"So." I started when my fellow prisoner joined me at the table. I didn't bother Wesker when I first got up since the man seemed to be brooding over something so I made myself some breakfast and waited instead. "You have a sister." the blond grimaced at the word. "I get that there's no genetic relation but I mean you're both Wesker children, not to mention the only survivors of the project."
"Yes well, as I stated in my letter we haven't had much contact."
"And you want to see where it goes." Wesker nodded in confirmation. "Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean who knows what she wants from you." the blond seemed to contemplate this. "I mean if she really wanted to get to know you, why wait until after Spencer was dead?"
"She was still using Umbrella resources, draining as much as she could from Spencer for her own goals-"
"That's another thing." I cut him off sharply, the look of the hardened BSAA agent on my stern face. "What is she up to? It was bad enough when we just had one Wesker running around- now we have two." sure she apparently wasn't a superhuman like my Wesker but that didn't make her research or plans any less dangerous. At least she was dying… actually I felt a little guilty wishing death on someone I knew nothing about. As far as I was aware, she hadn't done anything wrong yet and I wasn't even sure she was planning on it. I was just making those assumptions based on her upbringing and life with Umbrella and the fact that she was a Wesker. But I felt safe in my assumptions about her for two very good reasons. Albert Wesker described her as dangerous and at least near his equal in intelligence and cunning. She was not a woman to be underestimated or thought to be innocent until proven guilty.
"All the more reason for me to continue contact to figure that out." he wasn't irritated with my interruptions, in fact he barely seemed to notice me anymore. He was leaned back in his seat, arms folded across his chest and his eyes fixed on one spot on the table. He was thinking pretty hard about this, no doubt going over all the different possible outcomes to this to try to find the most beneficial route. The only benefit I saw to it was that he could probably figure out what she was up to and turn her in but I couldn't hope that he would actually do that. And he wanted me not to report this? The only reason I hadn't already was because I decided I would at least hear him out first since he actually trusted me with this… even if that put me in a tight spot.
"What if she wants you to help her with whatever she's working on?"
"That's entirely likely." was all he offered so I groaned in irritation. I guess I was lucky he was still bothering to even talk to me right now since he would usually be silent in his planning… did that mean he wanted my help planning what he should do about this? That… wow, I didn't even know what to think about that. I mean I was happy that he wanted to involve me in his life like this but again, this information put me in a really awkward position. I wanted to keep his trust but I couldn't not report this. What do I do?
"Would you do it?" he didn't answer for some time but I didn't press, understanding that he most likely wasn't ignoring me but probably still thinking it over.
"Perhaps." he finally stated and my eyes narrowed at him though he never looked away from that spot on the table… he was staring so intently it was starting to get a little creepy. "I am about to burn every other bridge I have." then his calculating orange eyes turned to me, studying and evaluating.
"Stop that." I snapped and surprisingly his gaze did turn away from me. "You were the one that decided to talk about this now." I reminded him as my arms folded over my chest protectively. I fucking hated when he did that- it was like he was dissecting me and it made me very uncomfortable.
"That decision may have been premature." he sighed, almost disappointed and it made me feel a little subconscious. I always did hate when he was disappointed in me but I did nothing wrong. If he started a conversation he wasn't ready to have that was entirely on him.
"I thought you said you trusted me-"
"I do." his words were quick, his eyes suddenly locked to mine. "I don't hesitate because I don't trust this information with you. I hesitate because I know you're still loyal to the BSAA and I understand the position I've put you in."
"I thought it was on purpose." I countered and he sighed, taking to looking at the table again.
"Only partially." he admitted though didn't lay out his intentions with the test though I could guess. "I do wish to simply talk about this with you but there are other aspects I must take into consideration."
"Like whether I'll reveal Alex's existence to the rest of the BSAA." I stated but he didn't acknowledge the comment which told me it wasn't quite right. It would be nice if he would correct me and let me know what he was thinking instead of making me guess. But that would never happen. He was already aware of the risk of me telling that there was another Wesker before he gave me the letter since he had included that while he didn't want me to tell, he understood that I might. So that wasn't the hold up but it was definitely on the right track and it had to be something that would directly affect himself. "You're burning all the bridges you have with anyone else so you're planning to turn to her. You have a hidden place to retreat to and she has help with whatever she's working on, it's a win-win situation." he was narrowing his eyes at me with an accusatory edge now but I ignored it. He must underestimate how well I know him, he gave me enough to figure out what was stopping him. It had nothing to do with Alex and everything to do with the fact that should he escape and disappear again, I would know exactly where to start the search for him. We stared each other down for a short time, him upset with my correct reasoning and me refusing to just drop the subject. Then he sighed and looked away from me again. I watched him and waited for him to retaliate in some way but he didn't. "We don't have to talk about all of it, I just want to know more about Alex and what she's doing right now. I can't just drop it, this is some pretty serious stuff Wesker." I reminded him but he didn't acknowledge me. Geez him throwing a fit wasn't cute at all. "If you don't want me to talk then give me a reason not to."
