs and all, and I stared- using both eyes- with hatred at the trashcan before me. It smelled horrid.
Basil and Belladonna caught my attention, climbing and jumping onto the couch- joining Ansem and huddling together next to me. Two large pōkemon and a tiny one. Heh, what a group. Urk- okay, nope, stop thinking. Just breathe. My eyes slid shut and I tried to focus, meditating quietly. Brock left me alone soon enough, leaving me to sit hunched over in peace with all the pōkemon, the boy joining Melanie in the kitchen and handing her the groceries he picked up for her.
I think a few hours passed and that, maybe, just maybe, I had blacked out. One moment I was on the couch and the next Brock was shaking me awake, and then I was suddenly sitting in a chair at the kitchen table. "You okay, Grunt?"
I made no sound, giving only a tired nod.
He sighed, eyebrows furrowed in both worry and frustration. "Okay... Well, if you need help eating just let us know. Alright? I mean it- tell us if you're having trouble."
I'm fine. I've had worse. Even if I didn't feel very good, this was nothing compared to…
Ah. I almost blacked out again.
I blinked several times, face hardening as I tried to eat. Sometime during breakfast my hearing began to fade in-and-out and I fell asleep in the chair. The world only returned to me when we were in the middle of what appeared to be a town, Brock carrying me on his back, my pōkemon following behind us. I was vaguely aware of what was going on around us, but I was so dazed and confused I couldn't really concentrate. I suppose several hours passed, maybe even a day, because the next time I blinked and opened my eyes I was resting on a hospital bed, several strangers in white surrounding me.
Doctors. I wasn't even able to panic or contemplate, the medicine they've given me coursing through my veins and leaving me even more sluggish. Their words went in one ear and out the other, and then… there was a darkness.
And in that darkness there was suddenly light, bright and blinding.
I could see Brock carrying Ansem, staring down at me in concern.
It was impossible trying to keep track how many times I faded in-and-out of unconsciousness. But then I was awake, able to hold coherent thought. A day passed before a doctor came in to explain what was wrong with my brain, informing me of my severe concussion and throat damage. To my discomfort he even went so far to bring up my burns and crooked wrist, alongside the slight malnutrition and low serotonin levels that led to my stunted physical growth. I wasn't exactly starved, but the people in the Team Rocket Hoenn base didn't really feed me as much as they should have. Since coming here I was eating a lot more than I used to, though I guess it wasn't enough.
The doctor offered an osteotomy, which I refused, to both his and Brock's surprise. Afterwards, he explained that they had already performed an endoscopic evacuation; in other words, a craniotomy where they had made a hole in a part of my skull and used some kind of special tool to suction the hematoma. It had been several days since it had happened and I had only just woken up now.
And in all honesty, I had no idea what half of those scientific doctor words meant. I guess my brain was bleeding? The doctor looked mildly horrified by my condition. "I've seen some strange cases, but for someone as young as you to be so badly hurt…"
"She got into a fight with a wild Charmander." Brock piped in, lying through his teeth. I blinked in surprise and stared at him oddly. The doctor's expression cleared up and he nodded in understanding. "She's been adventuring for a few years on her own, so when we met I started traveling with her to make sure she's taking care of herself."
"I see. Yes, Charmanders can be quite rowdy… Well, as long as someone is taking care to watch her then all will be well." He then instructed that I avoid doing anything too strenuous. If I fall asleep Brock should wake me periodically- which he had already been doing- though the doctor really wanted me to just stay home for a few weeks to rest up. Like that would happen. I don't even know what a home is supposed to be like; I never had one.
I know it's supposed to be full of warm people who care for you, but…
That was never something I was exposed to. I don't have parents either. I can only assume I was abandoned- or maybe there was an accident and a wild pōkemon did save me that day, bringing me to Rustboro in an attempt to rescue me. Who knew? It didn't matter anymore. I bet I was already forgotten if they were even alive. Refusing to stay still, I asked- having retained most of my basic functions since they only muddled with my brain a little bit- when I could go ahead and leave the hospital.
His answers was pretty much the same. Five days up to two weeks.
I was furious.
I tried to speak up, to say that I couldn't stay for that long, but the words wouldn't leave me. A doctor was an authority figure, after all, not to mention an adult, and I really didn't want to make one angry. Last time a grown-up got angry at me, well, he was the whole reason I was in the hospital now. Rich didn't hold back- or maybe he did and that was why I was still alive. He let go of me at the last second.
