"That`s your plan?! It's the dumbest plan I`ve ever heard of!"

Lynn had gotten up early to meet with the boys in Lisa`s room. Today was the day they had to keep the rest of the sisters away from the attic.

But the plan Ryan proposed in order to accomplish that didn't jive well with her.

Actually, that was an understatement. The moment Ryan explained what he had in mind the jock felt livid on the inside, as angry as she would be being denied to participate in a big sports event for any number of reasons.

"Dumb is such a crude word. I`d say a better description would be: simple, yet effective." Ryan replied with chill confidence. The three were sitting in a circle on the floor and Lynn shot her friend an ugly look.

"No, it's just plain dumb. Stupid. Maybe even a tad idiot." she snarked before looking at her brother. "This is seriously the best you guys could come up with? Were you two even planning last night or were you just watching bad romcoms?"

Sighing, Lincoln pinched the bridge of his nose. "I`m not very partial with that plan myself..." he felt sick to his stomach for defending Ryan "...but we don't have an option. We have to deal with this problem immediately and I have to stay here and stay close to the rest of our sisters. Who knows if one of them decides to go to the attic and find the letter. If they do I`ll have to act fast and distract them."

"While Ryan goes on a bogus date with Luan?" Lynn glanced back at the latter."That`s just stupid beyond words!"

Ryan exhaled exasperatedly before giving her a small smirk. "Alright, then you can keep her busy. Some sisterly bonding might not be a bad thing." he said with a look of mirth.

Horror immediately spread over Lynn`s features. "Are you nuts! I can barely stand ten minutes of her freaking puns!"

"True, and I'm sure she won't be too eager to see you after you two butted heads last night. And I doubt I`ll be of much use trying to manipulate the rest of your sisters since half of them can't even stand the sight of me." Ryan agreed.

Lincoln cleared his throat. "And you said you might be able to convince her to reconsider her April 1st tradition." he pointed out. It was that bit that actually convinced him to give this ludicrous plan a chance.

"I could." Ryan nodded.

"What? How?" a bewildered Lynn looked at Ryan who smiled with self-confidence.

"Well, let's just say that the words of a stranger sometimes hit harder than the words of friends or family. People who live in a bubble tend to take the harsh words of the latter lightly. Y`know, they're my family they`re just overexaggerating, the usual denial. But when an unfamiliar face says it there`s little reason to think they don't mean it."

"Besides, if that doesn't work I can always crank up the charm. Luan`s easy to play for a chump once you earn her trust." he finished slyly.

Lynn felt ill hearing that. Not so much about Luan being played for a fool, she wouldn't honestly mind that. But something about Ryan being the one doing it made her feel jumpy.

Suddenly they heard voices from the hall.

"Shhhhhh...be quiet." Lincoln told the others.

"Hey Luna! I just got this new magic kit! Do you want to be my first audience?"

"Dude, you`re seriously not in a position to make idle chitchat right now." the rocker retorted in an uncharacteristically cold and dismissive tone.

The disappointment in Luan`s voice was very evident as she called after her, "Oh c`mon, sis! It was just some harmless pranks...Luna? C`mon! Don't be a dour fuddy-duddy!" her tone grew more desperate as she chased after Luna.

"It's starting, we have to act. So have we agreed on our strategy?" Lincoln spoke up urgently.

Lynn wanted to argue against it, but like Lincoln, she started cracking under pressure. Why was she getting so riled up about this? Ryan was taking care of Luan so they could search the attic in peace. A simple distraction. Why was this upsetting her?

She didn't have time to dwell on it. "Alright fine! I still stand that it's a dumb plan but...ugh...you two are the planners, not me." she crossed her arms, looking peeved.

"Alright guys, take one of these." Lincoln handed them both a walkie-talkie. "We have to stay in constant contact."

"Lllllame, were Bluetooth earpieces too expensive for you, you tightwad? I can't work with shabby equipment." Ryan quipped while checking out his.

"This is serious, Taylor!" Lincoln raised his voice impatiently.

"Sheesh, lighten up a bit. We`re trying to change the future, we`re not going to war for Pete`s sake."

"As I was saying..." Lincoln continued "...here`s the plan. Lynn, you can start searching the attic. I`ll scout the area and get a fix on everyone and distract them if any try heading up. And Taylor..."

Lincoln felt beyond skeezy for letting this happen and tried not to throw up."...you keep Luan distracted. But only until we find our objective."

