Chapter 11

Ever since her arrival back in Seattle, Carly seemed to desperately want to get caught up with Freddie. Either by fate, coincidence or design, there always seemed to be a reason for him to not allow himself to be alone with her.

Not that he felt she was flirting with him or trying to be romantic in any way, but the last thing he wanted was to send her an unintended message. He was a single parent and had little time to himself. Whether it be with Carly or any other female, he simply didn't have time for relationships. That and there was something nagging him about the last time he saw her, the way things were left.

Flashback to the day Carly left with her dad - fall of 2012

Carly kissed him out of the blue, no warning, no provocation, no nothing. She just stepped up, touched her hands to his arms and planted a kiss right on his lips. And this wasn't a "happy holidays" under the mistletoe, "thanks for saving me from a taco truck" or even an "I'll miss you" kind of kiss. It was a full on passionate "I think I like you that way" kiss. Or at least it seemed like it for the first three seconds.

And had it not been for the absolutely horrible timing, and the fact that he desperately wanted someone else, he might have given much more thought to trying to establish some type of long distance relationship with this girl. Or at least his fourteen year old self would have. Now, as a high school senior, he no longer harbored those kind of emotions toward his neighbor.

This whole thing made him uncomfortable to say the least. It was after those first three or four seconds that his anxiety at the whole situation must have been sensed by the brunette because it was obvious when it was over that she felt super awkward about it and wished it had never, ever happened. "I'm just gonna go get the suitcases from my room."

As victorious as he felt, it was awkward for him to say the least. "And I'll help you with those suitcases." It was all he could do to keep his voice from cracking like a pre-pubescent lad of twelve.

It was only after she turned her back to him that he raised his arms in victory. Contrary to outside appearance, this was not a victory for his teenage self that he finally got Carly to kiss him, not because he saved her life and she felt obligated to give him some lip action, but because she wanted to.

No, the victory lap his brain was doing in his head was of a far different reason. He was free. Free of lusting after Carly Shay, free of wanting something he couldn't have, free of an eternity of unreciprocated feelings. Free to do what he had wanted to do so badly over the last twelve plus months, to reunite with the one girl he truly loved without worrying that he was using her as a bandage on his feelings when he couldn't get with her best friend.

Sure, there was the awkward "Is it too late for you to love me?" question in the black market, school basement restaurant. Even when he uttered the words, he wasn't really sure if it was truly what he wanted or he was just trying to free himself back then. If she had flat out said no, he didn't know what he would have done.

Earlier in the day, when he was at the mall with Gibby and Sam called him. In his panic at seeing his buddy's stuck in a head replicating machine, Freddie was unable to prevent himself from blurting out the first thing that came to mind. "You want to get back together?" This was the thing he had wanted most in life since that fateful night in the elevator, to be Sam's boyfriend again.

Of course Sam was totally caught off guard by this outburst, mainly because she was trying to console her BFF, a girl that she had no idea would be walking out of her life less than twelve hours later. Still, she failed to respond in typical Sam-like fashion. There was no witty comeback insulting his manhood or making fun of his name, but a genuine question. "What? . . . Wait, do you?"

Quickly, though her own heart was pushed to the back burner as she thought of her best friend crying her eyes out across the room, because not only was her beloved daddy unable to accompany her to her last Air Force dance, but so was her brother. Add the fact that poor Spencer was puking his guts out in the bathroom and sick enough to die thanks to Lewbert coughing in his face, saying Sam was rattled was an understatement.

In short, Carly's kiss and the subsequent uncomfortable reaction on both their parts made him feel as though the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. Right now, priority was saying goodbye to Carly. After that, he would again approach Sam about their getting back together. Because heaven knows, Sam would need him as bad as he would need her. Their last months of high school would not be spent without their mutual best friend, filming iCarly, hanging out at the smoothie shop or the studio or even seeing her.

But the fates had different plans for him and the blonde. Within a matter of hours she made the decision to leave as well. She would have stayed to finish high school but without Carly, heaven knows she wouldn't have made it anyway. She would have stayed for him but she wasn't sure where she stood and the thought that she was going to be his rebound hurt too much.

Without saying goodbye, her meager things were packed and after a few hours to sleep for the first time in two days, Sam was riding out of town, heading God only knows where. She had fired off a quick email to Principal Franklin, literally the only adult that she could trust because Spencer wasn't really an 'adult'. She told the man that she was going to finish school online and asked him to share the news with her other friends at school: Wendy, Tamara, Rip Off Rodney (who had yet to graduate-despite his age), Gibby and Freddie.

Freddie opened his locker and was in the middle of reading that ominous note from Sam when Principal Franklin walked up behind him, gently placed his hand on his shoulder and invited him to his office. "Freddie. I need to speak with you about something. Would you mind coming into my office for a few minutes."

End of flashback

The next day, right on schedule, Marissa Benson returned home from her trip and wasted no time in doting over the little girl just like always. Freddie took her presence as an excuse to actually spend some one on one time with Carly. He sent off a quick text to make sure she was home and the two agreed to meet up at Groovy Smoothie a half hour later.

"Hey, Carls." He greeted, walking in and seeing her already seated.

"I ordered you a blueberry blitz, I hope you still like that flavor." She motioned for him to sit down.

"Yep. Still my favorite." He grinned as T-Bo approached with their smoothies and various, random foods shoved on long skewers.

