This chapter isn't super action-packed, but contains some sweet Everlark moments and some close calls. Have a great weekend everyone!
XOXOX
Peeta knocked on the bathroom door for the hundredth time that evening. Sighing, he pressed his ear against the door and listened. He thought he heard water dripping from the faucet but he couldn't be certain. The door was locked, as he had been distraught to discover when they returned to their hotel room. Katniss hadn't said a word the entire ride home and had locked herself in the bathroom as soon as they had gotten inside. Peeta had knocked and pleaded for her to talk to him but she was silent behind the door.
Now, three hours later, he still waited on the other side of the door, his heart sinking lower and lower.
"Katniss, please. I ordered some food for you. Won't you please come out and talk to me?" Silence. He pressed his forehead to the door and shook his head. The avox had brought the food over an hour ago and it was surely cold by now. But he couldn't eat, knowing that she was upset. He knew it was a lot to take in. And he was still angry that everyone seemed to be forcing all of this on her rather than asking her what she wanted. Just because her father had been the leader, they automatically assumed she would take his place. But he knew Katniss well. She didn't like the idea of fighting or war. All she wanted was to keep her family safe. To keep Prim out of harm. Haymitch had guilted her into accepting the position by telling her stories of her father.
"Katniss… love, please talk to me. We're in this together, you know." He tried the door again, as if it would magically unlock for him this time, but it still wouldn't budge. Three hours was too long. He was ready to knock the door down if she didn't open it soon. He knew that wasn't exactly giving her space but after the news of Darius and everything that had happened, his nerves were frayed.
"Katniss… I'm breaking this door if you don't open it." He listened but it was still silent. His forehead thumped against the wood. He really didn't want to break a hotel door but as his brain kept repeating, three hours was too long.
It didn't take much for the door to splinter open and Peeta groaned as he pushed it open. Water filled the bathtub but it was empty. His heart thundered as he turned toward the window, the curtains blowing in the wind. Who the hell had thought a window this big in a bathroom was a good idea, he scoffed to himself. Katniss was perched on the ledge like she was about to take flight. Her knees were drawn to her chest and her head was lowered. She kept turning the mockingjay pin over in her hand. Peeta swallowed as he approached the window.
"Katniss?" She didn't stir but he knew she'd heard him.
"Please," he implored, reaching for her shoulder. She jerked away and he saw her balance was thrown off momentarily. He threw his hands in the air and stammered an apology.
"I'm sorry, just… please come back inside. You are making me so nervous."
"I'm fine," she said stiffly to the night air.
"You may climb trees fairly often but this is a sixty story building. Please come back inside and talk to me." He was more worried about her getting sick; it was still bitterly cold and the wind chill was not helping.
"Just leave me alone, Peeta. Please."
"Katniss, I'm your husband. Not just your friend. I want to help you with this. Just talk-"
"You lied to me," her head shot up and her eyes were rimmed with red. His brow furrowed in confusion and he took a step forward.
"I didn't lie-"
"Why didn't you tell me 13 still exists?" Peeta swallowed and peered out the window.
"I know you're upset, but please, keep your voice down. Let's just… shut the window. And talk inside." He gently tugged her off the ledge and closed the window, a little surprised that she didn't put up a fight. She sank onto the toilet seat and Peeta straightened the curtains before turning back to her.
"I couldn't tell you. I wanted to but I didn't have enough information myself. Haymitch stressed that we had to protect you and he didn't want you to know everything yet. But I don't like keeping secrets from you. I told you what I could."
"You've kept lots of secrets from me," she said quietly. "How could you not tell me about your hijacking? And what happened to Ryen?" He visibly winced and
wrapped his arms around himself.
"Rye and I… we've never talked about… what happened. I didn't even believe Duartyr when he told me. How could I ever be in that sort of state that I would forget my own brother? Rye even told Duartyr not to remind me… to let it fade from my mind. Of course now, years later, I remember it. I remember it happening and I remember actually doing it. His cries of pain, they haunt my dreams. And they're right, Katniss. I really can't be trusted. If I could be turned against my own brother, I could easily be forced to hurt you." Katniss's eyes softened.
"No," she reached out and cupped his chin. "You would never hurt me. I believe that. You're so incredibly strong, Peeta. Just because they were able to get to you before doesn't mean it will happen again. You can fight it. If it comes down to it… just think of my voice, in your head, telling you how wonderful you are. How GOOD you are. Telling you that I lo- ….that you mean the world to me." He glanced up at her, his eyes hazy and sad.
