The next morning, Katniss was awoken by a timid "knock knock". Her eyes fluttered open and she couldn't help the wide grin that spread across her face.
"Hey little duck," her voice was scratchy from sleep.
"I brought you some breakfast," Prim indicated the tray in her hands.
"You didn't have to do that."
"Course I did," she set it across her sister's lap and tucked her hands behind her back. "I'm sorry I didn't come to see you until now."
"Prim," Katniss reached for the girl's hand and squeezed. Prim's lip quivered before she fell into Katniss's arms. Katniss held her sister tightly, rubbing her back.
"I'm so sorry," she muttered into her sister's hair. "I'm just so thankful it wasn't you."
"Or Peeta," Prim's voice was muffled against Katniss's shoulder. She pulled back a little and wiped her face.
"They said that Peeta was going to be fine."
"We don't have to talk about him, little duck. I know this is a hard time for you."
"It is but Rory fought alongside Peeta, knowing what that meant. He told me he had never looked up to a Merchant that way. He said they all took a vow, whatever it took, to get Peeta back home to you. Course then you have to disobey everyone and join the fighting yourself," Prim shrugged while trying to hide her smile.
"I heard what you did," she continued, squeezing her sister's hand. "That was so brave, Katniss. And Peeta's powers! Did you know?"
"There were suspicions. You know what's in that notebook. Snow wanted to extract all magic from his blood when he was young. That's why his parents' betrayal hurts even more. So many lies about his past."
"You have no idea," Prim muttered under her breath. Katniss's brow furrowed.
"What do you know, little duck?"
"Nothing. I just meant I'm sure they have lied about a lot of things." Prim wanted to tell her sister the truth about her parentage but she knew Katniss would immediately tell Peeta, and Peeta deserved to hear the truth from his family. Bran had promised to tell him once his son was healed. Prim had seen Peeta's injuries and knew that could take awhile. So she clamped her jaw and shrugged again.
"Here, why don't you sit with me and tell me everything? How was it, working with Mom and Doctor Everett?"
"Katniss, I learned so much," the girl's eyes lit up and Katniss smiled.
"Tell me all about it."
As soon as Katniss was finished eating, Prim checked her vitals and Doctor Everett came in shortly after.
"Well Katniss, it looks like no lasting damage. Are you still having problems with your hearing?" Katniss nodded, having to lean in to hear him.
"Just in this ear."
"It should go away though it may take some time. Just turn your head when someone is speaking to you. I'll go ahead and start on your discharge papers. Prim can help you move into Peeta's room."
Once Katniss was dressed and Prim had helped braid her hair, they each grabbed a bag and walked the few feet to Peeta's room.
He was just finishing breakfast and looked better than he did yesterday. Katniss's heart skipped a beat at the broad smile he gave her.
"Hey, there are my two favorite girls."
"You're such a sap," Prim said though she bent down and hugged him tightly. Katniss went to him and gave him a quick kiss, not wanting to linger and upset Prim.
"How are you feeling today?"
"So much better," he smiled and sat up against the wall. "I have my first prosthetic fitting today and I was hoping you would be there?"
"Of course," she ruffled his hair, something she remembered seeing her mother do to her father. He closed his eyes and purred in contentment.
"I need to get going but I'll be back to check on both of you later," Prim gave a little wave and smile as she set Katniss's bag down and backed out of the room. Katniss went to sit on the cot but Peeta grabbed her hand.
"Come lie with me."
"Peeta, you're hurt. I would just hurt you more."
"No you won't," he pleaded. "I just need you near."
"I'm right there," she laughed, waving toward the cot. He blinked his big blue eyes and she rolled hers.
"I can't believe something like that works on me," she grumbled, moving over to his bed. She pulled the blanket up and around him and lay down beside him. He tried to move his arms out from under the soft blanket but she shook her head.
"This is so I can't touch you directly and hurt you."
"Katniss, you won't hurt me," he tried to argue through a yawn.
