Peeta came to find her not long after and asked her if she was ready to go home. Madge and Ryen were dancing and looked lost in their own little world, so she agreed and they said their goodbyes.
"Can we escort you ladies home, Violet?"
"Your father was kind enough to offer, Peeta," Katniss's mother blushed and glanced over to where Bran was laughing with Bing. April had gone home already, complaining that the baby was making her ill and Mrs. Mellark had complained of a headache early in the evening. Peeta's brow raised and Violet cleared her throat.
"Your father thinks it's a good idea for you to go on home and rest. And he asked me for some salve for that burn on his hand. So I agreed to let him escort us home. Don't worry about us." Peeta's eyes shifted back and forth from his mother-in-law to his father and he finally nodded.
"Right. Well have a pleasant evening, ladies."
"Night Peeta," Prim said cheerfully as she hugged her sister. "Night Katty." Bran came over to them and smiled.
"Are you ladies ready?" Katniss stared at the three of them, feeling something begin to gnaw at her, that she just couldn't shake away.
"Peet, I already told Violet I would walk with her and Prim. You get Katniss home safely."
"Ok Pops," he nodded. "I'll just give my best wishes to the bride and groom before we leave." He walked over to Madge and Ryen and Katniss suddenly felt
uncomfortable, standing next to her mother and sister and father-in-law. Almost like an outsider.
How strange.
"Katniss, you sang so beautifully tonight," Bran continued to smile, unaware of her discomfort.
"Thank you," she attempted a smile. "My dad taught me to sing."
"Ah I remember. The birds even stopped to listen to your father when he sang." Katniss's eyes flicked to her mother.
"Yeah, that's what people say." Violet swallowed and stared at the floor.
"Well, we should be going. Good night, Katniss," Bran said with a nod and a smile. Katniss watched him offer his arm to her mother and Prim, as Peeta had done with Prim and her. She shook her head and joined Peeta, Madge, and Ryen. After multiple embraces and thank you's, Peeta offered his arm and lead her through the district.
His eyes wandered to the stars as they walked, his hand squeezing hers tightly. She wondered if it was because it was his brother's wedding day or because Jacobson was no longer a threat, but she noticed that he wasn't hurrying home as he normally did once the sun had gone down.
"The stars are quite stunning tonight."
"Yeah. Your mom left kind of early," she finally said, glancing up at him. He shrugged, his eyes still cast upward.
"She usually complains that her head is hurting most evenings. It's not as if she's the life of the party, anyway."
"But your dad didn't want to stay with her and make sure she was feeling alright?" He tore his eyes away from the sky and frowned down at her.
"What?"
"I just mean, he stayed around for the rest of the reception. Don't you think your mom would have wanted him to stay at home with her?"
"Not really. She likes to be alone when her headaches come on."
"Oh."
"Katniss, what's going on?"
"Nothing," she shrugged and his brow quirked. They were almost to their house when she spoke again.
"Are you not worried about them breaking curfew? Maybe you should have escorted them after all."
"Parents of the newlyweds have permission to stay out later, on the day of the wedding. They'll be just fine, love. Do you want me to call and check?"
"We don't have phones in the Seam."
"I can call the bakery and speak with Dad."
"No, then you would wake your mother up. I'm sure you're right and they're fine." Peeta watched her in bemusement as he pushed the door open and she headed toward the bedroom.
"Katniss," he said slowly as she reached back to unzip her dress.
"Hm?"
"Does it bother you to see my dad and your mom together?" She whirled around to face him, her eyes wide in surprise. He was leaning against the door, his arms
crossed over his chest and a knowing look on his face.
"Of course not."
"I think you're lying to me," he pushed off the door and approached her slowly, taking her hand. "I think it bothered you a lot."
"You said yourself his feelings for her are still the same," she said defensively. His brow furrowed slightly.
"What?"
"I heard you...talking to my mom." His eyes widened and he went slightly pale. But he shook his head and took a step forward.
"You know nothing will happen. He's married and your mother won't dishonor your father's memory like that."
"You think if your dad's feelings are still there, my mom's aren't?"
"So what if they aren't? They won't act on it. Do you think Madge is completely over Gale? I can hear the disappointment in her voice when she talks about him. I
don't think he's ever left her heart either."
"So what are you saying, that someone can be in love with more than one person? That people can be disloyal to their spouses?"
"I think people can still feel strong feelings after so many years but it doesn't mean they will do something about it. Some of us can repress those feelings for a lifetime, it seems, and have no intentions to act on them. We might feel it's just better that way. I just mean...I think there is enough room in someone's heart for multiple people. That's all."
