Trigger alert: Talking about Rape, no graphics.
IT'S CHANGED (SNILY)
CHAPTER 25 The wretch and the doe
There was total silence in the library for a few moments. The wind blowing up from the window, filling in the room and washing through their hair, were the only sounds heard. After a while Lily thought of breaking the tense silence with a grumbling noise in her throat and all the faces turned to her.
"I talked to that wretch. Arrogant till the core, even more than Potter was. She says she was with you earlier, Shane?"
Shane didn't even move a muscle. He kept his head bowed down, fixedly staring at the table. "We were" he whispered so low that everyone almost missed it.
"And she must have told you all nonsense about him, didn't she?!" Selene snarled.
Lily looked hesitant. "S-She did"
"But what did she do?" Severus asked, almost trying to escape Selene by dissolving in the chair.
"She was everything I would have loved" Shane smiled sadly. "But perhaps, I wasn't good enough. A filthy half-blood who couldn't stand her standards"
"Shane!" Selene thundered. "You won't say that ever again!"
Shane looked at her. "Accept that, Selene"
Selene came and sat on the table in front of Shane, taking his hands into hers. "You still believe that?"
He kissed her hands and smiled genuinely. "I don't care, now. I have you and I know you are not her"
She shook her head. "No" she whispered. "I know what must be treasured"
Severus cleared his throat, earning warning glances from Austin and Charm. He ignored them. "Would you tell us what exactly happened? I mean, if you can without murdering her, Selene"
Lily nudged him sharply in the ribs. "If you are comfortable, is more tactful, isn't it, Sev?"
"Yeah… Sorry" he mumbled.
Shane laughed, though tears shone his eyes. He looked at Selene. "It's the first time I'll talk about it after it happened, perhaps" he smiled. "Selene did that last time for me"
"You don't have to if you don't want to, Shane" Selene assured.
"Wait. I say, better don't any. Hearing you makes me feel like it's something terrific and it's just going to bring bad memories back" Severus held his hands out.
Shane shook his head and chuckled. "It's fine"
Selene nodded, slid down from the table and sat beside him, taking his hand into hers. He smiled and faced Lily and Severus again, who sat straighter, readying themselves for the tale.
"She was my friend, T-Tvora. It grew and we started dating. You know, girls are mad behind me" he tried to joke but Selene glowered at him for it. He winked at her and continued.
"So, she didn't know that I was a half-blood until then. She is a Pureblood, I tell you. She took it as me daring to look superior to others and an insult to her standards. My place was supposed to be in her shoes according to her and I had forgotten that fact"
He paused and took a deep breath. "I should have been punished. She being rich and with contacts, got a… a Morsus Draught" his hold tightened on Selene's hand. "I was given that very easily. I was a fool, after falling for her, I wouldn't even have suspected a single thing she gave me"
He looked at Selene once and then lowered his eyes. "I was… raped then"
Lily and Severus gasped and reached out for each other's hands. This all was reminding Severus of the summers that he wanted so desperately to forget.
"Every touch gave me pain in my whole body that was unimaginable to me" Shane whispered and a few tears leaked his eyes. "The draught must be given a drop for torturing but she dropped the entire vail in the drink…"
Selene took a sharp deep breath, grabbed her hair and turned to the window. "He was to be kept levitated for the whole day to keep from feeling pain" Selene's voice was thick. "Even the light breezes made him scream"
Severus and Lily didn't know what to say. They felt numb. They simply sat there, with their mouths agape.
"Why do you think it took him so long to believe that I wouldn't do any such… cruelty?" Selene turned to them.
Shane laughed. How could he always? "And you gave me time"
"Obviously, why do you think I didn't say that I loved you…" she blushed and turned to the window again.
Shane laughed again. "I love you back, Selene"
Charm cleared her throat, earning a glower from Selene. "So, moral of the story, that our Shane and Selene are together and everything's fine, now"
Lily and Severus relaxed a little. They had no idea how low that wretch was. That is when the bell to the first class rang.
"We need to get to classes now" Austin prompted, getting up.
