Author's Note: Thank you for those that continue to read, review, and follow/favorite this story! Please see the note at the end of the chapter for trigger warnings As we move into the back half of the story, some of the darker themes will become more prevalent.
Chapter 6
"I am very good at what I do. I am better at it than anyone else. And that is not arrogance, that is a fact," Olivia Pope, Scandal.
Now: Lily
Apparating in front of James' house—their house, once upon a time—was like stepping back in time.
"You stayed?" Lily asked, looking at his profile as they approached the front door, which she had painted white, with climbing roses on the brown brick. The place that had been so theirs but in four years had become his and his alone.
"Yeah, seemed as good as place as any," James said, and his shrug was casual, almost too casual.
Shooting her a nervous smile, he opened the door and murmured a soft "Welcome home," which almost caused Lily to retort except—
It was her home.
As she took in the living room that she and James had painstakingly restored and renovated, it was essentially the same: the same furniture, same colors, same throw blanket over the couch. Without speaking, she moved to the kitchen, which also remained the same, even down the placement of the colander in the cabinet, Lily noted, as she absentmindedly opened a cabinet.
"James—" she said, her voice soft, eyes searching him.
"I wanted you to come home," James said with a shrug. "When," he paused, shook his head, "If you came back to me, I wanted it to be to your home, the one you created."
"But I didn't come back," she said, and she could feel emotion rising in her chest.
"You're here now," James said, shrugging. "You came back now."
"Please don't—" Lily started, but stopped when James shook his head.
"I know," James cut her off. "I know. But you're here anyway."
Lily nodded, keeping her eyes on him as he crossed the kitchen to her, slowly, like she were a deer he didn't want to startle.
"Do you want to go upstairs?" James asked softly, holding out a hand to her.
And she knew, without a doubt, she should run. That no good could come out this, that this backsliding was dangerous for her, that it would undoubtedly confuse her, break her.
But none of that stopped her from putting her hand in his. And it certainly did not stop the tingles sparking where their hands met.
And it definitely did not stop her from pulling his arm to halt him for a moment so she could lightly grasp his chin, titling his mouth down to reach hers.
And when they kissed, Lily was home.
James did everything the way he flew, Lily had thought once when they were younger, just starting out. He was daring and free, calculated and controlled. And his kiss, this kiss, was no different. He was firm and warm, lips sliding over hers as a soft "hello," before increasing the pressure, slowly, until she found her mouth opening just a tad, inviting his tongue in. James obliged, and from that moment, she was a goner.
His hands tangled in her hair, breaking apart for a moment before he made his way down her throat, causing Lily to let out a soft moan, a moan that became a bit louder as he sucked her pulse point.
"Upstairs," Lily said, her voice hoarse, even a little desperate.
James did not respond, but instead, grabbed her hand and moved her quickly to the stairs, to their room, which like the rest of the house was still so them it nearly caused her heart to crack again.
But there was no time for that, not now, because he was on her again, lips on hers, hands ghosting down her bare back.
"This dress," James groaned in her ear. "You wore it to torture me, didn't you?"
Lily let out a small laugh. "I just thought it was pretty," she said with mock innocence.
"Very pretty," James said, and his voice was nearly a growl as his hands moved to her straps, pulling them down her shoulders. "May I take this very pretty dress off you, now?"
"Please," Lily said, and James gave a little smirk, kissing her left shoulder as he did just that, leaving Lily standing nude before him in just her heels.
"I've missed this," James said, allowing his hands to explore, slowly making his way from his shoulders, past her breasts, down to her hips.
Lily kept her eyes trained on him, watching him watch her. "See something you like?"
"Very much," James responded, and their mouths met again. He walked her back to the bed, and she allowed him to lay her down, where he hovered over her, his mouth making its way from her mouth to her neck before finding her breasts, slowly caressing her nipple with his tongue. His hand traveled between her legs, caressing her in that most sensitive place, giving her just a taste of what she needed, but teasing her, tantalizingly so.
"James," she said softly. "Please—"
"Shh, you'll get it," James said, lifting his head from her left breast before moving to her right. "Just let me have you like this first."
Lily let out another soft whimper as he continued his work, finger still teasing her clit, teasing her entrance, making her squirm.