"Why would it be better that way?"
"For a number of reasons," he shrugged. "It just might not be in both peoples' best interests to disrupt their lives for something that might not ever happen anyway."
"It depends on the circumstances, don't you think?"
"How so?" She stepped toward him and played with the button on his shirt.
"Well, your dad, for example, might not have ever gotten over my mom. But he seems to have had a good life with your mother and certainly got some good things over the and your brothers, for example."
"Yeah," he nodded, swallowing thickly as her fingers slipped the button from its hole. "And he loves Mom. She loves him too, in her own ways."
"And my mom...she may still have strong feelings toward Bran, but she had a loving marriage with my dad...she was really happy for awhile."
"Of-of course," he stammered as she trailed her fingertips across his chest.
"But say there is a boy who spends years in unrequited love, simply because he won't say anything, until one day, he's forced to speak up. And his pain is almost
pointless because that girl he has been pining for might have felt just as deeply for him as he felt for her," he sucked in a breath as he realized she had slipped the last button from its hole and her palms pressed to his bare chest.
"But because he repressed his feelings for so long, because he had no intentions, as you say, he could have deprived them both of happiness. He never gave her a chance to say what she's really been feeling." Her fingers on his chest paused and his trembling hand covered hers.
"Well, what if he gave her the chance? What would she say?" Katniss gazed up into his eyes as she chewed her lip.
"She might tell him…" His eyes bore into hers, his thumbs making gentle patterns over her hand.
"What, Katniss?" His hand moved up to her cheek, his knuckles grazing her skin and making her shiver.
"Does it really matter at this point?" He cupped her chin and leaned in to nuzzle her cheek. He lowered his lips to her ear.
"What would that girl say?"
"She might tell him... that he makes her heart race, no matter how much she tries to hide it." She released a squeak as his tongue raked along the fleshy edge of her ear. His other hand released hers and moved around to her backside. He palmed her ass, squeezing with one large hand.
"Mmhm. What else?"
"She might tell him that she knows things about him. That... she was watching him, even when he didn't think she noticed him." He reached back and fingered the zipper of her dress, which was halfway down her back. He moved to the side, his lips meeting her bare shoulder and following each piece of flesh that was bared to him. When the zipper could go no lower, he lowered to his knees and kissed the base of her spine. Her breathing hitched and he reached for her sleeve, tugging gently until the dress fell around her ankles. He kissed her right cheek, then her left before spinning her around to face him. She gasped at the look in his eyes as he gazed up at her, his fair curls tickling her stomach and the way his tongue traveled over his lips distracted her to no end.
"Anything else?"
"What," she said faintly, her mind clearly elsewhere. He was driving her to madness.
He rested his chin on her belly and smiled.
"The girl," he said softly. "Would she tell the boy anything else?"
"That she would be lost without him," she fingered his hair and he closed his eyes. "And that despite the fact that she's quite afraid of these feelings… he has found a way into her heart. To a place where no one else has ever been. And he's not going anywhere anytime soon."
"Indeed not," he kissed her stomach and his hands rested on her hips. "I'm going to stay right here and cause all kinds of trouble." Before she could speak again, he pulled her scant panties down her legs and tossed them over his shoulder. He gripped her hips and lifted her up until he was standing with his mouth buried between her thighs and her legs draped over his strong shoulders. She screamed as his tongue thrust inside her and she tried to focus on the incredible sensations rather than how high in the air she was at the moment. His arms didn't even shake as he held her writhing form still, one of his hands moving up to grasp her breast. Her palms were flat on the wall and her legs tightened around his head. She whimpered, her teeth digging into her lip.
"Nobody here but us, my love. Scream for me. I want to hear you."
"Oh Peeta. Oh my god!"
"Louder."
"PEETA!" She screamed his name to the ceiling and gripped his hair tightly as he brought her over the edge. He gently lay her on the bed and moved back but she grabbed the waistband of his slacks and tugged him forward.
"You've done that for me twice now. I need to repay the favor."
"There's no repayment, Katniss," he said softly, his hand covering hers. "I love doing that for you. It's not a chore for me. So don't feel obligated to do anything in return. That's not how this works."
"You know I'm not good at saying things," she sat up and gripped the sides of his slacks. "But I want you to stand up and take these off." He bit his lip but backed off of the bed and used his thumbs to push the pants down his legs.
"Slower," she said, moving forward on her hands and knees. "I want to enjoy this. Go slower."
