The Wolf You Feed
Chapter 27
The pile of weeds was growing as they worked. The wheelbarrow was full. Green stalks flecked with dirt were mounded up and hanging down over the sides. The whole mess was looking like it was ready to lean and topple over into the ground they had pulled it out of. Olivia sighed before she got up, brushing some of the dirt that had collected on her cloth gardening gloves off onto her thighs.
Enid turned towards the sound of nails being hammered, shading her eyes from the bright afternoon sun. She glanced around for Carl, hoping that he might show up. His dad had been keeping him on a pretty short leash since he had gotten into that fight with Ron. And Rick was still out doing round around the outside of the wall, which meant that's what Carl was doing as well.
The finishing touches were being put on the large greenhouse that Reg had designed in the hopes that it would keep them in fresh vegetables during the cold virginia winter. The day was warm and most of the men that were working on the construction project had long since abandoned their shirts. Olivia and Michonne had been teasing each other, making comments about the nice view they had. And for all her talk of the naked form being natural and functional, Enid had even caught Rowan taking a few quick peeks when Daryl was up on the ladder.
"I think we have enough green beans to feed an army," Olivia announced, setting the now empty wheelbarrow back down and looking over all the five gallon buckets they had lined up near the walking path.
"It seems like a lot now," Rowan agreed, nodding her head, "but..." Her words faded off, leaving her gentle objection hanging in the air around them. It seemed like they had all the food in the world. Now. But it was the middle of growing season. Rowan wasn't good at math, but she had lived in a community that self sustained almost all her life. She knew just by looking that the amount of food they were growing was far too small for a community with as many people as Alexandria had. Rowan was trying to stay positive, but the truth was that you needed about a half acre dedicated to food growing for each person that you were planning to feed during the winter. Right now they had about enough to sustain two large families. Not an entire town.
Alexandria made it through the last winter on all the canned goods and supplies they had emptied from any store within a twenty-five mile radius, plus the stockpile Rowan and Daryl had found in the underground bunker. But all of that was gone now. Stores full of supplies and food were getting harder and harder to come by. The woods around the town had been overhunted. The deer and other larger animals had long since cleared out of the area. Unless the one of the run teams happened upon a miracle, Rowan knew people were not going to have enough to eat come winter.
"But what?," Enid asked, speaking quietly so that she didn't catch the attention of anyone that wasn't already listening to them. Rowan just shook her head.
"You don't think this will be enough?," Michonne asked, shifting the large brimmed hat she was wearing so that her son was shaded from the sun. When she was working in the gardens, Michonne strapped the boy to her back with a long length of stretchy fabric that tied under her breasts. The motion combined with the feel of having his mother so close usually put the boy to sleep within a few minutes. Today was no exception. His round baby cheek was resting between her shoulder blades, the wild curls on his head bouncing in time to the rythym of her movements. Rowan reached over and touched his cheek, grazing it softly with the knuckles of her hand.
Seeing that Michonne had turned her shrewd eyes on her, Rowan knew she wasn't getting out of giving a straight answer. "No," she admitted, "I don't think this will be enough." Rowan lived her life trying to find the postive in everyone and every situation. But there was a difference between being positive and being blind to a problem.
"You think or you know?," Michonne asked. She had just been thinking she was looking at all the food in the world. More than anyone could ever consume. But she trusted Rowan. If Rowan said there was going to be a problem, then there was probably going to be a problem.
"I know," Rowan said, speaking quietly before reached over and distracted herself again by brushing Michonne's son's hair back out of his face with her hand. Rowan's dark eyebrows knitted together, betraying how worried she really was. Michonne rested a comforting hand on the other woman's slim shoulder.
"I'll talk to Rick," she assured her. Rowan nodded and smiled at her, leaning in to give the dark skinned woman a light kiss on the cheek. Rick and Daryl cared about each other like brothers, which Rowan liked to think made her and Michonne sisters. They didn't have much in common, but Rowan still cared for her and considered Michonne part of the small tight knit group that was more like a family than a circle of friends. She had become like a mother to Enid, and Rowan thought the growing bong between them was beautiful to see.
"At least we got enough for dinner tonight," Olivia anounced cheerfully, eager to change to subject. Whenever people started talking about food running out it made her feel extremely self concious about her weight. She knew she didn't ever eat more than her fair share, but being fat in a time where not everyone had enough food made her feel guilty and embarrassed. "What are you making for the party Roe?," she asked.
