Chapter 12 - Flashing back to Freddie's visit to L.A. March, 2014 (The Tuna Jump)

Freddie had just brought up the idea of them getting back together. Sam was resisting.

"I don't want to be your second choice, Freddie. I'm worth more than that. I'm more than a sidekick. You know, for years I suffered that stigma and I tortured myself to be more like Carly and Melanie and every other perfect princess in the world. And I won't go through it again. I'm no one's consolation prize. I deserve to be happy myself, with myself and for myself, and I am. If that means being alone, so be it, but I'm not willing to sacrifice my self worth to make someone else happy. The truth is, I'm happier than I've ever been. I'm not just going to be the girl who lives to appease someone else at the cost of her own sanity."

"Sam, baby. Where's this coming from?" Freddie took her hands in his and forced her to turn to face him directly. "You're not my consolation prize. I love you for you. And I always have. I accept you as you are. Rough edges, butter socks, two states away and all."

"But what if she comes back?" Sam questioned. "Carly's not going to be in Italy forever."

"Sam. Do you know what I felt that day?"

The girl shrugged, not knowing where he was heading. "Victory?"

"Relief. I threw my hands in the air in victory because I was free. I knew that kiss meant absolutely nothing to me and it never would. It was awkward, it was mundane, it was nothing I ever dreamed of. I knew right then and there that as much as I love Carly as a friend, I was ready to move on from ever, ever thinking I wanted a future with her."

"And what about in the restaurant? When you asked 'Is it too late for you to love me'? I heard that conversation. And it really hurt? Those nine words have haunted me ever since. You tore me up with that one, Freddie."

"It wasn't like that, Sam."

"Well how was it, then? Because it pretty much sounded to me like you were back to groveling for her affection."

"OK, maybe on the outside it seemed that way. But it was during that time when you were so wazzed off at me that you would rather hang out with Gibby than me. You never gave me a decent word and constantly did things to not only annoy me, but demean me."

"Oh, and you hadn't been acting like a complete d-bag for a couple of months at that point." She snipped, still defensive.

"I know. And I'm sorry I was like that with you." He begged. "The thing is, I was kind of jealous about you spending so much time with Gibb and the restaurant was such a success and you two seemed like you were getting close."

"Guh-ross. Close to Gibby? I mean, sure as a friend but why would you ever be jealous of me and that mermaid?"

"You stood up to Billy Boots for him. Something you wouldn't even do for me. It really hurt, Sam. To think that you could care that much about someone else. And I just wanted to know if there was anyone who could ever love me, or if I was a complete, unlovable jerk. I had to ask someone, I knew what you'd say and you'd probably beat me up to boot."

"So you were stringing her on, too. Dude!"

"Not at all. Deep down inside, I knew she wouldn't say yes, but I also knew that if she didn't and it didn't tear me up that I really didn't want her as bad as I used to."

Sam just looked confused. "You know, you've always sort of been hard to understand but I'm really not sure if I'm following this."

"Alright. Years ago, when we were kids. Like, seventh grade and Carly would reject me it hurt. Really bad. And I guess I was just either too stupid or too stubborn back then to realize that her answer on Monday would be any different than her answer the Friday before. I mean I didn't sleep sometimes worrying about what was wrong with me that Carly didn't like me that way."

"And I guess me continually telling you Carly was out of your league didn't help matters any either, did it?" Sam asked quietly, almost like she felt bad for the way she acted years before.

He continued talking about the restaurant incident. "But that time, whenever I asked her if she could ever love me, and she didn't tell me she could, it really didn't quite have the same sting to it. And she didn't even say yes as a friend, I knew I was being a complete tool and I needed to change."

"You did sort of tone down the douche factor there toward the end. It's why I thought you wanted to maybe get back together that day when you called me. But I was kind of distracted with Carly's problems."

"It was almost like 'OK, so I guess this is really the way things are always going to be', Carly would never be into me that way, and I accepted it. It took me all that time to realize it was a sign that maybe the fates had other plans for me. And if I was finally done lusting after her that maybe just maybe there was a chance for me after all. For us, you know. to get back what we once had. If I had just said yes that day when you asked me if that's why I was calling, but neither of us had a clear head that day."

Another two plus hours of conversation and Sam and Freddie agreed that after she moved back to Seattle, which she left him under the impression would be in a year or two, they would try a couple of dates, take it slow and see what happened.

End of flashback

"And I guess that's exactly what you guys did." Carly asked. "It seemed almost like, as soon as she came home, you guys were together." Carly giggled.

"Yeah, and it wasn't perfect but we did pretty well. And it wasn't slow. It was the second day she was back when we went out. Then like they say one thing led to another and within a couple of weeks we were exclusive. And it wasn't too long in that we, um, well, you know . . . "

"Freddie!" Carly scolded. "I don't need to hear that any more than what Spencer does with his girlfriends."

"We're adults Carls, not little kids." He defended. "But even I didn't think anything was going to happen so fast. Sam was Sam and we fell back into our normal routine. It was like we had never been apart. We picked up right where we left off the last day I was in L.A."

