Chapter 49

Last time, Sam had proposed a theory that the child Valerie showed them pictures of at their class reunion was the result of Freddie's one night stand with Valerie the summer after his first year of college. Freddie, of course, thought the same thing but was in complete denial of the idea.

"I was actually trying to convince myself that wasn't true. You're taking this awfully calm, aren't you?" Freddie asked her.

Sam shrugged it off, even though she wasn't thrilled about the idea. "What's past is past, Freddie. You told me everything about you and Wendy and you and Valerie. Down to every last little detail about how you and Wendy shagged just for the fun of it and how you strung Val along, popped her cherry and then ghosted her. You surely knew it was possible with either of them but since Red's kids aren't near old enough . . . well, we know there's only one half-brother to Alex out there in the world somewhere. Living in Plains, Nebraska apparently."

They were interrupted and dropped further discussion of the subject but Freddie certainly hadn't forgotten about it.

As the evening drew on, Freddie and Sam made their way back to Gibby and Carly, who now were acting awfully friendly for some cringe worthy reason. Talking to them was none other than Valerie and a tall, very well dressed African American woman who looked slightly older than any of them.

"Oh, Sam, Freddie. This is Harper. My wife." Valerie proudly announced, introducing the woman.

Harper extended a hand to first Sam and then Freddie. "Nice to meet you. I understand you guys all did a web show together back in your younger days just like Val did."

"Right, right." Sam was unsure what to say. She had no idea Valerie was a lesbian. Did Freddie really ruin this woman on men completely? "iCarly."

"So, Valerie was telling us about how her and Harper met." Carly said to Sam and Freddie.

"Do tell." Sam smiled, putting her arm around her man. "I love these kind of stories."

"Well, it was sophomore year of college. I walked into this little coffee shop just off campus, Skybucks . . . " Val began and Freddie pulled Gibby aside.

"Yo, dude. I was interested in this. New ways to pick up chicks." Gibby fussed.

"Didn't I just see you holding hands with Carly before we walked up?" Freddie asked.

"Holding hands, not married to her, man. When I go back to New Jersey, I need some new ideas. Despite what they show on those reality shows, Jersey girls are not all that easy."

Freddie rolled his eyes. "Did you see any pictures of Valerie's kids?"

"Yeah. What is it with women and showing off pictures of their kids? I even saw Sam doing it and Alex isn't even her kid. Say, I wonder who the dad is?"

"Can't say for both of them, but I'd say me, for the oldest one." Freddie said with a bit of panic in his voice.

"YOU!" Gibby shouted, earning him strange looks from everyone within ear shot.

Freddie quickly pulled him through the fire doors and into the court yard outside the cafeteria.

"Did you have to shout? And yes, me. Her son is nine days older than Alex. That mean he was conceived nine days before her, right?"

"I'm following you." Gibby nodded. "I think. Wait, what does conceived mean. Is that like, doing it?"

"Yes Gibby. Conceived means that's when his parents did it. And I did it with Valerie a little over a week before I did it with Melanie. And Melanie got pregnant with Alex."

"So you really did get Melanie pregnant?" Gibby gasped. "Is that why you married her?"

Freddie pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Some things would never change. Gibby needed a road map and both hands to find his own backside just like usual. After all, this was the man who, all the way through their teen years, thought Spencer was Carly's father, even though he was only 13 years older.

"Yes Gibby. Mels and I had a few weeks we spent together right before sophomore year of college started. That's when Alex was conceived. And right before that I had a one night stand with Valerie."

"Bu-but, she's gay." Gibby gasped. "Valerie, not Melanie."

"I KNOW Melanie's not gay! I was married to her." Freddie huffed.

"Hm, sounds like you turned Valerie away from guys. Who knows, maybe Melanie too." Gibby argued. "I mean, I tried to make a move but she didn't seem interested.

Freddie sighed deeply at his friend's suggestion.

"Well, apparently Val is now. But she wasn't then. Or at least she didn't realize it, or, I don't know, she thought she was and she was just experimenting with me. Maybe you're right and I soured her on men, it's hard to say. I just know her and I did it and her kid is the same age as Alex."

"Aren't they a little young to go trying to set up?" Gibby again began to veer off track.

"Gibby!" Freddie scolded. "I'm not trying to find my nine year old daughter a date. Much less with her half brother."

