Chapter 3 - Crumbling Composure


It was the warmest day out of the week. Well, warmer in the Southern Watertribe was still below freezing. But the villagers felt the distance. It was truly a great day for hunting and fishing. The sun was shining, no clouds in the sky, barely a hint of a light breeze. Hakoda decided it was the perfect day to take his son out on a fishing trip.

The past couple of days had been very traumatic for their little family. Hakoda had lost the love of his life, his children had lost their mother, and their grandmother lost their daughter-in-law. Hakoda had already checked in with Katara after the loss of their mother. Today was Sokka's turn.

The beginning of their trip was almost entirely silent. The only exchange between them was moments when he needed to hand something to Sokka or ask him to help with rowing. After a few long moments of silence in the boat, Hakoda eased into a conversation by starting with comments about the beautiful weather. Sokka wasn't going to budge. The grief from the loss of his mother felt like someone had punctured a knife into his heart, carved out a giant piece of it and left him to suffer and live on without it. He wanted to appear strong and brave. He feared that showing his emotions would disappoint his father. His father was always so brave and courageous, he rarely let anyone see what he was truly feeling. And being so young and impressionable, Sokka wanted to be just like his father. So Sokka kept his face stone hard and serious. But under that was a very hurt little boy. If he did so much as mutter more than a sentence, he risked shattering that facade.

"Do you remember Grandpa?" Hakoda asked the little boy.

The question had caught the little boy completely off guard. The stern, serious expression Sokka had been forcing upon his face every day since he lost his mother had finally gone away. And when he looked up at his father he was grateful that his father's eyes were pointed out at the great seat amongst them. But only for a second.

When Hakoda met his gaze, Sokka's eyes widened for a second. He appeared to be frightened. Scared that his father would see through his mask and realize that he was just lost, confused, and sad. Hakoda finally saw the innocent little boy his son truly was once again. He narrowed his eyes at him; not to frighten him but to reiterate the question without speaking it. Sokka only nodded in response.

"I know you don't share the same memory of him as I do," Hakoda started, "But I'm glad you at least remember him a little bit. You were still very little when we lost him. Your sister was just a baby."

Sokka nodded. "I remember his white hair, and the little bun he had at the top. He had a long beard too. He always smiled at me and ruffled my hair whenever he saw me. He was missing one of his front teeth. When he would hug me, he'd pick me up off the ground, squeeze me tight and talk about how fast I was growing or how heavy I was getting."

Hakoda let out a little chuckle at the memory. His eyes were closed and he nodded his head.

"He loved you two a lot. I'm glad you remember something about him," Hakoda commented.

"But why did you ask me about grandpa?" Sokka asked.

Hakoda let out a little sigh before he spoke, "I just wanted to know if you remembered anything about him. But more importantly, I wanted to know if you understand what death means."

Sokka's chin began to quiver. He had to blink several times and take a deep breath before he could speak again.

"I understand," Sokka told his father, "When someone dies, they're no longer alive. And it means they're not coming back. Like... Like..."

"Like mom," Hakoda finished the sentence for the boy, who was visually upset now. "I wanted to make sure you would remember her, too."

Hakoda gazed over at the little boy, who's head was turned to the side, and teary eyes pointed out at sea. It broke his heart to see him so upset. He knew that Sokka was fighting it every day. He didn't understand that it was okay to express emotions.

"Sokka," Hakoda spoke very gently. His son refused to look at him, so he continued to speak, "It's okay to be upset. It's okay to cry if you need to. Don't try to hold it in."

And just like that, it was as if a dam had broken. All of the tears that Sokka had held back finally came pouring out. Sokka sobbed for a few minutes, pouring his little heart out in tears.


"Hey dad."

Sokka ducked into the small room and bowed his head to his father. On the outside, his face was serious, stern, stone-faced. However, on the inside, he was battling to keep his composure.

His father favored him with a weak grin. "It's so good to see you, son."

Sokka repositioned the chair beside his bed before sitting down in it. He leaned in, resting his hands on the side of the bed. There was a moment of silence. Sokka had so much he wanted to say, things he wanted to apologize for, secrets to spill, emotions to release... but he didn't know where to start. He observed the general condition his father was in and let out a sigh.

"How are you feeling?" he finally asked his father.

The old man let out a noise of protest as he adjusted himself to sit up a bit. Sokka practically leaped forward to give him a hand, but Hakoda waved his hand away dismissively.

"I'm comfortable," Hakoda answered with a slight chuckle, "It may not look like it, but I am."

Sokka let out an unsettled laugh. Even though his father was on his death bed, he still had his sense of humor. It would've been more comforting if Sokka wasn't about to say what could potentially be his last goodbye. Clearly, his unease was shown on his face. His father's brows rose in concern and he grabbed one of Sokka's hands.

"What is it, Sokka?" he asked.

Sokka dropped his head and let out a sigh. "We've been through a lot- I've been through a lot. A lot more recently than in general."

"You have a lot on your chest," Hakoda responded, "I'm all ears. I'm not going anywhere."

Sokka grinned at the remark. Still with his head down, he let out a shaky breath and shook his head. Hakoda was anticipating the flood gates of tears to burst from his son. He could tell he was struggling to keep it together. The silence was so heavy, too.