"This is so much more complicated than either of us could have realized. I'm a Peacekeeper Captain and you're the daughter of the late Leader of the Rebellion. You could be the next Mockingjay. We're living on borrowed time here, Katniss."
"We make our own paths, Peeta," she said firmly. "And now that you know we have so many powerful allies, you should know that we won't back down so easily. You're a soldier, yes, but your heart still belongs in 12. With me." She moved her hand down his chest and pressed her palm over his heart. He covered her hand with his and leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers.
"I didn't want you to know what had happened to me. That's why I never told you anything about the… the hijacking," he struggled with the word that referred to his torture. How so much pain could be contained in one word, he didn't know.
"From this moment on, I'll share everything with you. Even if they say it would put you in too much danger… I know how strong you are. You don't need anyone to protect you, you can take care of yourself. Snow will cower once he realizes what a formidable force he is dealing with."
"I'm just one girl, Peeta," she said in a small voice. He smiled and stroked her cheek.
"And your father was just one man. He reached thousands of people, promising change. You can continue his legacy or you can accept the way things are and try to live a quiet life, with your family. With me. It's your choice and no one else's. No one can tell you what to do."
"Come take a bath with me," she stood and tugged on his hand. He frowned at her abrupt change of subject. "I'm going to miss these baths when we get home." He smiled weakly at her reference to his house as 'home'. She knelt to test the water and shivered.
"It's a little cold."
"Yeah, you've been in here for three hours." She bent down to let the cold water out, and ran the hot water again.
"Is that why you decided to break the door?" She raised a brow at the wood splinters littering the floor. "You'll have to pay for that, you know."
"Worth it," he shrugged. "After everything today… I panicked when you were out of my sight. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry that I hid away from you. I just…"
"I know," he said gently. He pulled his shirt over his head and flung it aside. When his fingers moved to unbutton his slacks, her hand covered his and he froze. She glanced up at him before she moved closer and trailed her lips across his chest. He sucked in a breath as her tongue swirled around his nipple, her fingers working at the button and zipper. She tugged his pants and underwear down around his ankles and stood in front of him. He swallowed heavily, her silver eyes boring into his. She brought his hand to the buttons of her shirt and he took the lead. His hands slid her shirt off her shoulders and he leaned in to kiss her neck as he unclasped her bra. He dropped to his knees so he could pull her pants down her legs and he watched her as he kissed his way back up her legs, around the waistband of her panties. She gripped his shoulders as he pulled those down as well, and tossed them aside. She stepped into the tub and he sat down in front of her, both of them sighing at the warmth. He tilted his head back on her chest and she gently ran her fingers through his curls. She wanted to demand he tell her everything would be ok. She wanted him to promise that they would be safe. She wished she could whisk him and Prim and her mother and the Hawthornes and Rosalie and Sae and so many others to a safe place. A place where Snow couldn't touch them.
But the warm water made her sleepy and the feel of him in her arms made her fall silent. She bent down to kiss his forehead and his blue eyes blinked up at her.
"You're my world, Katniss. Whatever happens, please don't forget that." He reached for her hand under the water and squeezed.
"I don't know what to do, Peeta."
"Listen to your heart and not what all those people are telling you. What does your heart say?"
"I don't know. I haven't really let my heart lead me too much before. I'm too logical." He grinned up at her and shook his head.
"I don't think that's true. You love fiercely, Katniss. Your actions have been lead by love for a long time. Look at everything you have done and risked for Prim, and tell me that's not your heart leading you." She blinked and relaxed against the wall.
"But what will happen if I say no?"
"You can't worry about the rest of the world, my love. You worry about yourself and the ones you love. If you don't want to be their symbol, they can find someone else. You aren't dishonoring your father in any way, so don't start to think that. Every one of those people should have asked you to be their Mockingjay, not told you that's what you're to become. If you wanted to walk away and never attend another meeting, I wouldn't fault you." He pulled her hand from the water and entwined his fingers with hers, studying them closely.
"But," he lowered his voice, "I've always dreamed of a better Panem. I dream of a simple life with you, one with a beautiful little girl that looks just like you. A life filled with laughter and devoid of starvation and pain. If you can give us that, then I think it's worth the risk. But as I said before, I will stand by you, whatever you decide."
"You just confused me even more," she shook her head crossly.
"Sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. It's all up to you, Katniss. You decide what you want to do. Either way, we have to leave 12. Will your mother and sister leave willingly?"
"They will want to know why. I don't know if I'll be able to convince them."
"I don't want to do it but I will order them to leave, if I have to."
"Probably not the best way to make my family like you," she raised a brow. He sat up and turned to face her.
"This is bigger than your family liking me. I want to keep them safe, Katniss. I'll do whatever I have to. Rye even asked me if I would order my own parents to leave but I just don't know if I can do that. That bakery has been my dad's pride and joy since he first inherited it. And it's been in the family for nearly a hundred years. I can't see him doing anything else."
"But if you think your family is safe, why make them leave? Finnick said it was my family that's the concern."
"Snow can use them against you," he nodded. "We just need to make sure that if worst comes to worst, Snow can't use anyone to make you do anything. He is used to getting his way. And he is a strategist. I have a feeling he will try to coax you to his side. But he will use force if he has to."
"If he trusts you as much as you think he does, don't you think he will count on you to get me on his side?"
"Probably. Which might explain why he is being so nice. Trying to give you a chance to see Panem, making sure you get to choose where you want to live. He seemed genuinely concerned for your safety. Maybe Haymitch is right and he knows how valuable you are. I really don't know." She made a sound in her throat and picked up the rag.
"Can I wash you?" His brow quirked in surprise but he nodded and she gently turned him back around. She squirted a fair amount of the smelly body wash into the rag and took a whiff.
"Lavender," she told him as she brought the cloth to his skin. He closed his eyes as she dragged the rag down his back and felt the tension leave his muscles. She tentatively brought the rag to his injured side and inspected the bruise. It surprised her how big of a bruise it was but it was looking better, at least.
"I hate seeing you with marks on your skin," she spoke softly. He glanced over his shoulder, tensing up again.
"I… I had a lot more than this," his voice broke and he cleared his throat. "I'm only telling you this because I agreed not to keep anymore from you. I was really bad off when I came to the Capitol the first time. I had bruises and scars that wouldn't go away. Most of them from Haemon and his soldiers. Even scars that my mother gave me. Duartyr suggested I visit this… facility, in the middle of town. They said they could… well basically, they could polish away all of my scars. So I let them do it. It didn't hurt but it felt so strange when I looked in the mirror afterwards. Like I could still feel them but there was nothing there." He pulled her hand to his forearm.
"This was where Rye pushed me into an oven when I was four. I cried and cried and he felt so bad. Mom's palms were red from spanking him that night. Guess he felt even worse afterwards." He pulled her fingers across his left pectoral.
"They wanted to test my blood when I first arrived to 2. So they used this needle so huge I thought it was a knife. They basically pushed it into my skin, twisted it a few times, and yanked it back out. I have no idea what it was supposed to prove or show, but it hurt like hell. The scar looked like a little star. I didn't hate it. It was… artistic." She bit her lip as he moved her hand across his body, mapping the key moments that he remembered. She was grateful that he was sharing with her but she wanted to cry when he told her about a particularly painful one, especially if it was from his mother. And there were a lot of those.
He trailed her fingers across his neck.
"On one of our assignments, we were supposed to arrest a group of teenagers who kept vandalizing the Justice Building. Duartyr said to rough them up a bit and let them cool down in a cell for a few nights, just to scare them. Their leader took me by surprise and flung this rope around my neck. He nearly strangled me before I was rescued by my cohort. He didn't back down so they shot him. He was still holding the ends of the rope that was wrapped around my throat. Those bruises stayed for nearly a month."
When he turned back around, Katniss ran her fingertips across his muscular back. He shivered and hung his head.
"My back was the worst," he muttered. "You saw how Rye's looked? Haemon beat me for weeks with those same whips. I remember the woman at the facility saying I might still be able to see some of those scars. They were too deep to polish away. I don't know, I can't really see my own back," he shrugged and she leaned closer to inspect his skin. Sure enough, there was the faint outline of something there. So faint that she wouldn't have noticed had he not said anything. But now that she could see them, she was filled with rage. Her blood boiled at the thought of him enduring torment at the hands of his "superiors". He shivered again at the feel of her lips across his skin.
"You said my kisses can heal you," she whispered. "They're gone. Never happened." His shoulders slumped again and he turned around to face her, pulling her in for a kiss.
"If I'm ever their prisoner again," he whispered against her mouth. "I'll just think of this and I'll be fine. Your kisses and your touch will keep me alive."