"Me simply asking isn't enough?" he seemed bitter and I rolled my eyes. Him asking for anything was a big deal and I knew that but this was even bigger than that. I would tell the BSAA eventually without a doubt but I needed a reason not to tell them right now.
"Not for this." I told him and he looked me over again in that way I hated but I allowed it this time so he could hurry and make up his mind. I was just glad he wasn't stonewalling me anymore. I know he can express not even body language when he didn't want to so the fact his guard was still down enough around me that I was getting that was appreciated.
"She's entirely focused on extending her own life." he finally stated, his eyes softening from their critical glance. "She wants to escape her weakening body before it withers."
"And that means…?"
"She's not doing anything harmful to others, at least not as far as I'm aware." he explained and I nodded, content with that for now. Like I said, I would explain all of this to the rest of the BSAA eventually but if she wasn't planning anything nefarious then I'd give Wesker a little more time.
"So… the virus might have given her an incurable illness while you got superpowers." I shifted the focus of the conversation away from whatever plans he may have that he wasn't willing to talk about yet.
"It's unclear if it was due to the virus or not but really she should just be grateful to still be alive. She knew the risks and injected it anyway." he snarled a little as he said that last part.
"Didn't you willingly take the virus too?"
"William gave it to me, claiming it to be of his own creation specifically engineered to my genetics. His whole pitch was rather clever and I trusted his research so I didn't question it nearly as much as I should have." he explained. "Alex was in charge of making sure all thirteen candidates received the virus so I hold her partially responsible for William lying to me about it. Not that I ever trusted him completely but I was still furious to discover he had betrayed me and aided Spencer in manipulating me. Had I known it was something Spencer's people concocted I never would have taken it, not without first analyzing and testing it myself."
"Then you may never have gotten your superpowers." I joked, trying to bring back the lighter tone this entire day had so far lacked but it only seemed to irritate the man further. I hadn't realized I'd been neglecting my food this whole time so I took another bite.
"I never needed these abilities to get ahead in life, everything I've done could have been achieved as a human." he stated boldly and I snickered with a shake of my head.
"You would've been dead a few times over." Wesker raised a skeptical eyebrow at that. "Like that time I dropped a bunch of steel beams on you." I stated smugly and he rolled his eyes.
"That entire fight would have gone much differently had I needed to take human limitations into account. Besides I admit to most of that time being me showing off my new power since you had yet to witness it." there was the playful smirk I wanted. I smiled at him with a small shrug of one shoulder.
"Yeah and you wonder why I bulked up like I did."
"I thought you said it wasn't for me?"
"Maybe it was a little." I winked at him and his smirk broadened as he hummed to that. But I was still eating so neither of us pursued anything from it. "But you would have been dead even before then because of your death at the hands of 'the ultimate lifeform'." I teased with a mocking tone and chuckled at the hardened look he gave me. Even after all these years he was still salty about how I laughed at his favorite science project, more like his abomination creation.
"Tyrant did end in failure, I accept that, there's no need to rub it in." he almost pouted which made me laugh around the food in my mouth, nearly causing me to choke. He was glaring at me with reddened eyes but in the context it wasn't at all threatening since he was just throwing a fit, this one much cuter than the silent treatment from before.
"Okay, okay, I'll drop it. It was very scary at the time." I soothed him so he removed his glare from me.
"You're only saying that." he finally unfolded his arms and leaned forward to rest his forearms onto the table, his hands clasped. This was a much more relaxed position for him and I was glad for it. "Knowing you, you probably continued to insult it even to its face and somehow managed to survive it with little trouble as you irritatingly do so often."