"How is someone a half a brother? I mean, Guppy's not near as big as me, but he's still a whole brother."

"Oh key-rist!" Freddie threw his hands in the air. Gibby certainly hadn't gotten any less thick since high school. "That's not what it means. I'm saying I fathered Valerie's kid. And judging by the way that Harper woman looks at me, she knows it was me. Hell, Val probably told her every last little gory detail about how I took her virginity and then ghosted her that summer after freshman year. I'm surprised she didn't just slug me one as soon as she saw my face."

Again, Gibby got confused. "You had sex with Harper, too? Dude! What is it with you and lesbians?"

"Gibby, for crying out loud, pay attention! I had sex with Valerie."

"Well shit man, everyone knows that." Gibby said so matter of factly.

"You did? I never told you that before tonight. How did you know?"

"Sam told everyone. Like how you and Wendy were friends with benefits and how you and Mel hooked up a time or two. And about the thing with Valerie. Man, I never pictured you being like that but I've got to say I was impressed. You were always so geeky, I never thought of you as a playa. Mr. Playa! Freddie the playa! Playa Benson!" Gibby offered a high five.

"It's nothing I'm proud of." Freddie said with shame. "It was a low point in my life that I'd rather forget. Aw, crabs. What happens if someday like ten years from now, Alex runs into Val's son. Like, they end up at the same college or something. And then they like each other, this is bad, real bad."

"Freddie, get hold of yourself." Gibby tried to be reasonable in a rare moment of intelligence. "First off, what are the odds that they'll ever even meet, let alone be attracted to one another? Gotta be like a billion to one."

Freddie's phone pinged a text from Sam. "I guess you're right. We need to get back in there, Sam's looking for me and for whatever reason, Carly's looking for you."

"Oh, 'cause I'm staying at her place tonight." Gibby replied. "They're probably soon ready to go."

"You what? Gibby!"

"On her couch, you perv. I was just gonna see if I could hang with Spencer but she offered, so I figured why not. And hey, she is single, right? Who knows, maybe before the night's over." He wiggled his eyebrows. "She's told me a couple of times that she doesn't have a boyfriend or anything. Do you think she's looking for a hookup?"

"Gibby!" Freddie again scolded.

As the two men were reunited with Carly and Sam, and the brunette pulled Gibby aside to search for Melanie, Freddie's nerves had not calmed down.

"Fredward, what are you acting so weird about? I mean, you've always been weird, but now you're being weirder than usual." Sam asked as they danced. "Someone slip something in your drink or some chiz?"

"I'm just thinking about Val's kid."

Sam rolled her eyes. She knew the story but he did not. Despite how fun it was to see him squirm, she figured she'd just tell him the truth.

"I thought about it and I suppose you're right, he's my kid. I wonder if I should offer to get to know him."

"Dude!" Sam attempted to interrupt him. "She told us . . . "

"Yeah, I'm sure she told you everything. Not like you didn't already know. It's just, I never even thought . . . . well, I knew it could have happened, but . . . "

'Don't you think you're jumping to conclusions here?" Sam smirked, maybe she'd let him twist a while. Nah, he was liable to give himself a stroke.

"I guess you're right. Just trying to get involved in the kid's life wouldn't be proper. I should talk to Valerie. Maybe she doesn't even want me involved. It's just that . . . "

"Freddie! Will you listen to me, her kid is not your kid. He's adopted. Well, I mean she adopted him when they got married, like I want to adopt Alex. He was Harper's kid before they met."

Freddie was confused. "How? She's gay and that kid is white as rice."

"Well, obviously so is her ex and apparently she liked men at one point in her life. Or at least for one day, like Valerie did. Val told us after you and Gib nuts ran off and did whatever it is nubs do when they're alone. Where were you two anyway? Reminiscing in the a.v. room?"

"We were out in the court yard. I was kind of having a panic attack and needed some fresh air. So you're telling me her kid, he's not my kid?"

"Nope. Not in the least, he's not even Valerie's genetically. He's Harper's and some ultra white dude named Darren she hooked up with before her cousin got abducted by pirates or some chiz. Before she knew she was into girls, apparently."

Freddie breathed a sigh of relief. He was still ashamed of himself for the way he treated Valerie but at least this way he was positive that there was no chance of some person showing up out of the blue and claiming him as their father.

