The Wolf You Feed

Chapter 13

A few days earlier...

Robin measured the dried herbs she had taken down from her shelves, making sure she had the right proportions of each. Then she lifted the bowl and poured the mixture into the empty jar she had ready. She picked up a roll of masking tape and ripped off a small piece, sticking it to the top of the jar to serve as a label. She was making a birthing tea for Lauren.

The girl wasn't getting any smaller and Robin had noticed a shift in the way she was walking earlier in the day. The large swell of her stomach looked lower and she was walking with her toes turned out and her hands on her lower back. Lauren's baby was coming soon, whether the girl wanted it to or not. It was a miracle she had not gone into labor from the stress of seeing her brother and the father of her baby shot to death in front of her. She was stronger than she knew.

The tea mix Robin made was for during labor. To help speed up the contractions and relax her so her labor would be faster and easier on her. Next Robin was planning to make the girl a tea that she could drink after, to help her milk come in. Robin paused with her hand on a jar, wondering if she should even bother. If the baby was a boy, it would be killed. And even if it was a girl, she wasn't sure what would become of Lauren after the child was out of her. Tears began to fill Robin's eyes. She had known Lauren since she was a baby. She had made the same labor tea for Lauren's mother and held the woman's hand in a tight grip as she brought her daughter kicking and screaming into the world. This should be a happy time. Instead she felt gripped with fear for the girl.

Her thoughts drifted back to the man who's wounds she tended the day before. She tried to push him out of her mind. He was nothing more than a dead man walking. Plenty of men like him had come through here. They all met the same fate. Robin reminded herself firmly that there was nothing she could do for the man. But her thoughts kept drifting back to him anyway. She knew she had never seen him before, but something about him had seemed so familiar. It was like a little tickle in the back of her mind. She had been having a hard time concentrating all day. It seemed like everytime she closed her eyes, she saw that man's face on the insides of her eyelids.

Robin decided to forget making a mother's tea for Lauren for the time being. Instead she ground up some valerian root for herself. To help her sleep. The stuff smelled and tasted horrible, but she knew it would knock her out cold. And at the present moment, that was what she wanted. She had not had a drink in years. Never much cared for the taste of alcohol. But if she had some right now she would drink it down until she couldn't even see straight.

The little electric tea kettle whistled. It ran off the small solar panel she had outside her cabin. She picked it up and dumped the boiling water over the strainer in her cup. As she waited for her tea to steep, she made a feeble attempt at cleaning up. She put the jars away on the shelves she had taken them down from. As she brought her arm down from putting the last one up, a flower broke off from one of the herbs that was hanging above her to dry. The tiny clump of purple petals fluttered down into her open palm. Lavendar. Aside from it's medicinal properties, she planted it for luck. Robin closed her fist around the flower, crushing it. No amount of luck would help that man. Or Lauren. She picked up her tea cup, intent on heading for bed. But the loud smack of a broomstick hitting the ground made her turn. Not towards the noise. The broom had fallen where she could see it. But towards the door. A broom falling meant company was coming.

That was when she saw the ghost. Lola. Her oldest friend. The woman had died during the first few crazy days of the outbreak. Bitten trying to help people she thought were sick. Robin dropped her cup of tea. It shattered to the ground, spashing her legs and feet with burning hot water that she didn't even feel. She took a step backwards, her breath catching in her throat.

The ghost woman stepped forward out of the shadows. She still looked like Lola, but her hair color was wrong. Robin took a deep breath, calming herself. This was not Lola. Lola was dead. This was her daughter. Rowan. Robin remembered her well. The wild girl with the raven hair. The one all the animals loved. Even when she had been nothing more than a baby, butterflies would flutter down and land on her shoulders.

"Rowan," Robin whispered. Rowan nodded. Suddenly the connection became clear to Robin. The reason that man who's head wound she cleaned had seemed so familiar to her. "That man they have in the pen...," Robin said, her voice coming out shaky and uncertain. Rowan nodded. It had been a long time since she had been with one of her own people. The subtle mind reading threw her off for a minute. She had gotten used to not having to guard her thoughts anymore. Rowan nodded again.

"He's mine," Rowan said, "and I want him back." She closed the distance between her and her mother's old friend. Reaching out, she took the woman's hand in hers. She locked eyes with the other woman, knowing as she was reading Robin, she was being read in return. Robin's aura was tinged red with fear, but behind that there was the pink and yellow tinge of friendship mixed with the violet that all her people wore around them in varying shades. She could trust her. Robin was not a part of this. Not willingly anyway. Rowan smiled at the woman as Robin's other hand came up to wrap around Rowan's hands.

