"Hey guys. Hank here, Play Madness Combat 5: Cheshrye-Main Theme. Or I'll cosmically break your knee caps... El Demonio my fucking ass you walking tumor."


It was the dead of night in Tokyo, but despite that neon kept flashing for miles on end and people enjoyed the night life of the city.

People walked in huge mobs, traveling from place to place in a never ending want for more. Almost none paid attention to the large building at the center of the Chiyoda ward.

The Tokyo Metropolitan Police headquarters. The large building has seen better days when it had full funding. Cracks, potholes, and weathering marked it as a relic from before the age of heroes.

Across the street stood a man with a trench coat worn over a suit, in his hands was a bulky suitcase and a fedora worn on his head. The hat obscuring the top half of his face.

He crossed the street, mindful of the constant stream of cars going in either direction before heading into the headquarters itself.

As soon as he entered he found three lines of people waiting to enter as they went through metal detectors and were searched by a dozen police officers.

The man scoffed before walking past the metal detectors. Shocking the crowd and the police.

An old grizzled sergeant growled in anger before walking up to the man.

"Where do you think you're going? Get back in line and-" The man slowly turned around and faced the sergeant. The old man gained a cold sweat as he came face to face with the gaunt man. The Soldats single yellow eyepiece looking down at the officer.

The briefcase then suddenly turned into a compact bullpup rifle and the Soldat fired two rounds into the officer's chest.

Faster than any human could react or move the Soldat then fired off five more rounds, hitting five other officers in between the eyes.

He then flipped to the side as the other six officers fired their revolvers at him. The soldat then in mid air fired off twelve shots, killing the rest of the officers.

He glared at the crowd before moving deeper into the compound. Walking into a large two three story room dozens of police officers rushing in armed with MP5s and Mossberg 180 shotguns.

The soldat took cover behind a nearby stone pillar.

Immediately the policemen began screaming at the soldat, all of them twitching, sweating, and in various states of terror and nervousness. The soldat meanwhile was leisurely checking his ammo count, sliding the rack back to check before mentally calculating his shots and slamming his gun shut.

"Unit-OBSV-017, 5 hostiles to your right, 7 to your left, 6 above you."

Overwatch's cold mechanically voice sounded absolutely menacing as it cackled in his radio piece.

"10-4, identity of VIP confirmed?" he replied smoothly, peeking out of cover to identify the hostiles before ducking back as the policemen opened fire.

"10-4, confirmed presence of 10-60. Neutralize them all."

"10-4." the soldat responded before leaning out of cover and immediately opening fire. His eye-piece identified the targets within seconds, giving him targeting parameters that he capitalized on as he scythed down half his opposition before any of the policemen could react.

As the rest took cover or froze in place, the clone ran out of cover, moving into a fast sprint far quicker than any normal baseline human could react to.

He shouldered his bullpup rifle quickly on his back with the strap, taking out a glock 19 and shooting at the paralyzed remaining survivors. He scored headshots at two police officers instantly, double tapping them both and scattering their brains across the ground. The other five turned to open fire blindly, most of the shots missing or the soldat dodging quickly as he whipped his aim to kill them all.

Firing quickly, he spent the magazine on his side arm quickly eliminating the ground floor while the officers above began to curse as they aimed downward. Running into an opposite pillar for cover, the soldat quickly slid behind the cold concrete and pressed his back against it while ejecting his spent magazines.

"Unit-OBSV-017, armored units are enroute to position."

"10-4."

The soldat reloaded his sidearm and tucked it back into his webbing, reloading the bullpup rifle next before calmly unclipping a grenade. As the upstairs policemen cautiously began to peek out of cover and edge closer, the Agency clone tossed a frag grenade into their midst, causing them to cry out in horror.

"SHI-" one of them cried out in horror before he was blown apart along with his companions, turning them into bloodied mist or horribly maiming them.

"10-76." the Soldat reported as he got out of cover and began sprinting up, confirming his kills on the survivors before bursting through a set of doors.

Terrified screams and yelps were heard as the soldat burst into an office with terrified employees and receptionists, the clone scanning the room. A police officer stood up with a shotgun but was put down before he could even aim.

