Lori was trotting back and forth inside the bunker, growing more and more claustrophobic.
Luna felt like she was running out of oxygen and started imagining the walls closing in on them.
The curled up Lola was shaking and twitching uneasily.
"Guys, I really need to go to the little handymen`s room!" Lana complained while sweating and pressing her hands and legs against her crotch.
"Shut up and hold it in!" a hysterical Lori snapped.
Lisa was the only one who remained composed.
"She`s been absent for a prolonged amount of time. Chances are high that she too fell prey to Luan." she said stoically when they heard a knock from above.
"FINALLY!" Lori rushed up and opened the hatch. To everyone`s relief, she met a smiling Leni.
"Hey everyone!" she waved into the bunker.
"So the coast`s clear?!" Lori asked her with a crazed smile.
"Actually...I dunno." her smile faltered.
"You see, I was gonna go to the beach to see if the coast`s clear like you`ve asked. But then it occurred to me that we don't live near the sea or even the Great Lakes. So I came back to ask what kind of "coast" you were talking about?"
Her report caused a shockwave of facepalms, except for Lori, who's unhinged grin froze in place with only her right eye twitching. It took every ounce of her willpower to stay where she was and not choke the life out of her sister.
"Leni, I wasn't asking you to find an actual coast...' she began in an eerily sweet voice "...I wanted you to check the house and see if it was safe to enter? Can you do that?" she finished trough clenched teeth.
"Oh?" Leni realized and smiled dumbly. "Sure I can! Why didn't you just say so?" she replied merrily before leaving.
Then she stopped and looked over her shoulder. "Eh, why do you want me to do that again? You see, as I was taking a stroll I thought about that super cute sweater I saw at the mall, and I like thought: should I buy it? Or maybe I shouldn't..."
As she babbled on, Lori started twitching.
"Excuse me for a second." she said in an unnervingly calm manner.
Lori closed the hatch, but not even the bunker's thick walls could contain the furious scream that soon erupted within it.
Leni flinched. "Did I say something wrong?" she worried.
Five seconds later, all her sisters were thrown out on the lawn. The last to come out was a furious Lori.
"THAT`S IT! We`re all going in!"
"I definitely prefer it when vampires are modeled after Nosferatu than pretty boy Dracula." Ryan declared.
"Me too, the less human they look the more fascinating I find them." Lucy agreed.
"Exactamundo, kid. Same with werewolves. When I see a werewolf flick I expect to see a real, bloody wolfman, not some hobo with fake fangs and excessive body hair!"
They were both sitting on Lynn`s bed as Lucy showed Ryan her own homemade jack-o'-lantern.
The peeved jock was leaning against the door with her arms crossed. She hated being locked out of conversions, but when someone was openly talking with Lucy of all people about her weird hobbies and interests there was nothing she could add to the discussion.
She could only feel jealous and frustrated that her creepy, little sister had Ryan`s full attention.
Ryan, on the other hand, found himself quite liking Lucy`s company.
It was odd for sure, as he was never particularly fond of younger children, not to mention that Lucy used to hate him for what he and Lyle originally did to Lincoln and her sisters, but now that the reset button had been pressed, he was quickly learning that they were more alike than he had thought, not just in their ghoulish complexions and loner backgrounds.
"Nice work. You must really like Halloween?"
"Yes, it's my favorite day of the year. The only time that people embrace and celebrate the darker and scarier aspects of life." the goth smiled fondly.
"We never had Halloween back in Cape Town, but that didn't stop me from celebrating it anyway." Ryan recollected.
"What did you do?" Lucy asked with intrigue.
Ryan shrugged. "Usually I dressed up as a monster, stalked the night and scared the crap out of the local kids in town. I went out as the Grim Reaper, Jason, a zombie, a werewolf, last year I just covered myself in fake blood, wore some fake entrails and stabbed a fake ax in my cranium. That one was a killer."
"Wow. Wicked." Lucy was awestruck. Lynn just rolled her eyes.
"And do you do something special on Halloween?"
"Not really..." Lucy shifted shyly. "But I always wanted to host my own haunted house, or something similar, like maybe a haunted maze. But no wants to help me make it or to participate in it." she explained with a tinge of sadness in her subdued tone.
