Chapter 4

Our Reggie was a porn fiend. That was a clue or it wasn't. That was the thing about the early parts of a case, the information we got might or might not have anything to do with it. If everyone who had a hidden porn stash was to suddenly disappear, we would lose our entire male teen-age population. Then how would those who prey on young, desperate women make their money? But I digress. When we didn't know whether new information was relevant or not, Velma referred to it as a data point. And that's what we had as we walked down the crowded sidewalk hoping it wouldn't rain.

I let the first three Karens that called out that I should be on a leash pass. It was not the fourth one's day. I stopped in the sidewalk.

Velma stopped next to me, "You have to do this, don't you?"

"Res, I roo."

"And I have to video it, don't I?"

"Res, roo do."

"Heaven help this poor nosey annoying woman." She pulled out her phone and followed me as I turned.

I trotted out ahead of her and, as he passed, he turned around in righteous indignation looking for Velma to give her a piece of her mind. Which is when the woman bumped into me as I had stationed myself directly in her path.

The woman turned on Velma as Velma pointed her phone. Velma shrugged, "Don't look at me. I'm just the camera person."

Having a phone pointed at her took her off balance which was the perfect time for me to speak up, "Radam, are roo in the rabit of demanding that American citizens be put on leashes?"

This was going to be a good one. Her mouth began working without sound and the people on the sidewalk that had heard me speak stopped for the show. A few people stopping caused more people to stop and Velma was recording it all.

If she would just say something stupid at this point, it would be perfect, "But you're a dog." Thank you.

"Radam, Rye am a US ritizen and a rember of a rederally rotected rinority class. What other rinority rembers of our rociety do roo want to enchain?"

Please double down. Please double down. Please double down. She looked down at me, "This is bullshit. I don't know what kind of game you people are playing at but I don't have time for it." The people in the crowd who had recognized me gasped in unison. The Karen was not even talking to me, she was talking to Velma who was shaking her head behind the phone.

Velma again tried to save the woman from herself, "Lady, talk to him. Not to me."

Then came the piece de resistance. The woman yelled, "Bullshit!" and lashed out with her right hand toward Velma's face. The intent was probably to grab the phone but there were now several phones pointing our way and all of them recorded what looked like she was taking a swing at Velma. Velma is, of course, petite and weighs less than 100 pounds. But she keeps herself in peak physical condition and part of her conditioning regimen is rigorous martial arts training. This isn't always enough of an equalizer if she faces off with a man twice her size but it was more than enough against a woman of her own age who had six inches and thirty pounds on her. Don't get me wrong. Velma was well-trained, and if she could have simply side-stepped or dodged the blow, she would have. But it came fast and without warning. Muscle memory kicked in and the woman was on her knees on the sidewalk with Velma holding her hand in a pincer-grip within two seconds.

Velma let go and stepped back, "I apologize for that, but you attacked me without provocation and I defended myself." The woman was staring daggers at Velma but her peripheral vision had to register all of the nods in the crowd.

I moved around beside Velma and was at eye level with the woman, "And rext rime, reep rour nosy Karen crap to rourself." The small crowd now applauded even though most of them had not seen what the confrontation was about. I can deliver a line and to them it just seemed the time to applaud.

We had been through this before. Velma held her hand out to the woman. She refused it and struggled back up to her feet. Velma gave the usual spiel, "Ma'am, this was an unfortunate interaction but I have no intention of pressing charges against you for assault. In the event that you choose to attempt to charge me with battery, then I will be forced to change that position and I believe that the video evidence in the case will clearly show the facts. My name is Velma Dinkley and this is Scooby Doo. Hopefully, we will not meet again.

She turned and started walking down the walk. I followed. It was like a ballet. When I caught up with her, I asked, "Are roo roing to uproad the rideo?"

"Of course not. The woman is a jerk but destroying her life is a bit harsh."

"Romebody rill."

"I can only control what I can control."

We had one more Karen comment before we made it to Marcie and Reggie's office. I ignored it. I had made my point for the day.

