WARNING: Bulimia (mostly aftermath). Also a tiny teensy bit NSFW, briefly.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
By the time Rise had bid her friend goodnight, she felt physically drained. Not getting to enjoy the onsen had been bad enough without fighting with Chie and comforting Ai. She was used to having to go through a lot of stress and drama thanks to her previous tours, but this was supposed to be a vacation! But there wasn't much she could do.
The minute she made it back to her room and heard the retching noise, she knew she wasn't going to get her sorely-needed rest anytime soon.
"Ebi-chan?" she asked as she pushed open the bathroom door. "Are… are you alright?"
The girl looked up at her with puffy eyes, bottom lip wobbling as she took a few shuddering breaths. The tears and redness made it fairly obvious she hadn't just been doing sound effects. "O-oh, you're back…"
"Yeah. Um, I'm sorry to interrupt."
"It's…" Her brow furrowed hard. "I'm sorry you already have to see me like this… I thought… ugh. I'm stupid."
"No way," she reassured her in a soft tone, kneeling down to wrap an arm around her back. "Not stupid. This is part of how you lost that weight a couple years ago, right?"
"Don't you judge me, bitch. I've already heard all the shit about it eroding the enamel of your teeth, blah blah blah. But this got me there when dieting wasn't enough."
"I wasn't judging you. Seriously, I've gone through a lot of weird fad diets to keep myself looking flawless onstage; maybe not… this," she added, gesturing toward the toilet. That did prompt Ai to give it a quick flush. "But I definitely tried a few things that weren't very smart; pills, and oh my God, that all-persimmon diet was a nightmare. You do not want details."
Ai nodded as she cleared her throat, then spat. Rise looked away briefly. "Y-yeah. Um… thanks. Guess I'm just used to my mother's rants about how horrible it was for me and I was gonna ruin myself. But she never approved of jack shit I've done."
"Well, I'm also going to tell you that I hope you don't need to do it much. Because I care about you and your health. Can I ask why you did it tonight?"
"Well… because…" Rise's head tilted slightly to better catch her gaze, and she finally sighed and confessed, "Because I started getting really body-critical, okay? Bowl Cut really got to me. And now I'm pissed at myself for falling off the wagon and purging again, but I'm trying not to beat myself up about that. Just a whole fucking mess."
"Ah." She thought about explaining just what she had left the room to accomplish, but figured it would be better coming from Chie herself. So instead, she just cuddled her a little closer. "Well I still think you're the prettiest girl in the room. Besides me."
"Vanity, thy name is Risette." They both snorted, though Ai's was a lot more subdued. "I'd kiss you but I really should mouthwash first."
Rise stood with her, still leaving her hand on her back as she brushed her teeth, deciding it was worth it to be a little more thorough. Then he leaned her chin on her shoulder, smirking playfully.
"Yes? May I help you?"
"You know… if you're done sticking your finger down your throat, I could try sticking mine somewhere else."
Silence fell for a few solid seconds before she got a deadpanned response. "Girl. No."
"What?"
"Just… no."
"Awww, but I thought you liked it," she whined.
"I did, but that was like, the least sexy way you could have offered. Really gross." When she turned to leave and saw Rise pouting hard, eyes large and pleading, she rolled her eyes and shoved her face away.
"HEY!"
"Not my fault you do such a weak sad puppy impression." But once she was outside the bathroom, Ai turned back with a smirk. "You coming, puppy?"
All Rise could think about was that small collar Yukiko had been wearing lately — though not as often in Okinawa. Did Chie call her a puppy? Was that why she started wearing it from time to time? She crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm no puppy. I'm just a hurt girlfriend."
"Hurt how? I didn't do a damn thing to you."
"You rejected meeee…"
"I rejected your nasty bulimia-related pun," she laughed. "I get that you were trying to cheer me up, though. Good try, better luck next time."
That concession got Rise to stop grumping, at least. She slid into the futon beside Ai's and snuggled close to her, nuzzing against her neck and humming contentedly. Slender arms wrapped around her to keep her close, and her heart filled with joy; this was exactly what she wanted. This right here was worth its weight in gold.
"Hey, Kujikawa."
"Hmm?"
"You…" A breath that Rise could feel as much as hear, caressing over her skin lightly. She loved that. "Sorry if I'm a little bitchy sometimes. But I do appreciate you — and all you've been doing to include me, make me feel like myself. You're a badass bitch."
Grinning hard, she kissed her collarbone as they settled in to sleep. "You are, too. I'm so proud of you!"
"Proud of me for failing at everything?"
"Proud of you for working so hard to be who you want to be. Just because there's more work left to do… it doesn't mean you're no good, or that you disappointed me. I see you fighting and I want to fight right alongside you. Always."
