Surprise! I finished my homework early today, so I decided to edit this chapter and post for those who've asked. As always, I don't own Naruto, and let me know what you think!
-BB
On or Off?
After being transported by Rinnegan to the Hokage's office and giving a full mission report to a pissed off Tsunade, Sakura headed back to her apartment. She was exhausted mentally and emotionally. Kakashi didn't get a chance to respond to her statement, because Captain Yamato entered saying they needed to get to his post as soon as possible. Even though she didn't say it out loud, she knew that Kakashi understood. She'd given him an ultimatum: they go public or it ends. Simple and straight to the point. Kakashi was here, living, breathing, and in one piece. She needed be able to live her life fully, not in sections. If Kakashi didn't want to go public, this was the end of the road. Her heart skipped in pain at thinking about Kakashi choosing to end it. They hadn't had sex, but she felt like they were close. She was determined to be in love with the first man she slept with, and she was in love with Kakashi. She already loved him dearly, so it was easy for that love to turn romantic. At least for her.
She had no idea how he felt. They'd never addressed it. After she got out of the shower, she changed into her pajamas and laid in her bed. She didn't expect to hear from Kakashi tonight. There was too much shit going on and being gone for even a day would put him seriously behind. As soon as she face-planted in her bed, the phone rang. Konoha was advancing quickly, thanks to the genius that is Kakashi Hatake. He wanted to be lazy as hell, but like Sauske said he can't change his genetics. She glanced over, seeing Ino's number pop up. Great, Sakura thought. Word was out that they were back after the shit show. She reluctantly answered.
"What, Ino."
"Is Orochimaru really on the loose again?"
"Who told you that, Pig?"
"Sai, naturally. I have the clearance to hear about it, being in the Interrogation Unit and all," Ino said smugly. Ino had to become a Jonin to join ANBU, even if it was the Interrogation Unit. Sakura never heard the end of it.
"Don't you have some flowers to kill, Pig?"
"Whatever! Anyway, I'm coming over for some mani-pedis tomorrow night, so get out of your funk. Glad you're back in one piece, Forehead! Later!" Ino hung up with out waiting for a response from Sakura. Sakura wouldn't push back on Ino too hard, as they hadn't had any time to hangout recently. Ino and Sai were probably about to get engaged as well, so they spent a lot of time together when they weren't working. And Sakura had been slammed at the hospital, because Tsunade and Shizune were grooming her to take over the children's department. It's why she hadn't had the time or inclination to sit for the Jonin exam. She simply didn't have the energy. Tsunade would be gone, but Shizune was returning to take over for Tsunade as director of the hospital. But Tsunade would be coming to take that role back in a year, tops. Sakura knew that after she got over that fear of blood, she'd never stay away from medicine too long.
Sakura had begun to nod off when she heard a knock at her door. She rolled her eyes and went to the door, figuring it was Naruto and Hinata asking to go to Ichiraku. It was painful to know that Hinata loved Ramen as much as Naruto did. She almost fell on her ass when she looked through the peephole and saw white hair. Not caring too much about her current state (she was clean, after all) she opened the door. Kakashi smiled in relief as he heard the locks turn. He wasn't sure she'd want to talk to him so soon after what happened earlier that day. She stood at the door in the paw print pajamas he'd bought her. His keen sense of smell told him she'd already showered since their return.
"Yo!" He said in his usual greeting style. Sakura stepped back, letting in him into her apartment. She closed the door behind him, then folded her arms protectively around her midsection as she apparently prepared for him to tell her it was over. She doesn't have much confidence in me, he thought wryly.
"What do you need, Kakashi? I was in bed."
"Sakura… it's seven in the evening."
"It's nice to see that you do actually have time awareness." Sakura glared at him after she glanced at the clock behind his head. It was literally 7 P.M. Kakashi shrugged carelessly, moving to sit on the sofa.
"It's helpful out in the field." Sakura stared at the back of his head with her mouth wide open. She then closed it and quickly moved to sit opposite him on the loveseat.
"So…?" She questioned again.
"Sakura… I need you to understand what going public entails. We're 14 years apart, I'm currently the Hokage, your team leader, and at one point, your teacher. Shit that you don't like will be said, and you can't react negatively. You will be dragged into politics. You will be in your 30's before I leave office. I'm sure you'll want to get married and have children in the next couple of years. You need to understand the scrutiny you'll be under, even after I marry you and if we have any children. This is not a fairytale, Sakura. It's real life. It's our lives. I need to know that you understand this." Sakura stared at Kakashi in awe as he admitted he wanted a life. With her. It was clear that he had thought all of this through and thought that they were worth it. But it had only been six months. Had she been hasty in forcing his hand? Suddenly, she felt stupid. If they went public, it would be because he didn't want to lose her, no matter the fallout.
"Kakashi… let's wait. It's only been six months and I was being hasty. I thought about Neji and Tenten and felt like… I don't know, I would miss out on life if we kept this a secret. Can we reevaluate at the year mark?" She asked, then bit her lip and she watched Kakashi watch her.
Kakashi leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees, keeping eye contact with Sakura.
"I love you." Sakura almost fell off the couch and died at his words. She caught herself before she hit the ground and felt her cheeks heat when she heard Kakashi laugh at her reaction.
"Kakashi, I didn't say that to force a love confession out of you."
"I'm aware of that Sakura," he stated dryly still watching her movements.
"Then why'd you say it? I'm not asking because I don't believe you, I'm asking because we've never discussed what this was outside of monogamy before. I mean, I call you my boyfriend in my head because I don't know what else to call you, but… I don't know! Ugh, I feel like I've forced you into a corner…" Sakura stopped talking as Kakashi got up and sat next to her. He grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers.
"Sakura, you're twisting yourself in unnecessary knots. If you want to wait another six months, I'm okay with that. If you want to do it now, I'm okay with that as well. Whatever you want, we'll work it out."
"What about what you want, Kakashi? You're just saying that you're okay with whatever I decide. This is your future, too."
"I just want you, and I want you to be happy. Tenzou saw you watching me sleep and cry. That can't happen anymore, Sakura, whether we go public or not. We must be able to work together without emotions getting heightened. We're already more emotionally connected than the average team."
Sakura winced as she thought back to that moment. She had completely forgotten where she was when the tears started.
"Sorry," She said sheepishly. "I honestly forgot where we were and the first thing I saw was you." Kakashi smiled and kissed the back of her hand.
"It happens to the best of us. So, what are we going to do?" Sakura looked at the ground, already knowing what she wanted to do, but she knew she had to mention what she suspected Ino had figured out.
"I want to wait, Kakashi. Another six months at least. I'm sorry I made such a fuss about it. Seeing our friends at the engagement dinner may have inspired some envy. But you need to know- Ino is on to us. She saw the way you looked at me, when I hugged Hinata, and she suspected something was up when you whispered in my ear earlier that night." Kakashi nodded her head, knowing the blonde had seen something that night.
"I know. Ten- er Yamato also suspects something. He asked me if we were sleeping together after your little episode." Kakashi added dryly watching the heat crawl into her cheeks.
"Oh my God, I can't believe he saw that," she groaned as she buried her face in Kakashi's arm. He laughed as he let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her into his chest. She wrapped and arm around him and looked up at him for a moment. She raised her hand to his brow and said, "I love you too."