"Don't say that. Please." He took her face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together.
"We're together," he said firmly. "No one's going to tear us apart." All she wanted at that moment was to be joined with him. She climbed into his lap and nuzzled his neck. His erection throbbed against her core and he groaned. Clutching her back, he stood and stepped out onto the mat. They were both dripping water all over the floor as he carried her into the bedroom and lay her on the bed, quickly rifling through his bag for a condom.
They spent the rest of the night, lost in each other's arms, forgetting about everything but the feel of each other. Every time Katniss started to think of the rebellion, Peeta's lips and hands chased those thoughts away. Was it selfish, locking themselves in this room and ignoring the world's problems? They weren't certain but both of them had been through enough to realize that only few things mattered in the world and cherishing moments was definitely one of them.
Haymitch banging on the door was not their favorite way to wake up but Peeta pulled some pants on and rushed to let the old Victor in.
"You've got ten minutes, or I'm leaving without you," she heard him bark at Peeta.
"Like you would leave her behind," Peeta scoffed in response.
"Just get dressed. Call the front desk if you need help with bags. And hurry up. I want to get out of the Capitol as soon as possible."
"Alright, alright. Keep your pants on, old man."
"I should be glad that you decided to put some on before answering the door," Haymitch sneered. "Those marks on your neck tell me that you two were quite busy last night."
"We will meet you in the lobby," Peeta said gruffly, pushing Haymitch out the door. He could hear the Victor cackling on the other side.
Peeta rushed through the bedroom to the dresser mirror. He leaned close to examine his reflection and he quirked his brow.
"Tell me, love, do you enjoy marking me as your property?" He saw her blush in the mirror.
"Maybe I got a little carried away."
"Again."
"You weren't exactly complaining," she scowled. He grinned and turned back to face her.
"Why would I complain? I'll gladly wear a tag with your name around my neck, if you prefer."
"We won't go to those extremes. Hand me my, uh... " she cleared her throat and blushed as she reached toward the lamp, where her panties were dangling from the lamp shade. Peeta's grin grew as he hooked them on his finger and draped them in front of her. She snatched them out of the air and hid her face in her hands. He chuckled as he placed his palms on the bed and leaned in to kiss her forehead.
"Let's get dressed so we can go home." Her head shot up.
"Home." She flung the covers back and Peeta tried not to stare at her bare chest. She was unaware of where his thoughts were headed as she pulled on her underwear and grabbed some clothes from her bag.
"Are you all packed," he cleared his throat, his fists clenching and unclenching by his side. He had just spent the whole night inside her. HOW could he be aroused right now?
"Nearly! I was going to bring these bottles of wash back to Prim and Mom, do you think the hotel will notice?"
"No," he smiled as she threw all of the bottles into her bag. "They have tons." He quickly pulled his own clothes on and zipped his bag. He wished they had time to shower but he knew Haymitch was anxious to get back to 12. For however long they would be there. He doubted Snow would give them a whole month, if he was that concerned about Katniss being near 13. The more he thought about it, the more sense it made. He wondered if Minister Antonius knew that 13 was still around. Duartyr wasn't sure if Snow knew but he promised Peeta they would reach out to the President of 13. Peeta didn't know much about Alma Coin but he secretly agreed with Katniss and Johanna. Why would a district hide underground and allow the rest of the country to suffer under the government's hold?
"Ok, I'm ready," she said, pulling him from his thoughts.
"After you," he held the door for her and tried to take her bag over his shoulder but she tugged on it and gave him a look. He held up his hands and gave her a small smile as they adjusted their straps and headed down to the lobby.
Haymitch scowled when they approached.
"About time."
"Nice to see you too, old man," Katniss's scathing tone couldn't be taken seriously with her broad smile. Haymitch rolled his eyes.
"You're too perky this morning. Come on. Car's waiting." They loaded their bags into the car and climbed in. Haymitch took a swig from his flask while Katniss leaned against the window, watching the Capitol rush by.
When they arrived at the train station, Peeta noticed there were quite a few soldiers milling about. He frowned and glanced at Haymitch, whose brows were furrowed.
"Haymitch?"
"Don't talk to anyone and get her onto the train. Head straight for compartment 26. Wait there until I come find you."
"Haymitch, what-"
"I'll take care of the bags." Haymitch jumped out of the car and spoke to the porter. Peeta clutched Katniss's hand and lead her to the train.