The lobby of the office building was a ritzy as the West Midtown address said it should be. Marble floors, marble walls, large windows streaming in as much natural sunlight as the surrounding buildings allowed to ground level. We stepped up to the security desk. I raised up on my back paws and put my forepaws on the counter. The security guard was ready for me, "Good morning, Mr. Doo."

"How did roo know rit was me?" I kill myself.

I didn't kill him. He barely smiled. Tough room. "Here are your and Ms. Dinkley's badges. If you place them up against the card reader panel, they allow you access through the gates to your left, onto the elevators, and to floor 18 where you sill find Healthway R&D, Inc. If you try to use the cards to access anything else in the building, an alarm will sound. We are able to track the location of the badges. Do you understand all of that?"

Pretty neat set-up, "Rye do."

The guard looked at Velma, "Ms. Dinkley?"

She nodded, "I do."

"Okay, here you go." He handed over the badges which worked as promised to get us up to the front desk of Healthway R&D.

This put us in front of a physically attractive young female receptionist to whom we petitioned to call Marcie.

"I'm sorry but Marcie is in a meeting right now, but she told me to direct you to Reggie's office. She said to 'knock yourselves out'." Another turn of phrase that did not match the Marcie I remembered. Her directions were easy to follow, "Go to the huge office in the corner with Reggie's name on it." She pointed toward the corner in question.

Reggie's office was huge. It had glass floor-to-ceiling windows which looked out on the surrounding buildings. The interior walls were all glass. On the glass wall next to the door was a placard emblazoned with a single word, Reggie. Make of that what you will. While Velma launched herself into the search of that office itself, I took a walk through the rest of the Healthway R&D offices. The offices coverd one quarter of the overall building footprint. The elevator lobby was in the center of the building and the reception area through which we had passed was accessed by a double door. A windowless conference room opened off the reception area. With the exception of the rooms along the two exterior walls - which were walled offices, conference rooms, and a break room - the rest of the floor space was covered in cubicles. After the conference room, I passed the mail and copier room which was also windowless and then the break room which had windows in one wall. Then there were two small offices – one empty and one whose placard read 'Elaine'. Then another small conference room which had a door directly into Reggie's office. Then Reggie's office. Then Marcie's much smaller office which was full of people standing in front of Marcie's desk at the moment. Marcie looked up at me, waved, and then returned her attention to something that was being shown on a screen on her wall. Then there were four more small offices along the wall. One empty and the other three with the names, 'Estelle', 'Rhonda', and 'Valerie'. In the interior, the cubicles were laid out in two groups of eight with most of them have five-foot high walls. Of the total of 16 cubicles, five did not have walls at all and I assumed these were the administrative staff. All of them were attractive women in the twenties.

I looked into the meeting in Marcie's office and noticed there were five people in there. Including Marcie. Four of the five were attractive women although probably in their thirties. So far, I had seen eleven people who worked here and ten of them were attractive women aged between 22 and 37. I was rapidly formulating a personality profile for dear missing Reggie. It would not be hard to check.

The nearest admin desk to Reggie's office was manned by one of the attractive, mid-twenties contingent. A small placard which was probably attached by Velcro to the cloth wall of the cubicle behind her read 'Sharon.' Time to turn on the Scooby charm. I stayed on all fours. I was more charming on all fours. "Excruse ree, Raron?"

She looked up and smiled. She probably was a up-and-coming model who did administrative work to pay the bills. "Yes. How can I help you?"

"Ray rye speak rith roo a roment, rivately?"

She could do perky, "Certainly! I was told to help you any way I could. Reggie's conference room is open. How about in there?"

It was right behind me. "Rhat rould be dandy." Two could play at this perky game.

She stood and led me into the room. She was one of those women who could move gracefully in three-inch heels. The room lights came on automatically, "Can I get you anything? Coffee? Water?"

I could do with a double decker foot long submarine sandwich right about now with extra pickle. But that would have to wait, "Roe, Rye'm fine. Rease have a seat."

She sat and smiled at me expectantly.