"Get some rest," she said in his ear, causing him to shiver. "I'll be right here."
"K," he replied, his eyes already closed. She leaned in to kiss his cheek and nuzzled close. She was surprised that she woke up an hour later and he still dozed in her arms. She closed her eyes again and shifted against him. He turned over in his sleep and wriggled out of the blankets. She sighed when she felt his arm drape over her waist and she wriggled backwards until his hips cradled her. He sighed contentedly, burying his face in her neck. His warm breath on her ear made her relax even more, causing her to sink into the blankets. She tucked her hand underneath her chin as her mind fought against the images that threatened to consume her dreams. When she closed her eyes lately, all she could see was Peeta, bloody and mangled and Prim, burned and reeking of death. She saw the thousands of corpses that lay around District 12, and she saw her own father, squeezing his eyes shut against the deadly blow. Normally these images would be too much and she would force her eyes to stay open and stare at the ceiling.
This morning, however, her husband was alive and warm and relaxed and right there. It was enough to drive the images away. She allowed herself to be swept away by sleep and surprisingly enough, she had no nightmares. It was as if Peeta was her human shield once again and kept the horror away. His arm tightened around her as he shifted, his leg hiking up and draping over hers.
When she woke up again, it was to the sight of two brilliantly blue eyes and a sleepy smile.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered, stroking her cheek.
"Prim's right, you are a sap," she pretended to swat at him but laughed anyway. "How long have you been watching me sleep?"
"Not long. Haymitch came in a few minutes ago to check on us. He said the meeting at HQ is at lunch time. Tigris is providing lunch. Prim came in to say
hello again too."
"I'd better get going then. I'll be back for your fitting," she assured him as she sat up and re-braided her hair.
"Wait… Katniss, don't move," he threw his hands up and she froze. He leaned over the bed and scrambled through his bag. He withdrew a notebook and her eyes widened.
"Where did you get that?"
"Prim brought it to me," he said as he flipped the pages. "She said you have all my sketch pads back in 13. She thought this might help take my mind off things." She silently thanked her sister for being so considerate.
"Don't move," he said again. "The way the light is hitting you and the way you are arching your back…. You're a vision. Just hold on." He balanced the sketchpad on his knee and his hand flew across the page. She tried to stay as still as she could, freezing when he would yell her name indignantly.
"Just a few more minutes," he murmured as he started to shade.
"Peeta, my arm is starting to hurt." The artist had completely taken over, as he ignored her protests, his tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth, his nose scrunched up in an adorable way. He was no longer a broken soldier; his soul seemed to shine through his eyes as Katniss watched him draw. It was the only reason she endured the cramping.
Finally, he set the pencil down and held the sketchpad up.
"It's beautiful, Peeta," she said quietly, her emotions threatening to spill over.
"You're beautiful," he said simply. She moved closer so she could kiss him; the sketchpad slipping out of his lap and landing on the floor. His hands went to her hair as he returned her eager kiss.
"You've made me late with your artistry," she said against his mouth.
"Sorry," he didn't sound sorry at all.
"I gotta go." He nodded but didn't stop kissing her.
"Peeta."
"Ok, ok," he tore away from her lips, giving her a sheepish grin.
"I'll be back soon," she leaned in to kiss him again and he actually whined when she moved away.
She hoped Haymitch was still here somewhere. Or maybe Madge and Rye hadn't left yet. Someone to show her the way to HQ.
Luckily, Rye was coming out of Madge's room when Katniss was passing.
"Katniss, hey."
"Hey Rye. Are you going to the meet…. The luncheon?"
"Yeah, on my way there now. You?"
"Yeah. Mind if I walk with you?"
"Not at all. Madge isn't feeling well so I said I would give her all the details when I get back."
"Peeta isn't happy about missing it as well, but I expect it will be boring."
"How are you feeling," he asked as they exited the hospital.
"Fine," she shrugged. "I was technically discharged this morning and moved into Peeta's room."
