Peeta was the first to wake, which was good, because he woke up harder than he usually did in the mornings. Once his eyes had opened and he registered his surroundings, he understood why.

Katniss slept on her back with her arms tucked under the pillow, while Peeta's cheek rested against her stomach. His hand was curved around her breast and his lips were touching her belly button. The blankets were pulled up to his hips while she had nothing covering her, except for him.

He lifted his head, blinking the sleep out of his eyes, and stared at his wife for a good five minutes, not wanting to wake her but longing to know what her husky morning voice sounded like when it was crying for more.

He trailed tender kisses across her hipbone and then lower, already craving her unique taste. He pushed her legs open, chewing on his lip when he saw how pink and perfect she was. He glanced up at her face but she still slept soundly, a content smile making her even more beautiful in the morning light. Peeta lowered his head and trailed his lips down her inner thighs and around her lower lips. Her leg shook and he heard her moan but she didn't stir. He used his fingers to spread her wider and he shivered with delight when he felt her arousal start to leak out of her. He eagerly lapped at her, his tongue flicking across her clit and making her body quiver.

"Oh my god," she mumbled, her voice thick and croaky. Peeta propped his chin on her pelvis and grinned.

"Good morning."

"Mmmornin-ohhhhhhhhhh," she arched her back and brought her hands to her hair as he went back to his task. His dick was positively screaming for attention, so he reached down and wrapped his hand around his shaft. Getting himself off while he was getting her off was a new thrill, and he could barely hold on before he felt wet all over his hand. A few seconds after he had stroked himself to completion, she was arching her back and clutching his hair tightly, his name echoing off the pristine walls. She shuddered and gently pushed him away, and he propped himself on his elbows, leaning down to kiss her.

"That's an interesting way to wake up in the morning," she mumbled, lifting her head off the pillow.

"I couldn't resist. It is getting late though, what do you say we take a quick shower and get ready for breakfast?"

"No funny business," she waggled her finger at him and he smiled as he took hold of her finger and nipped at the tip.

"I can't make any promises." She narrowed her eyes at him and pushed on his shoulder until she sat up and threw her legs over the bed. Peeta watched her unabashedly as she padded flat-footed and gloriously naked into the bathroom. She glared at him over her shoulder and swung her hip out.

"Are you coming or are you just going to stare at me all day?"

"Do I actually get to choose one of those options?"

"No," she snapped. "Get in here. We can't be late for breakfast."


Peeta kept his hands to himself during their shower, though he did have to turn away and face the wall when the sight of the water dripping down her naked skin became too much. Katniss snorted and shook her head as she washed her hair and he glared at the wall in front of him, silently telling his dick to behave (they had been having that conversation a lot, lately)

Katniss raised her arms to the shower and shook the water out of her eyes. She felt slightly sad as she swiped the cloth between her legs, erasing any evidence of what she and Peeta had done. She washed his sweat off her skin and his scent disappeared down the drain.

"Switch places with me," he grunted behind her, his eyes closed to keep the soap from dripping into his eyes. She watched his muscles flex as he lifted his arm to wash his neck, then trailed the cloth down his chiseled abs. She bit her lip as his hand brushed against his length. She hadn't really paid any attention to that part of him except when they were being intimate but even here in the shower, when he was only half hard, she was still fascinated. She wanted to take him into her mouth and watch him harden in front of her but she had been the one to say no funny business. She quickly stepped to the side so he could rinse the soap off and she couldn't resist squeezing his firm ass as she did so. He quirked his brow and grunted as he raised his face toward the water.

"That doesn't count as funny business?" She shrugged but didn't answer. He turned the water off and they dried off quickly, standing close together on the drying matts. She stood in front of the mirror and brushed out her hair, while he brushed his teeth. She studied her reflection and tried to find something that would give her away. Would anyone know what they had done? Would the President see something in her face that said they were no longer virgins? What if one of the Victors saw something? She internally groaned at the thought of Johanna's smug face. She was sure the Victor from 7 would have nothing but crude things to throw out.