"Giving us a curfew too? You're such a buzzkill." Ryan retorted snidely.

"Don`t get your hopes up, Romeo. I doubt you'll even get her to leave the house." Lynn snarked, trying to restrain her growing and inexplicable frustration.

Ryan smirked at her. "So many naysayers. You guys might eat your words soon enough. I might not be the most handsome fellow but I know how to talk up a girl, the trick is to make her feel good, flatter her and say everything she wants to hear. Luckily I won't have to do too much improvising, Luan`s already pretty cute and charming in my humble opinion." he shrugged.

Lynn grew tense and twitched. Luckily for her Ryan was preoccupied with enjoying Lincoln`s disapproving glare.

"A simple friendly trip through town will be enough. And don't get any funny ideas." Lincoln warned him.

"Sheesh, alright. But if the lady gets any ideas, who am I to deny her..." Ryan replied teasingly when both heard the sound of plastic getting crushed.

They saw a surly Lynn holding a crushed walkie-talkie in her hand. Realizing what she had done Lynn grew nervous and hid it behind her back.

"You okay, Lynn?" Ryan raised an eyebrow.

"Peachy..." she grumbled before standing up.

"I`ll go search the attic." a dour Lynn excused herself and left.

"If I find this dumb letter quickly we won't have to do this ridiculous plan, and Ryan won't have to suffer Punny McGee`s company for a whole day." she told herself along the way, immediately rationalizing it as the cause of her frustration.

"Well, she sure wastes no time with her assignment..." Ryan noted before smiling smugly at Lincoln. "Speaking of which, you might wanna take notes when I introduce myself to Luan. You're sure to learn some useful tactics for picking up chicks."

"I can't wait..." Lincoln deadpanned.


Down in the living room, all the furniture had been returned where it belonged, covered in dust from the ceiling's paint job, a lot of which had been unintentionally scrapped off and cracked up in the processes of removing the furniture of it.

That alone took hours to accomplish but Lynn Sr. went the extra mile to repaint it afterward, his guilt for unintentionally abandoning his family at the worst of times (and a few cups of coffee) was enough fuel to keep him up working all night. Right now he was spread over the couch, covered in dust and white paint, snoring.

Slowly, one by one, the girls started coming down. Lori was one of the first, her eyes were bloodshot, she sported horrendous bed hair and just all around looked miserable, but following last nights events even she still felt too exhausted to give a crap about her appearance as she headed straight for the kitchen.

The twins soon followed. Like Lori, Lana felt starved after last night`s craziness and headed straight to the kitchen, but the ever-vain Lola couldn't resist fixing herself up and admiring her reflection in their bedroom mirror first.

As usual, Lana placed the food bowls for their pets. She called for them but Cliff mysteriously didn't show up, neither did Walt or Geo, but Charles did. The little tomboy was in for a surprise.

"Cheese and crackers! What happened to you?" she kneeled down to the bull terrier who was digging into his bowl.

Pouring cereal, Lori grumbled. "Mom said he visited the vet. Don't touch the cone or his bandages!" she shouted flippantly without even looking at Lana before sitting down to eat her cereal.

"The vet?" Lana uttered in shock before petting the canine`s back. "You poor thing, I hate visiting the doctor too."

"Eww...don`t touch him, he might still be ill." Lola said as she came down the stairs while adjusting her tiara.

Lana shot her a stink eye."Don`t be such a jerk! The poor guy had it rough."

"Oh boo-hoo, don't be such a baby." Lola shot back curtly. "A visit to the doctor never hurt anyone. And it's nothing compared to what we just went through."

Lana frowned at her when she heard a cat meowing and turned around, but she didn't find Cliff. Marceline sniffed the cat and dog food and quickly gagged at the smell, she was used to fresh meat.

"Hello." an intrigued Lana approached her. "Wow. You're a big kitty." she said in amazement as she petted the cat`s head. Marceline purred pleasantly and Lana giggled and pulled Marceline into a hug.

"She likes me!"

Lola stuck her tongue out. "Ewww...don`t touch it. That thing must belong to that creep Lynn dragged in."

"Really? Well if he likes pets he can't be that bad." the tomboy concluded, much to her sister`s disgust.

As she released Marceline Charles came to lick the feline`s face, much to her annoyance.

Lana giggled. "Aww look, they're already friends. Say, did you meet Cliff?"

Lana looked around but saw none of their other pets. "Weird, where`s everyone?"

