Still flashing back to May, 2016, Freddie is visiting the mother of his child
Chapter 19
"I talked to the doctor this morning. They're expecting us at the hospital at six, but there's not really much change since last weekend." The young lady informed him.
"Sorry." He dropped his gaze slightly. "I'm really sorry." She did the same, clearly hiding her emotion by staring at the pattern on his shirt, but he could tell she was crying. They hadn't been in the same room together in so long but yet they still knew each other intimately, and cared for one another. Both reached for each other's hand for comfort.
Hesitantly, without knowing what else to do, he put his arms around her and left her sob into his chest. "I'm here now, you don't have to do this alone any more."
"Bu-but you won't be here forever. You have your own life to live." She sniffed with her arms around his ribs. "I can't take this, I really don't know how much more of it I can do alone. I'm failing two classes, I'm already a semester behind. I just got a letter, I'm going to lose my scholarship. I'm working my butt off to pay for this crappy apartment because I can't have a baby in campus housing. I've had to ask my dad for help twice. She's so sick and I don't even have time to sit with her." By now, she was on the verge of hysterics.
"Shh, shh, shh." He held her tighter and rubbed her back. "We'll figure something out. Just take a breath."
She took a step back away from him when she realized how she looked, smelled and was dressed. "And I hate that you have to see me like this, Freddie. I'm just so worn out, I can hardly hold my head up. I don't even remember the last time I washed my hair or had a decent meal. I'm living on cereal and cold sandwiches from a crappy convenience store down the block and I've hardly slept at all this week." She sniffed back her tears. "I was so afraid you wouldn't come."
"It's OK, really. I'm here now. Why don't you go and take a nap or something, I'll try to find us something to eat and then we can get ready to go to the hospital. You said we need to be there by six, right?" He took her hands in his and tried to calm her down.
She grabbed him tightly again, not wanting to let go. "No. I can't sleep. I don't know what to do." She continued sobbing. "Please, just hold me."
He felt so bad that she had been dealing with everything all alone. "Come on, let's sit down here." He motioned to the sofa. "I've got you, you can get some rest. You need a break and I'm here for you."
"This is why I didn't tell you. I wanted to, but I knew you'd do this. You came running here to hold my hand and pick up the pieces for me. I didn't want that. I didn't want your life to come off the tracks, too."
As they sat down, he again pulled the girl into his side. "I know, I know. But I'm here now and I'll do anything I can to help. If you'll let me, I want to be here for you, for both of you."
"Oh, Fredward are you sure? You just graduated yesterday. You worked so hard to graduate a year early. Now here you are playing house with a ready made family and a soon to be college dropout, worthless excuse for a woman."
"This certainly isn't something you chose, none of it. And not to state the obvious but you wouldn't be here without me. I'm part of this baby, too. So yes, I'm sure."
The girl calmed her nerves a little in his arms, enough to get in a some much needed rest. Both had dozed off holding each other in solace and peace. She stretched and roused Freddie from his jet-lagged, post-flight nap at just after four-thirty.
"Aw, nards!" She complained, looking at the clock. "I need a shower desperately and it's getting late. Ow, and my left arm's totally asleep. Why'd you let me drift off like that?"
"Because what you desperately need is rest." He smirked and kissed her forehead. "Go ahead and get ready."
She hurried through making herself presentable with a quick shower, hair wash and minimal makeup while Freddie did his best to find something meager for them to eat in her kitchen. It was clear that a trip for groceries was in the near future for them. A nearly empty jar of peanut butter, some slightly stale crackers, one serving of very questionable looking hummus and a partial box of cereal was all he could find.
It was a few minutes after six when the two entered the hospital and checked in to see their daughter in the Pediatric I.C.U. They were soon greeted by the doctor who had been expecting them.
"Sorry, we're late." The young mother begged forgiveness. "This is the baby's father."
"It's alright. I understand you just flew in today." She smiled and shook Freddie's hand. "You must be Mr. Benson. Would you be able to come with me, we can take a quick blood sample and I'll rush it to the lab to see if you're compatible before we do anything else."
An hour later, the test results were back, the young parents updated on conditions and Freddie was escorted to a room to have blood drawn to infuse into the baby. The young mother sat by his side holding his hand as a nurse started the I.V. into his opposite arm.
"You'd think I wouldn't get queasy any more when I see needles." She scoffed. "It still makes me want to pass out."
"It's OK, baby." He squeezed her hand. "Just don't look."
"Did you just call me . . . " She smirked at him. "Really?"
"Sorry. Uh, force of habit." He shrugged, loosening his grip on her hand, thinking it made her uncomfortable. "It's just, like, what I always called you before. Sorry."
"It's alright. I missed you." She suddenly blurted out and held his hand tighter. "I really missed you. And not just because of the baby. I was stupid Freddie. Stupid to leave you out of her life and stupid to have broken up with you, to let you out of my life. I wish I could go back in time and fix it. We could have made it work long distance, I know we could have."
"I get it. But I'm here now. Did you want to, I don't know, try again? Try us again?" He asked, hopeful. "It might not be perfect, but you've got to admit we do have a certain chemistry."
"Aren't you with Sam?" She wasn't sure why he was being so forward, last she heard he was happily seeing Sam and had been for quite some time.
