Hello and welcome back to more LoCG, readers! Not much to say today, this chapter was fun to write and should address a few things people have wanted addressed such as Index confronting how Othinus did love Touma. She has admitted to it as of last chapter, but here her thoughts on Othinus should be explored more in depth.

Anyways, reviews!

Whwsms:{Touma's not dumb and it's been established that, at least at first. Index could manipulate him, so, what's to say she can't make it harder for him to notice things?

The Toumabowl is not something one takes lightly, it's like thunder dome

Yep, it's her making the first move none of the others were willing to make. Also Index doesn't know she was never a nun, but glad we can agree there.}

5had0wHand:{Beautiful, just beautiful, another wonderful entry in the diary of detective Touma.

If Index doesn't burn it down first to keep Touma to herself XD. I… guess though Anna had no interest in Touma really.}

BlueJack22:{Glad to see you reviewing more frequently, well not sure this counts as a climax… though I guess it's the climax for the events inside the library. And, you will see, eventually evil laughter}

Guest:{Not yet, thing is, with this part of the story, building suspense is highly important. I hope I'm doing well there.}

VLPURN:{Yes, she's gotten kinda perky hasn't she?… that… works better in context. Touma's got more important issues to deal with than that… Like the fact he's in a reality created inside of a mad god XD.}

fencer29:{It's more complicated then that, but such will be addressed later. But hey, it's Touma you try and claim him and not need to give your full focus there.}

Remember constructive criticism is both encouraged and desired, with that out of the way, let this tale of an infinity commence once more.

Chapter 50

Heartbeat in the Library

Blinking awake, Kamijou sat up shaking his head. Index was sleeping on the bed still, her hand held onto his. A smile on her face warmed Kamijou's heart.

Getting up and heading to the bathroom, Kamijou washed his face. His cheek hurt… like badly, but there was no bruise.

What the hell did he get up to yesterday? His memory was a bit fuzzy, he remembered getting to the park. And then the rest was an utter blur, they met Misaka… then Itsuwa and Kanzaki showed up… didn't Senpai too? And then he and Index got chased?

"Uhhgghh did I eat something weird yesterday?" Kamijou said as he got out and began cooking.

Index of course woke up shortly after he started. She stood up groggily as she smiled at him.

"Morning, Touma," she walked over to him and pulled his head slightly down before kissing his cheek. Giggling slightly as she looked at what he was doing.

Instantly the memories of yesterday became clear and Kamijou froze.

Index… had kissed him, and not just some accidental, or cheek kiss of appreciation. She had full on, kissed him on the lips, and declared she'd make him hers.

Index smirked as she saw him holding the spatula while staring off in shock. She was enjoying this! Didn't she remember what her actions had done? Kamijou had no clue why, but it had caused a large portion of the people present to begin chasing them.

Mostly girls but still, such misfortune!

Index poked Kamijou "I know you're remembering yesterday but the food is gonna overcook Touma!" Index pointed out and he snapped back to attention.

Index giggled again before going to sit down. Okay, okay so, Index was indeed actually in love with him. Despite knowing he isn't the Kamijou she met all that time ago. She loved him and wanted him despite all the misfortune he got into. How was he supposed to handle this!?

He didn't feel the same way, Index was like a younger sister to him. But that's all, he wasn't like Tsuchimikado, so he wasn't gonna be interested in someone he saw as a sister. Index was family yes, but she was family the same way Otohime was to him.

There was no one he had feelings for, like the one Index has for him. At least he was pretty sure, but then again.

He pictured a girl with long hair and an eyepatch. She was either in a bakery, or a florist shop. But she was always smiling at him, he couldn't see her face. Or hear her voice, but he knew she said this.

"Don't you already know the answer?"

He wasn't sure really, this person made him feel comfortable. But he couldn't say for sure whether it was love. Even if it was, why would he love someone he never met.

"You'll figure it out, my Understander, you always do." That person he couldn't quite remember but knew she was important. Said despite him being unable to hear her, and smiled despite him being unable to see her face.

"Touma! Let's go on a date!" Index said suddenly as she ate.

Kamijou nearly choked on his food. "I..Index! H-haven't you asked how I feel about this?"

Index tilted her head and her eyes faded to purple. "You won't know if it'll work out if you don't try Touma!" and her eyes returned to normal.

