I was comfortable and warm but lacking. I think my body knew on an instinctual level that there was something missing because despite having woken up on a pillow most of my life, I wasn't expecting the softness it provided. I was confused by the expectation of something firm under my head but as my thoughts caught up with me… that's how I went to sleep, wasn't it? Laying on Wesker. So… where was he? I slowly sat up and scanned the room for him as if he would be there watching me sleep. I spotted him outside my open bedroom door, sitting on the couch with a book in hand. His orange eyes turned to me as if sensing my gaze and he offered something of a smile and I returned it despite the bit of hurt I felt over him not staying with me all night. He set his book down on the coffee table and stood, entering my room without permission or hesitance and I didn't mind.

"Good morning." he greeted as he sat on the edge of my bed and I sighed as I laid back down.

"You didn't stay." I pointed out rather than return the pleasantry.

"I was kicked out a few hours ago when Jill's shift ended." he corrected, not seeming at all phased by the subtle accusation my tone held. I blinked at him in confusion which he smirked at in amusement. I rolled my eyes and pushed his arm away from me in retaliation but it just amused him more. He leaned closer to me and I unknowingly held my breath in anticipation but… he didn't kiss me. He grabbed my phone from where it rested on my other pillow and straightened again. I blushed and tried to hide my disappointment but of course he wasn't going to just let that go. "If you want something, you need simply ask." the blond bastard teased and I glared at him through half lidded eyes. I wasn't going to ask for a good morning kiss from him, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. Rather than get defensive or deny that I wanted anything from him, since I did, I would just take it. I grabbed the front of his shirt and urged him closer to me. I saw his smug smirk falter in surprise but he obliged me by leaning down to kiss me. His lips were gentle, almost questioning on mine but I liked it. It reassured me that he was still just as unsure of where we stood as I was.

After pulling out of the kiss, we stared at each other for a quiet minute as we contemplated each other. This wasn't the situation I was trying to create, I wasn't ready to talk about what happened last night- I just wanted a kiss. I hadn't really had time to process everything for myself, I had been too exhausted both physically and mentally- let's not even get started on emotionally. I really wasn't used to this much emotional stimulation in my life, it was really taking its toll on me. I wish I could say I didn't have to overthink such a… confession but this was Wesker- confessing to… feelings. I don't think either of us would ever use the word but there was a sentiment here that was being danced around. It was a serious thing- not something to be taken lightly in any circumstance even in the normal world but definitely not in here and especially not between us. There was a lot to consider before acting on anything that happened last night.

I saw the moment in his eyes when Wesker decided something but he never said anything… was he waiting on me to bring it up? That was nice but I really didn't want to… not sure I could. I tore my gaze from him and he sighed, the kind of disappointed sigh I used to be familiar with. Back in STARS I used to think it was the worst thing in the world but now that I knew this man much better, I could detect the traces of fondness there. Like he thought I was an idiot but he couldn't expect me or anyone to be on his level of comprehension and at least found it enduring. I wasn't sure whether to be flattered or offended.

Then he sat straight again as he handed my phone over to me so I took it, glad for the distraction. No sooner had I opened my main display, Wesker stood to leave my room and I felt myself slouch in disappointment before I realized that I was even feeling that way. Whatever though, he could do what he wanted. He said he was kicked out so I checked my call logs first but there wasn't anything new there so I went to my messages instead to see a conversation with Jill I didn't have so it must have been Wesker texting from my phone.

Jill: Wesker
Jill: I know you can see the messages popping up
Jill: Answer me
Chris (W): Yes?
Jill: What are you playing at
Chris (W): Surely I don't know what you're talking about.
Jill: I might not know what was said but I know it was pretty damn important
Jill: Say something
Chris (W): I believe it was.
Jill: Well
Chris (W): I'm not going to tell you.
Jill: Of course not
Jill: There's always something with you
Chris (W): I think there's a phrase 'don't kiss and tell' that can be applied here.
Jill: I saw the kiss so you don't need to tell me about it I wanna know what was said
Chris (W): I'm still not telling you.
Jill: You hurt him again and I will not rest until you're dead for real this time
Chris (W): Yes, yes. You'll be down here to put a bullet in my head yourself. Message received.
Jill: Good now get out of Chris's room my shift is ending
Chris (W): Why do I have to leave?
Jill: Look I'm not sure if Chris wants anyone seeing just how close you two have gotten
Jill: It'll just be easier if there isn't any immediate explaining to do if someone else sees you two right now
Chris (W): There are cameras everywhere, I'm sure everyone knows.
Jill: The live footage is monitored around the clock but no one goes through the recordings unless there's cause and so far there isn't
Jill: So no it hasn't gotten around too much yet
Jill: And until Chris tells me that he's fine with it being public knowledge I'm going to try my best to keep it as private as possible or as long as possible
Chris (W): You're a good friend.
Chris (W): Although your logic is highly flawed.
Jill: Wow thanks
Chris (W): Regardless I will go.