"Ah… and, Severus, Lily, please, keep away from her as much as possible. I wouldn't want you to be hurt in any way too" Shane requested.
"Of course" Lily assured.
"I don't blame Selene to murder her now" Severus pointed.
Selene ruffled his hair. "If I get the chance"
Shane looked at her pleading. "Selene, you won't do anything"
She gave an exaggerated smile. "I am just joking, Shane"
"It doesn't seem like you are joking" he narrowed his eyes.
"But I am" she gave an evil laugh, making him shake his head.
Lily shifted, uncomfortably. "If you don't mind me asking. Did she lose her virginity with you, Shane?"
He laughed and shook his head. "She is a pureblood. You never know. But I certainly wasn't the one to take it"
Selene narrowed her eyes. "I am still a virgin, though"
Shane gasped, mockingly. "Who was able to resist you, Selene?!"
Selene's lips twitched. "You, for one"
Shane gasped once more and kept a hand on her thigh. "You want me to take it away?"
"People!" Austin said loudly. "Not here! We have a class to attend"
Shane and Selene broke apart, flushing. Why did they forget every time that were in pubic?
Lily and Severus left the place muttering about, 'this wouldn't take long' and 'they'll be there in a lost classroom one day'.
*Page Break*
Peaceful. The bubbling of the liquid of the potion. The voice of the twirling stick on the brim of the cauldron. The juice gushing out of the fruit he was cutting with the silver knife. The glistening shine of the knife. He sighed satisfactorily. It was all breath-taking. He paused. After Lily. He smiled. Nothing could destroy his peace now. Lily working just beside him and the class, thank Merlin, doing their work without unnecessary noises.
But when he was enjoying something, things don't remain the same.
BANG!
All of them jumped. The door of the classroom had slammed open by a little kid.
"Yes, Miss Greengrass?" Slughorn asked.
"Ah… sir, all the champions are called for the photograph. So, Severus Snape and James Potter are called too"
Slughorn turned to both of them. James looked happy with the idea while Severus looked ready to curse the girl to disturb his peace.
"They'll come after the class is over, Miss Greengrass, that is another one hour" he said and eyes James' fallen face while Severus' relaxed one.
Greengrass shook her head. "I am sorry, sir, but the champions are called now"
"Fine, then, they'll go and come back again here"
Greengrass wriggled her hands. "Umm… sir, they'll take long there…"
Slughorn gave a slight huff. "Very well… boys, pack your things and go for the champion pictures"
Severus practically threw his things in the bag in annoyance, making Lily snicker with amusement.
"What, now, Lily?"
"Nothing, Sev, get the champion pictures clicked" she winked.
"I don't even like that title" he complained. "See you later" and he walked out with Potter and Greengrass.
Greengrass turned around to them and grinned broadly, walking backwards now.
"Aren't you both excited?!" she squeaked, making Severus flinch and James, beam.
"I am" James said.
"And you, Severus, aren't you?" the little girl frowned.
Severus looked down his nose at her. "No. I. Am. Not"
She drew herself back in fright.
James shook his head. "You can stop doing that. She is just excited"
Severus' gave him a very thin smile. "I see that"
"You are a Slytherin. What do you think about him being the fourth Champion?" James asked Greengrass.
She beamed. "I love it" she dropped her voice to a whisper. "He looks like he can even give a good fright to a dragon but I know he'll win"
James raised an eyebrow. "You think so?"
She nodded her head vigorously. "He will. I know he will try to do this all the time though"
"Do what?"
"Scare us firsties" she said as if it was obvious. Severus rolled his eyes.
"Does no one have confidence in me?" James gave a mock- hurt look to her.
She laughed. "You are a Gryffindor, silly. You are impulsive and stupid, no offence though, it's just the truth"
James gasped and Severus laughed. "Even she knows that you are stupid, Potter"
"It's easy for a Slytherin to win" Greengrass held her chin high.
James straightened. "I am between two Slytherins. Obviously, there's no one on my side now"
They got to the classroom and Greengrass left while they walked in, where Elias Amedee and Fidanka Ivet were already standing, whispering something in each other's ears.