"What's going through your head," he asked softly. But instead of waiting for a reply, he did as she asked and slowed his movements , baring only a bit of flesh at a time. When he had his slacks around his ankles, he kicked his shoes off and moved the pants to the side. He wore the tight underwear that she had seen and admired several nights ago, and she could clearly see how aroused he was. When he didn't move to remove them, she nodded.
"These too." He swallowed and hooked his thumbs in the material. As he started to push them down, her hands darted out to push his aside. She glanced up at him, her heart catching when she saw how his eyes dazzled in the moonlight. She lowered her eyes to his chest and she leaned forward to kiss his pectoral. His head tilted back as he released a small sigh. Every stifled moan he made echoed in the empty room as she trailed soft kisses across his chest and stomach. She eased his underwear down bit by bit until she reached his pelvis, pulling them out and down so his cock peeked over the material. His breathing became labored as she licked the tip before pulling his underwear down his legs and allowing him to step out of them and kick them aside. His hands twitched at his sides but he made no move to touch her. She cupped his sac in her palm before moving up to stroke his length.
"God Katniss," he moaned to the ceiling. She bathed him in her adoration, her hand following her tongue and making sure he was slick under her palm. His knees shook but he couldn't move. She closed her lips around him and sucked, making him cry out and his head jerked up. He suddenly pushed her backwards, covering her body with his and kissing her with all his might. She fell back onto the bed and wrapped her arms around his neck, their tongues dancing together in the most glorious dance. The way his bare skin pressed against hers made her whine, her nipples crushed against his muscular chest.
"I don't know what you're doing to me," he muttered against her lips before moving down to kiss her throat. "You transform me into something else entirely. You make all of my judgement just vanish completely."
"You talk too much," she gasped as he sucked her nipple into his mouth. He chuckled around her breast and nodded.
"Yeah, that's probably true." She had an idea of how to silence him. She sat up and pressed her lips to his, moving to her hands and knees and causing him to fall back against the pillows. She moved between his legs and rubbed her belly over his throbbing arousal. When she moved her leg over his, their centers aligned and both of them gasped in pleasurable delight. She rubbed against him, causing him to hiss at the feel of her wet folds against his sensitive skin. She could easily slide down on top of him and take him inside her.
"Katniss!"
His hands flew to her hips and she ceased her movements. She looked up at him and saw his flushed face was covered in vulnerability and fear. Whether it was fear of rejection, fear of the act itself, or something else entirely, she didn't know. She moved down to kiss him, to assure him, and her hand closed around his cock. She moved her hand up and down as quickly as she could, tightening her grip and drawing out his guttural moans. He tried to lift his hand, presumably to cup her breast or touch her between her legs but she was determined to have one minute where he wasn't making it about her. Where he could selfishly enjoy her attention and not worry about anything but himself and how she was making him feel.
So she held him down by the wrist and captured his lip with her teeth. He grunted and groaned loudly as his hips jerked and she felt something warm and sticky cover her hand and her stomach. His head fell backwards as his entire body trembled with the aftereffects of his release. She leaned down to kiss him and he released a tiny whimper, something most men would be too afraid to let a woman hear. But Peeta reached for the back of her head, pulling her in for a rough kiss, not caring about something so insignificant as breathing. When they broke apart, he pressed his forehead to hers, doing everything he could to remain connected with the woman his heart was racing for.
"Let me get you something to clean up with," he muttered shakily.
"I can get it." He tried to protest but she climbed off of him and went to the bathroom. Peeta ran his fingers through his hair, trying to catch his breath before she
returned. He stared at the ceiling, his hands gripping his hair and he willed his heart to slow down before it gave out.
She quickly washed her hands and brought him a warm cloth. He reached for it but she shook her head and gently wiped him clean before moving it to her stomach and wiping his cum from her skin. She tossed it toward their discarded clothes and she curled up into his side, propping her head on her hand and trailing a finger down his cheek.
"Holy shit," he sighed, his eyes fluttering closed. "I think you've killed me. Truly. I think I'm dead and an angel is touching me."
"Not even close," she snorted.
"You're right. That definitely was not angelic, what we just did. And you, my huntress, can still shock the hell out of me."
"I love seeing you that way," she confessed and he glanced up at her. "The way your eyes get so dark I can hardly see the blue. And the way your teeth dig into your lip," she gently stroked his lip with her fingertip. "Those sounds you make. It's all so...exhilarating."
"I know what you mean," he nodded. "I mean, I spent years dreaming about what you look like and sound like and...taste like. God that makes me sound like such a creep," he sat up and draped his arm around her shoulder, her cheek resting against his chest. "But, nothing could have prepared me for what it's like in real life.
What you're like. My dreams didn't do you justice."