"Well excuse us, Duchess of Darkness." Lynn responded snidely. "But we all have some semblance of dignity and a reputation to keep intact."
Behind her bags, Lucy glowered at her when Ryan placed his arm over her shoulders.
"But I don't have either of those things..." he freely admitted "...so I would be interested in taking that offer." he said nonchalantly, much to the goth`s pleasant surprise.
"You would?" she replied meekly.
"Sure, we could be construction partners. Do you know any other likeminded kids who would assist us?"
Lucy shrank and was hesitant to answer. Ryan already knew why. Admitting that you were a friendless loner wasn't exactly a bragging point, he knew it all too well.
"I...don`t have...many friends." she managed to say timidly.
Ryan smiled smoothly. "Well, Lucy...you got one now."
"You`ve gotta be kidding me!" Lynn was ready to facepalm when the door suddenly opened, causing her to hit the floor hard.
"Guys! We have a situation!" Lincoln came rushing in.
"Oh look, the Masked Dealer has returned to his lair!" Ryan snickered mockingly.
Lincoln scowled and fumed.
"The hero in spades! The jack of all traits! Did you deck some crooks tonight and flush the criminal scum-"
"Will you quirk it Taylor! This is serious!" the costumed boy snapped.
"Ughh...what happened now, bro?" Lynn joined him while rubbing her aching head.
"Lincoln!"
Before he could get a word in, Lucy jumped to his side and hugged him.
Lincoln winced before she let go and looked up at him.
"Oh, hello, Lucy. Didn't see you there." he chuckled awkwardly. He was happy to see that she was alright, but her presence compromised this urgent situation.
"Lincoln, I was worried about you." she told him straightforwardly. "You were hiding for days and disappeared last night...then Luan... I..." she started choking on her own words.
"Lucy, don't cry, I`m perfectly fine." he gently reassured her. He felt bad, realizing that his weird behavior must have made her concerned. If only he could comfort her at a better time.
"Yesterday, me and Lynn had a sleepover at Ryan`s place, then me and Clyde went to a comic book convention at the mall. Then we helped mom clean the house. That's all."
Lucy had a feeling that something was wrong. Something about her brother`s demeanor seemed off. "But before that Lynn told me you were sick, and you ran away from dinner."
"I just said he wasn't feeling well..." Lynn rolled her eyes "...he...eh ate something that didn't agree with him...eh and he hurled into the toilet at one a.m. After that he was fine." Lynn lied.
She knew Lincoln had something important to tell them, and they needed to ditch Lucy.
"And why did you stay with him that night?"
Lynn snorted. "What kind of a dumb question is that? Lincoln wasn`t well and I watched him over. He`s my brother."
"He`s my brother too, and you wouldn't let me see him." Lucy retorted. "You said I wouldn't understand. What's there to understand about indigestion?"
"Damn it, how does she remember all of that?" an irritated Lynn thought.
"Because..." Lynn thought of a rebuttal "...I was sure that whatever you would have done to "help him" would have been something creepy or weird that would only have made him feel worse." she folded her arms haughtily.
"And what did you do? Punch him in the gut or hold him upside down so he would vomit quicker? My, what a loving sister you are." Lucy`s voice was laced with sarcasm, though she wasn't unconvinced that Lynn didn`t do such things to Lincoln.
Lynn glared daggers at her.
"Girls, please, let's not argue about petty reasons." Lincoln butted in. "Lucy, I`m sorry that I made you worry about me. But I`m totally fine, I swear it."
She wanted to believe him, but Lucy couldn't shake that feeling off. She also noted how Lincoln reeked off sweat, no doubt after doing housework for hours, while still wearing his Ace Savvy suit, something he would usually try to keep in tip-top condition.
"And why were you still wearing your costume while helping mom?"
Lincoln gulped. "Oh that...i eh was trying to be a hero and eh...so I..."
As he rattled on, Lucy noted how he was unwittingly rubbing his side, he had been doing it a lot since they started talking. And he recoiled in discomfort when she hugged him.
Making a rash decision, Lucy reached up and pulled his mask down. She promptly gasped.
"What happened to your eye?"
Panicking, Lincoln hastily pulled it back up. But his cover was blown.
Ryan shook his head. "Time to cover his ass for him...again."