They both approached them.
"Ah… you two are here" Fin smiled at them.
Elias took an involuntary step back, just after seeing Severus standing there.
"We are" James greeted them cheerfully while Severus just a low grumble from his throat.
Fin shook her head. "You don't have to make that face. The pictures won't be good, you know"
Severus rolled his eyes. "As if they are going to be good, anyways"
"Don't underestimate yourself" she winked and he frowned. But he didn't get the chance to ask anything further.
"Well, well. Who is here?" a woman came to them, smirking. Her hair was twisted in rigid curls and she had a heavy-jawed face. She wore jeweled glasses and her thick fingers were ending with almost two-inch long nails, painted crimson, that were clutching a crocodile-skin handbag.
Ludo Bagman and Mr. McFarlan followed her back and smiled at the all the champions. The woman turned to them. "May I borrow one of your champions for an interview, Mr. McFarlan?" she batted her eyelids.
"Certainly, Miss Skeeter" McFarlan said. "If it doesn't take too long, because we have the wand weighing too"
"Wand weighing?" Severus and James muttered nervously. What did that mean?
They all ignored them. "Then I'll not take long with young Severus" Skeeter smiled exaggeratedly at Severus.
"Me? Why?"
"Because, people need to know about the story of the fourth champion" she hummed.
"I am not giving any interview" Severus stood resolutely, but she pulled him with her, with some unexpected strength, he couldn't have guessed she possessed.
She pushed him in a broom closet, following him behind. His face showed horror.
"Why did you bring me here?" he spoke weakly.
She was adjusting the buckets upside down, for them to make place to sit and then pushed him on one. "So that we are not disturbed"
He inched farther from her. While she took a quill and a parchment from her bag and threw it in the air. She cleared her throat.
"I am Rita Skeeter, a reporter from Daily Prophet…" she mumbled. "Just a test" she told him.
He saw the quill moving on itself and producing ink on the parchment, writing…
Attractive, blonde Rita Skeeter, twenty-five and her savage quill have punctured many inflated egos…
"This is absolutely not what you said" Severus pointed out.
"Never mind that" she waved her hand and then cleared her throat. "So, Severus how do you feel after being chosen as one of the champions?"
"I did not put my name in the Goblet of Fire" he stated calmly.
"Let's try another question" she waved her hand again. "Now, how do you feel about the tournament?"
Severus frowned at the quill that kept on writing something when he hadn't even said a word.
A handsome, charming, dark boy, who has come out to be our fourth champion has no haughtiness over his fame and celebrity status…
"Ignore the quill, Severus and answer my question"
"Uh… I feel that the tournament is dangerous and idiotic. I am not in favor of this and am not pleased to find my name forcefully being coming out of the Goblet" he stated keeping his chin in the air.
"Very well" she didn't look satisfied by his answers at all but she smirked at her quill. "Now, tell me how do you feel about the tasks ahead? Hmm?"
Severus smirked, good time to irritate her even further. "I am chilled out"
The quill scratched further…
His face turned ashen when asked how he feels about the approaching tasks but his eyes shone with courage and determination…
"What the hell is it writing?" he peered further in the parchment where the quill was writing.
"I said ignore it, Severus" Rita Skeeter rolled her eyes. "Now, how did your mother feel when you told her about this?"
He shook his head. "I haven't written to my Mum"
Rita Skeeter nodded, smiling and looked into the parchment.
He feared to worry his mother over his well-being and safety and so, he didn't tell her any of the situations that were working his life up. But as soon as the news reached her, she was terrified for her young son, who had been chosen to be great. But also, she looked proud for her son's achievements…
"I said I have NOT written to my Mum yet" he was getting annoyed by the stupid quill now.
She dismissed his statement. "Is it your father that made you so desperate to prove yourself?"
His eyes widened. "What are you talking about? My father?"
Young Severus' muggle father's torture and strains on him mentally, made him desperate to prove his worth. He had to show him that he possessed the strength to overcome the obstacles of his life and reach the pinnacle…
"What is it writing?! I haven't even said anything?!" he shrieked.
