TRIGGER WARNING - Mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts and abuse. Please read with caution.


never forget what you are,

the rest of the world will not.

wear it like armour,

and it can never been used to hurt you.


Maka didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to think or feel or – She just didn't know. Maka knew Soul would never hit her, she wasn't an idiot. But he also had never been so… She blinked the tears from her eyes furiously, her heart clenching in her chest.

He had scared her. Soul scared her.

The blonde made her way back to her room slowly, delaying the inevitable. She didn't want to sit in her dull, mind-numbing room to just think about what just happened. She needed something else to do, because the moment she thought about Soul, Soul leaving and SoulMaka felt something dangerous bleed into her body.

The things he said. He said they shouldn't have become… Maka shook her head, her eyes welling up again. He was trying to hurt her. Which was a really fucked up thing to do after what she had just gone through. But she preferred the theory of him trying to hurt her rather than him actually meaning what he had said. He couldn't have meant that.

Maka snapped at little things. Like, an off-hand comment about her hair, or her name. But this wasn't little - This was insurmountable. She could barely get through Stein waking her up for her meds before she was ready. Soul didn't want her anymore – And he regretted ever having wanted her in the first place. Maka was nearly at her room when she heard familiar footsteps behind her.

"Oh, not now," Maka moaned as she lowered her head.

"Maka?"

Maka sighed heavily.

"Marie," she turned on her heels reluctantly to face her councillor. Marie frowned and crossed her arms.

"I just ran into Soul," Marie began. With that Maka turned around and kept walking, ignoring Marie's stumbling behind her.

"Maka, come on," Maka shook her head angrily at Marie's stupid, caring and infuriating voice.

Maka had to suppress a growl as she glared at the blurred tiles under her feet. Someone's hands shocked her to a stop.

"Maka," Stein droned in warning.

What was the point? Maka stopped. Marie caught up – finally – and smiled gratefully at Stein.

"Stein," Marie began, her voice breathless. "Thank you – This one went on a bit of a – "

"No time." Stein dismissed her. He pushed Maka gently to the side to whisper in Marie's ear. Maka only picked up a few words.

"They… Adult's ward…Then…Critical…Sorry."

Stein's voice was strangely serious. Usually, his voice was passive, almost bored. To hear him so intent and worried was unsettling. Maka eye's found Marie's face, which slowly morphed from confusion, to concern, and then Maka swore she saw a flash of horror.

"Ah… Oh my – Okay." Marie smiled apologetically at Maka. "I need to go see to something. Stein – Take our Maka back to her room."

Stein just nodded and began walking. Maka huffed but followed.

"So…" Maka began after a few moments of silence. Stein turned his head towards her as he walked. Maka realised how jarring it was to see Stein walking and not on his chair.

"That child on the first floor stirring up trouble again, huh?"

As Maka predicted, Stein sped to a stop.

"Excuse me?" He asked kindly, the tone false. Maka just hummed.

"I've heard about him – It is him, right? What did he do? Did he hurt someone?"

Stein grit his teeth but started walked again. Maka could barely keep up. She chuckled.

"Uh-oh, someone's cranky," Maka mocked, and Stein cast her a dark look.

"You shouldn't know about any of that," Maka shrugged as he continued. "It's none of your business, and if you could just keep that to yourself it would really – "

"Save your ass?"

" – Help."

Maka laughed. Like, really laughed. Stein clicked his tongue and spun to a stop to face Maka.

"Look, you could start a something we and the patients really don't need. There are surprisingly no rumours about this and we'd like to keep it that way. So, please - Don't start anything stupid."

Maka folded her arms and smirked. Stein's eyes bore into her own and her smile widened as she just walked around him.


Maka was still chuckling when she closed her door. She enjoyed the power she had, having this information the adults really didn't want her to know. She was genuinely amused when the coherent part of her brain reminded her why she should be losing it right now. The blonde's smile faded as her eyes swung around to find her door, knowing just behind it was Soul's.

She huffed and fell into her bed. She threw an arm over her face, but the light still intruded. She grabbed a pillow and pushed it over her face. So, what is she going to do here? Just deal with the fact that Soul's leaving and be heart-broken? Show him how much it was hurting her, that the thought of him not being a constant part of her routine was just wrong?