Gods, I still hated how weird my voice sounded. At least my throat felt less like there was glass in it. The doctor prescribed me some antibiotics and pain relievers, all of which were… weird to me. I never had the luxury of taking any of them before; I always sat through the days full throttle, dealing with the pain as best as I could growing up. When Brock saw my befuddled expression and asked about it, his reaction when I told him was almost terrifying. He looked like he was going to rage.
I sort of regretted telling him.
"Rich, Velga… no, Team Rocket as a whole…" He frowned deeply, hands curling into fists as he hunched over, glaring into nothing. "They won't get away with this. What they did to you- what they're doing to others- it's not right. It's evil."
He had been protesting me going after them earlier, but now he looked like he was going to chase after them head-on himself. Huh. As the days passed Brock and/or the nurses would end up helping me around the room, making sure my motor functions were still good, and I often had my vitals checked throughout the day. Later I was given a new type of medicine- one to help raise the serotonin levels in my brain. I didn't like what the doctor was suggesting at all, but Brock told me to do what the adult said. Eventually I was given the go ahead to leave, in which I almost ran right out the door to the front desk. Ansem in my arms, hair braided once more- courtesy of Brock, who had many skills as an older brother- with Belladonna and Basil right behind me, I was only forced to slow down by the passing nurses.
At first I was annoyed, frustrated from being cooped up for so long when there was so much more I could be doing, knowing that Team Rocket was getting away with crime even now, but then… I understood. That realization left me lost and confused, and I walked through the hospital with conflicted emotions. These adults- they were dressed very similarly to the adults that worked in the infirmary for Team Rocket- yet they were completely different. These ones actually cared. They were kind.
They… saved my life. The people in this outside world… are so nice to me. I can't… handle it. I don't know how to react to it.
I held Ansem up and nuzzled his furry mane, the pōkemon mewing in joy as he licked my cheek. His nose was cold as it pressed against my skin, but I didn't mind. I flinched a little when I felt Ansem curl around my shoulder, weight against my bruised and bandaged neck. There was something about it that was different, the warmth radiating from his small furry body almost seeming to sink into my heart. When Brock wrapped an arm around my shoulder, helping me walk, I didn't recoil. Belladonna and Basil hopped and dashed around us, joy in their eyes and happiness able to be heard in their voices.
Why…?
I still didn't get it. It was explained to me already, but I just… couldn't comprehend it. All my life I knew I was being mistreated, that what was happening was wrong, and still somehow along the way I found myself believing the lies said to me. I rebelled silently for so long against my captors, denying any that they claimed to know about me, but once I was out I realized I had no understanding about myself. I wondered about my purpose and reason for living, and that was it. Even after I was freed I never once truly gave thought to myself.
Did I?
All I ever cared about were the other children and pōkemon, and destroying Team Rocket. I spent my entire life plotting towards that goal. And yet… how, even now knowing this, am I supposed to care for myself? Each second wasted on me was more torment and despair for the others. Brock and Melanie, Oak and Yuna and Blue, and even the doctors and nurses here… they worried for me. Just what am I supposed to do? What am I expected to do? Focus on myself and leave those back in the Hoenn base to suffer longer?
I… I don't…
My thoughts were brought to a halt as we arrived at the front desk. I ended up having to fork over almost all the money I had gathered up during my short journey thus far in order to pay for all the bills. Cursed- I'm a child, why would I have insurance? How does one even get insurance? Frick. Whatever. Just take the freaking money; we're wasting time! No. Don't be rude. Urk. I hate this so much.
The moment we were outside the hospital I let out a huge sigh, exhausted from that whole ordeal. I never wanted to go through that again. It was bad enough I had to let other people tend to my injuried after being forced to handle it myself for so many years, but to lie around doing absolutely nothing when lives were at stake? Nope, no way, never. No thank you.
We wandered the town until midday, and as we passed the pōkecenter a memory came to mind.
I had a call to make.
I really didn't want to, as even more time would be wasted, but I didn't want to make anyone anymore upset than they already were. Blue had reprimanded me last time and honestly I'd rather just get this over with. Pointing at the building, Brock nodded and we headed inside. We approached Nurse Joy, who informed us where the telephones were, and the two of us walked over to the giant computer built in to the wall. I held onto his arm as I sat down, legs threatening to give out, body relaxing instantly once it was not standing. I slumped back, breathing heavily, sighing. "I hate this…"
Brock chuckled. "I don't imagine anyone would. You're really quite stubborn, Grunt."