"Severus, Severus. Just answer my questions" she said that was not at all comforting. "So, how does your father feel about this?"
"How am I supposed to know?! He must be lying somewhere drunk…?!" his hand flew to his mouth. He couldn't believe that slipped his tongue. The quill had already made it all looked as if he needed pity and he made it just worse.
The quill started scratching furiously, on the parchment.
When he was asked about his father's life with him, his face twisted in internal agony. His eyes dripped down painful tears remembering all the torments. He says that his father is a drunk who have never cared for his family…
He got up. "I am leaving. This quill is making everything up!" he shoved the door open and came face to face with Dumbledore.
"Ah… I was just waiting for you both" he said pleasantly.
Severus huffed and walked past him.
"Yes, Severus, you are back…" Ludo Bagman clapped his back. "Now, Mr. Ollivander will be checking your wands"
Severus turned his neck, and realized that he had missed the old, worn-out face of Ollivander standing just there. Behind whom Karkaroff and Madam Maxime were ready too.
Ollivander gave his eerie smile to them. "Mr. Amedee if you'll bring your wand here"
Elias stepped forward and gave a bluish-silver wand to him.
Ollivander raised his eyebrow while examining it. "Ten and three-quarter inches long… supple… Silver Poplar… with the core of a… Pixie wing…"
Elias nodded. He knew it was very difficult to obtain. And Severus just realized why the hell was this person so damn annoying.
"If it suits you, Mr. Amedee" Ollivander ran his fingers through the length of the wand and then gave it a swish saying, "Natura Tua"
The wand blew golden sparks in Elias' direction, filling the room with chilly warmth. Ollivander smiled. "In excellent shape, Mr. Amedee" he handed the wand back.
"I will always be amazed by your qualities as a Wand Master, Garrick" Dumbledore complimented.
Ollivander bowed slightly, as much his old back allowed him to. "It's always a pleasure, Albus" he gave his eerie smile. "Now, Mr. Potter if you will"
James produced his wand from his robes and handed it over.
Ollivander smiled. "One of my own, I wondered when I'll see it back. Is now yours, Mr. Potter, of course" he brought the wand close to his eyes. "Ah… yes… pliable… eleven inches… Mahogany… and a core of… a unicorn hair… the unicorn was rather a proud one, I was the first one to get a hair from his tail… and excellent for transfiguration…"
Severus made a teasing noise in his throat, gaining a glare shot by James.
Ollivander checked for any bumps or holes in the wand but found none. He swished the wand sending a blaze of small fiery string, circling James and then disappearing. "Is perfectly alright, Mr. Potter"
James took it back and went to his original place to stand.
"Miss Ivet, if we can see your wand, please" he called out for Fin.
She glided past everyone and handed the wand over.
Ollivander hid the distaste from his face. "One of Gregorovitch's made wand… he has a different style of making them… this one though…"
He held it close to his nose, sniffing on it. Smell can tell him about wand too?
"Twelve inches… a branch from a beautiful oak tree… inflexible… oh my…"
"A core of Hippogriff feather, yes" Fin smiled.
Ollivander looked astonished and if Severus guessed it correctly, a little jealous too. He held it in front of her. "Give it a very low swish, Miss Ivet"
She took it questioningly and gave it a swish that made the room's air suddenly feel too heavy that it even weighed on their shoulders, but then it disappeared.
Ollivander nodded. "It is well for use, Miss Ivet" he searched for Severus' face. "Now, your turn, Mr. Snape"
Severus suddenly felt too self-conscious about his wand. He took it out and propped into Ollivander's hands hesitantly.
He smiled taking it, feeling proud of something perhaps. "Another one made by me. How I remember making it from getting the heart-string of a very bad-tempered female dragon to rubbing the last stroke on it. I burnt half my hand for that heart-string and had to left in St. Mungo's because of it…"
Severus' eyes widened. He had never known the history of his wand.