"Dude, I told ya that mask wasn't gonna fool anyone. Just swallow your pride and admit about your little accident."
Lucy turned towards him. "Accident? Did someone hurt him?"
Lincoln and Lynn grew tense and swallowed huge lumps.
"No, no, no, no, no..." Ryan dismissed it. "You see, while at the mall your brother had to answer natures calling and while in the bathroom he sort of slipped on a bar of soap and smacked eye-first into the door handle."
"He slipped in the bathroom?" Lucy repeated.
Ryan shot the siblings a brief glance to play along. Lincoln scowled in annoyance. Ryan gave him plausible deniability, but only at the expense of making him look like an idiot.
Lynn sighed. "There, happy now, Nosy?" she asked bitterly. "You just made him feel even more humiliated."
Lucy turned silent as she let those words sink in and saw her brother`s dejected look.
"I...I`m sorry, Lincoln. I won't tell anyone." she promised.
He smiled."It`s okay, Luce. You were just concerned for me."
He approached her and placed both hands on his shoulders. "And I appreciate your concern. A family is supposed to look out for each other."
Lucy grew a warm smile.
"Yeah, yeah, whateves!" Lynn barged in. "Didn't you have something to tell us, Linc?
Lincoln smile dropped and his eyes drifted towards Lucy. "Yeah, I did..." he lowered his voice "...I gotta talk to you...and...ugh...Ryan. In my room. Alone."
And just like they feared, "What about me?"
Lincoln frowned sullenly. "Sorry Lucy, but this is just between the three of us-"
"Why?"
"Forget it. This is a private meeting. Big kids only!" Lynn interjected curtly.
Lucy frowned. "And why is that? Why do you have a meeting?"
Before Lincoln could respond Lynn cut him off.
"We don't have to tell you anything! You're too young to understand and like I`ve said, it's a private meeting!" she answered a little too harshly, making Lucy flinch back.
"Let`s go!"
She promptly grabbed Lincoln by the arm and reached out to grab Ryan`s shirt, and forcefully led them both out of the room.
Now alone, Lucy fumed and balled her fists in silent rage.
"I understand, don't want a loser like me to bother the "cool crowd", Lynn."
Rita grabbed a can of beer from the fridge and sat on the recently cleaned kitchen table. After opening it she took a deep breath and exhaled. Peace and quiet.
She could finally relax, she actually had a moment to herself. Even harder to believe was that two of her children had willingly volunteered to assist her in the laborious and thankless task of cleaning their home after Luan`s Prankmageddon.
She could only assume that her son going to the comic convention that he had been anticipating for months and her daughter spending an entire day with her possible first crush must have put them both in an unnaturally good mood. She knew that Ryan did not want to do this but was guilt-tripped by Lynn, but he still went along upon her insistence. And one disapproving glare.
Rita chuckled. "He may not be much to look at...oh who am I kidding. I married a man with clown hair and a nose that could stop traffic." she shook her head.
"But at least, from I could glimmer, he`s a devoted friend to Lynn. More of a man than some other people I know..." her thoughts drifted back to a coward of a husband.
Rita tried not to think about him, she wanted to relax. For all she knew, she might not get a chance to chew him out until tomorrow.
She took a sip of the beer before getting startled by the front door being slammed open and her daughters busting in yelling, "COME OUT LUAN!" "We ain't scared of you!" "You`ve terrorized us for the last time!"
Rita dropped the can and it spilled across the floor. She slouched down and moaned dejectedly. "It was fun while it lasted..."
"SHOW YOURSELF, YOU COWARD!" Lori shouted while yielding a rake. The rest were huddled around her each holding whatever weapon they could find in the garage and around the house.
There was no response and the sisters grew rapidly more afraid.
"I told you she was taunting us! She`s toying with us!" a trembling Lola cried while holding a toy ax up.
"Girls, please, keep your voices down. The crisis is long over." their mother groaned tiredly as she walked out of the kitchen while massaging her head.
The still terrified sisters looked at her bewildered.
"Huh?" Lori uttered.
"Luan slipped on the banana peel and is currently sleeping off her head injury." Rita explained.
A silence ensued before the sisters dropped their weapons and cheered loudly. Rita had to cover her ears.
"Alright!" Lana pumped her fist.
"Serves that cow right!" Lola declared gleefully.