For whatever reason he felt it necessary to confess something to his old friend. "The thing is, between the time I was down to see her and when she moved home, I sort of . . . she wasn't the only girl I was, you know, like, with . . . you know, that way. And I didn't tell Sam about it, although she eventually found out."

"Well that's obvious because Sam isn't your kid's mother. Something tells me that not telling her about that is where you made your mistake."

"You're telling me! I wasn't expecting her to just up and move back when she did. I mean, the way she talked when I was down there, I thought she was going to wait until Cat was out of school or something. You know, those two were pretty tight. But then one day out of the blue, Sam called me up and told me she was moving home."

"You didn't still have a girlfriend then did you? Holy crabs! You left your girlfriend for Sam? No wonder she got wazzed off. No one wants to be that girl."

"No. There was no girlfriend, I swear. Not even close."

"So I'm guessing that's when you first hooked up with Wendy?" Carly never did get the story on why he took up with the gossipy red head and she certainly didn't know about any other girls. "Or was it someone else?"

"Yeah. Wendy, right." He had someone else on his mind but since Carly brought her up, he'd go down this particular rabbit hole. "We hadn't seen each other or talked since graduation. I was going to Seattle tech but I had a few classes at Community College over the summer, she was supposed to be in some college in Texas or somewhere. One day I saw her on campus. I asked what she was doing there. Turns out her scholarship ran out and that was the only place she could afford."

Flashback to June, 2014

"Freddie?" The girl called out as she walked toward him. "Is that you?"

"Hey, Wendy. What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Could ask you the same thing." She replied. "I thought you were going to Seattle Tech."

"I am but I'm taking a couple of the core classes here over the summer so I can get ahead and graduate early."

"Oh. Well, that's better than my reason. I lost my scholarship and this dump was the only place I could get in. I'm taking summer classes to get caught up. Hopefully by junior year I can go back to a real school and finish my degree." She said with a sneer.

"Well, that's too bad." He nodded.

"Hey, have you heard from Sam or Carly lately?" The red haired girl asked. "Sam used to call me once in a while but I haven't even heard from her since Christmas."

"Yeah. Well, mostly Sam. You know with the time difference and all it's hard to call or anything with Carly. I was actually down to visit Sam in L.A. a few months ago."

"Really? I didn't realize you two had gotten back together." Wendy was fishing for information.

"Oh no, we're not. It's a long story but I thought she got hurt so I went down to check on her and by the time I got there and realized it was just her weird little room mate pulling a stunt, I figured I'd just stay for a few days. Then I actually ended up getting hurt and she had to take care of me and we just hung out for a little bit before it was time for me to come back home."

"Hey listen, I don't want to cut you off, you maybe want to grab a cup of coffee or ice cream some time and we can get caught up? I hate to rush but I need to get to a class."

"Alright. Here, give me your phone." He handed her his so that they could exchange numbers.

For a few weeks, the two hung out on occasion and studied together. They were at the library, each preparing for a test when a fellow student walked by and handed them each flyer for a party that was happening the next weekend.

"That's unusual, a party at a community college." Wendy questioned.

"Probably just people trying to be friendly." He replied and kept studying.

"You going?"

"Nah. I'm not a partier." He responded. "You know that."

"Aw, come on. Let's go." Wendy goaded. "I haven't been to a good party since I came back to Seattle."

"You go then. I'm not into the whole party thing."

"I don't want to go alone. If Sam was here you'd go." She teased. "Mostly because she'd force you."

He finally began to break down. "Do you seriously want to go that bad?"

"Yeah. I'm not going to sit around and act like some old person. We're in college, it's time to stretch our legs, have new experiences. Besides, it's just one party. Not like it's going to ruin our lives. Even if we have a drink or two."

"You know what. I will go!" He agreed. "But I don't know about the drinking part."

"Shhhh!" Several people hissed at them.

The next Saturday evening, Freddie and Wendy got out of their ride share near the place where the invitation said to go. By the time they were half a block away they could hear the music and people shouting and cheering. There was definitely a party going on.

As the evening progressed, each of them had more to drink then they were used to. In fact, it was the first time Freddie had anything stronger than beer. He was letting down some of his inhibitions and began to look at Wendy a little differently. Of course, the tight top and push up bra she was wearing didn't make him look away. Other guys ogled her too, but she was never far from Freddie, making everyone think they were there together.

She had put away several more shots than him and was on the verge of not being able to make good decisions. She was beginning to hang on Freddie mostly because she was afraid of falling down and making a fool out of herself.

Finally the young man summoned the courage to make a confession. "Hey, Wendy."

"He-ey Fred-die!" She responded happily and grabbed his arm tighter. One thing many people didn't know was than when this girl got drunk, she also got frisky.

Nervously he spoke. "I - um, think I need to tell you something."

"Tell away." The red head laughed. "No promises I won't tell anyone, though. Depends on how good the gossip is."

"You know when we were seniors?" He said like they were ten years older than they really were.

"You mean waaay back last year." She giggled in her semi-inebriated state.

"Yeah. When we were seniors, last year." He chuckled back. "I was going to, like, ask you to prom."