"Luan probably scared them all off for good." a surly Lola deduced. Neither noticed Marceline burping and coughing up a small yellow feather.

"Luna, c`mon, don't be sourpuss!"

Carrying her guitar Luna came down, followed by Luan.

"Pretty please!" the comedian begged. Luna stopped and pinched her forehead.

"What part of "I don't want to see you right now" did you fail to understand?" she responded bluntly.

Luan bit her lip when the twins joined them. "Oh look, the sleeping beauty has awoken." Lola snarked before kicking the teen in the shin.

"Ow! What was that for!" Luan cried while grabbing her leg.

"Cuz we`re stinking tired of your dumb pranks!" Lana explained and kicked Luan`s shin as well.

"OW!" Luan cried and kneeled down.

"That`s smarts. Can't say you didn't earn it though." an aloof Luna commented.

"Hey? On who's side are you on?" Luan complained. Luna rolled her eyes.

"No one`s, but I'm as tired of your dumb April Fools shenanigans as much as everyone else."

"They're not dumb!" Luan stood up. "Do you know how much time, thought and effort I had to devote with every single one of them?!"

"I`m sure you did. But sometimes effort isn't enough. All the effort in the world can't make up for simply lacking talent."

"What`s that supposed to mean?"

"It means you aren't funny and you should quit trying to be!" Lana interjected.

Luan was taken aback. "Hey! Comedy`s subjective and you can't say such hurtful things like they`re fact."

"Oh really..." another voice joined the conversation.

"If eleven out of the twelve people in this house agree that you ain't a comedian and utterly loathe your pranks then I think that what Lana said is fact." Lori said coldly. "And quadrupling down on it on April Fools won't change it, all it does is highlight your nonexistent talent!"

"She`s right. If no one but you is laughing, then you screwed something up." Luna agreed.

"Indeed, so unless the point of your idiotic Prankmageddon is to watch people suffer and get some sadistic pleasure out of it, which I'm not convinced that you don't..."

"Sadistic pleasure? All I do is embrace the spirit of April Fools!" Luan snapped back. "It`s not my fault if people can't take a joke and lose-" she was cut short by a bowl of ice cream being flung in her face.

"Cool down, sis." Lola laughed cruelly.

Lori chortled. "Now that's funny!"

All the sisters laughed while Luan wiped her face clean and scowled at them.

"Sorry for the cold comfort, dude. But you brought this on yourself." Luna shrugged and promptly left. "Now if you'll excuse me, me and Sam gotta jam."

"Haha..." Luan retorted dryly at the remaining sisters. "Laugh at the girl with the head injury, why don't ya."

"You`re totally right. Such a shame that it didn't give you amnesia so we could model you into not being a bane in our existence." Lori rolled her eyes, finally experiencing some levity in 24 hours. Luan glowered at her.

"But they do say that sweet revenge is best served cold." Lola quipped mockingly. The others snickered.

"Luna left, good. That's one less sister to worry about." Lincoln crossed her off his list.

"They're slaughtering her right now. This will be even easier than I expected." Ryan shook his head while peaking from behind the wall.

"Just go already, and if I call you, answer immediately!" Lincoln ordered him only for Ryan to painfully pinch his cheek.

"Don`t you worry your little melon off." Ryan reassured him in a sickeningly sweet voice. "I`ll get Luan out of your fair white hair. You just make sure I don't get interrupted."

Lincoln pushed his arm away and growled.


With everyone giving her the cold shoulder (she was already sick of ice puns), Luan made herself a sandwich and wanted to go back to the sanctuary of her own room, when she heard something purring and brushing against her legs.

She looked down to find an unfamiliar feline.

"Ah, so you`ve met my little friend." she heard an unfamiliar voice behind her. Luan faced the speaker and promptly jolted upon seeing his pale, sickly face and crooked toothy grin.

She nearly fell back, dropping her sandwich which Marceline happily caught in midair.

Ryan swiftly put his hand behind her back and caught her. "Oops! Did I spook you? So sorry." he smiled charmingly while looking down at her.

Luan was stunned into silence as Ryan helped her up.

"What`s wrong? Did my cat get your tongue?" Ryan joked before acting embarrassed. "Oh pardon my poor manners..." he "apologized"and took his cap off while bowing down. "...Ryan Taylor, friend of Lynn`s."

Luan couldn't help but smile at his over the top gesture, in spite of her confusion. "Lynn`s friend?" she finally spoke.