Did she look any different? Did Peeta?

She studied his face, searching for something. He looked flushed but it could have been the hot water on his fair skin. He was smiling, but that wasn't rare. His hair was combed back perfectly. Katniss longed to run her fingers through it and mess it up again. She rolled her eyes. What was wrong with her? The towel tied around his waist seemed to tease her, begging her to rip it off.

He caught her staring and his smile grew. She blushed as she tried to sidestep him but he cupped her chin and leaned down to kiss her. He hoped this would continue when they returned to 12. He wasn't sure how she would feel being so affectionate in front of her family. He smirked to himself at the thought of her kissing him in front of Gale Hawthorne. Oh, if only.

He heard the phone ring and he cleared his throat as he rushed to answer it. He glanced at the clock to make sure they weren't running late before he picked up the phone.

"Mellark."

"Captain Mellark. General Duartyr. I need you to meet me at the Justice Building in the town square. As soon as possible."

"General, my wife and I are having breakfast with the President and some of the Victors this morning," he whispered, his heart starting to pound at his General's tone. "Is everything alright?"

"No Peeta. It's not. I think I found Darius."


Peeta was at loss what to do. He didn't want to send Katniss to breakfast with Snow alone. He certainly didn't want to take her with him to the Justice Building. He couldn't ask anyone to stay with her.

Katniss watched while her husband rushed around the room, dressing as quickly as he could.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on? Why you look so pale?"

"Sorry Katniss, I just… Duartyr asked for me to meet him at the Justice Building and I don't know how I'm supposed to go when we're supposed to be at the Presidential Mansion soon."

"Tell Duartyr you can't meet him," she shrugged. He didn't want to mention Darius just yet. He had no idea what state his soldier would be in, and Duartyr had only said to come quickly. Why was Darius at the Justice Building and not the medical facility? How had Duartyr found him? A million questions raced through Peeta's mind but he shook his head.

"I can't disobey a direct order from my General."

"And you really can't disobey an order from the President," she said pointedly. He sighed, admitting she was right. What was he supposed to do?

A knock at the door saved him from having to say anything further and he yanked it open, almost sighing in relief at the sight of Haymitch.

"Good morning Captain. Mrs. Mellark," Haymitch nodded to Katniss. "Would you like to share a ride to the Presidential Mansion?"

"Haymitch," Peeta lowered his voice and pulled the Victor into their room. "I need you to escort Katniss to breakfast for me."

"What?"

"What," Katniss demanded behind him. Peeta bit his lip and turned, holding his hands up in a placating manner.

"Duartyr thinks he's found Darius," he said quietly. "He told me to meet him at the Justice Building. Now."

"Peeta, you can't just skip out on breakfast with the President," Haymitch reminded him.

"Katniss can go in my place. If I don't go, something might happen to Darius."

"And if you go, something might happen to someone you love!" Katniss gasped at Haymitch's angry outburst and Peeta stared with wide eyes. Haymitch sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"Kid, it might be a trap."

"I trust General Duartyr. Probably more than anyone else in the Capitol. Besides Katniss, of course."

"Thanks. I feel the love," he grumbled. Peeta rolled his eyes.

"Look Haymitch-"

"No, you look. You want to keep that pretty wife of yours safe? You do everything that Snow says. He says come to breakfast, you come to breakfast! Do not tempt him by disobeying him. What makes you think I'd be able to keep her safe from him?"

"You're a Victor," he said weakly.

"A Victor is selfish, kid. A Victor survives above all else. That means he has to kill everyone to make sure he is the one who gets out of there. You can't protect anyone in an arena."

"Haymitch, please," Peeta pleaded. "I have a duty to citizens of 12-"

"You have a duty to your wife," Haymitch practically yelled. "You have a duty to her to protect her and stay by her side! You have a duty to Violet Everdeen to keep her daughter safe! You have a duty to Primrose Everdeen to bring her sister home! You have a goddamn duty to Ash Everdeen to cherish his daughter, as he did, and make sure he didn't die in vain!" Katniss's hands clapped to her mouth as Peeta's hung wide open. Haymitch's eyes were bulging, realizing what he had just said.