I scowled and promptly decided to ignore what he said, pretending it didn't happen. I stared at the keyboard for a moment, brain struggling to process and keep up. "...I… I don't know their number…"
"Huh?"
Blinking, I stared up at him, dumbfounded. I can't believe I never thought of that; maybe I wasn't as smart as I thought I was. "I… I don't know Professor Oak's number."
If this was any other situation he might have laughed. He looked at me in complete surprise, having not expected this. "Wait, really?" I nodded slowly at his words and Brock moved over, leaning down towards the device and typing away. I blinked, watching him curiously and observing the buttons he pressed. "Okay, well, if you search for the lab's address or type in the name of the person you want to find, you should get a list of people popping up. See?" I leaned over and watched, the boy maneuvering around the screen and pressing several buttons. "Is the Professor Oak you wanna talk to the one from Pallet Town?"
Another nod.
"Then you'll wanna press this… aaaand ta-daaah!" I jumped when the machine began to make noise, the boy holding the attached telephone up to me. "Hold this to your ear."
"O-Okay?" This was so weird. It felt familiar, which made no sense, but was still weird. I held the phone up close to my ear, pulling away to stare at it when it made a ringing noise, before shakily raising it up to my ear- then mouth- then ear, before Brock took hold of it and positioned it against the side of my face. "Sorry…"
"It's fine." He looked amused. "Don't worry about it. Watch the screen- someone should show up when the line is answered. Hey-! There!"
I watched as the screen flashed from black to color, an older man hovering over a lab counter with a bowl of what appeared to be instant ramen. He was humming to himself, tearing apart a package of chopsticks. That person looked just like…
"P-Professor Oak?"
"Hm? Uwah! H-Hello there!" The elder jumped, startled when he saw the screen on his lab was on. He was not expecting any phonecalls, clearly. "E-Ele-oh, wait, um, ahem! Forgive me for my, uh, lack of decorum. I was just about to eat my lunch for the day. Wait a minute-" Realization dawned on his face, shifting into something a little more stern. "It's about time you finally called! We were worried! Did Blue give you my message?"
"Y-Yeah, he did…" I was about to go silent, only to quickly decide that honesty was the best policy and to do so more information was required. "...back in Pewter City."
"Pewter City? Is he not with you now?" Oak shifted, trying to see around me. "Where are you right now? This call is from… oh my! Cerulean City? I suppose that's to be expected, but still… hm. Hold on- is that boy…?" Brock leaned into frame, waving at the professor with a polite grin. "It is! The gym leader of Pewter City! Is he travelling with you now?"
"I sure am!" Brock said before I could speak up, getting in range of the phone so his voice could be heard. I scowled and leaned away, not keen on the close proximity, and held the phone between us. "After Grunt came to my gym and defeated me, my good-for-nothing father finally returned home! He's agreed to look after the gym and my siblings while I travel with her."
Oversharing, much? Jeez. My expression began to mold back into its normal blank mask, but before it could finish forming my attention was caught by my pōkemon. Ansem was sitting on my shoulder as my head was still a little messed up, but Belladonna and Basil were on the floor. They were looking up at the screen with big curious eyes, and Basil began to paw at my leg.
"We've been through quite a bit since then." Brock continued, watching with a small grin as I hoisted the large Basil and the tiny Belladonna onto my lap. I held them awkwardly, finding myself feeling only a teensy bit grateful for the pressure garment over my burn as it made the pain less intense. "I've learned a lot about her during that short time."
Professor Oak chuckled, looking quite pleased by this information. "I'm glad to hear it. She's a little bit stubborn, isn't she? And- that's a Bulbasaur and a Weepinbell! You've been busy."
"Hm?" I blinked, realizing he hasn't seen them yet. "Oh, yeah. Sorry. Basil is the newest. I got him… a while ago. I've had Belladonna since… uh… before Viridian maybe? She evolved when we were fighting Brock's Onix in the gym."
"I see. That's wonderful news. I'm happy to hear that you're making friends."