"I need more," Lily said, feeling hot and tingling, skin practically on fire as he continued his slow, sensual, methodical undoing. "More—"
And finally James obliged, putting more pressure on her clit, rubbing firm circles, teeth grazing he right nipple.
"Yes, that's so good, James, yes—" Lily panted, and she could feel a climax building, could feel herself climbing higher when he unlatched from his breasts, kissing a trail down her stomach to her pelvis where his tongue took over the work on her clit and he slid two fingers inside of her, curling into her, stroking her just right.
"I know how you like it, baby," James said, and with that word, baby felt herself teetering toward the edge. "Let go for me. Come for me," and his mouth went back to her, more determined, more sure than ever.
And Lily did just that.
She ceased to be aware of time and space, just pleasure, mind numbing pleasure exploding within her as she came in a torrent of yes and James but he still continued, licking her and stroking her until she felt herself climbing again.
"Touch yourself," James growled as he moved away. "I want you close, so close, when I fill you. Keep yourself right there," and he hastily undressed, removing his jacket and shirt, buttons flying as he ripped it off, slipping off his shoes and socks, and discarding his pants and boxer briefs.
And Lily, who had been continuing to trace figure eights on her sensitive clit, took him in, muscled and lean, his length spectacular and hard, moisture already gathering at the head.
"Jamie," she found herself whispering, but as his eyes snapped to her, Lily knew he heard. He crawled back up her, mouth finding hers, and this time was no less demanding, but there was something else there—something softer, loving, even.
"Are you close, baby?" He whispered.
"Yes, so close," Lily rasped out.
"Good," and then he slid inside her, hand moving back to her clit, and Lily came apart immediately.
"Jamie, yes, yes—"
He continued to thrust into her through that climax, then altered the pace between fast and slow, giving her circular motions that had her seeing stars again.
"I can't come again," Lily said, voice needy as she felt her third climax approaching. "I can't—"
"You can, and you will," James rasped. "I'm close, really close, but I'm waiting on you. One more baby, just give me one more, please."
Lily let her hands wander down his back, finding his ass, muscled and pounding into her, lightly grabbing his hips until she found a pace that would get her there, and a few pumps later, she felt herself convulse again around him.
"Baby, yes—" James moaned loudly. "That's it. I'm—"
He didn't need to finish the sentence; Lily felt him come, continuing to ride her as she moved through the aftershock of her final orgasm.
James dropped his head into the crook of her shoulder, lightly kissing it as he caught his breath before rolling over, making his way to the bathroom where Lily could hear the water running. Shortly he came back over with a towel, tending to her, cleaning her up, before pulling her back into his arms. Lily knew she'd hate herself tomorrow for succumbing so easily, for feeling so satisfied and secure here, with him, the man she had sworn she was firmly over.
"Stop thinking, Lil," James said, as if he could read her thoughts.
"I'm not—" Lily started, but James poked her side, making her let out a small laugh.
"You are. Stop it. Over analyze it tomorrow, over breakfast with me, okay? Sleep for now," James said sleepily, kissing her head, and Lily found herself nuzzling into his firm chest.
"Night, Jamie," she said, allowing herself to be overtaken by sleep.
But there would be no breakfast the next morning. To her surprise, Lily woke to an empty bed, James' side cold.
Confusedly, she wandered down to the kitchen, where she saw a brief note on the kitchen table.
Got called into work, it stated in James' familiar scrawl. I'll owl you later.
There was no signature, no mention of the night together. It was absent of all emotion, of any mention of the night that had revitalized something within her she had thought was long dead.
"Right," Lily said, hating herself for feeling disappointed. Hating the way her heart sank, the way she instantly felt her confidence take a hit.
She allowed herself one last glance around the kitchen before making her way out the front door.
"Merlin, Lily, you look like shit," came Dung's voice Sunday afternoon, where Lily was camped out in her office, working on a few other client files. "You looked much better last night."
"Last night?" Lily hummed absentmindedly.
In lieu of an answer, Dung dropped a few tabloids down in front of Lily. "Front page news, boss," came his reply, and as Lily scanned the headlines, she saw pictures of both she and James, laughing, his arm around her. The headlines speculated wildly; everything from confirmation the couple was back together to those positive it was a publicity stunt on Lily's part to make her look good in light of the Carter Myles fallout.