"Yeah… yeah I did actually." I nodded as I remembered how I screamed at it for killing Wesker, hurling vulgarities at it and I'm pretty sure I called it a test tube freak at some point. "I wouldn't say it was an easy battle but it did have an obvious weak point." he only sighed and I knew he was probably thinking about how he could have made it different. As the pause in conversation stretched, I couldn't help but relive witnessing the death of my captain and I suddenly lost interest in the rest of my breakfast. "Maybe I am just saying that though…" I muttered as I poked at the little remaining food in front of me. Wesker looked at me with interest though there was still annoyance at the declaration. "I don't think I was ever actually afraid of Tyrant, I just remember being so pissed off."
"Because I created it?" the blond questioned when I didn't continue but I shook my head.
"Because it killed you." now his expression held only interest for more information. "I… I think the scariest thing about that night was watching you die but after that I was so full of rage for the fucking abomination there was no room left for fear." Wesker's gaze was on his hands and I could see the thoughts whizzing through him. I don't know what he was working through but his mind was preoccupied so I tried to give him a minute but there was another question I needed to have answered. "What… was it like to die?" finally he sighed and returned his attention to me. He opened his mouth to answer but stopped himself and went back to thinking. Knowing him, I could put together that he had a readied or dismissive response but decided he wasn't going to give me that bullshit. Though also knowing him, that didn't mean I was going to get the truth.
"I would never think to share this with anyone but you Chris." Wesker stated and my eyes widened as my body shifted to fully face him in my chair like a kid getting a surprise present. He was going to tell me the truth and from his hesitance I knew it was something he didn't like to admit even to himself. This was Christmas. "It was frightening." he stated slowly as if battling the words from his mouth. Now this wouldn't usually be a big revelation, everyone was afraid of death in some way but… I guess it was really surprising to hear that even the indestructible Albert Wesker was afraid of dying. "I will never forget the cold, dark fingers of death reaching out for me. I could do nothing, the helplessness I felt was overwhelming. The virus I injected just beforehand brought me back from the brink of annihilation as planned, however, I always fret the day those fingers manage to capture me." he explained and I nodded idly as terrible images came to my mind. Wesker laying bloodied and lifeless on the cold concrete… that giant hole in his torso. I'll never forget the fear I felt that day as I checked his pulse and pretended I wasn't crying over a traitor. Then it hit me and my heart dropped like a hundred ton weight.
"As… planned?" my voice wavered as it forced its way from my throat. "You dying… was planned?" my voice was stronger now, a harsh demand.
"Of course, that death was a necessary component of the big picture." he stated and my eyes widened with hurt and anger in equal measure. "Did you really believe I would awaken such a dangerous creature then stand directly in front of it without ensuring it was fully tested and obedient?"
"I… I didn't know what to think." he… all this time and he knew. "All I knew was that you were dead!" I raised my voice as anger overtook the grief I felt. I stood, abandoning my food so I could pace to try to vent some of the rage boiling my blood. Wesker raised a brow at my actions. "Don't fucking look at me like that! You know what you did!" I yelled at him as I continued pacing, my hands involuntarily balling into fists.
"Afraid not." he stood to be on level with me, folding his arms as he studied me. "Why are you so upset?" I froze at his words. He really didn't know. Unbelievable.
"Why?" I repeated as I stepped closer to him. "I watched you die!"
"Yes, someone had to witness it so it would be reported and unquestioned." he stated so calmly like it was such a simple matter. He acted like it didn't shake me to my very core. I punched him as hard as I could, sure I wasn't going to land it but I did. For whatever reason, Wesker stood there and let me hit him. I was strong enough that the hit made him stumble back even if just barely. That was the whole reason I bulked up the way I did, I wanted to be sure that if I got a hit in- it would count.
"You planned for me to watch you die!" I hit him again and he let me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew my phone was ringing but I didn't have the mental capacity to care. "Do you have any idea what that did to me?" I yelled as I shoved him backward and he fell back onto the couch. I sat on top of him, my knees on either side of his body. "You selfish bastard! After everything you've done- this is the worst! I fucking hate you!" I screamed at him, each sentence driven home with another punch to his face and he made no move to stop me though I knew it must hurt. The anger was subsiding now and the pain was coming to the forefront of my mind. I felt tears prickling in my eyes and didn't care if he saw them. All the energy suddenly seemed drained from my body and I was already panting but now it felt like there was no air around me. I raised my bruised fist again but didn't hit him as the first tear slid down my cheek. My hand slowly lowered to lay over his chest, feeling the faint heartbeat that resided within. My hand moved a little further down to his abdomen where I so vividly recalled a gaping hole. "I mourned for you." my voice was but a whisper as I stared at my hand over his body. Quick flashes of slick blood covering each digit as I tried to hold the wound shut as if I could somehow fix it. But it was too large- bigger than my hands and it went all the way through him. I could see torn muscles and bits of his spine- I could nearly make out the fucking ground under him! And I desperately tried to fix it. I screamed and cried and begged for him not to go… because at that moment it didn't matter that he was a traitor or that he worked for Umbrella or that he set us up or that he had personally killed my friends. All that mattered was that I understood what my feelings for him truly were and he was dead.