Settling in and relaxing at last, she whispered, "You'd better. Because I'm absolutely not a fairweather friend. Now that you're my bitch, you're my bitch till the end. Bet on it."
"Bet on it," Rise echoed with a big dopey grin. She didn't even feel any shame.
~ o ~
If Rise thought they might have to wait and see the results of Chie's soul-searching, she definitely no longer thought that once they were awoken at the crack of dawn by a firm knock on their door. Rise got up to answer since Ai had such a rough night, even though sleeping in was a thing of the past for both of them now.
"Yes?" she sighed, rubbing at her eyes.
"Hey." She was still sweaty from her morning run. Seemed even on vacation, she couldn't let her body lapse from the peak physical condition she kept it at — even though she wasn't really on any sports teams besides the martial arts club.
"May, um, may we help you?"
Glancing down at Rise's disheveled oversized t-shirt, she scratched the back of her head and laughed nervously. "Okay, so maybe this was a dumb idea. Sorry! It's vacation and all, I can come back later."
"Nope, you're already here. Wanna come in?"
So Chie came in. Obviously. As she entered and stepped out of her shoes, looking around nervously, she saw Ai starting to sit up and grimaced. Rise patted her on the shoulder but that was all she could give her; this was still going to be about supporting her girlfriend, not babying someone else who would benefit more from sucking it up on their own.
"Hey, Ebihara. So um… can I talk to you?"
"No."
The way Chie's face fell honestly made Rise feel a rush of sympathy for her, despite the fact that she basically deserved it. "Oh. Yeah, I guess that's-"
"You can wait," she sighed as she pushed to stand from the floor. "I gotta piss. And since like, you're the one eating crow and all, you can wait until I'm done with that."
Chie didn't answer. At all. Rise naturally assumed that had something to do with guilt, or chagrin at being reprimanded yet again. A very understandable emotion, all things considered. But she also noticed Chie's eyes were exceptionally wide for whatever reason. What was that about? She turned back to see if her girlfriend had any input-
Oh. That was why.
Ai was wearing panties and a baby doll tea, so she was technically covered. Unfortunately, her morning wood was so prominent that the tip of said wood was poking up beyond the waistband of her undergarment — which was fairly small, to be completely fair, and probably not designed to contain anyone's full-blown erection. Combined with the thinness of her undergarment, the entirety of her cock was basically on full display.
"You know, I would say 'take a picture, it'll last longer', but uh… don't. I don't need that floating around." Ai cleared her throat. "I'll be right back." Then she wasted no more time heading to the head.
"Okay, have fun," Rise half-joked. That only earned her a middle finger before the door shut.
Once they were alone, Chie sidled up to her and hissed, "Oh my GOD."
"What? I mean, you saw it last night!"
"No, I mean… I saw it when it was, uh… sleeping? But it's wide awake as hell now!" Glancing over at the door again, she leaned in to hiss, "That thing is huge! Compared to how it was before, it's like, three times as big! At least!"
Chuckling softly, she whispered, "Believe me, I know. Well, okay, I actually saw it this way first, but…"
"And that didn't scare you?"
"No? Why would it scare me? Surprised, definitely."
"But what about when she… you know, when you two…"
Rise just shrugged until Chie made an extremely crude gesture. "OH!" Cheeks starting to flush with colour, she nudged her with an elbow. "W-we haven't done that yet! Wow!"
"Oh. Like, you haven't? But I thought guys…" When Rise's eyes began to narrow, she slowly began to nod. "I did it again. But okay, people who have dicks — I thought they were like, always ready to start using 'em."
"No, Ai's not like that. I mean, I kind of had to talk her into trying something, but… she did let me um…"
Now it was Rise's turn to make a crude gesture which involved both her hand and sticking her tongue into her cheek. Chie both blinked rapidly and shook her head out, as if she had been splashed with cold water. "WHOA. So that- I mean, have you ever done that before?"
"Never! It's not like I didn't get offers, mostly in the industry… superfans. But no, I was too young during most of that; I knew I'd be tempted so I kinda told myself going into it that I was gonna keep an imaginary lock on my undies until I was a full-fledged woman. Undies and everywhere else. If they really wanted me for me, they could wait, and none of them wanted to do that, so…"
"Ugh, men are so gross. I'm really glad I'm not dating any; I really don't think I could have handled it."
"They probably couldn't have handled you, either," Ai sighed as she reemerged from the bathroom. The situation had apparently been taken care of; she was wearing a robe, but even beneath that it was clear she wasn't dealing with any runaway bulges.
"Oh, uh… yeah!" Chie's laugh did a terrible job of covering her anxiety. "Good one! Yeah…"
Ai laughed sycophantically along with her — until suddenly her laughter cut off and she demanded very directly, "What do you want, Coconut Head?"