I climbed into a chair and positioned myself awkwardly so that my eyes were at the same level as hers. "Rhat's rour rull rame, Raron?"

Her eyes went blank. She hadn't understood a word.

I spoke slowly with my best elocution, "Your rast rame. Your first rame is Raron."

She got it, "Oh. Harmon. My name is Sharon Harmon."

"Rank roo. Rye want to ask roo some questions arout Reggie. Rhat ras he like to rork with?"

"He was a good boss. The pay was better than average. The hours could be long sometimes but he didn't quibble about the overtime hours. When I needed some time off for my other gig, he never gave me a problem."

"Rou're other rig ras rodeling?"

"Why yes! How did you know?"

Let's see… drop dead gorgeous, skinny as a rail, expertly-applied make-up, "Rye'm a retective."

The smile faltered just a little. I guess the better answer would be that I had seen her picture somewhere. "Of course."

"Roo rere saying."

"Well… I don't know. He was a pretty good boss."

"Rirtateous?"

I saw the glazed look that meant she was trying to puzzle out what I had just said. It happened a lot. The light came on, "Oh, flirtateous."

There were supposed to be more words here but the flow stopped. "Res, rirtateous. Ras he?"

"Is this going to be confidential?"

Here's the deal with that question. The answer was that it was not. But, to get the answers I needed, I had to lie about that. But I suck at lying. A gave my best compromise, "Rhe onry way that Rye rill tell anyone is if they reed to know to relp us find or help Reggie." Sometimes that was enough and sometimes it wasn't.

It appeared to be enough, "He was pretty flirtatious… and a little touchy/feely."

"Ree touched roo?"

"I don't mean groped or anything. But when he was talking to you, he would touch your forearm or put his hand on your shoulder. His sense of humor was a little risqué sometimes. Maybe more than it should have been."

"Rere there any rumors about rim and any of the romen in the roffice?"

"Well, of course, Marcie came in and they were engaged in a few weeks. But before that, it's a small office and we would have known. And it wasn't like several of the girls weren't trying. He was young, handsome, charming, rich and like a total alpha male. Pretty dreamy. Several of the folks around here would jump at the chance."

"Rourself incruded?"

She thought for a moment, "I had a few daydreams at first, but I've got other dreams at this point in my life, so I wasn't in that competition."

"Rhen he got engaged to Rarcie, what rappened to the rirtateousness?"

"Oh, it went away…" Her voice didn't end on a period. It sort of trailed off.

I prodded, "Rit rent array…?"

"Except that it was coming back. The two or three weeks before he went to Germany, he would act one way with us when Marcie was in the office, but it was pretty much back to his old self when she wasn't. It was kind of uncomfortable."

"Rank roo. Now, how is it rike rorking rith Rarcie?"

Sharon shrugged, "She's fine. A little intense but usually polite to me. And really, really smart."

"Rwhat do roo mean by 'intense'?"

"She's always polite to the admins but I've seen her get frustrated with the scientist types. A couple of times, I've heard her through the glass of her office yelling at them and calling them stupid. I don't think they like her so much. But that could be because she has the project that's the biggest potential moneymaker in the company and she's engaged to the boss. Add that to being called stupid and you have a lot of reasons to not like someone."

We had a rule that we always ended with the same question, "Anything else roo rould rike to add?"

We always got the same answer. She shook her head, "No, that's all I can think of."

"Rank roo."

Between the high heels and the hip-hugging skirt, I wasn't sure how the young admin was able to walk. But walk she did and she did it well. I sometimes wished that I were a human so that I could appreciate such things at more than an aesthetic level. But I wasn't and I couldn't. Nobody seemed to want to believe that last part.

Once I was alone in the conference room, I decided it was time to check in with Velma who was still going through Reggie's office next door. I turned to the connecting door to that office and found a round doorknob. I hate round doorknobs. I was still in a petulant mood from the incident on the sidewalk or I would have just knocked and let Velma open it or walked around. But I was in such a mood and I was going to get the door open myself. Which is why it took me nearly a full two minutes to travel 3 feet. I put on the nonchalant act as though she hadn't heard me wrestling with it for 120 seconds and hadn't heard the punctuation of the occasional spicy verbiage. She played it cool, which was appreciated.