"Well I look good at least," Lily said with a shrug, but her eyes didn't leave the picture. She looked so happy, she noticed. Her smile—how long had it been since she had seen herself smile like that? She gave herself a firm shake, reminding herself it didn't matter, not really. "The speculation isn't anything I didn't expect, to be honest."
"That's good, because we don't have time for a meltdown over your personal life. I've been tailing some of our old Death Eater pals," Dung said, and Lily felt her pulse increase just slightly. She had known this was far from over, that another move from Mulciber and company was imminent; one bad article on Moody about a botched case four years ago was merely the tip of the iceberg. She gave Dung a brief nod, and indicated he should sit down.
"No time," Dung said, shaking his head. "Filling you in, and then I'm assuming you'll want to gather the rest of the team."
"Out with it," Lily said, pressing her palms into her desk.
"Malfoy and Mulciber are meeting with five key players in the ministry. The minister, but Fudge always meets with them, the weak minded pushover," Dung said, his distaste for the minister apparent. "But they're also meeting with Merwin Block, Agatha Selwyn, Maxim Travers, and-"
"Let me guess," Lily said, mind already putting the pieces together. "Allegra Dowel."
"You got it," Dung nodded. "The inquiry panel. I'll let you put a guess in on how Selwyn, Travers, and Dowel all made it on."
"Oh, I remember," Lily recalled. "It was right after the Crouch fall out. Malfoy got his claws in Fudge who had pulled off an unlikely win last minute, pushed for a more balanced panel, saying our side had clearly overstepped and empowered Crouch. Malfoy greased a lot of palms to make sure all three evaded questions during their confirmation hearings just enough to sound reasonable, even though they are all very sympathetic to the fallen Death Eaters."
"Bingo. Which means—"
"They won't hesitate to call a full inquiry into Moody. Mulciber and Malfoy are getting ready to pull a big punch. At the very least, they want to humiliate Moody, put him on the stand and ask him anything they want. But my guess is they have bigger aims," Lily said, already rising and beginning to walk to her fireplace.
"They'll want a full dismissal. Maybe, maybe if he's lucky, they'll let him resign—"
"They'll want him fired," Lily said. "He has bad blood with a few of them; Block likes him, Fudge is intimidated by him, but the other three—"
"I'm going to apparate to Harper's, get her in here immediately," Dung said, making his way to the door. "You'll floo Adella?"
"Yep. War council," Lily said dryly, mind going 100 miles an hour, plan already formulating.
"War council," Dung said, nodding back at her.
Monday began a full frontal assault from LE & Associates, unlike one Lily had waged in years. There had been other clients over the years that had required an offensive strategy, but it had been a year since the last one. Lily preferred to hold back, stay in the shadows and take her time. Analyze, calculate, then strike only as forcefully as needed to get her desired outcome.
There was a reason the sorting hat had considered her for Slytherin.
But when needed, she could go bold, and if Mulciber and Malfoy were going to have the audacity to force an inquiry, she'd strike more forcefully than necessary.
And so what if some of her aggression had something to do with having not heard from a certain messy haired, Auror ex-fiance of hers. She decided channeling her energy into work was a much healthier alternative than waiting by the window for his owl to appear. Because whatever was happening or not happening between them, Lily Evans did not pine.
In the spirit of not pining, Lily went to the gym bright and early Monday, only to find James was not there. Nevertheless, she used his code, ran her 5 miles at a personal best time, and then popped over to the ministry to meet with Merwin Block, the only member of the inquiry panel Lily had any faith in. The man was old, very old, but still sharp as they came. He was totally bald with round glasses that made him look owlish, and on more than once occasion had been amenable to Lily approaching him for information or to put a little pressure using his influence to help her clients.
"I know why you're here," he said as soon as he opened his office door. "I can't stop it."
"Merwin—"
"Evans, I like you, I do, and I like Moody, but Mulciber and Malfoy will have the votes—"
"4-1?" Lily asked quickly.