"In the flesh, I know she spoke a lot about me at the dinner table, even if we met only recently." Ryan confirmed.

"And you must be Luan! I was hoping to meet you. We technically met already, remember, the "civilian" in the football helmet? Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to properly introduce myself after you and Lynn butted heads."

Luan remembered Lynn knocking her out, though she couldn't recall how she got the second bump on the back of her head. Upon her recollection, she felt angry at the jock but she quickly got distracted by the strange boy that came out of nowhere.

Actually, no. She remembered him, even though she never saw his face last night, nor did she know why he was still in their house in the early morning. And, wait? Was he the same boy they teased Lynn about being in love with?

"Eh...did you stay with Lynn for a sleepover?" she asked timidly, not exactly being used striking conversations with strangers.

"You guessed it. Met everyone here, that Lucy kid seems nice, I found out that we both share a love for Halloween and we have similar...complexions." Ryan cheekily gestured at his pale face. "Cute kid, but a bit introverted."

Luan blinked, obviously the last thing she would have brought up was this guy`s odd appearance, she knew all too well how it felt being mocked for looking weird, yet this boy was casually, and almost proudly, drawing attention to it.

"Eh...yeah...she`s the strong silent type...I guess..." Luan replied awkwardly, not knowing how to do small talk.

"Yeah, but I hear you're the exact opposite of that. Lynn and Lincoln said a lot about you."

Luan grew nervous. "Whatever they said it's not true!" she said hastily before blushing.

"Really, huh?" Ryan tapped his lip. "Cuz from what I heard about you, you sound like a very..."

Luan felt a chill and gulped.

"...interesting girl. A prankster, a practical jokester and a bit of a showwoman? I saw your Bond villain act last night, it was really hilarious. And I mean that in a good way of course. You have some real acting chops."

Luan went slack-jawed, unable to believe her own ears. Did he just compliment her? Sincerely?

"You...liked it?" she stammered incredulously.

"Liked it? I loved it?" Ryan chortled.

"I`m a bit of a joker myself. I`m not the kind of guy who's overly serious. I like to joke around, fire zingers at every opportunity, look at the humorous side of life, and I too have a flair for the dramatic!"

"Oh...like with what?" Luan asked, growing more curious and more comfortable with his company.

"I`ll tell you, but maybe we should get acquainted better first..." he smiled "...somewhere more private. And maybe catch some fresh air?"

"Eh...sure...I mean if you want to...eh...I...I`d like that." Luan answered, feeling nervous and sweaty.

"What`s going on there..." Lori muttered to herself from the table. Was that ugly kid flirting with Luan?

"Ughh...why is that zombie-looking ugo still in our house? He creeps me out, and he`s probably carrying disease, like cooties! Blah!" Lola lamented from across the table.

"Beats me. Lynn dragged short, dark and gruesome in here, but she's nowhere to be seen, and I have no idea why he`s suddenly getting friendly with Luan of all people."

"I don't know why anyone would wanna come near that cow without a ten-foot pole." Lola replied mockingly.

"Well, hormones could be a reason..." Lori snickered to herself, though she had no idea why anyone would be attracted to ol` buck-toothed and fashionably challenged Luan, or even the butch, plain Jane Lynn.

But then again, she supposed that if you looked like Gollum mixed with Leatherface your dating options weren't exactly grand.

She then got an idea. "Maybe we could find out by spying on them?" she suggested deviously.

"Good idea, this oughta be fun." Lola grinned devilishly.

"We should dress up in camo first!" Lana suggested and her twin nodded.

"Alright, let's do it!" the two rushed upstairs.

Lori chuckled. She would rather just sit by the living room window and keep an ear out, maybe learn some juicy gossip, but on her way, Lincoln blocked her path.

"Hey Lori..." he greeted her nervously. His sister frowned at him sourly.

"What is it, twerp! I was in the middle of violating other people`s privacy if you don't mind!" she tapped her foot irritably.

"Sounds interesting..." Lincoln replied idly "...but I thought you should know something."

"What?" Lori groaned.

"Well, I just found out that Carol Pingrey posted several new selfies on her facebook profile last night and every one of them has already gathered over four hundred likes." Lincoln shrugged, faking ignorance.

"Say what now?!" Lori gasped, her eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets.

"You two are friends, aren't ya? So I thought you might wanna check them out. Bobby already left a comment on one of them saying she looked good."

Lincoln saw his sister almost have a short circuit. Bait taken!