"Uh, no. Not really. I didn't tell you, but she, um . . . " He sighed. "When she found out about the baby, she sort of went off the rails. Ran off, God only knows where. I assume back to L.A. but I haven't heard from her. Not like I expect to."
"She seriously just bolted, no explanation, no nothing?" This sounded familiar.
He nodded. "Like I said, I don't expect to hear from her. The last time she left she wasn't even wazzed off and it was months before she called. That was just to get me to track down some idiot that was leaving fake reviews for her baby sitting business online, not because she missed me or anything." He shrugged.
"Aww, I'm sorry. I know you really loved her. And so do I. I mean, she's my sister for crying out loud, I'll always love her. I just wish she wasn't so short tempered and would think before she makes rash decisions on raw emotion, like just up and running off. You know, she hasn't spoken to me since you and I broke up Christmas freshman year, two and a half years ago."
"Don't look for that to change anytime soon. Especially if you and I are together. The one person I can guarantee she hates more than you is me right about now."
"So she's mad at you because you and I hooked back up again? Even when you guys weren't dating or anything back then. What did she expect you to do, sit around like a priest waiting for her to decide to move home? Wait, you weren't cheating on her with me were you? Oh my God! Were you two back together when we . . . that summer?"
"No, of course not! I didn't even know she was planning on moving home until a month or so after you left for college out here. It was after that when her and I got back together. I guess I should have told her about us, what happened that summer straight away. And told her about the baby as soon as I found out. You see, she sort of found my copies of the papers for the hospital before I had a chance to talk to her. That's when she lost it."
Not wanting to make the same mistake with Melanie that he made with her sister, he decided to tell her everything up front. "But I did sort of go out with a couple of other girls between, like, when we broke up and that week or so when we hung out. I'm guessing that's when you got pregnant."
Melanie simply nodded. "It's alright, Freddie. It doesn't matter. Wait, you didn't get anyone else pregnant did you? Like, how many other girls? Two, three?"
"I'm just going to leave for a few minutes." The nurse who was over seeing the blood drawing was getting quite the ear full. "The I.V. will shut off when it gets full."
The two looked at each other and started to laugh. They had been confessing things in front of a complete stranger and didn't even care.
"You know, that lady couldn't get this kind of entertainment without cable TV." Freddie chuckled. "There were actually two. Two girls I went to high school with."
"Better than the Terry Springman show for her." Mel added, laughing. "So, just two, huh? You mind telling me who?"
"Wendy, she was a common friend of me and Sam's. But we didn't go out or anything, we just kind of well, you know, hooked up for, uh . . . a couple of times."
"Friends with benefits?" She questioned.
He shrugged in agreement, ashamed of himself. "And a girl named Valerie. She was actually my first real girlfriend back in middle school and we kind of, like, got together for a couple of weeks before she went back to college that same fall." He skipped the part of the way he took advantage of the girl. "But it didn't amount to anything. It was literally just sex. With both of them, really."
It was nearly midnight when the two returned to Melanie's apartment. The infusion had been complete and the doctors told them that it would take a day or two in order to see any results in the baby's blood tests. They planned on returning the next day just to be with her for a little while before Melanie had to go to work.
"Did you want to stay back here with me?" Melanie asked from the bedroom doorway, seeing Freddie preparing to settle down in the living room. "That couch has seen better days. Seriously, it's like something my mom would have."
"Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, given our history and all. Do you really want me in your bed?"
"It's alright, Freddie. We are adults. Besides, we have a kid together." She smirked. "But you're right, I don't think anything like that should happen. At least not right now. We only just got back together a few hours ago."
Several days passed and by mid-week, time was drawing near for Freddie to return to Seattle. The baby's blood tests had come back and the transfusion had definitely helped. With a little luck, she'd be well enough to leave the intensive care unit in another week or so.
"I've been meaning to ask Mel, did you ever consider coming back to Seattle?" He asked as they were sitting at a small café for lunch. "You told me your scholarship was drying up and you complain about your job. You obviously hate your apartment. If you came home we could get a place together, share the responsibility of caring for the baby, and maybe try to figure out something so you can finish your degree."
"I hadn't really thought much about it. You're right, it's not like I have anything going for me here. I can't be a waitress for the rest of my life and my apartment, well, that whole neighborhood sucks to say the least."
"I know you can't do anything until the baby's out of the hospital and doing better but maybe after that." He suggested. "How about we talk some more once she's released."
"What about your mom? You said you hadn't told her yet." Little did Melanie know she already knew, but hadn't said a word to him about it during their daily phone calls. "You can't just move out of her place, in somewhere with me and the baby, drop this on her last minute. I might get along with your mom, but she's a bit high strung, she'll have a stroke. And probably resent me forever."
"I guess I'll have to say something to her as soon as I get back. I just don't want her to end up hating you for it. It took both of us to become parents, it wasn't like it was all your idea to have a baby before you're out of college."
"Are you sure you'd rather not stay here in Chicago with me?" She asked. "I know my place isn't much, but together we could probably make it home. Or we could try to find something else."
"I'd would Mels, but I told you I have that internship with Zaplook lined up and it's almost a done deal that they'll pay for my grad school, too."
"You're right. It makes more sense for us to live in Seattle. I know I can find a job out there, even something menial, like I did here. Maybe even something a little better. Hopefully I can save up and in a year or two I can go back to school and finish my degree."