"I think 2-3. Fudge will side with Moody because of all of his efforts during the war. But the other three—"
"I know, they have their position on the board because of Malfoy. Any wiggle room on any of them?" Lily asked, but she knew it was a lost cause.
"You did not hear this from me, Evans—" Merwin started, and gave Lily a warning glance. "But Dowell may be moveable. But it's a longshot—"
"Got it," Lily said, rising to her feet. "I'll see myself out."
"Be careful, Evans. Tread lightly on this," came Merwin's warning as Lily rushed out of his office.
She gave him a quick nod, and then was gone.
Tuesday saw a full investigation into Allegra Dowell, along with a visit to Travers and Selwyn, which accomplished exactly nothing, as they were as an anti-Moody as Lily had predicted, but Lily deemed it necessary to at least try to apply some pressure in the form of Dung and Adella each respectively dropping off a file that contained plenty of dirty laundry on both of them; it was underhanded and definitely unethical, but Lily didn't care.
"So we're going nuclear then?" Harper had asked as Lily had outlined this part of the plan.
"This is not nuclear," Adella answered. "Nuclear would be putting this—" she motioned to Selwyn's file, which contained statements from her last three male assistants—all young, very attractive assistants, mind you—about exactly how they got their jobs, "in the papers."
"That's not even nuclear," Lily said quietly from her seat in the conference room. "There are things about Mulciber that make that look minor. We're getting close, but we're not there yet."
Tuesday night found Lily drafting up a short note to James, only to change her mind. Upon tossing the letter in the trash, she felt an old flash of something—regret, hurt, confusion—but quickly turned her mind to other things. She tossed and turned in bed for two hours before rising at three in the morning and going to work.
Wednesday saw files dropped off to each member of the ministry panel, all including several of the highlights of Mulciber's crimes during the war, with some purposefully withheld; Dung had argued to put it all out on the table, but Lily held back. There were things she needed to do, people she needed to speak to, and was aware she very much needed to warn James before she revisited that aspect of her past, and although she knew the time was getting closer, that Mulciber would likely force her hand, she simply could not allow herself to reach out.
Not when she could still feel his hands, his lips, his tongue—
But more importantly, and much more fresh in her mind was his absence from bed the next morning, and the silence since that said a thousand words.
So she redacted parts of the file, telling herself it was strategy, even as she knew it was avoidance.
Wednesday also saw the first headline in the newspaper, a leaked story to Marlene McKinnon that Mulciber was attempting to use his influence at the ministry to push out Moody, as well as some anonymous sources commenting on how unfit Mulciber would be to take on the role due to his own criminal past. Lily had also managed to get a positive story about Moody in, too, specifically regarding his arrest and conviction rate of former Death Eaters, with a line slipped in about how said Death Eaters were former associates of Lucius Malfoy and Darrien Mulciber. It was subtle, but didn't take a genius to make the connection.
Just enough to spark the public's interest, but not enough to cause full scale outrage; not yet.
It was a warning shot, an attempt to get Mulciber to back off, to alert him to the fact that Lily knew exactly what he was doing and exactly what she would do if needed.
"Where is the public opinion poll numbers?" Lily called out to Harper as LE & Associates gathered late Wednesday night at their favorite pub. The owner was an old friend of Adellas, who saved them a little alcove that afforded the team some privacy when they needed a change of scenery from the office. It was not uncommon for all of the employees to work late, and while Lily usually encouraged them to leave at reasonable hours, when they were in a full scale war, like they were now, it was very lucky indeed that none of them had families or serious relationships waiting for them, Lily mused, pulling her hair back into a knot at the base of her neck.
"Definitely distrustful of the ministry," Harper answered. "Moody's numbers took a dip when the Longbottom story came out, for sure," the younger girl continued. "But nothing massive. The ministry wants public outrage, but it's pretty contained to just those that were anti-Moody to begin with. But—and this is good for us-" Harper said, "when you look at those that were relatively indifferent or ignorant of Mulciber and Moody before this week there's a definite switch. People are one, more knowledgeable about what's happening, and two, not thrilled with it. Again, no major outrage, other than those that already had strong opinions, but the spark is catching."
"So we're winning?" came Adella's question.
"In the simplest terms possible, yes," Harper answered.