Well, he had no choice now, so he sighed "Alright, but I doubt it'll work between us." At Index glare Kamijou held up his hands nervously. "But who knows! Maybe I'll change my mind ahah..." and Index smiled.

"I'm glad you're willing to try for me, Touma" Index said, tilting her head cutely. "I wanna go Karaoke with you for one thing Touma!" she requested and Kamijou blinked.

Actually, he thought that'd be fun, so he shrugged. "Let me get ready and do a few things first, then we'll go do that."

Index's smile was glittering as the former nun happily hopped up and down. "Yay! Thank you Touma! You really do understand me best! I'll go get ready too!" She then ran into the bathroom and shut the door.

Kamijou checked the washing and drying machines and did some house chores before Index came out. She had freshened up and even brushed her hair.

She also seemed to have slightly modified her habit. She had undone a few of the pins near her legs meaning it had a sort of slit that showed off her thighs. She also seemed to have replaced the safety pins with a unique looking fastener. It was a decagon made of a pale blue metal cut in half vertically. A weird purple glass crystal was embedded in the side. It was contrasted with her white-gold habit. Instead of her hood, she wore a set of clips on either side of her head of a similar color but with lightning blue points that looked almost like a small horn or mandible.

Kamijou wasn't gonna deny she looked good, cause she did. But she didn't hit his fancy beyond that, she spun on her heel to show off. "Touma Touma! How do I look" she asked, tilting her head as she smiled cutely.

Kamijou smiled to himself "It looks nice on you, but I am curious why you modified your habit instead of just picking a different outfit." He washed his face and combed his hair as Index responded.

Thinking for a moment, Index answered "Well I'm not a nun anymore so I shouldn't wear a habit. But I also didn't want to toss it out. And considering this would be our first proper date where you understand my intentions." She bent forward in a cute manner as she tilted her head. "I decided I needed to wear something that had a symbolic meaning. So, I decided I should modify my existing habit. It was it's destruction that eventually led to me being with you." She smiled, having given her reasoning to Kamijou.

Kamijou blinked at how much thought she had put into this. "O-oh..." he smiled "Thanks I guess, Should I be wearing something like that?" he asked wondering if there was something Index wanted to see him in.

Index thought for a moment before smiling "The scarf you wore in world war Three. You went into Russia for me after all." Kamijou shrugged as he looked for the scarf after he finished fixing up his hair.

Finding it he wrapped it around his neck. For a moment he pictured himself and that blond eyepatched girl in a car sleeping. His hand darted to his shoulder and shook for a moment.

Index narrowed her eyes and a slight frown came on her face.

But this time, Kamijou noticed it, that action displeased her, why did it displease her? He lowered his hand and shook his head slightly. Smiling at Index he turned to the door "well, let's get going" Index smiled and seemed relieved slightly.

No sooner had he left the room then he felt someone grab him. "Kami-yan! I heard you're finally taken! Who's the girl who finally ended the threat of the Kami-yan disease!" Aogami's voice said from the side.

Kamijou pushed the pervert away and glared. "There is no such thing as the Kami-yan disease and I don't have a harem!" he shouted at him.

The glitter in Aogami's closed eyes however didn't fade. How Kamijou knew they were glittering, he didn't want to question. "Ah! But I noticed you didn't say you weren't taken! Come on, who's the lucky girl who finally made the move?" he asked.

Index popped out from the dorm and glared at Aogami. Touma swore that somehow… despite his eyes very clearly being closed. That they somehow widened in shock "Oh… Kami-yan, that is… AN EXCELLENT CHOICE!" The blue haired pervert grabbed Kamijou's hands as he glowed with perverted excitement. "A nun gave up her vows for you! Not just any nun either she's got a nice ass and from what I can tell a developing chest! That outfit that incorporates her habit into a unique design leaves just enough of the appeal of a nun's innocence and combines it with a hint of the dark lust hiding beneath!" He turned around and shouted up to the rest of the boy's dorms. "KAMI-YAN'S TAKEN!"

Kamijou swore that day he'd make it his personal mission.

To shatter every single student in the boy's dorm's illusions.

...

After having punched Aogami so hard he dented the wall. Touma and Index left the dorms which had erupted into cheers and shouts of joy.

Index was walking slightly behind Touma as she eyed him. He was beginning to remember, when he had put on his scarf he had reached for his right shoulder.

There was only one reason he'd do that, he was subconsciously remembering Othinus. She would always sit on his right shoulder, it was her spot in her eyes. The shoulder of the hand that was extended to save her. Offered to her to do what she desired, Index hated it.