"What a shame. We wanted to do the hurting. But I`ll take what I can get." Lori remarked snidely.
"Now girls, let's not celebrate your sister hurting herself-" Rita started.
"Positive, mother. Given the scale and grandeur of her tyranny a mere concussion isn`t even a remotely adequate amount of karmic justice." Lisa "agreed".
"That`s not what I meant, sweetie..."
"Sorry, mom, I hate to be mean, but..." Luna shrugged "...karma is karma."
"Who`s Karma? Is she a pop star from India?" Leni asked cluelessly.
Rita facepalmed and slowly dragged her hand down her face. "Ughh...eh let's just be happy that everyone is fine."
"Yes, everyone survived." came a monotonous voice. Rita and the girls jolted as Lucy suddenly appeared amongst them.
"Clamp it, Lucy! We were just enjoying Luan`s glorious humiliation!" Lola snapped at the goth.
"Thanks for noticing that I was missing." Lucy thought with bitter sarcasm.
Lana suddenly got an idea and turned to her twin. "Hey, Lola! We should find some permanent markers and draw all over Luan`s face before she wakes up!"
Lola grinned evilly and rubbed her hands. "Good idea! And then we`ll rub jam all over her and unleash your red ant farm on her!"
"Girls, you're not gonna do that! Am I clear!" Rite said sternly.
"But mom!" the twins whined.
"I had enough pranks for today and that's final!"
The twins pouted and looked down disappointedly.
"Pfft...killjoy..." Lori rolled her eyes before noticing something.
"Mom, how did you clean up the house so quickly?" she asked in amazement.
"Lincoln and Lynn helped me out-"
"Oh, so the backstabbing sellout duo has returned." Lori remarked condescendingly.
"Trying to weasel their way into your good grace. How pathetic!" Lola spat venomously.
"Girls, that's preposterous! I know my own son, he might not be perfect but he would never stoop to such a low." Rita disagreed.
Her husband, however, was a different story.
"Look, girls. Please don't bother them. We had enough turmoil for one day. Besides that, Lynn brought a friend over."
"Oh, so those two are hoping to abuse the "friend privileges" so we won't give them hell for what they did?" Lori replied bitterly.
Rita sighed. "No, he`s Ryan, the new friend Lynn met, and he`s been nothing but polite, so I would really appreciate it if you treated him nicely."
Upon that revelation, Lori, Leni and Luna all widened their eyes with interest and looked at each other knowingly.
"Her new friend? You don't say." Luna replied, sounding intrigued.
"Great job, mom. Now they'll all come up to make fun of him." Lucy thought somberly.
Suddenly, they heard Vanzilla parking in front of the house.
The whole group heard footsteps and happy whistling and promptly glared at the front door where Lynn Sr. cheerfully walked in in his fisherman outfit, holding a large fish container.
"Hey, familia! What a day. Sorry I`m late, traffic to Lake Michigan and back was crazy!" he said cluelessly as he placed the container down and opened it to show off its content. "But on the upside, I caught enough fish to feed the whole family for at least two days."
After not getting a response Lynn finally noticed that his daughters were all giving him death glares.
"Eh...did something happen?"
"Yes, you could say something happened." his wife replied sarcastically.
Lynn didn't follow until he inevitably noticed that the furniture was on the ceiling. He quickly put two and two together.
His face dropped and he could only utter a feeble "Oh".
"And I assume you enjoyed your fishing trip." Rite crossed her arms. "You sure picked a great, sunny day for it."
It didn't take a genius to read between the lines. "Rita, wait! It's not what you think, I had no idea about this."
"Oh please, spare us the excuses, dad." Lori snarked condescendingly.
"Not cool, pops." Luna shook her head.
"Spineless tattletale!" Lana spat.
"Everyone, please. I had no idea about this, I swear!" he pleaded when Rita walked up to him.
"You. Me. Our bedroom. Now!" she barked at him, Lynn gulped as she grabbed his hand.
She turned to her daughters. "Girls, to your rooms. Immediately!" she ordered them as she dragged her husband upstairs.
"But we didn't have dinner." Lana complained.
"Grab whatever you want from the fridge! Then it's off to bed!" their mother shouted impatiently.
"Looks like dad and Charles are gonna be roommates for a while." Luna quipped.