"That's good. I know he appreciates that."
"Neither of us can stand to be apart for too long," she shrugged again, as if that explained everything.
"I wanted to tell you, I think it was really brave, what you did." Why was everyone calling her brave, when they were out there fighting too?
"All of you were out there fighting. It wouldn't have been right for me to stay behind."
"All of us weren't already injured," he said patiently. "I'm just saying, I know you technically disobeyed your Colonel but I think it was pretty badass," he shot her a wink. She grinned.
"Thanks Rye." He nodded and they were silent most of the way. The Capitol was quiet, with rebel soldiers standing on every corner. Katniss wondered where all the Peacekeepers were. Had Coin placed them under arrest? She assumed Paylor's troops were stationed all throughout the City but where were all the citizens? Still evacuated? Under house-arrest? She hoped they were ok. The Capitol might be twisted but the people who lived there had been brought up that way, for many years. They didn't think for themselves because the Snows had been thinking for them, or telling them how to think. They needed to be educated, not punished.
Peeta was rubbing off on her, she thought. She knew Gale would say to punish them all.
"Hey," Rye suddenly stopped, setting a hand on her shoulder. "Did you know about Peeta's powers… and Mom?" She hesitated for a moment.
"We found some documents about your Mom and… Peeta's… capture." She refused to refer to it as a transaction. Peeta was not a piece of property and saying that his mother sold him just made her sick to her stomach.
Rye, however, had no such qualms.
"She sold him. To the Capitol."
"Yes, Rye."
"But WHY?"
"I'm not sure if I should be the one… I mean, I'm sure Peeta will tell you all when we get back to 13."
"Do you really think he wants to return to 13, where our mother is? If I know my brother at all, knowing what he knows, he will want to stay as far away from her as possible. It wouldn't surprise me if he wants to stay here."
In the Capitol? No, Peeta would never want to stay here. But he might want to move elsewhere. Katniss was fine with that. She wasn't a fan of 13 either. But Bran had told her that his mother wanted to apologize and Peeta still loved his family, despite everything.
She took a shaky breath and bit her lip.
"Your mother… was involved in my father's death."
"What?" Rye's blue eyes widened. They looked so much like Peeta's it was startling. But Peeta's, she noted, were brighter and clearer. She imagined they were much like the clear oceans of 4, like the ones Finnick and Annie told her about.
She shook herself and forced herself to focus.
"It's a long story and I'm sure he will tell you. It was your mother and your uncles who turned my father in. Your mother tried to intervene and got in trouble with the Capitol. Snow said he would take her eldest son in exchange for keeping her out of prison. She offered Peeta instead."
"But… he was a child! What could Snow want with a child? Even Peacekeepers start training at a certain age."
"The documents we read included letters from Snow to this horrible woman. They talked about using him for experiments here in the Capitol. Snow claimed to have encountered a witch who told him that Peeta was magical and protected. That's why they couldn't take him until he was older. It's why you were both kidnapped when he was a teenager. He couldn't leave the district until he was 16."
"My god," Rye breathed. "I had no idea. We had no idea. Bing and I, we always knew what the district said about Mom. And yes, she did like to hit us. Peeta most of all. I thought Dad would do something but he never did. I tried to look out for Peet as best I could. We were the closest, being so close in age. Bing was too much like Mom but he was still a good big brother to us. He tried to keep the Peacekeepers from taking us that night. I always wondered, why us. Why did the Capitol want a couple of teenagers from District 12. Peeta… well, don't tell him I told you this, but he cried on my shoulder the whole way to 2. Kept apologizing to me and saying it was all his fault. I didn't understand. I told him I was glad I could keep an eye out for my baby brother… but then, as I'm sure you know, we were separated when we got to 2 and they did all that horrible stuff to him and I… didn't keep an eye out for him," he ended miserably.
"He doesn't blame you, Rye. If anything he blames himself. Snow came for him when he was little. He knew it was a matter of time before the Capitol came for him again. I'm thankful you were with him though. Without you and Duartyr, I don't want to think about where he would be right now."