That was the end of their conversation and oddly enough it made me a bit happier to know that he didn't willingly leave me, he even argued a little which showed maybe he didn't want to. I stopped myself from smiling and my eyes flicked up to the camera in my room to see that the red light was on indicating that it was recording. Guess Jill's effort to keep our rela- closeness… on the down low just went to waste. Did she not know that we've already made out and such while she wasn't on camera? So even if it wasn't completely out there, it was already more spread than she thought. I would have to let her know it was fine. It wasn't like I was proud of being like this with my enemy and wanted it to be known but I also wasn't ashamed of it or wanted it hidden. I couldn't really say 'it's as simple as that' because nothing is ever simple when it comes to Albert Wesker. Whatever was happening between us was happening now and I'd rather not do something than keep secrets. If I felt strong enough against it to want it hidden then I just wouldn't let anything happen instead of hiding it. Putting it like that makes it seem like I know what's happening and that couldn't be farther from the truth.

I rolled over to turn the camera off before getting out of bed to stretch my aching body. I had a headache probably from crying, still wasn't used to doing much of that and I didn't really like how much of it I'd done already since being in here. It was probably the headache that kept me from thinking about anything that happened or was said last night. I wasn't sure if that was a relief or an irritant yet. Maybe a cold shower would help me wake up and sharpen my mind to at least a more aware state. It did and oddly enough one of my first cohesive thoughts had been in regards to the toy hidden under the sink… and what I had done with it… and what I wanted to do again. But I pushed those thoughts aside and quickly finished my shower.

Not as helpful as I'd been hoping but I at least came to a sort of conclusion about what I was going to do about last night. Nothing. I acknowledged what was said and I was even really happy over it but I wasn't willing to confront it or say anything like that again. I was confident Wesker would never actually say it nor would he want to go more into depth about what emotion he discovered in himself. I was content to have it known between us without expanding into it further. That didn't mean I wouldn't act on it, I had already decided I was going to be with him regardless of whatever might happen and this only made that decision sweeter. So I would say nothing had changed but of course it had- everything had. But they'd changed in an unspeakable yet comfortable way. I didn't have to wonder anymore about a lot of the things I'd been overthinking because pieces fell into place. Sure there were other aspects I still wondered about but I didn't feel like they were such a big deal anymore.

Wesker had feelings for me that traced back to our STARS days just as I had feelings for him even back then too. The difference was he only realized it recently after discovering he couldn't bring himself to kill me and I realized it after I watched him die then fought and denied my feelings. There was of course the possibility that he was just leading me on and lying about all this but I knew there was at least some truth to it, there was too much pointing to it even back in STARS that made sense now. There was just no way that even Albert Wesker was playing this kind of game for so long, especially since he had genuinely wanted me dead for so long and had expected me to be dead long ago. There was no way for him to know what would have become of us this far into the future to have planned this so long ago and set up a long term plan. And if this was a play it was an extremely stupid one since he lost so fucking much and gained only… me. I really had to genuinely mean something to him if that was the case and I saw no other motive. Everything he's done lately has been about me or for me. So yes, I trusted what he said and for more reasons than I just wanted to. Even if this was a play, there was still truth in it.

Wesker cared about me.