"… thirteen inches… made for an excellent dueler…"
Severus smirked hearing Elias, standing behind him gulp audibly.
"… also, for many other uses that are work uniquely for you, Mr. Snape… hold your wand" Ollivander thrusted it back on Severus and he took it.
"Now, do you know how to make a Patronus?"
Severus hesitated but nodded, finally.
"Make it" Ollivander asked.
Severus cleared his throat and raised his wand. "Expecto Patronum"
A beam of silvery-blue light bust out of his wand, taking the shape of an elegant doe with almond-green eyes, that went galloping around the room before coming to Severus and nuzzling in his robes.
The eyes of others were wide with impressed looks and mouth hung open with shock and surprise.
"Severus…" Dumbledore seemed to have loss of words. "You can form a corporeal Patronus!"
"Umm… yes, sir" Severus straightened his robes unnecessarily in nervousness.
Ludo Bagman could only come and clap his back. He looked dazzled by the new-found ability of Severus.
"It'z a female?" Elias breathed.
"Well, yes, Mr. Amedee… I remember the female dragon trying to save her partner from harm and Patroni are guardians" Ollivander smiled. "The wand is in well state, Mr. Snape"
Severus blushed. Why did he agree to produce a Patronus here?
"Vow…" Fin kept a hand on his shoulder. "It vas brilliant"
James still had no words to say. He felt positively shaken after looking at the beauty of the doe Patronus.
"A corporeal Patronus at the age of sixteen… why were people questioning your abilities?!" McFarlan eyed Elias who flushed under the gaze.
Madam Maxime cleared her throat. "Now, are we going to 'ave ze pictures?" she was trying her best to ignore that Severus had just created a Patronus.
Karkaroff nodded and stepped behind Fin, keeping a hand on her shoulder.
The photographs were the worst part of anything that was going on. Rita Skeeter insisted on keeping James and Severus in the front with Dumbledore while Madam Maxime remained fixed at the very back and Karkaroff in the side. Though at the end things went fine after changing positions for almost a hundred times and everyone earning a migraine.
Then it struck Severus that he had made the Patronus in front of Rita Skeeter. He groaned at the thought. She surely would make a stupid story out of it, just like she did with the others. He just hated that quill.
Probably later he'll possess enough energy to deal with the newspaper with his name on it that will be asking for pity and nonsensical admiration.
He hoped now, no one ate his head on things because then the first thing he'll do would be to punch their faces well. He sighed.
*Page break*
Something kept on twirling in Severus' stomach the entire day, as if something had gone wrong. He dismissed it, perhaps, the first-class being potions would have caused it. The fumes made one feel different, that would be the reason.
And Herbology would just be increasing it. He wanted to go and die in his bed, right now. It was just the last class of the day, after that he was free.
"Severus!" the door of the green house opened and McGonagall's face peeked out. "I apologize, Pomona, I have to take Severus with me"
Professor Sprout nodded and motioned for Severus to leave.
"Please come with me, Severus… and Miss Evans, you may come too" McGonagall asked.
Both of them looked at each other and frowned. Why were they needed now? It wasn't something related to the tournament, otherwise she wouldn't have asked Lily to come too.
They got their things and followed McGonagall out. She looked anxious. She was even fidgeting her hands. McGonagall nervous? Something big had happened.
"Professor…?" Lily began, perturbed. "Where are we going…?"
"Ah… yes, to the headmaster" she answered distractedly.
"The headmaster? Why?" Severus' brows furrowed even further.
McGonagall sighed and pointed at the gargoyle. "We are here" she stepped forward. "Frizzing Whizzes" the gargoyle slid open.
"Enter" the voice came from behind the door.
Severus and Lily followed McGonagall inside to find Dumbledore sitting behind his table… and not smiling at all.
"Please, sit, Severus, Lily" he offered.
Severus and Lily took the seats. They just wanted to know what was happening.
"Is everything alright, headmaster?" Severus asked desperately.
Dumbledore shook his head, mournfully and Severus breath froze in his chest. He grabbed Lily's hand and looked at her pale face.
