People!

Thank you for all the comments on the chapters last week.

Here are more...

IT'S CHANGED (SNILY)

CHAPTER 40 A break.

Days had passed after the day Severus had told Dumbledore all about the Horcruxes and their expeditions, but they were again at the same place. The Hospital Wing. Lily's birthday, the thirtieth of January had gone too. It was a Sunday, making them get a full day of relaxation. They had simply sat under the bright sun -that wasn't so bright- celebrating her seventeenth. Austin took them to the kitchen after doing that, where they had even gotten a small cake by the house-elves. Severus had gagged at the sweetness of the treat, the others on the other hand had enjoyed it.

Back to the hospital wing, they all sighed, waiting in a far corner where the sofa was kept. They'd been here for almost… Huh? Only fifteen minutes? They thought they had spent the entire eternity here. But it had been only fifteen minutes!

They weren't allowed inside… only Shane was. Fair enough, he was the other one to have made mistakes. He needed to be there, taking stress. But then anything was better than getting bored in the waiting area, even though, it was their own decision to sit there and provide some moral support. Dump moral support!

And as they were about to doze off, the curtains opened and Shane and Selene emerged.

That was the first time they noticed that Selene had started walking in a different way. Yes, it seemed weird on her for now. Damn, she was even getting fatter. It was a little evident from the uniform robes. Muggle clothes would have surely given her out. How much fat would she be until the end? Severus had never seen anyone actually pregnant so close to him. He never had a younger sibling to see his mother like that.

That confused him. Was Selene actually pregnant? Or was she making just hiding her lack of working-out sessions by the name of pregnancy? Stupid question. He knew. But who could stop that wretched tongue sometimes? His eyes widened. Had he actually spoken that out.

Well, a flying pillow in his face gave the answer.

He squeaked in surprise. "Stop throwing things in the Hospital Wing, Selene!" he yelled, partly to ask her not to and partly to just get that to Madam Pomfrey's notice.

The notice reached soon and Madam Pomfrey, with pursed lips and her hands on her hips glared at Selene. "I know you'd be frustrated by idiotic questions" -yes, that was directed towards Severus, making him flush red. It had just slipped out, for Merlin's sake. – "but that doesn't give you the reason to chuck things in my wing! Understood?"

Selene shifted, looking at her feet. "Sorry and yes, Madam Pomfrey"

"Good. Now, leave. This isn't a picnic spot!"

And they all gushed out of the wing to the library, Severus escaping three attempts from Selene, trying to make him fall.

They took the seats and Severus soon had the borders of Muffliato in place.

"I so much hope that you two have sex and you get pregnant, Severus… And I'll come ask all sorts of questions to you" Selene gave a sneer. Okay, she was actually pissed by the entire questioning thing by everyone who came in her way. They all had never dared to ask another question. Of course, who would after getting hexed by a very high-hormone-ed Selene.

Severus and Lily blushed. Well, Severus was red more. How would he get pregnant? Stupid demands Selene made. His eyes widened. But what if his internal organs had changed because of her magic. Damn! He had never hated magic this much. His hands straight away went to rub his lower abdomen. Even though, if he now, possessed a uterus and a set of ovaries… from where would he deliver the baby if he gets pregnant. Through the PENIS! NO WAY!

"What did you do to me!?"

Selene blinked a few times before smirking. He perhaps, took the false threat. "Just a little… put you in shape, Severus"

"You can't do this to me!" he shrieked in panic. "Put me back!"

"I won't because I want to see a big belly of yours, Severus" she winked.

His panic seemed to rise. He looked down and inhaled in relief. At least she didn't not magic a baby in his stomach. But what if she had?! "You didn't magic a baby in here, did you?!" he pointed towards his stomach.

"Do you believe I am capable of doing that?" Selene asked in amusement, she was enjoying this.

"I don't know! What all sorts of things you do?" his breath was raged now.

"And where would I have gotten a sperm?"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

Selene opened her mouth but Shane smacked her arm. "Stop teasing him. Calm down, Severus, she hasn't done anything"

"How do you know?"

"Fiancés know everything" Shane winked; he was being over-zealous about the entire thing.

Severus rested his head in his hands before suddenly taking his wand out and shooting a stinging hex on Selene's arm.