"I truly don't understand Chris." he spoke softly as he continued to study me, one hand raising to wipe away the tear so he could examine it like it was a foreign substance. "You watched many of your colleagues die that day, what difference did my death make?" he really didn't know? I wasn't sure how I was going to answer or if I was even going to but I couldn't. I heard the locks on the front door disengaging and climbed off of Wesker, stepping around the couch to meet whoever was coming in. I should have expected this but was still surprised that it was a full team geared up and ready for a fight. Jill was on point with her gun already raised and aimed at Wesker who was now standing and facing everyone with me. I was expecting him to give his signature smirk but he didn't, he seemed lost in his head- confused and possibly even regretful.
"It's alright, it was me." I told everyone with my hands lifted in a pacifying manner. "He didn't do anything, I just got mad."
"I antagonized him." Wesker corrected as he wiped away blood from the corner of his mouth and nose. I wanted to look back at him and give him a look to ask what he was doing but I couldn't bring myself to face him… it hurt too much right now.
"Chris?" Jill asked, turning her glare from Wesker to look at me with concern.
"He's being an asshole but I can handle it. It was just a fight." I reassured her and she finally lowered her weapon, motioning for the others to do the same. All guns were lowered only to be raised again when Wesker walked around the couch to stand by my side.
"Your team needs to drill the basics again." Wesker said as he pointed behind the team though he lacked his usual cynicism. Jill gave him an annoyed look before turning around to see what was wrong. We both noticed it at the same time, the door was left open. Wesker could have escaped. I sighed and shook my head as Jill glared in accusation at the last agent in who shrank back a little. The blonde woman dismissed everyone and as they filed out, she stepped up to Wesker.
"The next time I have to come down here because you did something to Chris, it'll be to put a bullet in your head." she growled in warning to him though he showed no reaction to it which made Jill back up a bit in surprise. Normally when issued a threat the man would have a quip to it, a comeback, a returned challenge, or at least a venomous smirk. But he didn't offer any of those. Instead he glanced in my direction before looking away, still seeming lost in thought.
"Duly noted." was all he said to acknowledge Jill. She sighed, not knowing what was going on, and grabbed my hand.
"Are you okay?" she asked, concern filling her voice when she took notice of the red around my eyes. I only nodded, still refusing to look Wesker's way. "Answer your phone next time." she squeezed my hand before letting go so she could leave. "Call me if you need anything." I didn't answer, just watched as the heavy door closed and listened to the locks click and beep into position. After a moment of silence, I saw Wesker turn from my peripheral vision.
"Chris-" I didn't let him finish, instead I turned away and went to my room, slamming the door behind me.
… … …
A few hours later, Wesker knocked on my door. I ignored him at first but he knocked again.
"I only want to talk." he called through the door and I sighed deeply. I really didn't want to get out of bed. Not that I was tired or even all that comfortable, I just felt like I didn't have any energy to move with. "Chris?" Wesker called again so I forced myself out of bed. I hit the camera button before walking over to open my door a crack in order to peer out at the blond with tired eyes. He carried two mugs filled with fresh coffee. "Do you feel up to a conversation?" he asked as he gestured behind him to the couch with his head. I sighed and opened the door wider before turning around and heading back to bed.
"Come in." I mumbled before crawling under my blanket though I sat up against my headboard. Wesker entered without hesitation, handing me my cup when I held a hand out for it. Then he pushed my armchair closer to my bed to sit in. He learned how I took my coffee now but for some reason he decided to make this cup the same way I liked it back in STARS. I appreciated the comfort as I sipped it, still too hot to actually drink but I almost didn't care.
"I apologize about before. I didn't know my admittance to my plan would anger you like that." Wesker stated and sounded pretty sincere about it but I was too emotionally exhausted to be shocked so I just shrugged and stared into the light brown liquid in my mug. "I've been going over it but I genuinely can't comprehend the reason." I sighed again, deeper this time.
"I tried to save you, you know." I started which seemed to confuse Wesker, probably because he understood what a lost cause his corpse had been. "I cried over your body because I didn't want you to die."