"So what do we do now?" Leni asked.
"I know, we can chew out Lynn and Lincoln." Lori suggested. "But first, we`re going to meet Lynn`s crush! With a name like Ryan he`s gotta be like super-handsome!"
The three teens squealed excitedly, making the younger sisters cringe and cover their ears before they rushed upstairs.
"You think we should see this?" Lana asked her twin.
Lola shrugged. "Why not? It will be fun to see Lynn get embarrassed!"
The twins followed, but Lisa and Lucy stayed behind.
The genius rolled her eyes. "Sounds like a fascinating venture, but I would rather preoccupy myself with something more productive. Like recuperating the diminishing calorie reserves in my metabolism." she said to no one in particular and went into the kitchen.
"Sigh. I can't bear to watch this." Lucy said to herself sullenly and followed Lisa.
As she entered the kitchen a roughed up Cliff peaked behind the wall, nervously surveying his surroundings.
Then, he got grabbed from behind. Cliff screeched and hooked his claws into the wall as he was being pulled back before he lost his grip and was dragged away.
"So Mr.L placed a letter in the attic that told you of a fake buried treasure. Full of play money?" Ryan snorted at the notion as he leaned against the door.
"What`s so funny?" Lynn scowled.
"I`m sorry..." Ryan bit back laughter "...what was he trying to teach you with that wild goose chase again?"
"To work together, not to be greedy and that there are no shortcuts in earning money, why do you ask?" said Lincoln who was sitting next to Lynn on his bed.
"Riiiight. And he did that despite knowing that you guys would level the house looking for it? I think I see a flaw in that plan."
"Ryan, would you mind criticizing our parents` parenting some other day and just help us find that freaking letter." Lynn replied in a deadpan manner.
"Easy peasy, just go to the attic and tear DeMontoya`s letter apart." Ryan responded nonchalantly.
"But we don't know where to find it. We weren't the ones who found it, and searching our attic is like looking for a needle in a haystack." Lincoln explained.
"Then who did?"
Lynn thought about it. "I think it was Luan? She was practicing with her new magic kit that day and Lana came in, trying to teach Charles to sniff for clues."
"They argued about who had dibs on the place, and they ended up knocking some stuff over, and Luan eventually found the letter. That's what she told us...ughh...if only I could remember it in more detail." Lincoln lamented.
"Well, getting rid of that mask that's probably cutting off the blood flow to your brain would probably help." Ryan quipped. Lincoln fumed.
"He`s got a point, Linc." Lynn added. "Your black eye won't go away overnight and you can't keep prancing around wearing red pajamas and a tablecloth forever."
Lincoln got defensive. "First off, this is a red spandex jumpsuit and a fine silk cape! Secondly, you two are still dressed like football players!"
Lynn tilted her head and smirked. "And football outfits are comparable to a scarlet ballerina uniform how?"
They were interrupted upon hearing noise from above in the air vent.
"Get your elbow away from me!"
"Hey, you move your fat keister out of my face!"
"Oh no..." the siblings groaned simultaneously before Lana and Lola dropped from above and landed on top of them. The twins coughed and dusted themselves clean. The older siblings groaned beneath them in pain.
"There you guys are!" Lana exclaimed cheerfully at her brother.
"If you don't mind, we were sent to find you two and unlock your door." Lola explained smugly lying on top of Lynn, who growled in annoyance.
"This is unreal." the twins heard an unfamiliar voice marvel in disbelief. They looked and came face to face with Ryan, who had his gaze fixated on Lola.
When Lana said that she had an identical twin she wasn't exaggerating. Seeing the little tomboy he knew wearing a pink dress and a tiara felt almost as unnatural as traveling back in time.
The twins stared at him in total silence before simultaneously shrieking "ZOMBIE!"
Ryan had to cover his ears and shut his eyes as the noise almost punctured his eardrums.
Lola ran and plucked the toy plane from its suspension strings.
"GET AWAY ZOMBIE!" she jumped and smashed it over Ryan`s head, breaking it.
"No!" Lincoln screamed in despair while Ryan clutched his head.
"Lemme handle this!" Lana shouted and grabbed the mecha action figure from the dresser.
"No! That's a collector`s item!" Lincoln cried as Lana jumped and broke it on Ryan`s head.