Othinus may have loved Touma but she still killed him. She should have just asked him to help her. Had Touma willingly beared the burden of her pain Index would hold no issues with her. But she had forced them upon him, under the idea she wanted to return home.

Index remembered all Othinus went through, all she felt. A small village tribe in the Germanic areas. A frigid winter when she was born, a small well connected to the leylines which her uncle watched over.

Her first time as a god, the creation of Asgard. Not the golden city it was viewed as now. But a vast Norweigen city.

Her closest friends

Her deepest regrets

Index remembered them all, Othinus had never understood individuals. And they never understood her, called her crazy. Called her a monster, an incarnation of violence.

A wargod

Only the one who'd be named Loki saw past that. But even they didn't understand her, merely sympathized. And they were taken from her, betrayed by her own.

Index could understand now, after all. If she had just declared she created the world she was in now. Who would believe her?

No, they'd think she was crazy, delusional or worse.

Index could sympathize with Othinus, and she could understand why she did and became what she did.

But she still could not forgive her.

She didn't care that Touma and Othinus held that special connection. Understanders, it was something beyond mere intimacy. It was a bond that couldn't be broken, words couldn't describe it. A bond humans only partially achieved through a long marriage.

It was a form of closeness only reserved for the closest lovers. Not even the closest of friends could achieve it. Friends will always be barred by the selflessness of their relationship. To truly be the Understander of someone, one must accept and love their companion for everything they are. Every dark secret they hold, every part of their mind, body and soul. Friends cannot achieve it for a simple fact, they will always have some secrets between each other. While lovers lose those secrets to the other from their selfish love.

Othinus and Touma were a unique case, for their bond was born not of love. But of psychological warfare with the other.^1 But that bond, had Othinus not become a fairy, could have very easily. No Index had seen them, she knew it would have become love.

So it pissed her off that even now, Touma was still thinking of her. Whether or not he knew he was thinking of her. Othinus didn't deserve that connection with Touma, even that wargod agreed with her. Index knew that no, Othinus didn't deserve Touma.

Index deserved Touma, Touma was her human. He always returned to her, she was the one he always fought for. Fought to return to, Index was the one who Touma had fought to keep the smile of. Index was the first to try and understand Touma. Index was the one who first confessed to Touma. Touma was her human, her understander Index had known this Touma since he was born in that hospital room. She had earned him unlike every other of the female mortals who were pining after him.

None of them understood Touma, nor did they care to understand him. They didn't see him for Touma, only her and Othinus ever understood Touma. And Othinus didn't earn Touma, she cheated, earning his sympathy and affection. Othinus had taken a shortcut that left everyone else no chance.

So only Index had earned Touma.

Index paused on those thoughts, how much had Othinus effected her? This possessiveness wasn't something the old Index had. So, undoubtedly Othinus had affected her, but if she had. How come she wasn't acting like the other gods as well?

What was different between Othinus and the other magic gods Index had eaten. Thinking on that, and comparing them she came upon the answer.

Emotion, Othinus was the only one who had no longer been dulled to her emotions. Not only that but her emotions were the strongest of them all. Index had been affected by all the gods, but only Othinus had the most obvious effect.

Othinus hadn't just loved Touma, Touma was the most important thing to her. So, by consuming her Index's own emotions had been amplified.

Each of the strongest traits of each god she had ate influenced her. Nuada's nobility and confidence, The Forgotten one's detachment to humanity. Tezcatlipoca's competitiveness, and Izanagi's protectiveness.

Each had influenced her but because they were so out of touch with their emotions. Othinus's had overshadowed and even influenced how the other god's had effected Index.

As they approached the karaoke place Index asked herself one final question.

If she had been influenced by the gods she had eaten like this. Were these emotions really hers? Did she really feel this way about Touma?

And she came to her conclusion.

Yes, they were, she hadn't had a drastic change that contradicted what she felt before. The emotions already existed inside her; they had merely been amplified and brought to the surface. She was feeling them, so they were her emotions as much as they were the gods she ate.

Entering the building Index smiled at Touma, her human. She intended to make him her's, and she'd make sure he fell for her.

Entering the Karaoke place Index insisted on a private room for them. The receptionist smiled and nodded and Touma paid for the room.