"I, uh…" A hard swallow. Rise was worried for a second that she was going to chicken out. "I'm sorry."
"Speak up? It almost sounded like you apologised, but gosh, I'm just a dumb boy. Can't trust my boy-ears."
"Yeah, I deserve that. But like, you are, y'know? From everything I can tell, everything I've known my whole life… you're just a boy who makes a really good girl. But!" she burst out when Ai sighed and folded her arms over her chest. "But, I'm… I'm gonna try to learn. Like, Yukiko and I are having to learn other shit, too, so… so I guess I'll just… add more?"
Now Rise could tell playtime was over. Her girlfriend looked extra intense when she began walking closer to the other two, staring Chie down hard. "I'm not a college course. I'm not a science experiment, or an object lesson, or any of that shit. I'm Ai Ebihara. That is my legal name, and this is my legal body. It's not perfect, but hell, neither is yours — even Rise has imperfections, though she has less than most."
"O-oh, thanks," Rise stammered, not having expected the random compliment.
"Anytime. So, do you hear me? We good?"
Chie actually pointed at herself, as if double-checking that she really did mean to speak to her. "O-oh, yeah! I mean, I dunno for sure, but… if… like, you at least get that I was just trying to follow the rules last night, right? I get now that it hurt you — Rise explained, and I think I even understood most of it. That wasn't what- I just… I didn't mean to make you feel like you're…"
"Chill," Ai sighed, most of the fire flowing out of her tone as she clapped the nervous girl on the shoulder. "I get it. You're dumb, not evil. Most people are pretty dumb when it comes to this topic, so I can't even really fault you. And it's not like I've given you very many reasons to want to be nice to me or give me any benefits of doubts. But I gotta ask something from you."
"Huh? What's that?"
"Don't do shit like that in public ever again. To me, or any other trans girl. Like I get that your motivation wasn't malicious, but it's not just about me getting thrown out of an onsen — which does suck. But imagine if some guys overheard you yelling about me being in there."
Chie just stared. Finally, she said, "If they heard you…? I mean, what about it? You think they would make you join them?"
"You dumb little-" She facepalmed to keep from finishing that thought. "Nope. Not your fault." Sighing, she looked up at her bleakly. "Guys already have that whole 'chivalry' thing beaten into them from birth. Like, it's every man's 'duty' to protect women and whatever. So like, add to that girls like me being 'weirdos' and 'perverts', and…" Still no recognition behind Chie's eyes. Rise had already gotten it, but she let Ai continue steering the conversation. "Violence, dude. They would beat my ass to a bloody pulp."
"Wait, what? Oh — no, come on, they would not. And even if they did, you're a guy, you… could…" At least this time she winced all on her own. "Sorry. But I just meant physically; it's not like you're some little princess, you could take it."
Even before she finished, Ai was shaking her head. "Nope. Like, I hear you, but I'm not really built for that kind of beating — never was, even when I identified as male."
"See, what does that even mean? 'Identified as' — I just… it's like a whole new universe or something!"
"This is all really simple, I promise; you just have to get used to it a little at a time. But you got a crash course right in front of you, if you want it."
"Didn't you just tell me 'I'm not a science experiment' or whatever?" But she still looked thoughtful. "You… have a really big dick. That makes it even harder to forget you're not a real girl."
"Regular girl," Rise corrected. "She's completely real, okay?"
"I am a regular girl," Ai corrected them both, making Rise dip her head in shame. She had really thought she had a lock on this by now! "Honestly, except for that 'really big dick', I'm probably a more normal chick than Satonaka's kung-fu ass over here."
"HEY! That's… well, pretty true, but still!"
Creeping back over to Ai, Rise whispered, "I'm sorry, did I mess up?"
"No, not really. Just still learning; you're good." Then she returned her attention to Chie. "Calm your ass down. The reason I spoke up is that 'normal' and 'regular' work fine for you, but they really other me." At the blank look she received, she rolled her eyes hard and explained, "Make me feel like even though I'm just human like you guys, I don't get to be in the same category; I'm some space alien or a sideshow freak. Which, hey, you have called me that last one within the last twenty-four hours, so I wonder why?"
Chie grimaced hard, fists flexing at her sides in frustration. Not anger; at least, her anger didn't seem to be aimed at Ai anymore. "But you are. Not because I said you are; it's just not normal for boys to get breast implants and… and wear dresses and seifuku, and makeup, and… it's strange! So why am I the bad guy for just saying that it's different? I didn't do it to hurt you!"
"Because you didn't say 'different'!" Ai snapped back, making Chie flinch. "You said 'freak'! You know how fucking loaded that word is? Do you not hear the negative connotation? You ever wanted to be called a word reserved for subway perverts and murderous drug addicts, just because you wear clothes that are 'off limits'?!"