"Ow!" she cried and rubbed her arm. "I didn't use my wand on you"

"And I didn't distress you until you hoped for hell" he retorted.

"Now, pregnancy seems worse than hell to you?"

He flustered. "No! It isn't that bad. I mean, it's just not for me"

"Of course, you are not a woman"

"I would have taken it, if I were a woman"

"You couldn't even be a woman, Severus"

He breathed out a laugh. "Come on, it couldn't be that difficult"

Selene took her wand out. "Then, let's check it"

Severus grabbed the sides of his chair and sucked in breath. "You are not doing it!"

"But I am"

Charm got up. "SHUSH UP! You both are fighting like blithering idiots!"

Severus and Selene looked at each other and then looked away in mock-scorn.

"And NO wand fights, Severus!" she glared at him. "Hand me that over, if you don't have a control on it!"

Severus kept it in… and in the wake Selene slipped her in too. "Sorry"

Charm turned to Selene. "And Selene, for Merlin's sake use your brain for once! You are about to become a mother!"

"Yes… a mother" Selene mused, sitting back in her chair. "Isn't there are better and cooler word for being a mother?"

Shane rolled her eyes in exasperation. "You are going to shut up, Selene"

She shrugged. "As you wish"

What was that emotion? They all were getting to know what all emotions came from a human. This one was kind of confusing. Relaxed or something or simply feeling stupid.

"By the way, what did Madam Pomfrey say?" Lily asked.

"I just told you all about that, Lily" Shane sat up straighter.

Lily shrugged. "Well, I was more amused by the look on Sev's face… and after Selene decided to make him a woman. Cool!"

"Are all Gryffindors this insane?" Austin muttered from a corner. He was trying to make himself unnoticeable and keep his mouth shut. He had the same questions as Severus and didn't know when Selene would snap to make the threats on Severus, come true on him.

Lily gave him a mock- offended look. "I just want to see if he'd look this hot even after being a woman"

Severus flushed red. All sorts of things Lily imagined! Gryffindors were insane! "Stop thinking about that. We can get born as the opposite sexes in the next birth… for now, bear with what I have got"

"Of course" she kissed him, bringing a hand on his neck, making him moan and then flush at the loose. He pulled back. Couldn't they just get a private place for all of that?

"If he'd actually remain hot as a woman, you'd have to get the lesbians and the men away" Austin said.

Charm raised her eyebrow. "Remain? So, you think he is hot right now?"

To everyone's surprise, red blotched appeared on either side of Austin's cheeks. "I-I… No"

Severus coughed, awkwardly. Did people actually find him hot? He had to examine himself again.

Lily smirked, teasingly and elbowed Austin. "You had a crush on Sev?"

The red blotches on his cheeks covered the entire face now. "NO! I mean, no. I did not"

Selene's gasped exaggeratedly. "My, my, Severus… you were- are in demand"

Severus kept looking down. He was feeling extremely uneasy. Couldn't they just shut up with the topic?

Shane spoke up. "Actually yes, it was Parkinson… Charm, then, that third-year girl… and now, Austin and we haven't asked the entire school"

"I don't have a crush on Severus, now!" Austin yelled in embarrassment.

"Now?" Severus whispered, and soon regretted it.

"That means you had, once, Austin" Charm teased, making him want the floor to swallow him, there and then. "Aren't you jealous, Lily?"

Lily shrugged. "He waited for me for what? -nine years? He wouldn't give up so easily, would you?" she looked at Severus.

His eyes widened. He wouldn't leave her for his own life. "Never"

"See?" Lily smiled confidently. "And then, Austin's got Marlene… they are happy on their second-floor, aren't you, Austin?"

"Absolutely" he stated strongly, before regretting it when he looked at Shane's smirking face.

"You after all accepted that, the second-floor is your hiding place" Shane squeaked with joy, he had tried to the point -if only to show and to himself- for a long time.

"What did Madam Pomfrey say?" he instantly changed the topic.

Selene huffed. "She said that the embryo is fine… and that I must take some vitamin potions and exercise daily… and have lots of vegetables and fruits… and chocolate is allowed" she gave Shane a pointed look.