Index was scrolling through the song choices having asked to go first. She wanted them to take turns doing solo's before doing a duo. Kamijou appreciated she was trying to ease him into this so he happily obliged.

"Index you found a song you want to sing?" Kamijou asked after around a minute

Index smiled and turned on her heel nodding "yep! Touma" she pressed play and a fairly sinister melody began to play "This is Distorted Mirror Shenshojin Touma!" Closing her eyes, Index began to sing.

Kamijou wasn't sure what to make of it, she was definitely good. Though it was odd hearing two Index's. The original singer had apparently sounded just like Index.

However, something about the lyrics, the way her voice overlapped with the singer. And the way Index carried herself while singing it.

It felt wrong, like something pure had been twisted.

Kamijou blinked

Was Index crying?

...

Index began to sing, the song she chose was from a certain anime about a group of girls who wielded mythical items that used songs as power. She liked it because the main character and her best friend were very similar to her and Touma.

Heck the main character's friend sounded just like her as well. So, when that character had been put in a situation similar to Index herself. The song she sang reflected Index's current feelings perfectly.

The main character was this character's sunshine, her world.

Touma was Index's world, her sunshine.

As she sang she felt images flow through her mind.

A right hand breaking through a glyph to catch her.

The dying body of Touma.

As the song continued she felt tears begin to form.

She wouldn't let Touma go again, she wouldn't let him die again.

She knew Touma wouldn't approve of what she had become. But she didn't care, she didn't want him to forgive her.

That how much she loved him, her heart beat as she moved with the music. She pulled Touma to his feet as a shocked look came onto his face. Sure it was a really bad dance but It was with Touma and that's all that mattered.

More Images passed by her mind as she sang.

Befriending a mass of AIM

Normal days that didn't change.

The world she wanted with Touma.

A world she couldn't have if Touma died fighting.

Index felt her heart beat loudly as she sung, was… was she obsessed with Touma? She felt that was a good description of her love. She didn't just love him, she was completely enthralled by him. She couldn't bear the idea of being separated from him. The mere thought caused her heart to grow cold.

How fitting she was singing this song, her obsession had led her. Like the girl in the song, she had grabbed a volatile power. All in order to stop the one she loved from fighting and getting hurt. She even obtained the power of a god like that character. And she even was willing to hurt and destroy others with that power.

All in order to protect Touma

...

The song came to a close and Kamijou had found himself being held by Index. She had cried while singing, what was she hiding from him that had burdened her?

He didn't know, Index looked so happy while singing, yet it felt so wrong. That song felt like it was Index crying out to him. Something had happened and Index had changed, yet she wouldn't tell him.

Index shook her head and smiled up at Kamijou "your turn Touma! I want to hear you sing!" she moved to the couch and sat down looking at Kamijou

Kamijou nodded as he looked through the songs of artists he knew and their lyrics. He was going through some of Arisa's when one caught his eye.

PSI-Missing

Underneath the title was a description 'I dedicated this to a fellow level 0 who convinced me to follow my dreams.'

Kamijou smiled, this felt right, selecting it he held the mic to his face. The action felt… oddly natural, had he done this before? Maybe, he was missing 15 years worth of memories.

Why did that feel incorrect, only 15?

He began to think about that while he sang. Why did he feel that was wrong? He lost 15 years of memories and only had a few months extra. So he should be 15 right? But it felt wrong. Like that was just a lie he always told himself.

As he continued to sing it he felt himself move to the song. It just clicked with him, the lyrics felt like they were specifically made for him.

His pain, misfortune, his desires and selfishness. His will and his path, he won't lose it no matter what.

The song itself felt like he was charging through an endless black labyrinth. One in which he had experienced eternity. An eternity of suffering, and infinite hell, but one where he had obtained the most important thing.

So, was that why he felt so lost now?

Did he lose that most important thing?

No… did he lose that most important person?

Where was the one who's smile he saw in that bakery or florist?

As the song ended, he saw Index's eyes wide with awe and tears once more forming in her eyes as he finished. "Touma, that… are you sure you weren't an Idol in a past life?" Index asked

Touma shuddered at that, why did that feel like something bad? "This Kamijou-san was never an Idol" he retorted, causing Index to giggle as he sat down.

Index placed her hand on his and scooted next to him as she scrolled through the music list. "You could have fooled me, Touma!" she giggled choosing another song from the same series.

Touma wasn't sure how to react as Index pulled him to his feet again. She was singing but at least this song didn't feel unsettling. Index danced around while also keeping Touma's hands in her's.