"Madge is right, you really can turn anything around," he said with a weak smile.
"Trust me, I can't. It's your brother rubbing off on me. He's a frickin ray of sunshine." Rye let out a burst of laughter.
"He always was. I'm glad to see his spark is back, thanks to you." Katniss didn't bother correcting him. Peeta himself had told her she had saved him from the darkness. She wanted to tell Rye about Peeta drawing again this morning but somehow that seemed a little intimate and she decided to keep that between her husband and her.
They reached HQ and Rye knocked, muttering the password. Tigris held the door open for them, smiling as she allowed them to pass.
"I'm glad to see you are both well," she said in her quiet voice.
"Thanks for coming, both of you," Cretus ushered them inside. "I know you both have significant others in the hospital whom you don't want to leave. So this won't take long."
"We both have IMPATIENT significant others," Rye grinned as he wandered into the dining room and took a seat. Finnick was using the radio behind them.
"I'm so so happy, Annie. I can't wait to hold you in my arms again. OK, I love you too. I'll see you soon, ok? Bye honey." Finnick clicked the radio and when he turned around, Katniss saw that his sea-green eyes were swimming.
"Finnick, is everything ok?"
"Better than ok," Finnick pulled her into his arms and she stifled a cry. "Annie is pregnant!"
"What, really?"
"I'm so happy, Katniss," he said softly. "I could have never possibly imagined this happening… the way things have always been, how I always thought they would be. I can't wait to get back to Annie, I'm sure she is glowing!"
"I'm happy for you, Finn. For both of you," she assured him. She truly was. She knew what he meant when he said he could have never imagined it happening. Being a slave to the Capitol, Finnick Odair would never have been able to have a family.
"And you helped make it happen," she squeezed his hand. "He will know how his daddy helped freed Panem and made it possible for him to be born."
"Oh my god, a son," he almost laughed. "I hadn't even thought… what if I have a son, Katniss?"
"Better be careful, he might grow up to be like you," she laughed and winked. Finnick's smile faded just for a moment before she cupped his chin.
"I'm kidding," she said firmly. "That would be a terrific thing. He will have both you and Annie inside him. Or her. I'm sure you'll make an amazing dad no matter what Annie has."
"Hey you two, can you stop chattering so we can start this meeting?" Katniss glared at Haymitch but Finnick's smile refused to drop.
"OK we can start but I just have to tell everyone… Annie is pregnant!" The room broke into applause and congratulations. Haymitch clapped his shoulder and Johanna actually hugged him.
Still grinning broadly, Finnick cleared his throat and clapped his hands.
"Alright, alright, now let's get down to business cause I know we all want to get the hell out of the Capitol as soon as we are able!"
Katniss was grumpy when she returned to the hospital. Cretus and Haymitch had droned for what had seemed like hours and Katniss was much later than she thought she would be.
When she entered Peeta's room, she bit her lip nervously. Peeta was perched on the edge of the bed, one foot planted firmly on the floor while his other leg dangled, his face in his hands and his hair completely mussed as if he had been running his hands through it all day.
"I'm sorry, Peeta," she said meekly, lowering her head. "I didn't realize how late it was." He didn't say anything, didn't even look at her, so she edged toward the bed.
"Peeta?" He still didn't acknowledge her so she sat on her cot and watched him warily.
"Please don't be mad at me. It was Haymitch's fault, he kept going on and on." He reached his hand out toward her, still not lifting his face. She squeezed his hand.
"Please say something." He tugged her hand and she moved to the bed, sitting behind him. He brought her arm around him and sighed against her skin. She kissed his shoulder and his neck and he finally lifted his head.
"It was probably a good thing you weren't here for the fitting."
"Why, what happened?"
"I just got… frustrated." That was an understatement. He had thrown things, yelled at the pretty nurse, knocked over his cart, and screamed at Doctor Everett to get the hell out of his room.