The subject turned from food and supplies to the traditional welcome home party they had anytime one of their small group came back in from being on the road. The group that used to only include the close foursome of Rowan, Olivia, Aaron and Eric had greatly expanded over the last year. There were so many people that came to the parties now that there wasn't room for all of them in Aaron's house. Deanna had agreed to host the dinner in her much larger home. To keep Deanna's home from being completely devestated, they were planning to go out and have a bonfire near Rowan's teepee after they ate. There was going to be some drinking, some storytelling and possibly even some dancing depending on how much drinking people did.
TWD
Daryl's contribution to the party had only taken a few minutes of his time. Rowan's father pulled a large side of venison out of the chest freezer they had in their basement the day before and put in kitchen sink to defrost. Daryl helped him cut it up. Rowan's father chopped up a bunch of herbs from one of Rowan's gardens and Daryl stirred the meat to coat them well in the mixture. Once they got to Deanna's house they would thread the meat onto reuable metal skewers and toss them on the grill.
Rowan was working in the kitchen on the other side of the large butcher block table. She was making some sort of salad, using raw vegetables and herbs along with some cooked grains from the amaranth she had grown in their backyard near her sunflowers. Tank and Lily were lying under the kitchen table. Morgan, the only dog not tired from running around in the gardens all afternoon, was stalking around the kitchen continuously bumping into Rowan's father's legs in the hopes that the man might accidentally drop a piece of meat on the floor for the dog to gobble up.
Rowan bit down on her lip to keep from laughing. Her father was the toughest man she knew. He had faced down and beaten every enemy they had faced out in the beyond. Murderers, raiders, rapists, people that had tried to take their things and hurt them. Even that group of bikers they had run into on the way back from twin oaks. Nothing could shake him. But now he was about to be brought to his breaking point by nothing more than a large white puppy who had a penchant for knowing just the right ways to annoy him.
Placing her salad in the fridge, Rowan smacked her leg and called the large white dog over to her. Morgan made sure to slam his tail into her father one last time as he crossed the kitchen. Daryl turned his back on the man and Rowan could tell by the set of his shoulders that he was shaking with silent laughter. Her father cursed under his breath, his body tensing and his fists clenching before he took a few deep breaths and forced his body to relax again. Rowan had been convinced for some time now that her friend Morgan's spirit was working through the dog that had been named for him. Her father had a problem with his anger turning violent and she hoped the dog constantly bugging him might help him to develop some new coping techniques. After all he loved animals almost as much as she did. He had locked Morgan out of the house a few times but she knew he would never actually hurt the dog. Rowan believed Morgan was teaching the man patience and restraint. At the very least he was providing her with some good entertainment.
Since Morgan was cruising for tidbits, Rowan decided it was time to feed all her dogs. She pulled a few large cans of wet dog food down from a large cupboard near the backdoor. The sound brought both Lily and Tank to their feet and Rowan kicked the backdoor open. Her pregnancy was making her more sensitive to smells and the aroma of wet dog food wasn't something she had found appealing even before she had a baby in her belly. Plus the dogs made a mess when they ate. So she fed them out on the back porch, leaving the door cracked open so Tank could get back in when he was done eating. Lily and Morgan would be happy to stay outside together, but Tank would start up with his howling and barking if he couldn't get to Rowan.
"We have a little while until dinner," Rowan said once she stepped back inside the kitchen, "Maybe I'll go wash my hair..." The tone of her voice caught Daryl's attention. When she was thinking about jumping on him, the pitch of her voice always got a little lower. It was subtle enough that no one else around would have noticed the change, but when she talked like that it always made his dick twitch in his pants. She was leaning against the doorframe, the tip of her finger tracing a little invisible pattern on the wall next to her. Her eyes were focused on him, and as they skated down the length of his body her gaze lingered on his hips. There was a little smile playing at the corners of her lips and as her eyes rose up to meet his, the tip of her tounge flicked out to wet her fuller bottom lip.
She wasn't moving but she wasn't really standing still either. Her hips swayed, swiveling a little as she lifted one of her heels off the floor, put it down and then lifted the other one. She was stretching her calves out like she was getting ready to do a lot more than wash her hair in the shower. Daryl leaned back against the counter.