That statement had me pause, uncertainty washing over me. It was that word again. I still wasn't sure if… we were that. I tried my best to keep everyone at a distance, but it never seemed to work. It was as if the world was working against me. Instead of refuting or denying his claim, I remained silent and pet my pōkemon, gazing into nothingness. Would it be alright if I had someone to call friend? Brock, Yuna, Professor Oak, Blue… wait. He asked about him, didn't he?
"Why'd you ask if Blue was with me?" I questioned, brain struggling to function as I tried to change the subject. Something unsettling began to form in my stomach. "Is he okay?"
"Oh, well, Blue actually hasn't returned yet." Professor Oak answered, frowning deeply. "He said he was going to scout ahead; make sure the areas weren't too dangerous for you. He should be in Cerulean City with you by now."
"...What?"
"Yes! He apparently heard rumors of a… talking pōkemon… and wanted to check it out for himself? I think he wanted to give you advice on it. He's really turning into such a nice boy! I think you're a good influence on him, haha!" The older man laughed. "To think, my moody teen grandson actually being nice!"
A talking pōkemon… that sounded like Mewtwo. Blue could be in danger.
"Hm? Is something the matter?"
I stood, setting my pōkemon on the floor and handing the phone to Brock. "We need to go find him."
"What, why?" Brock blinked, startled. "What's wrong?"
"Blue is…" No. No, I'm not going to think about it. My heart picked up pace, fear gradually taking hold as I recalled how angry those violet eyes once were. "I-I told you how I got my burn, right? There was an explosion? Well, it… it was an explosion caused by a talking pōkemon." No, that's not right. Tell the truth. "Okay, so, he wasn't really talking more as he was thinking very loudly since he's a physic, but same thing, right? It still counts! If it's him then Blue might in danger!"
"You don't mean…" Understanding dawned on Oak. "You must hurry! Blue is a force himself, but… please! Help my grandson."
I nodded, setting the phone down and watching the screen go black. I hurriedly set my pōkemon on the ground and made to stand, wobbling a little from the fast movement. I would have fallen over had Brock not caught me. "Easy!"
"We can't… waste time." I bit out, glaring at the floor. "We have to… hurry."
"He'll be fine; I'm certain of it. You heard what the professor said; Blue is tough! I mean, I don't know the guy myself, but… I believe in him. You should to."
That meant nothing. Belief and hope can only get a person so far; you have to do the rest yourself. I spent years believing I would leave Team Rocket and reunite with that boy I met, but in the end everything went wrong. He was somewhere out in this world where I would probably never find him, completely ignorant of my existence by now, and I was stuck here in Kanto with little chance of survival. If I want my desires to come true I have to act upon them- to take matters into my own hands. That included saving Blue.
Mewtwo hated humanity; that much I was certain. He made… an exception for me, based on the circumstances, but the same can't be said for Oak's grandson. That pōkemon blew up headquarters, killing dozens of people, nearly taking Rich and Velga's life. My life. I don't know how they survived or if there were others, but even I sustained bad injuries from that explosion- and he chose to spare me. I can't…
I want to help that pōkemon, but I can't just let him hurt Blue either.
My purpose… if it's to bring down Team Rocket I'll accept that, but I won't just let someone- pōkemon or human- hurt another anymore. I refuse. I yanked my arm away from Brock and stood up straight, fighting the pain and marching forward. The boy protested against my behavior, telling me not to push myself too much, but I ignored him. Blue had been kind to me, too. It was because of him I have Ansem beside me. He helped convince that police officer to let me travel as a trainer.
He… He came all the way to Pewter City to check up on me and… travelled here to Cerulean City to try and help me out. He was a bit rude, but he was still nice. Blue said he was worried about me- that he felt like he had to watch out for me. I didn't understand it. Even if he claimed we were friends now. It made no sense; he barely even knew me. And yet…
I couldn't keep lying to myself. No matter how much I tried to deny or rationalize it, I cared about him, too. Him and everyone else I've met so far in this outside world. Whether or not we're what could truly be considered friends I don't really know, but that's fine. I don't need friends. I wouldn't even really know how to act if I had any, so this was alright. Having people looking out for me… was the nicest thing I could have in this life. Being treated like a human being… like a person…
It was all I ever really longed for.
And if I have that… should I really go out of my way to search for someone who probably doesn't even remember me? I don't want to forget him, yet it's been so long. We only met that once. Because of my situation I clung onto that memory- he did not have to. He lived a better life than me. Had a father that loved him. He was probably an adult now anyway. I should just focus on the present. If I was never meant to be a part of his life; fine. At least he had been a part of mine. I was going to cling onto that memory of the promise forever, the stone a precious memento of the one who had inadvertently rescued me from despair.