"Why," she pressed another kiss to his bare shoulder and he shivered.
"It just didn't go very well. It was painful and irritating and he talked and talked and told me things I didn't want to hear. I need to apologize to him and to my nurse. I probably would have yelled at you too. I'm in lots of pain and I need some fresh air and I just… I don't feel like myself, Katniss. This isn't me."
"Baby." She had never used pet names before and she didn't know if she liked it, but Peeta shivered again and glanced at her over his shoulder, his lips curled upwards. "It's going to take time. I have been telling you that. You have to be gentle with yourself and don't push. Your mind, your body… it's all been through so much. But I'll be by your side, helping you as much as I can, in whatever way I can. You can trust me. I won't run away because I love you so much. And I… didn't think I would ever say those words. But I'm here, saying them to you. So just let yourself be loved and depend on me a little. Don't think that you have to do this alone." Peeta turned slightly and threw his arms around her. He pressed his cheek to her chest and her steady heartbeat comforted him. She was here, the love of his life, the woman he had pined for, was here, saying these wonderful things and telling him she loved him.
"Why don't you get dressed and we can go outside for a little bit? It's a pretty day out." He wanted to respond that he wasn't able to walk and he didn't want her to push him in a wheelchair. But he knew she was trying to help and some time outside did sound nice. Time with her sounded even nicer. So he smiled and nodded and she fetched some clothes from his bag, helping him with his pants.
"I guess I'll need to cut off the left leg out of all of these."
"Just because today's fitting didn't work out doesn't mean the next one won't. You'll walk again, Peeta. And the doctor left you some crutches, in case you don't want to take your chair." He was about to say yes, he would use the crutches but he was already exhausted and in pain from trying the prosthetic.
"I'll let you wheel and dine me a little," he said with a grin. She snorted and rolled the chair closer, helping him stumble into it.
He inhaled deeply as she pushed him through the doors. It was actually quite cloudy but he appreciated the breeze and the warmth. They didn't talk much as she pushed him through the gardens. It was actually quite beautiful, he decided. He expected it to be fake, like most things in the Capitol, but the roses were brightly colored and stunning. As long as there were no white roses…
"Can we stop for a minute," she asked above him.
"Of course." She parked him beside a bench, underneath a row of orange roses. He smiled up at the flowers and she watched him, smiling herself.
"I forgot to tell you, Annie is pregnant."
"What? She is?" His eyes widened.
"Finnick just found out. He's so excited."
"Yeah, I can imagine. Wow. Tell him congratulations from me next time you see him."
"He's so ready to get back to 13 to Annie."
"I wonder if they will raise the baby in 13," Peeta mused.
"I imagine Finnick will take them back to 4. They both talk about the ocean a lot and how much they miss it."
"Where would you like to live, Katniss?" She cast a sideways glance at him.
"It doesn't matter to me."
"If you could live in any district, where would you live? Or would you want to stay in the Capitol?"
"Definitely not the Capitol. Maybe 4. Or 7. What about you?"
"Wherever you are." She rolled her eyes.
"Peeta, that's not an answer."
"Well I'm serious," he shrugged. "You're my home. Whenever you want to go, I'll be happy."
"Even if I want to go back to 12 and help rebuild?" She didn't know why she'd said it. No one had spoken about returning to 12. She didn't even know if it could be rebuilt.
But it was home. Her forest, his bakery. It could all be regrown and rebuilt.
"Is that what you want?" He blinked up at her, his eyes curious.
"I don't know. Maybe one day. We can figure it out later."
"If you don't want to return to 13, we don't have to. From what you've told me, I wouldn't like it much. I can't imagine anyone living underground."
"We'll go where you want to then," she stroked his hair. He closed his eyes for a moment.
"I'd like to see the beach. You can teach me how to swim."