"I'm nothing special, Peeta." He cupped her chin and leaned down to kiss her.
"I'm usually fairly good with words but even I can't summon of a word to properly describe how incredible you are." She flipped onto her stomach and rested her chin on his chest. His hands went to her hair and she closed her eyes. She now wondered, based on his reaction, if she was not the only one who wasn't quite ready to go all the way. Or was he just afraid that she wasn't?
"Katniss?"
"Mmhm?" He pulled his hand away and her eyes opened at the loss of his fingers in her hair.
"Will you sing for me?"
"Now?"
"It's just… when you sang earlier… I can't describe it. You seemed to take me away to a different time and place with your voice. It's pure magic. I just want to hear it again."
"Alright." She sat up and mentally went through the songs her father had taught her.
On one evening long ago when the sun was sinking low
My true love went to sail upon the sea
It was in the month of June when the roses were in bloom
When he took me in his arms and said to me
You're a flower blooming in the wildwood
A flower blooming there for me
Sweeter than the morning dew and I'll soon return to you
You're a flower that is blooming there for me
Then a letter came to me from a captain on the sea
And it told me that my darling was dead
Oh the shock and great surprise, made the teardrops in my eyes
When I thought about the last words that he said
Now he can't return to me, he got drowned in the sea
And he's passed over life's weary way
When it's in the month of June and the roses are in bloom
It seems that I can hear my lover say
You're a flower blooming in the wildwood
A flower blooming there for me
Sweeter than the morning dew and I'll soon return to you
You're a flower that is blooming there for me."
When she finished, he stared at her for so long she wondered if he was upset by the words. But he scooped her into his lap and kissed her forehead.
"That was heart wrenching," he muttered. "It was beautiful, don't get me wrong. You could probably sing the words to a Geology textbook and it would be captivating. But the lyrics are so sad."
"Dad didn't teach me very many happy songs. I guess I never stopped to question it before."
"Well thank you for the song. Your voice gives me strength." He closed his eyes and heaved a great sigh.
"Let's take a shower." Her brow furrowed. He looked like he was about to say something but then he suggested a shower.
"Ok," she shrugged and followed him to the bathroom. She felt a little awkward at walking around naked, but he didn't seem to think about it as he pulled the shower curtain aside and turned the water on. He grabbed a towel from the shelf and handed it to her and she cocked her head in confusion. He wrapped another one around his waist and motioned for them to sit down.
"This is the only way I can know for certain no one can hear us."
"What do you mean? Your house is bugged?"
"I don't think it is but I don't know for sure. The Mayor warned me that it might be." He took her hands and exhaled deeply.
"Katniss what I'm about to tell you has to stay here in this room. You can't even tell Prim, alright? She would be in a lot of danger if she knew anything."
"I understand," she nodded. He knew she would never do anything to put Prim's safety at risk.
"I'm not really sure where to begin," he scratched the back of his neck, looking uncertain.
"Just...tell me what's going on, Peeta."
"I'll try. A lot of it is pure speculation. And I'm still trying to figure out a lot of it myself. Something big is happening in Panem."
"You've said that before. What is happening?"
"Rebellion," he lowered his voice even more. "The districts are angry with the Capitol and are rising up. Snow is deploying more and more Peacekeepers to the districts to maintain order. That's why he has been kidnapping boys to put through the program. Rye and I were the only ones from an outlying district, other than Shuck, who came from 11. The boys usually came from 2, though some were brought from 4. A few from 7. Not many past that. And I say boys because that's what they...what we were. Kids taken from their homes to be turned into monsters," he took a deep breath and she cupped his cheek. Her touch seemed to give him strength to continue.
"Anyway, as I've already told you, I showed dedication to my training just to get back here to you. Duartyr liked me and said I showed real promise so he made sure more of the higher ups noticed me too. I still don't really understand why Snow noticed me, that part is still a mystery, although the Mayor has a few theories but he isn't sharing them with me right now. Most likely, though, it's just that I'm from 12."
"But did Snow ask to speak to Ryen?"
"No, he didn't," Peeta said, looking uncomfortable.
" Ok. So the Mayor is a part of the rebellion?"
"There are a few here in 12 who are...believers in the cause. And the Capitol would view it as rebellious activity. I wasn't aware of it completely until I started work. Darius convinced me to reach out to the leader and they asked if I would attend a meeting. It seems that they want me to be a spy when we travel to the Capitol."
"Does Thread know what they have asked you to do?" He shook his head.
"I don't know how he could. Jacobson didn't really know anything and was just speculating when he started naming names the other night."