The rest of the class reunion was uneventful, other than Carly's apparent connection with Gibby and her offering to drive him home in Melanie's car. After dropping Melanie off at Pam's house, Freddie and Sam were soon in the lobby of Bushwell discussing their next move.

"You want to come in, Sam. I'm sure Alex is in bed by now but you can hang out with me for a bit. Or you can stay if you want."

She took his hand and stretched up to kiss his cheek. "Sure. I'd really rather not have to be witness to whatever's going on at my place. You still have my night clothes handy?"

"Yep. Freshly washed and all, right in the bottom drawer like always." He grinned back.

"OK, now we just have to be super quiet since your mom's home."

"Right. She's probably in bed by now herself." He said as he opened the apartment door to find the place completely dark inside. "For someone who works night shift, she goes to be awfully early when she's not at work."

Sam sent Carly a text that she was staying at Freddie's, Carly responded with a winky emoticon for whatever reason and they changed for the night and settled into his bed. Their quiet conversation turned to one subject from earlier in the evening.

"Whacha thinking about, Princess?" He asked when it was obvious she wasn't falling asleep as quickly as usual.

"I don't know, seeing all those people with big families, it makes me really sad that we'll never have that."

"We've already talked about you legally adopting Alex once we're married." He grinned at the thought through the darkness. She couldn't see it, but she could hear the smile on his face. "We have a family, Sam."

"Sure, and I kind of feel like she's mine anyway but I mean, we'll never have kids together. Like, the whole thing, we won't get to do any of it. The trying, waiting for the pregnancy test, the doctor's visits every month, then trying to choose a name. You in the goofy hospital garb in the delivery room. None of it."

"OK, maybe some of it might not happen but the other parts can, Alex's first day of middle school, he first date, prom, her graduation."

"Did you just say something that makes me think you're OK with Alex dating. I thought you said she wasn't allowed to go out with boys until she was through grad school?"

"If I had my way, she wouldn't but we both know that's not realistic but more to the point, if you want, we can sure try to have a kid or two of our own."

"Not that trying isn't fun, but what's the use in hoping when we know what the result is gonna be. It's like entering a race if you have a sprained ankle. Sure you can try but you know you're not going to finish." She complained, he could hear the sadness in her voice at the reality of it all.

"So you've really been thinking about this, huh?"

"Well, yeah. Not that I have any kind of biological clock ticking or anything but seeing all our classmates and their kids, and how proud they all are of them, it just makes me think, that's all. I mean, I'll be totally proud of Alex and whatever she does and I am looking forward to every one of those special milestones with her, but I don't know how to explain it, it's just different. It feels weird."

He empathized with her. He knew how much Sam loved Alex and how much she enjoyed everything they did together. He also knew that, despite her attitude in her younger days, she was good with kids and would be an excellent mother. In whatever way he could, he wanted to give this to her if that's what she wanted.

"Sam, your doctor, she told you that there was a slight chance, right?" He asked.

Sam nodded, he couldn't see but he felt her head move on the pillow.

"Then let's try, baby. Make an appointment, let's talk to her, get some advice, maybe a referral to a specialist. Let's see if there's anything we can do to increase the odds and try."

"But we're not married yet. I don't want to be one of the women, Freddie. Eternally engaged. Or like my mom, a reputation as a complete skunk bag."

"For one, no one is a skunk bag just because she has a kid and isn't married. That's some goofy tradition, old conservative people like my mom believe. As long as there are two loving parents, that's all that matters. And two, we can get married any time you're ready, baby."

"But I thought you said you wanted some big fancy wedding with all our friends and your weird relatives there. I thought I was gonna have to force you to keep it simple by withholding sex or something."

"Sammy. Baby, as long as we're getting married I don't care how we do it. Do I want a big, fancy church wedding that I can invite all my co-workers and relatives to, sure. Do I want to show off that I'm marrying the most beautiful, perfect girl in the world, and have it published in the paper and put a thousand pictures on our Splashface page, absolutely. I've been thinking though, and I realize you're not comfortable with all that and it won't make you happy, so I don't need all that. All I need is you."

"You know what would make me comfortable? What I do need?" She pressed herself into him.

"What's that?" He asked, hoping where her suggestion might lead.