Anger still burned in her stomach at his coldness. She still couldn't believe he would treat her that way, disregard her that way. They had only known each other for a few months, but they both shared things with each other that they never had to anyone else before. That obviously meant nothing to him. Maka meant nothing to him.

She hated how important he became to her. It happened so fast it made her head spin. She obviously wasn't doing as well as she thought, because right now the bed felt like it was swaying beneath her, as if she was in a sinking ship. She didn't even care.

Maka wasn't about to let him treat her that way. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of hurting her, of scaring her. And if Soul thought he could be cold, he had seen nothing yet…

Everything used to be easy. Someone would get close to her, she'd get so happy it scared her, so she stopped being their friend. Better to hurt others than be hurt, right? But now, Maka really doesn't feel that way. Soul was… Too good. He suddenly – and unexpectedly – meant too much.

It was just so annoying. She didn't fucking sign up for this. This was not meant to happen. But here she was, laying in her bed, trying to figure out how to stop caring about that impossible man. It become more annoying when she recalled that she was literally here to get better, but so far all being in this place had done was ruin and complicate things.

Especially her defence mechanisms.

"Maka."

Maka lay still before pulling to pillow away from her face a sitting up slowly. She cast her eyes to the infuriatingly beautiful man at her door. Why did he have to be so…? How can she possibly…

"Get out."

Soul's expression didn't change. His brow furrowed slightly, but then he just shook his head in disapproval.

"No," he kept shaking his head. "No, don't do that."

"Do what?"

"That." He gestured at her. "That stupid, fucking emotionless act."

Maka scoffed. The fucking nerve of this man.

"You mean the exact same thing you did?"

Soul's eyes hardened. They looked hurt, but she knew it wasn't her who caused that. He did this to himself.

"I wasn't acting. This really was a stupid thing to do. We never should have started something in a place like this."

Maka stood up and faced him, meeting him in the centre of the room..

"You don't get to decide that." She snapped, her throat tightening. "You don't get to make all the decisions about – whatever the fuck this is. I'm in this too, so don't just throw everything we had in my face like it was nothing."

"What did we had?" he hissed back through his teeth, his crimson eyes burning with rage. "We kissed one fucking time – "

"Two – "

"Oh, grow up, Maka!" he snapped. "Listen to yourself. You really think you're the only girl I brought into that room?"

From the looks of it, Soul regretted saying it the moment the words left his mouth. Maka didn't react. No way was she going to give him that. She gave him a sharp nod.

And then she left.

"Hey. Hey!"

Maka had to stop herself from speeding into a jog as she heard his voice behind her. He eventually caught up and grabbed her shoulder to spin her around.

"I'm sorry - "

"No – No!" She rounded furiously on him. "You do not get to do that. You do not get to tell me all the things you know would kill me to hear and then beg for forgiveness. So just fuck off, Soul. You win, okay? You want me to believe this was a mistake? Congratulations, I fucking believe it."

Soul's eyes were tortured, like they were flickering between two emotions. Maka didn't have time to care. She started to walk away again, but Soul grabbed her again.

"Maka, plea – "

"Soul."

The two looked up at Sid's booming voice. Sid made his way towards them, but his eyes remained only on Soul.

"Something's come up," He said gruffly, gesturing behind him. "You gotta come with me."

Soul's pained eyes flickered back to Maka.

"Maka, please." He muttered. Maka scoffed – He quietened down now, didn't he?

"You have somewhere to be." She said, her voice clipped. Soul growled and looked back at Sid.

"Can I go back to my room later?" Roughly translated to: 'Can I come back to meet Maka in the piano room to continue our conversation?'

Maka felt a swirl of unease but Sid answered before she could voice her distaste.

"I don't know how long we'll be - Don't worry," he started when Soul looked like he would interrupt. "You'll see again Maka before you..."

"No, he won't," Maka murmured as she pulled her arm from Soul's grasp to make her way back to her room.

She heard Sid call to ask if she was alright as she walked away. All Maka could do was nod mutely as she made her way back into her room, refusing to look back as Soul's eyes burned into her.