… … …

We were sitting on the couch watching some TV show, something edgy Jill recommended saying it was an old favorite. I used to be a TV kinda guy, always loved a good action movie and regularly had my TV on when I was at my apartment in Racoon City even if I wasn't actually watching it. But then shit happened and I found I didn't really like action movies anymore. Even after the Air Force and during STARS I liked the unrealistic nature of the shows where the good guys always won and the bad guys always got what they deserved and paperwork was never something they had to sit through. But after the mansion incident the optimist in me was killed and I couldn't stand the careless nonchalance the actors portrayed the heroes with. Good guys suffer, good guys sacrifice themselves for the good of everyone else, good guys get hurt and carry their scars in so many ways, and good guys don't always win… sometimes the bad guys get away. There was also the fact that I'd witnessed and directly experienced so much action and horror that I didn't want to spend my free time living more of it. I didn't make time for movies and such anyway, I focused on work because I needed to feel like I was making a difference. I would carry the world's scars if it meant innocent civilians didn't have to. I was never accused of having a life and my wife was the job.

I even explained some of this to Wesker when he asked me what was wrong since I apparently looked depressed. He was quiet for a moment, probably thinking about his role in making my life as dark as it was. Then he shared that watching TV wasn't something he was familiar with growing up since television was still mostly for news and other important stuff when he was born and was still in the process of changing into the media sensation it became when he was a kid. Either way it was a 'meaningless activity' so he never much indulged in it.

"Oh my god you're so old." I laughed and he narrowed his eyes at me before using the hand that rested on the back of the couch to smack me upside the head lightly but it didn't stop me.

"I'm not that much older than you." he countered as I settled down. I rotated on the couch to lay down so my head was on his lap and I looked up at him.

"Thirteen years is a lot." I said and he rolled his eyes.

"Our ages don't matter."

"I didn't say they did." we stared at each other for a considering second before the blond leaned down to kiss me. It was soft and chaste but I stopped him from sitting straight after it was over and kissed him again, deeper this time as my fingers tangled into his hair to hold him in place. His tongue rolled over mine and soon I was sitting up onto my knees next to him as he turned his body to face me. The kissing continued, hands traveled, my shirt was removed. I wasn't sure how far I wanted to go right now, I wanted to have sex with Wesker but his promise of what else we could do for hours before that was so enticing. There was so much to do and we had the time to do a lot but we wouldn't be able to do it all at once. So the question was, where to start?

But then of fucking course my phone rang.

"Ignore it." Wesker demanded against my lips and I made no argument as I locked my mouth over his. I let the phone go to voicemail as my hands pushed Wesker back flush against the couch, one of my knees swinging over him so I was straddling his lap. He hummed his approval into our kiss, his hands sliding up my sides and back before raking down with his nails. It hurt even though he was probably being gentle about it but it also felt good in a strange way that went straight to my groin. I pulled my mouth from his so he could hear the pleased groan he wanted from me. "You're something of a masochistic, aren't you?" he teased and I replied by biting down on his neck as hard as I could. He grunted more annoyed than pained so it wasn't as satisfying as I wanted and I wondered how much he actually felt it. I was pleased to see that there was a mark when I pulled away though I was sure it would heal too quickly to enjoy later.

"Cheater." I grumbled and he only smirked before moving his lips to my collarbone, tracing over marks he'd left on me before that were still healing.

"I don't find pain enjoyable but if you want to hurt me you're more than welcome to try." he said it with that damn smirk and I glared at his challenge. My phone buzzed with the notification of a voicemail and I sighed as Wesker rolled his eyes.

"I'm just gonna check what's going on then I'll put it away." I told the blond as I turned to grab my phone from the coffee table.

"Why must you always interrupt our fun for anything else?" he growled at me as I unlocked my phone and called my voicemail. I pressed my lips to his to shut him up as I held my phone to my ear to listen. He reacted well to this, his hands at my back squeezing me closer to him as he deepened the kiss. I had one new voicemail just made. I moved to kiss and bite at his jawline, moving down his neck over the same spot I'd abused just before which had already healed much to my irritation. I'd have to make him eat his words and hurt him so much during 'our fun' that he learned to like it. Not because I enjoyed hurting people, even him, but mostly purely out of spite.