"I'm sure you didn't want anyone to die. I can understand how you could be distraught over my death as the discovery of my betrayal was new so the feelings of comradery would still allow you to mourn for me. But you had everyone else to help you get through it, especially after learning I was still alive." I shook my head even as he was speaking.
"Everyone else thought you had it coming and it was better that way. I mourned for you on my own in secret." as I explained that, Wesker left his coffee on my dresser and got up to sit on the edge of my bed. I didn't care, I still watched my coffee. "It was terrible, seeing all my colleagues and friends dead or dying. There are still times I have nightmares about all the death and carnage I've witnessed since then but watching you die…" I shook my head again. "it shattered me for years, I don't think I ever really got over it until I saw you on Rockford- hell I'm not sure I'm over it even now." my voice had raised a little as my previously drained emotions started to resurface.
"Whether it still haunts you or not, you learned to cope with it." Wesker pointed out. "I have no illusions that you were anything but furious over what I did that night and everything after but you obviously long since accepted it. You only became hostile when it was revealed that my own death was a part of my plan."
"Exactly Wesker." I snapped, finally looking away from my coffee to glare at him. "Because your death crushed me and I was all alone in missing you and I just found out you put me through all of it on purpose!" my breathing was heavy and I again felt like I couldn't get enough air. Wesker was silent as he considered my words.
"It was also planned for the others to die yet you-"
"I wasn't in love with them- I was in love with you!" I yelled at him and watched his eyes go wide with shock and realization. I panted and fought back tears as we stared at each other. "And you intentionally forced me to watch you die." I spoke quieter now but I didn't look away even when he did. Silence fell around us as the blond took this in.
"I'm deeply sorry." Wesker finally said, looking back at me. "I honestly didn't know you felt that way for me nor what choosing you to witness my death would do to you. I simply thought you would put it aside like the others had because I betrayed you."
"How could you not know? You always know everything." I asked in frustration. I'd been so terrified back in STARS that he knew my feelings and would be repulsed by me- maybe even fire me.
"I knew you were attracted to me back in STARS but I took it as nothing more than sexual desire or perhaps a crush of admiration. All traces of that vanished during our following encounters as I knew it would because I didn't think whatever you felt for me would survive the betrayal." he explained and I pursed my lips. So he was at least somewhat aware back then. I couldn't argue his line of thought either because it was reasonable and on point.
"I didn't think it would either…" I whispered before sighing deeply. "After everything you've done I do hate you even now but…" I shrugged one shoulder, staring into my coffee again. "I don't know." I was going to say that maybe the saying 'love is blind' had more truth to it than I ever gave it credit for but I didn't want to admit that to him. I said it once, that was enough. "If you had known, would you've still done it?" it seemed a moot point now but I needed to know. Wesker sighed, not seeming to need to think about it to know his answer.
"Back then, yes, it wouldn't have changed anything." he told me and I nodded sadly though I already knew that would be the case. "But if I could change it now, I would." I peeked up at him curiously. It didn't change how things went but it at least meant something. "I understand you still care for me now but I didn't know it ran so deeply." his head titled closer to mine. "Tell me, do you still hold such strong feelings for me even now?" I didn't want to answer, I knew he could use it against me but he seemed so serious and I didn't have the energy to listen to my better judgment.
"Yes." I whispered and my eyes caught the way Wesker's lips upturned into a small smile. After a moment longer of staring, he leaned impossibly closer to me.
"Then our feelings are shared." he whispered back to me and I felt his breath on my lips as he spoke before he closed the remaining space to kiss me. I closed my eyes and kissed him back. It was soft and innocent but it lingered and left a tingling sensation on my lips. He pulled back just enough that we were sharing breath. I hadn't even noticed that I calmed down until my heart was racing once more. Did he really just say that? I mean I guess a part of me sort of knew that's where our relationship was going because he wasn't just after me sexually since he actually cared but… to imply he… holy shit. I lifted one hand to his cheek and tilted my head to reconnect our lips, this one just as soft but a little more passionate. I felt him tug my coffee cup out of my hand before he pulled away from me to put it with his so he could quickly return to me. He used one hand to grab the back of my neck to pull me in for another kiss while the other wrapped around my lower back to hold me close to his body. I wrapped my arms around his neck and inhaled his breath between chaste kisses. When he snaked his tongue across my lips, I pushed him back only enough to break the kiss while keeping him close.
"I'm completely drained." I told him as I shook my head slightly and after a moment he nodded.
