The Wolf You Feed

Chapter 60

"WHERE IS SHE?," Daryl screamed. His voice came out like a roar, making it clear that he was bordering on the edge between angry and feral.

Nokake held Falcon in her arms. She grabbed for little Judith's hand and backed both children away from him. Daryl was not a violent man. She had never been worried for the safety of her children when he was around. And she really wasn't truly frightened now. But he had come flying into their house in a state of complete rage and panic. He had startled her. And the kids. Falcon was clinging tightly to her shirt, his face buried in her neck. Daryl had already torn through the entire house, screaming for Rowan. Now he was in the middle of their living room, shaking with pure adrenaline.

"They took her," Nokake explained, though she feared Daryl had already heard the same words from someone else and just didn't want to believe them. "The Saviors! They took Rowan. They took Grey Wolf! I don't know where they went!"

Daryl cursed. He turned and kicked at a nearby chair, sending it flying into the wall in pieces. He ran for the door. But instead of opening it he began punching it with his fists. Nokake was scared he was going to break his hands. But she was holding the children. She couldn't stop him. After a few hard punches, Daryl rested both fists against the battered door. He leaned his forehead against the wood and took a few ragged sobbing breaths.

"I'm sorry," Daryl sobbed. He turned to Nokake. She was cringing away from him in the corner of the room with her son in her arms. The Saviors didn't just take Rowan. They had taken Nokake's husband away as well. She didn't need Daryl to do any further damage to her. The kids didn't need his shit either. Daryl was sure they were traumatized enough.

"I'm so sorry," Daryl repeated. Nokake let go of Judith's hand and rushed into Daryl's arms. He held her as she sobbed into his chest. Little Falcon was smashed between them but he didn't seem to mind. Daryl was loud and angry but the man was familiar to him. Daryl often carried the boy around and took him on walks. He sat on the floor and played puzzles with him. He took him into the garage and pointed to the many metal tools, teaching the boy the name for each and its purpose. Daryl was family. Falcon kept one arm wrapped tight around his momma but snaked the other chubby arm out to wrap it around Daryl's neck as well. He felt safe and secure wedged between them.

"What are we going to do?," Nokake asked through her tears. She had seen the men that came and took her husband. Not only were there hundreds of them. They were well armed and extremely organized. The people of Alexandria were tough. The wolves were tough. But they didn't stand a chance against a group of that size. And that was even if they could even figure out where they were to go to fight them.

Daryl pulled back, little Falcon clinging to him as he moved. He ended up holding the boy with one arm, his other hand resting on Nokake's shoulder. He looked down at the boy. Then into her soft brown eyes.

"I'm going to get them back," Daryl declared. He expected Nokake to object or question him. But she didn't. She only nodded her head, looking at him with total confidence that he could do what he said he would. Still Daryl repeated the words again for his own benefit.

"I don't know how yet but I'm going to get them back."

The Saviors had seen him. But only as part of a group. None of them had seen him alone. And most had only seen him from a distance. Daryl didn't think they would recognize him from only his facial features. But they might recognize his belongings. He pulled his leather vest off first. He hung it in the closet next to Rowan's dresses. Then he took his crossbow and set it on the closet floor next to her sandals. He pulled off his wedding ring and put it in the top dresser drawer. Hers was already in the drawer. Rowan often removed it and left it at home if she was going swimming or foraging. He plucked it from the drawer and pulled her mother's crystal from his pocket. Unclasping the small silver latch, he threaded the thin silver chain through the ring and let it fall so that it clicked against her crystal. Then he fastened the clasp and pulled the necklace over his head, tucking it into his shirt. It felt good pressed against his chest. Like a little part of her was still close to him.

Daryl headed for the bathroom next. He stared at his own reflection for a moment. He knew this was all his fault. He never should have left Rowan alone. She was pregnant. And they had been well aware of the looming threat of the saviors. He left anyway. It was his fault she was taken.

Daryl raked his hands through his hair. It was the longest it had ever been. Before the turn, once it started dragging on his neck he would hack it off. But Rowan loved it. He fell asleep often to the feel of her twining her fingers into the hair at the base of his neck. There was more grey than he remembered. Daryl didn't spend much time looking in the mirror. He took one more angry glance before he yanked open the cabinet.