Shane rolled his eyes. "Yes, you will get your chocolates, BUT in limits"

Selene inclined her head from side to side. "Yes, yes, whatever"

"What took you so long inside then?" Austin frowned.

"We didn't take long"

"Come on, you took twenty minutes, behind those curtains" Severus said matter-of-factly.

Selene gave him a 'seriously' look. "I'll see that when you get pregnant"

Severus picked up his bag and kept it in his lap, hiding his… parts. "That isn't happening"

"Do you think you could be saved by a stupid bag?"

Severus cleared his throat and took his wand out, about to make a shield around him when he heard a loud BANG! -on the table, making him jump.

Okay, how could have they missed? It was Charm. "WE HAVE MORE PRESSING MATTERS ON HANDS!"

Lily yawned. "Actually, we have nothing for a few months, Charm"

"Like this person" -Charm pointed on Severus- "hasn't seen his second Triwizard Task coming"

"Tasks don't cum, Charm" Austin said absentmindedly, gaining a loud smack on his shoulder by Charm, making him sit straighter.

"So, what hint did you get by that… egg, Severus?" Shane asked.

Severus swallowed. Why did he keep forgetting about the damn task? "It's something"

"Yes, so tell me, what is it?"

"Aaaummmm… Friends can't help" he stated confidently.

All of the others rolled their eyes, except for Lily, who narrowed them. "Sev, I know, you haven't even started to pick on the hint"

"No, I have started, I told you in the train" he scratched the back of his neck.

"And you were obviously lying. I bet my entire Gringotts account that you haven't even taken that egg out of our trunk"

Severus slumped back. "Fine! Yes, I haven't started" he muttered, avoiding anyone's gaze.

Everyone's eyes turned to him, widened, anxiously.

"Why the hell hadn't?!"

"What were you thinking?!"

"Are you planning on dying?!"

"Lost your head?!"

"I knew it!"

"SORRY! Fine!" Severus yelled and sat back in his seat.

"Lift Muffliato" Lily commanded, seriously.

"What?" he frowned.

"Lift the privacy spell around us"

"Why?"

"Because we all are leaving and you are going to work on the egg"

"But Lily-"

"Now, Severus!" Okay, the full name, she was pissed off. He ought to do it, now.

He waved his wand in the air and lifted the spell. "Done"

"Good!" Lily picked up her bag and glared at others, asking them to do the same and leave.

Severus sighed. He anyways, wasn't going to do any of it, so early. Oh, damn, it was half-past nine. Almost curfew. He would perhaps, try that in the common room.

Lily had actually left with everyone almost at curfew. How stupid of her? He rolled his eyes.

*Page Break*

He tip-toed down the creaky staircase. Fucking hell! They were so noisy, enough to wake the entire Slytherin house up! Couldn't they just shut up? The last one and he was over with them.

He sighed in relief once he was down the stairs and then looked around to find a place where he could properly sit and find a thing or two about, the charge, Lily was so upset for. He shook his head. Even if he got the perfect spot, the DAMN egg screeched like a banshee. What was he supposed to do then? Because it was capable to waking the entire castle, he supposed.

He lightly hit his head and rolled his eyes on himself. Of course, how did this didn't come to his mind earlier? His own spell. Muffliato.

He went and sat on the sofa, placing Muffliato around himself and then kept the egg on his lap. He rotated it from top to bottom and clucked his tongue. Nothing peculiar.

He searched for any other way to open it that wouldn't make the egg screech, but still no success. How to find the hint?!

He ran his fingers on the hinges and dug them into the grooves, and finally twisted them to open it. The same happened again. The egg screeched like before making him close it instantly. He didn't want to do anymore. The noise was giving him repulsive headaches, asking him persistently to go and rest his head on the fluffy cushions of his dormitory. And so, he did.

Walked back to his dorm room, threw the egg in his trunk and gently rested his head on the pillow. Blissful sleep.

*Page Break*

The next day he woke up late and had everything rushing through. The sleep was so fine that he missed the alarm. How did he miss the alarm? He had never done that before. Well, he didn't have any time to think about that, so, he stripped himself as fast as humanly possible. He got the fresh clothes on, brushed his teeth and used the bathroom. He couldn't be getting late to the first class, now.