"DIE ZOMBIE!"
Lynn intervened and grabbed both twins by the arm. "Enough you two!"
"Are you crazy! He`ll eat our brains!" Lola cried while tugging her arm.
Lana did the same. "It`s an undead football player!"
Ryan rolled his eyes while rubbing his head. "Y`know, I`m used to people screaming at the sight of me, but getting assaulted? That's a new one." he noted sardonically.
Lola`s arm slipped out of her glove and out of Lynn`s grasp while Lana bit her sister`s hand.
Lynn screamed in pain as the twins made a mad dash towards the door, pushed the lock open and ran into the hall screaming.
"This can't be good..." Ryan droned while Lincoln cradled the broken remains of his toys.
"Dammit..." Lincoln darted to close the door. But just as he was about to lock it the door was pushed open and slammed him against the wall, with only his arm sticking out.
"Lousy brat!" Lynn hissed as she clutched her hand but promptly gasped as Lori, Leni and Luna barged in.
"Ah, locking yourselves together in a room, you naughty little girl." Lori grinned at Lynn. "And you thought that you could evade us-" she abruptly stopped as she laid her eyes on Ryan.
Luna`s jaw dropped while Lori screamed her head off.
Leni, on the other hand, gushed and clutched her hands.
"You must be Ryan, you're so adorable!" she squealed excitedly and pulled the boy into a bear hug.
"It's so totes cool to meet you!"
After the initial shock, an annoyed Ryan glanced back at Lynn. "Lynn, who the hell is this and why is she hugging me?" he asked in tranquil annoyance.
"The rest of my sisters..." Lynn replied exasperatedly. Might as well get over with the introductions. "Lori, Luna...and you met Leni."
Ryan pushed himself free and started backing away from the ever cheerful teen. "Hey, no hugging, tutz. I ain't a hugger." he warned her sternly.
"Awwww, you don't have to be shy, any boyfriend of Lynn`s is a friend of ours." Leni replied pleasantly. The jock fumed at the remark.
After finally composing themselves Lori and Luna gawked at their sister in disbelief.
"Leni! Get away from that thing before you catch whatever it has!" a freaked out Lori pulled her sister back.
Narrowing her eyes, Lynn stepped forward. "That thing is my friend Ryan, Lori!" she addressed her venomously.
Lori blinked. "That`s...Ryan?" she pointed at him. "You brought that ugo here?"
"Nice to make your acquaintance too, Blondy." Ryan deadpanned.
"Yes, I did." Lynn folded her arms. "And mom gave him permission to stay for the night. So if you have a problem with that you can go and piss off!" she spat at her.
Lori would have been more infuriated by her remark, but she was still too dumbstruck by the appearance of their guest. She remained silent, eyes twitching as she tried to let this revelation sink in.
Finally, she threw her arms up. "Okay, it`s official. Lynn has completely lost her marbles." she declared passively before glaring at said sister. Lynn glared back.
Lincoln, meanwhile, stumbled towards them dizzyingly, holding his throbbing head.
"I don't know what the hell kind of faze you're going through, but I want nothing to do with it." she spat, turned around and walked off without a second glance.
After an awkward silence, a nervous Luna spoke up. "Eh...hey there, dude." she waved at Ryan uneasily.
"Eh...don`t mind her, she...eh just has a unique way of greeting people."
"I can see that." Ryan snarked. "I can tell I won't like her. Meh, but at least she was honest with me. Unlike whatever the deal with Blondy 2.0 is." he shifted his gaze at Leni.
"Okay, tell me everything!" an overeager Leni suddenly approached him. "How did you two meet? What do you like about Lynn? Have you gone out on a proper date yet?"
Lynn shuddered in irritation, feeling too tired for another outburst. "What part of "my friend Ryan" didn`t pass through your thick skull?" she asked dryly.
Ryan raised his eyebrow, feeling utterly befuddled. Why was she acting so nice and friendly towards him?
"Alright, I don't know what you're trying to accomplish, but will you please drop the act?" he asked sardonically. "The nice girl facade isn't fooling anyone."
"And OMG! You already got matching outfits!" Leni squealed.
Lynn sighed dejectedly. Once again Leni`s mind was on another plane of existence.