"4 it is then," she smiled, leaning in to give him a tender kiss. The stress of the day melted away from that one kiss. Doc Everett's advice and news faded away, the pain and humiliation of falling repeatedly, the anger he felt inside him, it all just disappeared to the back of his mind. He knew it was there, he knew it would rear its ugly head again, but for the moment, he could enjoy his time with his wife.
He cupped her chin and deepened the kiss, his hand sliding into her hair.
"Can I take your braid out?" Surprised, she nodded and he slipped the band off and onto his wrist. He moved closer, both hands going to her hair and his lips pressing against hers.
"You have to understand Peeta, this will change a lot of things."
"I know that," he huffed, using the crutch to stand up.
"No, I don't think you do. Amputees feel depression, pain, both physical and phantom, psychological trauma, sexual dysfunction. And it all messes with your mind. You have to be gentle with yourself. Do not push yourself too hard. Allow yourself to depend on Katniss. She won't run away from you, no matter what you tell yourself. You will feel hopeless and angry and confused but she will help you. You won't feel like yourself and it will take time before you do again. Just be kind to yourself. Do you understand?" He nodded, sweat pouring down his neck and running into his shirt.
"It hurts, Doc."
"This might not be a good fit then. See if you can take a step." Peeta let him take the crutches and took a tentative step forward. He immediately fell to his knee, crying out in pain as he cracked his kneecap.
"Shit!"
"OK, we took it too quickly. You are used to a rapid recovery and that's not what this is. This is a long healing process. You need to take it slow. Let's take this off and we will try again in a few days."
He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers. She blinked up at him as he squeezed his eyes shut.
"Are you alright?"
"Hm? It's just been a long day."
"Are you ready to go back?"
"Can I just stay here forever?"
"In this spot," she giggled.
"With you in a beautiful place."
"Where we go, there will be love so it will always be a beautiful place." His eyes shot open and he smiled.
"How poetic of you, Mrs. Mellark."
"You're rubbing off on me, Mr. Mellark."
"OK, let's go back. I may need your help taking a shower."
"Of course. Let's go." He cast the orange flowers one last smile as she wheeled him back toward the hospital.
"How about a bath instead? That will be easier on you." She'd noticed that the room had a bathtub and a fairly large one at that. It was odd for a hospital room, she thought, but it would come in handy.
"That sounds nice," he nodded. "As long as you join me."
"I can do that."
Once the tub was full, she went back to where he was sitting on the bed. He pulled his shirt off effortlessly, then stood on one leg as she helped him with the pants. He inhaled sharply when she pulled his underwear down with his pants and he stood on one leg, completely naked.
"Well this isn't awkward at all," he breathed.
"I thought you didn't care if I see you."
"You, I don't mind. I just think we're giving the rooms across the building a show," he waved his hand behind him, where the curtains were still open. Katniss stifled her laughter as she drew the curtains and helped him hobble into the bathroom.
"There is no way you can lift me into that," he frowned down at the tub.
"Quit underestimating me." She scooped him up and carefully placed him in the water. He gazed up at her as she stripped off her clothing and sat behind him.
"I forgot you stole my serum. You're stronger than me now."
"I am not," she laughed as he splashed her. "I've had to lift very heavy deer carcasses in my life, and besides, you're still stronger than me."
"You could have left it at I'm still stronger than you," he leaned back, his curls tickling her nipple. She giggled and swatted at him and he splashed her again.
"And I should be furious that you stole the rest of the serum. I don't like this whole slow recovery thing. I demanded that Doc Everett make another batch today and he got snippy with me."
"Because you were snippy with him?"
"Maybe a little," he said sheepishly. "OK, a lot. But it took a lot out of me! I was exhausted and hurting and angry- I just wanted him to leave."
"Don't forget these people are trying to help you," she stroked his cheek with her knuckles. "Be nice."
"Everett warned me that I won't feel like myself… for awhile. I'll be limited to the things I can do. That includes, um," he indicated his lower half. Katniss glanced down then back up at him in confusion.