"Hey Chris, I just got the report on what happened with Irving." Jill's voice spoke though she sounded tired. I sat up and stopped my teasing which had Wesker glaring at me but I guess the serious look on my face stopped him from making a fuss about it since he could tell there was something going on. "They're not gonna send it to you since it's work related but I can at least tell you what we learned from him." I had actually somehow forgotten all about Irving, the black market contact Wesker had prematurely given up as a way of giving me some way of doing something about what happened with Claire. With that in mind again, I leaned forward to give the older man a quick kiss of appreciation though I doubted he knew what for. "So call me when you've got some time." the voicemail ended so I moved my phone from my ear to delete it. I wondered why Jill was still up, she should be at home asleep rather than going over reports but I guess she was always as dedicated to the job as I was though she was more balanced about it.

"Irving?"

"Yeah." I stared at my phone for a second then turned my gaze to Wesker then back to my phone. He groaned and put his head on the back of the couch as his hands slid down to rest comfortably on my hips.

"Just call her." he told me, accepting that we were already interrupted but all I could think about was how vastly exposed his neck was for my lips. I couldn't help it, I bent to run my tongue from the collarbone up his neck to the spot behind his ear and he shivered at the kiss I placed there which made me chuckle.

"Did I find a sweet spot?" I mimicked his words in a low whisper against his ear before running my tongue in a lazy circle over the spot and he growled at me but made absolutely no move to stop me. I wondered how used to this he was. I knew he'd had a lover before but it wasn't out of genuine interest in her so was there any of this foreplay? Did he even actually know what he liked? Well I intended to find every little sensitive spot his body had, learn all his reactions to what he liked and what didn't get him going as well. I wanted all of him. He grabbed my chin to force my mouth back onto his and I didn't complain.

Wesker moved his hips in an upward motion so I could feel his hardness and I moaned in longing into our kiss. Then I scooted higher onto his lap to keep the pressure on both our erections. Suddenly his hands were under my ass and he was lifting me as he stood up but before I could react, he turned and dropped me lengthwise onto the couch. I wasn't sure what I was going to do when I opened my mouth to speak but it caught in my throat when I saw him above me. Glowing red eyes watched me hungrily even as he took off his shirt, dropping it carelessly and getting onto the couch below me. His hands seductively touched my knees and slowly spread my legs to make room for his body between them. My face heated up much more than it had been previously as I processed what was happening and I felt my pulse in my… everywhere- my chest, my throat, my ears, my fingertips. I was still incredibly nervous but I wanted this- I wanted him.

"I should… call…" my small voice muttered, still clutching onto my phone but my fingers easily relented when he took the device from me to toss onto the coffee table.

"I don't think so. You lost your opportunity to back out this time." he commanded in a low dangerous tone that told me I'd crossed a line of turn on that couldn't be easily turned off… and fuck was it sexy. Desperately my hands gripped at his arms to pull him closer to me and once his head was within reach, one hand grabbed at the back of his head to pull him on top of me to force his lips on mine. I didn't care where his lips were as long as they were on me. I guess I had crossed a line too because seeing the raw need for me in Wesker's inhuman eyes did something to me and now every move I made was frantic and uncaring of anything else. My head tilted back into the couch cushion as I gasped when Wesker's hard cock ground into mine. Without stopping, the blond continued to attack my now exposed neck with his tongue and teeth but he wasn't as careful this time and I soon felt warmth seeping down my skin through the pain. He offered no apology as he continued down my throat to my chest, leaving hard dotted crescent markings in his wake. Some bites bled, others didn't. My fingers gripped and tugged at his hair but he didn't really react to it which was pissing me off. So I slid my free hand between us and grabbed his erection through his sweatpants. That got a reaction. His teeth tightened over the skin of my pec and I cringed at the sharp pain of him breaking the skin again, now glad he hadn't yet reached my nipple. Then his voice hit me, a sexy mix between a frustrated growl and a needy moan.