He threw his book bag on his shoulder and raced to the Great Hall. The starting of an adrenaline filled day. Little did he know that the day would be filled of much more, which could be easily characterized under unpleasant.

Reaching the Great Hall, he saw mostly all of his years Slytherins on the table. He frowned in deep confusion. Wait! What day was it? Yesterday, was a Sunday, that meant…

MONDAY?! They had the first bloody class free! Severus groaned. All the morning rush was for nothing. He slumped on one of the seats and buttered his bread. At least that tasted good.

After finishing he got up and realized that the Gryffindors had the that class free too. Lily probably, would be in the library. No better way to improve his mood. Lily could always get the way.

He patiently walked to the library and searched for Lily. It wasn't that difficult; she was on the table they often occupied. Completing her homework, perhaps. He took a seat next to her as she looked up at him and smiled brightly.

"Morning, Mister" she kissed him that he returned.

"Morning"

"You didn't bath today, did you?" she lifted and eyebrow.

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Do I smell?"

"No"

"Then how can you tell?" he frowned and looked at her, through a strand of unbrushed black hair that came to the front of his face.

Lily put that behind his ear. "What does Shane say? Ah… Fiancé's know everything"

Severus flushed and sat up straighter. "But we aren't engaged?"

"Yeah, I know… so, I can say, I have known you since we were nine, Sev. And these sorts of friends know everything" she nuzzled her nose with his.

"Okay, I believe you" he closed his eyes.

"Well?"

He opened his eyes and tilted his face towards her. "Well, what?"

She hesitated. "What did you find about that egg?"

He sat back again and sighed. "Nothing for now"

"Nothing?"

"No, Lily. Every time I open it, it starts to screech. How am I supposed to get any hint from that, other than picturing to face a banshee?"

Lily looked away and said in a resigned voice. "I don't know. The way others are"

"I am not others, Lily" he said, frowning though. Lily had never before compared him to anyone else.

"I am aware of the fact but don't you think you must put some efforts into it" she still didn't look at him.

"I'll make something out, Lily, like last time"

"Last time, you saw the dragon by luck. That doesn't mean luck will help you every time!" she said hotly, glaring at the table.

Severus found himself taken aback. Why was she being so… moody? She wasn't like that. Did he make any mistake or something? Or was she simply frustrated of him? If that was the reason then, he was almost aware that she wouldn't want to continue the relationship. Who would anyways, want to be with a half-blood scum like he was?

"Lily, are you upset with me?" he asked carefully and softly.

Lily sharply turned to him, her face blank. "Is this all because of me?"

Severus again found himself in a position of a total messed up brain. "You?"

She nodded and her eyes grew redder as if this was inside her for a long time. "Yes, Severus, me! Have I changed you in some way?"

"Changed me? What are you talking about? We have been friends since nine, Lily! Our relationship isn't something new to us! We aren't new to each other!" he tried to reason with her- with himself.

Lily turned to him fully. "You weren't like this. You were ambitious and hard-working. I assume that you feel some kind... of-of obligation towards me! You don't have to, Severus!" she almost yelled, tears forming in her eyes.

Severus kept his hands on her knees, in a way to sooth her. She had certainly made a very wrong conception about something. "Lily, Lily, calm down. You are talking total nonsense"

Tears slipped down her cheeks and Severus restrained himself from rubbing them off. She said in a very calm voice, now. "I am talking nonsense? Severus it's you who must see how ignorant you have become of your life-"

"How am I ignorant of my life, Lily? I am fully fine, just like I was before" he wanted to explain but wasn't getting the proper words.

Lily shook her head. "No! You aren't giving proper attention to yourself, Sev! I know, our relationship has changed, but that from no ends say that we have to change… we are still the same-"

"I know, Lily. And that is what I am saying, we are still the same-"

"No! You are changing! You are feeling obligated to me, as if I am some sort of a duty to you! I am still the same Lily you loved, Sev! I don't need your attention all the time. You have your own life, for Merlin's sake! Give yourself time-"

"Lily… I-I…" his throat constricted and he didn't know what to say. She was being so sensitive to his needs and blaming all of it on herself. Was she that illogical?