Touma had to admit this did feel fun.

Index continued to sing and saw Touma smiling, that's what she wanted to see. Pulling him in a little closer to her Index felt her hands move to his back as she rotated around him.

His eyes were on her the whole time, and Index loved every moment. Her heart was beating rapidly and she felt elated.

But it wasn't enough, she could tell Touma was only appreciating her the way an older brother does their younger sister. He was proud of her and happy to see her smile, but his heart wasn't beating in consort with hers.

Touma was actually kinda excited once his turn came around. Quickly choosing a random fun song he started singing, while doing a sort of silly little dance. Index laughed at his antics and he couldn't help but smile.

He was glad he agreed to come here actually. Sure, he didn't think he'd ever feel the same way about Index as she did him. But her smile was one of the things he wanted to protect most.

Index joined in with the song and the two of them had trouble keeping straight faces due to how ridiculous they looked. At one point they just gave up and fell down laughing.

"T-Touma! What was that? You call that dancing!?" Index held her stomach laughing

Touma wiped tears from his eyes "I didn't see you doing anything different Index" he snickered out.

Lying back, the two of them relaxed for a moment before Touma spoke up. "Hey, Index how about after this we get something to eat"

Index rolled onto her stomach grinning before leaping on top of Touma causing him to squeak and the two wrestled. "Good Idea Touma!" she said, nipping his ear before lying next to him leaning her head on his shoulder. "I really do love you Touma, not the past you, this you."

Touma blinked as his heart paused for a moment.

He never knew he had needed to hear those words.

...

Soon after they were walking to a restaurant. Index knew she had made some progress by saying that. Touma's reaction to her confession there told her a lot.

Touma had always thought he didn't deserve love because he felt he stole Kamijou Touma's life. He always felt that it was the person he was living as that deserved the love and not him. Coupled with his self depreciation and lack of self value and it was very difficult one to get through to him.

The only person he had ever felt comfortable allowing to love him was Othinus. Othinus had seen him for him and not the person he had the name of. But even Othinus had never said those specific words.

Words Touma needed to hear, Index loved the Touma before her. The Touma he was had died, but that didn't matter. He had made her fall in love all over again, so who she loved wasn't some dead hero but the living highschool boy before her.

But even then, Index could feel it… Touma didn't feel the same about her.

He had just fully accepted her love of him.

...

Kamijou wasn't sure how he felt about Index anymore. He knew she loved him, but he had always assumed that it was the Kamijou who had saved her she loved. Now, she had said she loved him, not someone else. Him, not the boy who died saving her but him. He felt guilty, didn't he steal from Kamijou Touma again? His body, his life, he was now stealing those who loved him.

But at the same time he couldn't shake the feeling that he was allowed this. As if the ghost of Kamijou Touma was smiling at him urging him forward. Telling him to make a choice, how did he feel?

As they ate Kamijou thought about that, Index was acting fairly forward. Even at one point trying to kiss him with a desert chocolate in her mouth.

Somehow the action freaked Kamijou the hell out. Something about a young girl with a black sphere in her lips kissing him. Did he somehow have bad experiences with such things?

Kamijou came to his answer as they walked down the sidewalk.

While he certainly loved Index and wanted to see her smile. He loved her the same way he loved his father, mother and Otohime. She was a precious family member that he couldn't let lose their smile. Just how an older brother would fight anyone who bullied their sister. He did the same for Index, it was a familial love.

He really couldn't feel romantically about her.

...

As noon came, Touma and Index went to the bookstore. Index wanted a few books on psychology. She was fairly curious about how the mind worked.

As she waited a thought came to her mind. Maybe Touma would fall for her if she displayed just how much she loved him. That dark thought came to her mind as she felt heat fill her cheeks.

Yes… that would do, surely if he realized just how much she loved him. He'd have to accept her, he'd have no choice right? He'd realize no one else is better for him and fall for her.

She looked down at herself shifting nervously. She really was a very naughty former nun.

A/N: ^1: So… I had written this Understander explanation and felt pretty proud of it.

Of course then Mr? had to come out and post his BTL chap with Othinus and he made a in depth analysis of their relationship. So then I go 'fuck, now my explanation looks like pure crap!' And my bro Rails is like 'it's pure crap compared to his'

Come on Mr?… I love your work man but that's just cruel to us smalltimers (JK I'm not mad)