"This will not stand!" Lori shouted pointing up. "Anything Miss. Prim and Perfect can do I can do better!"

Lincoln smiled with satisfaction as she stormed upstairs and crossed her off his list.

She would probably be preoccupied for at least a few hours trying to make the ideal selfies to upstage Carol, probably without ever checking out the latter`s profile in her hurry. He knew that much as being a certainty with Lori.

Ryan could handle the twins on his own.

"Kids, please... keep it down...I`m trying... to sleep." he heard his father mutter groggily while tossing and turning on the couch.

Lincoln sighed. He still had to check on the rest of the sisters and make sure they wouldn`t pose a problem.

"For mom and dad. For mom and dad." he told himself as he went upstairs.


"So last year you filled the basement with marmalade, filled the house with spring traps that would fling people into giant spider webs and trapped your parents into a quick-drying giant pie?" Ryan asked as he and Luan were sitting against the tree in the yard.

Luan was holding and petting Marceline, and simply nodded.

Ryan chuckled uncontrollably. "And..." he struggled to compose himself "...and you turned Lincoln into a sticky paper mummy while he was sleeping and he spent the entire day lumbering through the house going "mmphmphmm" and getting everything he touched stuck to him?"

"Yup." Luan nodded. "And the year before that I tricked him into thinking that he was cursed with bad luck and could only nullify the curse by putting on a squirrel costume, and I put a lock on the zip. He spent the whole day in it until the neighbor`s beagle ripped his tail off. Luckily the suit proved to be good as protection from dog bites as well."

Unable to keep it in any longer, Ryan collapsed to the ground, rolling and laughing uncontrollably. Luan remained silent, still not knowing how to react to someone actually laughing at her shenanigans.

Pulling himself up, an out of breath Ryan started whipping away tears. "Where have you been all my life? There's never a dull moment when you're around, is the there?"

Luan shrank and blushed sheepishly. "I...please don't overblow it...I...am not that good."

"Are you kidding me? You should have your own tv show! Any current two-bit prank series has nothing on you! You're a mad genius!"

Luan`s blush deepened, her heart pounding faster and faster.

"How the hell did you even do half of that stuff? Like nailing the furniture to the ceiling? And where did you get 20 gallons of marmalade?"

"A magician never reveals her secrets." Luan smiled mischievously.

"I can respect that." Ryan shrugged. The image of Lincoln being stuck in a furry costume for a whole day was hilarious enough.

"Y`know, your cat`s really adorable." Luan pointed out intuitively while snuggling Marceline. "Cliff was never this affectionate."

"Always had a soft spot for the little fuzzballs, never was much of a dog person." Ryan admitted resting against the tree.

"Show your "soft side" by having a cat with you. Guaranteed to win girls over."

They heard a squirrel chirping in the tree, and Marceline immediately leaped out of Luan`s lap and climbed up the trunk.

"She`s quite a huntress. Never had a single vermin in my old home since I got her." Ryan bosted before turning to Luan.

"But speaking of that, could I ask you a tiny winy little favor?"

Luan smiled chipperly. "Sure, Ryan. What do you need?"

"Well, nothing specific. It's just that I am still not very familiar with this town, and I was hoping that someone could give me a tour of the place."

Luan was surprised. "You want me to be your tour guide? But...what about Lynn?"

Ryan grew a small smirk. "I wouldn`t call it being a tour guide. You see, Lynn`s a great friend but all she ever shows me are places where the kids play sport. Football fields. Soccer fields. Ice hockey rings. Those seem to be the only places she seems to know about. I would like to learn a little more about this town. Things that don't involve sport."

"I was thinking more like you and me just strolling around town, maybe get a drink, possibly catch a movie, and maybe visit that theme park. And I was hoping we could do it today, and don't worry I saved up money."

Luan blinked, deathly silent, her eyes growing wide and her face growing pale from anxiety. "Me...me...you want to... hang out with me..." she stuttered.

Ryan shrugged. "Yeah, you seem like a fun person to spend the day with. What do you say?"

A silence ensued.

Luan placed her hand on her chest, feeling like she was about to lose conciseness. "Are...ar...eh...asking..." she struggled to complete the sentence.

Ryan raised an eyebrow, though he already knew the answer. "You okay?"

Luan tried hard to pull herself together and swallowed a huge lump. "Are you..." she asked timidly "...asking me out on a date?"