I was about to look at him to see what kind of expression he was making when my eyes instead moved to the coffee table when my phone rang. Though I wasn't planning on doing anything about that, it caused Wesker to move back up so his body was pinning mine to the couch to prevent me from even trying to go for it. His lips found mine again and I was kicked in the gut by the taste of blood. This was wrong, blood wasn't supposed to be involved with sex- blood meant death. The soldier in me fought against my lust trying to assure that everything was fine in order to stop what was happening. My phone was silent only for a moment before ringing again. The soldier won and I struggled to push Wesker off of me and when I either managed it or he got that I wasn't just teasing anymore, he moved at least enough to question me. When I saw his face I did something I very rarely ever did… I froze. His face was shadowed by the overhead light, his slitted eyes were glowing red, the lustful glaze in them didn't look so seductive anymore it seemed murderously sadistic, and the blood covering his mouth and smeared a little across his chin and cheeks made me think of the deadly monster I'd always viewed him as. For a moment I wasn't a hardened soldier anymore. I was the helpless victim watching a monster kill my friends, the same one I was in all my nightmares of Wesker.

I was harshly snapped out of it when he opened his mouth to say something, I'm not even sure what it was. For a moment all I knew was that there was a murderous monster pinning me down, I was in pain- bitten for god's sake, and he needed to die! I barely stopped myself from attacking. That was all just a flash, there and gone. I knew where I was and why, I knew I was okay and not infected with anything, I knew what we were doing and that Wesker hadn't done anything right now for me to attack him over. It was just a reaction from the trauma of the nightmare that was our history.

Before he could say anything else or ask what was wrong, I pushed a hand against his chest to get away from me as I sat up and quickly scooted away from him until my butt hit the arm of the couch. He called my name with concern but seemed to know better than to touch me. I couldn't look at him. There was a war going on inside me and I was so confused and conflicted. Everything was fine, we were fine. It's just the blood and nightmares coming back to bite me in the ass. I just needed some time to calm down and we would be okay. It was definitely a mood killer but it didn't change anything, I still wanted to have sex with him, I just needed to calm down and tell him the biting wasn't okay going forward- at least no breaking skin. I knew he probably didn't mean to at first but when I didn't react badly to it, he probably stopped caring. Once I explained that it wasn't okay, he'd be careful again and we'd be okay.

"Chris?" he called again, still trying to get my attention. My phone rang again and I snatched it up to answer.

"Sorry to interrupt but I got a call from the girl on cams and you guys are really freaking her out." Jill's tired voice started though she didn't sound too interested in the topic. "If you guys wanna fuck on camera that's up to you guys as long as I don't have to watch it but she didn't know what to do about it and the biting and the blood is where I drew the line." from the corner of my eye I noticed Wesker get up from the couch and head swiftly into his bedroom, a moment later I heard his shower turn on.

"Okay." was all I trusted myself to say right then and if my voice faltered, she didn't notice.

"I really need to get some sleep before my shift in a few hours so we'll talk about stuff later." she said the last few words through a yawn. She muttered a good night that I didn't bother responding to before I hung up. I sat still for a minute, feeling the throb of bites around my torso. I finally sighed to myself when I decided I was okay. I dabbed at some of the blood on my neck and groaned, knowing I was going to be hurting for a while especially if Wesker decided to keep this up rather than allowing my body time to heal. I needed to go check on him, he was probably worried or angry- maybe both. I checked to make sure none of my blood had gotten onto the couch and was thankful I hadn't been bleeding bad enough for it to drip so there was nothing on the furniture. Peeking into Wesker's room, I saw him standing under what I assumed was a cold spray still wearing his pants which now clung to his legs in a way I would've found sexy if the mood hadn't been absolutely shattered. His hands were on the wall in front of him, his head was down, and he was tense so yeah- very angry.

I approached slowly and when he didn't move or say anything to acknowledge me, I stepped under the cold water with him and pressed my body to his as I wrapped my arms around his front. I laid my cheek against his shoulder and closed my eyes against the water as I ignored the sting of it hitting my injuries. He didn't say anything but he relaxed a little. We were only there a few minutes when he turned off the water and stood straight so I let him go and took a step back. He grabbed a nearby towel and turned around to place it over my head so he could dry my hair for me. He slowly dried my upper body, taking care around my now clean wounds before doing the same to himself as he walked over to his dresser to grab a change of pants. Without hesitance or shame… or even a glance at me, he took off his only article of clothing so he could dry his legs and put on the new pants. Then he tossed me the towel and left the room.