I found her sitting at the desk looking at something small which she was holding in her hands. She looked up as I finally made my way through the door, "You find out anything, Scooby?"

I nodded, "Rust that Reggie's a rayer."

She nodded in return, "I think player is a good word for him. Look what I found in a drawer pocket." She rolled the chair away from the desk to let me see.

A 'drawer pocket' is a common stash site in a desk. An envelope is taped to the underside of the desktop within a drawer. As long as only thin objects are stashed there, it does not impede the movement of the drawer and is not visible. To find it, you have to reach into the drawer and feel around. Which Velma had obviously done.

What she was looking at was a little black book. She had it open and I scanned it. My eyebrow raised. It was a little black book. In the era of cell phones, I didn't know that swinging bachelors used such things anymore. It was an alphabetized address book and the pages which I could see had several names each. Turning pages in a small book was tough so I didn't get to assuage my curiosity as to whether there was anyone listed under 'Z'. Each name had either one or two numbers next to it.

Velma pointed at the numbers, "I am guessing these are some sort of rating system but I'm not sure of what it rates or why it requires two numbers."

I knew. And I wondered if it was a violation of the bro code for me to let her in on it. She would probably figure it out anyway, so I spilled, "Rhe rirst rumber is rhysical attractiveness. Rhe recond rumber is 'ractical application."

Velma's eyes narrowed, "So, the first number is how hot she is, and the second number is how good in bed she is."

I nodded.

"And how do you know this?"

"Ree? Rye've been shown things."

"Did Shaggy have a book like this?"

"Raggy? His rould fit on a postage stamp rith room to spare."

"That's a good answer."

What I was able to avoid telling her was that the little black book I had seen previously was Fred's. During the relatively frequent periods that he and Daphne were off-again, Fred made the rounds. But neither Velma nor Daphne needed to know about that.

Now that she had confirmed that Shaggy was not a player, the book had numbers and she couldn't help herself. They had to be analyzed. "I am not seeing any numbers here higher than '5' so it must be a 1 to 5 rating scale. About two/thirds of the women listed have both numbers and the other third just have the first one. So, he must target the women. He decides they meet his attractiveness requirements and puts in the first number and then adds the second after he has made what I guess is a conquest in his mind. Otherwise, why keep the list?

I decided that the petulance of my mood had waned and I asked Velma to turn to the 'F' page of the book. It was there: Marcie Fleach 5/5. Then I asked her to turn to the "h" page to look up the only other name that I knew. It was also there: Sharon Harmon 5/2. I pointed at the '2'. "Rhis rontradicts what Raron just said to ree."

Velma looked at me, "Direct approach?"

I nodded, stood, walked to the office door, and stuck my head out, "Raron? Do roo have another rinute?"

She perked right up, "Certainly." She hopped up and hustled into the office – for some reason carrying a memo pad and a pencil.

I gestured her to one of the guest chairs. Velma was behind the desk and I sat on the floor just because I was tired of messing with chairs. "Raron, this is Relma Rinkley, rye associate. Earlier, roo asked me if what you said was ronfidential. Rye am going to ask roo a question and rour answer rill be ronfidential. No one rut roo, ree, and Relma will ever know what roo said."

She was fidgeting in her chair as what I was saying was clearly making her edgy. I continued, "Rid roo ever sleep with Reggie?"

Her features hardened, "No."

That was Velma's cue to take over. Women are better bad cops with other women. She pushed the little black book across the desk where Sharon could read her name, "Reggie's little book of conquests says otherwise. He rated you as a 2 out of 5 in bed. Not an impressive score." The purpose of the goading about the score was to bruise Sharon's ego and hopefully make her slip up.

The last vestiges of perkiness went by the wayside, "I don't give a damn what score he put in that stupid little book, I never slept with Reggie. I've put up with this bullshit my entire life and I'm tired of guys lying about me. I don't need this job that bad. I'm done." And then she got up and left. I assumed that was a resignation. We probably should tell somebody.