"Amputees- I fucking hate that word, by the way- sometimes have problems… with sexual situations. He told me it might be difficult to get hard, especially after I have the prosthesis fitted. And I immediately told myself that you would leave, that you NEED to leave, because you need a man who can care for you and satisfy you in every way. You don't need a broken man. BUT," his finger flew to her lips as soon as he saw her open her mouth, "then you came in here and said all of those perfect things and I actually believed you. I know you're not lying. I know you love me and that you won't leave me. I'll let myself depend on you, and listen to you when you tell me I'm not broken. And I swear I will keep you satisfied, Katniss, even if I don't… I mean, if I can't… I can always make you feel good."
"Peeta," she grasped his face in her hands and leaned down to kiss him. He lifted a dripping hand and tugged on her hair, pulling her closer.
"We'll get through it. Like everything, we'll get through this together."
"Together," he smiled up at her. "I love the sound of that."
They washed each other with a cloth and Katniss dried both of them off, and helped him into a pair of underwear before he hobbled over to the bed. He lay on his side while she faced him, laying in his arms and her nose pressed to his chest.
"You haven't told me what happened at the meeting," he said quietly.
"Haymitch talked. A LOT." His laughter made them both rumble.
"Was anything decided? Do they have any leads on who may have attacked us?"
"Leo and Haymitch both think it was a set-up. That Coin stole a Capitol craft and was aiming for one of us, me most likely. Gale and Vick defended Coin while Finnick, Johanna, and Rye agree with Haymitch and Leo."
"And you? What do you think?"
"I wouldn't put it past Coin at all. She might have even been going for Aurelia as well. Kill all of us in one blow."
"If that's true, she needs to be arrested and tried for murder. She's responsible for the deaths of several people. And attempted murder for you."
"And you," she argued, shifting against him. "Our whole squad was down there. I knew I didn't like the woman."
"Hmm," he said, his arms tightening around her. He hesitantly draped his bandaged stump on her thigh but instantly removed it.
"Sorry," he said hastily. "I'm sure that feels weird." She reached down and gently brought it back over her thigh, running her hand up his thigh and to his chest. She nuzzled her face into his shoulder, her hand slowly moving from his chest to his neck, up into his hair. She moved her face up so she could kiss him, and leaned up on his elbow so he could reciprocate. Their kisses became more heated and she sat up, practically straddling him. He groaned into her mouth, clamping down on her bottom lip and tugging it gently.
"Peeta," she said breathily.
"Fuck," he exclaimed, making her jump. He huffed and rested his forehead on her shoulder. "It's so fucking frustrating!"
"I'm sorry," she said timidly. "I didn't mean-"
"No, it's not you. I want you, Katniss. God, I always want you. I want to ravage you and hear you cry out my name. But I don't feel anything. I can't get an erection! It's all there except for the physical!"
"It'll come back," she cupped his cheek. "Give yourself time to heal, in every aspect. And don't be angry or ashamed of anything you need during that time. You just need to ask."
"Can I get you off?" Her cheeks reddened.
"Peeta."
"You said I just need to ask. I want to get you off. Will you let me? Please?"
"You don't have to. I don't need-"
"I know you don't need but I… Katniss, I don't feel like myself. Touching and loving my wife will make me feel more at ease. That was the first time I relaxed today, when you were holding me in the bath. I know it can't be like this every night but when we had a tough day back home or here, we would find solace in each other. Even though I can't… I just want to touch you. I need to hear your breathy little moans. If that makes me an asshole, so be it."
"It doesn't make you an asshole," she said softly, giving him a smile. "And I always want you to touch me. I just don't like that I can't please you in return."
"Pleasing you will please me," he assured her.
"OK," she breathed, her warm breath fanning across his face and making him sigh. "Whatever you need."
"Sit up for me." She did and felt him lift her shirt over her head. His lips met her shoulders while his hands cupped her breasts, weighing them in his palms. His thumbs raked across her nipples until he squeezed them between his fingers, causing her to arch her back.