After dismissing the man and gently letting him down that neither of them wanted a baked potato on a stick, Carly started talking. "I'm glad we finally got a chance to get together. I almost thought you were avoiding me."

Freddie sighed. "Well, to be honest I sort of was there for a little bit, but that was just stupid. I mean, you and I have always been close. I shouldn't feel awkward around you."

"Freddie, I know your life is way different than it was the last time we were in the same room together. You have a lot on your plate and a big responsibility. And your heart has been through a lot, too. I just want you to know, if you need anything or ever want to talk, or need a shoulder to lean on, I'll be here for you, alright."

"Deal. But I don't want to lead you on. I'm not saying never, but I'm not interested in finding a girlfriend or anything right now."

"Um, OK." She didn't know where this was coming from because she certainly hadn't been trying to send him any signals. In fact, after the end of her last relationship, she decided to take some time away from men for a while herself. "I'm not really interested in finding a girlfriend, either. Er, you know what I mean." She quickly recanted when he raised an eyebrow.

"So, best friends forever. Just like always." He proposed, touching her hand.

"Just like always." She agreed and they hugged, even though there were certain friendly benefits running through both their minds when their bodies were close. It had been a long time for her, even longer for him.

"You two want to be alone?" T-Bo suddenly asked, standing behind them with some other food item, impaled on a stick. "Maybe with an egg roll?"

"Oh my God!" Carly exclaimed. "Seriously? Egg rolls on a stick?"

"Actually, that sounds kind of good." Freddie chuckled and took the stick from the tall man. "OK, Teebs. Put it on my tab. Trust me, he makes good egg rolls." He told Carly.

As they ate and chatted, the subject turned to Sam and at the mention of her name, Carly could sense him tightening up. "Sorry. I didn't mean to . . . I keep bringing her up. I miss her, Freddie, don't you?"

"It's, uh, it's alright Carly." He said quietly. "It's been long enough that I shouldn't be afraid to talk about it, about her. And yes, I miss her but that bridge burnt long ago."

"Do you, maybe think you'll feel better if you talk about things?" The time she spent studying human psychology in college might actually pay off.

"What's there to talk about? We tried it again. We failed again. She ran off, back to L.A. Just like last time and I haven't heard from her since."

"I thought you guys were doing good, though. Things seemed, well, honestly, perfect. Then next thing she was gone. At least according to Spencer."

Freddie knew very well what triggered Sam's bolting from the scene but there were certain parts of his life that Carly wasn't privy to. Apparently Sam hadn't told the dark haired girl either, or maybe she did and Carly was just playing dumb to get his side of the story.

Maybe he should tell her everything. She was his best friend after all. One of his biggest secrets that even Spencer didn't know, and one he wasn't about to discuss was that he was a twenty six year old divorcee. Few people outside of the family knew he had been married, technically.

"At least I know it wasn't my fault this time." She told him, gently placing her hand over his. "Like back in high school when you guys went out and broke up because of what I said. I felt so terrible after that."

"No, you had nothing to do with it this time. We had already been over that. Believe me."

"That?" She questioned. "I'm a that?"

"Before Sam and I got back together, we kind of had it out about you." He stated as a matter of fact.

"Had it out? You didn't fight about me did you? Oh, Freddie!"

He sighed. "No but here's what happened. I thought she would have told you about this one, because it was kind of intense. The night before certain things happened when I was in L.A. and I told her thought we should try, she didn't. We still ended up getting back together once she came home, though. And it was great. That was before, well before I found out about . . . "

Carly just nodded in understanding.

"It was spring break, freshman year. I had went to L.A. to see her, right? So we did normal friend things. Hung out, whatever. Before I went home, I proposed getting back together and she hesitated."

Flashback to March, 2014

Freddie and Sam were snuggled up on her couch, he had just mentioned the idea of them being a couple again. Given the way things were going between the two, most people would have thought they were. She, of course, wasn't keen on the idea.

"What's wrong, Sam? You can't say this week hasn't been fun. At least after I got out of the hospital. And after last night and all. I know we can do this. Just give us a chance."

"I want to, Freddie. I really do. But what if . . . God, we couldn't make it when we lived in the same zip code, we don't even live in the same state, this is almost impossible." She pulled a little away from him and averted her eyes.

"I know it's scary. And I know what you're thinking, we failed as a couple when we were together every day, what makes me think this will be any better?"

"It's not just that, Captain Obvious." She tried to lighten the mood my teasing him.

"Well, what then? I haven't gotten interested in any other girls at school, I think you can trust that I'm not going to. And Cat told me how she wasn't even sure you liked boys because you never, ever went out with anyone after you met her."

"Don't lie to me, Fredhead. I know you were interested in one other girl." She frowned.

"I'm not, I swear." Of course, there was the time he dated Melanie. But he didn't want to admit that he still was hurting over that breakup. He'd tell Sam about the others, eventually.

Sam had no idea he didn't hate her sister as bad as she did. She was thinking of someone else. "So you weren't getting all smoochy with Carly the day she left?"

"Smoochy?"

"She told me about it, Freddie." She used his real name, this wasn't good. "And I know it was all awkward and weird for her, but I also know you had your wet dream come true when she kissed you."

"Sam, I . . . " He blushed and tried to think of a way to try to appease the blonde's insecurities. The truth would be best.