Another tried to stay behind cover but the soldat opened fire, his bullets cutting through the thin cover and tearing the man apart.

"10-74." he reported to Overwatch.

"10-4. VIP is in the area. Keep looking."

"10-4." the soldat reported as he turned to the opposite door and repeated the process, intending to sweep the entire facility before increased opposition arrived.

The soldat jogged forward, his rifle at the ready and he came to a hallway with four rooms on either side and a set of double doors at the end of it..

"Unit-OBSV-017, four tangos approaching from behind."

"10-4" The Soldat then turned around swiftly and fired three bursts that hit and killed three of the SAT officers. Their cheap kevlar armor doing nothing to stop the caseless armor piercing rounds.

The fourth SAT officer recoiled in shock and fear, the operator dropping their gun and holding their hands up. "I-I surren-" he was interrupted when the soldat fired a round in between his eyes.

He then turned his attention to the door and kicked it open. A detective inside fired his revolver at the soldat but the super soldier dodged the bullet before double tapping the detective.

He then walked out of the room and kicked down the next door. Finding nothing but an empty office.

He walked to the next room and kicked it down. Two police officers waiting for him and a scruffy looking homeless man in handcuffs.

The Soldat reacted first and double tapped both of the officers before walking over to the shaking homeless man who looked up at the soldat in utter terror.

"Command. VIP is secure."

"10-4. Escort on its way, ETA is ten minutes."

"10-4"

The soldat then grabbed the man roughly by the scruff of his neck.

"You are being rescued. Congratulations. Do not resist."

The soldat then dragged the man harshly away, moving quickly for extraction as Overwatch sent a chopper to pick them up. As the soldat made his way out, he dodged the fusillade of bullets that greeted him. The man screamed in his grasp, crying out tearfully for salvation.

The soldat simply pushed him aside, knocking him to the ground where the man curled up into a ball. The clone meanwhile calmly stepped out of cover, opening fire at the approaching SAT officers, puncturing their armor easily and sending them to the ground permanently.

When his rifle clicked dry, he ducked back into cover, grabbed the man by his neck, and hauled him out while leaving his rifle strapped to his back.

"VIP 10-76." he reported as he took out his glock and doubled tapped any officer who poked their head out. As he continued down the hallway, Overwatch's cold voice cut through the chaos.

"Extraction confirmed. Increased presence of hostiles confirmed. Move quickly."

Voicing his affirmative, he rushed forward, practically dragging the man behind him like an object. As the VIP struggled to catch his footing, the soldat threw him down to the ground as more SWAT officers poured through into the first floor.

They opened fire at him immediately and the soldat ducked down, dodging the flood of lead as he pried an MP5 out of the hands of its dead owner. Going guns akimbo, he jumped up and sighted his targets, double tapping with his glock before it ran dry while using the MP5 to perforate any caught out in the open.

When it clicked dry, he discarded his weapons and jumped down, dodging their panicked and surprised line of fire as he rushed forward and got into close quarters fighting.

The first officer tried to shoot him but the soldat slammed an elbow into his face, cracking the mask and dazing him while the clone grabbed the officer and flipped him around, using him as cover while appropriating the MP5 in his hands.

As the SAT members shot their own by accident, the soldat answered with his own, wounding three and killing one entirely. As the survivors gasped and grimaced in pain, one dropping to the ground, the soldat discarded his meat shield and rushed forward again.

He ducked under a hasty overhang swing, tackling the officer and slamming the man against a pillar before slamming his knee into the head again and again until the face was bloodied behind comprehension. As his fellows struggled to react, the soldat moving too fast, the clone responded again taking the dead officer's pistol and double tapping the survivors.

As the precinct's first floor became silent again, the soldat rushed up to find the VIP trying to crawl away. Snarling, the clone grabbed the man harshly as he began to drag him down the stairs screaming all the while.

Heading harsh orders and sounds of boots stomping on the ground, the soldat tucked his borrowed pistol aside as he unclipped another frag grenade, letting it cook before tossing it at the entrance just as a fresh team of SWAT responders arrived.