"Yes, Severus! You have been neglecting yourself! I feel like you'd die like this, if you keep being with me! I feel like I am a wretchedness in your life that is ruining it-"

"Lily!" he cut her and pulled her in his lap, hugging her close to his chest. She refused to wrap her arms around him, at first, but soon couldn't resist it. She sobbed on his shoulder. She must have been feeling this way for long. And his fucking senses couldn't grab a single hint. He had made her feel this bad and he wasn't aware of that.

"I am s-sorry, Sev… I try to be p-perfect, but I can't… I want you to feel free a-around me but you aren't a-able to" she wept, in frustration.

"Shush, Lily. You are wrong about all of it. And I am sorry for making you feel this way-"

She shook her head. "N-No, it's my fault. I know that you can get so much better without me… it's me pulling you back" she got up from his lap.

The sudden gesture startled Severus. "Lily, what?"

Lily picked her books up and threw her bag on her shoulder. "I am sorry, Sev" she seemed to burst into tears again but she looked away from him to make them stay in control. "And you need a break -a break from me- some time with yourself. Trust me, you can do way better" with that being her last words she left Severus alone, with his mouth agape.

Did she just break up with him? Was this only a twisted way to say that they simply wouldn't work out? Or was she fed up of him and didn't want hurt him by saying that directly?

Tears streamed down his own face, without a single check. He was liking it; didn't mean she was too. He had never even expected her to fall for him, in the first place. It was all a try from her side about his best friend, perhaps. He was going to die alone. If not Lily, then no one.

He leaned forward in his chair, his hair falling in the front, almost like a shielding curtain around his face. He had left that habit. Had tried to face everything that came through, but somethings were just as inevitable as death.

He didn't know for how long did he sit like that. Feeling totally numb. He had lost his friend again. And it was all because of his own self.

He hadn't even heard the bell ringing for the next class… or for the other after that. He just kept sitting there. Thinking about nothing. He had always wondered why were people so distressed in break-ups, until he felt it himself. And he was fool enough, to have accepted the relationship to be long-termed. He chuckled hollowly at himself.

He didn't even try to move the stoned position when he heard the two voices coming in his direction. He didn't acknowledge their presence.

"No, Shane! Why can't you get the point, idiot?! It is the wand going up but your hand stays down… keep it like this… Ughh, like me! You can't do it! Forget it!"

"No! Teach me! I can't be bad at charms. Fine, I'll ask Lily to teach that to me. You can go fuck your fiancé"

Severus winced at the name. He didn't want to hear even her name. It stabbed like a sword in his chest.

"Crazy? I am not wasting my time fucking you. I'll better go and arrange a date with… Sirius Black"

"Sirius Black?! You just went to the Yule Ball with him!"

"So, are you jealous, Sha- No! Mister Singh-Solace?"

"Uh, I don't know, perhaps, I am jealous… how can you give that to anyone, other than me? Huh? By the way, I like your surname with mine. That suits, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, the Singh-Solace. And it's simple. You just need to get in the mood and need a bed… well, I am fine with a class desk too"

"Eww, Selene! You talk disgusting!"

"Do I? Fine. Don't test all of that with me"

"Come on, now, stop being so pricey… Uh, Severus? Don't you have a class?"

On his name he looked up. He blinked a few times to take the situation in. Who was standing in front of him? He blinked again. Shane and Selene.

"What?" he asked.

Selene rolled her eyes. "I said- Uh, Severus? Don't you have a class?"

"I-I… I missed it perhaps, was just… involved into something else" he said, his voice devoid of any emotions.

Shane and Selene took a seat across him. Shane frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" Severus forced a smile.

That wasn't very difficult for Shane and Selene to make out. They had known him for long, now, and they had seen many phases of his life in that time. They knew that was troubled about something.

"What were you involved in?" Selene raised her eyebrow.

He looked up. "Umm… homework"

"Without any book on the table?"

He checked the table that was absolutely clear. His bag was kept in a seat too, totally unopened. "I-I was reading a book and then kept it in the shelves"

"Which book?" Shane asked casually, opening his own bag, trying to give him some space, and not interrogating him directly.

"I-It was a potion's one" Severus answered without paying a single attention to what he was saying.

Shane sighed, turned to him and looked him dead in the eye. "You were upset"

Color rose to Severus' face. "No" he looked away.