"Explain yourself," Katniss said, her voice shaking. She lowered her hands to her side and clenched them tightly. "What did you mean just now?"

"Nothing sweetheart-"

"Don't you sweetheart me," she said shrilly. "What did you just say about my dad?" Haymitch glanced at Peeta and shook his head.

"We need to go. President Snow is expecting-"

"Not until you tell me," Katniss shrieked, angry tears streaming down her cheeks. Peeta moved to wrap his arms around her but she jerked out of his reach.

"Don't touch me, Peeta. Haymitch, you need to start talking. Right now."

"You know, don't you," Peeta said softly, his eyes on the Victor. "You know why Snow wants Katniss out of 12 so badly. Why he told Thread to investigate her. You know and you didn't tell me."

"Don't be naive, Captain," Haymitch sneered. "If I'd told you everything and you were taken prisoner by the Capitol, you really think our secrets would be safe?" Peeta looked furious.

"I would never-"

"Not willingly, you wouldn't but there are other ways to make you talk." Haymitch held up his hand, then dropped it by his side. "I know what they did to you, Peeta. What they could do to you again. I know what is inside you. And I couldn't risk it. I couldn't risk the Capitol turning on you and finding out." Peeta's eyes flashed as his hands started to shake.

"How did you-"

"That doesn't matter," he waved his hand. "The point is, we're in danger here. More so than back in 12. Although there can be an… accident… anywhere, any time." He gave Peeta a pointed look but Peeta's ears were buzzing and he felt an intense pain in his head. He crushed his nails to his palms and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Sweetheart, go take his hand."

"Don't tell me what-"

"Katniss, stop being a stubborn mule and take hold of your husband's hand! Now!" Katniss huffed but grabbed Peeta's hand and gently massaged it open. His palm was bleeding and she watched him anxiously.

"Peeta? Can you hear me?" He wanted to answer her but the pain was becoming unbearable. He reached up and pressed his hand to his temple. She held onto the other hand, rubbing his fingers between her palms.

"Peeta, I'm right here," her voice was soothing and all he wanted to do was fall into her arms. "You're ok. I'm right beside you."

"Take a step back, sweetheart," Haymitch warned but Katniss ignored him. She moved closer, wrapping her arm around Peeta's waist.

"Peeta, open your eyes and see me. I'm right here." His hand shook in hers and he squeezed his eyes shut even tighter. Voices buzzed in his ears. He started to hit himself in the head and she gave Haymitch a look of terror.

"Back off, Katniss," the Victor said through gritted teeth.

"And leave him like this?" Peeta fell into the floor, rocking back and forth on his knees and she knelt beside him. She took his face in her hands and kissed his forehead. She started to hum, very softly, but Haymitch knew the song well. He had heard Ash sing it often enough. It always made baby Katniss smile. He saw how the song affected Peeta as well. He stopped shaking and he was no longer hitting himself. Katniss wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his shoulder, humming the song. Peeta's head fell back against her chest and Haymitch watched as the Captain returned to himself. He was stunned at how weak Peeta looked. From what he'd been told, the young peacekeeper would react violently and wouldn't let anyone touch him. It seemed that his sources weren't completely right.

Peeta's head hung and he felt his body ache all over. Katniss supported him as she pulled him to his feet and helped him lean against her.

"What was that," she asked Haymitch sharply.

"Proof of what I just said. Peeta has been poisoned and he isn't as cured as we had hoped he was. He can be triggered, and can lose sense of himself."

"What does that even mean," she snapped. "He didn't lose… whatever you just said."

"Did that look like Peeta to you? At least he didn't turn violent."

"Violent? He looked like a scared little boy! How could you think he would turn violent?"