Velma looked at me, "Do you think she's lying?"

"She ras to be."

She agreed, "Yeah. It's Reggie's little black book. Why would he lie to himself?"

A knock at the door caught our attention. It was Marcie, "My meeting is over now. How goes the sleuthing?"

Velma spoke matter-of-factly, "Sharon Harmon may have just quit."

Marcie looked over her shoulder at the empty desk, "Well, that's interesting. What brought that about?"

"Rye think she re-evaluated her rife roals."

Velma nodded, "We'll go with that… life goals.

Marcie shrugged and sat in the chair just vacated by Sharon, "She was Reggie's private secretary, anyway. She won't be needed until he gets back and then he can deal with it."

Velma, being behind the desk, had ended up in the power position of the carefully arranged office. The desk was huge and, with her petite size, it looked like bring-your-daughter-to-work day. She squared her shoulders and intertwined her fingers on the desk in front of her, "Marcie…" Velma was attempting to establish a serious tone but she looked so much like a little girl playing CEO that Marcie (and I, to be honest) smiled.

Marcie responded with her own ultra-serious tone, "Velma."

Velma – being Velma – didn't notice the humor in Marcie's tone and body language and continued, "I am as big a fan of money as anybody…"

I interjected, "Rot including Fred."

She shrugged, "Okay, anybody but Fred. And I am happy with how much you are paying us but…" Velma seemed to lock up here. I, of course, couldn't read her expression but pauses usually indicated she was struggling with something emotionally. She restarted, "But I want to consider you a friend again. I miss our friendship."

Marcie's humorous mood changed abruptly. This seemed to me to be a very personal moment between the two of them. Why the hell was I here?

A hint of the former iciness returned to Marcie's voice, "A lot of water has gone under that bridge, V. I promised to play nice until we found Reggie but I'm not sure that I'm ready to hug it out. I will admit that it would be easy to fall into the old relationship. It was… comforting. But you are not one to make impassioned pleas without a specific purpose. Let's hear it."

Velma's slight nod indicated that she had expected Marcie to keep up with her, "As your friend, I am recommending that you close this case right now and we go home. You wait for Reggie to come back and then deal with him privately."

"And why would I do that?" Marcie's bearing indicated that she already knew the answer to the question.

"There are things more humiliating than being dumped."

"Such as being cheated on and then dumped?"

Velma pushed the little black book across the desk, "Such as being graded, cheated on, and then dumped."

Marcie reached over, picked up the book, and opened it. A defensive sardonic smile rose on her face as she slowly turned one page after another. A few pages in, she stopped and the smile slipped briefly before being replaced by an act of will. She shook her head, "At least I got high marks. I always did test well."

We didn't respond. What could we possibly say?

She turned two more pages and stopped to look at Sharon's empty desk. I noticed that every page or so, she would straighten up and look out into the office. She placed the book back on the desk, "I see. If I continue the case, then all of the women in the office will know that I know that they slept with my fiancé. And I will lose any pretense of pretending that I don't know. I end up in a choice between my career and my publicly-perceived self-respect." The iciness returned in full force now. I shivered. Marcie was glaring at Velma, "And if you're such a good friend, then why did you show me this at all?"

"I'm obligated by our…"

"If this is another lecture about your damn integrity, just save it, V! I've heard it a thousand times and had to watch it repeated a thousand times on that dumbass television show of yours. This isn't about integrity! You're loving this!"

"Marcie, I swear to you…"

Marcie stood up and shut the door as heads began to turn around the office, "If you liked that, then you're going to love this. I made a mistake. A simple mistake. The simplest. I forgot to put my new patch on for four days."

Velma's mouth dropped open, "Oh."

They both seemed to know what they were talking about. I had no clue. Which didn't seem to matter because neither of them was registering me in the room. Marcie finished, "You see now why I can't give up the case. I need to tell Reggie that he is going to be a daddy."