Ryan smirked and shrugged his shoulders. "Well...I guess you could call it that. A boy and a girl strolling through town alone, people are bound to jump to certain conclusions. I wouldn't exactly be embarrassed if people mistook you for my girlfriend." Ryan smiled dashingly.

He could already see Luan melting on the inside as hearts were practically popping out of her head.

"So, could you find the time to show a newbie around town?"

"YES! I WOULD ! I-" Luan jumped excitedly before calming down and composing herself "...eh..I mean sure, I can, just need to check my schedule." she tried to sound more aloof about it.

Ryan smirked. "I`m in no hurry. Take all the time you need to prepare."

Luan started feeling light-headed. "Yeah...I eh...thanks...eh...excuse me for a sec!" she abruptly rushed into the house.

"Hook, line and sinker." Ryan folded his arms with satisfaction before hearing a distinct rustling in the bushes.

Raising an eyebrow, Ryan strutted over to the bush and scrutinized it. "Hmmm...unless my ears are deceiving me, I think I heard something." he commented idly.

"Great job you klutz!"

"You were the one making noise, princes!"

"Shut up! He`ll hear us!"

Rolling his eyes, Ryan reached into the bush and pulled out the twins, both of whom were dressed in camo and wearing mud-brown face paint and soldier helmets.

"Well, well, what do we have here? A pair of nosy interlopers!" he said while suspending the squirming twins by their arms.

"I`m sorry, mister! Please don't hurt us!" Lana cried.

"Let go of me, you filthy ruffian!" Lola yelled demandingly.

"Poor choice of words, kid." Ryan replied dryly before letting them both plop on their butts.

"Ow." Lola whined while rubbing her behind before glaring up at Ryan. "Hey, what's the big idea!"

"You tell me, tiny." Ryan shrugged. "Didn't your parents ever tell you that spying on other people is a very mean thing to do."

If only he could tell which one was Lana and which one was...the other one.

The twins, given that they were busted, were hesitant to answer. But Lola eventually stood up and glared at him.

"We were playing soldiers, and you have no right to interrupt our game!"

"Oh, well, in that case, you should do some practicing, cuz you were about as stealthy as a hippo in a china shop."

Lola gritted her teeth and balled her fists. Ryan smirked with amusement and felt curious about testing the little girl`s temper.

"And speaking of hippos. You might wanna lay off the sweets, girly, cuz you look like you're gonna burst out of that jumpsuit."

Lana snickered while Lola froze. Ryan could almost see her yellow hair turning into fiery flames and her teeth morphing into fangs.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!" Lola jumped and grabbed his shirt. She planted her little legs into his chest and started tugging his shirt madly.

"I`M NOT FAT! I`M SLIM AND PRETTY! A PAGEANT QUEEN YOU BLIND, TASTELESS IDIOT! TAKE IT BACK!"

"Yep, she`s definitely not Lana." an unfazed Ryan mused before grabbing her by the collar of her jumpsuit and yanked her off.

"LET ME GO SO I CAN KILL YOU!" a foaming Lola screamed and tried to grab him while being suspended in the air.

"If you say so?" Ryan let her go and she fell on her butt once again. Lana snickered again.

"You should be more precise with your wording, tiny. Next time tell me to put you down, kay?" Ryan advised her.

Growling like a mad dog, Lola lunged at him only for Ryan to place his hand against her forehead and easily held her at arm's length.

"Temperamental little lad, aren't ya?" Ryan quipped. "I sure hope you never discover social media."

He then faced Lana. "I can see why people like you more, Lana."

"You know my name?" the tomboy asked.

"Sure I do. Lynn said that you`re a very nice girl..." he turned towards Lola "...and I`m starting to understand why she didn't say so much about your clone."

"MY NAME`S LOLA!" she screamed while punching the air.

"Lola? Isn't that the name of Bugs Bunny`s girlfriend?" Ryan asked with amusement.

Lola screeched at the top of her lungs when Ryan suddenly drew his arm back and Lola hit the ground facefirst.

"Damn, that voice could shatter porcelain. Hope your folks keep you far away from priceless antiques." Ryan joked.

Lola rolled over onto her back and started breathing heavily in tranquil fury while glowering at him.

"Wow, most people get scared of Lola when she throws a fit, but you didn't!" Lana approached Ryan in awe.

"Scared of her?" Ryan bit back laughter. "Why would I be scared of a two-foot tall, shrill-voiced gnome throwing a hissy fit? Well, unless you're concerned about your eardrums."