"Those are football jerseys, Leni." Luna pointed out, rolling her eyes.
"Exactly, and it`s the perfect look to complement and tie Lynn and her significant other together." Leni replied cheerfully before pushing Lynn and Ryan closer together.
"A perfect, and fashionable match!" she smiled brightly while the two preteens blushed furiously and stepped away from each other.
"Will you knock it off!" Lynn complained.
"Rita, I swear I had no idea about this!"
The kids all turned around as they heard Lynn Sr. pleading to his wife. Lincoln was the first to see his mother pushing his father out of their room until they reached the stairs.
"Rita, I`m begging you! You have to believe me. If I had known I would have taken all of you with me!" the man was just seconds away from begging her on his knees.
Rita glared at him coldly. "If I were you I`d go and get our furniture off the ceiling pronto. Unless you prefer sleeping on the floor." she told him bitterly.
"Yes ma`am." her husband said in defeat and walked downstairs with his head held low.
"Mom, what`s going on?" Lincoln rushed to her side.
"Nothing you need to worry about." Rita explained dejectedly. "Your father and I just need...some space for the night."
Lincoln looked down. It was happening all over again. Rita looked over to her son`s room and sighed.
"Girls, it's getting late. You can get to know our guest more tomorrow. Bed. Now!" she ordered.
"As you wish, mom." Luna was happy to leave the awkward situation.
"Okay, the lovebirds need privacy." Leni smiled and winked at Lynn before leaving.
Lynn sighed with relief. "Thanks, mom. You're a life saver."
"Yeah, no offense Mrs.L but I think your daughters don't know the concept of "breathing room", Ryan added.
"No problem." Rita replied plainly. She should have guessed that her daughters wouldn't give their guest the warmest of greetings if the twins running around and screaming "zombie" was any indicator.
She tried to smile as she approached Ryan. "Eh...so you met the rest of the family. How...eh...how was it?" she asked nervously.
"It was...interesting." Ryan shrugged.
Rita chuckled awkwardly before clearing her throat. "Yeah...eh...glad you like it here. Anyways, why don't we show you your room for the night." she tried to change the subject.
"You`ll be staying with Lincoln."
"Say what?!" both boys blurted in disbelief.
"Mom, he`s my friend. Why can't he stay with me?" Lynn protested before glancing aside. "Lucy and him are getting along as well." she added begrudgingly.
Her mother chuckled. "I`m afraid I can't allow that, young lady." she replied with a bit of levity. "He`s a boy, you two are girls. You can't share a room, it would be...awkward."
Lynn frowned and crossed her arms.
Lincoln stepped forward. "But mom! We...eh...but I sleep in a modified closet, there isn't enough room."
"I know, dear." Rita agreed. "But you can borrow Lisa`s room for the night. I`m sure she won't mind."
The toddler poked her head from her room and scowled as she walked up to her mother. "Hold on for a second!" she spoke up.
"What`s this I hear about my brother taking custody of my sleeping quarters? I did not agree to such terms!"
"It`s only for tonight, Lisa." Rita explained. "We have to make room for our guest." she pointed at Ryan.
"Great Galileo!" the usually stoic genius jolted upon getting a good look at him. Ryan rolled his eyes.
Lisa strapped a germ mask over her mouth and put on some sanitizer gloves. She rushed to her room and came back with a chair. She placed it in front of Ryan to elevate herself and plucked some of his hair, making him wince.
"Eh...on second thought, I think I shall retreat to the bunker and examine if our guest of honor is carrying any life-threatening illnesses and if anyone here is in need of being quarantined." she elaborated before going downstairs.
"Huh? I guess...eh...you`ll have your own room for the night." Rita told Ryan who was rubbing his head while staring oddly at the disappearing toddler.
Lincoln knew he would regret squandering his chance not to bunk with Ryan, but the thought of leaving him alone with all of Lisa`s inventions and god knows what else did not sit well with him.
Sacrifices would have to be made for a better future, he kept telling himself that.
He had to focus and think clearly if he wanted to prevent further accidents. Today he only had minor success at best, and he and Lynn made themselves look not just like crazy paranoiacs, but also like cowardly deserters.
"Interesting, the little Velma lookalike must have quite a thing for chemistry." Ryan deduced as he observed all the colorful tubes and glasses on her table.