"But we haven't won yet," Lily said. "Because all of this means nothing if we cannot sway the opinion of the only three people who actually control Moody's career."
The team was silent for a beat, and Lily allowed herself to feel exhausted for just a moment.
"Well, its good enough news for another round," Adella said, rising "I'll buy."
"I'll help carry," Lily agreed, rising to follow Adella out of their little alcove. The two women put their order in and waited as the bartender filled it, allowing themselves to chat about anything other than work for a few minutes.
Lily was nearly relaxing, when she caught wind of a conversation behind her that made her go stiff.
"But the papers all say he's back with Evans," came a female voice, sounding incredulous. "You did not go out with James Potter."
"He's not back with her," another voice returned, and Lily could hear the smug satisfaction in it as her eyes snapped to Adella's instantly, the other woman honing in on her with laser sharp focus. "Or if he is, he had no qualms about meeting me for a drink last night."
"I don't believe it," the first voice said. "I was at the gala. They looked completely in love—"
"Trust me, he's definitely not. He probably just feels bad for her. I mean, it's a bit pathetic isn't it? The two break up only for her to be socially exiled for years, and then come out as a mistress? So tacky. He probably just went with her as a favor for her image…"
The woman trailed off as Adella cleared her throat, causing both women to look in their direction. Both flushed, but the one Lily assumed had been James' date raised a brow in her direction, staring boldly. Lily hated that she had to admit the woman was very attractive.
"We'll just go grab a table," the friend said, pulling James' date away, but Lily heard them attempt to stifle giggles as they turned to leave.
"Don't take it to heart," Adella said after the pair had left. "You don't know anything for sure."
Lily shrugged. "I mean, we had sex and he ghosted me. So I do know that for sure."
Adella gave her a calculating look. "Lily—"
"It's fine," she said, plastering on a fake smile. "It's good. We probably just got caught up in the moment and he thought he had caught feelings again, but once we hooked up, he got me out of his system. It makes a lot of sense."
Adella heaved a sigh. "Have you tried reaching out? Maybe he's confused—"
Lily shook her head. "Let's get back to work," she said, motioning to the drinks that had arrived moments ago.
"You don't have to do this, you know," Adella said. "You can be sad. You can be honest. I have eyes, and I saw how you are with him. I don't think he's the only one that caught feelings again."
"I really don't know what you mean," Lily said, but could feel her cheeks heating slightly.
"Just consider this," Adella said, cutting Lily off. "You called it off, yes?" She paused as Lily nodded. "You probably hurt him, quite badly. So if you want him back, it's going to be on you to fight for him."
"I don't—" Lily started weakly, but Adella silenced her with a shake of her head.
"You have to let someone back in eventually, Lil. I get it, I do. You know my divorce left me a mess. And it's okay if you don't want to open up to me, but you can't keep pushing everyone away forever," she gave Lily a soft smile. "Just something to think about."
Thursday morning dawned bright an early and Lily found herself once again starting a note to James, Adella's words heavy on her mind. "James," she started, "I'd like to clear the air," but ultimately threw that draft in the trash, along with several others. She simply didn't have time, she told herself again, especially when she was asked back to Merwin Block's office, who told her Travers and Selwynn were getting nervous, displeased with the mounting public pressure, but not enough to call it off, not yet.
Dowell, on the other hand…
"She's furious," Block said.
"Good, then they won't have the votes—" Lily started.
"Not with Mulciber. With you," Block scolded. "I told you to go about this carefully."
"And I did. I haven't approached her, other than to drop off information about Mulciber, which if she ever did her homework about who she sided with, she would have probably already known—"
"She doesn't like that you went to the papers!" Block said, his voice cutting through.
"Then she really won't like what comes next," Lily said. "She can be furious. I really don't care. If she's more enraged that the story went public than the content of that story, then she deserves what's coming next," Lily said, standing.
"Evans—"
"Look. We dug into her. She has a track record of being a follower, even when her statements contradict her vote. She always votes with either Selwyn or Travers. Those two will vote against one another, but Dowell always votes with at least one of them. Pretty much nothing I could have done would have switched her vote. She may not like Mulciber, but she was going to vote the way the other two did, regardless."