"Not me." Lana pumped her chest out proudly. "I know better than anyone that my sister`s just a noisy, spoiled windbag!"

"I AM NOT!" Lola was suddenly all up in her face.

"Yes, you are!" Lana shot back.

"No, I`m not!" Lola pushed her slightly.

"Yes, you are!" Lana pushed her back. "And you use too much perfume!"

"Huh! Better than smelling like a dumpster!"

Ryan lowered his arm between them. "Lana. Lulu. Let's not exchange such harsh words." the boy said sarcastically.

"My name`s Lola!"

Ryan rolled his eyes at her. "You think I care what your name is? "Lana`s Annoying Doppelganger" is good enough for me."

Lola clenched her teeth. "At least I`m beautiful while you look like your face threw up! Huh!" she crossed her arms haughtily.

Ryan smirked sinisterly before suddenly leaning in just inches from her face. "Say that one more time and I will eat you!" he told her threateningly.

Lola`s pupils shrank and she screamed before running into the house. "MOM!"

Ryan cackled with satisfaction before noticing the terrified Lana.

He chuckled nervously and straightened himself up. "That was a joke, kiddo. Just messing with her."

"So...are you or aren`t you a zombie?"

Ryan wanted to facepalm. "Lana, think for a second. Is your sister Lucy a zombie just because she doesn't have a nice tan?"

Lana pondered. "No...of course not...i think?"

"Right." Ryan pulled his cap off to reveal two bumps on his head.

"And if I were a zombie you and your clone would have knocked my noggin clean off last night instead of giving me these." his tone grew a bit more bitter as he pointed at the bumps before putting his cap back on.

"Oh..." Lana realized and shuffled her foot sheepishly. "Sorry about that."

Under most other circumstances Ryan wouldn't have taken a simple apology from someone who assaulted him unprovoked, or at least would have used the chance to blackmail them for their little mistake as much as he could. But he just couldn't find it in his heart to stay angry at Lana, something about her always made him feel soft. He hated himself for that.

"Forget it...old hat." he sighed before noticing Marceline trying to flush out the squirrel from its den in the tree. While he was still here he might as well find a distraction for Lana. Less work for Lynn.

He kneeled down and placed a hand on Lana`s shoulder. "But may I ask for a little favor? You like animals, don't ya?"

Lana brightened up. "Sure I do! What do you want?"

Smiling, Ryan pointed up. "See that cat? That's Marceline-"

"Your cat? Oh, I met her and I like her already, she`s very pretty and very nice." Lana happily replied to him.

"Great. You see, me and Luan have some...stuff to do. And I need someone to take care of Marcy while I'm gone. She means the world to me."

"Sure I can! I love cats." Lana bounced excitedly. "Does she like to play?"

"Pffff, you better believe she does, except for one thing..." Ryan pointed his finger up. "She`s an outdoor cat. She likes playing outside and doesn`t like crammed spaces. Like the attic."

"Awesome! I like playing outside too!"

"Well then, you two gals are a match made in heaven." Ryan replied jovially.

Ryan watched in amazement as Lana climbed up the tree like a spider monkey to meet up with Marceline. The kid sure had some mad skill. Watching her in the tree kind of reminded him of himself when he was younger and less jaded.

"By the way, I love your hat!" Lana shouted from above. "I wear one like that too!"

Ryan shook his head, feeling a tad sentimental about the kid for a moment.

"Hey Ryan...I...I`m ready to go if you are..." he suddenly heard Luan`s timid voice. Ryan turned around and his eyes widened.

Luan was standing in front of him with her hair down, wearing a black denim jacket over a purple rock and roll t-shirt with a silvery skirt and knee-high, leather boots. She looked uncomfortable and withdrawn, avoiding eye contact and shuffling nervously.

"Wow." was all Ryan`s mind could muster.

"Had a change of wardrobe?" he asked rhetorically.

Luan smiled shyly. "Oh, those dorky clothes..." she tried to sound chill and confident ."...I only wear them around the house and when I practice my comedy, when I go in public I like to be more...fashionable."

At least she hoped she was being fashionable instead of looking like a total dweeb. She did, after all, loot her older sisters` closets for this.

Ryan knew that she was talking a load of baloney, but who was he to complain about it? He liked what he was seeing.

"Can`t argue on that..." he shrugged nonchalantly "...you look great."

Luan`s smile grew with giddiness at the compliment. "Thanks." she replied in a small voice.