"W-well… no! I just… I don't know, I thought you knew you were one!"
Ai nodded a little more as they faced off across from each other. Rise felt her stomach trying to drop, but told herself to trust that Ai knew what she was doing. "So it's okay for me to call you an idiot."
"Huh?"
"You get really shitty grades, Satonaka. Definitely. And you have to see your own report cards. So because you are 'academically challenged', that makes it fine when I insult you about it."
"Oh. Wait, that's not the same!"
"How?"
"I… I don't know, it's just not?" But at Ai and Rise's stares, she swallowed hard and scuffed at the floor with her sock feet. "O-or maybe it is, I guess. I've never met anybody like you! Stop treating me like a criminal because I don't know all these weird new rules, I… I just wanted to do the right thing, I didn't know it was the wrong thing, you bitch!"
Even while Ai was raising her eyebrows, privately, Rise couldn't help smiling to herself. Chie had called her a bitch while running purely on instinct; it meant she really thought of her as a woman. This was promising, even if not a complete win.
"No, you didn't. But you do know now, and I expect better of you from now on. If… you just try to really see me instead of worrying about what I'm packing."
"Okay, well, that's gonna be super difficult, considering you're keeping a whole daikon down there," Chie remarked, pouting hard and folding her own arms over her chest.
"You talk about it so often I almost wonder if you wanna see it again."
Sputtering the way Chie did in response did not make it any less likely that Ai was right. "NO! Y-you probably just wanna flash me again! That would make three times, by the way!"
"You walked in on us first thing in the morning. And I could forgive you for not knowing this, but sometimes these things start their days in that condition; had nothing to do with a visit from Sweatynaka."
Against her own will, Rise giggled at that insulting nickname. "HEY!" Chie snapped. "That's not funny! Don't laugh at that!"
"Okay, but really, now…" Ai strolled a little closer, a playful leer in her eyes as she stalked her prey. "You want a ride on this train? Not that you get one. Just curious."
"Well… I am… it's not you. But I have been…" She turned to Rise and asked, "I can trust him- her, right? I know I can trust you. But she's new, I'm…"
"Yeah, you can trust her," she chuckled softly. So much progress.
"Okay. I am really curious about how they feel, and um… what it's like, uhhh, getting…" She swallowed hard. "Penetrated? Because like, Yuki-chan and me have been having a ton of fun just using hands and mouths and stuff. Definitely! But lately we've been talking about getting a- a fake one. You know."
Ai's mouth dropped open for a mouth before she breathed, "Ohhhh. So you two really… okay. Well, damn, that is certainly a step you're taking."
"Yeah! But like, Rise just told me you two haven't gone that far. I guess I just wanted to know, um, anything you could tell me. Or something. But it's cool if you don't have anything to tell!"
"No, yeah, I get it. But sorry, girl. Looks like nobody in this room's been penetrated quite yet."
Snorting a little, Rise couldn't resist saying, "I mean, that's not exactly true."
"Hm? Oh-" Ai tensed up, looking at her warningly. "No. Do not."
"Huh?" Chie asked distractedly, because she had been glancing down at the union of Ai's thighs again, unable to stop thinking about the 'foreign presence' there. Even if she was starting to understand and working on being less accidentally insulting, it seemed she still had quite a few little wrinkles to iron out.
"None of us might have been dicked down, but Ai-"
"KUJIKAWA!"
Giggling, she held up both hands in front of her. "It's not a big deal! But fine, fine."
"Wait… what are you guys talking about?" Chie asked, finally focusing on the conversation fully.
"Ugh…" Ai shook her head, then said in resignation, "She was talking about me getting fingered, which like, that technically wasn't what we were talking about at all. But it's penetration, so she thinks she's hilarious. Annoying slut."
"If anybody's a slut, it's you when I do it," Rise countered with a smug little smirk. Ai just glared.
"Wait, wait, wait, whoa," Chie bade them as she waved her hands back and forth, screwing her eyes shut for a second. "Time out. What are you talking about, you fingered Ai? You can't do that, she doesn't have a pussy."
"That's not where I fingered her." No response; no comprehension in her features. There may have been some merit to those 'academically challenged' comments… "Think about it. She was really into Narukami-senpai before, right?" A slight nod. "Where do you think he would have banged her if she ever got him to the finish line?"
"Where? Well I guess it would… be… YO."
A solid five minutes of pure laughter slipped by for Rise and Ai thanks to the look of abject horror that crept into Chie's face. Seemed that was something the woefully-inexperienced jock truly had yet to consider, and the image entering her brain had broken it completely. Priceless.
To Be Continued…