But Blue was in danger.
That was priority. No one was going to stop me.
Not even Brock. Ally or not, whatever friends meant… whether we were that or not…
I had a mission. I was not going to let him suffer as well.
Unfortunately, my march was interrupted shortly after we left the pōkecenter and passed into the townsquare. "Hold it right there, you two! You haven't seen anyone suspicious lurking around, have you?
My fingers tapped against my arms irritably, Ansem mewing at me from atop my shoulder. A familiar officer approached, and upon seeing it took everything I had to hide my scowl. Why was the world so intent to get in my way? People are in danger. "Uh, no?"
"Hmm…" Officer Jenny stepped closer, bringing a hand up to her chin and scrutinizing us. "Well, you look pretty suspicious to me… a robbery just happened in this town! Those stitches on your forehead, those bandages wrapped around your neck and legs- they could be evidence of the crime you committed! What's your name!? Why aren't your pōkemon in pōkeballs?" She moved right in front of me, snatching my bad wrist and holding it tight in her hand as she glared down at me. I flinched as I was forced to stumble, the woman pulling out a pair of handcuffs. "Did you steal them!? Where are their owners?"
"W-Wait, Officer, you've got it all wrong-!" Brock tried to begin, attempting to defend me, but he was unable to finish. Ansem narrowed his eyes, bared his fangs, and leapt off my shoulder- headbutting the woman and sending her falling back. "Oh no-! Are you guys okay!?"
Basil and Belladonna surrounded Officer Jenny, staring her down with angry expressions. The woman blinked in alarm, realizing very quickly her mistake, and laughed nervously as she held her hands up. "M-My bad, my bad! Clearly they belong to you! Sorry! I-It's just been a bit hectic with Team Rocket scampering about; with rumors of them raising little kids to do their work for them, I can't rule you out that easily! But obviously I was wrong, so-!"
I cradled my crooked hand to my chest, staring her down uncertainly, unsure of how to react to this. She was… going to arrest me, wasn't she? Why? Because I had an injury? Did she not recognize me at all from Pallet Town? I don't understand. "D… Did you forget me?"
"Hm?" She yelped when Ansem got a little to close, the pōkemon acting like he was going to bite her. "O-Oh, um, sorry? I… don't recognize you?" Officer Jenny stared up at me, scrutinizing me, before shaking her head. "Nope! Sorry. You must be thinking about one of my relatives. We all look exactly the same, haha!"
"Not true!" Brock suddenly exclaimed, stepping forward and placing a hand on my shoulder. I tensed at the touch, but didn't push him away. "You may look similar… but you are all still quite different! For example; your hair! You bangs are exactly two centimeters longer than the Officer Jenny's in Pewter City and your eyelashes are more blue than black compared to the rest of your siblings and cousins! Such a beauty… I can't…"
He brought a hand up to his chest, pulling at his shirt as a lovestruck look came across his face.
"Oh, Officer Jenny, please!" My pōkemon scooted away when Brock came dashing over to the woman, watching with strange looks on their faces as he knelt down on one knee and clasped her hands in his. "Will you go on a date with me!? I'll treat you wonderfully; five-star restaurant, candlelight dinner, roses! Anything you want, including my love and devotion, will be yours!"
"Uh, well, um, that's sweet of you." She laughed awkwardly. "Buuuut, uh… I'm already married. See?"
Officer Jenny held up her left hand, pulling off her glove and revealing a wedding band beneath. Brock hung his head, distraught, and I could almost imagine the storm cloud that would surely be pouring down rain from above him. Oh. That's weird. It had been a while since I had a thought like that. It almost elicited a funny feeling- like my voice was trying to bubble up out of my throat, lips twitching upwards slowly. Normally all I ever imagined were worst-case scenarios; terrible things that would happen if my plans failed. If I wasn't strong enough.
I turned away, staring at my pōkemon. Feeling my gaze they looked up at me, curious. I knelt down and held my arms out to them, and just as I suspected would happen they all came bustling over, practically leaping at me. It was so cute. "Veevaa!"
"Saur! Bulbasaur!"
"Weepin!"