"Should be plenty a' hot water," he told her, using a tone that implied he had no interest in her or the heated looks she was giving him. He was playing with her. She knew he was. And he knew she knew. But it still amused him to tease her just a little. Rowan had never been shy when it came to sex. She initiated it as often as he did. But he had noticed a change in her lately. Unless he had suddenly become significatly more attractive in the last few days, Daryl guessed the changes in Rowan's demeanor were likely due to the hormones that came along with being pregnant. It wasn't what she liked to do in bed that had changed, it was the way she looked at him that was different. There was a gleam in her eyes that hadn't been there before. The way she stared at his body now could almost be described as predatory. It had thrown him off a little a first, but Daryl quickly decided that he didn't mind feeling like he was the hottest man his wife had ever seen.
Rowan gave Daryl one one lingering glance before she shrugged her shoulders and pushed herself away from the doorframe. She walked slowly through the kitchen with a purpose to her movements. Her hips swug back and forth suggestively and before she even made it out of the room Daryl had cleared the butcher block island and was hurrying her along towards the stairs with his hand on her lower back.
Daryl's game of pretending he didn't want to shower with her was long gone before it even really started. By the time they hit the steps that woud lead them up to the bedroom they shared Rowan and Daryl were racing each other. They went pounding and running up the steps like children in their hurry to get at each other. Rowan could hear her father's laughter drifting out of the kitchen. Daryl kicked their bedroom door shut behind him as he yanked his shirt off over his head. Before it hit the floor Rowan had raked his boxers down along with his pants. She shoved them down until they scrunched up around his ankles, caught on his socks.
Her body followed the movements of her eager hands, lowering down until she was kneeling in front of him. gripping the base of his growing erection with one hand, she pulled it away from his belly and wrapped her lips around him. Rowan closed her eyes, a moan vibrating in her throat that made him moan even louder. Her mouth was warm and her wet tounge was lapping circles around him. What she was doing to him felt so good that for a moment Daryl considered giving in and letting her bring him to his climax with a few more strokes of her tounge but instead he backed up quickly and hauled her up onto her feet.
"I was just getting started," she whispered, her voice thick from how hard and fast she was breathing. Daryl didn't answer her, he just wrapped his arms around her and held her close until they both stopped breathing so hard. Then he gripped the tank top she was wearing and lifted it up and off. She quickly rid herself of the much detested bra she was now forced to wear since her breasts had decided to double in size. Next she wiggled off the cotton shorts she had worn to keep herself cool while she was gardening. She had not worn any shoes or socks, just the ankle bracelets she had put on that morning.
As Daryl struggled with the tangled up boot and pants and underwear mess, Rowan climbed into bed and rested her head on her favorite fluffy pillow to wait for him. He had finally managed to get one boot off before he stumbled and bumped into the dresser. The other boot followed the first and then Daryl was climbing into bed to settle himself between the freckled flesh of her thighs.
"Are you alright?," she asked him before she pulled him down to kiss him. He had knocked his shoulder into that hard wooden dresser with an audible thump.
"I'm jus' fine," he assured her between kisses. Her genuine concern for him and his well being always hit Daryl hard in the center of his chest. No one had ever cared about him before. Not like Rowan did. Even though he wasn't hurt at all, she still had to plant a few small kisses on the shoulder he had bumped into the dresser before she was satisfied. He returned the favor by kissing her back. Across her collarbone and then down the center of her chest until he got to her breasts. The pale undersides of her breasts were the only place on her body where she was void of freckles. He kissed the tender flesh there before he sucked the hard pink bud of her nipple into his mouth.
Suckling one, he pinched lightly at her other breast until Rowan was squirming beneath him. Her cheeks were flushed pink and her eyes were closed again. As he moved up, lining himself up with her slick opening he felt her arm come between their bodies, her hand pressing flat against the center of his chest. She was feeling his heartbeat. It wasn't something she did all the time, but she did it often enough that Daryl knew why she was doing it. She liked to feel the beat of his heart when he was inside her. If they were making a slower more gentle sort of love sometimes she would breath in time with him as well. But he knew that wasn't going to happen today. As soon as he pushed inside her, Rowan sucked in her breath. She immediately started making the quiet little high pitched noises that he knew meant she was already coming.
Putting so much weight on her with the hard swell of her growing stomach between them still made him nervous. But Daryl reminded himself that Rowan had assured him almost daily that if he wasn't hurting her, he wouldn't hurt their baby. He still didn't pump into her as hard as he would have liked to with the way she was hitching her breath and moaning. But even moving slower, the hard hot press of her walls around him had him coming with her before he even meant to.
Daryl collapsed on top of her. Rowan held him close, enjoying the solid weight of him for the few seconds before he rolled off and tucked his body into hers. She turned and let him cuddle in behind her so they were lying like two spoons on edge. Her entire body felt deliciously relaxed and after spending most of the day in the hot sun she could feel her eyelids starting to droop.