"Don`t touch any of that!"
"Pfft...like a toddlers chemistry kit is gonna blow up the house-Uhhh...what`s that?" Ryan grabbed a remote-like device from the table.
"Don`t touch that!" Lincoln snatched it from his hands.
"What`s this one do?" Ryan took some kind of laser.
"Don`t touch that!" Lincoln snatched it from him.
"Uhhh...how did she make this pretty teal color?" Ryan quipped as he held up a tube.
"Don`t touch that!" Lincoln tried to take it but Ryan held him at arm's length.
"Didn`t your mommy ever teach you to share?" Ryan laughed while holding him back only for the tube to slip out of his hand and break on impact.
Ryan went wide-eyed as its content burned a hole through the floor.
"What the hell? You saw this too, right?"
"I told you not to touch anything!" Lincoln lamented. "If Lisa invents something there's a 90% chance it will blow up, or worse!"
"And your parents allow the 3-year old to own dangerous chemicals?"
"They don't! Lisa just has a talent for grabbing a bunch of regular household ingredients and concocting all sorts of dangerous chemicals out of them."
"The 3-year old girl concocts her own chemicals?" Ryan snorted. "I`m supposed to believe that?"
"Believe whatever you want, Taylor." Lincoln turned around and sat on his bed. "Those acids won't burn my flesh off."
Looking back at the hole in the floor, Ryan chose to, for once, listen to him and backed away.
"Eh...I don't care much about chemistry anyway." he stated dismissively.
"Anyways, I`ve been thinking about tomorrow`s dilemma."
"Oh really? And what did you have in mind?"
"Simple, we`ll distract Luan and the squirt from entering the attic. Lynn can keep the squirt busy with some tomboy-tomboy bonding, while you`ll dig for the letter."
"And just what will you contribute to the mission?" Lincoln asked skeptically.
Ryan smirked. "Because I'm willing to do one for the team, I`ll be distracting Luan."
Lincoln didn't like the sound of it. "How?"
Ryan smiled sleazily and shrugged. "I`ll ask her out."
Lincoln`s jaw nearly hit the floor. "No! Absolutely not!" he jumped to his feet. "No way! Nada! That's the stupidest idea I have ever heard!"
Ryan smirked with delight. Seeing Lincoln triggered was always a treat. "Why?" he faked ignorance.
Lincoln couldn't believe the nerve of this guy. He turned livid. "Have you lost it! There's no way in hell I`ll let you creep on my sister! We have a serious problem on our hands, this isn't some freaking auction for you!"
"Well, I won't deny that I'm trying to twist the situation into my favor. Funny Girl is kinda pretty." Ryan admitted cheekily.
Lincoln scowled. "Did anyone ever tell you that you're a grade-A creeper!"
"Meh, you`ll be no different in two years tops." Ryan shrugged it off.
Lincoln wanted to argue on that but chose not to. "Forget it, you won't be doing this!"
"Oh, and I suppose you have a better plan?" Ryan asked snidely.
"I have!" Lincoln retorted before his voice trailed off. "I...just haven`t thought of it yet."
"Mmmhm...and need I remind you that we're on a time crunch." Ryan replied coolly. "I don't think we can afford not having a sure-fire plan to distract Luan. You know she can be very tricky when she wants to."
"And you think you yourself are the ideal distraction for her?" Lincoln smugly retorted, almost laughing at the notion.
Ryan grinned ear to ear. "Yes, I do. She might be your sister, but I, with my more...mature perspective, understand certain things about her you can`t comprehend yet. She`s lonely, friendless, and desperate. Easy prey for anyone who can put on a little charm."
Lincoln vomited a little in his mouth before folding his arms. "That just cements the fact that I don't want you anywhere near her!"
Ryan yawned. "Have it your way." he shrugged his shoulders. "But just think about what's more important to you. Your sister being sizzling arm candy for yours truly, or your folks splitting up again."
Lincoln narrowed his eyes. All of sudden they heard a cat meowing. Both boys turned and Lincoln gasped. "Cliff?!"
Marceline walked into their room, carrying a shaking and roughed up Cliff by the scruff of the neck like a kitten.
"There you are, Marcy." Ryan quipped. "I see you've fetched yourself a new friend."