When it exploded, it scattered the poor bastards and left a clear exit for the soldat.

"VIP secured, 10-76."

"10-4, chopper has arrived."

The soldat responded curtly before executing the survivors as he passed. The AAHW chopper flew into view, causing a panic as curious spectators outside began screaming and running away. The compartment opened up and the agents and engineers inside welcomed the soldat and their new acquisition.

The few officers left were suppressed as the agents opened fire with their weapons and soon the two were safely tucked away as the chopper lifted and flew off.

Leaving behind a desiccated precinct with numerous dead bodies left on the ground.


*Soldats amiright?*


Ok ya brat, after the shitshow a few days ago. I've come up with something different for tonight's training. Maybe this will open your eyes.

Izuku then felt a sudden weightlessness as he was forced into being high above a grey dessert. The red sky almost swallowed him.

A thick black trench coat worn over a grey jumpsuit. The wind hit his face as he spread his arms and legs out to create drag and slow down his descent.

He grew closer and closer to the ground and before he hit it he transitioned himself mid air and landed on his feet. Bending his knees before transitioning into a roll. The energy created by the fall dissipated by the sand and his maneuver.

As soon as he stood up a large grey facility was suddenly created in front of him. He then reached into his coat and pulled out his skull mask and put it on.


"Hey guys, Hank again. Play API Madness. Or I'll shoot your balls off."


He then entered the compound. As soon as he did he saw four agents waiting for him. He wasted no time and rushed forward.

The first one held a Bowie knife and tried to stab him but Izuku caught the arm and broke it before headbutting the agent. He then jumped backwards as another one tried to bash his skull with a bat.

He then flipped sideways as the fourth agents fired a glock at him.

Izuku then ran up the wall before using it as a springboard to launch himself towards the agent, blocking four shots with his right arm before elbowing the agent in the jaw, breaking it.

Wasting no time he grabbed the glock before pistol whipping the agent, he was then grabbed from behind before being suplexed.

Izuku rolled away and ducked under a sword swing from the fourth agent. With the Glock still in hand Izuku broke the handgun before rushing forward, ducking under a thrust before punching the agent in the gut.

He then blocked a hit from a bat before roundhouse kicked the agent.

"Gah!" Izuku shouted out in pain as the agent who's arm he broke stabbed him in the back. Izuku then elbowed the agent in the face, knocking out his teeth.

What are you doing Charmy Green?

Izuku frowned as Hank's voice cut into his thoughts, the vigilante finishing off the agent by grabbing him and throwing him at the wall hard, bones audibly cracking as the agent coughed up blood.

He fell down into a heap incapacitated alongside his companions, the other three in various disarray of incapacitation.

The young hero made sure of it further by giving a harsh kick to their side or faces, knocking them out savagely. Panting, he leaned on his knees while Hank scoffed in his head.

His voice was like a megaphone, tone dripping with exasperation.

Come on kid! These are agents! Clones. NOT REAL PEOPLE!

His voice was painfully loud, the last word said with such emphasis that it rang in Izuku's head. The vigilante winced, shaking his head at the assassin, or where he thought the voice was.

"Killing is…killing isn't something I want to do Hank…taking a life?" he trailed off, unable to continue as his face grew uncomfortable.

Grow up Greenie. Or the world will beat you within an inch of your life and piss on your grave.

Hank's words were heavy with finality and cold contempt as Izuku walked towards the door while clutching his arm.

He grabbed some gauze from a medical container and wrapped it up before stepping through the opened door.

He faced five more agents, one with a metal mask carrying an mp5 which he immediately used to hose Izuku's position with lead. The vigilante dodged to the side quickly while the engineer's comrades rushed forward with swords or lead pipes.

Izuku dodged their clumsy strikes, his movements too fast for them as he smashed the sword wielding one's face in, cracking his crimson shades in two and breaking his nose.

The agent was knocked backwards while Izuku grabbed his sword quickly, swinging it quickly to deflect the incoming bullets of the engineer.

Instead of striking him, they flew all over the place instead, ricocheting off tables and walls. The gun clicked empty not long after and the engineer cursed, stepping back to reload.