A pair of electric hair clippers was sitting on the bottom shelf. They were still practically brand new. Rowan had only used them a few times to cut the dog's hair if they got something matted into their hides. A bit of white fur from Morgan was caught in the corner of the clipper blade. Daryl pulled it free before plugging the clippers in and flipping them on. The vibration felt good against his head. Clumps of his hair fell down around him like autumn leaves. For all the time it had taken for his hair to grow so long, it only took him a few moments to remove it.

Daryl ran his hand over the stubble that was left on his head as he judged his handiwork in the mirror. His scalp was a lighter color than his face. But that would darken up soon enough. Daryl was satisfied that he looked different enough not to be recognized by strangers that had only seen him once. He barely recognized himself.

He packed a bag next. Extra socks and gloves. Daryl had been on the road before. He knew what he would keep in his bag and what he would end up discarding later to avoid being weighed down. He was going to have to move fast. He didn't want Rowan with those people any longer than she had to be. Daryl packed emergency food and a water filter. He dressed in layers so that there was less in his bag. He went into Grey Wolf's room and grabbed the man's spare longbow and enough arrows to avoid having to make any for a while.

Nokake was waiting for him near the open front door. Michonne was on the porch with Judith in one arm and her son in the other. Daryl guessed she had run straight to Rosie's house and grabbed the boy up, then she had come for Judith.

"Wastee oomani," Nokake told him.

Daryl was well aware of the meaning of her farewell. Rowan had said the same words to him many times before. And to her father. They meant good journey, good luck, be careful and come back soon. When she spoke, Nokake stepped forward and embraced him again. When she stepped back, she took hold of his hand and pressed a braided lock of her hair into his palm. Daryl had a lock of Rowan's hair as well. He kept it in the inside pocket of his vest, which was hanging in the closet. He thought about going back up for it, but time was of the essence. Still, he was happy to have Nokake's token. He knew it was not something the woman would give lightly. Daryl didn't fully believe in charms and magic. Not the way Rowan believed. But he figured he was going to need all the luck he could get. He curled his fist around the braid of hair, gripping it tightly. Nokake brought his hand up to her lips and pressed a quick kiss to his rough skin, sealing the good luck of her charm into his flesh.

Daryl ticked his head to the left, making eye contact with Michonne. He expected some protest from the woman. He was strong and capable. But going off alone still involved some element of risk. But Michonne simply nodded her head and continued holding her babies tight. If one of them had been taken, there was no force in the world that would keep her from going after them.

Tony and Eugene were waiting for him near the gate. Again, Daryl readied himself for an argument. He was sure the men intended to talk him out of leaving. But instead, they each handed him a small bag. Tony's was heavy in his hand. It held several boxes of bullets and a handgun. Daryl had a gun but a backup never hurt. He tucked it into his belt and gave the man a nod of gratitude. Eugene had a package of traveling food for him. There was a large pile of energy bars that Olivia made. A small bag of dried fruit and a larger bag of jerky took up the rest of the space.

"Your mission is statistically impossible to complete," Eugene stammered, "but I still believe that you will succeed." Daryl clapped the man on the shoulder. Eugene was a strange bird but he was family. Daryl appreciated the food the man gave him. He would make better time if he didn't have to stop to hunt.

"Wastee oomani," Tony told him before adding, "I must stay. It's my job to protect the people of this town." Daryl nodded. He could see the man was conflicted with his decision. Especially since two of the people that had been taken were family to him.

"He would want you to stay here with Nokake and Rosie," Daryl assured the man. Truthfully, Daryl didn't know what Grey Wolf would want Tony to do. The man was unpredictable. But Daryl felt the right thing for Tony to do was stay and keep the girls and their babies safe. Daryl felt better leaving with Tony staying.

Tony slid the gate open for him and Daryl left without another word to either man. He was still full of adrenaline and started off at a brisk pace. As Alexandria slowly disappeared behind him, he didn't look back.