I didn't like this. I'd been watching him the entire time and he was too composed, I could barely read any of his body language because it just wasn't there. He had his guard up and didn't want me to see anything… he wasn't comfortable with me anymore. And… I hated that. I hated it a lot more than I ever thought I would- scratch that, I never thought I would care about Wesker's comfortability at all. But here I was, awkwardly pretending to dry my hair again as I waited for him to come back so I could figure out how to fix this.

I was prodding at my aching neck when he came back with a pair of my pants from my room and both of our shirts from the living room. I wasn't shy about my body and we'd both casually seen each other naked before back in the RPD showers so I didn't care if Wesker saw me naked especially considering what I wanted to do with him. But there were cameras in here and that's not something I was comfortable with. I eyed a few of the cameras around the room before sighing and securing the towel around my waist so I could take off my wet pants. I dried the best I could without removing the towel and slid my legs into the pants Wesker handed to me. I left the towel with our forgotten pants as the blond handed over my shirt though I didn't put it on and ended up tossing it onto his bed where he had left his. I didn't want the fabric irritating the bite marks.

"First aid?" I was confused at first but then I felt it, I was bleeding again and Wesker had noticed before I had. I told him where to get the kit and left the room with him to sit back down on the couch, holding my hand to my neck to stop the blood from getting far. Pushing the coffee table closer to the couch with his foot, Wesker then also kicked my phone off of the surface though not with enough force to do any damage, just enough to get it to the floor and away from us. Then he sat on the slightly lower surface in front of me. He nudged my hand away so I moved it, resting it palm up on my knee so I didn't get blood anywhere else and he got to work cleaning and patching me up. "I thought you made up your mind about me." the blond stated with a tone so neutral you wouldn't think he was talking about anything important.

"I have." I answered too quickly but it finally got his still red eyes on me. "That's not it, I…" I sighed and rubbed at my face, trying to figure out how to word this. "I'm not having second thoughts or anything like that, I was just caught off guard." I stated simply and he stared at me for a second before looking back at what he was doing. With him actually maintaining his expression, I couldn't tell if that was a good or bad thing.

"I didn't realize you've had your guard up this whole time."

"I haven't and you know that, we've both been very relaxed. I only meant that as a figure of speech." he didn't respond to that… at all, not even a flicker of anything. I really didn't like him guarding himself from me like this again.

"Then what's the problem?" he was working on my chest now but the only bleeding bite was that last one.

"The blood." that got his attention to me again, this time sharper and he seemed to be studying me. "Just, with everything that's happened between us and all the blood and death I've witnessed it's not like I can just turn off blood equaling danger." I explained shortly and he reacted. His head lowered a little as he shook it, his eyebrows turned up in disbelief, his lips pulled into a small smile, and his body relaxed so much it seemed like he was slouching in comparison. I stared at him in surprise from the sudden change and whatever tension he'd been carrying just moments ago was gone.

"That's it?" he almost laughed.

"Well it had a little to do with you. I've had nightmares starring you as the blood soaked bad guy so it brought some of that up too." I told him but he shook his head again.

"I assume that's not going to be a problem, you would have factored that as you were making up your mind." I nodded and he leaned closer to rest his forehead to mine, his hands now motionless but still on my broad chest. "Nothing's changed then?" I tilted my head to kiss him.

"Nothing's changed, we're okay." I promised and then he kissed me again to seal it.

"Just so you know, that's not something I'm into either." he began as he sat up and finished bandaging the last bleeding bite wound. "I got overexcited and bit you harder than I intended, I didn't mean to make you bleed." I felt my face heat up as he spoke and felt stirring in my abdomen with him telling me directly how much I affected him. I wanted to continue where we left off. "You didn't stop me and since you are a bit of a masochist, I thought you liked it so I didn't hold back as much." he finished cleaning me up by wiping the blood from my hand.

"It's fine, that's what I figured happened." I'm not sure if it was something in my tone that got him to look at me but he smirked at my blushing face though I glared at him for it.

"You seem to think I'm good at everything." he leaned again, tilting his head to the side so his lips could get tantalizingly close to whisper into my ear. "Shall we find out if I'm any good at dirty talking since you seem to be enjoying it?" my face got even hotter and I raised a hand to cover it as Wesker sat back to examine his work on me and chuckled. "I'll take that as a yes." the words rolled from his lips like an invitation to capture them. But I didn't, I was feeling tired again from the stress I'd accidentally put myself through just a bit ago. But everything was fine now. I leaned forward to rest my head onto the older man's shoulder and he actually ran his fingers from the base of my neck into my hair. It was comforting and nice. Yeah, we were okay.