As Izuku dodged the other two agents, cutting one of their melee weapons in half and using the pommel to knock them back, Hank's voice cut in again.

Could've deflected the bullets back Dekster. Hit the engineer, or hell clear the room of the chaff. Instead he's reloading and you're still fighting those two

Izuku frowned even further, his face straining as he smashed the sword's pommel against one of the agents and knocked him against the wall while dodging the other's fists. He quickly flung up his sword and threw it like a javelin, sending it flying towards the engineer's hands and maiming him as well as knocking the gun out.

Hank groaned as Izuku furiously began to kick and jab at the agent, hitting his throat hard enough to cause the agent to choke and fall to his knees.

Izuku then grabbed the agents head and slammed his knee into the clones nose. Breaking it and knocked him unconscious.

Izuku then felt his spine tingle and he hastily jumped back, dodging another sword strike as the other three agents rushed towards him.

The first one swung his sword wildly, Izuku caught his arms and threw the agent over his hip before stomping on the agent's stomach. Causing the clone to throw up the contents of his stomach.

Izuku then jumped over another sword swing before side kicking the agent hard enough to send him flying and in mid air grabbed the third agent by the head.

Izuku then shifted his body, landing on his feet before picking the agent up by the head and slamming him back down on the ground. Breaking bones and almost snapping the agent's neck.

Izuku then felt his spine shiver and then felt a burning pain in his abdomen as a bullet passed through it.

Izuku almost collapsed from pain but instead forced himself to flip to the side as the Engineer began to fire wildly at the vigilante with a Beretta, aiming with his only good hand.

Izuku landed on his feet before blocking another two shots and then rushing the Engineer. He reached the clone in a moment and grabbed his arm before breaking it.

Izuku then punched the Engineer three times in the gut before punching him full force in the mask, cracking and denting it.

Izuku let the unconscious clone hit the floor before moving on to the next room.

Pathetic.

"Shut up Hank."

When Izuku entered he saw another two engineers and three agents. The agents all wielded batons while the Engineers had axes.

The engineers pointed and the agents rushed toward, brandishing their batons threateningly. Izuku sighed as he dodged their attacks, striking hard with his fists and aiming for their throats and noses.

As he struck hard and fast, they tried to surround him, darting forward all at once to overwhelm him. He dodged the first one and kicked his legs out as the clone passed, sending the agent into the ground with a broken knee and a cry of pain.

Meanwhile his two comrades struck at the same time, trying to beat at him with batons but the vigilante reflexes were honed.

However he was limiting himself to nonlethal takedowns and the fact that they were so relentless made things harder for him. They were unlike any of his opponents, going at him with a single minded determination.

Izuku blocked and dodged easily while striking back with devastating effect, sending a right hook that dislocated one of the agents' jaw and sent him sprawling. But as he fought his comrade, the clone got back up broken jaw and all.

No matter their injuries they kept going and it was something that Izuku had a hard time dealing with. The broken knee one latched onto his leg suddenly, grabbing at his limb with both hands when Izuku kicked his foot across his face harshly, knocking his shades off and a few teeth.

As the clone let go, the momentary distraction was enough for the other agent to wail on him with his baton, striking at Izuku's head and causing him to back up before suddenly springing forward in a headbutt, knocking the man back.

However this was when the engineers struck, moving fast and swinging with reckless abandon. The vigilante grimaced as barely dodged one, the axe whistling loudly by his ear as he sent an uppercut into the ATP's chest.

As the engineer flew backwards against and hit the agent with the dislocated jaw, the other engineer tried picking up the slack. A quick jab to the face stunned the clone long enough, the force of the blow cracking the lens on his mask.

As the engineer recoiled, Izuku poured all his frustration into his next attack, sending a flying kick at the engineer's torso that assuredly cracked if not broke his ribs entirely as he sent the engineer flying backwards into a heap.

But still, despite that, the others got up again. Picking up the axe dropped by his opponent, Izuku used it to block the engineer's strike before using the flat end like a mallet, smashing it against the engineer's face and knocking his mask off.

The agent from earlier began whacking at Izuku's head again but the vigilante was infuriated and he simply swiped his arm again, swinging at the agent's hand knocking the baton right out.