"Yes, you were" Shane stated confidently. "What is up your mind?"

"I-I… I couldn't get any hint for the second task" he said, feeling guilty for the thing that had made the real mess. And then, he wasn't lying entirely.

"The second task?" Selene raised her eyebrow, skeptically. No one would cry for that. And especially, not Severus.

"Yes" Severus said loudly before picking up his bag and getting up from the chair. If they continued to ask him questions, he would truly breakdown again.

"Where are you going?" she asked, frowning.

He didn't stop to look back. "Just out somewhere to get some fresh air. Will meet you later"

And he left, leaving the other two utterly confused.

*Page Break*

Lily ran away from the library, wiping her tears off. Away from Severus. She winced. Even his name made her feel like a stab of sword in her chest. She couldn't bear the idea of staying away from him, but it was needed. She knew that he needed sometime, with himself. For himself. Alone. He investing too much in her and forgetting about his own wants. He had to acknowledge his own ideas, like he did before.

She was aware that he was insecure about her leaving him if he didn't do pay much attention to her. But he was damn wrong, and him thinking this way, made Lily so frustrated that she could have pulled her hair out.

She tried to calm herself from the incessant sobs. She had made the right decision. She needed to give Severus some time. She knew he could do so much better than he was.

She didn't know, where did she run to, but when she looked around, she was surrounded by, more than six dozen owls and dried grass. The Owlery. She laughed at herself, hollowly before starting to sob again.

"Lily…?" a whisper met his ears and she hastily wiped her tears away.

It was Remus, who stood frowning at her. He approached her took a seat beside her.

"Hi, Remus" she didn't look at him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concerned.

"What's wrong? Nothing. Nothing's wrong" she denied, fully well knowing that her cracking voice and already tearing eyes hadn't made anything she said, convincing.

He kept a hand on her shoulder, making her jump. "Of course, you are upset. I wouldn't pry, but you can tell me, if something is bothering you"

Lily looked into his eyes and the sincerity, just brought more tears. She wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head on his chest, weeping helplessly.

Remus didn't complain. He simply rubbed comforting circles on her back and let her cry herself out.

She seemed totally relentless at first, but gradually she was able to control herself. She pulled back and wiped her eyes with her sleeves.

"I am sorry" she said, hoarsely, embarrassed by the display.

"It's alright" Remus smiled, trying to make her feel comfortable. "Now, are you ready to tell me?"

"I-I… It's about someone, and I wouldn't want to violate his privacy" she looked away. Severus. Severus. Severus. Couldn't she take him out of her mind for a while? She wanted so badly to talk to him, but she wouldn't.

He frowned. "I understand" he hesitated before finally speaking. "Is it about Severus?"

Lily sharply turned to him, her eyes wide and full of fear and apprehension, and took his hands into hers. "You wouldn't tell anyone, would you?"

Remus shook his head. "No… but did you both fight? Because-"

"You saw him?" she asked desperately, clutching his hands tightly.

"I-I didn't, but Sirius did. He was saying that he seemed… well, snarky again" he shrugged. "I know the reason, now"

Lily chuckled. "He isn't very good, dealing with emotions"

"Fair enough"

"Didn't Sirius say anything else?"

"Well, was kind of pissed off before noticing that was upset too"

Lily's eyes widened. "They didn't have a fight, did they?"

"No!" he shook his head immediately. "Sirius left after he…"

"He what?"

Remus blushed and cleared his throat. "After he said that Sirius, must be with his wolf showing off his dog tights"

Lily chuckled. "He hadn't left his humor, has he?"

"Absolutely not. Though, I was going to give him a chocolate"

"A chocolate?"

"Yes, that is the absolute solution for everything… he already has taken many from me… it was one of my favorites too"

"Oh… so, it was you suppling him with chocolates"

Remus bowed. "What do you think?"

"That Sev, will get his chocolates" she chuckles again, but the thought of leaving him, made her sad once more.

He stood up. "So, I'll go give them to him… if you are fine?"

She smiled and nodded. "I am fine… Thank you, Remus, you were of great help"

"Just the duty in friendship. I'll see you later" and with that he left the owlery, and leaving Lily with her thoughts one more time.