"I understand." he moved away from me as if he was going to leave but I caught his hand before he got far.
"Will you stay?" I would have blushed at the request but once again, I was too drained to care if I was being childish and he was here to see it. He stared at me for a moment before wrapping his fingers around my ankle over the blanket to pull me farther down the bed. I was about to protest when he let me go to move to the new space behind me. He now sat in my place against the headboard and urged me closer to him.
"Sleep. We can talk about it more when you awaken." I smiled back at him and laid down so my head was laying against his chest. He scooted down a bit so I was more comfortable and I felt his hand run through my hair to lull me to sleep. I don't think I'd ever been more comfortable in my life and I fell asleep without fault.
~...~...~...~
I watched the woman behind the desk with a considerate gaze as she went over a report, giving me time to process all she had told me. We'd discussed the details of Project W and her involvement with it over email and a few phone calls that spanned the previous week. She even sent me the few surviving reports she still owned- a few even concerning myself. I still wasn't sure what to make of Alex Wesker. I didn't trust anyone and I wasn't about to consider her an ally until she proved useful to me though it seemed that was exactly what she was trying to do. She readily shared all information I requested, offered up plenty I hadn't, and plainly stated her intentions. She wanted to get to know me as more than part of the abandoned project and maybe we could help each other though she claimed that wasn't her goal in reaching out, just an option. I believed that at least, from what she showed me in her current works she seemed to have everything under control so it wasn't like she needed the help. I, on the other hand, was struggling with something that she seemed to have more experience with.
"I've been busy working on a modified version of the T virus for an interesting test subject." I started, gaining her attention. "However I'm not sure my team is adequate in keeping her in a stable condition until the virus is ready." I specialized in virology and chemistry based sciences, not medical practice. I had enough knowledge of medicine to be able to perform crude surgeries and save lives if I needed to, I had on several occasions but I was no medic. Saving lives wasn't what I was good at, I took them. While Alex's fields were similar to my own she knew more about biology and medicine than I did in her search to find a way to escape her health issues. She could do a better job of keeping Jill alive but I had hesitated to bring her in on something so personal. Ultimately I decided she already knew who Jill was thanks to her knowledge of my life so there really wouldn't be much explaining to do. I could give her the same excuse for why I was keeping her alive that I gave to everyone else- or none at all, I didn't owe an explanation to anyone.
"Are you asking me to take over her care?" she asked and I analyzed her for a moment to make sure she wasn't attempting to patronize me. She was pleased with herself and perhaps a bit smug but not in a menacing way so I allowed her tone to go without comment.
"I am." I confirmed as I unfolded my arms and stepped closer to her desk. "I'll send over her file along with the coordinates for the base I have her in." I told her, already withdrawing my phone from my pocket. "The security system will require your fingerprints, if you don't mind." I held my phone's screen out for her to press her finger to so the system could scan and save it. I would give her enough clearance to access Jill but that was all for now.
"Of course not Albert." she stated with a practiced smile that looked rather nice on her lips. She offered her thumb and held it to my screen until it flashed green to signal that it had successfully saved her print. I never liked being called by my first name, I much preferred for others to use my surname as it signified my authority. However it also wasn't something I cared enough about to argue those ballsy enough to address me so casually. That made her the second person still living to use my first name and I already preferred Alex over the other woman. Cooperation with Alex Wesker may prove very useful.
SO. I have no excuse for why this chapter took me so damn long to get out, I really don't. I finished the last of my school stuff finished and I withdrew from my program this week because I'm starting at a different college in the Fall with a better program for my major so I no longer have that to take up most of my day (for now anyway). Especially since I've had most of this chapter written for a veeery long time and I did all the editing for it like two weeks ago and have just had the letter left. There were plenty of times I sat down to finish it and just couldn't sooo delays and I'm deeply sorry.
Anyway did you enjoy the chapter? Huge turning point, no? Hope I made you feel the feels. Honestly I've had this written so long that it's lost its magic for me so I've nothing to really say about it. But it's great, right? Cool. Let me know what you think.
I got my second tattoo today. It's a peacock feather for my grandma, the same one on her gravestone. I love tattoos but holy fuck I had getting them, getting pierced is much easier. I compare the difference to taking off a bandaid, piercings are ripping them off with a lot of pain then it's done while tattoos are slowly taking it off with a less intense pain but the consistency of it suuucks. I'd rather rip it off and be done with it. That said, I'm done with piercings but I've a few planned tattoos so I guess I better get used to it.