He then flipped the axe and bludgeoned in the agent's face, turning it into a bloodied mess before letting the clone drop as the other two staggered to their feet.

Izuku growled before sucker punching the first agent that got to his feet. His fist slamming into the clones chest and sending him crashing into the wall in an unconscious heap.

The other agent grabbed his baton and then striked the vigilante as hard as he could on the shoulder. The baton broke in half.

Before the agent could realize what happened Izuku's fist slammed into his face without a second thought. The agent finally fell to the ground unconscious.

Izuku groaned and went to the next room but suddenly the door to said room opened and a man who had one glowing yellow eyepiece with a trench coat over a suit.

The eyepiece connected to a strap that circled around the mans face, making him look like he only had one eye. A Soldat.

The Soldat was holding a glass filled with ice and scotch with an agent holding an AK-157 behind him.

The Agent looked alarmed but the Soldat suddenly pushed his glass into the agents arms.

"Hold this for me." The Soldat said before calmly walking over to Izuku before cracking his neck.

Izuku and the Soldat stared each other down for a moment before Izuku pounced toward the clone and tried to slam his knee into the commando's face.

But the soldat caught him before slamming Izuku down and then tried to stomp on Izuku's chest but the Vigilante acted first and kicked the Soldat in the abdomen, giving him some room to roll backwards and stand up.

The Soldat then rushed forward and delivered a series of jabs that Izuku blocked before Izuku ducked under a hook and punched the soldat in the gut.

The Soldat then grabbed Izuku's outstretched arm and headbutted the vigilante before throwing him over his shoulder. Izuku landed on the ground harshly again.

The soldat then tried to break Izukus arm but he twisted on the ground and was now facing belly down before jumping up and slamming his knee in the Soldats face. Staggering him.

Izuku tried to follow up with a right hook but the Soldat reacted faster and punched Izuku in the liver before decking him in the jaw.

The Soldat then followed up with a roundhouse kick that almost sent Izuku sprawling across the floor. But Izuku caught himself and jumped back up.

Come on dummie this isn't the time for games and morals.

Izuku was too busy trying not to die to retort this time, something that caused Hank to sign again in exasperation.

Fine. Get yourself killed. Why should I care? Soldats certainly won't. In fact they crave it.

Izuku rushed forward, his arms moving quickly and becoming a blur as he launched a lightning fast barrage of jabs and punches. However, to his slight amazement the soldat reacted admirably, taking a few hits from the initial barrage before blocking and then dodging to counter attack.

Some of the toughest mooks the AAHW has to offer. I mean not really seeing who I am, but for you yes.

Izuku got a swift knee to the torso, knocking the air out of his lungs when he overextended himself for just a moment. One that the soldat capitalized on far faster than he expected.

Quick.

Izuku retaliated, ducking down and then slamming his head up, crashing his skull up against the soldat's chin and knocking him backwards. As the vigilante stepped back, intending on gathering his bearings and to make sense of the situation, the soldat suddenly whipped his head back down, growling as he staggered forward.

Tough.

Izuku was forced to counter before he got a gauge on the soldat, made all the worse by his seemingly unorthodox and wild attacks, likely influenced by drink. It made predicting the soldat difficult and the vigilante made the wrong prediction and promptly got a left hook across the face, ducking right into it when the soldat feinted.

And highly skilled…and drunk but that's not important.

As Izuku staggered backwards, he really wanted to say a backhanded insult at Hank for this opponent but was prevented by the soldat increasingly wailing on him.

Unlike before where he could simply endure the assault and counter attack, the soldat's sheer endurance and perseverance meant that it was a game of attrition.

And to Izuku's growing dread, he was losing it. The agents and engineers were a pain to deal with but the soldat was a nightmare, going toe to toe with Izuku despite him tapping into his powers more.

As Izuku delivered a devastating strike against the soldat's face, he expected the clone to fly backwards into a heap like the rest. Instead, he recoiled backwards in obvious pain and he definitely felt the punch.