Spending time with them, with the nice people who've been taking care of me, was… changing me. I could be more vocal now, if only a little, and even my thoughts were more free. They were relaxing, bit by bit, and I could smile. I could show emotion. I still want to hide sometimes, so badly I want to run and lock my expressions away, but that was out of fear. Fear of losing, fear of being abused. Of being abandoned. I don't want to let myself get close to anyone.
And yet… I think it would be okay if I did. To be friends. To call Brock and Blue my friends, even if I wasn't quite sure what that meant anymore.
"It's okay." I said softly, petting them on their heads. "It's okay."
Officer Jenny, finally standing, let out a heavy sigh as she dusted the dirt off of her skirt. "Still, what a pain… just when we finally get a lead on Team Rocket they have to go up and disappear! All I can really do is guard the poor couple's house that got robbed until the rest of the team figure out some clues. Make sure to let me know if you guys find or hear anything, okay? And stay away from the danger!"
I stared up at her, intending to do the exact opposite of what she said. "Sure."
I'm not going going to avoid Team Rocket; I lived with them my whole life, I can handle the danger. I'll inform her after I defeat them that they're here in the the city, though.
If they are here. I stood, lifting Basil into my arms, the pōkemon looking quite happy at being carried. "Brock… let's go." He turned to me, still greatly upset, but no longer flirting with the police officer. He sniffled, wiping some of the tears away, and nodded.
"Right. Farewell, love of my life…"
Officer Jenny chuckled awkwardly. "See ya. Be safe you two!"
We went our separate ways. Not knowing how to comfort the boy who had his heart broken twice in the same week, I held Basil up to his face in an attempt to distract him with the pōkemon's cuteness. Brock accepted the pōkemon and carried him, sniffling and hugging him close, and we continued forward through the town. It was surprisingly quiet, though I guess that could only be expected if robberies were occurring. Fear makes people withdraw into themselves.
I know that well. I did have to question what made Brock fall for women so easily though; he had proclaimed Melanie as his one true love, yet then did the exact same thing with that Officer Jenny? It was confusing. He confused me. I thought I was finally figuring him out, but that was clearly not the case.
"Hm?" Around nearly fifteen minutes later, the boy snapped me out of my contemplative thoughts. "There it is!" He was pouting at a silver-and-gold bridge, carrying Basil with one arm. "The Nugget Bridge!"
"...The what?"
"Hm? Oh, sorry. I forgot- you wouldn't know." I blinked, listening to the explanation. "It's called the Nugget Bridge because of its golden shine; also, rumor has it that if you manage to defeat all the trainers that guard it you'll be able to win some kind of prize! Unfortunately, even if we don't want to battle… they won't let us through. Even though it's against the law for trainers to force other trainers to battle, it's part of the rule here in Cerulean City. We have to battle to get to the other side of the bridge."
You mean… all this time… I didn't have to battle!? That freaking bug catcher tripped me while I was running and forced me into a two-on-two battle with him! Same with those trainers that hid and launched themselves at me because I was carrying pōkemon! What the frick!? Precious time had been wasted on them!
Hrrgh…
At least my pōkemon got extra experience, but still. That irritates me. "This is a pain. Ansem, let's go." He barked excitedly as we approached the gate, all eyes turning to me as I stepped onto the bridge. Brock followed behind, glancing nervously down at me and then back up at the trainers. "We gotta do this."
"Actually," Brock began, holding Basil back out to me, the pōkemon blinking his big reddish brown eyes at me curiously, "why don't I handle this? You're still hurt after all."
"I'm fine." I had worse. This is nothing compared to what the base put me through. "Besides, it's been like a week! I'm tired of doing nothing. Ansem, Belladonna, and Basil are more than capable of winning this thing quickly."
They were extremely powerful. Basil had apparently gained a few more levels while I was recovering, having been training with Ansem, Belladonna, and even Brock's pōkemon. When he wasn't fighting, he was relaxing and napping. Brock had taken it upon himself to train him for me, so he knew very well what my pōkemon's capabilities were.
"I'm not saying they're not, I just…"
I continued to walk ahead, standing several feet away from the first person. He looked no bigger than fourteen, with a straw hat and a green tanktop adorning his form. "You here to challenge us?" He asked, grinning. "Ha. Good luck! Name's Cale- and my bug pōkemon are the best!"