… … …

We sat on the couch, our legs laying across the length with my back to Wesker's chest. I put the last page down of the letters I'd just finished reading, last night's 'First Meet' and tonight's 'Curiosity'. I put the letters face down on the coffee table and tipped my head backward until I could see the blond's face upside down.

"Good to know you cared about me even back then." I chuckled as he rolled his eyes.

"I didn't care about you, I was just curious." he countered and pretended to go back to his own reading.

"Just because you didn't realize what it was doesn't mean it's not true." I said and the older man looked up though not anything for a moment before his gaze turned to me quizzically. Then his lips hardened into a line and he looked at his book again. I laughed and turned a little to see him better. "I'm right?" I asked because while I thought it was right, I didn't expect him to think so too.

"You're not wrong." he corrected.

"Same thing."

"Leagues apart."

"Whatever." I settled back against him with a yawn. We'd had dinner and spent some time watching TV before we both got sick of it and switched to reading since I had to catch up on these anyway.

"Go to bed if you're tired." I groaned in objection but didn't argue. I was tired in the sense that I wanted to go lay down but I wasn't feeling tired in a way that meant I would actually fall asleep. My body was sore and my neck still dully throbbed every time I moved my head. I wanted to go to bed but Wesker still seemed to want to stay up. He was sending me off though and I wanted to listen. I wouldn't ask him to join me for now but maybe later. I tilted my head back again and without having to be asked, he kissed my lips. "Sleep well." I smiled at him and sighed before getting off of him.

"Get some sleep too, okay?" I called as I walked to my room. He hummed dismissively but I didn't pay it any mind as I left my door open and crawled into bed. The couch was comfortable but my bed was better and as much as I loved laying with Wesker, his body wasn't soft at all.

~...~...~...~

I wasn't going to search for him, I had better things to do with my time and resources. But it was just a quick check, it wouldn't require any manpower nor would anyone know I'd done it- not that it mattered. I knew Chris had survived the mansion incident with Jill, Barry, Brad, and Rebecca but I wasn't sure what became of them after Racoon City was destroyed. I was aware of Barry's resignation which was most likely for the sake of his family, Rebecca had left the city pretty quickly after escaping the mansion, and the rest had stayed on the job but I didn't know much more after that. Were they caught up in the incident? Were they killed? Was Chris still alive?

I grimaced at the thought of him dying to a lowly zombie after all the trouble he caused me. Still, his death would mean he would never be a concern to me or my plans again. Would it be more acceptable for him to die at the hands of something of a higher level? No, that didn't satisfy me either. Perhaps if he had fallen to something of my own direct creation, still didn't do it. It wasn't satisfactory if it wasn't me or at least of my own making- my own planning. I needed to be the one to kill him, or at the very least be the one to make it happen. If he died in Racoon City by whatever means- well it was practically an accident and that wasn't acceptable!

"Fuck it." I growled to myself as I did a quick search for the man who was once my pointman. He and the others put some real pressure on Chief Irons after what happened at the Arklay Facility but of course nothing came of it since he was taking bribes from Umbrella. It seemed as though Chris had some disciplinary action on him for outbursts and was suspended just before STARS was disbanded in favor of forming the Racoon SWAT. A pity, STARS had been top of the line however it made sense to get rid of them since they knew too much. I'm surprised to learn they hadn't been killed off although with more digging I learned that wasn't entirely true. Umbrella had unleashed the Nemesis Project into Racoon City with the sole purpose of killing off all the remaining STARS members. Based on Jill's statements, she had fought it several times before finally managing to kill it though it was successful in killing Brad so it wasn't a complete failure. Barry had come to Jill's rescue and they escaped but there was no mention of Chris. Where the fuck was he?