The soldat's teeth clattered, knocking loose and the jaw dislocated, but the soldat simply shook himself off as he dodged Izuku's next punch, countering with an equally as powerful uppercut punch into his chest.

And that was when the entire ordeal crumbled on the vigilante as he was sent backwards into a heap, gasping for breath. As he groaned, curling up slightly, the soldat grunted as he adjusted his dislocated jaw with a slight grimace and nothing more.

They're tough bastards for the average dumbass, especially if you don't go in for the kill right away. Don't end it as quickly as possible?

The soldat looked over Izuku as he tried to sit up, to do something.

Well you're kinda shit out of luck bud.

Izuku grabbed a baton and hit the Soldat in the side before trying to hit him in the head. The Soldat blocked the attack with his arms before head butting Izuku again.

The soldat then followed with a devastating combo on punches, each one driving Izuku back more and more and blood began to paint the grey walls with each blow.

With one final right hook Izuku collapsed to his knees, breathing hoarsely and painfully.

His vision filled with stars when the Soldat punched him again. The blow was so hard that he crashed into the floor, his blood splattering the floor.

Izuku groaned as the Soldat picked up an Axe and walked over to the vigilante.

Izuku tried to get up as the Soldat raised the axe high up. Izuku raised an arm.

"Wai-"

The axe cleaved through his arm and half his head in but an instant.

He then shot up covered in a cold sweat and he hyperventilated. His right hand touched where the axe hit head. Phantom pains lingering.

Well don't you look like kicked shit

Izuku sighed and formed his hand into a fist. "Shut up Hank."

What? It's not my fault you got a little of the top removed cause of 'mUh MoRaLs'. And against a soldat too of all things. Disappointing.

"Hank." Izuku growled out in anger.

Ok ya big baby. Maybe I should let you come to the answer when you're done having a fit. Sweet Dreams princess.

Izuku felt Hank leave, his mind bitter and angry. He laid back down and closed his eyes, trying to go back to sleep. Soon finding that he just couldn't, not after... that.

He sighed and got out of bed, his eyes darted to the chest hidden under the floorboards but he shook his head. He was done with that.

He instead walked over to his computer and turned it on. Maybe he could watch videos on Hero fights overseas.


Dumb stubborn fuckin kid. What I get for trying to help… wonder where he gets that from? Heh.


Izuku Midoriya

Currant Danger Rating: DELTA

Subject Powers

Mutated Right Arm

Advanced Senses

SuperHuman Strength, Endurance, Agility, and Reflexes

6 times faster than the average person

Nexus Bolt

Nexus Wail

BULLET-TIME

Sixth Sense

Minor Empath abilities

Advanced Metabolism

Martial Proficiencies

Boxing(Professional)

Krav Maga(Advanced)

Muay Thai(Advanced)

Jiu-Jitsu(Advanced)

Ninjitsu(Adept)

Escrima(Adept)

Silat(Adept)

Jeet Kune Do(Beginner)

Combat Shooting(Advanced)

Subject Stats

STRENGTH: B
AGILITY: A
SPEED: A
ENDURANCE: C

INTELLECT: A
TACTICAL: A
AWARENESS: B

SOCIAL: C


"Thank you for the purchase. Come again!" Mina said excitedly as she returned the clothing to the customer with a smile. Her work outfit consists of a red vest worn over a white shirt and some black dress pants and some dress shoes.

The pink haired girl sighed contently as she leaned on the counter. Her part time job, while rather boring. Was nice. Her boss and owner of the store expressed admiration when Mina told her of her goal of becoming a hero.

She even helped the horned girl with designing her costume. Apparently she was a former costume designer for many well known heroes in America. But had came to Japan to retire.

Just then a familiar face and repeat customer walked over to her and placed a black trench coat with dark green highlights and some cargo shorts on the counter. He himself was wearing a green hoodie and some jeans.

She looked up at the tall green haired boy, her eyes meeting his red sun glasses with a small grin on her face.

"Hey Midoriya-kun. Another trench coat? If I didn't know you any better I would've thought you were some tough guy gangster." She said with a giggle.

Midoriya blushed slightly before rubbing the back of his head bashfully. "O-Oh n-no. I just think it looks cool." He said softly, causing Mina to giggle again.