"Better get up before we fall asleep," she mumbled halfheartedly. There was really no place she would rather be. Daryl grunted his displeasure at the thought of being forced out of bed. Then he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her even closer. Rowan blinked her sleepy eyes open. "The partys fer us," she reminded him, "they're going to notice if we're not there." Daryl smiled into the back of her neck. They spent so much time togther she had picked up a few of his southern drawl slurs. Fer. Yer. Ner. Combined with her Sioux accent, that shit was so cute it was damn near precious.
Despite his best efforts to keep her in bed with him, Rowan wriggled away and climbed to her feet. He rolled onto his back and closed his eyes, listening to the soft rustling sounds of Rowan as she picked up the clothing that had been tossed to the floor in their hurry to get at each other's naked flesh. Daryl remembered that they both still needed to shower and suddenly the thought of getting out of bed was sounding more and more appealing. Their love making session had been over too fast for his tastes and he was thinking he might try soaping Rowan up under the warm spray of water and going for another round. Even if that didn't happen he loved it when she washed his hair for him.
Daryl jumped up out of bed. He heard Rowan's frightened gasp. But more than that he felt her fear like a hard punch in the gut. Daryl glanced around the room, looking for any possible signs of danger. But all he saw was Rowan. She was standing near the dresser holding a Tarot card in her shaking hands.
"What's wrong?," Daryl asked, closing the small distance between them and wrapping his arms around her. He could feel the rest of the deck sliding against the floor under his feet. When Daryl looked down he noticed that all of the cards besides the one Rowan had in her hands were facedown.
"When you bumped the dresser my mom's cards fell," Rowan told him. Her voice came out more like a whimper.
"I'm so sorry baby," Daryl told her, "I didn't mean to ruin them." Rowan shook her head.
"It's not that," she said, tilting the card in her hands so he could see the image printed on it. The picture was a detailed drawing of a human anatomical heart with three wicked looking swords stabbing through it. Daryl fought off a chill that was creeping up his spine. "The whole deck fell face down except this one."
"What does it mean," Daryl asked. Before he even spoke the words he knew he didn't want to hear the answer. Whatever that card meant it was nothing good.
"Grief. Heartbreak. Sorrow. And a painful separation from a loved one," Rowan said. Her eyes were starting to fill with tears. Daryl could stand a lot, but he couldn't stand to see her cry. He snatched the card from Rowan's hand. His first impulse was to rip it to shreds. The only thing that stopped him was that he knew how special Rowan's mother's cards were to her. So instead he moved Rowan gently back and gathered up the rest of the cards from the floor. Daryl stacked them into a neat pile and put them away in the top drawer of the dresser they shared. Then he gathered Rowan into his arms.
"You weren't even reading them when that happened," he said as he stroked his hand over her back, "Don't mean nothing."
Rowan pulled back and looked into his eyes. She thought about telling him the truth. That there was no such thing as a coincidence. That her mother was warning her of dark times to come that they noth needed to be prepared for. But Rowan could see that Daryl was just as scared as she was. Maybe even more scared since he considered it his personal responsibility to keep her and his unborn child safe from any and all harm. He needed to believe that the cards falling when he bumped into the dresser was nothing more than cards falling because he bumped into the dresser. Rowan wiped her tears away and straightened up her shoulders.
"You're right," she told him with a soft sad smile, "I'm sorry I was being so silly about it. Let's go shower up so we can get to the party on time." She had always been a terrible liar. But so often people believed what they wanted to believe. And she could see the desired affect of her words on Daryl. He was smiling again.
Daryl hugged her one more time, wiping her tears from her cheeks with the rough tips of his fingers before he headed for the bathroom and turned on the water. He called to Rowan to see if she was coming in with him. She got all the way to the open door before she turned back. Rowan knew she was making a mistake before she got her hand on the dresser drawer and yanked it open. But it felt like the cards were calling her. She had to look. She had to know. When Daryl picked the cards up she had watched him closely. The three of swords should be safely shoved somewhere in the middle of the deck. Rowan picked up the top card. She felt like she was watching herself in slow motion, unable to stop what was happening as she turned the card over in her hands to view the image on the other side.
It should have been impossible but in her hands she was holding the same card she had been holding a few moments before. The three of swords. Except this time there was blood dripping from the wounded heart. Real blood that dribbled over her fingers and dripped onto the floor at her feet.