"Look sweetheart, Haemon was determined to turn him into a weapon," Haymitch explained softly. "He wanted Peeta to forget about his past and where he had come from. He wanted him to be a trained killer. But you and I both know that Peeta was always a sweet, mild-mannered boy, who wouldn't hurt a fly. Even in his wrestling matches, he shook his opponent's hand and gave them a smile. Haemon wanted to erase that part of him completely so they poisoned him and made him forget who he was. They made him think he was a bloodthirsty soldier, highly trained in combat."

"How could they possibly do that? Erase a whole other side of him," she asked, shaking her head.

"It's called hijacking, Katniss," his voice was surprisingly gentle. "And I'm sorry that I can't give you more information. The Capitol's very secretive about this form of torture, and I've been told that the results are inconsistent. What I do know is that it's a type of fear conditioning. Have you ever been stung by a tracker jacker?"

"Dad always told me to stay away from the west end of the woods, because there were nests there. But I've never seen any."

"Ash would know about that," Haymitch nodded. "He was stung when he was a boy." Her eyes widened in horror. Why had her father never told her that?

"Well anyway, you really suffer mental confusion. A sense of being unable to judge what's true and what's false. That's what they did to Peeta. They administered various dosages of venom and tortured him. They… beat him or shocked him. I'm sure you can use your imagination."

"I just don't understand… how do they alter a memory?"

"Jesus sweetheart, I'm not from District 3 or anything. OK. This is how it was explained to me. Imagine that I ask you to remember something - either with a verbal suggestion or by making you watch a tape of the event - and while that experience is refreshed, I give you a dose of tracker jacker venom. Not enough to induce a three-day blackout. Just enough to infuse the memory with fear and doubt. And that's what your brain puts in long-term storage." Katniss shook her head in

bewilderment.

"But it didn't work, did it? I mean… he's still here. He's… he's still Peeta," she glanced at her husband and bit her lip at how pale he was. He was leaning on her for support and his eyes were half closed.

"The thing is, this type of conditioning is usually targeted toward particular memories or one particular person. It's strange that they were trying to wipe out his whole background. And you're right, it didn't work like they hoped. From what I've been told, this method was frowned upon and Haemon went behind Snow's back to do it to Peeta. When another commander from 2 found out what was happening, he reported Haemon to Snow and whisked Peeta away from there. He was given some time to recover and Peeta's commander reached out to Ryen Mellark to see if there was anyone else who could help him. Well Rye had been through some terrible ordeal himself, I don't really know all the details, but he said Peeta should be able to return to 12 for a short time. I think we both know what he hoped would jog the boy's memories." Katniss blushed and turned to Peeta.

"But the Minister of Defense refused to let him return. He suggested that Peeta come to the Capitol to recover but Peeta's commander said he would be better to stay in 2. I really don't know what happened next. Peeta doesn't talk about it, obviously, and no one seems to know how he recovered or how long it took. From what I've heard, after he recovered, his commander was promoted and Peeta became dedicated to becoming a good soldier. That was that."

"How do you know all of this, Haymitch? What are you involved with?"

"I think you know the answer to that, sweetheart. And if Peeta trusted you to tell you what he knew, that means you're now in on it too."

"No," she shook her head and dragged Peeta backwards. "I'm not getting in on anything that will risk my sister's life."

"You really want Prim growing up in a world like this? You think she can escape the Reaping bowl for the next few years?"

"I'll keep her name out," she protested. "With the money that Peeta is giving me-"

"That just takes care of her future entries. It doesn't eliminate her entries now! Katniss, don't you see? We can change the world for the better. We can actually save Panem!"

"I don't want to hear it, Haymitch. You're talking rebellion. Traitors. And you actually sent Peeta into the Capitol as a spy, knowing he could be hurt!"

"Peeta volunteered for this," he raised his voice. "He knows the risks, as we all do. He agreed so he could have a chance to protect you!"

"How is this protecting me? I'm here in the Capitol, about to have breakfast with the man I hate most in this world. I was almost raped in front of a room full of people and my husband was nearly sold to a sixteen year old girl. How exactly do you think we can help anyone?"