"Fuck you are gorgeous," he leaned down and kissed her neck, his teeth leaving marks, his tongue darting out to soothe the sting. One of his hands remained on her breast while the other slid down to her hips. He stroked her flesh with his knuckles, leaning under her arm to suck at her breast.
"Oh Peeta," she bent her arm behind her to grip his hair and he growled as he tugged at her nipple with his teeth. His hand tugged at her panties and she quickly slid them off.
"C'mere," he sat against the wall and tugged her over him, her hair tickling his chest.
"I don't want to hurt you."
"Enough of that. Straddle me. And spread your legs." She sat on his stomach and balanced herself on her feet on either side of him, so that her legs were spread wide open. It made her extremely self conscious, being exposed like this toward the door. A nurse could walk in at any moment but as soon as his fingers slid through her wetness, all thoughts left her completely.
"Shit Katniss, you're soaking," he whispered filthily. He pushed in a single finger, pumping it in several times before withdrawing it. He sucked on his wet digit, wrapping his tongue around and eagerly lapping up her arousal.
"Lift your hips and put your hands on my shoulders if you need to." He gripped her hip with one hand while his other dove between her thighs. Katniss would have blushed at the obscene sounds that were coming from below, had she had any sense at that moment. Peeta thrust his fingers in and out, twisting and crooking, while his thumb rubbed across her clit.
"I want you to cum for me, sweetheart," he whispered in her ear. Her knees started to shake from the effort of holding herself up.
"You can sit on me. Just hold those legs open." She lowered herself to sit, her back pressed to his chest. He moved his other hand to join his left, spreading her pussy wide and continuing to help her chase her release. She started to buck her hips as she felt herself approach a steep cliff.
"Oh god Peeta, shit!"
"You feel so incredible, baby," he tested out the pet name himself. "So fucking perfect. Cum all over me. Fuck, I can feel you squeezing my fingers."
"Peeta! Shiiiit!" She jerked her hips as he frantically rubbed her clit and she felt a gushing feeling and she was falling off the cliff at high levels of speed.
"Oh my god," she lowered her hips, splayed over her husband completely. She rested her head on his shoulder as he gathered her damp hair, kissing her temple.
"What the hell was that," she glanced up at him, looking exhausted.
"That was the hottest fucking thing I have ever seen is what it was," he said with a smug grin.
"No, I mean… the dirty talk. That mouth would make a Peacekeeper blush."
"You seemed to like it," he said as he gathered the wetness on his fingers. She gasped and tried to close her legs but she was still straddling him. With a grunt of exhaustion, she rolled off of him and onto her stomach. He chuckled and leaned down to kiss her shoulder.
"I guess that wasn't really me but… did you like it?"
"I loved it," she panted. "I love you."
"I love you too. And thank you."
"I should be the one thanking you. Again. Thank you."
"Thank you for letting me, Katniss." He pressed another kiss to her shoulder, his lips moving across her back. "I think it's… well, I feel inadequate when I can't get it up but knowing I can still make you scream…" he trailed off and she huffed, blowing hair out of her face.
"THAT'S what that was all about? Trying to prove you can still make me feel good?"
"Yes," he said unabashedly. "I wanted to make you feel amazing. So I took it further than I have before. Was it too far?" She was so exhausted, sleep threatened to consume her before she could get dressed.
"I'm not sure," she said truthfully. "Hand me my shirt and a pair of underwear." He leaned over and dug through the bag, withdrawing a pair of panties and handing it to her from his finger. She snatched them off his hand and groaned.
"I need to use the bathroom. And clean up. Oh god, we need to change the sheets. What will the nurses say?"
"Who the hell cares? I can't wait to make you do that again," he said, that smug grin never leaving his face.
"Ugh, Peeta!"
"What," he said innocently as he watched run to the bathroom and slam the door shut. He crossed his arms behind his head as he chuckled to himself, glancing down at the wet blankets underneath him.