"Will you help me?," Rowan asked the woman. Before Robin could answer, there was a commotion in the doorway. Tank charged in, with Morgan close behind him. They were both growling and snarling. Enid backed in next, dragging a young black girl with her. She had a knife to the girl's throat. And when they turned, Rowan could see the girl was pregnant. Very pregnant. She was the one they had seen at the funeral when she and Enid were spying from the woods. The one who's mother yelled at that nasty woman with the red hair.

"Enid, let her go," Rowan said. Enid did as she was told. The girl slumped to the floor, holding her stomach and gasping for breath. Enid wrinkled her nose up and stuffed her knife back into her belt.

"She saw me," Enid explained. It wasn't really her fault. If Morgan would have kept his stupid puppy mouth shut, the girl wouldn't have seen her. Enid didn't want to hurt a pregnant girl, but she didn't want to get caught and thrown in that big cage either. These people were crazy.

Tank rubbed against Rowan's leg. Then he trotted back to get a better look at the new arrival. Lauren assumed the dog was coming to attack her. He was huge too. Almost as big as that mangy tiger that Amanda kept chained up outside her lodge. Lauren slid back, climbing under the exam table until her back was pressing against the wall. Tank sat down in front of her. Then he lay down with his head on his paws and looked up at her, letting out a soft little whine. Rowan was about to call him off and tell him to let the girl alone, but then she saw the girl's slim dark hand dart out from under the table. It came to rest on Tank's head.

Rowan smiled. The girl was brave, she would give her that. Not everyone was willing to get their vital parts that close to Tank's large jaws.

"Get outta the way Tank," Rowan told the dog, nudging him with the side of her foot. Then she leaned down and offered the girl her hand. The girl took it and allowed Rowan and Enid to help her to her feet. Once she was up, she stumbled a step and bumped into Rowan with her stomach. Rowan caught the girl by the arm to steady her. She rested her other hand on the girl's swollen belly.

"Not too much longer now?," Rowan asked the girl. She couldn't help but smile, thinking about her own baby and how her stomach was going to be as big as this girl's before too long. Her little critter. The silly nickname was always on the tip of Daryl's tounge. She couldn't wait to see what her baby was going to look like. But this girl did not seem to share Rowan's enthusiasm. At the mention of her baby, her eyes went dark and she backed away to stare down at her feet.

"If her baby is a boy," Robin explained, "they won't let her keep it." Rowan glanced at the other woman to make sure she was serious. The look on her face said it all. That was the most horrible thing that Rowan had ever heard. And it was other women that were threatening this girl and her child. That made it worse somehow.

"Where is the baby's father," Enid asked. She was trying not to feel sorry for the girl, but it wasn't really working.

"He's dead," the girl said, "they killed him." Lauren backed up, sitting down hard on the exam table. She buried her face in her hands and started crying. Really letting go. To Rowan's surprise, Enid sat down next to the girl and put her arm around her. Enid didn't often offer her sympathies to anyone. Being in love is good for her. In fact, Enid didn't usually even like touching people except for her or Carl. Daryl got a pat on the back once every blue moon. Rowan guessed her friend might be feeling a little guilty for threatening the pregnant girl with her knife. Either way she left Enid to comfort the girl and turned her attention back to Robin.

"What happened here?," Rowan asked the woman. She had seen a lot of strange things out on the beyond. But this was her home. These were her people. What had happened to them to make them act this way? Threatening babies. Locking men up in a big cage and starving them. There had to be a reason.

Robin rubbed her face, trying to think about where to start. Amanda and some of her group had shown up with those men. At first most people were grateful to have them around. They were good at killing the roamers. But those men. They were bad. Robin guessed the men had been keeping Amanda and the other women with them by force originally, but at some point the women had just stayed with them because they were too sacred to run away. Things had just gotten stranger from that point on.

The group of outsiders decided to stay. Those men were the worst kind. Especially the leader. Joe. He started by grabbing up a few of the younger girls. The pretty ones. He and his men forced them. Not just that, they were mocking and laughing at the men here. Calling them sissies and encourging them to join in on their disgusting games.

When Amanda and Katie came up with the idea to put something in their food to make all the men pass out, Robin had been more than happy to help. She had mixed up the drug herself. It had seemed like a game a the time. Most of the women had been laughing as they tied up the sleeping men. But then Amanda started slitting their throats. Stabbing them. It stopped being funny after that.

"I don't even know where to start," Robin told Rowan. Rowan rested her hand on the other woman's arm. Robin looked tired. Like she had aged ten or twenty years since the last time Rowan had seen her.

"Start at the beginning," Rowan urged. Her voice was low and gentle. "Tell me everything."