"As your father, you know I'm always here to advise you, for council, anything," Hakoda pried, "And I'd love to know what's been going on in your life in the past year."

That last sentence grabbed Sokka's attention. He perked his head up at him. The realization that it's been a whole year, and then some, since he's seen his father was eye opening. While he felt guilty about that, it was the disbelief that time had gone by that fast that really got to him.

"I wish I could've been here more frequently," Sokka said, "But this past year alone has been chaotic."

"Well, are you going to tell me about it or keep leaving me in suspense?" Hakoda teased.

Sokka nodded. He took a deep breath before he confessed it all, "I made a mistake-a huge mistake."

If he had continued talking anymore he was going to burst into tears. He paused to try and control his quivering chin as he reflected upon the events that occurred over the past year. The events that directly affected his family and cost him his marriage.

"And it was all my fault," he continued. And that's when the tears finally came through. He bowed his head into his hands to muffle his sobs. He felt a hand on his shoulder that turned into a comforting squeeze. No words were spoken as Hakoda waited for his son to carry on.

"Suki and I are getting a divorce," he went on, "And like I said, it's all my fault-because of the mistake I made that could have so easily been avoided. I cheated on her; I slept with another woman."

He peaked through his fingers to see his father's reaction. His father gaped at him in disbelief. He was silent for a moment, before his shocked expression turned into disappointment.

"I know. I'm ashamed, too," Sokka admitted. "But that's not even the worst part." His father groaned. He had an inkling as to where this story was going. "It was Toph. And... and now she's pregnant."

"Spirits, Sokka!" Hakoda barked, "How coul-how dare you? How dare you do that to Suki? What were you even thinking?"

Sokka's head fell down to his chest and shook it side to side. "I know, I know. I don't know what I was thinking. I was drunk-not like that's a valid excuse-but that only added to the equation..."

In the corner of his eye, Sokka saw his father shaking his head.

"I'm facing the consequences of my stupid mistake. Suki found out and divorced me. The kids don't even understand; they have no idea. They have no idea that I wont be returning to Republic City with them, or that their half-sister is there, too," Sokka poured out in a teary confession.

Hakoda needed a moment to absorb all the information that his son had just spewed out at him. To say it was shocking was an understatement. Hakoda had expected this visit with his son to be similar to his daughter's; teary admissions of guilt and apologies. Then, he would reveal the will he wrote that would announce his son to be his successor as Chieftain of the Southern Watertribe.

But this was entirely different. How was he going to transition to the will after this? He wanted to scold his son. And, hell, for a second he wanted to revoke his wishes and grant them to someone else. But that was ridiculous. He couldn't punish his son for that. Sokka was his own, full-grown adult being, in control of his own actions who was forced to live through his own mistakes just like everyone else. Although what he did wasn't morally right, he didn't break any laws. Preventing his son to be his successor would just be biased judgement. It would raise questions amongst the village and stir up rumors. No one outside of their family needed to know this information.

Hakoda hadn't noticed that he'd been silent for a few minutes. Sokka was staring at him with dire anticipation. His fists were clenched, shoulders tense, eager to face his father's judgement. He wasn't sure if he was going to face further rebuke or just be left in the silence of his father's obvious disappointment in him.

"Aren't you going to say something?!"

Hakoda sighed and his eyes fell to the corner of the room, away from his son's. He silently shook his head. He wasn't even sure what to say. He was disappointed in his son, but he didn't want to be. He knew tomorrow wasn't promised, especially for him, and didn't want to let this be the last possible interaction with his son.

"You have acknowledged your mistake and now you are dealing with the consequences, like you said. But remember, everything happens for a reason. Now, you're on a new chapter of your life, whether you like it or not," his father went on, "But fortunately, a new chapter allows new beginnings; new people, new setting, new responsibilities."

Sokka perked his head up at him at the last few words. There was something in the way he said it. It sounded more like a prophecy.

"You are not your mistakes, Sokka," his father's voice was very serious but also soothing. It was as if Sokka was talking to a great ancient spirit. "Remember what I used to tell you as a boy; every hurt is a lesson. Accept your situation, admit to your mistakes and don't dwell on them."

Sokka nodded along and thanked his father. "Anything else?"

Hakoda nodded. There was indeed one last thing to talk about. This time, it would be coming from Hakoda. And this was not something he could just casually throw into the conversation. This was a very serious situation, requiring arrangements, formalities and more. But he couldn't keep his son on his toes. So, he just went for it.

"I have it in writing that you would be my successor," Hakoda finally told him, "When my time is finally here, I'd have you be the next Chieftain. Do you accept? Would you want to be the next Chief of the Southern Watertribe?"


To be continued...

A/N: Sorry this was very choppy. I want to keep these chapters short. So the next chapter will be a part 2 of this. As you can tell by how (in)frequently I'm releasing these chapters, I'm very busy and haven't had a lot of time to write. I'm writing this as I go, so there may be a few changes along the way. If the next chapter isn't too long, I'll probably just merge it into one. Thank you for sticking with me here. Until next time.