I hacked my way into his personal information and found the purchase of a ticket to Europe. The flight was before the Racoon City Incident and there had yet to be a return to Racoon City or anywhere so it was safe to assume he wasn't there when the outbreak happened. But what was he doing in Europe? There was no way it was actually for a 'vacation' as he had seemed to tell people. Knowing him, he would stay on the case until the end. With his self righteous view of justice, he wouldn't just let everything he saw slide. He must have found something that led him to Europe but what? It had to do with Umbrella, that part was absolutely certain.

So that left me with another dilemma. Did I drop the matter or continue to search for him? Just because he wasn't involved in the outbreak didn't mean he was still alive. There hadn't been any activity on his accounts after he arrived in Europe, he seemed to go nearly completely off the grid. The next best clue as to what could have become of him was if I wormed my way into Umbrella's systems even if just a little. But that could be dangerous, I was supposed to be dead and if I triggered even the slightest alarm I could potentially reveal myself or my location to them. Was finding out whether Chris was alive worth endangering myself?

I was skimming a few recent files an hour later. Umbrella had suffered break ins at two separate facilities and it was only recently they were able to identify Chris as the culprit. He hadn't been able to take anything of value of course, all of the damning evidence was too heavily guarded and he would never be able to infiltrate that deep on his own no matter how good he was. Though I'm sure they'd put a hit on him, I knew they wouldn't find him, the clever bastard. I, on the other hand, was hearing whispers of an anti-BOW organization trying to pull together and just knew Chris had to be in the center of it. I wasn't sure how he got back to the US but he must have gotten enough information to better focus his efforts.

A vicious little smile spread on my lips. Chris was alive and still putting himself on the line. We would see each other again and when we did I would kill him. He would die directly by my hand, it was exactly what he deserved. The only acceptable death for my favorite, delivered by my very hand.


Hey! Long time no see and I'm deeply sorry about that.

Excuse time. For quite some time I wasn't really able to write much, not for a lack of time, just couldn't. Not quite writer's block, I just didn't have the motivation. I've been through some complex shit the past few months that I won't get into too deep here but it's leveling out now so all should be well. This month has been especially rough, the 4th of July is always a terrible thing for me to endure but this year I was taken care of by a friend so I'm more okay than I've been around this time of year for at least the past 4-5 years, two of those years I ended up hospitalized. But thanks to my friend's efforts I wasn't hit too bad and recovery has been pretty smooth so I'm okay. It was a push backward that did put me on a block, I was too tense to do much of anything for a while but then tragedy as a way of pushing my writing forward too and that came in the form of yesterday. July 13th is the anniversary of my grandma's death, it's been 8 years so I'm through the grieving process but I still miss her a hell of a lot since she was my mom- my only real parental figure at all (at least in any sort of positive light). She's the only reason I'm a person at all and not what I was beaten into when I was young but that's another story. I wish she would have had the chance to meet my kids and them know her more personally than just through pictures and my telling. Thinking of her so much pushed me from tense and disconnected to nostalgic and reconnected through her and then to creative to work through it. So I did a lot of writing. She's still helping me even now. I finally got around to writing this chapter (I'd been stuck on it for forever), finished the next chapter of Man or Monster (another Chrisker fic I have on AO3, it's been mostly done for some time), and even did a lot of work for that other Chrisker fic I've got building up (filling holes and moving forward). It's been a pretty productive few days and I'm glad to be back in the swing of things. That said I'm probably not going to be writing a bunch for the rest of the month as I'm taking part in Art Fight this year and I've already been absent pretty much all month so far because of these troubles. I want to do some more there even though sharing my art is far outside my comfort zone but it's been pretty fun so far. I gotta admit though doing so much drawing is taking it out of me since normally I only draw when inspired so doing it as a form of obligation is zapping me pretty quick.

On another note, I got accepted into my new college and will be starting there next month so between school, work, the kids, and household duties I'm not sure what it's going to do to my writing. It'll go one of two ways, either I'll be overwhelmed and not want to do a damn thing when I get home or I'll want to write more to get some relief since writing is my safe place. Maybe a mix depending on the day, I don't know, how much varies but I will be writing.

Anyway thanks for listening to my rant, I'm done with excuses for now. I hope you enjoyed the chapter even though I managed to dodge sex again, somehow, it was an actual accident this time. The whole thing with the blood and I couldn't have Chris not react badly to it since his nightmares have been a thing in this story.

See you all soon, I promise!