"A-Are my p-parents, alright? My s-sister?" she asked in a very low voice.
Dumbledore nodded. "They are in full health and safe, but an attack took place in that area"
"Mum?" Severus couldn't manage anymore.
"I am sorry, Severus, but your parents were killed in the attack"
He felt numb for a second before the denial taking full force in his head. "No! NO! You must have made a mistake" Severus stood up, yelling at Dumbledore.
"I am extremely sorry, Severus, but the wards around your house had been destroyed by someone from the Ministry. Nothing could have been done" Dumbledore shook his head.
"NO!" he crumpled to the ground clutching his hair tightly and breathing rapidly. His mother couldn't have… This hadn't happened.
Lily kept a hand on his shoulder, trying to offer comfort. Tears were dripping down her face. She didn't know what else to do.
Severus hastily wrapped her arms around Lily's neck tightly, as if someone would take her away from him too. He sobbed then, in her arms. He couldn't see anything other than a shattering world beneath him. He wanted to die, the hollow pit in his heart was so great.
Why his mother? What had she ever done? First his fucking father and then the death eaters.
"WHY?!" He screamed. "Why?" he whispered then.
His sobs just intensified, minute after minute, his tears soaking on Lily's robes. He didn't know how many hours were passed. A light hand came to his shoulder that he initially ignored.
"Severus" a gentle voice came while the hand pulled him away from Lily. Severus opened his eyes and looked into the dull blue one. The hand brushed the tears off his cheek, tenderly, but those kept on coming. Dumbledore. "Shh… Severus, you'll be seeing your mother soon"
He broke into another set of tears. He couldn't see his mum like that. Lifeless and dead. He wanted her alive and well.
"Albus" a voice came from the floo.
McGonagall went to attend it. "Yes?"
"You can get the boy" the voice said sadly. "It's ready"
McGonagall nodded and then approached Severus and Lily. She kept a hand on both of their backs and urged them to stand. They did, though Severus' hand never left Lily's arm.
"To the floo" McGonagall directed them and they were soon out from Lily's house, where again the environment was dull and dark.
Mr. and Mrs. Evans stood up as soon as they saw them approach. Their faces were pasty white. "Severus" they whispered.
Severus couldn't face them. He looked away and just clutched Lily's arm even tighter, he grabbed her arm with another of his hand too.
Lily shook her head to her parents, asking them not to speak.
McGonagall held their hands and gave another one to the Evans' before appareting to the place where his parents were to be buried.
The place was quiet and filled with dried trees but a huge green one stood in the middle, asking them to see the little hope than the darkness that was surrounding them. Ministry officials were standing in a corner, dressed as muggles. There were some of the other muggles, who probably had come there for his father, but he couldn't care any less.
His mother was dead and that had broken him already. He sniffled.
Then two coffins were brought in the cemetery. Severus approached them and instantly collapsed to the ground.
"MUM…" he sobbed. "Mum, you can't leave me… Mum, come back…"
Lily kept a hand on his back during his blabbering and denials about his mum's death. He couldn't just take it in.
He crawled to view her face. She looked so pale, more than usual. But she was smiling before dying, he could tell. He hoped she thought about him. She loved him. She had said that. He couldn't have been anymore grateful to Merlin for sending her to him at the King's Cross station. At least he had heard her laughing one last time. He would always cherish that memory. But he was irked to Merlin too, to take so, early from him. He would have gotten her the grandchildren she wished for.
He chuckled through his tears.
He brought himself closer to her and kissed her forehead.
"I love you, Mum… I always will… don't forget me… I hope you could have seen me become an adult… we would have moved out of that dirty house… you never would have to live there ever again… you could have seen your grandchildren… remember? You always used to tease me on that… now, who will… you are gone… left me alone here…" he choked on a sob. "I have your robes. You remember? You gave me, Mum… I'll always keep them with me… always…"
Eileen Snape nee Prince was buried soon after and the others came to Severus to part their condolences. He didn't pay heed to any, he had his face hidden in Lily's shoulder, who held her without a word of complain.