"Most likely," came Block's admission.
"Okay. Then she needs to know standing by them is the quickest way to ruin her own reputation and standing in this society. Pass this on to her, would you?" Lily said, handing Block an envelope, the contents of which included Dung's findings of all three of Mulciber's proponents on the panel. "If I don't get an owl by tonight that says the inquiry is dead, exact copies of each file will go to my sources at the Prophet, Witch Weekly, The Warlock Times, Brit Witch Daily…"
"Evans, I don't like that you've put me in this position," Block said.
"Then don't deliver the warning," Lily shrugged. "If they want to take Moody down, I'm taking them all down with him. And I can't promise the fallout won't come your way, Merwin."
"Evans—"
"Tell Dowell to owl me," Lily said. "And tell her there's more. Much more coming her way."
Upon leaving Block's office, Lily apparated back to her own office and attempted to do work on other cases; the Moody case was becoming all-consuming, and she had two quidditch players she desperately owed some PR attention to, which is how she spent a tense afternoon, constantly watching for an owl she was becoming more and more suspicious would not arrive.
She had just gotten the envelopes ready to send on to her contacts at the papers when finally, finally, Audra came running in.
"Lily," Audra said, her face frantic. "Post for you."
Lily took the envelope and opened it, bracing herself for Dowell's response.
What she saw instead knocked the breath right out of her.
Evans,
Tsk, tsk, threatening blackmail on my inquiry panel? The letter started. The tone alone did not scream Allegra Dowell.
I thought you were smarter than that. What you have on them is nothing. Especially when I have Sara Kent and Anthony Myles, as well as Barty Crouch so ready and willing to speak about you.
Might want to get over to Moody; he's likely being served with an official notice to appear for inquiry regarding the torture of Frank and Alice Longbottom right now. I think you'll also find a certain restraining order has been lifted. So nice that we can be friends again now, isn't it?
Your move,
D. Mulciber
Lily allowed herself to close her eyes and give in to the wave of emotions that overtook her for approximately thirty seconds. For thirty seconds, she remembered how it had felt, being in that room, tied down, Mulciber leering over her, touching her, whispering disgusting things to her, about her. She let the rage hit, the powerlessness, the hoplessness reach her, just for a moment.
And then, she opened her eyes and met Audra's worried gaze.
"Get the team together. We're going nuclear."
Then: James
It had been three months since he had seen Lily. Three months since she had gathered her belongings and left.
Three months since he had heard her voice, had seen her face, had any indication she was alive and well.
He hoped she was, he mused, as he sat at a small pub in Diagon Alley. Because he was not. Not by a long shot.
For a while, he had written her letters. At first, he had implored her to change her mind and come home. When those remained unanswered, he had switched and asked if they could meet up to talk, to try and reconcile things between them. When those were ignored, came inquiries into her wellbeing, assurances he wasn't angry, just concerned, and his desire to have any contact with her at all.
Earlier this week, he had written another one, asking for closure. Because it seemed there would be no reconciliation, no hope of moving past things, not even a possibility of a fresh start, together. So he had asked her to tell him to move on, to tell him to let her go.
He hadn't received a response to that one either, and maybe the lack of answer was the only answer he really needed.
At least, that's what he told himself. Or, maybe it was Sirius who had told him. Could have even been Remus or Peter, to be frank. But he was going to accept her lack of response as his closure; his sign he needed to leave well enough alone.
Which is why he was here, in this pub, on this night.
It was a set up; Amelia Bones from work had a friend of a friend who she thought would be perfect for James, and so, he was going on a first date, his first first date since Lily at the beginning of 7th year.
He fluctuated between extreme nerves and utter indifference because, if he were honest, he didn't think he really wanted it to work out, not really. There was only one woman he wanted to date and he had not seen or heard from her in three months.
James let out a frustrated groan and rubbed his eyes, dark mood threatening to overtake him.
"Well you certainly know how to greet a girl," came a cheery voice from his right.
James opened his eyes, turned, and offered the most charming smile he could.
"Sorry, long day," he said, standing to greet his date. "I'm James."
"Tori," came the response, and James felt immediately disloyal for noticing she was pretty; really pretty. Tori was dark haired with tan skin, bright brown eyes, and a dazzling smile, with two rows of perfect teeth.