"Welcome aboard, sir and miss," the man nodded to them. Peeta nodded and handed him their tickets before gently pushing Katniss onto the train. His hand didn't leave her back until she entered their compartment. He sighed with relief, then sucked in a breath at the sound of his name.
"Captain Mellark." Peeta shot Katniss a look before sliding the door closed. Katniss jumped to her feet and ran to the door, pressing her cheek against the glass.
"General Thread, sir. I wasn't sure when you were returning to 12."
"I was told you and your wife would be going straight to 2."
"That's incorrect, sir. We still have to pack our belongings and Katniss wants to prepare her family for the move. And we are thinking District 8 rather than 2."
"8? Are you mad? Nothing there but clothing and factories. Why would you live there?"
"It's just a thought, General. We haven't decided on anything."
"I see. Well come with me to my compartment, Captain. I'm in need of your assistance with something."
"Forgive me, General, but my wife has been feeling ill this morning and I really don't want to leave her side."
"Admirable, Captain. But orders are orders. Come with me." Katniss chewed on her lip, waiting for Peeta's reply.
"Yes sir. Let me just tell her I'll return to her in a moment." She jumped back as he slid the door open and closed it behind him. She shook her head as he took her face in his hands.
"I'll be alright," he whispered.
"Please don't go."
"I don't have a choice, love. I'll be right back."
"You don't know that! This could be like Darius! Make up some excuse!"
"I already did and he shot me down. I have to go with him, Katniss. Stay in here until Haymitch arrives." He cupped her chin and kissed her softly. "We're still on the train. What can he do to me while we are on here?" He gave her a smile as he backed out of the compartment, closing it tightly.
"Alright General. Lead the way."
"Oh, Victor Abernathy."
"General Thread. Captain Mellark. The conductor says we are leaving the station in the next five minutes. I hate to be leaving such fine food behind, don't you?"
"I didn't think you were a fan of the Capitol, Abernathy," Thread sneered.
"Oh on the contrary, sir, I always love President Snow's invitations. Gets me away from boring old 12 for awhile, am I right?"
"Indeed. If you'll excuse us, Abernathy."
"Oh I had hoped to have a word with Captain Mellark, sir, if that's alright with you."
"Concerning what?"
"Well surely you know, General, that President Snow has extended an invitation to Mrs. Mellark to join the next Victory Tour. Captain Mellark here will be accompanying her and President Snow has invited me along as well. I just need to discuss details with the Captain. Instructions from President Snow, of course.
You understand."
"Very well," Thread sounded angry. "Mellark, I will meet with you when we go back to work. Tomorrow morning, your office."
"Of course, General." Thread stomped away and Peeta slumped against the compartment door.
"Where's your wife?"
"Inside." Peeta slid the door open and allowed Haymitch to pass. He closed the door behind them and exhaled.
"Why is Thread trying to separate us," he said immediately.
"I'm not so sure if Thread is operating under Snow or someone else right now," Haymitch said worriedly.
"Wait. You think he's following someone else's orders," Katniss asked in horror. "Like who?"
"I'm not sure. But I wanted you to know, we have arranged a meeting when we return to 12."
"A meeting with whom? Darius is dead, Purnia is… let's hope we make it t 12 in time. Rye and Madge are… staying in the Capitol," Peeta paused, uncertain as to what could be said in this compartment. He assumed everywhere would be bugged, so he wouldn't say that Rye and Madge would be heading to 13 this morning. They had agreed before they left the boutique yesterday that it was safer than staying in the Capitol any longer than they had to.
"There are others," Haymitch said carefully. "Others who are interested in woodworking too. So I figured, let's spread the message to whoever is interested." Peeta shook his head. He hated the thought of bringing in more people. Bringing danger to more people. His people.
"I'm going to take a nap," Haymitch grunted and just like that, he went from a trusted member of the rebellion to District 12's old drunk again. Katniss shook her head as he let out a belch and exited the compartment.
"Ugh," Katniss waved her hand in front of her nose.
"I wouldn't mind a nap myself," Peeta said softly, moving toward the bed. "Want to join me?" She nodded and lay down on her side, Peeta settling behind her. His arms moved under her so she was nestled against his chest, his arms locked around her. Despite the fact that she wasn't really tired, his warmth made her eyes flutter closed. The last thought she registered before she fell asleep is how sweet he smelled.
"Cinnamon and dill," she said tiredly, her lips barely moving. Peeta lifted his head off the pillow for a moment, smiled down at her, then fell asleep by her side.