I disliked him already. These bug catchers are really annoying; I was starting to think they were communicating somehow and were determined to wear me down. It felt like the only trainers I really fought were bug catchers, save for the special-type ones that hide in the gyms.
"Behold my brilliant Venonat!" A giant purple puff ball with big red insectoid eyes appeared as he threw a ball, little antennas sticking out of the top of its head. I found its mandible very reminiscent of spiders and I hid a cringe, very much not comfortable around it. "Are you ready!?"
"As you are." I responded calmly, expression hardening. "Ansem, take 'em down."
"Veeva!" There was no hesitation. The poor Venonat didn't even have time to dodge, nonetheless hear its trainer spout out an order. Ansem was far too fast. His teeth dug into the Venonat's fur, digging deep into flesh, and the pōkemon fainted from the pain. Ansem released it as soon as its body went limp, the Eevee back up and sitting on his hindlegs, head held high. "Va!"
That was… underwhelming, though unsurprising. The rest of the trainers were pretty much the same; they were hardly any trouble at all. Basil went up a couple more levels, especially when he had to go against a Psyduck and Sandshrew. Meowth tried to be troublesome, but it fell short when up against Belladonna. Growlithe was purely Ansem, being the only one who would be able to stand up to such a fire-type. A single headbutt left the opponent stunned, the Growlithe flinching and becoming unable to move. This allowed Ansem to latch his fangs onto its throat, effectively immobilizing and incapacitating it. The trainers were all distraught at their losses, calming down only after I handed them several berries to feed their pōkemon to revitalize them.
"Heeey, kids! Over here!" A voice shouted at us, catching our attention. "You actually beat them all? Incredible! Here's your prize!"
"Wow, a golden nugget!?" Brock exclaimed, stunned as he took the item from the mysterious trainer. I stared at the item blankly, recognizing it for its worth as it was something Team Rocket often coveted. "These are hard to come by!"
The mysterious trainer grinned, flashing a smile. His green eyes glimmered mischievously as he held up a finger. "Hence why it's called a "fabulous" prize! But I must say, little girl, I am quite impressed! Just how strong are your pōkemon? What techniques did you use to get them to obey you? No- how did you get them to act without even telling them what to do!?"
He stepped forward, leaning down with his hands on his hips, grin reaching ear-to-ear. Something about his face was eerily familiar as he stared down at me, making me feel even more uncomfortable than what I already was. There was something wrong here, but that could just be my paranoia talking. What should I do? Do I answer his questions? I'd rather not.
I said nothing as Brock handed me the golden nugget, momentarily distracting me, though it did little to stop the adult from getting closer. His face was right up in mine and I froze, almost holding my breath habitually as my arms pressed against my sides in an effort to build up the invisible wall once more. Then, as Ansem barked, I snapped to my senses and remembered that I was now free; I no longer had to obey or stand at attention. I forced my body to lean back, a mildly disturbed look flickering onto my face as my emotions leaked out.
I can be… me. Whatever that meant. I don't have to hide anymore. "N-No techniques… just…"
What? I have no idea.
"They're…" I glanced down at the pokemon, fingers curling around the golden nugget slowly before I shoved it into my unused pocket. They were ever so precious to me, just as much as that dawn stone was. No matter what had happened they still stood beside me; even Basil, whom I just met recently, decided to travel with the group. Everyone I've met outside in this world was so kind. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I forced myself to meet the mysterious trainer's unwelcoming gaze and bit down on my lip. "They're… just that strong."
If there were consequences for saying this…
For being so arrogant and selfish…
I would bear it. Just this once. I can't believe I'm even trying to suggest such a thing, nonetheless believe in it, when I'm not even sure how it works anymore. Yet, after all we've been through together, I think we're something close to it. The idea that…
"They're all my friends. Even him." Brock looked stunned at my declaration, seeing the way I awkwardly pointed a finger at him, before a warm smile spread across his face and his features softened. My panicking heart relaxed just a little, almost sinking into my stomach from relief. "They do what they want. If-If they listen to me sometimes, then that's… that's on them."
"I see." The man brought a hand up to his chin, humming. He was really familiar. Something about his hair was bugging me, too- underneath the black locks I could make out hints of violet strands. Was I imagining it? Hair dye, perhaps? Wait… what's hair dye? I'm so confused. That doesn't exist. Does it?