"Shall I buy you a drink?" James asked, motioning to the waiter.
"I'd love that," Tori said, gifting him another beautiful smile and sliding into the booth across from James. "I'm excited to get to know you." And she seemed like she was being sincere, that she really was excited to get to know him.
And while she definitely wasn't Lily, would never be Lily, she was here.
He offered her a smile, and told himself he was going to try.
Two days after his date with Tori, he had yet to reach out to her to invite her out again. His mates were highly annoyed with him, especially when he had told them the date went well, that she was very pretty and that he might be interested in her.
"So you asked her out again, right?" came Peter's question that evening at James' cottage where the four had gathered for poker and beer. None of them were particularly good at poker, but it gave them an excuse to see each other once a week, especially as careers and lives had gotten busier and busier over the last few years.
"No," James had responded as if it should have been the most obvious thing in the world.
"Why not?" Remus had groaned.
"It's obvious, isn't it?" Sirius had chimed in. "He's waiting on Lily."
All three had sighed or groaned.
"What?" James asked, looking at each of his mates. "You guys love Lily—"
"Of course we do," Sirius said, and Remus and Peter nodded. "You know we do. And we loved you two together."
"And," Remus continued, "If we thought there was any hope you two might get back together, we would never encourage you to move on."
"But," Peter took over, and James was now highly suspicious the three of them had planned this conversation, "she has cut herself off from you and us. I saw McKinnon last week—"
"What's Marlene got to do with it?" James asked. Marlene and Lily were best friends, and the six of them had all been close the last few years.
"Lily's been staying with her," Remus said, and then gave Peter a nod to continue.
"She's not wearing her ring, Prongs. McKinnon said she took it off in January. And—" Peter hesitated and looked at Sirius.
"Oh fine, I'll get it over with," Sirius said. "Lily's had a couple of one night stands. Nothing serious, but she's putting herself back out there, it sounds like."
James sat, stunned for a moment. The silence around the room was deafening, as each of his friends took in his reaction. For his part, James felt frozen, as if his heart might be breaking all over again, because despite the fact that he had suspected, had known even, deep down, it was over, this felt so final, so finished.
"Prongs—" Sirius started, but James shook his head.
"She can do what she wants. She's single, right?" James answered, but his voice was strange, forced even. He let out a sigh. "Let me think on it, okay? I'll think about reaching back out to Tori."
Sirius and Peter both looked like they wanted to press the issue, but Remus clapped him on the back. "I think that's a good idea. Live with this new information for a day or two, then decide what you want to do."
"Let's get sloshed first, yeah?" James asked. "I don't want to think anymore tonight."
The next morning, a very hungover James was awoken way too early by an owl at his window. Grumbling, he opened the window, allowing the owl to drop off its letter and then make its exit.
Tearing open the envelope, he saw a very familiar set of handwriting, along with an equally familiar engagement ring.
James,
Marlene told me she saw Peter, and pointed out I've been shit to you. That I owe you at least something after all this time. I know sorry isn't what you want to hear, but I owe you an apology. I've been so caught up in my own grieving process that I haven't been fair to you. You deserve so much more than that from me.
You asked for closure, and so here it is.
I love you, really I do, but I do not see a way for us to come back to each other. I wish I did, really I do. But right now, I simply do not think love is enough.
I want you to take the ring back; please don't insist that it's mine. It's a Potter family heirloom and should be back with the Potter family.
Please don't wait for me anymore. I know it's hard, but it's time for both of us to move on.
Wishing you the best,
Lily
Sitting back on his bed, rereading the note for a second time, James heaved a deep sigh. Embracing the utter numbness that consumed him, he forced himself to put both the letter and ring aside, and made his way to his desk and grabbed a quill and parchment.
Tori, he wrote.
Fancy a drink later?
-James
Trigger Warnings: Sex scene to start the chapter until the first break. Additionally, at the end of the "Now" section, Lily receives a letter that causes a brief flashback to her kidnapping and assault by Mulciber. Nothing is stated or relived explicitly, but it is pretty much impossible to miss. Please consider skipping if this will cause harm to your mental well-being.