"Yeah, he said Darius and Ryen were involved," she said thoughtfully. "Which, I guess, they are?"
"Ryen and I… let's just say our training was a bit out of the ordinary than the rest of the soldiers." He looked uncomfortable for a moment and rubbed his shoulder.
"We were treated differently because of where we came from. They tested us to see where our loyalties were. And I really… I don't want to go into it tonight. I promise I will tell you everything that happened, Katniss, but I just can't tonight." He shuddered and squeezed his eyes shut, as if he was fighting off bad memories. She reached out a tentative hand and caressed his cheek. His eyes shot open for a moment before they fluttered closed again and he nuzzled into her palm.
"So anyway," he cleared his throat, looking anxious. "Darius heard about our training and he thought we would be the most interested in hearing what… the District 12 leader had to say. He is trying to get me to go to their meetings."
"Who is the District 12 Leader?"
"I'm afraid I can't tell you just yet," he said softly. "Not because I don't want to! But because he asked me not to reveal his identity until we know it's safe." She huffed but she understood. Names were better left unsaid right now.
"Alright, fine. I have a feeling it's the Mayor anyway. So you haven't been to a meeting yet?"
"Until a few days ago, I wasn't even sure if I wanted any part in this. But with everything that has happened… Gale's arrest, Cray's murder, Jacobson's torture… I'm just so tired of it, Katniss. I don't like the way things are in Panem. I never have but as a soldier, I learned to supress my feelings toward it. Marrying you though… it's made me see how unfair things are and how terrible it is if we are just sitting around talking about doing something instead of actually doing it. You've made me realize that something needs to be done, for our future and...for future generations." Her eyes widened and he cleared his throat, looking everywhere but at her.
"I didn't," her voice came out as a squeak and she cleared her throat. "I didn't do anything, I mean, I haven't done anything to make you realize something."
"Hearing how you grew up," he said softly, pulling her hand to his chest. "I watched you, Katniss. I saw how skinny you were. I snuck you food, hoping it would help but it didn't. I was terrified that I would lose you. That day with the bread… I knew you were dying. I was afraid that you would die right there under our tree. That's why I took that beating. I would do whatever I could to help you. And it's not just you. Going with you to the Seam, I see the way people live. It's not right. It's not right that little Posy looks at food like she can't believe it's right in front of her. It's not right that we have to watch children fight to the death every year. Our way of life has grown much too cruel and we need to do something about it. That's why I told them I would join the rebellion."
"If anyone finds out, they will kill you for sure."
"This has been going on much longer than you think. The Mayor told me he attended meetings when he was just a boy."
"If it's been going on this long, why hasn't anything been done yet? Why has it taken so long?"
"It took our ancestors nearly twenty five years to get the first rebellion started, Katniss. And that war raged for almost ten years."
"And look how it ended! District 13 was destroyed and the Treaty of Treason was established. 12 districts serve the Capitol and are left to starve to death. What good did that ten year war do? What good is rebellion when nothing will change?"
"Maybe if it wasn't just twelve districts fighting against the Capitol," he said slowly, "the districts might stand a chance." Katniss frowned.
"There's no one left, Peeta. Didn't you pay attention in history class? The country fell into ruin, effectively destroying itself with war and disease and overpopulation-"
"And what was left of the country was divided into thirteen districts and a Capitol city," he finished for her. "Yes, I remember my lessons. What I'm saying is that if there was another district, one that specializes in nuclear weaponry, and they rose up… we might be able to defeat the Capitol this time."
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Peeta froze and his eyes widened. He jumped to his feet and turned the water off, before grabbing her hand and running down the hall. The banging on the door continued and they could hear muffled voices.
"Peeta," she said quietly, her eyes trained on the front door.
"Stay here."
"No way!"
"Katniss-"
"I'm not some damsel in distress, Peeta!"
"No but you are naked," he looked her up and down.
"So are you. So I hope if whoever is on the other side of that door is here to arrest us, they will give us a chance to put some clothes on." Peeta shook his head and grabbed his rifle from the hall. Katniss wished she had thought to grab her bow but she remained by his side as they approached the door.
"Peet," he heard muffled yelling.
"That sounds like Ryen," she said uncertainly.
"Peeta, please," another voice said, much higher and full of tears. Peeta yanked the door open and gasped. Ryen was supporting a nearly unconscious man, while a young woman with a tear-streaked face clung to his arm.
"He's lost a lot of blood!"
"Come inside." Peeta gestured them in and closed the door tightly behind them. Katniss noticed two things immediately: red hair and what looked to be a steady
river of blood.
"We need my mother."