I almost cringed, head beginning to throb. Something in the back of my mind was trying to climb its way to the surface, scratching and clawing away at the abyss it was trapped in. The cut along my forehead began to burn, a wave of dizziness washing over me and nearly causing me to stumble. A hand rested on my shoulder, startling me yet keeping me upright, my jaw clenched tight as I fought to keep an expression of neutrality on. "I said not to push yourself." Brock told me, frowning deeply. "Let me take care of this, okay?"
No. No, it's… fine. I'm fine. I had worse. I can do this.
So why, despite it all, was my voice no longer working? It still sounded weird, even after all the treatment the doctors gave me, but now I couldn't even speak. It was hard to make even a sound, legs growing weak as the world around me blurred and spun. Brock, ever the caretaker and older brother, caught me before I could tumble over, the mysterious trainer speaking up in shock. That was when his attire disappeared and transformed into something darker, black-and-white with a large R plastered on the front in red coloring. Pushing myself away from Brock and staggering, I wheezed and stood up, hand against my stitched forehead, fingers tangled into my thick bangs. "What the-!?" Brock started to shout.
The man beamed. "Okay, so, this wasn't how I wanted it to go, but since your little friend clearly isn't feeling well… I might just take your pōkemon and go ahead. Actually, hey- girl! How are you doing?" Vision still a bit hazy, I focused on the most prominent double and glared as darkly as I could, hatred rising to the surface. "Oooh, I like that! Very acidic. You're absolutely perfect for it! So, tell me; how would you like to join a super impressive organization?"
...What?
"I mean, you're a bit young and all, but we're training plenty of kids already, and I just know you'd be amazing! I'm sure of it! We could really use someone like you!"
Brock scowled, reaching out to his belt and grabbing one of his pōkeballs. "Let me guess; that organization is Team Rocket?"
"Yup! Could you tell by the uniform?" He snickered, resting a hand against the large letter plastered onto his chest. "So, come on, tell me your answer! Wanna join Team Rocket?"
Wait, that hair… bright violet and sticking up in every direction; I did recognize him! That day when I ate in the cafeteria at the headquarters… he was there. Sitting at one of the tables. He survived. Shaking visibly, breath stuttered bursts, I straightened my posture, eyes narrowing. He had no idea who I was; if he did, he would be attacking right now- either to kill me or to bring me back to the boss. Trying to remain calm despite the panic that was welling up inside me, I spat out a single word.
"No."
"Are you sure? Come on, why not!?" I said nothing else, glaring him down, momentarily imagining him imprisoned for his crimes against nature and humanity. He took a step back, startled, before frustration began to form on his features and he snapped, raising his voice. "Just join, damn it! I'm telling you to join!"
"Didn't you hear her!?" Brock spoke up, stepping over and holding an arm out in front of me. Again. He was always doing that- why was he always doing that? Was he trying to protect me? "She said no!"
"Back off, brat! I'm talking to her, not you!" He faced me again. "Just listen, kiddo; this is a chance of a lifetime! You really gonna pass that up? Riches and power beyond your wildest dreams! Doesn't that sound amazing?"
My expression merely darkened.
"O-Okay, so you need some convincing… that's fine! I'll give you an offer you can't refuse!"
Sooo, this chapter was really hard to write; dunno why, but it was. XD There were several different paths it kept trying to go, but none of them were quite working and it was like-? Grunt, Brock, Mysterious Trainer that's actually a Team Rocket NPC in disguise, c'mon! Also Blue. There was a version where he showed up way earlier and it just wasn't working, so I tried another version where he showed up later after the TR NPC revealed himself and it started to work before it was like- mm, no, but fret not! Blue WILL be showing up, hopefully next chapter. I have mostly figured out how I want to have him happen and it will be dramatic! As always. Whether or not Blue is actually safe or not now considering the changes I made whilst writing this I'll leave for you to ponder, mwahahahaha! I'm so evil.
Also- to those who want Grunt to hurry and get a new name...
:3 Patience, my lovelies. Also if any of you figured out any hints I dropped, mostly surrounding a certain pokemon movie about a certain someone that actually ISN'T Mewtwo or any of their counterparts, I'm proud of you! I originally had more hints, but was like, nah too obvious. I'm very indecisive. XD I have like, plot points figured out but everything between that is being made-up as I go along, haha. Usually works out though. I think. I'm very 50/50 with this chapter, but hopefully you guys enjoyed it!
Read and review! 3