"I get it, let me scan those for you… and this will be 4765 Yen." She said with a small smile. Midoriya reached into his pocket and pulled out a small wad of Yen and handed it to her.

As Mina began to count the money Izuku grabbed the trench coat and slipped it on with a smile on his face. Mina looked up and raised an eyebrow at it but didn't pay it any mind.

Once she was done and stored the money away she wished the boy goodbye.

"Thank you for being a valued customer of Edna fashion. Come again." She said with the same amount of cheer she always did.

Midoriya waved bye before walking away with his clothes in hand.

Mina looked at him for a second more before frowning slightly. Now that she thought about it, his build when he had the trench coat on he sorta looked like…

Mina chuckled to herself. 'Ok dummy, think for a moment. No way someone as timid as him could be the Wraith.' She thought with a shake of her head.


In a two story grey house somewhere in Nevada lived two roommates, within the rather normal looking living room Sanford sat on the grey couch with his legs propped up on the coffee table as he watched the morning news.

"Hey San, where do you wanna eat today?" Deimos asked as he walked into the room, an ACE unit in hand.

"Uhhh. I dunno, what are the options?" Sanford asked without taking his eyes off the Flatscreen TV.

"Well we could go to Femboy Hooters, or maybe Milf Denny's. Ooh they've just opened a Goth girl iHop nearby!" Deimos exclaimed with stars in his eyes.

Sanford paused and slowly turned his head towards Deimos. "What?" He asked, confusion written all over his face.

"Yeah you're right. We could go to Egirl Applebees, Or maybe Tomboy Outback?" The techie asked as he pointed two finger guns at Sanford.

"... Huh!?" Sanford asked as he stood up, his flight or fight sense triggering.

"Me I would go with Milf Denny's for gentle femdom from big milky mommy dommies. Or maybe Femboy Hooters. Boys make the best girls you know."

"Wait!" Deimos said suddenly, as if he had come to an epiphany.

"I changed my mind, Tomboy Outback. Stacked and Built just how I like it, and they have cute shy flat chested girls too. So it's a win-win ya know?" Deimos said as he motioned his hands around, like he was balancing two imaginary weights.

"... Deimos what the fuck are you talking about?"


"Waaagh! Waaagh! I'm Sanford and I think sex is icky and gross!"

"Oh fuck off ya gaylord."

"Hey man! traps aren't gay."

"Oh I didn't know that it wasn't gay if the penis was girly."

"Yeah yeah. Listen. Whatever makes my dick hard is a woman fucktard."

The two looked at each other for a moment.

"Eat shit and die San."

"Yeah, fuck you."

They then burst out laughing before high fiving each other.


Play Coffin Nails


Sanford and Deimos were back to back before music began to play off in the background.

They then faced forward before begging to bust a rhyme together in perfect sync.

"Rap snitches, telling all their business

Sit in the court and be their own star witness

Do you see the perpetrator? Yeah, I'm right here

Fuck around, get the whole label sent up for years, uh

Rap snitches, telling all their business

Sit in the court and be their own star witness

Do you see the perpetrator? Yeah, I'm right here

Fuck around, get the whole label sent up for years"


RIP MF DOOM, the one and only MadVillian.


Heyo guys. It's me, Mario. But yeah, Happy Madness Day! It's been a wild ride so far huh? Lotta crazy shit happening. But I want to give a yuge thank you to ManwithaPlan113 for helping me out with writing the Soldat related bits for this chapter. And a big thank you to Quentin3655 and Spirit9875 for inspiring me to make these short side stories.

And I'm working on a madness Collab with Quentin3655, ManwithaPlan113, and King-Naberius. It's called Hank: A man of Interest, keep on the lookout for it amigos.

Also all of this is canon to the main story lololololololololololol.

BTW: I will no longer include reviews in the AN because it makes it too long. I'll answer reviews via PM instead. So if you're a guest, create an account so I can answer you properly.

P.S Dear Bloodclan, I don't care about your dumbfuck OC and which twink they bang, fuck off. Write your own fic instead of dumping it all into my review section so I can ignore you properly.