"This is bigger than you think, Katniss," Haymitch said softly. "We actually have a shot now. We need every district on our side, to stand up to the Capitol."

"No more games, Haymitch," she said angrily. "You tell me what you know or you get the hell out." He glanced at Peeta and sighed.

"Alright. But not here. I know a place where we can talk freely. If you can hold out for a couple of hours, I'll take you and Peeta after breakfast and I'll tell you

everything."

"I thought you said this room isn't bugged."

"Well I hope to high heaven it's not cause if it is, we're all dead," he heaved a great sigh. "Just humor me, sweetheart. Let's get through breakfast and then I'll tell you what you want to know."

"You'll answer my questions? Tell me what you know about my father?"

"I'll tell you what you want to know," he repeated. "We really need to do something to help Peeta before we go. We can't draw any suspicion to ourselves and he isn't looking so good."

"Let me see about washing his face and changing his shirt," she noticed he had sweated through the shirt he was wearing. "We will meet you downstairs." Haymitch nodded, giving Peeta one last sad look, before he left the room. Katniss grunted under Peeta's weight as she half dragged him into the bathroom.

"Come on Peeta, I need you to stay with me." She sat him on the toilet seat and wet a towel. She knelt in front of him and brought it to his face. He jumped at the cold and his eyes flew open in terror.

"Hey," she said soothingly, resting a hand on his arm. "It's ok. It's just me."

"Katniss?" She bit her lip at how weak and vulnerable his voice sounded.

"It's me," she nodded. "How are you feeling?"

"I… what happened?"

"What do you remember?" He rubbed the back of his neck, looking bewildered.

"Not much," he admitted. "Wasn't Haymitch here?"

"Yes. We will meet him downstairs in a few minutes. Peeta, do you remember anything else? Think really hard."

"Um… we were talking to Haymitch. And he mentioned…" he frowned, shaking his head. "Why can't I remember?" He hit himself in the forehead and she grabbed his hand.

"Don't," she shook her head, remembering how he had attacked himself only moments ago. "It's ok. You had some sort of fit."

"A fit? Did I hurt you?"

"Of course not." He rose up off the seat, his eyes widening in horror.

"Katniss, did I do anything to you?"

"No Peeta, I'm fine! Sit back down. You need to calm down." But his heart was racing and he started to sweat again. If Katniss had seen one of his attacks… oh please no. He squeezed his eyes shut and his hands covered his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Katniss," he groaned into his hands.

"Peeta," she said sharply, yanking his hands down and holding them. "Stop apologizing. This isn't your fault. None of it is." Haymitch had to know everything. He had known about Peeta's torture. Had he told Katniss?

He knew she would demand to know. He tried to hide his face again. He couldn't bring himself to look at her.

But Katniss was not having it. She grasped his chin and said his name until he opened his eyes.

"This is not your fault," she said slowly. "And you don't need to be embarrassed around me."

"Now you know the truth," he shook his head, blinking back tears. "You know what a monster I am."

"For the last time, you are NOT a monster. The Capitol bastards who did this to you are the monsters. They poisoned you, Peeta! How could you possibly blame yourself?"

"I wasn't strong enough," he shook his head, the tears falling freely. "I wasn't strong enough to fight it. I let them take my memories and I… I couldn't do anything. They changed me. They made me do horrible things and I… Katniss, what if I hurt you?"

"You couldn't hurt me," she said but he reached up and took her face in his hands.

"You don't know the worst of it. What I've done. My own flesh and blood and I… I forgot who I was. What if I forget who you are? What if I do something terrible to you? You would never forgive me. I would never forgive myself!"

"Peeta," her hands rested on his, her voice gentle. "Peeta, listen to me. You may have done horrible things in the past but this is now. And you overcame it. You fought it off. Whatever you thought of to cure yourself must have worked because you're still here with me, the sweet shy boy I remember. It's who you are inside. You're still you."