Ryan shot her a charming smile. "So, wanna lead the way?"


"Mom! MOM!" Lola was knocking on her parents` bedroom door but her mother was sound asleep and the door was locked. Fuming, Lola was ready to bang on the door until her knuckles bled when someone grabbed her wrist and pulled her away.

"Lola! What are you doing!" came her brother`s angry voice.

"Let me go!" Lola protested.

"Keep your voice down, mom and dad are still sleeping." Lincoln shushed her. "Wait? Why are you wearing camo-never mind! I don't care, just let mom have her rest."

"I won't." Lola whined. "That Ryan creep and Lana were mean to me! He threatened to eat me!"

Lincoln facepalmed. "Of course he did." he muttered inwardly.

"Lola, chill out, he was joking with you. And no one likes a tattletale."

"I don't care, they were still mean to me, I`m telling mom!"

"No. You're not." her brother said firmly and started leading her away.

"Hey, you can't do this to me!" Lola cried as Lincoln dragged her to her room. He stopped and looked at her.

"Yes I can." he replied calmly but firmly. "Older siblings have authority over younger siblings. Mom and dad are tired and you won't bother them, am I clear!"

"Who do you think-" Lola was cut off as Lincoln came closer and starred her right in the eye.

"I said, am I clear!" he repeated, this time more harshly.

Feeling afraid, Lola shrank under his looming shadow and feebly nodded.

Lincoln sighed. "Don't get angry, stay calm. Yelling won't accomplish anything. You have to find a way to keep her occupied."

At that moment he heard Leni humming happily as she left the shower. Suddenly Lincoln got an idea. "Bingo. Hit two birds with one stone."


Lynn was rummaging through an old briefcase, spilling out and looking through its content. Nothing.

"Dammit!" Lynn filled it back up and threw it on the right side of the attic.

Lincoln climbed in, pressing his walkie-talkie to his ear with his shoulder. "Alright, we`ll stay in touch." Lincoln groaned before almost dropping the walkie-talkie. He clumsily caught it and stepped into the attic.

"Any luck?"

"Zilch, I looked over all the stuff on the right side ." Lynn shook her head dejectedly.

"It`s here somewhere, we just have to keep looking."

"No duh!" Lynn snorted tiredly. "And how`s damage control going?"

"Surprisingly good, actually." Lincoln smiled. "I gave Leni the idea to design a summer line of clothes for first graders and goaded Lola into being her model. Luna left on her own to jam with her friends or something and I tricked Lori into distracting herself with another imaginary grudge match with that Carol girl."

"Taylor set up Lana to play with his cat outside, and he`s currently..." Lincoln still shuddered thinking about it "...y`know...distracting Luan. Speaking of her, I saw her dressing up in some of Luna`s and Lori`s clothes before she left. Luna probably won't mind but we better make sure that Lori never learns about it." Lincoln added this to his list.

"Pffff...how desperate can that giggling juggalo get? Teases me about hanging out with Ryan but she agrees to go on a date with him in a heartbeat despite thinking that I`m crushing on him. Which I'm not!" Lynn thought to herself, still feeling aggravated by Ryan`s current escapade.

"That just leaves Lucy and Lisa. I can't find either of them though. " Lincoln concluded, shaking Lynn out of her thoughts.

"I wouldn't worry about them." Lynn replied. "Lisa has probably isolated herself somewhere to analyze Ryan`s hair, if not that then she`s probably moved on to some other experiment. And Lucy..." Lynn chuckled "...that dweeb doesn't have the guts to enter any room beside our own bedroom unless it's completely empty. As long as we`re here she won't be an issue."

"I guess you're right, but there are nicer ways to describe Lucy`s shyness." her brother pointed out disapprovingly.

"Yeah, whatever, now help me look for the letter while we still have the chance." Lynn brushed him off and continued rummaging.

Sighing, Lincoln obliged and started looking. As he moved a guitar case he found Cliff covering behind it.

"There you are?" Lincoln leaned down and petted him. "Don't worry, Cliff. Marceline`s outside and she won't be getting in."

Cliff quickly scurried off and disappeared into the pile again.

Lincoln exhaled. "If only he was trained to sniff out phony treasure maps."


Finally, my creative block is over, otherwise, I would have written and posted this chapter a week ago.

Looks like Luan is seriously violating the sis code (hormonal imbalance mixed with desperation will do that), while poor Cliff is getting emasculated more and more by the minute XD