"You, Katniss," he said with a choked sob. "I thought of you. Your voice and your silver eyes and your song… you brought me out of it. They tried to take everything… everything about my life in 12 but they must not have known about you, because they didn't touch my memories of you. You were always there, holding out your hand and ready to pull me out of it." She pulled him close, his head crushed to her breast as she tightened her hold on him. He wept into her shirt and she said nothing. Finally, when he had shed his last tear, he pulled away and wiped at his face. She lifted the towel to his face again and gently wiped at his cheeks.

"I don't want this to change anything," she said softly. "I don't want you to feel any differently around me. And I hope you know you can tell me anything."

"I didn't know Haymitch knew," he mumbled. "And I would rather have told you than you finding out from someone else but I guess it's good that you know. I wasn't ready to tell you and don't know when I would be ready. Now you know the truth."

"We don't have to talk about it anymore," she pushed his damp hair out of his red-rimmed eyes. "But if you need to, I'm here, ok? Whenever you want to talk, know that I'm right here." He managed a weak smile and he nodded.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"You do that. Let me grab you a clean shirt." He whipped the sodden shirt over his head and wiped himself with the cloth while Katniss dug through his bag for a new one. She brought it back to the bathroom and knelt in front of him.

"Peeta… when Haymitch said he knows what is inside you… does that mean that the poison is still inside you?" He glanced at her before leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"When I came to the Capitol, Duartyr told me not to mention the poisoning. He said it was such a secretive form of torture that hardly anyone knows anything about it or understands it. As far as I know, I'm the only one who was able to… well, pull myself out of it. I won't say I cured myself because as you can see, I still have attacks from time to time. But if I grip onto something, or dig my fingernails into my palms… I'm usually able to snap out of it. The pain helps me focus. It keeps me anchored here. But it was something else this time. I felt myself slipping and then I was sort of drawn back by… a song? Was that you?" She swallowed but said nothing. He sat up and rested his palms on his knees.

"It was you, wasn't it? You were singing to me."

"I just figured, since it seemed to help the other night, maybe it would help again this time."

"It did. I can't explain it but when these attacks come on… it's like I'm floating above my body, watching myself do these horrible things. Not being able to stop myself. But when you sing, I'm grounded and sort of… share my body with someone else. But I'm able to expel him and stop him from hurting anyone else. I know, I must sound insane," he added, seeing the look in her eyes.

"No. It's not insane, Peeta, it's just… god, I hate this for you. It must be exhausting, inside your head. How can you stand it?"

"I used to tell myself that wasn't who I was," he took her hand and pulled it to his cheek. "That I was a good person and my family would be ashamed to see what I had become. But it didn't always work. When I thought of my mother, I just became angrier. Wondering if she would actually like me now that I wasn't so weak. She wouldn't hit me or call me pathetic. It just enraged me even more, and it was hard to stay grounded." She scowled, hating his mother even more.

"But with you," he said gently, threading his fingers in hers. "I hear your voice telling me that I'm good. That I'm no monster. All those wonderful things you told me back in 12. And last night. And it made the pain go away faster. I was able to focus and remember who I was."

"So I guess you're stuck with me til death, then, if I'm the only one who can snap you out of it." He smiled and leaned in close, pressing his forehead to hers.

"That's what I'm counting on."

"Ok, we really need to get going. Are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. You said we're meeting Haymitch downstairs?"

"There's something else, Peeta. I told Haymitch… ok, I demanded to know what he is keeping from us. After breakfast, he's going to tell us everything." His eyes widened.

"He has a safe house, I'm assuming?"

"He said he would take us somewhere where we can talk freely. He said we have a real shot at rebellion. But I want to know what he knows about my dad and what all of this has to do with him."

"Then let's get through breakfast so we can finally get some answers."


I'm sorry it's so short you guys but I figured any story is better than none ;) I leave for NYC next week so I'm gunna try my hardest to post again before I leave! XOXOX